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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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mariab sandoval
November 22, 2013 at 5:38 am
Me and my ex were together for 4 years since 7th grade and now were juniors and I broke up with him plenty of times. The last Tim’s I left him he hasn’t forgiving me So he went with another girl than came Baum and dis this 3 times. This last time he stayed with her a day after we broke up he got with her. They seem happy he said he only asked her out because people kept giving him crap about it. He also wore my sweater today. I need hell.
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:49 pm
Have you tried NC on yet?
Janet
November 22, 2013 at 3:21 am
Hey Chris, I broke up 2 months back..I and my boyfriend had first become best frnds n den aftr dat we went into a relationship..we were the best of frnds for 2 months n den for 3 months we were together..we had a fight sumtym ago..bt it sorted out then and there..jst aftr dat the situation worsened becoz he ws vry stressed out so he asked fr a break..he suppressed his feelings and consequently he broke up..I pleaded him several tyms to be back..n give me one chance to set back things to happy as earlier..bt he sd he doesn’t feel d same fr me nw..he asked me dat we cud stay as frnds as he is over me..bt I ws nt prepared to remain as a friend wid him so I refused..I followed no contact rule but all in vain..I wished him on his birthday by a simple text..he rplied pleasantly by saying thanx n asked further how I ws bt I didn’t respond..my friends talked to him to be back bt he convinced them saying dat I don’t understand him..its been two months and we are in the same college..he knows that I want him back bt he doesn’t want to get back and I often see him..he ignores me bt since 2-3 days I guess he is triying to keep a watch on me that too secretly..he is cut off from all our mutual frnds.!! I really want to get back with him and be happy as we used to be before..widout any big fightsplz help me out as soon as possible! π
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Well, what have you done so far? NC? LC?
Janet
November 23, 2013 at 3:51 pm
Yes..i hv tried NC. Right after the breakup I pleaded him a lot to be back but he got irritated! So I followed the NC rule for more than a month..after one month of NC it ws his birthday..I couldn’t resist myself wishing him..but we are no more in contact now
admin
November 23, 2013 at 8:44 pm
At least you are in contact now. How is the communication going.
Janet
November 24, 2013 at 5:19 am
Nooo..we are not in contact π I just wished him on his birthday and he replied thanx..thats it..it has been a month since his birthday and we are no more in contact..he just ignores me all time whenever we see each other in college and he doesn’t want to talk to me!
admin
November 24, 2013 at 7:39 pm
You are in contact or in no contact?
Janet
November 25, 2013 at 7:55 pm
in no contact
Janet
November 27, 2013 at 4:49 am
not in contact
Melissa
November 28, 2013 at 12:34 pm
U should just forget about him. If a guy wants you, he will show it. Guys rarely play hard to get. Sometimes when u go through something like this you feel that this person is perfect you and you will never experience true love again but you will. I felt like that with my ex I was with for 4 years. I met someone else after our break up and he is such a lovely person, my birthday was a few weeks back and it was amazing, it was the best birthday I ever had.
Be a strong classy girl. Guys like girls who are independent, girls who don’t need them. When you truly happy again, it will shine through and your ex will want you back then and you wont want him.
Janet
December 1, 2013 at 3:19 pm
why are u nt givin me any solution?? π
Janet
November 29, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Yes u are right..I try my best to get over him..but he’s in my college and whenever I see him everything from the past flashes back into my mind..I mean its very difficult and I still luv him as before..time has not reduced my affection for him even a bit..n I really want him to be back!
Erin
November 21, 2013 at 6:04 pm
So the guy I was talking to was deployed overseas for 9 months. We never met before in person so it was weird. I spoke to him nearly every single day while he was away. 6 months in he tells me that he’s in love with me. We both agreed to wait for our first date for him to officially ask me out. He came back home on the last week of october. We had our first date that very same week. It felt as if we’ve always been together. But three days later i get a long text saying how he couldn’t handle being in a relationship and that he needs to be on his own. I was crushed and confused on why it went downhill so fast! I cried for days. I knew Id get depressed if I didn’t try to move on so Im slowly getting back up into the saddle. I wish I could have him back. He’s all I ever think about. I did the NC for about 2 weeks after before I broke down and sent a text asking him what he did to all the emails I’ve sent him over the past 9 months. He didn’t respond back! Still hasn’t… I want to make myself known to him that Im still here and that I want him to be reminded of me every day. How can I make myself known to him and make him remember me? Did I blow it with that one text?
admin
November 22, 2013 at 6:48 pm
Try to make it through a full month of NC.
