Do You Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

699 thoughts on “Do You Even Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Let’s Find Out!”

Christy

April 26, 2015 at 5:10 pm

What if we both cheated without knowing the other was cheating at the same time… Then both found out, and he decided his is no longer cheating because I cheated. Therefore in his mind I’m the only who cheated. He starts dating someone else while we were living together for a month before he broke up with me over the phone. And then three days later I find out we are pregnant? What are the chances for our scenario?
Sabrina

April 26, 2015 at 5:20 am

Hey Chris.

My ex broke up with me earlier this week. I was devastated, resorted to texting him a lot, and nothing I said would change his mind. We were both in a LDR, and as per any LDR, timezones and distance is two of the major factors of our breakup. He also said that (he told his friends) that I’m “clingy” and “demands to be replied to every time /she/ texts”, and he also works on an irregular schedule, which complicates conversations. I told him it was fine with me, that if he needs time I can give it to him, he doesn’t have to reply when he’s at work, but he kept insisting that we “will never work” and that we “will never meet/get together in real”. Shortly after, I see him online on Facebook and talking to his other friends but me and seemed to be really happy with his choice.

That broke me. I really don’t know what to do. I approached some of his friends and asked them for tips; all of them told me that I needed to wait and be patient and give it time, like he told me to. I tried, but couldn’t resist myself from messaging him. Earlier today, I sent him a “hey”, and he went full-blown rage on me, telling me I don’t have to message him EVERY day. We had an argument, which ended up with him blocking me (Facebook and Whatsapp, but not Skype). Devastated, I tried contacting his friends, but they told me to “move on”. No, I can’t accept that. I can’t give up now.

Chris. Help me. Skype is my only chance of communication with him and if I even talk to him on there he will block me there, too. What should I do? I want him back so much. I want him back so so much because he’s the one who asked me out and helped me out of my dark phase. I don’t care what it takes, but please, please, PLEASE, help me. I can’t lose him; I know he’s the one for me.

Sincerely and desperately,
Sabrina.
Sherrie

April 26, 2015 at 4:58 am

My bf broke up with me almost a year into our relationship. Days later he was back with his ex, blocked me from Fb and wanted no contact. We had a good relationship, a few communication issues but that’s it. I tend to be very strong minded and stubborn but who isn’t. I would say we had maybe 3 or 4 arguments if that. I’m left without any closure, I did contact him a couple of times during the first 2 weeks but no more after that. I really love this man but he hurt me so bad I’m not even sure I want him back. How can something so real be fake? By the way this is the 3rd or 4th time him and his ex has been on again off again

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:27 pm

I literally just wrote a post about on again off again relationships.

Amanda

April 25, 2015 at 11:23 pm

Not to go into too much detail. I was dating this great guy for four months and he broke up with me, something along the lines of it’s not you it’s me. I have contacted him twice and the second time I asked to talk which he agreed to, but now I think I should cancel on him and start NC.
Should I go through with the meeting or tell him that I don’t think it’s a good idea and start No Contact?

Confused

May 1, 2015 at 5:09 pm

I have been dating this guy for 5 years. And we are both 24 now. We always been very happy in the relationship even though he has been struggling to build a good career for himself, the stress of it all never came on our relationship. We both also have very different taste in music and movies that we wanna watch and we always used to compromise for each other. For both of us this was our first serious relationship we always thought we should sometime go on a break and explore other people. But we could never actually do it because we were too much in love. Now recently we were fighting on stupid issues, so after a fight he told me he thinks it’s the right time to go on a break and that he cannot date me anymore because he can’t handle the stupid fights anymore also he has suddenly realized after 5 years that we have a lot of dissimilarities and he can’t compromise on things he likes to watch or listen to anymore. But he wants to be my friend because he says he can’t stop talking to me. And he just wants to be my friend and never get back as a boyfriend. I told him I can’t be his friend. I know he also wants to go out and explore more people. I know for that he will need time. And I am ok with it. As I will also get to think if I actually want him back or not. But my question is for how long should I follow the no contact rule because I don’t think after a month he will be ready to come back as he wont have actually gone out and explored much. And I want him to go out and explore and figure out if I was the righ one. And if I don’t contact him or reply to him for 6-7 months won’t he just forget about me and move on?
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:22 pm

start NC.

