Decoding The Body Language Of Your Ex Boyfriend- Hugging, Kissing And More

88 thoughts on “Decoding The Body Language Of Your Ex Boyfriend”

Shai

April 3, 2016 at 12:38 am

Hi Chris! I believe that all of the people here are all adults.
So, here’s the thing… Speaking of men’s body language, what does it mean when your boyfriend always stares at you? He would stare at me even during intercourse and would turn his stare away when he realizes that I noticed it!
And so I am also here because I am trying to win him back, we’ve been together only for almost 3 month and go separated for 14 days now and the last time we had an intercourse he was (again) staring at me but this time he didn’t stare away and said “i love you” and I paused for a bit before I said “i love you” back and he hugged me strongly. Does this mean he truly loved me?

We are on a LDR thing but he would come see me once a week since the place he is working for is only 5 hours away from me.
This XBF was a total player 10 years ago, I know it because we used to be friends and he tried to dated me ten years ago but it didn’t work out for me cause I was too young back then and he moved to Singapore for a better job opportunity. Now, we see each other again in December 2015 and decided to go on with it cause I have a “Fairy Tale Syndrome” – i was thinking that it could be that we are destined to be together but the thing is – – there is another guy in the picture. So I ended up having a boyfriend and another guy I am also dating, I cheated on my boyfriend because of this other guy during our first week but my boyfriend found out about it only 13 days ago from today, my boyfriend asked for space but would never break up with me too. Currently, my boyfriend has a new girlfriend for 10 days now. I tried the NO CONTACT but he still calls and texts me and I couldn’t avoid answering, the problem is – he would be the one to contact me first but he wouldn’t reply when I answer. He would only often ask “Where are you?” “What are you doing?” “Where do you stay now?” “Are you still contacting the other guy?” those were his questions and nothing else. And so…I re-started the 30 day NO CONTACT.
Do I really need t answer his calls and texts during the 30 day NO CONTACT or just avoid him completely for the next 30 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 8:04 am

Try to talk about it.. it looks he might be open for it.. if not, continue with no contact.. then din’t answer him unless he sends 10 positive texts that day or says he sincerely wants to work it out

KISH

March 29, 2016 at 4:59 am

My ex-bf gave me the long hug, long and lingering. He rubbed my back in a tender, loving way, but maybe it was just nostalgic. He spoke soft spoken words and with bright eyes said that he would see me again. He is introverted and not good at expressing his feelings or making plans. Now this long hug, but he is not chasing me. I don’t know if I should push to see him again or back off and give him room to process and possibly decide to chase me. I don’t know if he chases. I honestly don’t. I think if nothing happens, I will accept it and just be friends with him, but I don’t want to kill a chance if one is there.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:39 am

Hi Kish,

do you consider doing no contact?

Bhavya

January 1, 2016 at 7:17 pm

Hi Chris,

After a week of break up and NC now, his Facebook status says ‘out with the old, in with the new!’ (I know that’s copied) Does it mean he’s over me absolutely? He broke up after some ugly rows and because I was in a depression phase and he was getting negativity from me, and said he didn’t feel for me anymore, but what we had, people say, was ‘deeper than sex’. He tried to keep it alive, couldn’t. First love, future promises, deep love with that ‘look’ in our eyes and all that. Any chance of getting back? Is 5 months of NC too long?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2016 at 9:57 am

Yes bhavya, I think 5 months is too long. Why not try 30 days first?

Precious Jewel

December 10, 2015 at 11:33 pm

I broke up with my ex last August after two months of being together but we’ve known each other since february of the same year. A few days after our break up, he had a new gf whom he just met. They had a long distance relationship so they call and text each other. My ex is my co-worker so that’s kind of one of the reasons why I broke up with him. He would take a three day leave so he could hook up with the girl. Let me just put an emphasis on the fact that he never got to kiss me nor do anything sexual with me during the time we were together. Whenever we are together, he would play wrestle me, kiss me on the forehead or on the top of my head, and embrace me from behind. We are still good friends and we sometimes eat out together. Our friends want us to get back together, I want that too, but my ex told me that he is not good enough for me. According to him, I will meet the right man for me. He did not hold on to me nor did he do any of the things a bf was supposed to do because he wasn’t good enough for me. I am really confused since i still get texts from him in the wee hours of the morning. He doesn’t want to get back with me but when we’re together it seems as if we haven’t broken up at all. Men really are from mars. Lol.
Sarah k