Callie
November 21, 2013 at 5:45 am
I was in a serious almost perfect relationship. it was two and a half years. I honestly felt like nothing could compare to what we had. Then we moved in together and started fighting, and one day I said I couldn’t do it anymore and moved back home. At the time I felt what I did was right, there were too many lies, drugs and him being untrustworthy for me to care. but months past and we began talking again, connecting again, and of course I started loving him just as much as day one. He would come stay with me on his weekends off and made me believe we were together again, loving eachother again, but in all reality he was talking to two other girls, then it led to him messing with the other girls, and he eventually flat out told me what he was doing. It broke my heart into soooo many little pieces. as time went on he dated one of the girls and was having her text me rude things, then something happened with them so he was hitting me up again, I didn’t fall for it that time, instead we only texted and talked on the phone. But all the sudden he started dating the other girl he messed around with. At the time we were friends on facebook and were like texting buddies. This all changed. he blocked me, told me to never talk to him again. So yet again my heart was crushed because in my mind we were attempting to “talk tings out”. But here were are TWO years after out break up, im still in love with him, I still miss him, I cant date anyne else, I literally dream about him almost every night, and think about him every day. I know I sound crazy and obsessive but I cant help it. People tell me move on, but honestly if I could I would. Ive tried, it just doesn’t happen. Now at this time him and his current girl are having a baby next month and they have been together over a year. I feel like a crazy woman, we have had ZERO contact in a year and I STILL want him….
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Serious almost perfect relationship… WOW
I want one of those!
Have you trie da NC yet?
Lindsey
November 21, 2013 at 1:50 am
So heres my story. Me and my ex dated for a year. we had our ups and downs just like any normal relationships does. But towards the end he started getting distant and wouldn’t answer texts or would just one word reply. But then, when i would see him in person it was like nothing was wrong and everything was great. I have fallin’ in love with him and i cant talk or even look at another guy because i dont want to be with anyone else but him. We always talked about our future and how we were always going to be together. one night I was at his friends house (his friend dated my best friend) and we were all hangin out and I had to go home because i had an early morning the next day and i told him i couldn’t stay out late. so we were talking and having fun for little while and then he left me and went to his friend and i couldnt hear what they were saying to each other. i just heard his friend say “come on man don’t go, don’t leave your girl” and a couple minutes later my ex came back to me and said “ill be right back i have to go somewhere but i will only be 10 min.” okay 10 minutes i could deal. it was getting late and the time went by and 30 min rolls around and theres no sign of him. i tried calling but i got nothing. his friend called and he answered and said he was almost back. by this time i was getting a little pissed off because he knew i couldnt stay out late and it was getting very late and i kept telling his friend and my best friend that i was going to leave because i had to go and they kept telling me to wait and that h was comin back. 45 minutes later he came back and i was mad and he tried to kiss me and flung is body on top of me and i pushed him away a little. this didnt go over well and he slammed my car door and jumped in his car and drove off. i called him three times after that and he would pick up and say bye then hang up. so my emotions were flying and i wasnt thinking straight and i sent a text saying i basically was done and didnt want to be with him. i immediately regretted sending that message. but it was too late. the next day i explained my emotions and said i was sorry and we were okay not back together but ok. that night i saw him again and he was being kind of rude not his usual nice self. we went out for desert and after he decided to leave and i followed after him. i was getting in my car when he stopped me by coming behind me and giving me the biggest hug and kiss. i told him i loved him and wanted him back and that i was sorry. he said he loved me but that was all. we still kept in contact and saw each other every now and then and he kept saying ” we both know we are getting back together, i just need time and space”. so thats what i was going to give him. one night we had a 2 hour phone conversation. and we let all our feelings out. he said that i blow up his phone too much and i dont give him space. i told him i was going to work on it and i have. recently we have not talked for a week and i looked on facebook a couple days ago and there was a relationship status with his name and another girl. i immediately fell apart. it was like i was stabbed in the heart. As much as i hate to admit it, the girl is beautiful. all my friends tell me i should move on and that i deserve better and that he has put me through so much. but i don’t want better i want him. i asked him if he was actually in a relationship with that girl and he said ” its complicated” i dont understand how it could be so complicated its either your with someone or your not. i also asked him if we were over and we were moving on? or if we could try at us again. and he said ” i dont know” i am a very emotional person and ive tried my best to be happy but its not easy. i dont understand how your could say i love you and that we both know we are getting back together and then a week later you have a new girlfriend. i want him back and i dont know what to do. i cant be with anyone else, he makes me the happiest girl in the world. and i need him back. what do i do?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Why can’t you do NC?
