The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Cassandra

March 18, 2014 at 1:55 am

I purchased the Ebook and I couldn’t download , I’ve sending email to cris thru website and he won’t respond to my purchase for the past 3 days .. This is horrible how they just want your Money

Cat

March 17, 2014 at 6:42 am

i followed your ebook after the NC rule…i didnt get any reply…so tell me is this really effective or not? so i wouldn’t waste my time…it just hurts me and your not answering to any of our comments :(((

Kristina

March 17, 2014 at 3:49 am

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years just over a year and a half ago because of the place I was at in my life, (I needed to be alone for a while to figure my stuff out– which I did) and a few lifestyle choices he made that I disagreed with (he was being immature with drugs and not taking life seriously–which he SEEMS to have cleared up as far as I know). He initially took it really badly and we fought the first 4 months or so because he didn’t want to break up. I was trying to move on and wasn’t budging in my decision so we stopped talking and he tried sleeping with other girls to help himself move on. I’m not one to ‘sleep around’ so I found another guy to try out a relationship with but it didn’t work out because I wasn’t ready for another relationship yet. My original ex and I began to have contact again and about 7 or 8 months after our break up we began a slow attempt at getting back together. At first it was fine but I was returning back to school in a few months and got cold feet to begin a long distance relationship with him again (he goes to school on the other side of the country), so I broke it off before school started. Shortly after this separation, I thought I needed a ‘fling’ to finally move on so I began a ‘FWB’ with a good friend, however he was interested in a relationship and I wasn’t so that stopped pretty quickly. Again, after that the same pattern with my original ex continued (starting around the end of October), we were communicating and in December we met up over Christmas break and decided to JUST talk and build a friendship before entering a physical relationship. I was feeling as though he didn’t care about my life when I would try to involve him with what was going on; he assured me it was just difficult to jump right into that again after so long. I went away for reading week with my roomates to Punta Cana and I ended up making out with some guy (just made out) kind of in spite. I told my ex when I got back home and he was furious..which made me mad and cold towards him when he tried to talk it out (I’m a mess, I know). Anyway, after me saying stuff like “If you’re so upset about it, stop talking to me”, he finally said he was sick of me being so hot and cold and changing my mind all the time and he was over it. Now I’m freaking out because I wanted to continue where we were before I went away and I don’t to lose him. Am I crazy? And is this a horrible idea because of our choppy past? What do I do and how do I get him back!? He won’t reply to me anymore.. And his birthday is on TUESDAY! Do I say anything? (After a crazy rant of text messages begging for him to speak to me, I began NO CONTACT!, proud of myself for that)

Shanna

March 17, 2014 at 12:08 am

Per your recommendation, I’m half way through my no contact period. We separated nearly five months ago after 4 years together and after buying a house a year ago. It came after months of fighting. He told me he needed to go and stand on his own. I was paying for everything which caused a lot of the fight. In hindsight I know that I stopped trying and made him believe that he couldn’t make me happy (not that he was perfect). I stupidly assumed that since we bought the house, that we would just sort of continue to work on things and that the splitting up part of the relationship was over.
The first two weeks of the split he called every day and I felt like he was on the fence and I thought it was just a matter of time before he came back home. We spoke every week, but he initiated contact less and less. And for the record I did that the articles tell you not to do – I begged, cried, was overly emotional you name it. I know I pushed him further away. I saw him a couple times since separating. The first time was great we just talked, the second time he was fixing the toilet, but I freaked because he had packed more of his stuff. (You see he’s been moving it in phases, even now he has like, 10 shirts, socks and some other random stuff still here though nothing too important.) Both times we saw each other, he cried as he was leaving, but he says the same things. I think I made the right decision. I can’t make you happy.
The longest I’ve gone without talking to him before now has been two weeks. After the two week, we had a really great long conversation that ended by saying I had a good time talking to you. He then called the next night though he had a few drinks. He said I know him on a whole other level, but then went back to the, you must be happier now comments. Since those talks I’ve made a couple missteps – being completely overly emotional. So I haven’t heard from him and I guess I wanted a male perspective? I have faith, but it’s hard to conquer the self-doubt. Thanks for your articles though, it’s nice to have a plan.