November 18, 2015 at 4:31 am

Hey Chris
By the way you are very intelligent with perception.
So my Sitch is a réal doozy
So it was when i started my new job that i met my ex. We work toge ther. He is récently divorcéd and did not want any thing serious I agreed to the conditions of just seeing each other exclusively with no title Well we obvionsly got prêtty close . It was when we started spend inf more Time he pulled away then came back a couple days latér Saying he was scared. Out of 7 months he did the running scared and coming back 3 Times.
Then some thing horrible happend and he gradually started Being too Busy to spend Time with me.
And then he hit me with the News after blowing me off for two week
He is seeing some one elle
And im toasted
Okay so i still see him at work
And he is aways looking into my eyes when i Walk in the room he is looking at me. When we talk he stares so deep into my eyes like he is Saying a million things with out Words.
He tells me i look Nice. He is aways standing at a distance where i can see him. He is basicly driving me crazy. He knows how much i like him.
When i sit by him he turns my way looks in my eyes like….damn
We even have moments of inuendos and flirting.

Listen to this when we had our break up talk he was telling me he has to do his own thing right now
And said that the universe Is a mystery and if where meant for each other
We Will be together someday

Does he just want me faithfully waiting like a pathétic victime of cupid
I réally need some advice
Kait

November 10, 2015 at 4:01 pm

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasn’t wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me 3 days after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things aren’t the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesn’t feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? I did the NC rule once before and it got him back and about two weeks later he said he missed me, but do you think it’ll work a second time? Please help, I really don’t know what to do! We live 2 hours apart, so there’s no chance I’ll randomly bump into him :(.
Karina

November 2, 2015 at 3:26 am

Hey Chris,
I’m a little bit confused with my ex. I still live with my ex, but i did the no contact period for a month which just ended this week. During this time i didn’t respond to him, i smiled politely when i saw him and respectfully answered his questions when he asked me (only in person though). Ive been spending the time doing things that improve me and i lost a lot of weight. In the last week we’ve been really well together. Last night we had a great night, he was hugging me, tickling me and there was lots of physical contact. I didn’t stay the night with him but i saw him in the morning. He kissed me on my forehead After the break up he seemed so cold but this felt warm and affectionate.. He always said that he wanted to stay friends and he still calls me his best friend. But last night i also found out that he has been on tinder since less than a week after we broke up. His mixed signals are confusing me. He says were friends but his actions show a different connection. Meanwhile I’m trying to maintain a sort of hot and cold routine. I hang out for a couple of hours and then i leave him, i don’t look back and i don’t act sad to go. Though inside i really am. But i am learning to live without him and the fact they he may not come back is something I’m dealing with and have accepted. But i don’t know if what I’m doing is right? Am I on the right track to getting him back? I also don’t know what he’s thinking? We broke up because in the last couple of moths of our relationship i had become really insecure and he had been dealing with some other problems, we both thought we needed time for ourselves. Though he was adamant that he wanted to break up and not just have a break.
Sarah

September 15, 2015 at 7:25 pm

Chris, it has been a month and a half since my boyfriend broke up with me. We dated for a year and a half and aside from small arguments about being on time, everything was literally perfect. He’s 29 terrified of divorce and I’m 26 terrified of divorce as well, both never been married. We got home from a great vacation and boom he broke it off. I hold steady to the NC for about 14 days then I reach out. He always replies and we even had dinner the other night where he teared up and told me his heart is broken and needs more time. I am not pressuring him for anything at all but I want to know if I’m hurting my chances of getting back together by continuing to see him every couple weeks?
Mandy

August 5, 2015 at 7:35 pm

Just thought is was very interesting am still very confused if he really have feelings or no feelings for me to me i feel like he has some for me but not a whole lot because i didn’t know why he hug me and kiss me and wants to touch i don’t want to just think its a fling with an ex please help thanks like give me more clues for the maybe the next time i see him

Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 9:43 pm

What are some of the things he has done?

Chan

July 26, 2015 at 2:19 pm

Hi, Chris,

I met up with my ex twice since the break up. I’m thinking of going NC after this last time. Anyway, I wasn’t really studying his body language when we were out to eat but I did catch him starting at me with a smile on his face a few times. Both times we hung out we got a little bit drunk. The first time ended with us laying on a bed very close to each other (he keep on moving in close to me, even when I told him not to) we stared at each other. He then caressed my face, touched my chin to look at him and hugged me very very tightly. While hugging me he would occasionally kiss my forehead and smell my hair… It was weird but nothing happened beyond that. The second time we went to a bar. We were both tipsy. The topic of the relationship came up and he said that he didn’t know what to think. A part of him wants me and another part doesn’t. He then said some sexual explicit things that he wanted to do to me but I ignored it. That night ended with him saying that he wished that he met me later in his life and he was too young to settle down even though a part of him wants to. He said that after we broke up he said to himself “I could have had a family with her.” After the talk he hugged me very tightly again for a very very long time. While holding me he kissed my forehead, my cheek very close to my mouth and the very top part of my neck for a very long time. It seemed like he didnt want me to leave. I am very confused about his behavior. He is very hot and cold with his approach to me. He sometimes he has a mental block and doesn’t want to talk. Sometimes he will tell me he wants me back and that he would change and that I’m the only women for him. I am very confused by this behavior. Can you please tell me what this body language means?
Sarah

