6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

cazzy

December 28, 2015 at 12:56 am

Interesting article. i was married for 20 years when I became VERY ill, my husband totally changed and i found out he was on 15 sex sites. I asked him to leave and at first he and I were friends. 2 months later he met someone on line and moved in immediately. His lies, stories and hot/cold attitude actually have me thinking there is something wrong with hi. After 3 months they are putting overtly sexual things on facebook and he is saying he has wasted the last 20 years and she has changed his life for all to see. I don’t love him but my ego is bruised and he treats our disabled son in second place to her. I have cut all ties, let him get on with it.
Desiree

December 24, 2015 at 6:36 pm

Me and my ex were together for 2 years, he asked my mom for permission to marry me she said yes, few months later we were argueing and stuff and i had a tough year so my emotions were crazy an he felt it and i feel bad for the way i treated him but i really did not mean to an after awhile he broke up with and now im heart broken im still in love with him and want to be with him. We been broken up for about 5-6 weeks now and i found out he got into a relationship right after he broke it off with me. His parents and siblings love me and they want us to be together but they are shocked by what he has done. Him and his new girl has only been dateing for about a month an im so hurt right now an im still in love with him deeply..and we had great memories together so many pictures, so many memories an stuff we gave each other….is this a rebound relationhip that he is in???? How long will it last? Because our feelings were deep for each other he almost got me a engagement ring.
U

December 11, 2015 at 1:16 pm

Hi Chris,
I’m afraid he’ll never come back because everytime he thinks of me, he’ll think of all the fights we had. ?

Chris Seiter

December 11, 2015 at 1:49 pm

That’s why no contact is so important.

JANELLE

December 7, 2015 at 3:41 am

Hello Chris!
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 4 weeks ago. We stayed together for 2 years and 11 months. We were living together for the past year and 11 months. His reasons for breaking up with me was boredom and he told me he doesn’t love me as much as before. That’s what he told me when he broke up with me. I can attest that he didn’t cheat on me. He was very loyal. There were just times when he would communicate with his exes. I still love him and I’m willing to get him back.
However, I already ruined the NC rule, and I told him I missed him.
Presently, he is having this thing going on with another girl from a different city. Yesterday, he booked a flight and met the new girl. He will be staying there for 5 days. He looked so happy now. I am not communicating with him for a few days now.

Is it something serious? From the looks of it, he is entertaining the idea of dating for marriage. He had some hints and posts on facebook about this. He just started chatting this girl on facebook 2weeks after our break up, and he spent a huge amount of money just to see the girl. I have accepted the fact that it might be something serious but I still love him. When I discovered he went to meet her, I decided to just live on with my life and be happy. However, if I can have a chance to get him back, I will.

Can you call it as something serious or a rebound? A new long distance romantic relationship which started so soon after our break up? Oh! They are still not official but my ex looks determined to make their relationship official. She is very interested with my ex-bf as well.

Thank you Chris!

JANELLE

December 7, 2015 at 11:56 pm

I hope so too.
Nowadays, I’m hearing from common friends that he is really serious about her and that he’s seeing her as someone he can marry. The fact that he spent a big amount of money to meet her and spend time with her is something serious.

Well, we used to talk a lot about our future together. We already had plans about our house, kids, and all our dreams. So the idea of them breaking up is not impossible. But it who knows. He can make his new relationship work if he wants to.

We were always together most of the time, we did most of our hobbies together like sports, exercise and trying out new places to eat.
I let him go because maybe he needs his time alone. We saw each other everyday and did things together that sometimes we can’t do something special anymore. It just hurts knowing that he’s seeing someone else so soon.
He said his respect for me lessened because I was too understanding and supportive to the point where I lost my superiority in our relationship. I agree with that.

Right now, I am following your advises and tips from your website. I just hope I’m not too late. I’m on NC now, and while at it, I am working on improving myself. I really want my best friend and boyfriend back.
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 3:46 pm

Seems more like a rebound period to me.

