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Kelley Gibson
September 21, 2014 at 12:40 am
Well, I just found out that after only two and a half months my ex bf has moved in with someone. And even tho this happened four months ago, he’s been emailing me and even sent me an invite to connect on LinkedIn. Wtf is going on???
Lisa
September 18, 2014 at 7:01 pm
Hello Chris,
My boyfriend and I have broken up two weeks ago, we been together 1 year and started almost two year long distance relationship. In this time period, I just met him once about one month we been together.
On the beginning of this August, he found another girl. But he have not told me this until the middle of August. I made so many mistakes,like begging, crying, text gnat and also tried to sabotage his new relationship. I regret what I have done, because he said what I have done let he decided which girl he loves.After I realized my mistake, we talk sometimes just like friend about 10 days.
Today, I said to him, I do not want to be your friend and say goodbye to him. I want to apply the NC rule from today. We are still in long distance relationship and he will leave that new girl 10 days later because he will take the college class.
My questions are, is he in the rebound relationship? Do I have to apply NC rule? And do I have the possibility to get him back? Please give me some suggestions about my situation.I can go to see him in person 4 months later and he can meet with that new girl at the same time.
Thank you very much!
admin
September 29, 2014 at 12:43 pm
How long was the distance?
Erica
September 18, 2014 at 5:49 pm
Maybe not, since I don’t see it anywhere?
Erica
September 14, 2014 at 3:18 am
My ex and I met back in September of 2012, and made it official November 16th, 2012. We’ve both been through a lot together. Both losing are jobs are the same time (December 2012) to finding new ones (January 2013). I’ve been there for him through his darkest time, carrying him when he walked out on his new job, paying for everthing. Being there when he was depress,etc,. The whole none yards, whatever the issues was we dealt with it and moved on. I’ve never gave up on me, never once said I couldn’t handle this relationship anymore. Of course we fought, ( what relationship doesn’t? No one is perfect) I was there when his oldest child was acting up, running off and not wanting to come home. I was there when he didn’t see his kids for months on ends. ( due to him being depress) I love him more than anything in this world…. Well, in July of 2014 everything came crashing down. He was drinking more, staying out late, me picking up him at bars, paying for his tab. He cheated on me August 1st 2014. We’ve talked, we wanted to work this out between us, him saying he still loves me, wants to marry me and have a kid with me. But August 15, 2014 he cut me off cold turkey, wouldn’t answer any of my calls, emails, text messages or work emails. Couple days later I get onto Facebook and to find out he took me Off his friends list, and he said he was in another relationship with another girl. ( not the one who he cheated on me with) he posted saying he “found his soulmate”. He wouldn’t answer any of my calls, emails, text messages when I found out he was with someone else.. I was angry, sad, hurt, confused. How could he do this to me. I couldn’t believe it. He lived with me for two years and he’s already moved into her place?!! Is this a rebound relationship. How can someone move on that fast? Please help!
Laura
September 7, 2014 at 11:44 pm
They are still together after 5 months is this a rebound? He got with her before he ended it with me. Not sure it was physical cheating but that fact that I didn’t know this after is cheating to me, I found out on twitter. Will it last? And why do girls do cheap things? Please tell me its a rebound! š
admin
September 15, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Looking less and less like a rebound at this point.
Erica
September 17, 2014 at 5:47 pm
Have you replyed back to mine?
admin
September 18, 2014 at 4:23 pm
I think so? Have I not?
Mila
September 5, 2014 at 1:41 am
Hi, Chris:) Hope you’re having a good week.
Just stumbled upon this page as I was looking for information, unsurprisingly, on rebound relationships. I just moved to a different city to pursue my graduate degree in music, and my ex-boyfriend, with whom I was for just almost three years, has moved on very quickly and is now with someone else. He is 25 and she is about 20 (don’t know if that makes a huge difference, but everyone is different), and they had been just friends at the job we used to share, for a year or so. I knew about it and was fine with it, but a got couple of months after I was accepted into graduate school, he developed an attraction to her, which I found out about in July (he told me it was extremely recent and didn’t happen right away). He told me he was very scared about losing me and that’s why it happened. He drove me out here to my new place of residence and stayed for a few days before he went home, and for the past two weeks we have been alternating between time and space from each other, and trying to help each other through the break up. A friend of mine convinced me to tell him how I felt about him and that I wanted to try and make long distance work, and so I did in an e mail, about which I was extremely confident. He never responded, and instead posted on facebook that he had started this new relationship with the girl from work. He never told me anything about it, and blocked the information from me. The only reason I found out is because my new roommate saw the change on facebook, and told me about it. I am spending a lot of time nurturing myself right now and such, but I still love him and maybe foolishly have some hope in the back of my mind for the future. Do you have any advice for me at all? Any thoughts? Is there anything you could suggest at this time?
admin
September 5, 2014 at 12:36 pm
How fast did he start dating this girl after your breakup?
