Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
How To Know If An Avoidant Is Using You
Signs An Avoidant Will Come Back After Losing You
Why Avoidants Don’t Want Relationships
Do Avoidants Fight For A Relationship?
An Avoidant Will Feel Instant Regret If You Do This
Signs An Avoidant Is Hiding Deep Feelings For You
Why Avoidants Say Things That Don’t Make Sense
The Weird Things Avoidants Do When They Like You
What Happens To An Avoidant During No Contact?
How A Secure Handles An Avoidant Pulling Away
Post categories
Kaesha
February 4, 2015 at 7:01 pm
Me and my ex boyfriend Steve were together about 9 months we got into one time and he said he wanted to take a break and focus on him and I got upset and went about it the wrong way. so he said he wanted to breakup I did the no contact for about two weeks then apologized to him and he forgave me and we were back on. he started back acting the way he use to and things were going good. I made the mistake of being back clingy with him and always calling and texting him. he seemed to be acting back distant towards me and I asked him whats wrong and he just went into a shell again and wouldn’t talk to me so I left him alone for a week I go on facebook and some girl tagged him in a post saying they were in a relationship 2 days ago im extremely heartbroken and I do want him back ive been calling him a lot trying to talk but he keeps ignoring me what should I do I really want him back
admin
February 5, 2015 at 3:19 pm
Ok, it looks bad you calling him after their relationship goes public. You do see that, right?
Kaesha
February 5, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Yes I agree it was wrong i was upset and didnt have the self control at the time im jus lost right now and dont know what to do
GIGIBYOUT
February 4, 2015 at 12:07 am
Love this site!
So we’ve been flirting a lot when we see each other, and he finally initiated a talk that he wanted to have with me. He said he’s considering us getting back together more than he was before which to me means progress, because before he was saying he didn’t and wouldn’t want to be with me even if he wasn’t dating his new gf (before the 30 days NC). He also said he REALLY Loves me, I’m his best friend, he wants more babies with me; and since it’s only been 36 days, he did mention us taking more time to see if my improvements are permanent. Also, so we can work on things…Like I said he wasn’t talking like this before. So I plan to go into this making his emotional attraction to me stronger. He already has a hard time keeping his eyes and hands and that other secret part to himself, but he knows I will say no since we are not together. He gave me a few things to work on as well, that he felt would sew things up. I do plan to work on those things asap… I’m in love with this guy, so naturally being distant and doing 30 days of NC was hard but ended up making me less clingy and overall a better person. I’m in love with myself and my new found look, positive energy, happiness, and new career path. I like that I’m no longer bitter or angry and all that dark stuff that comes with break ups. Our kids too are happier even though they miss their father being at home… I just have to find what it is that will make me very irresistible to him and make him want/need to come back and make things work for us and our kids. He likes that I’m out going, outspoken, a joker/humorous, loving, caring, beautiful inside and out…etc But I’m picking up now that since we aren’t arguing or throwing low blows at each other, and I’m calm, and closer to his family more than ever; he’s thinking about me MORE because like I said HE was the one who wanted to talk about “US”. Before the NC it was me who initiated those talks. The conversation went very well and he even told his mom we had a really good talk, which is rare. His mom does still tell me to continue to focus on myself and our kids because a man will notice when you aren’t available for their every want and need and then want to come around. Plus he’s still with the new gf and I shouldn’t be focusing on that… He will be coming to see our kids Sunday for a couple of hours, any suggestions??? I thought about asking him to dinner in a few weeks and/or to take our kids to the science center?? I feel so close and yet so far from having him back in me and our kids lives…. However, I can sense that he wants to come back to me but he just wont for whatever reason. I’m going to stay calm though, but I would like to know if what I plan to do next is a good idea. Which is attracting him emotionally and also inviting him to do something…. Thanks in advance!
admin
February 4, 2015 at 2:15 pm
Glad you love it!
I like your plan!
GIGIBYOUT
February 4, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Great, thank you!
