How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Josey

March 8, 2015 at 11:32 pm

Hello, I am in need of some help, obviously. My boyfriend and I were together for 2 1/2 years and were very close. Around the 1 1/2 year mark we went through some changes and began getting in meaning bless fights. Towards the end of this relationship, it seemed that we were beating the dead horse regularly discussing whether or not we should stay together. About a week prior to the break up he was crying!!! Had told me that he knew he would be making a mistake losing me, someone that would always be faithful, and was the best thing to ever happen to him.. Texting me the next morning letting me know that he knew I was the one. A week later we got in an argument, he didn’t text me he loved me when saying goodnight, he didn’t text me good morning or talk to me the whole day.. So finally I texted him and he told me he didn’t think he could do us anymore and he had been thinking about it for months.. Of course, I did all the wrong things including begging and pleading which didn’t work.. Duh and then I found out he had tried to contact his ex…… The next day I texted him and apologized for my wrong doings in the relationship and that really didn’t get me anywhere.. We went about a week without talking and then we talked again and things seemed to be okay until I brought up us and if he missed me and he retreated and just wanted to get off the phone. I’m in a place where I feel if I don’t try I’ll lose him and if I try too hard the same but I can’t shake the feeling that we are meant to be, I feel it in my faith and heart but everyone else seems to think I should just not talk to him for awhile and leave him alone. Help please!
Josey
Hannah

March 8, 2015 at 6:39 pm

Hi Chris! My ex is with a new girl and has been with her for about 4 months. He’s in college with his new girlfriend and I’m in my senior year of high school, so theres distance between us, literally. We began talking again this past week, but it’s very short because he says he’s “busy.” I read many of your articles to get him back, but I still need some guidance from you. I really want him back and I’ll be attending the same college (I didn’t pick the college because Of him) as him this Fall of 2015, but I’m nervous that he and his new girlfriend will still be together by the time of I get to college. He says she is different from me and feels something completely different with her than he has in any relationship. He tells me he cares for me since we were together for 3 years before but he says he loves her, but we hooked up yesterday. Plus, the new girlfriend doesn’t want him talking to me but he is. What do I make out of all of this? Ahhhh. It’s complicated and I really need your guidance! Thank you!

admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:34 pm

It means the new girlfriend is threatened by you or scared of a reconnection.
Hannah

March 14, 2015 at 3:52 am

Hi Chris! Thank you so much for your response. What do you think my chances are of reconnecting since he’s in this new relationship? And what should I do to try to get him interested in me/ desperately want me back again? Thank you for your time! I know you have a lot of comments to respond to
admin

March 15, 2015 at 4:36 pm

Its lower than normal I won’t lie but I have helped guide plenty of women in your situation so its possible.
Hannah

March 16, 2015 at 2:15 am

Okay! Well I asked him if he is still with her and he said, “mhm” which was then followed by “I think.” I asked him what he meant by that and he said “we are.” I asked him why he said that and he said “idk.” I think since he responded with the “I think” and “idk” he was trying to hint at something, but then again I could just be making something out of nothing. Our conversations have become a little more in depth rather than one-worded answers and a questions. What do you think? Thank you again!
Hannah

March 18, 2015 at 1:25 am

Hi Chris! So, my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend broke up over the past 2 weeks. I think she’s completely done with him since she ended it. However, my ex boyfriend is really hurt over it. He says he loves her and is even going to counseling. I’m trying to help him and also reconnect our relationship, but it’s hard because he’s so hurt and doesn’t want to talk to me. What should I do? I’m lost! Thank you!

beyza

March 8, 2015 at 7:24 am

so he dumped me for no reason at all and didnt even say he wants break up. everything was going great. in fact the last time we met he introduced me to his friends and showed them that he loved me very much. after that day he ditched me twice and said he is busy. which is going out with guy friends. then i sent him text messages that im angry and curious but on his birthday i said i loved him and want reasons why he is doing this he didnt reply. after 4 days he just wrote my name on the text wanting to talk. i saw it a bit late but i replied with a question mark. he didnt reply when he saw it in the morning. what is his problem and how do i stop loving him after he treats me like this?

admin

March 8, 2015 at 3:20 pm

So, would I be right in assuming you don’t want him back?

