The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

kate

May 9, 2014 at 3:14 am

I need some.serious advice my boyfriend , now ex , broke upbwith me the other day and as it is , it wa shard for me me so i did the begging and what not, then syopped and thought he doesnt want me ,so.im not.goig.to.try, then i bumped.into.him and he called out my name to.go talk sobas i walked passed i said hi , he then rings me cryig tlling me he loves meand im.his world and that he misses seeing me but gors on to say he doesnt want to be together, im so confused!! Pleasee , some help is muchly.needed

admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:42 pm

He is all over the place emotionally. I would give him his space. Let silence be your weapon.

M.

May 7, 2014 at 1:56 am

So today is exactly one month since I did NC to my ex boyfriend, and I’m really unsure of my first contact. It’s making me worried. Like what if it’s not good enough? Really I think it’s cheesy. Hahaha… Here’s what I said:
Hey, so earlier today, I made a grilled cheese sandwich and it made me think of you for the first time in a while now. I couldn’t help but laugh at the time when you made that one grilled cheese sandwich that tasted bad and you came back unhappy and upset over it haha.

It’s making me extremely worried that I did something wrong and it was just… Ugh idk. I feel like it’s not good enough haha… I need your opinion.

admin

May 7, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Haha interesting choice of words with “cheesy” since its about a grilled cheese.

I think its too long.

Nikki

May 7, 2014 at 12:48 am

So, me and my ex had dated for 6 months we were talking engagement then he started to push away saying school, i’m a distraction of course didn’t give me a good reason,but said that he wants to be friend this happened in Jan. We were still talking after the break up went out, it was fine until March, he wasn’t calling much or texting, we had gotten into a huge fight because he was thinking about moving to Utah to be with his son (I was fine with it) but when I said I would miss him, he said that I would move on very easily. After that he pretty much stop talking actually not talking much. I suspected that he was seeing someone. I did the wrong thing “declared” my love for him, he replied that he didn’t feel the same way wished he did he cares for me deeply but as a friend. After that we got into a another fight. I unfriended him and started the NC, so now the picture of him and the girl he is seeing is up on facebook.
I’m doing NC. But he threw a tantrum because i didn’t answer him and he saw that I unfriended him. He asked to pick up something special to him, I broke down and talk, as we talked he said I don’t know if I’ll find or deserve a girl like you. I cut the chat, saying I have to go getting ready to go out with a friend, of course he didn’t talk about his stuff or discuss to come and pick it up.
Not sure what to do, should I start the NC again, is it pointless to try and get him back if he feels so insecure.

admin

May 7, 2014 at 3:38 pm

I think you should try to do it again. Maybe cut it down to 21 days instead of 30 though.

xheing

May 6, 2014 at 2:32 pm

hi, ive dated this guy for 1 month only, ive meet him on some dating site….for that period of time he was a so good to me, and I can consider that he is a kind of to good to be true guy. he used to make me feel loved, comfort me, used to take care of me a lot. even he was asking me already to move in to his place to be together. but something strange happen just a week ago, he change a lot, he did not even send me sweet messages, and everytime im asking what was the problem he just keep on saying that he is having some issues in the company. until last Wednesday he told me to drop the card access of his flat… I ask him if that is the reason why he is mad at me ( actually I took the key, because I wanna surprise him for a dinner on our monthsary), I ask him if he don’t want to see me anymore, he said yes in just a second….I ask him if he is still love me… he just answered he is busy these days and cant able to meet me up… then I said ok…and then he send me messages that we will talk about us by sunday (04/05/2014), I said ok. and when sunday come, he doesn’t even send me message to confirm, even when I text him no reply, when I call he cut the line when he heard my voice. and that ive decided to go to his place, I knock, rang the doorbell and waited there for 30 min. I know he is inside but he just don’t want to see me. and so I decided to left a letter to his door, saying that I guess its a goodbye for us. Until now I haven’t heard anything from him, no hi or hello. and now still it bothers me, it hurts so bad..coz I fell inlove with that guy for a short period of time knowing. But still cant understand the reason why he did this to me. I don’t know if he do love me or not….I want him back so bad….
T.F

