The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Alicia

March 3, 2014 at 1:44 am

Ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I went 17 days of no contact but then felt compelled to text him because of his mother’s birthday (she passed away 4 years ago). Wished him well and he responded positively. I didn’t mention anything about the breakup or me missing him at all. Was just concerned about his well being that day. Do I still have to start NC all over even though his response was good?

admin

March 3, 2014 at 6:28 pm

No I don’t think you do.

Joy

February 28, 2014 at 1:32 am

i purchased your book…im now in NC period…and do you know what i saw? pictures of him with another girl…so can ypu tell me if there is still a chance of this 🙁 i want him back that’s why i spent my money on your book. please assist. thanks

admin

February 28, 2014 at 10:53 pm

Were the pictures casual?
Joy

March 1, 2014 at 8:12 am

no kindaa sweet…so what should i do now? please advice thanks

Sarah

February 26, 2014 at 4:39 am

Ah hello again 🙂
I posted back on here around July 1st but was unable to find the post. I was in communication with you until about November regarding my exboyfriend.

We were together for nine months, were long distance for about two months, went to Jamaica together, and he randomly broke up with me a week after the trip out of the blue.

He has a lot of abandonment issues regarding his mom and I think with us being separated and with his latest mom issues that arose, he pulled away and he couldn’t deal with things and that is the reason why we broke up.

After three months of therapy and no communication from him, this is all still hard. I’m in a better spot, but I still love and miss him; though he has treated me badly after the breakup for whatever reason.

I don’t know if you remember the case specifically with mine, but I followed your advice. I wasn’t needy, didn’t contact him, and kept trying to improve myself. He took the breakup as a time to get drunk and upset everytime someone brought me up and he saw me.

It literally tore me apart because I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I think now looking back him contacting a lot after we broke up was his attempt to get back together with me.. And maybe it is ass backwards of me to say this but I wish I had kept in contact and hadn’t told him to give me my space after we broke up.

I’ve been talking to other guys and been physical with them but I am unable to still get him out of my head.. Is this normal? I guess the lack of any real closure doesn’t help me at all, but it’s nuts. I still love him just as much as when we were together..

Any and all advice would be much needed.

admin

February 27, 2014 at 7:26 pm

You should check out my updated guide I just released.
sarah

February 28, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Im on it. What do you think I migbt gain from this new guide

Marie

February 25, 2014 at 3:37 pm

My (ex)boyfriend and I were together for about 2 years and 2 months. I can be honest and say the relationship was never an easy one. I can take most of the responsibility for the end of the relationship; I can be very selfish, have a hard time being a nurturer and most definitely took him for granted. There were a few times in the past where he would run out of patience and say he wanted out but would eventually tell me he wanted us and our relationship to work. Now, after the last time things have come to a head he says he is finally out of patience (February 6th). We dated long distance for 6 months before we moved in together. The hardest part for me about the split is that this is the only person I have been with (I’ve had another serious relationship that lasted for 4 years that I knew wasn’t going anywhere) that has made me see my future and it was with him. We spoke about marriage, having children, starting a financial future together. Now, he says that he doesn’t think we were ever on the same page financially, though we were in my mind – I just was taking a lot longer to reach the goals he wanted me to. We were still living together up until last Saturday, but now the being apart feels like I have lost a part of my soul. He has said that he still loves me and misses me, but that he needs space. He was upset yesterday when I was picking things up from the house after I told him it’s been hard getting used to not seeing/talking to him everyday. He responded that we HAVE seen each other every day and talked everyday that there has been no space whatsoever. I can admit that I am missing him so much its hard to give him the space he needs. I’m afraid that once he is given the space he needs he will think life is better without me. I want nothing more than to be able to show him that I love him more than anything, that I want our future together and want to take care of him the way he deserves because that’s what he gave me. Where do I go from here?

Marie

February 25, 2014 at 3:40 pm

I guess I should further clarify and say that he has said to me, “we can come out of this being really great friends”. He has said that I will thank him for this break one day whether we end up together or not, that this is something we both need. I know he is absolutely right, we have been on an emotional rollercoaster lately. I just need to know how/if I can bring us back from this. I know that it will take time, but that’s what hurts the worst, I feel that he is my soul mate!