What would you do?
November 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm
I had my first high school boyfriend. and he took me to homecoming and it was a magical night. A few weeks after that we broke up and we have been talking for a while 1 year and 2 months. when I need somebody to come over and vent to hes there. I cant picture myself with anybody else…. except his girlfriend is a fake biotich… I notice that they aren’t as solid as we were. and I have no idea how to get him back. I am a strong person on my own but compared to her I look like what a dog just laid in the grass. should I try for him still? or quit?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Have you read my post on the ungettable girl?
Emily
November 20, 2013 at 2:21 am
hi!
I’ve been a little over three weeks of NC, about to hit a month. my ex immediately jumped into another relationship after breaking up with me ( We had been dating for two years). he said he needed space and would mi ss me , and wants to stay friends, but he hasn’t contacted me at all during this time. I’ve been focusing on myself and going to the gym and spending time with family and friends but I still want to text him after the NC period is finished. he is still with his gf, so should I text him with the ” guess who I just ran into…” text or the first contact text, like “this just reminded me of you”? thank you for all your help! π
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:39 pm
guess who I just ran into is one that I really like.
Nicole
November 19, 2013 at 2:46 pm
So my boyfriend broke up with me pretty harshly and a few days later is now dating another girl. I handled it really badly and cried and begged and just cried to him for a couple days after. I have not talked to him since he got a new girlfriend, I am now about two weeks into NC. Do you think I ruined my chance, because I freaked out like that? Do you think the relationship is a rebound? Because being this mean is very not in his character. Thank you!
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:28 pm
Have you read the rebound relationship guide?
Nicole
November 20, 2013 at 3:15 am
I have! It was just a really messy breakup, and I just wanted to make sure my few days of post crazy didn’t ruin anything.
Quesha
November 19, 2013 at 2:28 pm
My situation has my feelings EVERYWHERE because he wasn’t my boyfriend but we slept together literally last Sunday & when I came into my high school Monday he was walking around holding hands with her I saw it once and brushed it off because she also all over boys for attention but now he walking her to class , holding her hand , … So we all know what that mean
I’ve liked him since we were little that’s what hurts me THE MOST
What should I do HELP ASAP .!
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:28 pm
Have you started NC yet?
Life_Bliss
November 19, 2013 at 9:59 am
hi Chris,
My ex bf broke up with me and had a rebound.I did NC for 4 months (but deep inside i was whining and feeling sad though I wasnt talking to him…so technically I did not follow all points of NC)
He dated a girl then, she broke up with him, then he dated another…casual ldating he said.
During this time I started talking to him and got hopes up cos we were talking good (bi really felt so) but to him it was nly friendly.
We have argued many times cos he doesnt want to break up but says he can be there as my friend.
what teh hell , I dont want to be friends.I have gone NC many times (max 4 months ata a time).
Also its been soem time since we broke up and since then he has been dating some or the other.
The major reason he broke up with me was taht we had gone LDR.but our connection was so strong that we stood with each other.We always what good and bad was happenng in our lives, but I got really furious over his dating other girls…what should i do.
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:16 pm
Have you read my LDR guide?
Life_Bliss
November 20, 2013 at 7:38 am
Can’t seem to find the LDR guide.Can you please help me with the link ?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:52 pm
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Life_Bliss
November 21, 2013 at 9:19 am
Yes I have tried pretty much all of it…we came close.I had done almost everything u,ve listed by then….NC, sweet memory messages, then I expressed my true feelings cos I felt I still had strong feeling for him, we met in my city…he had to go to another city and stopped by in between….we talked and he still did not agree for another try…said LDR wont work.
But he said he felt we should talk more and he started calling me often and all..