Swetha
February 3, 2015 at 12:46 am
I have a ex bf who loved me four years. we are in four years of relationships. I mistaken him and broke up with him cause he had new gf. but the thing was not true. I accidentally trust my friends word and I did fight with ex. and then he tried to talk with me he add me in fb and find my number. but I didn’t reply him as usual and I lied him that I had bf. he trust my words and now he have another gf. I found it after one year brake up. I really wanted him back. he still texted me even he had gf. he still keep my pictures. I really angry and finally asked him you have gf so why you still texting me. I ask him to love me back and forget all. he refused and he said he had new gf already. how can I make my ex to love me again
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:31 pm
Well, begging for him to isnt the way to go.
You need to attack this from a position of strength.
Valaina
February 1, 2015 at 7:25 pm
Hey 🙂 can you please help me?
My ex boyfriend and I were in a 7 year on/off relationship. He broke up with me three month ago and said, he really wanted to marry me because I am the love of his life but we are too diffrent for example: religion, culture.
After two months he went to visit his family and met a girl there. He is posting pictures of her everywhere and telling his friends she is the one. She is perfect for me etc. When I asked him if that was true, he kept lying and he said he dosent have a girlfriend (but his best friend told me he is lying, he just dosent want to hurt my feelings). I was so hurt, that after five days he is saying she is the one (she has the same religion, culture etc.) that I told him i don’t wanna have contact with him anymore. he came ove to give me my stuff and kept telling me he loves me and i am the love of his live (but still lying about the new woman) he even kissed me and slept with me and kept telling me all night long, that i am the love of his live and he is so sad its over and that it didnt work out. Now that i told him I dont wanna have concat with him, is there any chance to still get him back? I know he messed up by lying to me but I love him so much. Pls help me!!!
(sorry for my english, I’m from Vienna)
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:26 pm
Your english is fine!
There is still a chance but you have to be willing to do the NC rule.
Valaina
February 1, 2015 at 7:30 pm
I fotgot to say that she is his sisters best friend and she is a model :/ and they are all telling him to marry her. In theyre culture if you meet a girl and she meets yout family than you have/should (to) marry her. I don’t think she is a rebound, because his familiyis involved. his sister was the one that intraduced them and everyone is calling him brother in law etc. (but he is still lying and saying she is just a friend but posting pictures of her in his facebook)
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:25 pm
Thats a strange culture…
I guess I am too americanized haha.
Natalia
February 1, 2015 at 3:05 pm
Hi Chris, I really need your help. Me and my ex had been dating for moreless a year. We broke up in September. The reason was simple: I was his 1st love so he probably wanted to experience more before he settle down. He said he didn’t feel like at the beginning of our relationship. I was so sad, the relationship we had was srsly amazing, we had just small fights, we had the same taste in music, food, we had common friends, we knew each other’s parents, the love we shared was passionate and strong. But then suddently this happened and we broke up. After some time I met a guy and we started dating.I really wanted to move on since my ex hurt me a lot. unfortunately, the more I was with him, the more I realized I still liked my ex. When my ex found out I was not single, he went totally mad. He unfriend me on FB and texted my friends if it was really true and stuff. That was in November. In December, we met on the New Year’s Eve. He didn’t even talk to me, he was freezing outside the house until I left.. However, at 5am he texted me, drunk. When I replied the other day, he was kinda cold. 2 days later he texted my again, on his bday. He said that for his bday he wished us to keep in touch normally. He said that he wanted to stay friends, that he didn’t want to make things worse. 3 weeks later we met on the ball. He invited me for a drink and we talked for more than hour. By this time I was not with that guy I dated anymore and on this ball I decided to tell my ex at least a bit of the truth. He cleared some things up and we explained each other some things. It was really nice.. Then he finally add me on FB and texted me. Unfortunately, I found out he his kinda seeing someone. That girl is from his class, they’ve known each other for over 3 years! He always told me things about her that were not much nice, like no insults but still. He always considered her as a friend, he even told me many times she is not attractive. They are not official, they didn’t even tell anyone, like if it was a secret. Our common friend find out by accident and she doesn’t understand this either. She said he was definitely not it love with her because she is sure he still likes me.. That girl is completely different than he is- and Im not saying it as an ex girlfriend that still likes his ex- but as someone who knows him perfectly. I hope she is just a rebound because I just know he doesn’t love her, they are in the same class everyday, they are not official and they are just so so different..I wonder what shall I do to finally make him realize we should give it another try..It’s shame how it ended- which he said aswell, as well as that I’m simply special to him…What should I do? Is there still a chance?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:13 pm
NC is a great way to start!