Lac

February 25, 2014 at 8:55 am

Your website is really great. I dated a guy who was among a circle of friends. We were friends first then I fell in love with him. We had an on again off again romance for about 3 years. We are both about 50 years old never married. I thought for sure it would work out. There were some problems in the relationship – the biggest one being secretive behavior on his part and some questionable friends. In the end he chose his loyalty to his buddies over me (or so he says) and would never speak another word to me. This was the most unusual and painful romantic experience I ever expected as an adult woman. I missed him for ages and thought we would get back together. I had really thought we might get married. Impossible as it seems. I believe I will have to shift my attention elsewhere because I do not believe he is coming back regardless of what I do. I have not been going out much and really feel it is so difficult to rev it up again at this point in my life when I would really like to have a solid partner. However I realize this man is unresponsive to silence, kindness. flattery or love. I became very exhausted trying to make him happy – he was noncommittal – and I just sort of quit one day. I think he was hurt and really never got over it. Then his friends started trash talking me and that sort of sealed the deal. He would never utter a word to me again and it has been 2 years. Although I felt he was an extraordinary man, if he does not feel that way about me too there is no sense in accepting anything less than a full serving of love and affection. I just have to believe that there is someone else out there for me. The no contact rule is very strange but worked on and off in our relationship when things got a little tense at times. In the end however I do believe he is the one who really wanted no contact at all and the simple reason may be that the relationship has run it’s course. It is difficult to accept, but I can certainly not play second fiddle to the “guys”, and that is where I believe we part company. Very helpful and interesting article. Thank you.

admin

February 25, 2014 at 6:57 pm

Do you regret never getting married? Do both of you regret it? Is it something you are both looking for?

Sorry, I am very interested in both of your mindsets though.
Lac

February 25, 2014 at 7:33 pm

I am so sad that I am not married. My parents are divorced as are his. I am not close with my family. My Godmother passed away recently and my grandparents, who were wonderful people are deceased. I have had bad luck in the reproduction department (5 surgeries). I was always hopeful I would find someone for me to be close with. i hate being alone and I do not feel that is what God intended for me. I had more than one proposition, but knew they were not right for me and so declined. I do not regret that. When I met this man and grew interested in him, I was so happy that it was finally “happening”. We even talked about getting married. When he left I became extremely depressed. He always had a great talent as a musician but was not rolling in money, which did not matter to me as I really loved him and besides I was sure he would be successful and always gave him all the encouragement in the world. He got a very good contract, told me all about it, then instead of taking me along he hit the road. His mind set? You’ll have to ask him.

Just because a person is not married does mean they prefer it that way. Marrying the wrong person so I would not be alone would have been a big mistake. A lot of men where I live (New York City) love to date around for a long time. Especially if they have a lot of money they feel they can always get a “better” girl. I do not understand this mindset. Love is a genuine emotion so I guess if a person thinks they can buy it, then they don’t know what it is. Or maybe they really don’t want it. I live in hope.
admin

February 27, 2014 at 7:12 pm

I am with you. I think you shouldn’t ever settle when it comes to something like marriage.

monique

February 25, 2014 at 6:43 am

Just got my heart broken.togather
For only seven months..he just said one day

We should go are separate ways…i was
Sad, crying…very hurt.i begged him
Back…okay we got back togather…
Things were going okay but i would
Text he and he wouldn’t text back .
Feel like he was ignoring me.then he would
Text back ….i tryed asking him why
He acts the way he does.gets upset
And tells me, his done wit me…dont
Know what to do anymore…Sux but
Im hurting…i think how can he just
Leave me like im nothing…
debra samith

February 24, 2014 at 5:04 pm

I followed the 30 day no contact then emailed my ex (whom we were together only 2 months) saying exactly what was stated on this site to say basically saying I was thinking of him and it made me smile and his response was “Glad to know we are still friends.” I said I had to go to lunch with friends and said good bye….but what the heck does this mean? Does he only want to be friends now???
Lina

February 23, 2014 at 9:05 pm

Hi,
its been an year to our breakup but i still want to have my boy friend back, during this time i had been too desparate to get him back and coudnt able to make the no contact rule, i have been texting him alot and asking him to come back but he said, he wont.
And after he just stopped responding me and ignored my messages then after 8 months i stopped texting him for 2 months but cudnt stopped myself to text him.though he didnt respond but after 2 weeks i got his message with a casual talk.I asked him to meet me, he said he woul but delayed it for 2 weeks and then we met we had a casual talk.i regurly text him now but he just gives me this one word reply.He has added me back on facebook himself but i guess he is having second thoughts.
Can i have any strategy tips from you that what should i do?I know we have alot of common things we enjoy with each other but he requires space which i do not give i guess.But i am ready to do anything to get him back.Please help me out.

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Well, obviously give him some space haha. Are you doing NC. And have you read my latest guide?
Lina

March 6, 2014 at 5:07 am

nope m not following NC.ur latest guide?