But in between i started feeling hes lookin for someone and started stalkin hin on FB…and then one day he told he me …he again strted seeing someone …in his city and the sae thing that he had been saying – that it would not work cos we are oin differnt cities and we have tried it already π
I stopped all contcat and it’s been 2 months altready.I feel rejected and have no energy to try to contcat him anymore.
He never contacted no matter what time the NC extended to…:(
admin
November 21, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Well you can contact him after NC you know that right?
Life_Bliss
November 22, 2013 at 3:11 am
Well as I said.I always do so.
But whats the point.If he hasnt reached out to me, how long will have to keep in putting the efforts alone ?
I think there are some cases when NC makes no difference!so NC or no NC- I dont see any difference.
Like you said by day 30 , hes going to be mad why I havent contacted me, unfortunately I dont see any of this.And now I feel low on self esteem If I contact him again.
I guess I should let go!
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:38 pm
Is that what you really want though? Moving on? B/c if it is I can help you do that but if you want to give this a try you can keep going.
Life_Bliss
November 25, 2013 at 7:39 am
I want him but Iam very tired trying againa nd again to get him back.He broke up with me last in July 2012 and before that we had broken up in 2011 after which w egot back.
I am very emotopnal today becaus eMy parents are looking for a match for me and I am very uncomfortable meeting these guys in arranged mariages and decide when I dont know if I would click with them.Part of me feels that I am uncomfortabel cos I am still hung up on my ex.I am litreally confused and sad!!
I dont blame my parents.They are doign the best they can but I seem to have a vision of alifestyl and freedom which i cant thesse guys for.I feel claustrophobic.
An ex who has chosen other girls over me cos they r int he same city and me here…what am I doing?I amnot happy eitherways.Do you think you can still help me with my emotions ?
I seem to let go somedays and then again it hits me bad! If it him he need sot make contact cos he has taken me for granted for the past 2 years.This time while I was NC, I did not even wish him on his bithday cos I did not want him to think hes really important after all the hurt.
Sorry to ramble in here but I am very confused and head is spinning thoughts.
Life_Bliss
December 5, 2013 at 10:24 am
ok sure…I just thought may be you had missed cos I understand you get so many questions a day π
Life_Bliss
December 3, 2013 at 8:39 am
you havent replied π
admin
December 3, 2013 at 8:00 pm
It takes me a while sometimes
Life_Bliss
November 26, 2013 at 7:16 am
2.5 months.It was birthday in between , but I did not wish him.
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:13 pm
How long have you been in NC this time?
maria
November 19, 2013 at 3:02 am
I met this guy a few years ago now and we became close friends. Iwould tell him everything. He knew I was interested in someone else but decided to tell me that had feelings for me. I was shocked and I told him he was a great friend but at that time that’s all I saw him as. We continued to be great friends and even though he never said anything it was obvious he still had feelings for me. After a while I started catching feelings for him too and my bestfriends who knew the situation encourged me to let him know. Even though I wasn’t ready to tell him I did it anyway. And all of the sudden he started acting different. He was very clingy and it annoyed me and I felt like I was losing my friend and I really didn’t want to. So I called it off with him without ever really giving him a real explenation and he never asked why so I never told him. We continued to be friends but not as close as we used to be for about a year. This september I saw him for the first time in months. And I continued to see him and he would flirt with me like he used to and I started liking him all over again and I could sence that he felt the same. I had never felt the way I did with him I couldn’t stop thinking about him no matter what I did he was always on my mind. I couldn’t take it anymore so I told him that I really liked him and that I wanted to be completly honest with him so I told him that there was another guy I was talking to but nothing serious but I wanted him to know. And then he tells me that he’s with someone.I was devestaded and didn’t know what to say he told me he was sorry and that the whole situation just sucked. And it did. I’m the weeks after that I continued to see him and at first he would always ask me how I was and keep his distance but after awhile he started during again and doing things like putting his arm around me and on my waist and I began to feel uncomfortable because he had agirlfiend. One day I decided to tell him that I needed space and that I tried to respect that he had a girlfriend but he made it hard for me to move on. After I told him he apologized atleast 5-10 times. It’s really hard to talk to him because whenever I do it always seems like their is a different meaning to what he’ssaying but maybe that’s just me overthinking. Now he avoids me all the time and I hardly see him. And it’s honestly a lot harder then I thought and now all I want to do is talk to him in any way I can. I just want to have him in my life. These past two weeks I’ve found it really hard not to text him and every few days I do and he always texts back. Its getting even harder to resist but I don’t want to annoy him given that he never texts me first. I don’t know what to do. What do you think? Do you think I have a chance? Hes the sweetest guy and all I ever think about and I wish I could move on but I can’t. Please help me.
admin
November 19, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Sure you have a chance but you need to kind of let the situation play out a little bit first.