July 24, 2015 at 1:34 am

I broke up with my ex about two months ago. I didn’t actually intend on breaking up with him as strange as that sounds. We had been kind of on and off for a while but mostly on for months. He has some emotional issues that he needs to work through, and because of that we had gone through some pretty hard stuff together and it had caused me a lot of grief. Anyway, I needed some time to get past that and it was making it really hard to do when we spent time together. I tried asking him for space but he is so charming he just worked his way back in. So I actually broke up with him. I wrote him this letter telling him how amazing I thought he was, all of the things I loved about him, how special he was to me and how much I loved him. I told him that I needed him to work on his emotional issues and not to contact me until he had. When we parted, he said “we will find our way back to each other”
About two weeks in, I missed him so much I was over the stuff we had gone through and I just wanted to be with him. I reached out to him with no reply. Turned out he had blocked my phone number, blocked me on all social media… When I run into him in person he refuses to talk to me. It’s been two months and still nothing from him. I don’t know what to do. When I see him out and about (we live near each other) he just acts like I’m a stranger. I haven’t tried talking to him for some time but he looks right past me like I’m invisible.
I really don’t know what to do.
Char

July 13, 2015 at 11:57 pm

Hello Chris.
I have been reading your site for a while, and started NC about 18 days ago. I work with my ex and there is a lot of times we work together (convenience store/gas station/food shop). I am not sure about the whole body language and touching part; we both had rough, solitary childhoods and found comfort in someone that understood, we’re very private people, so I don’t like touching for the most part while he is pretty standoffish and we only held hands or hugged when we where alone (his stepfather hugged me more often and I wasn’t always willing), and we both live with other people so it wasn’t a frequent thing. Also, he stands comfortably with his arms crossed or hands in his pockets. He only opens up when he’s alone or really relaxed with friends.
I guess what I’m asking is how do I judge his body language when he’s always been defensive even when he’s being open? And how would I go about this when neither of us go in public places or see each other except work?

Btw I didn’t yawn but I did smile 🙂

Chris Seiter

July 16, 2015 at 10:35 pm

Darn… I was looking for those yawns.

I am thinking that with your ex the body language might not be the best way to go. Maybe just focus your energy on some of the other types of tactics I talk about on this website.

You know, sometimes you get a guy who just doesn’t jive well with a certain tactic and that seems to be the case with your ex and his body language.

Clytie

June 6, 2015 at 11:13 pm

Hi Cris! I have been religiously reading your website and I think it has given me a more positive outlook on myself lately. I really appreciate your work and what you do for us women because you have been helping us really.

Ok I’m just gonna go straight to it. Not sure if you can see this or answer me. No pressure. Hahah. Anyway, my boyfriend chose to break up with me because he said he has been hurting me lately. This was about 19 days ago. And it was just through the phone. I gave an ultimatum. If he wants this to work, he’d come to my house and we’ll talk about it, but you know, he chose not to. After that day. I saw your site and wanted to try this no contact rule for 30 days, and the past few days I’ve already achieved so much. I got a job, i had my hair done, i exercised, i lost some weight, just to pass time and also gained some confidence. It’s been 19 days and i guess i’ve managed to become better even if it hurts. But within those days, he never even took the time to text a single message. Or call. I knoooow, maybe I’m impatient but it’s really bothering me. My friends told me he’s been constantly posting Instagram posts like the break up didn’t even happen. They said he looked happy. And now, I’m frustrated. What should I do? Should I get even? Or should I just let it be? Another question, does his behavior mean that I should give up the thought of getting back with him because he’s happy? Does that imply that i should give up and move on as well?
mon

May 31, 2015 at 4:27 pm

Hi,
I finally got my ex boyfriend to ask me to hang out after not seeing each other since we broke up (which was in the beginning of october- break up wasnt mutual. He broke up with me because he thought it was moving too fast) . He asked me to the movies out of the blue, he said he thought we should hang out and catch up, since I said we should remain at very least friends. So I said ok. I know part of it is because he just wanted to seea movie, but he could have asked any girl to do that if he was talking to one.
Anyway, I met at his place to go together. So we drove together in his truck, and he paid for everything, and after the movie, we drove home with a couple detours (he is from the country and new to the city he doesnt know his way around very well). Stayed in the truck a bit to talk, then just hugged goodbye, and I went home.
We went friday (now sunday) we havent said anything to eachother since. I am unsure to proceed? Do I ask to hang out with him now or do I wait for him? Or does he just see me as a friend?
Bianca

May 27, 2015 at 5:24 am

I am on Day 19 of NC. I’m doing well. Proud of myself. It feels good to be me. I’ve been in contact with a few of his friends and each time I’ve said nothing about him. Didn’t feel it was necessary.