Carmen

April 25, 2015 at 11:04 pm

I’m 29, and my ex is 38 with 2 kids (5 and 3yo) and an ex wife that’s been drama free. We dated seriously for 6 months and we broke up 2 weeks ago. Actually i broke up with him after a month of feeling like he’d stopped trying, which we had several conversations about, each of which ended with him saying he still wanted the relationship, and he’d fix what I felt was wrong. Our relationship for 4-5 months, was better than any fantasy i’ve ever had. Then he stopped prioritizing our time together, and gave excuses like needing “me-time” (although we only hung out 2-3x/wk at best) or needing to “catch up” on chores and errands. A lot of people have said he got scared. His cousin told me weeks before we broke up that he’s just selfish, but i should try to hang on because he really cared about me. Clearly i couldn’t hang on, feeling unwanted, unappreciated, and like i’d become a chore for him. After telling him what i wanted, and asking what he wanted, he said “i don’t know”…. so I broke up with him over the phone, and we had almost no contact for 2 weeks. We met 2 days ago so i could get my stuff from his house, and we talked a bit. It was actually a beautiful ending – very mature and emotional, but with minimal crying. Very respectful. I 100% intend to follow no contact – he called me last night to “make up for last weekend” when he didn’t call after saying he would (which he doesn’t remember). I said thank you, reminded him that we’re not going to be in contact, and we ended the call. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to break up with him – I love him, I want to be with him, and I really thought our relationship was going somewhere… So, what happened? What’s happening? I’m a happy person with a very full life that i love, and i really wanted him to be the one i shared it with. Is he going to realize what he lost and come back?

Carmen

April 28, 2015 at 12:46 pm

in response to your last question Chris, we started dating 2 years after his divorce.
Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:21 pm

How long after the ex wife did the two of you date?

P

April 25, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Hey Chris! So I read through this and I landed on having a good chance on getting my ex back, but then we also had a toxic relationship cause of trust issues and insecurities. I snooped on this social media accounts, and there was an incident that I felt depressed and told him I wanted to kill myself so he drove to my house at 2am. He broke up with me cause we fought a lot and i became closed minded and said things I dont mean.. But he did know I really loved him. I just had personal issues and I didn’t handle them very well… What are my chances of getting back with him? It’s been 3 months since the break up and we aren’t talking much. He recently muted me on Twitter too after talking to me saying that we’d be okay…. What are my chances?

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Yes… that is a little toxic.

Your chances are a little below good in my opinion.

faith

April 25, 2015 at 8:57 am

Hi chris!

Aftter no contact, my ex bf and I meet again. He said he love as a friend. And when the time comes that he is ready to start his own family, he said that I will be the first one that he will ask to marry him if i am still available. I agree to be his friend. What should I do now?

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:04 pm

He friend zoned you…

Nela

April 25, 2015 at 5:30 am

Hi Chris! Really loved your website. Now here’s my story, I broke up with my bf 3 months ago we’ve been together for 6 months and never really had issues we’re great together it’s just that he became so into work he doesn’t have time for me so I broke up but after that I constantly as him to come back but then he told me toove on already because he wants to do things on his own for now. What should I do? Will the NC rule work if we’ve broken up like 3 months already? His friends and family loves me tho they’re helping me fix things with him but he just don’t cooperate. What to do? 🙁 hope for your response. Thanks! 🙂

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm

Yes it can still be effective after 3 months.

Lover2

April 24, 2015 at 6:34 pm

Hey Chris!

So, my ex and I are back in contact after no contact…initiated by me. He has replied to all of my messages right away and agreed to meetup within the next couple of weeks. During our period of no contact he was posting love songs on his social media. Songs about love and reconciliation. Do you think they have anything to do with me and do chances seem pretty good?

Lover2

April 26, 2015 at 3:12 am

What about him agreeing to meeting up and sounding excited?
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:13 pm

They probably do.

I wouldn’t go as far as saying youll get him back b/c of the songs but they certainly do raise your chances 🙂

CJ

April 24, 2015 at 4:57 pm

Hey Chris! Just found your website. So my situation is weird…my ex and I were pretty new, were together two months, and he broke up with me because he’s being relocated for work, which we knew was an option going into this. I get it, but I’ve never had someone be as sweet to me as he is, which is why I was willing to try long distance…but we never discussed it…I think he was too scared to ask. We have been broken up almost a month (no contact, go me!) And he’s leaving in another month or so. From your opinion, is there a shot?

abby

April 28, 2015 at 9:30 am

Hi I just found this website, I’m 27 weeks pregant I have pushed my boyfriend away and been really horrible since being pregnant my boyfriend had had enough and broke up with me, he said he loves me and always will he wanted space and I didn’t give it to him, we keep arguing and crying because it’s all a mess, I don’t know what to do? Is there a chance I can get him back ? I have begged and pleaded for another chance and he’s saying I don’t deserve another chance, he said he would do anything for me and take a bullet for me so why is he doing this 🙁 I know I’ve been horrible and we have kept on arguing but ive said sorry over and over and just want him back
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:07 pm

Welcome to the website!