Anqi

November 26, 2015 at 8:31 am

Hi Chris,
I was dating a guy for 7 months and have recently broken it off with him. I know it probably doesn’t matter any more but part of me was wondering whether what we had was a rebound relationship. He had been 6 months out of a 3-year relationship when he met me. During the 7 months we spent together, he had mentioned a couple of times that he wasn’t ready for anything serious and that he would rather go with the flow. He was very much focused on self improvement outside work which he said he didn’t get to do much of when he was with the ex. When we met, he was going out and partying a lot, and once we started dating he became all serious about self improvement. I don’t know if these were red flags but eventually we broke it off and he said he didn’t love me as much as I did him and that he doesn’t see us getting married.
Help Please

November 25, 2015 at 9:06 pm

Dear Chris,

I wanted to ask for advice.
My Ex and I were together, 8 years on and off, know each other fro 10. We both made mistakes and are both mature adult right now. I’m older as the girl. He’s dated in the middle of our breaks and he’s dated more women but seems to break up and then come back to me. This year he came to me differently and said he wanted to marry me and give out allis feelings like he never would and he really said he loves me. I was in shock and told him I needed to think (considering other circumstances if we were ready, I’m a very sensible person compared to him), and he got so angry and said after he told me his real feeling and how much he really loved me… all those things feeling I rejected him. But I never did, and just needed to think, he wanted a quick answer. So we broke up. I do love him, but true enough I need us to be ready before jumping. But I did the no contact rule. My friends told me he was really angry getting so drunk and reckless, one woman after the other and lying to them saying this and that. Usually he’s smarter than that. Then this last few months, I decided okay I’ll start meeting people. Our friends forced us to talk and get in contact. It’s been months, so I said ok. He started getting angry at me, so I backed off and he blames me that I did shit to him. I was just practical, we were both adults and I didn’t wan train wreck and him having doubts if we did get married. It seems yes his ego got bruised. So we just raised friends, we were talking. Then my friends noticed something dubious about this young girl flirting with him on social media and he would flirt back. He kept telling my friends he loved me but he didn’t want to date anybody now. Then the truth finally comes out. Last two months of no contact after his declaration of love to me and when he started being reckless again, he dated a girl for two month at the same time cheating with a young girl that is very let’s say not so intelligent, no life goals, declares her love for him on social media, even stuff that are sexual and he kept denying her, but my friends found out from his friends that he really was juggling two girls like crazy then even gets into a bind with one and quits his job and now he’s with the girl he’s cheated with. I walked away from all of this, but somehow, I felt sorry of the “loser” he was becoming. I loved him for 8 years and this was not him. So I’m trying to help him out, he asked me if I was dating, I said I’m meeting people seeing people. My friends told him that I was trying to maybe see this one guy that was real good and not him I guess and he retaliates by telling me he just started dating the young girl. So I say okay, I admit I don’t like her or respect her cause she knew the guys had another girl but it seems like the desperate kind or case. So I just stay on my side, then suddenly he becomes nice to me and starts checking on me again. I don’t talk about guys I meet cause I just don’t find it right. The new girl gets crazy and messages my friends and his friends saying they are in love…. So they new girl says this and that, and I’m just on my side of the border and I just listen to him and he talks about his work and I guess, he can’t talk to her about intelligent stuff. Today though, since I’m in another country now for the last few months since we just stopped talking and have just been keeping in touch through FaceTime or text, I told him, I’ll come back and visit you and we can talk. I can take a holiday. Then he sort of says we’ll see, it’s about work, then after a few hours, he tells me that he’ll have to talk to this new young girl cause the girl is thoroughly jealous of me. Okay I understand that, but he’s completely changed. It’s so fast the girl just says I love you, but when we talk he juts says he cares and everything he does with the girl is not him anymore. Everything he didn’t like in a girl in the past the clinginess, the proclamation of love on social media, the girl being so dumb she can’t spell, since he’s actually smart, he suddenly dates this kind. All his friends are calling both of them train wrecks. So I really don’t understand. I have mixed feelings should I stay in his life and maybe see if we still will get this better relationship after 8 years, or is he on the rebound with this kid? I’m still here in his life cause I’m really worried about him and how reckless he’s turned out to be. He could do better and be smarter and I admit I do love him still. But after finding about about everything when I was gone, I just maybe feel concern that he’s spiralling like crazy, or having this empty, midlife crisis syndrome. So I really need help I don’t know what to do. I’d fight to make his life better as I said cause I love him and that concern is also out of love. Please help and enlighten me.
Sasha