SadGirl
September 1, 2014 at 12:07 pm
My relationship of 24 years ended about 5 months ago almost 6. I love my man more then ever but just found out he is seeing someone. Is there hope that I can get him back?
admin
September 2, 2014 at 1:17 pm
Who broke up with who?
adan
August 31, 2014 at 4:33 am
hey i got some issue. my ex girlfriend and i had been friend for 4 years before we get together. we got together for 7 months and broke off recently. she is the dumper and im the dumpee. the reason for breaking up is because i always give her attitude and make her too stress to handle. and there is this guy that trying to woo her for 3 months. she break up with me and go with the guy immediately. she said she love me but just not compatible, and her love is not enough to give me 2nd chance to prove myself. i really love her alot. what should i do? that guys seem to give her everything she needs now. she 24 and the guy is 30. i dont a 30 years old mature guy making any mistake. what should i do now?
admin
September 2, 2014 at 12:25 pm
Hi there, I would like to recommend that you go to my other website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
Bonbon
August 26, 2014 at 1:28 am
Hey… So me in this guy never really made it official but he wanted to get commitment with me… We were seeing each other for 3 months… Even though I always push him away he wanted to be with me… But he did some things I didn’t like and I got really cold… Till one day he actually accepted to break up with and I didn’t really want that… As soon as we broke up and the next day he had posted a statues on FB about this girl… I so upset I had to talk to him which I did… He told me he didn’t want anything to do with me and to move on and to not be upset about him anymore… But he also told me he was going to message and call me which he did and I never responded back to him… I changed my number and I started with the No Contact Rule.. And as soon as he found out I changed my number… He started messaging my friend telling her that he misses me but its for the best that were not together… But he wanted for me to message him… That his upset about the situation… He even posted a statues with a song saying that he misses me… But now his in love with this new chick… Which he posted this statues about he missing me not too long ago…
Jessi
August 20, 2014 at 9:14 am
please help! It has been 3 months, contact has been off and on but today he said he has someone and said that we will never ever get back together – he wrote those exact words!
Dated almost a year, since last summer. Moved to a new city to be with him last October and came back to my home town in March, as we were fighting aggressively, still talked but he then decided out of the blue to end things in May (also got a new job, so I am pretty sure he met the new girl at work)
He then said in email that he wants to be left alone but would be willing to talk to me in October. (I don’t know why then) but he highlighted the fact that he does not want to get back together, he just would be willing to talk then. I responded with how I felt and tried to highlight the good moments in our relationship, as I am afraid he has many bad memories. He just repeated in caps the same thing: we are never ever getting back together.
Is there any hope for this? He is on a rebound 100% according to your infographic. But he made it clear his intentions, what could a NC possibly do? He has someone and he said it over and over: he wants no contact and does not want to get back together. (ever)
admin
August 25, 2014 at 11:52 am
Were you two talking romantically at all before he said this? How did the topic of getting back together even come up?
Jessi
August 25, 2014 at 7:55 pm
We were not talking romantically before he said this, it was just neutral email. He sent an email asking for emails to stop and wrote “when I want to contact you I will”. I emailed back asking what that meant and then I brought up getting back together and how I felt. That is when he replied saying he had someone and is not even considering ever getting back together and prefers never to talk to me again but was willing to ‘just talk’, because I wanted to. Very aggressive and defensive on his part… perhaps he is confused but does not want to show it ?
Jessi
August 25, 2014 at 8:01 pm
Actually, let me be specific here: he said the emails were annoying and he felt he was being harassed and almost stalked (even if they were neutral stuff like interesting articles and if he got mail etc). Thats when he wrote the ‘I’ll contact you when I want to’.
I asked if that contact would be about us getting back together and wrote a long email about what I have learned since our breakup etc… and he just told me to stop writing to him.
Jessi
August 20, 2014 at 9:18 am
also keep in mind that we did not speak from May to July, I sent him emails but he did not respond. He changed his phone number and blocked me from Facebook so I wasn’t even able to text him. Wasn’t that sort of an NC ?