Brie
November 17, 2013 at 8:48 am
Me and my ex, Hanes, have been friends even after the on-and-off relationship we have for the past 2 years since 2010. We kinda accepted that whatever we do, we’re sort of bound to each other mentally and emotionally. The thing is, we’re the total opposite of each other yet so alike in a really crazy way.
In the fall of 2011, he had a crush on a girl just when we are trying to renew our friendship and intentionally went after her, trying to get me jealous. It worked but before I could give him a piece of my mind, we’re both shocked that she finally agreed to be his girlfriend after just 2 months of courtship.
Hanes has his pride as a man and I got really terrified when I found out that this girl is also from a well- off family too. Knowing how ambitious he is, I painfully cut off any communication from him after that day even though I know we both want to pursue another relationship.
It was fine at first, but in a party we both attended I found out they split (the girl’s strict parents didn’t approve of her having a boyfriend then so they did the most reasonable thing any parent would do) and I was there to comfort him, for selfish reasons. We began seeing each other for awhile but I feel guilty so I let go. Again.
Last year, 2012, Hanes and I became classmates, much to the girl’s frustration. She found out about the short affair and wasn’t trusting me anymore than a bit. I understood her reasons and kept my distance from Hanes as much as possible, treating him just like any classmate would to another. But when I found out that she spread a rumor that I am a stealing bitch, something inside me snapped. I lost my temper and patience with her since.
I spent the rest of junior year after her, trying to hurt her and getting Hanes back. But decided against it since I need to focus for my senior year for those college entrance exams.
Now this year 2013, Hanes and I relived another wave of pain and started a whole new affair behind her back. Instead of feeling guilty, it strangely felt so good that while she’s smiling oblivious in her own world, me and Hanes are planning for our year in college together.
Of course, the affair this time is just casual and a little physical. I wanted to hurt her and earn Hanes back little by little, while he wanted to be free from her jealous rages. I know this is ridiculous but I just wanted to tell someone and let myself out.
The affair won’t be long, when we both have enough we agreed to just stay friends afterwards. I told you in the beginning; Hanes and I are opposites alike yet we couldn’t stay away from each other even if we want to.
admin
November 17, 2013 at 8:38 pm
So I am still not completely clear on what you need my help with?
Nienke
November 16, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Hello Chris,
One week ago, my ‘boyfriend’ broke up with me, because he found another girl.
I never knew if we had a relationship. He always said he got chills of the word ‘relationship’, said he couldn’t give me that. I thought he had fear of commitment. Because he said: what does the word relationship makes things better than we already have?
He also said he would wait for me, because he really likes me and he didn’t want to fuck things up.
I thought things were going well, hadn’t seen him in 8 months so I visited him during our autumn break(something we have in the Netherlands) and it was wonderful.
I asked him if it was just for sex or that he was using me, but he said no, if I was I wouldn’t put that much effort in you.
After the last time I saw him, I seriously thought things were going well. But two weeks after that he started ignoring me. Said he was busy with school and that it would take a while. It was also his birthday so I congratulated him, he said thank you so much. After his birthday the ignoring part started. I bought a gift for him, because he wanted it so badly. For three days he didn’t answer my messages. Never thought I could feel so stupid.
Then one week ago he said: Alright, I have to be honest right now. I met someone else and I really like her. I’m sorry. I feel such a jerk right now because you bought my dream gift. There is someone out there for you, I will never forget you.
Didn’t know I could cry every day over a boy, but I do.
We haven’t talked since. Monday is exactly one week of the No Contact Rule and I still want to talk to him every day.
I want him back. I keep hoping he will say something. Keep hoping it won’t work out with that girl.
And I know I’m only 17, I’m young… But right now, I just wish he was here. First love always hurts the most, right?