November 24, 2015 at 8:09 pm

My ex and I were together 5 months, and I became needy a couple of months ago, and he told me he needed a break. So, I did the 30 days of no contact, and we since then we have talked by text some, not bad conversation. He has ignored some of my text messages and some he has answered quickly, but 3 weeks ago I texted him and he quickly responded and right after getting into the texting he said “I should tell you that I am dating someone…but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” I then asked him if the it was serious and he responded “possibly going that way….we have known each other for many years.” That night that he told me that we ended up talking for an hour, just catching up with each other since we hadn’t really done that yet. So, now I am conflicted……he also said that if we our relationship wasn’t going anywhere that we could still be friends, and I guess that is where we are now. I just don’t understand why he even wants to be friends, when that same night that I was texting him aftern he told that he was dating someone, I told him that I still have feelings for him. I am not sure if this is a rebound relationship or not. I guess what I am asking…..is there any hope or do I just need to give up on him? I asked him what us being friends meant and he said that he wouldn’t block my number and would respond to text messages, and he also said that we wouldn’t talk everyday or even once a week. How could he already think that this relationship could be serious when he hasn’t been talking to her that long, probably just a month or little more. I know that they never dated in the time that they have known each other.
Fiona Fitzpatrick

November 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm

Hi Chris,

Me an my old boyfriend went out for just a little over a year. He broke up with me almost exactly 2 months ago. The reasons he gave was he didn’t feel he’d have enough time for a girlfriend in college this year, that he wasn’t that into the relationship anymore and he wouldn’t have time to do anything anyway. A short while afterwards we still corresponded but then his behaviour completely changed and we stopped talking. I know how stupid Facebook is but it took him basically the 2 months to take all his photos of us down. Then 2 days ago I decided I should commit to going off Facebook for a while, I cracked yesterday, and when I went on,the first thing I saw was that he’s in a relationship. This shocked me and made me angry. He just straight up lied. Its barely been 2 months. I’ve blocked him on Facebook, not for a reaction, purely the fact that it really hurt. We’re both 21.
Kate

November 8, 2015 at 5:00 am

Hi Chris,
My question is Lind of off topic but you seem like a smart guy Lol. I’ve like this guy since he was my first friend in kindergarten. We grew apart in high school but ended up going to the same college. Our junior year of high school he started dating this girl and they broke up our sophomore year of college. He told me every detail of the breakup one night and ended the story with, “She dumped me tei days ago… oh yeah and me and Amanda are dating now.” That was a year and a half ago…. so… is this a just really long rebound? Should I just give up and try to move on or what?
LoveLife

November 7, 2015 at 9:56 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex dumped me after 2 years. Hes a bit…strange. Hes not great with emotions but we had a slight disagreement which he totally hit below the belt with to maybe distract what was really going on and then he split up with me!!! Anyway, only 5weeks after we split he met a girl on a night out and start going out with her straight away i mean fb status and all!! Shes not unlike me but not very like me at the same time anyway he had her ring me with like no good reason which is how i found out. They are together now only about 2 or 3 weeks and ive had to block all apps barr calls because im not being dragged into this drama i wont let common hatred of me fuel their success. But this hurts, so bad ive had to see a therapist to find why it would hurt this much….do you think this could be a rebound even though he broke up with me? Ive ignored his calls since and havnt recieved any messages. Would appreciate your help as i need to focus on me for a bit, some understanding would really help.
Lena

