What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Sun Shine

December 7, 2015 at 7:52 pm

Hi Chris,
As i told you b4 the situation between my ex and myself..I was not talking to hhim bcoz what he said hurt me…so today was his b’day i wished i dont know if he was happyy….:/ Help me..I did NC for the first time.Thanks.
Katie

December 7, 2015 at 4:43 pm

So I dated a guy for 3 years and we were super close the summer before college even though I had broke it off with him. when we went off to college we barely spoke up until about a month ago when he said he missed me and was the happiest when we were together so I gave him chance and then he completely changes and wasn’t sure of his feelings. He recently told me he needed to talk but wanted to do it in person and to trust him. I didn’t want to wait and I pushed too hard and he replied back with have fun never hearing what I had to say, you will never see me or talk to me again, you ruined any shot you had. I started the no contact period today but do you think I have a chance? We have so much history
Kristen

December 6, 2015 at 11:02 pm

What if you are trying no contact, but your friends are still friends with your ex?

Sun Shine

December 7, 2015 at 8:11 pm

No i did it for the first time only.But for two days i didnt contact him as he said something and it hurt me… :'(
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 3:48 pm

Well you still have to do the no contact.

vanessa

December 6, 2015 at 7:35 am

Hi,

I stop talking to my ex boyfriend, on my 7th nc strategy. I need to contact him to take back few things and don’t know how to deal with this situation while appying the NC strategy.

Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 6:03 pm

Are you saying you have done the NC 7 times?

Brooke

December 6, 2015 at 5:09 am

Hi Chris,
My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me about a month ago. We broke up right after he took me away for my 30th birthday and had a great weekend planned out all planned out. We came back and everyone was busting him about not giving me a ring for my bd and then about a week later he said he wasn’t happy in the relationship and when I asked him why he just keep saying that its never going to work and that he has been thinking about why he didn’t give me a ring. About 5 days later I contacted him to get my things back since I basically lived there with him and he did respond to that and we got back together for a week. That saturday he was away at a football game with his friends and he left me a text saying he wanted to be left alone tomorrow and I asked him what was wrong he just said he didn’t want me around. The next day I found out that his brother got engaged and that his gf was calling my boyfriend about it and he was getting mad at them. I have asked a few times to come get my things and drop of his key and everytime I do he is never around and always busy. The last thing I sent to him was to drop my things off at my house since I was going on vacation for a week and never did. Tomorrow is my last day with the NC rule and he hasn’t tried to reach out to me. But I know that he is very stubborn and probably wasn’t going to contact me first. I’m not really sure on what to say or when to even contact him now? If you could help that would be great!
Sun Shine

December 5, 2015 at 2:56 am

My ex brokeup with me bcoz he think that i cheated on him…And his bestie stopped talking to me bcoz he thinks that whatever we did was wrong and we shud end it..it was our (My ex’s bestie and my decision)….After NC had a small chat with my ex it was nice but after a day or two he started saying it again and again that you cheated on me etc etc…I didnt wanted to lose my temper so i was apologising but he is still not convinced yet…He says : “You meant everything to me but now you mean nothing to me” I was hurt i didnt ms him again….On thursday we had our last chat.And his bday is on 8 December..Help me waiting for your reply…Thanks
H

December 4, 2015 at 9:29 pm

Hi Chris,

I guess you could say I’m in NC now. I ended it with the guy I’ve been seeing for the past 6 months b/c he said he wasn’t emotionally ready for a relationship. I am so it wasn’t serving me to be in it if that’s the case. He’s going away for a month and wants to get together when he’s back to see where we stand. Mind you he did not want to end things and even asked if he could still reach out to me. I told him no b/c he can’t have the cake and eat it too. I know I did the right thing but good lord was it hard. I like this man but I deserve someone who wants a relationship with me and 6 months is damn well long enough to know. What you think the chances are of this one working out?
sophia

December 1, 2015 at 5:55 am

Hi Chris!

