How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Sam

October 10, 2015 at 8:27 pm

HELP. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He has lots of problems with this family. But still we would see each other often, and he would be really caring and loving. We had a fight because he would always come with 3-4 hours late to your meeting, and I told him it was disrespectful. From that point, he erased me from fb, rejected all my calls and ignored all my texts. He ended texting me “yeah we are over. bye”. I went to his place and he refused to open the door or even talk to me. I want him back, I don’t know what do you…
Isabella

October 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm

does no contact make sense after he blocked you on his phone?
Peace

October 6, 2015 at 4:11 pm

My ex boyfriend and I together for 4 years. He broke up with me around end of August. During the break up, he said he had no feelings towards me and he even said that I keep argue with every small little things, in future with bigger issue, he said I will make it worst.
After I read your articles and many more, I realised I am a high sensitivity girl. I made all the mistakes that you have listed, the GNAT and many more.
After the break up, I tried message him cheerfully cause I thought the reason of the breakup was me being always negative and that time I did not know about ex recovery thing or anything, so I just message. The next moment he remove me on facebook and my number.
I went quiet for 3 weeks, never message him or call and he never message me either. Then I decided to send him a message that said about I really cherish this relationship and wish work things out. He replied and ask me move on. He gave me the same reason and said “I have no feelings towards you and it will be unfair for you.”
I reply him after a few days saying I sad about this but I accept his decision and wish him all the best. I was trying heal myself but inside my heart I really wish to go back to him, miss enjoying play games and small things that do together. After a few days, I still crying and deeply wish to talk to him. I send him a concern message saying that the haze is getting really thick, hope you and your family take care. He replied. I was happy, btw we are using an app called LINE. I was really happy he replied but I make a mistake, I went to message him a bit more on each day like “can we still play games together?”, just a one question message on a day. Most of the message are question and happy message cause i do not want him to sense i am emotional but i realise that a few message a bit can tell is emotional cause the way I phrase and re read about it, I aware a bit. Then I stop again message him. Most of the message he reads but ignore.
I really miss him. Is it possible or a slight chance to get him back?
Amber

October 2, 2015 at 8:32 am

Hi, so here’s my situation. We were sweet on each other when we were teenagers many years ago and nothing really happened beyond a few smooches. When we reconnected as adults, we got a little physical but not in a relationship way. what we enjoyed most was talking and hanging out, so it was more of a friendship. He was kind of jerky, and I think it was because he was terrified that I would want to coerce him into a relationship. I didn’t. When I realized this, I got a bit irritated and expressed to him the reasons this wasn’t true. He asked me what I wanted between us and I said nothing, that we really didn’t need to even talk anymore. Two days later, he popped up offering me something I really needed for school. I leapt at the opportunity because I really needed it and because I was delighted that he obviously still wanted to be friends. Unfortunately, we got into a huge fight sometime later over the same issues. We were both very angry and neither of us have the personality to back down. I tried to get him to talk to me when I cooled off, but he refused. We did apologize via text and also he pointed out that he forgives me but he won’t forget the things i said, though there is no bad blood. It has been over 60 days. I miss my friend. I am happy to leave the sexual part out of it since it confused things. But I am scared to send the initiating text. He is a very power motivated person and I am wondering if there is anything I can text that will not be perceived immediately as weakness and/or an indication that I want him to be mine. Just wan tot reboot the friendship while maintaining dignity.

Amber

October 11, 2015 at 5:30 pm

Well, I restrained myself and did not reach out to him yet. I wanted to wait and hear your advice first. I am most concerned with how to reach out to him. I feel like unless I have a great approach that engages him, he will simply see it as me crawling back. It has been 2.5 months with no contact.
Amber

October 7, 2015 at 9:34 pm

PLEASE HELP! i’m about to break! Got a bad feeling.
Chris Seiter

October 11, 2015 at 7:17 am

Whats going on Amber?