Anonymous
August 19, 2014 at 6:52 pm
My ex and I were together for 4 years. I broke up with him because I could feel things falling apart, then moved out a month later. We still texts everyday and hung out several times a week. He stated growing distant abd I realized I made a mistake. I told him about 4 months into the breakup that I want to take things slow and make it work. He said he is unsure, he needs time. Isn’t 100% sure he wants to be in a relationship with me and he needs time. He’s been “talking” to another girl for almost 2 months. Said he owes it to himself to see if he could be happier with someone else. When I told him my feelings about a month and a half ago (only about 2 weeks into him talking to this girl) he told me he would have easily taken me back 1 month ago. He doesn’t initiate contact with me and seems so negative and bitter about our relationship. Whenever a go a few days without talking to him I see a glimpse of the real him but then he snaps back into the attitude he’s in now. I acted foolishly, begged, pleaded, cried, was rude and he said my actions pushed him farther away. Is the no contact rule worth trying. He had bought a ring for me 2 years ago and was waiting to give it to me when he knew I was ready. I told him my 4 months to reflect on things changed my perspective, I want to get married and have a life with him, he says he now doesn’t know if he ever wants to get married. He can’t be with me “right now” when he’s unsure, lies this new girl and can’t know that I won’t hurt him like this again. He seems so distant and over it but at the same time not. How can he be over 4 years that quickly. I asked “what did you do to help yourself” he said that he told himself I would never come back and he needed to move on. So I asked, “I need to tell myself you’ll never come back?” And he said no. What do I do?
admin
August 25, 2014 at 11:21 am
I doubt he is over it that quickly. But I have a feeling you are being way too avaailable for him.
K
September 1, 2014 at 2:07 am
Your story is EXACTLY the same as mine but shorter time frames.. we were together of 1.5yrs he spent 3 weeks after I broke up with him trying to get me back 4 days after that I told him I wanted to make it work.. all distance ‘needs time’ .. found out hed been chatting to this girl.. now they have been together a month… they are completely connected apparently and he just wants nothing to do with me.. Admin does this still count as a rebound?? how are you supposed to compete with a rebound esp if youve already broken all the rules and the last image he has of you is being too available?
Anonymous
September 3, 2014 at 11:30 pm
See having a hard time determining if it’s even a rebound. Just found out they are now dating, he admitted to playing games with me. He brought her to his family reunion. So all in all they started talking 4 months after the breakup and dating 6 months after.I started no contact and on day 10 he texted me asking if I hate him, then 4 hours with no reply said I take that as a yes? I was foolish and sent a long sappy message and he just said didn’t know where that was coming from, he told me what he needed to do for himself and he’s sorry it’s hurting me. So what do I do?
admin
September 2, 2014 at 12:30 pm
Still yes.
Anonymous
August 19, 2014 at 7:02 pm
Also, he goes out of his way to hangout with her. Says he just wanted to be honest with me, she is the total opposite ( appearance wise) of what he likes. But I don’t know if it’s a rebound because he knows I love him and want to be with him but is basically choosing to try things with her over me. His best friend reached out to me and said he hates her and she’s rude and went be around too long..
Jenny
August 13, 2014 at 2:45 am
Hello,
My boyfriend and I broke up around 06/23, so it’s been about a month and a half since the breakup. I have started “no contact” and it’s the 17th day today. Since NC, he’s contacted me 3 days in a row right after NC started (1st, 2nd and 3rd days), and again on the 7th day. However, I haven’t heard from him since.
I’ve talked to a few friends and a friend that used to work with him told me that he had “confessed” to this girl he met at work. This was 3-4 weeks ago, which isn’t long after our breakup. Originally, he said he wanted to be single and that’s why he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore, but he’s already developed feelings for another girl? So I’m wondering if she is a rebound or not..I was with him for about a little over a year, before breaking up. What are my chances of getting him back? My friend also told me that he slept over at the girl’s house in the same room, but she’s not totally sure.
Thanks!
admin
August 13, 2014 at 2:17 pm
Confessed what to a girl at work?
Jenny
August 13, 2014 at 8:33 pm
That he has feelings for her. But this whole time, I had no clue that there actually was something going on between them. A friend just told me who the girl is. She’s kind of like a tomboy, or she seems like she is one anyways. I’m, in his opinion, girly (since I wear dresses all the time and stuff). So I feel like we’re really different. Does that work in my favor?