My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 5 days ago and I haven’t spoken a word to him since. His attachment style in relationships is very avoidant and I tend to be more on the anxious side so I know pushing him when he needs his space is the worst possible thing to do. Our breakup was very complicated but more based on his own anxieties and substance abuse issues leading him to feel badly about disappointing me and having an overall fear that I permanently saw him that way, he admitted to still being in love with me and it not being about his feelings. Anyway, I’m at a loss for what to do now… we haven’t even exchanged our personal belongings yet and the idea of talking to him makes me sick. I love him and I want things to work but I’m not sure how to approach mending things because of his avoidant as well as STUBBORN nature. Does no contact work well on avoidant personality types?

Also, I know for sure he wants the belongings of his I have at my place and will eventually ask for them… should I wait until he contacts me to arrange an exchange?

Thanks,
Sophia

Alli (Can't Lose Hope)

December 5, 2015 at 11:45 pm

Sophia, I know I’m not Chris, but I’m going through something similar, only I am the one with substance abuse issues, but my exboyfriend is also sort of avoidant and introverted, and I still decided to do no-contact. Why? If you play your cards right, it should work!
I’m 3 weeks into no-contact, and I play to reach out in a week and just be super friendly and keep things short.
Don’t be deterred, keep up the NC and you won’t regret it. It CAN’T hurt, only help.

sophia

December 1, 2015 at 5:54 am

Hi Chris!

My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 5 days ago and I haven’t spoken a word to him since. His attachment style in relationships is very avoidant and I tend to be more on the anxious side so I know pushing him when he needs his space is the worst possible thing to do. Our breakup was very complicated but more based on his own anxieties and substance abuse issues leading him to feel badly about disappointing me and having an overall fear that I permanently saw him that way, he admitted to still being in love with me and it not being about his feelings. Anyway, I’m at a loss for what to do now… we haven’t even exchanged our personal belongings yet and the idea of talking to him makes me sick. I love him and I want things to work but I’m not sure how to approach mending things because of his avoidant as well as STUBBORN nature. Does no contact work well on avoidant personality types?

Also, I know for sure he wants the belongings of his I have at my place and will eventually ask for them… should I wait until he contacts me to arrange an exchange?

Thanks,
Samantha
Danielle

November 29, 2015 at 3:54 pm

I haven’t spoke to my ex since Halloween. My birthday is mid November and I didn’t even get a happy birthday . I was with him on and off for 3 years. Should I contact him in December? I’m wondering If I should just give up and move on … Or maybe that’s what he is doing. I love him so much but I’m feeling like he doesn’t care for me anymore since he there wasn’t even a happy birthday from him. Should I just move on or contact him ? He’s an Aries,I’ve read they can be pretty stubborn . I know you’re a busy guy, so if I don’t get a response I understand! Please keep doing your blogs! They are very informative! Thank you! Peace & love!

Danielle

December 6, 2015 at 2:59 pm

Well I just found out after a month of doing the no concact my ex is now with someone else. I’m devastated. I wish I never did the no concact in the first place.
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm

I am sorry that this happened. It’s one of the risks associated with No Contact. How long have they been dating?
Danielle

December 3, 2015 at 8:06 pm

Hi! Thanks so much for replying back! We were on and off for a while , so it’s difficult to give an exact date. But before we stopped talking on Halloween, we talked everyday and still told eachother that we loved eachother before a big fight on Halloween where I was the one to call it quits. I tried the 30 day no contact back in September and he reached out to me a couple times after 3 weeks saying he missed me and things like that but it’s been well over 30 days and I know he is not obligated to wish me well on birthdays or holidays but him and I were such a big part of eachother lives and it just stung a bit when I got no “happy birthday ” at least on my special day. I still haven’t heard anything from him no texts , emails – nothing… So I don’t know I’m thinking maybe he wants to move on. Should I just move on too?
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 5:18 am

When did you break up?