December

September 27, 2015 at 7:39 am

Hi, I broke up with my bf 3 months ago, he didn’t accept it at first then he sais that he respects my decision and maybe I was right about it. The reason I broke up with him is that he stopped caring suddenly and totally changed with me and lied many times, when I asked him about the reason why he changed the reasons didn’t make any sense to me, so I had to do it and broke up with him so I wont be hurt more. The problem is that we work in the same place and we need each other, so the NC rule couldn’t work very well with me. He still ask about me and how am doing and if I need anyting. I try to ignore him and be cold but sometimes I can’t, because he works with me and I still have feelings for him and want him. Anyways, I still think that there’s chance for us and I want it. Please advise. Thank you.

LUCY

October 30, 2015 at 5:49 am

Have you reconciled at all?

lesley

September 18, 2015 at 7:51 am

i got back onto talking terms with my ex for 2 months but both have been travelling. recently he stopped talkingto me again because he felt i was checking up on whether he was lying about travelling or not by looking onsocial media that showed where his location was. its been 2weeks. after a weej he told me the reason but wont reply to my msgs. before this we msged every day and he told me he missed and loved me. guessing i need to wait for him to b ready
Selene

September 18, 2015 at 3:33 am

Hello, I have a really confusing situation that I’m pretty sure is going to be your first time hearing this type so I hope ur interested in it and really hope u can help me. Okay, so I met this guy online an long story short, we started talking and the first couple weeks were great. I mean he would blow my phone up and I swear he mist have literally checked his phone every minute for my txtxs. I would get a good morning EVERY MORNING. He was talking a out marriage, how his family would love me, and a future together. Wasn’t even interested in a relationship at first but he talked me into liking him, loving him actually. Well I noticed his whole damener changed one week. I got a text the next week and he said he just started dating someone who lives closer, (we are an hour apart) and is in a similar part of life as him, (I guess he means age bc he’s 29 and I’m 20). Now I know he was literally in love with me at first, but how do u change ur mind that quick. Literally in a week. Well, I told him he hasn’t even given us a real chance yet that we deserve at least that, and he said sorry but he has already stated dating someone else, but if/ when his relationship ends he will be begging for me back. I’ve went for over a month with no contact, and just tonight txted him for the first time since then and just said hey starbger how are you. He responded that he’s hanging in there he guesses, I responded last and he hasn’t txted me back and it’s been a couple hours. Do you think he is definitley done with me or what? He even told me he wasn’t done with me that he was just trying to be honest when he admitted he had started dating someone so I’m lost. I mean I wish I saved the messages, this guy was IN LOVE with me at first, and out of nowhere he starts dating someone supposedly. Please help, thanks. (Don’t have an email so I posted a friend’s email) PLEASE HELP

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:39 pm

You should get an email because that’s how you get updates when I respond to you.

Sarah

September 11, 2015 at 9:30 am

Hi Chris, i broke up with my boyfriend thru an sms (now i know it was wrong, should have handled the matter differently) because he flirted with other women in my presence which i found disrespectful. I have since tried to explain the situation to him f2f, he kept of saying we will meet and he has never pitched to any of the meetings. Currently we are not in speaking terms, but before that he tried to reach out but felt he was just playing games with me, cause he would say things and not fulfil them. Its been over 12 months now, been feeling guilty all this time and what would you suggest? i have done NC for a month and nothing more than that. He once agreed on us trying again, but has never really showed any effort. Do u think its time i let it go? pls advice…
Malinda

September 10, 2015 at 5:51 pm

Chris, my situation is rather messy. My ex and I have three children together. He has also been the sole financial supporter for our household. He left two days ago. Wont call, won’t text, nothing. I’m dying! I don’t know what to do. Idk if the regular rules apply to this situation. Please help me!

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 5:00 pm

Were the two of you married?

Did he tell you where he was going at all?

Janet

September 9, 2015 at 9:47 am

I bitterly broke up with my lover after i discovered he’s been cyber-sexing women on facebook. I was heartbroken! I did not confront him immediately but when i tried to raise that issue indirectly, he kinda threatened to end our r/ship. I got angry.
Things ended bitterly on whatsapp and facebook after i told him what i knew about the whole facebook relationships.
The last thing he told me, was that he could explain what happened.