November 5, 2015 at 8:26 pm

Hello
My ex broke up with me after 16 years on and off the last 8 years straight 2 kids and while we were broke up I got pregnant before we broke up I found out he was cheating on me with a younger girl a month before we broke up we were talking about marriage and maybe two months after he meets this girl he tells her he wants to elope and that he loves her he wants to take my kids around her and I’m not to happy with that but I will not keep them away from him he is a very good dad I just don’t like that I have to sacrifice the way I feel all the time I’m now 6 months pregnant and she is also pregnant I think she’s like 2 months along she moved in with him a couple days after I moved out it has now been 10 months since he’s been dealing with her and I think he only sticking around because everytime they have a problem and he leaves her alone she claims shea pregnant this is the third time but this time she really is she also was taking progesterone to get pregnant behind his back and he found out but he still with her he tries to make it seem like he so happy with her but deep down I know he’s not he’s always at my house and we are still sexually active I know I need to stop I just feel as though why should she have him completely the way I did she doesn’t deserve that I tried the no contact rule but it’s hard when you have kids together I just really want to move on with my life and get him out of my system like today I don’t know why I can’t I feel a little stuck I would love to get back together but I don’t think it’s gonna happen especially with her having his child also I’m so confused I need some incite on what to do and how to go about things
Enamorada

October 30, 2015 at 10:31 pm

I want to know if my friend is in a rebound relationship – he was dating a girl for 11 years and she treated him so bad. In the last 2 years he had an affair with a lovely girl and he admitted that he wished he had known her before the girlfriend. He said to her that they couldn’t be together although he never gave her an explanation. They work together, I imagine it’s for that. He was unhappy but he was too afraid to break it off. Eventually his girlfriend left him and she has someone new already. The thing is my friend has been ‘seeing’ this new girl. He has told nobody but I have found out by accident. He is always whatsapping her and sending kisses etc, but I also found out something else. He has been buying sex toys of a rought nature which he must be using with her. Am I right in thinking that, despite the messages etc, he is just in it with this girl for the physical side. Surely wanting to hit someone and control them can’t be love – especially in the very beginnning. Thanks
Yvonne

October 27, 2015 at 2:09 pm

Hi Chris! I’ve been on this website a few times trying to understand my ex and get him back. Anyways, my ex is still completely in love with me and I’m still completely in love with him. One problem, he got his rebound pregnant. He isn’t 100% sure if it is his or not, but he’s taking on the responsibility just in case. It has been really hard. Obviously my ex and I won’t be getting back together. Any advice on how I can cope?

Chris Seiter

December 4, 2015 at 1:56 pm

Wow that’s a terrible situation you two are in. I’d recommend dating other people to get your mind off of him. Make a schedule for yourself, plan to do something every day to keep yourself occupied. Start a new hobby. Go out with friends. Time heals all wounds. Sorry you are in this situation!

Penny

October 24, 2015 at 2:06 pm

Chris,
My ex and I have been broken up for one month now after being together for 5 1/2 years. He immediately started seeing a younger girl that he works with. In fact, he contacted her within 24 hours of us breaking up so I’m sure he had her lined up. She was an acquaintance of mine but I was suspicious of her since I knew she was attracted to him and she had just gotten out of a relationship herself (she was supposed to get married, which is around the time she and ex started flirting). I want to believe this is a rebound relationship and that he is mending his broken heart, but I can’t. I see this turning into something more because they work together. One of two things can happen, their relationship blossoms into something more or they will both have to work in an uncomfortable, awkward environment until eventually one of them leaves. As far as I’m concerned, he is having the best time with this girl. His entire family has refused to meet her and are still on my side, telling me I need to move on since I deserve better. I know him well and believe he will never come back. I have truly lost hope, however, a part of me knows how much of an impact I had on him and there’s no way he has cut out his feelings for me and fully moved on, right? I have done my best to avoid being the crazy ex girlfriend. Well, not entirely true. A week after we broke up, I found out about them and confronted both. Turned into a big fight with him (now 3 weeks ago) and he told me I ruined any chances of things working out between us and he did not want me in his life anymore. That I needed to move on with my life. He’s the type of guy who holds onto his pride and ego. He could be hurting deeply inside but will never show a single soul, which is why I want to believe this girl is filling that void. Sigh, not sure. Thoughts?
Saffy