Even if he does have a new girlfriend.
Also, have you read version 2.0 of this article?
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend-version-2-0/
Natalia
February 3, 2015 at 4:51 pm
Sure, we’ve all heard this, NC thank you, I’ll try my best!:). But do you think that there’s still a chance and that this is a rebound?
admin
February 4, 2015 at 1:59 pm
There absolutely is!
Lise
February 1, 2015 at 3:26 am
First of all, thank you for helping us out. my story is i broke up with my bf as we used to fight a lot, he ws the jealous type n cudnt accept wen even i was trying to be friendly wid a guy tat i hd rejected. Our fights got real bad tat eventually i got fed up n broke up wid him. At dat tym smeone else came to my life n supported me to face all probs i was hving in life n we started dating shortly after. My ex bf (didnt kno abt my new relationship) was devastated abt the break up n tried a lot to convince me to get bck bt i didnt giv in didnt kept any contact. After much time, i heard dat he got a new gf n has moved, dis has shattered me completely n all the pain he went thru, im nw going thru dat. i seemd to hv forgot all the reasons y iv dumped him n cud only remember the good times we hd together. All this time i was fine until i heard abt dat new girl. Am i hving the ‘i want wat i cant hv’ syndrome? Is my new bf a rebound relationship? Pls help me since i cnt stop thinking abt my ex despite being wid my new bf nw
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:00 pm
Is your new boyfriend a rebound?
You should know that better than me haha.
Generally speaking if you are asking if your new bf is a rebound its not good… I will just add that in.
Anne09
February 1, 2015 at 12:09 am
me and my ex boyfriend broke up last month of 2014, like dec.5 probably, but we dont have any closure,or we haven’t talk yet. Unfortunately after a week of breaking up, someone told me that he had alteady a new girl friend, im so hurt,like thinking she doesn’t love me anymore, im the first one who break up with him,but later on i realize that i love him , but when i came back he already have a girlfriend, you can call it a rebound relationship? Or its just that his over me… When iI know that he already have a girlfriend, i stop contacting him, but within a week after i stop texting him, he text me once in a while, but one day i realize to reply in his text bcoz i tot he wants to have a closure, but unfortunately he told me he wants to borrow money but i dont lend him a money.. y is he like that? But still i love him, and i want him back..hahahaiii
admin
February 2, 2015 at 1:52 pm
Have you attempted the NC on him yet?
Ella
January 29, 2015 at 6:42 am
My boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago. He wanted me back for a good 6 months then I finally turned around and told him that I wanted him back as well. This is when he told me that he had a girlfriend which he went out with before me. He told me he didn’t really love her like he did with me. They are still together and I see him once every so often and text regularly.
He is extremely confusing and i’ve been with other guys since and know that he is who I really want. He has been with his girlfriend for 4 months now…I don’t know if I should approach the situation by saying this is your last chance, or confess my feelings, or what??
admin
January 29, 2015 at 3:13 pm
Have you read version 2.0 of this article?
There might be some other good insight there.
hope
January 26, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Me and boyfriend of 3 years broke up two weeks ago for alot reasons. Well everything blow up when he went out one friday he didn’t want to come home (we live together). I texted and he lied and said he was going to an after party and then I realized his tablet was missing. Why would he neef his tablet to go to a party. I just knew he was with a woman. I started calling and texting him like a mad crazy woman I didn’t know what else to do. Then I openned his email and saw hotel reservation for Saturday night I hot to the hotel before he did. And then he showed up with another woman. I yelled anf screamed as she sat in the car. He explained to that out house is a prison and that he s not coming home and that he s not happy. I do everything for this man, I take care of him. Another problem he s Ethiopian and im african American it s it feels like he hides me from his family and friends. He chose to keep our life separate from his family and friends. So if he lived me and is with me then of course it feels like a prison. A prison he made on his own I would have love to spend more time with his family and friends.