But my friend also told me that my ex isn’t (let’s call her M) M’s type.
admin
August 14, 2014 at 12:20 pm
I feel most men gravitate towards girly girls as opposed to tomboyish ones… That’s just my opinion.
Jenny
August 14, 2014 at 4:08 pm
Do you think that there’s a high chance that she’s just a rebound then? And that I can still get him back after NC?
admin
August 15, 2014 at 2:35 pm
Well, does she have the signs of a rebound listed on this page?
Jenny
August 15, 2014 at 7:34 pm
Problem with that is, I’m not totally sure. We were together for a little over a year, but I’m not sure if they’re in a relationship right now or not. I haven’t been talking to him because of NC and he unfriended me on Facebook. The last text I got from him was “No closure? Sigh I don’t understand why you can’t even reply. I’m sorry for bothering you. You reply whenever.” All I know for sure is that he started pursuing this new girl within a month of our breakup. And I know that he’s not the type of guy to move on right away…He told me that it took him a whole year to completely get over his ex before me.
Thanks.
Veronica
August 11, 2014 at 10:30 pm
Hi Chris ,
could you please write an article about if we women should be affected by rebound relationships?
How to explain you that ,for us it’s kind of betraying us you know,we are in NC and we still love them and don’t replace them.But they replace us or they flirt with girls around because they are not able to face their feelings and this breaks our trust. I love my ex and I’m really improving myself during NC.But there is a girl around him I know she wants more from him.And I know him very well he was never for very long single.
But what he is doing is disappointing me.
Could you please explain me if I’m right to be disappointed or not ?
Thank you
admin
August 12, 2014 at 12:18 pm
I will put it on the list!
Elana
August 14, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Yes please do and maybe add how we can handle the situation when we get back together, how the girls should approach talking about her feelings and how to gain the trust back
Veronica
August 12, 2014 at 9:16 pm
Thanks š
Jessi
August 8, 2014 at 2:47 pm
Hi Chris, I appreciate all you have done to many women out there who have been or are going through a breakup. I hope you can help me!
My ex and I have been broken up for 10 months now. We see each other mostly all the time since we go to the same gym. Recently my friend told me that my ex used the phrase “my chick and I” where he heard him say in the locker rooms. My friend doesn’t know when he heard him say this but he’s sure that my ex said it a couple of times. And it makes sense because my ex has been acting mysterious a few months ago. He barely spoke to me or looked at me then. But now….he is friendly, and elaborating on his weekend plans and asking if I go out at night or not. He has touched my arm and back a few times and he smiles a lot whenever he sees me. Among other signs, he’s around me more and gives me the look, that lingering look every time we cross paths or while in conversation. If he is with someone, why does he do these things? Shouldn’t he be avoiding me or something? I don’t get it…
admin
August 11, 2014 at 11:29 am
So, your saying that even though you can’t verify you think he has met someone else?
Jessi
August 11, 2014 at 1:14 pm
Yes, I can’t verify anything…especially now considering how he has been acting. Like today, I told him I went to a club on the weekend and he asked me who did I go with. He seems more approachable and confident now, unlike a few months ago when he barely said one word to me or look at me directly. And when I tried to make small talk, he would walk away from me so quickly. And now, totally the opposite! We smile and laugh and kind of flirt. That’s why I am a little confused. So I don’t know what to do…
admin
August 12, 2014 at 11:20 am
Well, whatever you are doing it seems to be working. From everything you said it seems to be positive signs.
Amy
August 5, 2014 at 10:41 am
hey chris. My ex keeps dating many other girls after we broke up. And has become a Hardcore Party Boy.
admin
August 6, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Maybe his way to cope with the breakup?
Amy
August 18, 2014 at 3:22 am
I’ve done the 30day nc and messaged him. We meet for church every sunday. do you think he can commit?
admin
August 18, 2014 at 12:59 pm
Commit to going to church or you?
amy
August 28, 2014 at 9:10 am
I mean commit to me?
Amy
August 19, 2014 at 8:11 am
He said we should be friends even though church is the only time we talk. Can he commit to me?