Kenzie

March 7, 2015 at 4:02 am

Hi be and my ex were together for at least 2 1/2 months then he broke up with me. I’m 13 and it’s been quite a few months now and I still love him but he’s a trouble maker and likes trashy kinda girls but I’m not really like that so how do I get him back I really really like him!!!!?…

Kenzie

March 7, 2015 at 4:02 am

Me*

Britney (again, less emotional this time)

March 7, 2015 at 1:41 am

Hi Chris, back again. The girl who missed the (we think) opportunity to get back with her ex and blew it. 30 Days NC is in 5 days. Am I really supposed to ttext when he seems pretty happy with new girl on Facebook? He and I are both 30, she is eight years younger. Sure, he lists himself as single. Sure, it’s her taking and posting all pictures, but damn it if he doesn’t LOOK happy. My questions:
1. Should I just quit now? I mean, tthey look pretty happy. The girl is buying them ridiculously expensive tickets to basketball games and dressing skimpier with more makeup in every photo. He’s gotta be happier with her, right?
2. If I shouldn’t give up, should the day I contact him be his birthday, 10 days after the 30 day mark?

Britney (again, less emotional this time)

March 7, 2015 at 1:54 am

One more quick thing- she is a major party girl. Is he having fun re-living his frat days? He is divorced only 7 months (wife cheated, I made the mistake of acting as therapist sometimes). Stands to reason he is having a blast partying with her and her friends?

Ellie

March 6, 2015 at 10:47 pm

Hi Chris! Thank you for your website. It is very helpful and impressive. What’s your opinion of this: I was seeing a guy from the summer until he ended it in December. I did a month of no contact, and then I followed your outline of texts (all went well) until I stupidly added in a 2nd jealousy text in the middle of the heart to heart. He ignored me for a week, so I sent him an apology today and said IK that text was bothering him. He responded I should know he’s been dating a girl since December and that’s why he hasn’t been responding.

admin

March 7, 2015 at 6:11 pm

Thanks for visiting!

Hes been dating the new girl for how long?

Also, check out the updated version of this guide.
Ellie

March 8, 2015 at 4:09 am

Not sure, sometime in December (hopefully not 2 timing me). It threw me off. He’s been pretty receptive to my texts, and he came running up to me trying to talk a couple times during NC. I only had 2 more texts before asking to meet up. Should I NC? Go out on some more dates?

Samantha

March 6, 2015 at 8:38 pm

I know that this may sound stupid to people, but I’m really upset as of late. My boyfriend and I dated for 3 months and we extremely happy and loving until the last two weeks. We were picking fights with each other and finding new reasons not to trust each other. We tried talking through our issues, but we couldn’t figure out the main sources of the problem. We decided to break up, to take some time to ourselves and become happy people again. It was extremely hard for me, as I fell so hard for this guy. After a few days, I wanted to talk to him. Not get back together, but just test the waters by having a normal conversation to see if we were on good terms. He seemed alright, he was a little short with me but you could tell that he wanted to talk to me too. A few days after our talk, I had started to realize the reasons for our fighting, once I had figured out what had changed about me and what had changed about him. I got a new perspective on things. I was going to figure out what I wanted to say, and say it to him and maybe talk about the possibility of us reconciling. The day I was going to talk to him about things, I found out that he had began seeing another girl just a few days after we had split. It really hurt, and I talked to my girlfriends about it and they assured me that she was only a rebound, and that he would come back when he realized he missed me.

It’s now been almost a month since the split and it’s harder than ever for me to function. I see him every day, and when we cross paths our eyes lock and neither of us can look away. He’ll slightly smile but as soon as he realizes what he’s doing, he looks away, puts his head down, and leaves. We are friends now, but it seems as if as soon as we get somewhere he always feels the need to bring up this girl he’s with. We’ll be with friends out somewhere, and he’ll look at me, give me a weird look, and then turn to his buddy and start bragging about his girl, always watching me. Everyone says he’s only with her because he wants to make me jealous, and boy is it working.