Taryn

March 16, 2014 at 7:55 pm

Hey Chris,

My ex and I have been broken up for about six weeks (he broke up with me because he lost feelings for me and didn’t know what he wanted). We have been in low contact during that time (we’ve texted maybe once a week or every two weeks to try to coordinate a time to exchange our things, which still has not happened). During these six weeks, I have been hitting the gym and trying to get back into the stuff I love. Yesterday was my birthday and my ex ended up texting me a simple “happy birthday!” message. I seized the opportunity to build rapport and have him remember the “good times” we had on my birthday last year. I got a pretty positive response in return, though the conversation didn’t last long. Though I know he is not in any kind of place to consider getting back together with me at this point, I want to continue initiating conversations with him to rebuild attraction. So my question is this: how long should I wait to initiate conversation with him again? I was thinking three days seemed safe. I don’t want to come off over eager to chat with him. I don’t want him to think I want him back just yet (as he pulled the “I love you as a friend” card on me when we broke up… we had been dating for a year, by the way). And should he be the one to ask me to meet up? The last message he sent before the birthday text was exactly one week ago. It said that he would like to meet up, but he doesn’t know when that will be as he is extremely busy with grad school stuff right now… so I don’t know if I should be the one to suggest a meet up when the time comes. I’d like to let him make the choice to see me.

Erin

March 16, 2014 at 2:12 am

Hey Chris
So yesterday was my ex’s birthday (also day 9 of nc) I ended up posting ‘happy birthday’ on his Facebook because I didn’t want to seem salty or anything. I also mailed him a check. He had lent me some money and wasnt going to let me pay him back. But since he broke up with me, I sent it anyway.
Does this mean I have to start over with NC completely?its not like I’m checking in to see how he’s doing..

By the way, great blog! This all makes me feel so much more at ease about my break up =] I definitely plan on purchasing your ebook!

cynthia

March 15, 2014 at 10:44 am

heloo my name is cynthia i met a guy at our home when my cousin came along.this guy had a crush on me and once he left he asked my cousin for my number after that i gave it for him and we started talking together he asked me to become his girlfriend i accepted ( he was the first guy that i started dating him and loved him like that ) after 2 months everything was going right until he came and told me i am goinng on a trip to joran all the summer and besides that we aren’t seeing each other a lot ( although from 3 days before telling me that i was talking to him on whatsapp and asking him to see him and he wasn’t answering me . not even one word and we never talked until i started school and the summer was over he came back and asked me for another chance and cz i still had feelings for him i accepted like a fool and again after 2 months he broke up with me but this time it was diffrent he left me bcz of his stupid friend .we were at our christmas party and we were having fun until this guy showed up he asked me to dance with him i told him no after a while he came and asked my boyfriend who told him yes 🙁 i was shoked cz like 10 min ago i told my boyfriend that his friend is annoying me.like what just happened there!! we went out to have talk outside and we stood there for a long time ago once we entered his friend was behind the door he waited for my boyfriend to go to the bathroom and suddenly i felt someone holding my hand and pulling me after him.there i saw this guy taking me next to his friends and asking me for my number i told him no then left after the party was over the next day i told my cousin about everything and he had a talk with my boy but all that my boy said was that his friend was drunk so he didn’t want to talk to him so nothing will happen at the party ( to say the truth i felt that that guy was awake more than my boy was ).my boy went with my cousin to this guy house ( this guy is also my cousin and my boy’s neighboor and friend !!!)and they had a talk to him this guy told them the story backward and that i asked him for his number … they both believed him and argued with me like what the helll !!!!!!!!! after 2 days it was going to be christmas eve and after x-mas about 2 days it was my boy’s b-day i went to the store and bought him a gift and prepared for everything.i tried talking to him but no answer:( after suffering for 3 days he talked to me and told me he is with his ex at a restaurant i didn’t say anything except have fun .after about 2 hours a gaved my cousin the gift and asked him ti give it to him .he did so but what a pig he never said thank youuuuuuuu??? after it has been 2 months now he talked to me and asked me to see me so i told him i was sick and i can’t and as usual he didn’t continue speaking to me ;
so what am i suppose to do ??? cz i know he will tell me when he will talk to me another time and say i want you back so it will be the third time that we go back together soo plzz help me what should i do ?

Chelsea

March 13, 2014 at 2:49 pm

Another question… an important question: what is ex is still with rebound after NC? What do we do? Keep doing NC?

im a guy that his ex os trying to get back

March 13, 2014 at 7:24 am

And best believe these text convos. Examples are mega cheesy and corny and a waste of time reading,

May

March 12, 2014 at 1:24 am

What does it mean when your ex bf (of 5 days) keeps watching your snapchat stories? Is it a good idea for me to stop posting them that way the only way he can see what I’m up to is if he actually texts me?

Sara

March 11, 2014 at 7:11 pm

So I got my boyfriend back (thanks so much to his guide) and we got back together fairly quickly. Unfortunately we didn’t give each other a fair chance as we tried yo have the relationship we once had instead of taking it slow. From this I felt as i was unable to make the changes I recognize or grow as a couple. Four months later he broke up with me again and I realize now that we didn’t give it a fair chance. We should have taken it slow not jumped into living together again and given each other the space we needed. We are both bring civil to each other and I’m giving him space right now but what do you suggest in winning him back again. What’s the best approach?