I think if you start the process right away and stick to things post NC you can be quite effective at winning him back.

Jamie

April 24, 2015 at 3:32 pm

Help!! My situation is very complicated and I’m not sure what methods to use! Me and my ex were together for 5 yrs then we split and he moved on and got another girl pregnant ( he will be 3 in October ) they broke up over a year ago and we got back together 10 months ago well he hadn’t seen his son in over a year ( they live 2000 miles away ) so I bought him a plane ticket to go see him for 4 days. He just got back and I could tell something was different I caught him texting her that he misses her and calling her baby and so I told him he needed to go stay at his moms. He says he doesn’t know what he wants and just needs time that he thinks we are moving too fast and that he still wants to see me and hangout with me but doesn’t want to live with me.. I am 7 months pregnant with his daughter with a very complicated medical condition that has me on bedrest… Please help I have a child almost here and I’m so lost…
Brianna

April 24, 2015 at 1:29 pm

So I’m only 16, I know, young, I don’t know anything, I have my whole life ahead of me.. anyway I just went through a break up and I want HIM. I don’t care about what’s in the future right now I want him. We broke up because we fought a lot. It was mostly about his mom because she didn’t like me and she’d judge me and not allow us to hangout (I was his first gf that’s why she doesn’t like me). When we broke up he said he doesn’t love me anymore. He’s stopped talking with me and he’s ignoring my messages. I know we could have made it work and even he knew he just said he didn’t want to anymore. He gave up, and I don’t know if I should.

Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:02 pm

I didn’t say you didn’t know anything at all.

I think you should stop texting him so much though. You might venture into that crazy ex girlfriend territory.

sarah again

April 24, 2015 at 7:58 am

Hi, i am kind of desperate and need to hear from an expert so please help. So we’ve broken up 3 times in 2 months. Everytime he broke up with me, he told me he didnt love me anymore. We’ve been fingthing alot for the last 4 months and now that i look back to those fights, i see i was overly clingy and jealous. He used to tell me how he hated fighting but i was too immature and emotional. And finally he told me how he couldnt do it anymore and he didnt want to be in a relationship right now and he didnt love me and how he had been thinking about leaving me for a while. Of courese i had no clue and thought everything was okay. We decided we take 1 week for him to rest and figure everything out. And after a week when we had a talk, he told me he didnt miss me when we were not talking and he said he didnt love me anymore. i asked if it was because we were fighting a lot and told him i could change but he told me that wasnt it, sounding like it was who i was that he couldnt love anymore. He also gave me this ‘its not you, it’s me. you didnt do anything wrong’ line. He told me we could be friends later. i was basically begging him to call me when he’s ready to be friends. He sounded completely determined and i feel like he;s already moved on and doenst even care about me. Do i still have a chance? And if i do, what should I do?

sarah again

April 25, 2015 at 1:31 pm

I am scared that he’s already moved on and me going on NC and posting pictures of me and other boys on facebook and looking all happy and socially active might gime him some closure in some way. Should i still stick to the plan?
Sarah again

April 25, 2015 at 12:18 am

Yes, its day6 of NC but when we were breaking up, i told him i would wait him to call me and i wouldnt call him first. I read that NC is supposed to make him all curious of what i am upto and why i havent called him yet, but i am worried that he might have the answer to the question : I am desperately waiting for him to call me. You suggested i should be the one with the controll but because of what i said when we were breaking up, it seems like he’s still the one to decide if we are going to keep in touch or not.
sarah again

April 24, 2015 at 8:13 am

by “he had been thinking about leaving me for a while” i mean that for some amount of time he had been considering breaking up with me, not that he wants to leave me for a while and after that get back together. So it means he didnt just say that in the heat of the moment.

Sorry, english is not my first language.
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 10:57 pm

Well, have you tried any of the tactics like NC yet?

Jamie

April 23, 2015 at 6:12 am

Hey Chris,
My ex broke up with me a few months ago and I have done every single thing wrong since. I have been needy, emotional, angry, you name it. But despite that, he’ll still contact me from time to time (a text or a snapchat or two a day). At one point, I did get him to say that he had thought about us getting back together. He literally gave me no reason, nothing when we broke up, so I didn’t know at all where his thoughts were until he told me that. That was a while ago though and just a few days ago I wrote him a text that was basically saying have a nice life and I hope one day we’ll not hate each other enough to be friends. I know he doesn’t believe me when I say I’m moving on because I’ve said it so many times and never have followed through. My question is, is it too late to start the NC and to start putting the plan into motion? Oh, and I would say we had a general breakup, but finding time to spend together was also an issue considering we are both really busy and don’t live very close to each other so I guess maybe a variety of a LDR too?