Everyone has told me he still loves me and that he will come back to me, that this girl is only a fling and it won’t last. But lately it seems like less and less of a fling. I want him back so badly; he’s the last thing on my mind before bed and the first thing on my mind when I wake up. He is the center of my thoughts day in and day out, and whenever I am around him I smile so wide and my knees get weak and there’s this lump in my throat. I feel empty without him. But I don’t know how to win him back. Please please please help.
Julie

March 4, 2015 at 11:04 pm

So I recently broke it off with my boyfriend of 5 months after he confessed that he had been seeing his ex behind my back..(not sure for how long) and there were more secrets between them that he didn’t tell me of.(they have a kid together)…I feel betrayed and pained as he made me believe that he would never go back to his ex after what she did to him….but I still want him to b part of my life…and he confessed to still having feelings for me..though am torn as my trust for him was shattered….before the breakup he had been really cold and distant for 2wks….I want him back still…what should I do?
Darson

March 4, 2015 at 5:25 am

My ex and I only dated for 2 days. He said he broke up with me because his MOM disaproved of the relationship. Also because his friend loves me. >:( He broke up with his girlfriend because he said he “loved” me. :'( We went on a date that night and the next morning he texted me and he left me. 🙁 WHAT IS A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL SUPPOSED TO DO!? I’ve done the NC, and e-mailed him. I even smiled at him at school. Now he’s back with his old girlfriend again, and considers our relationship nothing!! :'( I’ve changed myself, and he is apparently diagnosed to be depressed. NOW EVEN MY BFF LIKES HIM!! >:( PLEASE HELP!! I need some guidence right now. 🙁

admin

March 5, 2015 at 8:37 pm

His MOM?

Seriously… Tell him to grow a pair.

How long have you done NC for?

Ashanti

March 3, 2015 at 11:56 am

So, I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 and a half years. He was my first love, my best friend, and my first everything. Not only did we share mutual friends, but we also shared mutual life goals and plans together; he always said I was the love of his life and vice versa, and he genuinely treated me like a good man is suppose to treat his woman.

We broke up last February, because his mum (out of the blue after 3 years in) did not approve of him dating a girl of colour (he is Vietnamese) , and gave him an ultimatum that it’s either he breaks up with me, or he will be disowned by his mum. (You have to take into account that his mother has only come back into his life 4 years ago, so it’s quite a delicate part of his life). His mum told him this 6 months before he told me this revelation of us breaking up, so I felt really confused and almost betrayed that he never thought to tell me much sooner. I didn’t have any doubts about our relationship, we had arguments here and there but nothing to break up over-like most healthy relationships.

In addition, we were still seeing each other behind his mum’s back, up until December just gone. Eventhough it’s been just over a year now since we officially broke up, I’m still in love with him. He has started dating a few girls now, I’m not sure if he has started a relationship with any of them as we are no longer in contact with one another. He said that he just cannot be with me because of his mum, and that ever since she got in the way and imposed her narrow minded views, he just cannot love me the way I want him too. I tried reasoning with him and pleading, but nothing has worked. I just feel hopeless, I don’t understand how someone can just suddenly disconnect with another due to an external factor when we were genuinely happy.

please shed some light.
anonymous

March 3, 2015 at 5:02 am

I was with my ex for 2 and a half years… it’s been three and a half months since we’ve broken up. He said he just wanted me to move on and be happy because he’s moved on and happy with someone else and all I’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy even if it wasn’t with me..because I love him deeply. So I did what he said would make him happy and I started dating someone new, it’s been two months with him not but I’m not happy he’s “in love” with me…but I’m really not feeling it I hate pretending. I keep having these constant flashbacks and breakdowns I have to lie to my bf at times because I can’t help when a song, smell, sound word phrases ..I can’t help when things make memories flood back and … will this ever stop. Will it ever get better. I’m tired of being lied to I just can’t take this anymore. I’m in love with him and it’s tearing me apart inside and out not being with him and seeing him with another girl doing the same things we did. I just feel like I’m suffocating.

admin

March 3, 2015 at 10:06 pm

Well, don’t string this guy along…

Break up with him and set him loose and work to just get your feelings together before you date again.

BJ

March 3, 2015 at 4:52 am

Hi, my bf and I broke up over a year ago after dating for 13 months. He told me he wanted to marry me 8 months into the relationship but then unfortunate circumstances led to our breakup. I couldn’t find the words to tell him I was in love with him and I think that’s the reason he left me. Now he’s dating a gird 10 years younger than him (he’s 30). I thought it was a rebound but it’s lasted for over 8 months now and they just started adding each others relatives on FB. I’m afraid I’ve lost him forever.

admin

March 3, 2015 at 10:03 pm

Just because they are adding relatives?