Well, i told him to “f” off and never to contact me again.

I feel bad about everything. I love him so much, but yet i feel i hate him. I hate him for making me look like a fool. What did he get from those cyber girls that i couldn’t give him? Or was it all a show?

I miss him sometimes and i am willing to make things work. But i can’t trust him! The furthest i am willing to go is become friends, Which i doubt i ever will be considering how he treated me like a fool.

I am so devastated!
anon

August 5, 2015 at 12:49 pm

Hi Chris,
I’ve broke up with this guy two months ago. I’m currently implementing the no contact rule as we speak after a recent fall out between me and him. Right after the break up we decided to be friends and it has been very rocky. I was confused to the matters of being his friend because it was that tension or a negative vibe between us like pain or hate. Over time, I would feel overwhelmed like he was mad at me. A two weeks ago we were at this party for a friend, and things were really flirty so it made me think nothing was wrong till the end of the party when something quite didn’t feel right. The week after grew distant and one day he completely ignored me. And then the next day I find out there is a girl he was messing around with and I felt instantly hurt and played. Going on panic mode I called him and confronted him and he became mad at me and accused me for snooping through his business and socializing through mutual friends just to find out what he was doing. Towards the end of the conversation he basically told me to stop texting him and stop being friends. He basically later on blocked my number and on Facebook., however he still has me on snapchat, kik, Instagram that he barely uses, and I don’t believe he just deleted my number
My question is with him being a stubborn person, for when he gets mad or pissed those people are dead to him, is there a chance for us to be on speaking terms again? I just really want to be on good terms and giving him all the space in hopes it will make him miss me and lastly he leaving for the navy less than two months. So this also puts a strain on us if we ever decide to get back together which was one of the reason why we broken up
jeni

August 5, 2015 at 12:42 am

ok so…
my boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago and rely i do not know why. we were in a little argument then randomly he seas i am done. i was upset for the first day being apart and kind of happy but then when i realized how lonely and depressing it is with out someone cheering me up and loving me. Know he is talking to some girl and i think *flirting* with her.. and to me i am just thinking he is doing that to make me jealous. I have to admit i did do something that probably ruined my chances with talking to him anytime soon…i message him 2 days after saying how i can be better and how i changed…. i know i know that was a stupid thing to do but i rely miss him. we have dated for 5 moths…AND we have dated before and broken up..but that time i broke up with him. i am very despreat and to be honestly.. i will for sure not be able to do the NC rule help me i miss him and i have tryed everything to get over the fact that he dose not want me..and i have tryed everything to move one! i need help
Courtney

July 27, 2015 at 3:41 pm

I dated this amazing guy that I met on a dating site for about 3 months. Before we even met he told me how buy he was at work and I told him I understood he had a job that took up a lot of his time. After we were together for a few weeks he said he had a meeting at work and was td things would get even bruiser and they would be working 7 days a week with some pretty late nights. Again I told him I understood and still wanted to continue the relationship. We weren’t able to see each other as much, but the time we did spend together was close to perfect, or at least to me it was. One night I let it slip out that I was falling in love with him and he told me that even though I said it at the perfect moment he didn’t feel the same way yet. After that I really didn’t hear from him much. A week later I texted him to find out if everything was all right between us and he said not really, and then stated he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to return the feeling I had and thought maybe we should end it. We ended up meeting up to talk about it that night and we decided together to try again and see where things went. 3 days later I texted him and he said it was over and didn’t say why. He said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and asked me not to text him. I then initiated the no contact rule and instead of 30 days, I waited about 120 days and sent him a request on snapchat and when I woke up the next morning I noticed he accepted my request. It has now been a week since I sent the request, but I have not heard from him. I don’t know what to do. Seeing how he had asked me not to text him I figured if I sent a request out there he would message me. Please give me some advice on where I should go from here. I really do care about him and I do want him back.