Gabrielle

February 23, 2014 at 2:52 pm

Ok i have dated this guy a total 6 times and they were all on amd off he broke with me and he flat out told me why he always said i never talked to him and he needed to figure things out by himself i didnt talk to him for a whole month and then when i finally thought i could date again i saw he had been flirting with my cousin while we were dating. I was so upset and me and my cousin did not speak for a whole 3 months!! I was hurt beyond reason and it took me weeks to get over what happened :'( i still cry a lot over him n i feel like i can not let him go but when i started dating another guy Dustin(my ex) was all i could think about and when he saw me with my new boyfriend he got upset n looked like he would cry … he tells me he lpves me now but this is the hardest thing ever becaise my best friend likes Dustin and i am scared as hell he will date her n never ever speak to me again i am going to try what you said becase i need him in my life :'( but idk what to do about this!!

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:33 pm

SIX TIMES!!!!

Oh my god that is a lot.

What goes wrong with you two so often?

Lisa

February 23, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Hi Chris

I was dating a bloke for 3 months first couple of dates were good. Things were going ok he had a few issues which I don’t want to go into. Anyway I was out one evening went onto whatsapp and his profile picture showed him and another girl he then blocks me. I sent him 3 texts messages I was really drunk and gave him some abuse as I was upset. Since the last text I sent him I haven’t had no contact with him for 2mimths. I’ve been thinking about him recently and want to see how he has been. But I have a gut feeling he is seeing someone else. Im not sure how to approach the situation. I don’t want to come across desperate. At the moment I still care about him and I really want to send him a light hearted text. What would you suggest?

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Have you read my latest guide?

Amelia

February 23, 2014 at 1:40 am

Hey so my ex broke up with me last dec and said we would be friends etc but kept refusing to see me. I did the usual crazy begging pleading thing which didn’t work and ended up giving up. He started sleeping with a girl he works with 2 weeks after we broke up and tells everyone he likes her and spends every living moment with her. He broke up with me cuz he said I was too dramatic, over the top and immature but this girl is the very definition of all those things. Plus she has a 5 year old (she’s 21) and is known by everyone because she’s so easy.
I started no contact with him and stopped stalking his fb and I went on a holiday, it’s been 3 weeks now. But prior to nc working, I’d seen him a few times and tried to initiate chats (probably a month since we broke up) but his replies were vague and short. What can I do to make him miss me and want me back? We dated for a year and a half and I feel like he just wanted to see other people for a bit…

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:24 pm

I don’t think he will last with this new girl.
Amelia

February 25, 2014 at 2:13 pm

I believe that too but things just make me feel otherwise. She lives about half an hour drive from him (she doesn’t drive) so he has to drive her around which he does. Just seems like he’s making so much effort with her. He used to tell me he just likes going home after work and just sleeping. But now he’s going to hers after work. He used to say like throughout our relationship that he hates constantly texting, and she lives on her phone. Also, he hardly puts photos up (a few of us over the year and a half) and he’s already put up two pics of her and one of her and her daughter. Why do this? I’m still in NC up to week 3 but I’m consideration stretching the NC between 2 and 3 months – haven’t even looked on his fb so I’m doing well 🙂

Nama

February 22, 2014 at 6:58 pm

Hi Chris.
Thanks to u I was able to go through the no contact.
I jus can’t believe I was able to go through the no contact rule. Instead of 30 days I did it almost 60 days.

through it, he called and texted but I decided not to get distracted till I was sure that I’m done with NCR.

We started talking after and I realised we want different things. But we have moved passed the awkward stage… well at least I have.

Everything was goin on as planned till yesterday night when he called that he misses me. N wanted to spend the night which I agreed.
He came. We talked before i realised we were making out. which lasted for over 2 hrs. He left 6 am early in the morning.

N today he isn’t fine because he feels bad about what happened. “he is now born again and wana wait till he gets married”.

I feel like I’ve ruined everything I tried to accomplish with the NCR n making him love me again.

Chris should I start the no contact over again. We are In the same class in college though.
or its too late to do that.

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:08 pm

No, I think you just need to read my latest guide.

lynn

February 22, 2014 at 2:17 pm

My x broke up with me after ten months.our realtionship started with lots of partying. I found him talking to other females at first so that caused me not to trust him as well.he did get sober and then he started being very insecure jealous going through my phone starting fights so we took a two week break and got back together we always Had a great time when we were together on the weekends but durning the week we didn’t see eachother and that seemed to cause a lot of trust issues between us. I felt since he would go through my phone and be jealous I acted the same way.he is very angry and I would play little games here and there to see if he was cheating and that of course caused a lot of issues I started lying to him bc i knew he would get mad abouy things I was doing.it seemed we always had so much fun together we but when we weren’t together we we fought to much. Iam now pregnant and he broke up with me a day before vday so its beeb a week and two days now. We have agreed on an abortion butb he’s been so up and down. First he calls saying he loves me and i going to beautiful while before he’s over me and he misses me to being so mean and yelling at me. I do love him and want him back he said that he broke up w me bc he was sick of the assuming the fighting pretty much but I felt i was always there for him when he was going t through my all his courts probation getting sober.he has gotten physical with me but it seems his anger just blows up.I do want him back but he says with his two jobs there’s no time and that we should just do our own thing and work on ourselves. He feels we have tryd the realtionship over and over and its always the same outcome. Is there any hope for us.
Ataur khan