I don’t think that age gap is going to work out in the long run…

Read my article on age gaps.
BJ

March 8, 2015 at 6:00 pm

Yeah, I panicked. I’m just a bit lost on what to do. Last month he told me still cared about me but not in the same way as before. I’m sure that’s because of the new girl.
Britney

March 4, 2015 at 5:27 am

Hi, me again (hope that’s ok; you are a BIG help!)
My ex is 30 dating a girl 8 years younger. He is FB friends with her friends but she doesn’t have his. They’ve been together a little over a month, but he still says “single”
But, they look so happy in all of the pics she posts and tags (her girlfriends have posted a few, too).He isn’t at all her “type” when you see pics of past boyfriends and I am suspicious she is with him for his money (that is worrisome- even if he doesn’t want to be with me, he should be with someone who is with him for the right reasons! I don’t want to reveal too much, but he is in a high status position and she works as an “assistant” to people with his type job. It is kind of stereotypical, but girls with her job often “go after” guys with his job). 30 days NC is coming up, but I am terrified that he is really happy with her and will blow me off. What do I do???

Jessica

March 3, 2015 at 12:10 am

Mine is a tricky one but I am in need of desperate help. I met my bf on FB ever since then we have been dating in a long distance relationship for 4 years . We planned to get married even chose the name of our babies but we finally decided I was going to move to where he lives and I started being very mean to him almost as If I hated him for having to move and leave my family behind . Just before moving one day he told me it was over and the next day he told me he already had someone else. He says he hates me and does not love me anymore but I love him with all my heart what should I do?

admin

March 3, 2015 at 9:54 pm

Two things come to mind right here.

1. Rebound.
2. He is dating the new girl to irk you on purpose.

betty

March 2, 2015 at 9:35 am

hi,i dated this guy for four months.i loved him and still do though i found out the mother to his late son is back and he never told me about it.he was so supportive,responsible and caring.what do i do coz i dont want to loose him completely.i went to his house to find out if the other woman is thea and he got so furious that he is not talking to me.what do i do?

admin

March 2, 2015 at 10:07 pm

Was he cheating on you?

Or did he have the other woman there after the breakup?

AI

March 2, 2015 at 7:01 am

Hi I was with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. We kinda split up in July and that’s when he met the girl he’s with now. We got back together in August and he left me the end of January. And now he’s moved in with this new girl. It kills me because he’s been wanting to move in with me but I refused because he would go on disappearing acts. I also got really sick this past November. I was put on medication which made me gain weight and swell up. All this happened at once. I’m still going through my sickness and I feel like he kicked me while I was down. I did call and text him and beg him back and I know I made myself look like a fool. I’m so depressed I really miss him. The new girl he’s with is real trash. Got her kid taken away from cps and is on drugs has no job and is just a real waste. What should I do? I Know he’s a jerk but I really love him. I wish I could make him come back.

admin

March 2, 2015 at 10:00 pm

That new girl hes with… If she really is that bad it will blow up in his face.

Just sit back and wait.

But one thing. If he is willing to date that trashy girl then are you sure you want him back?

Lynnie

March 1, 2015 at 6:34 pm

My ex and I were together for 3 and a half years. She had always been in a relationship, never single for more than a month. We split up because I was learning self love and realized that I deserved more from the relationship. I had taught her that being single is strength and constantly looking for someone to fill that void just shows that she is unhappy with herself that she needs another person to validate her self worth. I cut all contact for 1 month in hopes that she would work on her independence and deserve what I have to offer. After that month, I found out she is seeing someone new. She always defends this girl and their relationship… ITS BEEN A MONTH!!! But she claims to still be single. Just already hopelessly devoted. Does this mean she truly has moved on? I have broken down and cried to her, told her true love is wanting the best for her. I went through being angry and insulting this new relationship. I want her, but a brand new relationship with freedom and without control. I know that what I say to her truly touches her but what can I say? How can she treat me as less than a girl whom she barely knows? Could she be forcing the relationship because she simply doesn’t want to be with me?

admin

March 2, 2015 at 9:15 pm

Question, are you a guy trying to get a girl back?