Rohit sangwan

November 29, 2015 at 2:34 pm

My ex gf blocks me on whatsapp when i update status of attitude and when i update sad status like missing something she unblock me but when i mesage her like ‘hii’ she again blocks me and after some time unblock me and she ignore me.totally in class but sometimes we have eyecontact for few seconds,what really she wants i m totally confused

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:47 am

I have the perfect site for you. http://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com

Melissa

November 28, 2015 at 5:31 am

Hey. I really appreciated your feedback and tips on the NC rule. By the end of it, I have actually weighed back up.
I have been talking to this guy for months and I closed the chapter in the beginning of November, because was never straight forward with his emotions and I did not want a man who was confused. We deleted each other off social media, but I messaged him a couple days later, bc I overreacted and should have seen him in person (he wanted to talk in person before closing chapter) He responds completely ignoring that and starting a new convo (how he missed me and stuff reminded him of me) When i reply, he takes at least 5 days to reply. I decided to reply back less emotionally because of that like “oh cute, cool” When he replied late again, I told him I wasn’t comfortable talking again and i was going through a death in a family (which i was, lol not lying) he “seen” the msg, and did not reply. So a couple days later, I messaged him and I received, again a message almost a week after. I decided to open the msg, and not reply. He hasn’t msged yet. I know he uses his phone, he is not busy. Why does he do that? Is he getting over me, but in a friendly way?
Btw; I only have him on skype, because nobody thought of deleting each other there at that time lol, but he’s always “away”, which is weird because he used to rarely use skype. I take cute selfies and upload them as my skype pic too lol
It would be really helpful if you replied, going through really emotional time 🙁 thanks
Joanne

November 27, 2015 at 6:53 am

Hi Chris,

My ex and I broke up for a month. On the day he broke up with me, he cried and told me that he don’t know why he have to end this relationship and he don’t know if he feel tired or lost. He promise that this is not over. At the same time，I try hard to beg him and say I will suicide if he won’t come back to me (I know i’m too childish to do this) but he say sorry to me as he can’t come back to me now. After that night, I keep message him but he didn’t reply me and block me in his whatapps, phone and telegram. On 3rd week of the broke up, I message him in Facebook and ask will he happy if i leave his world, and he reply that he have to let me go. I asked him if he still love me, but he never answer me and just reply say that he feel miserable after we break up and say sorry for hurting me. I almost 2week I never contact him. I was plan to contact him again after NC. But I’m not sure if he will reply me as he told me, he need a year to forget this pain. Could you kindly advise, what should I do if he never reply my message? Do I need to wait a week and text him again?
Sarah

November 26, 2015 at 7:40 pm

So I tryed to post befor. But had no luck. I know everyone situation is different and hard. Basically when I met my ex we got along on many different levels we had deep conversation and a good understand of eachother and enjoyed the same thing. But we had a problem when we first started dating I was in a bad emotional state from my previous relationships I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I didn’t wanna lose him so I caved we wore only together for 4 mounts and I spent alot of my time finding ways to push him away like talking about my exs and crying when I was drinking he is going thought alot with his family to and I think something had to give and it was me sometimes it takes losing someone to realize what you had I now realized why I did these things to him it’s because it was my way of telling him I’ll never let you do that to me and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop the hole time he broke up with me saying his feelings aren’t as stong as rhey once wore and that he is not ready for a serious relationship I contact him a few times after the break up the first few day’s we left it friendly he is still on my Facebook page and sends me likes on some of my post and yesterday said something on my picture post about changing my hair color he said it looks great Sarah he hasn’t contact me by texting at all and I wouldn’t respond even if he did even on my Facebook I dont respond I’m vary serious about my 30 no contact period he has told me before he doesn’t wanna lose me in his life but I don’t want to be the back poket girl I want to be the girl I’m not sure if he is trying to be nice or if he misses me I can’t tell on my Facebook page I only put up positive things and maybe a few small thing’s that might get him a little jealous no pictures of me with other guys or anything oh and we what on a trip and I got mad at him over something stupid and told him I don’t trust you with is not true I was mad but he said how can you love me if you don’t trust me after that that’s when he started pulling away please tell me what you might think is my situation hopless am I stuck in the friends zone forever

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 5:06 am

Sounds like your doing good with no contact. What are you concerned about? The first contact?

unsure

November 25, 2015 at 3:34 am

Hi Chris,

My ex and I have been broke up for a year now, weve been fighting this whole time about who did what and who was wrong, its been a long dragged out break up, we have kids together. Ive finally decided to try this 30 day NC and currently on day 7. He hasnt contacted me, which i expected but even after all this long do you believe this could work for us? Or should i just move on.