February 22, 2014 at 1:03 pm

I have applied Nc For 8 Days…In This period i had blocked her on wats app & Fb…during this period she didn’t respond to my Behavior but Exactly after 1st week 1st she blocked me on fb & the next day on wats app…what step should i take now..
Liz

February 22, 2014 at 6:19 am

I’ve been trying to be friends with my ex. I followed the guides and everything seemed fine. But there are times he ignores my texts and sometimes he responds. And in those times he repeatedly ignores me, I decide to just leave him be and stay away from him and he’ll suddenly text me. It’s never a conversation though. It’s always a funny picture he thinks I’d like or something he thinks I’d find interesting. He also sends me things like flyers for internships that he thinks I should apply for. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I have stayed as strong as I could for 3 months but going from him blatantly ignoring me to a few texts is too much. Why would a guy do this? It was his idea to be friends and I gave in and said I could do that so why is he doing this to me? I’m so much more pain now then when he broke up with me. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him he needs to grow the hell up and learn how to tell someone that he doesn’t want to communicate with how he feels. That it’s wrong how he’s treating me. I don’t deserve it. Why can’t he just say what he wants? He has to know how much this is hurting me..I’d rather have him tell me to leave him alone or that being friends isn’t an option after all than to have this going back and forth. I wanted to believe in him, to help him. I’ve realized that he’s an EXTREMELY stubborn guy and he is actually controlling in that he tries to push his ideas and his point of views on everyone around him. And I genuinely wanted to be there for him but this hurts too much. I was doing fine during NC. I lost the weight, I went out constantly, I did new things, I made myself think positively, I made new friends and now since we’ve been texting and he’s been ignoring me/responding on and off, I’m just broken and messed up again. It’s like all of those 3 months of work is gone.

I don’t want to give up on him, but how I can be trying so hard for someone who won’t even attempt to be a decent person and friend to me..?

admin

February 22, 2014 at 6:48 pm

That is up to you completely. If you don’t think he is worth your time then good for you. I am glad you see how valuable your time is.
Liz

February 23, 2014 at 2:12 am

I guess I just wanted to have an idea of what he is doing? Why do guys do this? It seems that many do it. In my eyes, I think it’s immature. Be an adult and say what you mean, do what you mean. I’d rather be bluntly and harshly honest than to deceive someone. Is he just trying to be polite but hint that he wants me to go away? If so, then why would he suddenly randomly text me things when I do ignore him? I just need help because this is it. The deciding point. The no going back, either keep trying or let go completely. I can’t even ask him because any emotion at all and he seems to run and ignore me. When we last talked in person it’s like the emotions literally scared him and he was crying and desperate to leave.

Why would a guy do this? Ask to be friends yet ignore some texts and respond to others and sometimes just send random texts?

Laura

February 21, 2014 at 6:30 am

Hi Chris! Your guide was really fun to read and very hopeful. My relationship just lasted 2 months, we felt a deep connection, we were falling in love and we wanted the same things out of life. But it was too much too fast. In the 2nd month he started a new job and for the whole month he didn’t have time for anything, he was just sleeping 2-3 hours everyday. I was supposed to be patient and understand him since we work in the same business, instead I constantly send him very needy texts that were stressing him even more, I was a problem instead of a solution and I know I disappointed him, he had me on a pedestal. I text him that I wanted to talk, that I was very sorry, I wrote him a letter, and nothing, no reply. No even a “this is the end”. Nada. I haven’t seen him in over a month, just crazy texting, and we were together for so little… He is good looking and sweet, maybe he’s with another girl right now and forgot about my existence. This hurts dude… Do you think I should try NC and your guide or because we were together for so little I should just move on? (of course moving on would be easier if he stopped liking my Instagram pictures, wtf is that about? you won’t talk to me, but here’s a like! JEEZ)
Andreea.