If getting back together is possible, I would like for him to have a new mindset where im added to he s life not him tearing up his life to be with. I’m doing my part im not angry anymore and I plan to never scream or yell at him again. I like the idea of creating a new and improved relationship. And I’m having with the no contact rule because he is in the process of moving out and he id taking me for my surgery tomorrow. And I already made the decision that I won’t let him see me crying and upset anymore. I want him to come back because he loves me not because he feels sorry for me.
thanks
admin
January 27, 2015 at 2:41 pm
Yes, the new and improved relationship is definitely ideal.
Do everything you can to not cry or show you are very affected by him.
Mana Zee
January 26, 2015 at 7:41 am
Hi. My boyfriend and i were together for 1 year and today he told me that he got a new gf. He told me he only broke up because of the distance between us since we never met and were only in a long distance relationship. He said he only got the girl so that she can be with him for hugs and all physical affections. He said that he will start everything new with me when i do get there. He want s to stay as best friends. What should i do? Should i continue to send me good morning messages and communicate with him? I really want him back. Please help 🙁
admin
January 26, 2015 at 4:25 pm
Hi Mana, Long distance relationships can be very difficult. I know from personal experience as my wife and I were in a long distance relationship before we got married. You will have to figure out how you will be able to see him and ultimately move closer to each other for this to work out. I would say go into no contact for 30 days and read the post: The Complete Guide to Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back if you are in a LDR.
positive
January 22, 2015 at 6:18 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend in oct, was living with him for 5 yrs. I left to go to another state to get away and help out a family member. I didn’t contact him. he contacted me.. Plus he was tracking me by phone.. as we share the same plan.. one week before i told him i was coming home.. he got a new girlfriend.. tells his friends he is happy and in love. my stuff is still there and when i got back i stayed with a friend. spoke to him and told him if he was happy with her i wish him the best.. went back to the place i first went to to get my car.. we have spoke 3 times..we had a great talk.. i have tried to call and text him.. he has shut me off.. and i also found out he went to a web site called social man for help..he will not return my calls or text. I love him and want to get him back.. what advice do you have for me.
admin
January 23, 2015 at 4:11 pm
What is social man?
What type of website is that?
positive
January 23, 2015 at 5:11 pm
not sure, just know its a site to help men get confidence and get women.
emily
December 22, 2014 at 11:10 pm
Hello my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me in beginning of November of this year he has some pretty severe emotional problems. this is the reason he broke up with me the last few weeks were bad and he didn’t want to hurt me any more.
he has been over a few times and we have talked and txted he doesn’t want to talk about about us and what happened he has also said a few times we break up and always get back together he has also said he didn’t think the break up thru and that he loves me misses me and has cried several times in front of me
on one occasion he let it be known he has a friend with benefits and he doesn’t want anything emotional and its just sex he wont talk about it either but lately they are always together so it might has moved to a different status the new girl has a habit of trying to fix her men( she is going to be a shrink and he needs one) and he has some big issues.
the problem is i want him back (did some soul searching and it is him i want back not just to be in a relationship) and he is scattered everywhere i don’t know what to do
admin
December 23, 2014 at 3:15 pm
Wait he has a friends with benefits or you are the friends with benefits?
emily
December 23, 2014 at 7:42 pm
he has a friends with benefits and it is not me
admin
December 29, 2014 at 2:24 pm
Hmm… That is sad to hear.