October 22, 2015 at 8:16 pm

Hi Chris,

Saw in one of your previous comments, so congrats on the birth of your daughter!
My boyfriend and I had a 10 month long-distance relationship.
He did meet the girl he is now with while he was still in a relationship with me, as she was one of his flatmates. I do not believe he has cheated, but he broke up with me one month ago claiming he was “having doubts”. So probably broke up so he would not cheat…
We went our separate ways, me avoiding all contact and working on myself, he trying out things with the flatmate. Two or three weeks after, he reinitiates contact, having decided he wanted me after all. In hindsight, I clearly played my cards wrong and made it all too easy for him to get me back.
After a week of trying to work things out with me… he pulls a Houdini, not even having the integrity of saying anything to my face.
And today, two weeks after… lo and behold, relationship status update on facebook?! Is this really a rebound?
He’s not a facebook person, she is, but he is going all the way public. This also, marked the day I stopped looking at his profile, less than helpful in me getting myself back on track.

Thanks for the insights!

Saffy

womyn

December 5, 2015 at 3:07 am

I’m sorry about what you went through, Saffy.
I can relate. How are you coping now?
What did you do in order to heal?
Pain can be unbearable, especially when this significant other used to hold you in the highest regard.
xx

Meagan

October 21, 2015 at 1:21 am

Hi Chris,

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago after being in a relationship for almost 7years. This is our 2nd break up. We broke up for the 2nd time because he had cheated on me with another woman. He is currently in a new relationship with the girl he left me for which I think is a rebound relationship. I remember during the summer contacted me twice wanting to sleep with me even though he has a new gf. I ignored his text msg to sleep with him because we were no longer together and because he has a new gf. He said he was possibly having second thoughts just after being in a new relationship for 2months. He seemed very confused at the time. Then for the first time in months he came by my job yesterday because he was in the area. I was very excited to see him and he was happy to see me. He spoke of his current relationship and told me he loves his new girlfriend, felt that she is the one, and that he was happy. It broke my heart and I began to cry. He didn’t really react too much to my tears. I told him I thought our break was to work on ourselves but he instead he decided to jump into a new relationship with someone new. He thought I didn’t want to ever work things out. There was just so much miscommunication when we broke up. He did apologize over the summer in text message for cheating on me and said he still feels guilty. I decided to continue to ask him more questions to get an idea of where his head was with his new relationship and where he sees me.
He did mention he has been fighting with his girlfriend often. I think the honeymoon phase has finally ended between the both of them. He told me he doesn’t want me to leave the picture and that he worries about me. He requested twice that I add him back to my social media accts because I blocked him. He wants to see me again and wants me to stay in contact as well. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable staying in contact since he has a new girlfriend. He thinks I am overthinking things. He told me to text him whenever and that he thinks of me often and has driven by my home to see if I am around. He mentioned he looks at the old pictures of us he keeps hidden on his pc from his new girlfriend. He continues to use my nickname in text messages that he would call me when we were together. He never calls me by my first name in any of his text messages.
Today I decided to cut off all contact with him again because I am so confused. This will be my second time of the NC rule since our break up. He keeps giving me mixed signals. He says he loves me but also loves his new girlfriend. I told him I think it’s best I walk away and allow him to be happy with his new gf. He said he understood and thinks I should keep trying to date other men. He plans to give me space as well and that he is tired of crying about the past. In the last few hours I have not texted him and he has not texted me as well. I feel he thinks I won’t stick with the NC rule either. He has the tendency to end the NC rule by just showing up at my home late at night or contacting me by a late night call or text.

Do you think he has moved on and is confused about what he wants? Do you agree that he is currently in a rebound relationship? Any advice or suggestions is greatly appreciated.
kika

October 9, 2015 at 3:16 pm

Hello.
I have question my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago.. we been together almost a year..we argue like all relationships do I was clingy and annoying sometimes sending to many messages but I really cared and loved him. and now week after we broke up he start seeing younger girl from work. Is he in rebound relationship.. ? I’m devastated bc 3days before brake up he was telling me that he love me and that I’m one and only.. 🙁 whatvi should do now.. how I suppose to act now..? Please help me..
Tamara

October 5, 2015 at 10:26 am

Hi Chris!