Jamie

April 23, 2015 at 6:22 am

Also, do you have any advice if NC for 1 month is not really an option? Well, it is, except that if I were to not have contact for 1 whole month, I wouldn’t be able to see him for quite a while after that for geographic reasons.

janine

April 23, 2015 at 5:12 am

hi chris,

i have gotten so much from your page. but i have a few questions that you may not have covered or perhaps i haven’t come across. i just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. In the course of the relationship, i broke up with him and he was badly hurt, started dating another girl but then i realized my mistake, it was a petty break up. I reappeared in his life and he chose me, he dumped this other girl but he was feeling remorse about it. I’m afraid he has fallen in love with this girl the entire time that i was hurting him. i tried to make it up to him, we were happy and the relationship was almost healthy except that this girl kept taunting us, i became insecure and i think i pushed him to her. i was angry because they still communicate. Anyway, we broke up, he got back with her. how do i win him back? will the no contact rule apply? after the break up, i had a fight with him but we’re ok now, we apologized but not back together. but at one point i begged him back, kept telling him i miss him and i even said that i’d take him back anytime. will the no contact rule still work for me? Also, i went to see him the other day and we ended up making love. after we did we were polite and he said he really cares about me but didnt want to give me falsw hopes. i said i did not have any expectations and told him i was moving to another state for 6months which is true because of work. he said i didnt have to go but i said i had to stay away fromhim. is that a major blunder? will i not be able to redeem myself? he is back with her now. how do i win this? what are my chances? meanwhile i will start day 1 of nc tomorrow since i texted him today some random stuff and he replied using our term of endearment, “baby” and then i said, “pls don’t forget me” he didnt reply, i dont know what to think. if he was pissed i’m leaving town and i asked him to say something, he said, what do you want me to say? i said, nothing take care of yourself. that was the last text exchange. they are back together, i gather that. please help me, what are my chances? will the no contact rule work for me?

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 1:08 pm

Glad you liked the page.

Yes, NC can be effective for you.

DeDe

April 23, 2015 at 3:04 am

I’m in a quandry. He cheated in more ways than one but every time I left he wanted me to stay. It was a year. We didn’t live together. In our 40’s. I threatened him in every way to keep him away. I listed everything/one I knew of. I called him a deviant lech, Shrek, and worse. It was horrible. I leveled the playing grou. I don’t even know if I want him back. 6 months later we’re still alone….I saw him 1st time last wknd. and freaked out like a crazy person in public. I put my finger in my mouth as if I were gagging, overly animated. It was humiliating. He was with a woman and that caused it. I texted him later.

Me:I’m so shocked by my actions 2day & must state it. It isn’t me. Reflex & residual damage. I some level of discernment existed. That shocking sight threw me 4 a loop. Showed what were sneaking around behind my back. I reacted badly about what is no longer a part of my life. I know u do not care. I say this 4 strength.

Him (3 hrs. later):I wish u the very best D my old friend Bxxxxx the one who loves disney, is in town, she is almost 70 but likes to get out and watch all the people enjoying themselves, she had fun at the festival today. Goodnite.

Me (immediately):That is very nice. Well, as odd as it may seem, considering the circumstances, it is always nice to put a face to a name. I had wanted to try paddleboarding for a long time.

That was 3 days ago. I am asking for your help because I don’t understand, after my insane behaviour and assumptive text, why he would bother to respond. !?!?!? My threats to keep him away were absolutely NOT violent, nor am I. This is making me sick because I thought I was over it. Was enraged to see him and now have confusion and mixed emotions. Maybe he was placating me after I reacted so strongly? It was a HORRIBLE. break-up. I would be so grateful for your response. Thank you.

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 1:02 pm

Well first things first.

Finding out if you want him back is very important.