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 5:46 am

Why did you break up?

Gemi

November 24, 2015 at 5:07 pm

Dear Chris,
Really could use your help. My guy is very very stubborn. We have been in a relationship for about a year and a half now. I have stayed in the same city for only 5 of those months. He is a researcher working for a phD and very busy. As his stress at work increased, he became very neglectful towards me. We fought a lot over calls and were off and on. Skype became rare. Even a 15 minute call a day seemed tough for him. Yet when his friends asked him to hang out, he was always ready. He always seemed to complain he was tired. The conversations were far from romantic or passionate. It got to me. For last 4 months, he hasn’t even flirted with me. And whenever i called, he seemed mad at me. It hurts all the more because he told me i was not just his lover but his best friend. I have seen him at his best and worst. Yet he says he loves me and cannot say or do anything romantic till his PhD gets in track. As if being a little affectionate will ruin his work. The situation is very painful to me. It seems he hurts me and doesn’t even console me later. 4 days ago, we had a major fight. He suggested a taking a break as he doesn’t have time for a relationship. We are supposed to meet in a month for a group trip. In a heated moment i told him no need to get in touch with me during his grand break just to ask if am alive which he usually does with his customary sarcasm. He seemed pretty angry at that and told him i couldn’t dictate him but agreed. On 2nd day of no contact he sent me a text.
Him: is that an iim jacket in your pic?
Me: ya
Him: ok
No contact ever since. Been 4 days. I am confused and hurt. Is this over?
Sun Shine

November 23, 2015 at 10:48 pm

Hello Chris..I readyour blog many times and it is really inspiring and i think you can help me with my problem…Actually i had a on and off relationship with my ex…During the off period i became friends with his bestfriend..We came closer and with our mutual consent we became fwb…and something happend and we ended it…Aand then my ex contacted me and we decided to take the relationship further…..And then one day he read my chat with his bestfriend…And now he is not talking to mee.I convinced him but it is of no use..He thinks that i cheated on him…He brokeup with me on 29 october..As of now since october 30 i’m having no contact with my ex..I want him back plz help me.
Alexis

November 23, 2015 at 5:14 am

Hi Chris,
What if I contacted my ex about 3 times in separate occasions after starting NC with no response from him? Last time we spoke he was quite angry and said he wanted to let go and move on, but didn’t mean we were not gonna be friends however, I feel he’s cut me out of his life (although he hasn’t blocked me on social media) I applied NC after my ignored texts and it’s been 35 days. I’m afraid if I reach out he’s gonna continue ignoring me because he’s truly moved on.

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 6:17 am

Why did you break up? Was there a big blowout? Why was he angry?

Kay

November 19, 2015 at 9:51 am

It’s been 2 and a half months of no contact and I didn’t even send a birthday message to my which just passed. I know better that my ex wasn’t a match but it hurts me to think for a second that he doesn’t care the slightest bit. Is it possible that even after 2 1/2 months that it’s possible he wants to be back together or is this just proof that he is an idiot and I should really move on? My ex said during our break up that I was the ONE. I have a hard time believing it because if that was the case how could he let me and the relationship go…This is sad and confusing. In my heart I know he isn’t for me – there was some emotional abuse and a lot of blaming… But why I feel he is the one for me too really confuses my decision on having left. I would appreciate feedback.
Princess

November 18, 2015 at 4:18 pm

So I’ve been dating this guy for 2-3 weeks and out of the blue he stopped talking to me I have no idea what went wrong. We had a date the day before and everything was great. I called him the day after he stopped texting me and I got no response. I called him the day after that and he still did not responded. I stopped contacting him after that. He’s not contacting me for whatever reason. This week is going on week 2 of no contact. Should I contact him again after 30 days?

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2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”