I don’t know what to do… Letting go feels so difficult to do right now. All I want is having him..
admin
November 17, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Keep holding out and sticking to NC is the best I got for you right now.
Ashley
November 16, 2013 at 4:03 am
Hi Chris!
I NEED your advice! My situation is so messed up I’m starting to lose hope. My ex and I were together for 3 years when we had a baby and broke up (2 months after baby)because he didn’t feel like I was giving him enough attention. During the break up we still saw each other everyday, had sex on a regular basis and still told each other that we loved each other. That lasted 4 years! We finally got back together, he moved in a year later and everything was good. I got pregnant again and one day I came home and all his things were gone. Granted we were arguing a lot at the time, but I was pregnant! He said he didn’t feel like I appreciated him and he was feeling fustrated and stressed with the new responsiblity of a second kid. So I cut communication with him as much as possible and enjoyed the rest of my pregnancy. So now I’ve had the baby and he comes over everyday on his lunch break to see the baby while I’m home on maternity leave. This has been going on for about a month. On Monday this week we started talking about me going back to work soon and he said he would miss seeing me and the baby everyday. We started remincing on old times and…we had sex. We have 3 times this week. I don’t want us to fall back into that same cycle that we did last time. He does have a girl that he is seeing casually (as he tells it) but he might have to move in with her once his sublease is up in January. What do I do? I can’t really have no contact because we do have 2 very young children but I also don’t want to give him the benefits of a relationship with me (seeing me everyday, sex, etc…) while he’s with her.
admin
November 16, 2013 at 9:56 pm
Well mayb eyou can do some type of limited contact rule.
Soulmates
November 15, 2013 at 1:30 pm
My ex and I have been friends since we were kids. After his family moved interstate we lost touch for around 10 years until his dad one day came to see mine in hospital where I suggested his sons come to my party to catch up. One came and 3 days later we together… we together for over a year and eventually broke up because he wasn’t sure what he wanted. We remained the best of friends and a few months later when I had a one night stand with someone else he felt that I had cheated on him then wanted me back. We got back together again for another year or so until he broke up with me again because again he didn’t know what he wanted. He had a fling overseas then that didn’t work out but gutted me all the same. Later he started seeing someone who he told me he wasn’t over the moon with but who made him content. That was until he then started complaining about all the things he didn’t like about her. I tried to stay positive around him joking that he was an idiot for leaving me because I did all those things the way he liked it. I did the nc then too without realising that’s what I was doing. During this time though I became close to one of his best friends who helped me get through it all with all my closet depression. When he started noticing we’d gotten close he started to think something had happened and wouldn’t trust me no matter what I said and told me he wanted me to cease all contact like that with him. He broke up with his girlfriend saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I told him he needed to think about whether he really did trust me or not and I would make my decision from there. A week later he came back with “I don’t know” so I told him in that case I think we should not talk to each other for a while. His housemate told me that for the next five days he moped and would constantly just sit and stare at his phone until finally he called insisting despite my protest for just 5mins of my time. We met up, he told me he couldn’t live without me, I told him I’d think about it and let him stew on it a few days and then we got back together. We were together for another year or so again until this time I broke it off telling him that he needs to figure out what he wants. He loves me and I love him. Everyone that knows us says that he is always a better person with me. I fit so well and complement each others strengths and weaknesses so well that it has been tough. We are the best of friends. Now he has started seeing another girl he works with and I’m not coping. For the last two months they text all the time and he tells me she texts him right up until she falls asleep. She currently however lives with her boyfriend who apparently she’s been having trouble leaving. They see each other as often as possible and are sleeping together which I told him I thought was ethically wrong and disrespectful to him and that he deserved better. I equally told him I felt he was being rise to me by texting her so often while we spent time together. 2 weeks ago I took him out for his birthday and half way through he got a text. When I asked what was wrong he said that she had just finished work and that he wanted to see her and if he didn’t go that she would be upset. This hurt a great deal but I let him go and instituted nc. Today he called insisting we have dinner and upset with me because I told him I couldn’t because of work. He wants me to meet this girl and not make judgements so quickly about her cheating because I don’t apparently understand the circumstances so I should give her a chance. I dont know what to do. My gut tells me that he wont really ever realise I’m what he’s looking for till he really feels he’s about to lose me to someone else but I’ve struggled with finding anyone else. What should I do?