Today I felt like I was being watched for a pretty good length of time. I looked over and it was my ex. He had been looking at me. When I saw him, he turned his head away and shook his head as if telling me no. This had never happened to me before. I can’t think of a logical explanation for the message he was giving me. I have suspicion but I’d appreciate what you have to say. Please help me. Thank you.
Lee-Ann

May 21, 2015 at 6:31 pm

Hey Chris,
so my ex and I had been together for about 4 months.. I’ve been into him for a little over a year before we started dating, so he has been my dream guy for some time. We never really had any arguements while dating, only smaller disagreements. But the communication wasn’t that good, since he broke up with be 4 days ago because he wasn’t happy anymore… He is in my class, so doing the No Contact period is quite difficult.

But I’ve made some possitive changes in my life already, to look more attractive and interresting. For example, I’m not into dresses, but I bought a dress and decided to wear it for school.. He apperently felt like making a comment on it.. “Have you lost your trousers?” and “Would you like to borrow some trousers?”… I am not sure what that means, cause to me it doesn’t sound like a compliment.

Also I think he is battling with some feelings, because he told me that he still loves me but just not as much anymore. And he really wants to love me, but for some reason it’s just not working out for him.

What does all this mean?
I really don’t know what to do, so I wrote a letter to him that I will give to him after a month with No Contact. I really do hope that the letter will remind him of the good times we have had together and make him realize that with communication, we can make it work again.

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 6:11 pm

I am not a fan of the letter method.

Some people are but I haven’t seen great results with it.

Taylor

May 8, 2015 at 6:58 pm

Hi Chris,

So after the no contact rule, I sent my ex a text. His response was flirty and as if everything was perfectly okay. 2 days later, I bumped into my ex; he approached me and started making small talk. My answers were civil yet brief, not really allowing room for ongoing conversation. However, he still continued to make conversation. Our break up was a heat of the moment fight, nothing has been resolved and yet he still acted as if everything was fine and as if our fight never happened. Did my distant demeanor affect him? I just don’t know what to think about him easily approaching me and acting as if we were friends. Should I now contact him again? Thanks Chris, I check your website everyday for new posts! I absolutely love reading your articles!
Emma

May 4, 2015 at 12:00 am

Hey Chris, I notice in class my ex stares at me. I was at an assembly with my friend and he was sitting diagonally and my friend wrote on her phone “mike(not his name) keeps looking at you” is staring also a sign and in class he will mimics me I Willian on my hand and he will do it a few moments after. The only problem is he has a girlfriend what do I do???
Em

April 5, 2015 at 1:09 am

Hey chris,
So the mimicking you talked about, I have noticed he does it but he has a girlfriend. I’m confused. How do I get him back?

admin

April 7, 2015 at 8:46 pm

He does it to you or to his girlfriend?

Sorry, didn’t quite get that.
Em

April 8, 2015 at 12:19 am

I notice he mimicks me. But he has a girlfriend this whole situation is confusing

Tina

March 30, 2015 at 3:30 pm

There is this guy i like, but we hooked up 4 times through 2 years, so i think that he now considers me easy or someone who is always available to him.
We are always on good terms, my friend told me that he likes me as a person, and we never had much talk, and never talked about us. So do you think that i can fix that and how?

Melissa

April 15, 2015 at 6:35 pm

I have a situation like this. But we hook up like 5 times in two weeks or less… cuz he was kinda in the city for a short period of time. We went on a date and then we ended up having sex the next days also. But I ended up liking him. although we don’t live in the same city, can I change his perception?
admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:23 pm

You can definitely change that perception that’s the good news.

When was the last time you guys talked?
Tina

April 1, 2015 at 5:52 am

we hooked up again few days ago and next day i texted him. He was responding every few minutes but i ended conversation first using movie card.
admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:35 pm

While hooking up is not a good idea kuddos on ending the conversation first.
Tina

April 4, 2015 at 10:11 am

I realised that i like him after that last hook up haha
I would like to turn it into something else. So
1. i should not use jealousy?
2.i should not pop into places?
3.i should not chase him?
How do i influence him,do you have anything to recommend?
admin

April 7, 2015 at 8:40 pm

1. You should but very subtly
2. Out of nowhere… no you shouldnt
3. No way. It;s his job to chase you.

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88 thoughts on “Decoding The Body Language Of Your Ex Boyfriend”