It says a lot about him as a person…
emily
December 30, 2014 at 12:34 am
he isn’t a bad person just very confused he has alot of mental problems .
how do i get him back
meriem
December 20, 2014 at 6:18 pm
hey chris plz i really want your help on this one.so my boyfriend broke up with me last july after that we were on and off till one day we had a big fight and i did no contact for 2 months in which he didn’t contact me at all after that i began texting as you recomand he was neutral and then positive and then negative.i added him on fb we talked but he was sending mixed signals sometimes he get angry because i talked to other boys other times he don’t talk to me like these to days he puts me off line and when i said why he said that’s not true i called him the other night but he didn’t respond and i started to think that he has a new girl but when i asked him he said no and then te second time he didn’t say anything the third time was yesterday he said i will tell you someday.what the hell is he doing is he playing mind games with me why he don’t want to tell the truth if he had another girl.what do think chris should i do no contact again and if i did should i delete him from my fb because you said i should vanish and i can’t do that if he’s still a friend on fb with me.help me chris plzz
Emelie
December 12, 2014 at 4:20 am
Hi Chris!
I really need your help,
Way back in February I met a guy at a party and he thought I was interested in him because I was really drunk and desperate for a cuddle so anyways he asked my friends for my number and he texted me that he wanted to see me. We met maybe 2-3 times and then one night he smashed his lips onto mine and started making out, awkward as I am I made him stop and questioned the entire situation and he confessed his feelings for me. I felt confused and told him that I’m not sure if I feel the same but deep down I thought he was attractive and everything but we ended up not talking to each other the entire summer. Recently I moved school and to my surprise he moved to the same school as me and I found out that he’s dating the girl from my Spanish class and I really miss him and regret my decision and I’m still unsure if it’s just because I want something that I can’t have or if I’ve developed real feelings for him, I have literally no idea what to do he stares at me in the corridors and last weekend I met him and he said he missed me. Please help me 🙁
Paige
December 12, 2014 at 3:55 am
Well I need some help because I have no Idea what I should do because I really want him back…. Can we talk about this privetly?? Please
Jessica
December 11, 2014 at 11:37 pm
Hello Chris,
Me and my boyfriend have been broken up a little more than a year, and I was wondering why he still hasn’t said anything to me that he has a girlfriend. He hasn’t posted anything on his facebook or whatsapp that gives me the impression he has a gf. We see each other at the gym and we talk from time to time. One day, I overheard him say ‘my girlfriend’ (without him knowing I heard). And whenever I would ask him about his weekend…he always would say he went out with the ‘guys’ or ‘nothing much’. So why hide it if we are okay with each other?
Jane
December 2, 2014 at 3:58 pm
Hello Chris, I really need your help. I’d like to tell you my story and ask you for an advice, could we do it privately please? I’d be so happy, I need you..Is it possible? By an email or something?
admin
December 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm
Sure, shoot me an email.
chris@exboyfriendrecovery.com
T-Rex
December 2, 2014 at 12:23 am
Hi I need some serious help my friend! Over the summer I had a bit of a relationship with my best guy friend, he liked me and I liked him but we never officially dated because I had another boyfriend who I used to try and get him jealous, which I know was totally stupid and unneeded. Anyways, we flirted all summer and he admitted his feelings for me after me and my boyfriend broke up. Everything was going great until my parents (I’m a minor) found out that I cut myself and totally eliminated contact with this boy because they thought he was a ad influence. when school started we didn’t have classes together and I don’t see him at all, recently I found out he has a girlfriend. My best girlfriend told me this and said he still loves me. Whenever I go into his class, everyone will say “Hey that’s the girl he likes!” but then others will say “I thought he had another girlfriend.” WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?
admin
December 2, 2014 at 2:58 pm
Well, if it has been 30 days you can go ahead and initiate contact with him.
However, make sure you have yourself sorted out. The cutting is very alarming and I noticed you said you were a minor. I hope this guy is not way older than you.
Christine
December 2, 2014 at 12:14 am
Hello Chris,
My ex and I have broken up after 8 years of being together. We were in a long distance relationship for the last 4 years. We lived an hour and a half from each other. Sadly, the last 4 months we were fighting and frustrated with each other that he broke up with me for another girl. They got together 1 week after we broke up. I tried to talk to him a day after he broke up with me but he said he made his decision and we could be friends. I was devastated but wanted to be in his life to win him back.he called me once a week and we talked. My parents told me that it wasn’t healthy to do that and blocked his number from my phone. That upset him and he blocked mine even though I ended up getting him unblocked. I haven’t contacted to let him know that he was unblocked because I read your no contact rule.it’s been 8 days and I am not sure what to do.I feel that with more time that passes I am losing relevance and an opportunity to win him back. Any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated.
admin
December 2, 2014 at 2:57 pm
4 years LDR and no serious moves to get closer together permanantely?