admin
November 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm
I say trust your gut.. I think its spot on. You may need to implement some jealousy tactics.
l
November 15, 2013 at 5:55 am
So my bf has an X who seems to b trying everything on him that u hav listed here. It’s almost like she read your page. They haven’t been together for 6 years. She Texts him just like u hav recommended. He usually gives her 1 word answers unless it is in regard to their teenagers. What can I do to stop this? Or negate? I trust him but she is annoying the freaking hell out of me.
admin
November 15, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Hmm… she needs to lay back a little bit. Thats not a good response.
marcia
November 15, 2013 at 5:53 am
My ex and I went out for 7yrs and 2yrs engage he moved out of my flat in april 26 this year we were only apart for 1 mnth and a half and he met this girl they were seeing each other for 2months they met in june my ex and I were still incontact and seeing each other while he ws seeing this girl but I didn’t know about it my ex told this girl that I’m sms him and I dnt want to leave him alone so she stole my number off his daughter ph and hid her no and told me she just cme out of the shower and he just left and that they bn seeing each other for 2months and his g to move in w her and gt engage w her and said to her I’m nt the only one that’s sms he is as well we’ve bn seeing each other while his been seeing you he told me he still loves me so I sd to her if y confront him his g to deny it this carried on for 4months he cme to me one saturday night and told me he ws at a braai with her and she and this guy was eyeing ech other out and when he gt to her house the guy rocked. Up their he also told. Me he slept w me and w another girl and w this girl he ws seeing after that he moved out of her house bt she kept on running after him his mom about a month ago and he ws very vunerable bt he also told me he wsnt ready for a serious relationship he then blocked me on whatsup 5days later he gt engage to her and didn’t be honest w her and tell her that he cheated and lied behind her bck I told her he cheated behind her bck and lied to her how can a man jump from one relationship into another and gt engage to this girl after cheating and lieing and bn dishonest to and to me this relationship is a rebound he doesn’t love her if he did he would never hve done that to me or to her
admin
November 15, 2013 at 7:26 pm
Have you done the NC rule yet?
Jamie
November 14, 2013 at 4:52 pm
Continued..
Yes we had our problems just like anyone else but I never thought it would lead to him walking away from it all. He knows excatly how I feel but he thinks I have moved on. I haven’t though. I still have to face him and see him due to us sharing our child together. He literally has a girlfriend now and it seems serious witch completely broke me down. It’s only been two months. He has left me before and talked to another girl but it wasn’t as serious as it is now. After we broke up the first two weeks I tried to make him see what he was doing. He wanted nothing to do with me. We have a huge past together and the love we have together is real.
I would do anything to get him back again and do things right for the last time. But not sure how to even grasp that. I’ve gotten mad I’ve cried to him done all the wrong things and I feel like it’s too late. He hasn’t always been faithful to me but still has came back to me but this time it’s different. A use he doesn’t text me or anything asking to get together.
I’m very hurt over this and it’s affecting everything I do.
Jamie
November 14, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Hi Chris. Hoping you or someone can help me out.
Tell you a little about the situation. My ex and I were together for almost 5 years. We have 1 child together. We’ve lived together broke up a couple times and always seem to get back together. Two months ago one day woke up and didn’t want me anymore. Yes we had our problems just like any other relati
admin
November 14, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Have you tried any NC rule?
cynthia
November 13, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Hey me and my boyfriend broke up 5 months ago mind you we have been best if friends for 19 yrs. And we were in a relationship for 3 yrs our relationship hit rock bottom in June he left me a week later I come to find out he was seeing someone else .a month later they were together but she lives in p.r. he lives in n.y. they visit each other !. But he tells me he’s still in love with me but he learned to love her . he tells me he misses me and my kids and miss being g
with me but that he’s confused and he feels he’s lost his mind what do I do ?!?
admin
November 14, 2013 at 6:28 pm
Have you tried the NC rule on him yet?
cynthia
November 15, 2013 at 9:46 am
I’ve tried but he’s always calling and texting me so at times I dont want to answer but I always do !
So if I try the NCR does that mean I shouldnt answer him at all..its hard because of thears we have together !!!
Thanks Chris!!
admin
November 15, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Yup thats what it means.