Cat

March 11, 2014 at 3:34 pm

my NC period is almost finish and Im about to do the first contact…whats the best thing to say? remind him about the good times? please advice. I purchased your book and I want this to be effective as possible…

Sara

March 11, 2014 at 12:13 pm

Is it possible if we got back together (following this guide) but we speed up the relationship after getting back together. In doing do we never gave each other a chance and we’re unable to truly grow as a couple and fix the problems before. He broke up with me again. I know we have a strong connection and he even said he wanted it to work. How do I go about getting a third chance?

JANE

March 10, 2014 at 6:42 pm

I recently break up with my boyfriend. He decides to let me go because we always fight this year. He was stress & tired by many things since he’s an active guy, also he got a big exam this year. We’re having a fight mainly because i didn’t listen to him. I’m the kind of girl who nice to everyone even guys. He’s the jealous type. I keep promising to take care of him and myself, but I didn’t take it seriously. Now that we’ve broke up, i finally realize that I should have take care of his heart, not hurting him instead. I was shock that he wanted a break up & I’m begging him to take me back. He said he want the new/now me because I care for him more & that’s what he want. But he said he can’t take me back because he was afraid I would broke my promise & hurt him again. I begged him for 3 days & he said he was annoyed by it & don’t want to talk to me anymore. What should I do? Should I go with the no contact rule? I’m just afraid if i avoid him, he will assume I don’t want him anymore & he’ll think he should move on.

Anonymous

March 10, 2014 at 5:07 pm

Hey Chris,
I’m that guy you were talking about who is reading the ex-boyfriend recovery to try to get my ex-girlfriend back. She broke up with me 10 days ago and i immediately started researching how to get her back and went into no contact. I am using your site, the text your ex back system, and some other things. For the no contact, she hasn’t tried to contact me. She also changed her profile picture from one of me and her the day after she broke up with me. Just as some background knowledge about us, we had been together for 10ish months before she moved to because her dad got a new job. We were completely committed to each other and were crazy in love. We promised, regardless of the move that we would be together forever. I got her a diamond promise ring and everything was amazing between us. Minus the fact her parents found out that we had sex and were really pissed. We weren’t allowed to see each other for awhile, but we got through it. Before she left, after new years, I got her the promise for christmas and she wrote me 150 notes to read every morning until she came back for summer, gave me a picture of her and other stuff. We said no matter what, we would be together forever and get married. We were also planning on going to the same college. So, after she moved. She moved to a different state and I was really negative about it – i kept saying how miserable I was without her here, how I needed her, and how much it sucked. Although, I was still there for her. We started arguing a lot during the first month and then she told me she was having doubts about us and was confused. So I chased her hard and told her I would fix everything and it seemed like I did – we stopped arguing and everything was better. But, I got really clingy and needy with her. I started calling her all the time and would get upset if she didn’t answer or reply right away to my texts. I became the person who was making her always emotionally support me. And after researching, no matter how much someone loves and cares about you, if you become really needy and clingy, you will push them away. We had our 1 year anniversary a week to a week and a half after. I sent her flowers and a teddy bear in the mail for valentine’s day/our anniversary (anniversary feb. 11). Everything seemed great. But then a month later, we had an argument about sex (she’s catholic and it’s been a battle with sex throughout the relationship, she goes to a retreat and then suddenly says no to sex, but then goes back after a few weeks). We argued about it and then suddenly she says she’s having her doubts again and how she doesn’t know what she wants and that she feels the love is going away and how she’s had her doubts for the past month (everything was great the past month though, we talked about our future, our kids, everything. It was great and we talked about how much we love each other all the time and how we will always be together). So I was really confused and told her that I was sorry and would accpept her decision on no sex. It wasn’t even a big argument and it was the first one we had in a long time. but for the next 4 days she kept telling me how the love was going away and how she doesn’t know if she wants to be with me forever. I tried to give her space hoping she was just stressed because of moving and all the new stuff. She kept apologizing for making me feel so bad and for hurting me and how much she cares about me and how she truly loves me so so much, but just doesn’t know about the relationship and our future. So after 4 days, I facetimed her just to talk and she seemed different. She was kinda being a b**** and seemed a little mad. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said no, I don’t want that, but how she doesn’t see a future and how she thinks the love is going away. She told me that she cares about me so much and doesn’t want to hurt me and is so sorry for all of this – that she doesn’t want to be feeling like this at all. She actually started crying because she said she doesn’t want to hurt and how she cares about me so much. I said would you be happy if we broke up and she said no. She then said maybe we should take a break and break up now and see what happens when she gets back for summer. So then she broke up with me and we talked a bit after and then she said she had to go and i said I love you and she didn’t say it back, and I said hey, said it back, you said you still loved me. Then she said no, I won’t say it back. And I said but you said you still do and then she said “like a friend” and then we said bye and hung up. I haven’t talked to her since (10 days).
She changed her facebook profile picture (we are still friends on facebook though). She unfollowed me on instagram and took down a picture of us she posted on our 1 year anniversary and I think she took down a comment she put on another picture of us making weird faces that said “we are weirdos #meanttobe” or something like that. But the weird thing is that she left all the other pictures of us – one with her holding her flowers and bear I got her for valentines day, one where she wrote I love you in the sand at the beach, one where I wrote on her hand together forever, one of us kissing on our 7 month anniversary, and others of us saying we will be together forever and how much she loves me. So I’m super confused, I just don’t know. If you could tell me why she’s doing this , that would be awesome.
Also, after researching a lot, no matter how much you love and care about somebody, if you get really clingy and needy, it will push them away. I did this to her for the past 1-2 months after she moved. I kinda became a different guy, not the guy she fell in love with in this first place. I became the person that made her have to always be there emotionally for me or I’d break down and stuff. I started to really smother her. (calling her all the time and stuff) I think it’s a combination of that and her moving that caused the breakup. But I would really appreciate your input. I really really love this girl and will do anything to get her back. I already am doing your system and the text your ex back system (pretty much the same thing). I’m trying to better myself and become independent and everything. Better myself, etc.