Thank you for any advice you can give me.
Madison

July 21, 2015 at 10:54 pm

What happens if he blocks your number, ignores your emails and hasnt defriended you on facebook but doesn’t respond to private messages. I was dating this guy for about a year on and off. He has some pretty significant issues with self esteem and being a perfectionist (anxiety and control). I was his first relationship after his divorce about 2 1/2 years ago. We broke up but stayed friends and he recently told me that he loved me. Well we hung out and I thought we had a good date etc etc. , the next day he said he didnt have enough time to follow through with our brunch date so i went and hung out with a male friend (just a friend) well i posted a picture of my friend and i hanging out and havent really heard from my ex since. I was worried so I texted and found that my number had been blocked, then i emailed him and finally he said “im alive” and then said he wasnt mad at me but that it was time to move on…. This is the same guy who like a week previous had finally confessed that he loved me and that I made him abolutely weak… And now he wants to move on? I know hes angry about the picture. He likes to over think things and then makes small situations worse than they are. I miss him though, we were best friends above all else and he is ignoring me. It hurts my feelings and of course i went all crazy emailing and texting from different numbers but ive said my piece and im going to leave it at that but id be lying if i said i didnt want him back in my life. What do I do if he has blocked my number etc? after NC what happens then?
Melissa

July 14, 2015 at 2:58 am

Hi chris,

I broke up with my ex back in May and implemented NC. I ignored him, then tried to talk to him. I missed his best friends wedding in that time. Finally when the 30 day period was over, I contacted him and he basically said he was heartbroken and did not want to try again with us. He said he needs the weekend to think about things. Then he came back with its best we go our separate ways. It was nice message.

I didn’t like this so I asked for closure in person. He agreed. But cancelled 3 days in a row. Then I ran into him this past weekend (it’s been 2 months since I’ve seen him). I had been drinking a bit, but I saw him and walked up to him. I couldn’t help but kiss him. He was flirty then at the end, he totally flipped and said he can’t talk to be like this and it’s better to talk sober.

The next morning I get an angry text about how he doesn’t want me back in his life and how I never treated him well. Then he said I can’t just waltz back into his life like that. I tried to explain myself. He got everything off of his chest and was being mean about it. Then, he told me he is going on a date tonight. So I said don’t go lol. Either way, it made me spill my feelings for him via long tezt message. After 5 hours, he texts back saying he wants to go our separate ways bc he is heartbroken and wants to repair his heart. I texted back saying I respect that. And I’ll always love him and I lost the love of my life. NOTHING.

My point is, I followed everything you said. It didn’t work. He doesn’t want me back. Any ideas? Please help.
Brittany

July 3, 2015 at 7:14 pm

I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant. I’m 24 and my now ex boy friend is 25. He broke up with me a little over a month and a half ago. I would always complain about how he would never pay attention to me and one day I flipped out on him and told him he has to start acting like my boy friend not a friend. Going back and think bout how our relationship was I now realize that he did pay attention to me but with all the changes with my pregnancy I never saw them. He broke up with me after my outburst and said we can’t be together right now maybe in the future cuz he needs time and to figure out what he wants. I went off the deep end. I begged pleaded and cried everyday to him for a good week. That obviously got me nowhere. I have been doing the NC rule for a few weeks and he will text me every 3 days or so to ask me how I’m doing with the pregnancy. But its never any other questions. I am short with my responses and he never asks anything else after I respond. Yesterday I text him reminding him bout our favorite song we used to listen to and sing along together to it. I toldhim it reminded me of him and i wanted him to know I missed him and was thinking bout him. He text back “I miss you too” he used to text me he missed me and loved me everyday after the break up but as soon as I started the NC he stopped. I really want him back and want to be a family with him. He tells mutual friends he misses me here and there but he puts no effort to really contact me. Prior to me starting the NC rule we would make plans but he would always back out. And according to some friends and family he has been keeping himself very busy. Does this mean he’s done? Will he come back? How can I get him to open up and tell me what he wants? All he ever says is he doesn’t know. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. Please give me advice.

Chris Seiter

July 9, 2015 at 12:05 am

Did you have a listen to the pregnancy podcast I just posted?