Lisa

February 28, 2015 at 8:26 pm

Hi, thanks for helping us!
My bf broke up with me on this valentines,14 days now. A friend of mine, told me he saw him with a girl in a party the day before ( I couldn’t go because I had to work ), so I text him telling him that. He got crazy and end the relationship just like that, with a whatsapp message to me. ‘DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE, ITS OVER” I am heart broken because I think he was seeing this girl from a long time, he said to me that he didn’t have to give me any explanation , so I guess they are having an affair. The only think I need to know is why he didn’t even say sorry. we were fine and I never suspect he was cheating. He always said that he loves me and I just don’t understand why he was saying to me that very same day” I love you, happy Valentine” and in the afternoon after my coment he broke up with me. why he was lying to me in that way….. I just don’t get it.
He always say to me that I was important and a big partner, that we were so good together, and now this…. I don’t get it, he doesn’t want to talk to me. and I sent him a message asking why and he said. ” don’t try to contact me again, otherwise I will block you from my whatsapp. He took me out of FB too…
I am sad and I don’t know what to do.
Please help me.
Ps. my friend has seem him with her a few times now. I haven’t ask anymore. but I think I deserve an explanation after 2 years.
Thanks
ariana

February 27, 2015 at 9:47 pm

me and my ex have been dating for 5 years then a mouth after valentines day we broke up cuz he had cheated on me even though five days later he said he still had loved me i toke him back 1 year later he cheated again we stayed friends then after 1 mouths we became fwb (friends with benefits) then i started home schooled 2 mouths later i came back and we started talking again and became friends but……. now he has a girlfriend and I’ve been crushing on him ever seance i came back
alexis

February 27, 2015 at 10:35 am

I been seeing a person for 3 years off and on. I love this man we been through a lot ups and downs like some couples. But recently last week I was in the hosptial I’ll couldn’t contact him nor did he even call me I called a few days later to see how he was I said ur not talking to me now? He like I’m talking to u know so before I could say I was in the hospital he rushed me off the phone I called at 8:30 am. So I texted him I was upset he couldn’t give me 5 or 10 mins. We I had to call a friend to pick me up I couldn’t drive. So me and my kids went his and his wife’s home I feel asleep well I didn’t know what had happened til a few days later the friend of mine doesn’t like the man I was seeing so he took it upon himself to respond to my text msgs telling my bf ” your dead to me don’t call or text me your out my life. ”
I have no clue so I’m texting and calling and get no response I had to block my number just to get him still no answer so
I had to go to work it was snowing my van isn’t drivable so my friend wife let me drive hers I lost control now I’m back in the hospital I contacted him so on so. He finally picked up after using her cell we had bad words he was cold didn’t answer my questions. I asked him well if I died tomorrow would u care he said yes but it didn’t seem real finally he said don’t call me or text I still don’t know why he would not say he knows I have deep feelings for him all he kept a saying is I’m dead to u remember delete my number I moved on ect like what are u talking about the 3 years we been together I have never said that I have never turned my back on him all the things he put me through I been there noatter what. No he’s blocked me turned his phone completely off. I talked to his best friend after I told him what happens he like so u didn’t send the msgs I said no why would I do that I love him but it seems hopeless I don’t want to loose him but he walked away from me when I did nothing to him he doesn’t want to be friends at all. Three years is hard to let go for me its the longest relationship I been in.
phasis #confused.
Barbara

February 26, 2015 at 3:02 pm

Hi Chris, I was dating a guy at work for 6 mths and he ended it saying the old line “it’s not you its me” . Emotionally he wasn’t ready and didn’t know what he wanted and in my opion was scared. We’ve been split up now for 6 mths. About 3 or 3 mths after the split he is now seeing someone else and says that he is ready now which hurts as I was the one that opened his heart up. I only found this out a couple of months ago which broke my heart all over again and managed to tell him how I really felt about him which I couldn’t before because I was afraid he would run away…I know maybe a little too late. He did tell me then that he did love me but he never told me that when we were seeing each other. The other thing was that I could never say that he was my boyfriend as nothing was ever talked that we were official, even though we were seeing each other exclusively. We still have regular contact daily over the phone and by email as we work together for the same company but I don’t see him often as he only comes into the office only once or twice a month so the no contact rule is hard. Some people tell me I need to move on but how do you do that when deep in your heart you know you are perfect together, and the one he is with can’t give him what he deserves and what I can give him. Is there any hope on trying to win him back and make him realise I’m the one for him. Your advice would be appreciated.

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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”