61 thoughts on “How To Act Around Your Ex”

1. 

   Shanice

   December 18, 2018 at 2:34 am

   My boyfriend and I dated for three months before we broke up before Thanksgiving. Although it was not the longest of time, we were together very often so it felt as if it were longer, and we got to know each other really well. I can honestly say that I felt as if I was possibly falling in love with him, and by certain comments he made it seemed like he felt the same. He decides that we should break up because he was stressed about his job, and feels like it would be unfair to me to not get attention because he is stressing. He says that he was trying to consider my feelings and I appreciate that, but honestly it just kind of seems like a cop out. I understand job stress, but I kind of see that as a circumstance that could change at any time. He was unwilling to hear anything I said out, and was unchanging in his decision to break up. I have been extremely hurt and depressed, and I can say that I have never experienced a heartbreak such as this. I texted him briefly during the week after about a health issue and the conversation was fine. Then I texted him to ask if we could talk about what was going on with us, and did not receive a response. Yesterday, he texted me apologizing for not being more open to listening to me. I told him I appreciated it, and asked if he wanted to talk, and I wanted a straight answer. He told me that no, he still wasn’t in the place where he wanted to talk about it, but he knew he was wrong and knew he had to tell me that. Honestly, I was very upset by this because why apologize if you don’t want to speak on why it was wrong and how? What is your take on this?

1. 

   Chris Seiter

   December 19, 2018 at 2:36 am

   Hi Shanice!

   Your ex seems inflexible about really talking through all this. Perhaps a brief period of no contact might be helpful here to get some space and let the tensions come down.

2. 

   Jess

   August 20, 2018 at 8:46 pm

   First off I have spent a year reading articles like this daily so I feel like I know everything, but I still am clueless with how to get myself out of the mess I’ve made. My did ex come back on his own after 6 months of no contact, but after two months we weren’t officially back together and I started dating another guy who reminded me how someone who is really into you behaves. When I am not available my ex wants me to stop seeing him and we can officially be back together again. I didn’t fall for the trap and cut contact with my ex. Me and this other guy broke up shortly thereafter for a month, got back together for a week (lol) and now are definitely never speaking to each other again. 4 weeks ago – exactly when me and the other guy got back together, my ex sent me an innocent snap and I replied 2 days later to talk about a band who we were both seeing in concert but on different nights (I knew that already), that led to a few days of talking a tiny bit about music. Of course this is the same week I’m back with guy #2. Then a few days later I texted him a gardening question, as we started a garden together when we were dating, and he taught me a lot and I’ve kept it going without him. I pushed my luck and asked if he would help with something, he asked one more question, I answered it and that was that almost 2 weeks ago – no response. I figure if he wanted to see me he would have jumped on that, but he doesn’t know what the status of my other relationship is, and if he’s stalking me it would look like I was still dating. I don’t know how to tell him I’m single. I don’t want him to think that only reason I want him is because things didn’t work with the other guy, because my lingering strong feelings for him are one of the reasons that relationship ended. I know it was a huge blow to his ego when I “wanted to be with someone else more than him” and I’m scared he’ll never see me the same, or at least in a positive light. I’m working on myself, and posting only positive fun stuff on social media. Please help!

1. 

   Chris Seiter

   August 20, 2018 at 11:31 pm

   Hi Jess!

   There is a lot going on here, so my advice you take a step back and evaluate how my program can benefit you best. Go to my home page and look at some of the tools and resources I make available. I think you will want to invest some quality time in seeking to rebuild trust with him and that usually occurs over time in small doses, with consistency. I think you are off to a good start with your social media strategy and eventually that should lead up to a initial contact message and building from there.