Rose
August 3, 2014 at 6:25 pm
So my ex and I dated and lived together for 4 years but we’ve known each other since we were 16 (we’re 34&35) and dated briefly back then as well. It’s been 2 1/2 months since the breakup and he’s been with a coworker from day 1 of breakup. They were apparently getting to know each other better for a few weeks before the breakup. After 1 month NC we are back in touch, hang out weekly and have been sleeping together for the whole time (1 1/2 months). Is this other girl a rebound? Do you guys think I have a chance of getting him back? He has never mentioned this other girl to me and has even denied multiple times that he’s seeing anyone. I only found out about her because I checked his email right after he broke up with me. I’m so confused right now and just want advice as to how to proceed. I love him and want him back! Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Rose
August 4, 2014 at 9:21 pm
Any advice? From anyone?
admin
August 6, 2014 at 2:19 pm
Sure!
On what specifically?
Rose
August 6, 2014 at 4:48 pm
On the situation I explained above. Do I have any chances of getting him back or should I give up?
admin
August 11, 2014 at 10:55 am
You have a chance but that doesn’t guarantee success.
(Really no one can guarantee you that.)
Rose
August 11, 2014 at 10:27 pm
Really!! I waited 8 days for this, I already knew that. I was expecting some actual advice.
admin
August 12, 2014 at 12:18 pm
I am happy to give you advice but I may need you to be more specific on what you want my help on. Like super specific. Please realize I have a lot of people asking questions.
Rose
August 12, 2014 at 6:21 pm
I was hoping for more of a “hey sorry but by your story your chances are slim” or “hey, it seems that what you are doing is working and you have a god chance, continue what you’re doing” I just don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted my time. Also wanted to know your thoughts on the other girl. Not sure if she’s a rebound or GIGS. and about us sleeping together all this time after no contact. I am also confused by the rebound timetable above, is the timeframe the amount of time they’ve been together or the amount of time passed before they started the rebound relationship? Thanks! I also apologize if my comment above was a little rude. I’m just a little on edge right now. I’m ok being by myself, I know i don’t need him to be happy but I do love him and would like the best possible chance at getting him back.
Rose
August 10, 2014 at 3:23 am
My original story was posted on the 4th. I have yet to receive any advice. I am desperate at this point and will appreciate any input into my situation. Thanks!
Kristen
August 2, 2014 at 3:35 pm
I now believe my ex may possibly be in a rebound relationship.
He broke up with me and then 3 days after that some girl he works with was writing on his Facebook wall posting heart emojis. When we were dating he was pretty broke for the last few months of our relationship but I never complained about his financial situation, I was still with him supporting him and everything, I never tried to leave him because of it. His work schedule didnāt match up with mine and he was looking into side jobs to get more money, which was fine I just wanted to see him/spend time with him. This girl from his work has a kid, which isnāt a bad thing but I just donāt understand why he would possibly be in a relationship with someone with a child when he canāt really afford stuff much for himself (that I last knew of anyway); I know/understand how that may be part of a RR. Now 15 days into NC (halfway through already!) I havenāt tried to contact him and he hasnāt tried either. I donāt know for sure if he cheated on me or anything with this new girl, but Iām not sure if I want him back if he couldnāt love me the first time and work it out with me or if he cheated on me with this girl?
admin
August 4, 2014 at 2:40 pm
Well, if it is truly a RR it won’t last.
severino
July 29, 2014 at 12:36 am
Heish 2day I nearly fainted this guy is givin me a heartattck I tell u,he left me I was 3mths prgnant until now my angel is 2mths.He is datin 1 lady n the same town and I hear they hav moved 2ghter.Help is that RR?
admin
July 29, 2014 at 7:57 pm
How fast did he date her after the breakup?
severino
July 29, 2014 at 12:25 am
Thx vry much so such a useful advice I belive it I’ll make. Wonders for me
lara pickering
July 22, 2014 at 2:33 am
I just want perspective on this situation…
Personally I am unsure whether this is rebound. They knew each other before and jackpot they worked together, I did question if they cheated..even if it was a month or 2 months before he broke up with me. Its confusing because she doesnt seem like a cheap girl unless its a front, but she posted cheating songs afterwards and he went with her from what i saw on twitter 4 days before he dumped me but i still feel it was longer…anyway, he literally went out for a date with her the next day i saw on twitter fishyyy. Cheap. So hes writing poems for her and they exchange cheesy love and sex songs because i stalk them š lol sad.com so whether he was cheating or went with her just before me or after me within days and they were friends before hand is this a rebound? They SEEM to love each other so? do rebounds say they love each other and why if it IS a rebound? hope im making sense here thanks š X So i feel destroyed inside ..nice people out there š
admin
July 22, 2014 at 2:43 pm
I definitely think there is more that he didn’t tell you.
She could be a rebound though that he will discared in the future. Only time will tell though.