About a month ago my boyfriend and I broke up, after being together for just short of 4 and a half years (we are both 24 years old). He broke up with me, and it was completely out of the blue. Our relationship had always been easily, we rarely fought and what disagreements we did have, we would discuss and work through together. We had many, many, many good memories together, lots of happy holidays spent away with each other and with family, songs, outings, food etc that connected us and leave lasting impressions.

When we broke up, it took him 3 days to decide he was done with me. As in, he told me one day that he was unhappy, so we talked about it, I asked what he felt was lacking or needed from our relationship, as there hadn’t been any previous warning signs (everyone was shocked that we broke up!). I told him he should give it some time and think about it, speak to his parents and friends, try gain some perspective, and within 3 days he came back and broke things off. That initial day he even told me didn’t want to break up. Needless to say, I was devastated.

Within two weeks he already was with another girl (20 years old – about the age we were when we started dating), and within the month they have already gone away with each other. It’s crushed me to see he has moved on so quickly, it must surely be a rebound? I have blocked him, unfriended him and deleted everything, and after a month I asked for my stuff back. When we met he cried and cried (I did not), and told me he doesn’t think he is happy and he feels terrible, and yet he is still with her and has gone away with her? His friends and family were shocked about them being together, his mom has since sent me a message saying they miss me (twice).

I was just wondering what your thoughts were? A little male perspective here would be so helpful, as I cannot understand his motives or actions, and trying to make sense of it all is exhausting.
Stephanie

October 2, 2015 at 7:45 pm

My boyfriend of 2 years left me just over 3 weeks ago. We had an amazing time together (lived together) which may have been too soon. We were absolutely obsessed with each other. We planned for the future and talked about getting serious all the time we went on holidays and he even flew to the other side of the world to meet my mum. People were always saying to us that we would get married and that we were the perfect couple. His family loves me and I absolutely love his family. His mum has been in tears over us breaking up his brother has contacted me and his sister. And then in April he lost his grandad who he was extremely close with, I was there for him as much as I could be but at times he didn’t want me to comfort him as he tends to bottle things up. To add to the grief his uncle got cancer and he then lost his job. During the last weeks of our relationship he was very distant, (he was distant since his grandad died) but he didn’t want anything to do with me. He was going round his friends every weekend and i hardly ever saw him. Now, the confusing part. Just under 2 weeks after we broke up he is with another girl. The friend he was always going to – his sister. Although I really don’t think he would physically cheat on me I think something was there. He’s blocked me from everything so I couldn’t see what he was up to. He’s already taken her to meet the family but none of them can forget about me. His mum rang me crying, his sister has been at my door crying and his brother is always offering to go out with me. I totally understand he has been through a rough time and that can take its toll but I really couldn’t of done more for him. I have been through a lot with his family with his dad being very ill last year. I apologise for this being very long winded but I thought the details would help. We ended well and there has never been hostility between us, and I have been enforcing a strict no contact rule.
Susan p

September 16, 2015 at 5:23 pm

Desperately searching for answers: My boyfriend and I are both 66 we had known each other when we were in our twenties. We were together for a little more than a year. My problem was I had just got a divorce. My bf and I got together but I wasn’t ready to commit and had things to settle with family issues so I stepped out of the relationship for a couple of months. When things were good I felt I was ready to return to the relationship but opened his Facebook page only to find within that two months he had married. Only two months, I struggled with that, I needed answers. So, I ask him
Why? He said I made a mistake I still love you! We were seeing each other secretly but I called it off. Is he in a rebound relationship

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:43 pm

Hi Susan,

Sorry for the late response.

My daughter was born and still trying to get a grip on how this all works. Seems definitely like a rebound BUT he married her… I wouldn’t give him anything physical until he is yours and yours alone.

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