Thanks so much

Krissy

March 10, 2014 at 9:01 am

I honestly don’t know how I stumbled across your website, but I must say this has to be the absolute WORST dating advice I have EVER laid eyes on!! I seriously thought this had to be some sort of satirical advice column but after reading a little more, I realized that no, this is a sad truth.

“He said he needed some time away from me. I spent one week trying to contact him over and over again to apologize and work things out but he kept ignoring me. A week later he decided he didn’t want to be with me at all bc I didn’t give him his space. So I went to his house…”

Why do you need someone to tell you what all of that mess a our means?! He wanted SPACE. Clearly said it. And what did this person do? Contacted him over and over again and then is confused as to why he ended it?! Lol. And the icing on the cake is you harassed this man until he wipes his hands of you, and then YOU GO TO HIS HOUSE?!? Lmao!!!

I cannot be the only person that see through this bullshit advice right?! Of course I’m not. That’s why a comment such as mine that calls you out on your crap will never appear on your website…hence the moderator approval needed.
Not surprised actually. Obviously the author/horrible advice giver, is small minded and insecure. The weak do not take criticism well.
And as far as the women actually seeking advice here…

ellen

March 10, 2014 at 8:44 am

I broke up wit my bby dady,I think he’s playing hard to get. He tells me de coud be sum1 in his life n that they r still trying to get to knw each odor.n dat I shoud wait for him to make up his mind as to witch one of us he wants.

Cat

March 10, 2014 at 5:30 am

my NC period is almost finish and Im about to do the first contact…whats the best thing to say? remind him about the good times? please advice. I purchased your book and I want this to be effective as possible…

Krissy

March 10, 2014 at 4:41 am

Has no one here ever heard of the book and/or movie “He’s Just Not into You”?! Seriously. If a guy wants to talk to you, he’ll call. If he wants to see you he will ask!!
If you make the first move with no positive outcome, or are flat out rejected, MOVE ON! Quit lowering yourself to a level beneath you and subjecting yourself to emotional torture! Come on!!
And whoever wrote this “guide” is a misogynist pig, advising obviously fragile, heartbroken ladies to try and trick a man into being in a relationship with them!
I am shocked that so many of my fellow women are turning to this awful website for advice!
NEWS FLASH! If somebody says they don’t want to be in a relationship with you, THEY MEAN IT! Stop this insanity of looking like a desperate psycho stalker!

Karstin

March 9, 2014 at 11:01 pm

My ex finished with me few days ago, I knew it was coming as we kept arguing about little things. We both love each other and he told me that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He also text me after he finished it that he truly never wanted this to happen and hope we can find a solution in the future. In the last few weeks we hadn’t really spent time together has he was busy or had work commitments.
He said he wanted time apart and wanted to be on his own. When I was with him he was all I could thing about 24/7, I didn’t live my life I just revolved my life around him and that was a bad thing to do. I knew I shouldn’t of done that. I’m going to do the no contact rule. But I’m scared if he doesn’t want anything to do with after I don’t speak to him.
Have you got any advice for me please?
Thanks. Great website 🙂
X

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