Jennie

April 22, 2015 at 11:17 pm

Hi,
We are in high school and broke up about a month ago. We broke up initially because we had been fighting a lot over stupid stuff (he broke up with me). Then I texted him and asked him to reconsider because we were both very distressed and there was a lot of extraneous influence in our breakup. He said he would think about it but he just needed some time (a weekend). Well, the weekend came and went so I figured he didn’t want to get back together so I texted him and asked to talk so I could get some closure so everything wasn’t up in the air. We met, talked, and somehow ended up back together. We only lasted 6 days. Things were tense and awkward and at the end, he said that his feelings for me had declined. When he broke up with me the first time he said “he loved me more than anything”. The second time he said, “that was true when I said it but it just doesn’t feel true now and I don’t think the feelings are coming back.” So we broke up again. That was a month ago and we have not talked. I have, however, spoken to his friends. A couple of weeks ago he said to his friend that he missed me, but he “wouldn’t try to get me back because I was talking to someone else”. (I was, but only as a rebound and that ended a few days ago). In that time period, I know that he started talking to someone else too. Apparently they are only “getting to know eachother” and it appears to be a very loose thing. They met on Twitter and may have hung out in person once but have not kissed or anything. She’s even going to prom with someone else. His friend said a couple of weeks ago that the reason we broke up was because he was “unsure of his feelings” but had since “realized he loved me”. However, it appears now that my ex is not sad anymore (he used to mope around with headphones in and post sad things on Twitter, now he is back to normal for the most part). This may be because he is happy that my thing with someone else ended, but I am worried that it is because he is finally moving on. I still love this boy with all of my heart and it is killing me to not be with him. I’m stuck between moving on and holding out hope of getting back together. His friend told me that “we’re not done, we just need to start over and be friends first” because we were not friends before dating. I miss him immensely and would like nothing better than to get back together with him. My plan is to try to talk with him occasionally (homework, tests, small talk) in class and then text him in the middle of May, which would mark our break up at around 2.5 months. I am hoping that this would open the door to us talking and eventually getting back together. However, I am worried that he no longer loves me (even when prompting his friends, they do not say that he still loves me so that’s worrisome). I don’t even know if he still misses me. I just don’t want to either A) wait too long and miss my opportunity or B) rush it by making him talk about his feelings or revisit usand ruin everything again or C) reach out to him only to hear him say “I don’t love you anymore” or “I don’t want to be together anymore” or “I don’t miss you” or “I met someone else”. Do you have any comments pretty pretty please??

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:48 pm

I think how you reach out is important.

Do you have anything against NC?

Lilly

April 22, 2015 at 9:23 pm

Hey hey, I just want to say that your articles are great. Unfortunately, I haven’t managed to bring back my boyfriend in any way. I tried everything, should I say that I am pretty stubborn when it comes to the new contact rule. I am the persistent one. Yet, nothing ever changed since the day of our break up. Still sometimes wish for the cure, but I am not finding it. Anyways, I will continue to follow your website. Cheers man!

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:54 am

Have you tried anything at all besides the NC rule?

Hopefully we can do something to change your fortune soon.

Lisa

April 22, 2015 at 8:06 am

Hi Chris

My ex and I broke up at the start of January. We were together for 5 years, barely argued and genuinely had some of the best memories together. He is someone that I want to experience the world with. In the final few months of our relationship we were not communicating as well as I would have liked. He works long hours and so do I. Something felt like it was wrong but I had no idea how to fix the situation. We agreed a month of no contact which we stuck to and after that, he called it a day. He has been in relationships for ten years (since he was 18), 5 of them with me. He said he feels like he needs to focus on his career and his life for the first time in a long time. He said that he was not putting enough effort and time into the relationship because of this. He said he still loves me and wants me and it’s not a question of emotion, but this is what he needs to do for him. Thing is, I genuinely understand that. I would probably feel the same if I was in his shoes! I know the issues we had can be easily worked out but do you think it is worth me trying? We have had very little contact in the last 4 months, if any. I’m trying to give both him and myself the space we need. I know he’s made plans to move forwards in his life, but so have I. I have accepted the old relationship is gone and that I may also never get him back. He was my best friend as well as my lover, and someone that I could spend hours and hours with. I don’t just want the relationship back, I want him back in my life. He is so important to me. I haven’t healed fully yet from the break up so I don’t wont to contact him for a few weeks. Is it worth giving this another go? Or should I let him go to do what he feels he needs to do? I just want to do the right thing for both of us, but I know that he is worth fighting for. I know that WE are worth fighting for.

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:25 am

Yes, if you think this is worth fighting for I say full speed ahead!

Help

April 21, 2015 at 9:14 pm

Hi Chris,
So my ex and I dated for a couple years and then he broke up with me saying he’s changed and he loves me but in a different way than before. We have mutual friends in college so there is no way of doing NC for now, but we are on break in 3 weeks. He also thinks I’m “talking” to another guy, but it’s complicated. Do you A) think it’s a bad thing he thinks I’m with another guys? In other words, if he had any thoughts of getting back together will those go away? B) should I do no contact once we’re on summer break? and C) what chance do you think I have of getting him back? What can I do to up those chances?

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:10 am

A. I think it can work for you in some ways.
B. As long as its after the initial NC I think its a good plan.

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699 thoughts on “Do You Even Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Let’s Find Out!”