Confused and trying not to go nuts

June 20, 2015 at 5:05 am

I can’t believe I’m writing into one of these sites. But I dated this amazing guy for three months the chemistry was amazing but I think we moved to fast. Like we formally met each others parents he wanted me to officially move in and he even brought up marriage once which would have scared me off but I felt the same way about him. The truth is I am a party girl in reform I now have a great 9 to 5 job and my life has changed a lot this past year. this was my first meaningful relationship and I messed up. I got blackout out drunk with my co workers got lost in the city and he had to leave his job to come get me. I have no recollection of the night I hardly go out anymore but I made a mistake and felt terrible. He decided to break up with me via text without talking which hurt. A week later I was leaving for a trip and begged him to let me get my stuff from his apartment but I didn’t beg for him back because he doesn’t deserve to put up with that crap. When I saw him I told him I was sorry and deserved better. He told me to give him a call when I got back in town and we could talk about it. I was filled with hope but when I got back in town I called and I didn’t get an answer so I left a very short message. It’s been a week and it’s driving me insane I have a lot of hobbies to keep me busy and I meet new people everyday I just don’t know if I should move on or wait. He forgot to give me a very expensive camera that I use for my art but I don’t need it right now so I don’t want to use that as excuse to see him. I just don’t know how to handle this. It would be nice to hear advice from someone who doesn’t know me.

Chris Seiter

July 15, 2015 at 6:31 pm

I can’t believe that I got you to write!!!

Thats pretty cool that you had the guts to do it.

Just an FYI you are allowed to break NC to get your camera if you really want it.

Lillian

June 20, 2015 at 4:33 am

I implemented the no contact rule. During the allotted time I did not speak to my ex. We worked together and sat in the same row, so it was not easy. I got the one drunk call and spoke to him, but I was a bit cold and didn’t stay on the phone long. He said he missed me and missed hearing my voice. He did not want us to never speak again. Two days later, at work he was noticably angry at me. He didn’t speak to me at all, but kept talking to other people around me and I ignored him. After almost 30 days I left the company.

He began visiting a neighbor of mine that lived upstairs from me several times per week. It was a woman who had her daughter & son in law living with her. She also worked with us and often came over into our row to talk with him. I thought he might be trying to get me jealous. Because she was my neighbor & lived upstairs from me, I started talking to her and visiting with her. I made sure I never went upstairs when he was there.
I discovered that she would go to sleep when he was there and he would stay visiting with her daughter & son in law. She herself assured me she had no attraction to him and he often spoke of me. He never once rang my bell or knocked on my door, but would park right in front of my apartment window. Suddenly before the 30 days expired he stopped showing up. I continued to wait for the 30 days to expire.
At this point he got so angry with me he changed his phone number. I have no way to contact him now, and we are both leaving to work in different states in different sides of the country, I’m going west and he is going south.
So I left a note on his care simply saying that I cared for him and missed talking to him, hearing his voice and his great smile. Basically the same thing he had said to me in his drunk call. A week has now gone by and I have heard nothing at all. I am leaving in less then a week. He is leaving in two weeks. There is nothing more I can do and the 30 day rule was a flop!
mandy

June 17, 2015 at 8:41 pm

Hello ,
So I came to boyfriend really drunk and I past out , he went through my phone and found an old messege from my ex that was in April , the time we started talking and dating , we didn’t get serious until almost end of April and he said the message I told him , I also said it to my ex too. Me and my ex we broke in December and stayed as friends but he wanted to continue to have our sex and i said no , cause yes I would still be in love with you and miss you . So my boyfriend got upset and don’t trust me cause he has been hurt and cheated on so many times. When we became serious I cut all ties with my ex cause I didn’t want to ruin my relationship. So he broke up with me , he wont talk to me or respond to me at all . What do I do . I know we only been together for a mth but the way felt about each other was real. I was falling for him.
Boing

June 13, 2015 at 11:48 am

LOL do not play stupid games. If you okay this game and he plays this game, you will lose. Just be honest and leave it at that, rather than cowering like little rabbits. Tell him you love him (if you do) and that you’re sorry, then leave it. You are grown women, act like it.

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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”