February 21, 2014 at 1:39 am

Hello Chris, I Just came across with your website because I am really heart broken, my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday (February 19), the day of our month anniversary, we have been together for 1 year and 4 months, and he broke it of, he said to me that he loves me, that I’m the love of his life, but if I stay with him, I will ruin my life. We were fine, but for 2 weeks we didn’t see each other as much, maybe 3 days in those 2 weeks, we were both too busy with school and work stuff. On valentine’s day we had the most perfect day ever, we made love and I rested in his arms all night, while he told me, that everything is perfect, that he will always protected me, and love me, and respected me, that I was everything he was looking for, that one day I was going to become his wife (he had told me that I was going to be his wife, since the first month of dating). We have been arguing lately about dumb stuff, and sometimes I get to emotional over stuff and get angry at nothing, sometimes it was him.. We ended up turning dumb sh** into arguments and I felt really bad feeling that apart away from him. We are best friends, lovers, confidents, each other support, and we do know how to live without the other, I told him long ago, that I can be happy with or without him, but that I choose to be happy with him, and I still want to be happy with him. We are in college, he is 23 and I am 22, he graduates this semester, but he feels incompetent and mediocre, that he does not how to do anything right, that after graduating he wants to pack a bag and leave, but that I was the love of his life.. He says that since he does not know what to do with his life, he is going to ruin mine. We had this conversation (and we broke up) 6 months ago, 2 weeks before our first year anniversary actually, and I did not talk to him, and after a week and a half he started looking for me again, I know him, he is having a very strong emotional life crisis, I know he loves me, because we texted today, I send him a text this morning (in my defense I hadn’t have read your website yet..) and he told me he wants to be alone, to test himself, be without his family and just focus on himself, nothing but him that he is not ready for this relationship, or me, he wants to analyze his life, that he would always be there for me, always no matter what, but that if we are together he is going to keep hurting me, and he does not want to hurt me, I’m scared, because he seems more determine than last time, maybe because everything is getting so real? We made plans and there were perfect, but he says he is not ready for me, he needs to be alone, I have never been so scared in my life, I don’t want to lose him, Chris I just started reading your articles, but I am a firm believer in you! PLEASE help me, what do you think? Do you think there is a chance? That he will change his heart, and come back to me again.. I’m starting you NC as in for right know.. we both know we are meant to be together.

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:20 pm

What changes will you be making during NC?
Andreea

February 22, 2014 at 8:13 pm

I don’t know, I’m in shape, I bought my spring clothes about a week ago.. I hang out with my friends every week, I guess study more, or something.. I’m not going to keep doing what I do, I’m not going to let the break up, interfere with my regular life..He said he want to be alone, to analyze his life, be with out his family, just take care of himself, and his necessities, that he is not ready for us, for me.. He wants to probe his masculinity or something, he wants to prove the world who he is I guess..

Sophia

February 20, 2014 at 9:33 pm

Hi Chris,
So I waited 26 days (almost 30 😉 and sent a text. He responded positively and said “I would love to catch up” it was “great hearing from you”, we did have “great times together”. I responded “catching up sounds good”. It has been a day and now nothing….I have been following your rules religiously (except for the 30 day). My question is ……how long do we wait between all of your tactics/texting rules? A week? We dated a little over a year, he broke it off without explanation and wanted to be friends.
Thanks!!!

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:11 pm

A few days.

Jaya

February 20, 2014 at 9:31 pm

Hi Chris, would like your opinion. My ex of 4 months said he didn’t want to be with me anymore & broke up with me in a really harsh way & I never heard from him again, not even for my bday. I never reached out either. It’s been over a month NC. I know he knows he broke my heart but he never bother to reach out to apologize or see if I’m ok, does that mean he never cared about me?

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Read my latest guide.

Aaliyah

February 20, 2014 at 5:42 am

Hey,
Me and my boyfriend of two years just broke up on Saturday, the day after valentines day…. But anyway earlier this month we hit a rough patch and took a break and some girl just popped up and was ready to talk to him and I told him that wasn’t okay. Like I said we broke up February 15th and two days later he was texting another girl and telling her he lived her and calling her baby. But he still wants to be friends with me and hang out with me and stuff but expects me not to show any feelings. He told me why we broke up. He said he wasn’t happy because my attitude had gotten worse. It wasn’t only my attitude though it was his short temper too. He said we could get back together after we fix ourselves. He tells me he misses me and that he still loves me and that he still wants me to be his best friend but he also wants me not to be affected that two days after he broke up he is telling another girl that he loves her and that they could build a relationship together. I really want him back but I don’t known what to do.

Andrea

February 21, 2014 at 7:57 am

This sounds exactly like my situation right now except we are having a baby together that’s due any day. Idk what to do either 🙁

« Previous 1 … 93 94 95 96 97 … 149 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”