Christine
December 2, 2014 at 5:38 pm
We have talked about it after I finished school we would find a way to be together.I graduate in June and we never really talked about much until he broke up with me. He said he didn’t want to go back to the way it use to be. I told him that it wouldn’t and he didn’t want to try. He called me once a week for three weeks even though he is officially with some on else. the last time we talked he blocked me from his phone. However, not on facebook or email. His parents are always checking on me and telling me to stay in touch with them.
Christine
December 6, 2014 at 7:08 pm
I emailed him to let him know he wasn’t blocked anymore. I kept it short and sweet. I said, I hope all is well and finals are too. I wanted to let you know I removed the block. I hope we can stay in touch and maybe be friends. Take care. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to email me back because he blocked me from his phone. I was surprised he replied. He replied back 3 days later and said I really think we shouldn’t be friends. It won’t work out. What should I do? I am not going to contact him for at least 30 days, maybe do the full 90. I want him in my life even if that means just being his friend. Please any advice would mean the world to me.
Christine
December 19, 2014 at 4:49 pm
After receiving his email from my ex saying we shouldn’t be friends it won’t work. I got an email yesterday from him asking if I was going to call him on his birthday. I haven’t made any contact with him or his family for two weeks. Should I call him on his birthday? Is this a good sign?
brittany
November 30, 2014 at 5:24 pm
Hi Chris, I just got out of a relationship a couple months ago. I had met my boyfriend about a year ago and we instantly hit it off, we started things slow as friends and then it was so sudden realizing we were meant to be. Things were perfect neither of us had been so happy before and then we moved in together, this was about 4 months later. So we were living together about 5 months and things had gotten rocky, he doesn’t know how to handle situations or confrontation in general because of his abuse childhood. And he has a tough time with feeling loved and accepted. So we had been fighting some while living together and during this time he was texting other girls and sending pictures in an effort to “Feel loved”, this is no excuse it was wrong and from then on there were just fights and a distance between us. Its frustrating because things were so perfect. I ended up moving out, and in this time i was hoping to still fix things, he was distant didn’t want to “deal ” with anything, didn’t want to fight, just wanted everything to blow over. Now its almost been 3 months that ive been moved out. a few weeks after i moved out we started seeing eachother a bit and then i got “pushy” and he cut it off again. At this time we went maybe 3 days without talking and we’ve texted even if its a short “have a good day” every day since. I started seeing him again recently this past month. It’s different though i can tell he doesn’t feel the same way and its probably because i’ve still been so attached, and he knows i’m just right there. He can text me , i’ll respond, he can do whatever he wants, he can not text me, and when he does i’ll still be right there. Part of me thought things were going to fixed or that they would blow over , but here i am 3 months later, still not over things and i have a very hard time not contacting him because of fear that he WILL move on to someone else. Its scary, i feel the second i ignore him for one or two days he’ll just be gone. I’m sick of being battered, sick of being treated like shit , sick of being walked all over. I really am it’s very hard and i love this person so much. I have a hard time believeing hes over everything, but at the same time i feel like he’s only still texting me because he feels bad for me? But if that’s the case he probably shouldn’t still be a dick because it still hurts. Please help me, i want to fix this. And i don’t believe theres zero hope, i’m very afraid of the no contact because i’ve ALWAYS been right there, what if he sees it and instantly gravitates to someone else. I’m sure he’s talking to other people but i don’t know if hes taken the initiative to start actually seeing them yet.
I would really appreciate some solid advice.
Thank you chris
admin
December 1, 2014 at 3:34 pm
What kind of pictures was he sending?
Sexual ones?
Go right into NC.