May 6, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Me and my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up 2 weeks ago. We have lived together for about 3 years in his parents house. There was about two months before the break up of him not wanting to do things with me( movies,dinner, going out for ice cream, etc.). During this time i was so angry i stopped paying attention to him. He got into a run in with the law and is awaiting his court date. Hes looking at losing his license for quite some time. He was also waiting to hear about a new job coming up that i didnt agree with him on. I was so annoyed by everything that i kept ignoring him and he tried to start to pay attention to me again. I refused to let him. I started going out with my friends and spending time with basically everyone but him. We ended up getting into a fight over it and i went to work instead of arguing. He decided to move my things out while i was gone. So i moved back home. For the first week we talked and decided we should work it out and get back together. He said that we should spend time together and talk, i agreed. Then we didnt talk for two days. I texted him and he called me up and told me he didnt know what he wanted to do anymore. He wasnt sure with everything that was going on. Now he wont talk to me. I have no idea what changed. Now its been 4 days and i havent said a word to him. I did however talk to his mother and she said that hes been very angry lately and wont talk to anyone. I dont know what to do.
sana

May 6, 2014 at 7:15 am

Hey Chris.
It’s been 3 days now that my boyfriend dumped me. It’s just that he thinks I cheated on him. Things with him is just being a bit messed up. Actually what happened in the beginning was that I and his friend just planned a surprise for him as he was leaving for his hometown but he saw his friend and my texts and from that point he doubts me like maybe you just planned the surprise on the point just to be saved from the doubt thing but later he was convinced that I didn’t have any wrong intention but it was just for saying he continued to doubt me and that doubt just broke us apart now. I tried to convince him every time. This is the 2nd time we broke up the first time we broke up i tried that day a lot but he was too firm he came and said sorry but he was stubborn about not getting back but the next day he came and sorted it out and it was all fine again but afterhe went back to his hohometown I.e Delhi and I came back to mine he just started becoming more insecure. It’s just that he says I don’t doubt you but I am not able to trust you. He even said that I don’t know if I really love you or its just my ego. He has even started thinking that I portrayed him as something I am really not. But that’s not the truth. I don’t know how to make him believe I tried every possible way. He doesn’t even trust his friend. He is just being too cold. He asked for a break that time also I tried to make him understand thatiI didn’t do anything but then the next day I texted him a hug needed so he said I wish I could give you so much more. Sorry. Then he said I can’t date you cause as much as I want to date you I don’t think its healthy for me to date you. And I guess he is never coming back and will stay in Delhi cause the only reason he was coming back was me. I tried every way. Should I follow the no contact way cause then I may make him feel that I have moved on and all. When we were talking he in some way or the other tried to tell me that I don’t have any idea how tough it is for me but instead of that he was very adamant about not coming back and not thinking about us. What should I do? Cause all my friends and parents think that he doesn’t deserves me and all. But I know how much we love each other and he is a great person. I don’t wanna lose him especially for a wrong reason. I never cheated him. Whereas, he thinks I did. What proof can I give him? He even checked my phone but didn’t get any proof so he was like you must have deleted it. By the way he is talking fro. The time of breakup I feel that he is never coming back no matter what. Please tell me what should I do? I tried clearing myself a lot and telling him what he means and I want him back and all but he was all the time cold. I don’t know what to do. I will go to Delhi after a month just for a trip and even it’s my birthday day after how should I respond if he calls or texts? Should I seem to be happy in font of him or sad? Won’t the steps given above make him feel that I have moved on and make him move on too?
Allie

May 6, 2014 at 1:43 am

I came across this while looking for various advice on how to handle a break up. My ex, still weird to call him that, broke up with me a week ago and we were dating for 4 1/2 years. His reasoning was that he was unhappy, and struggling with emotions of us, and after a few big fights we had he thought it was the right thing. Unfortunately for me I did email him two days after with how I felt and I asked questions, and did not understand how he could have really not given us a chance or communicated to me. He did reply and answered the questions, and his email also included a plan on where I wanted to meet so he could give me my stuff back and he could get his key etc. I have not responded and after reading this I am going to do the thirty days, because I think we both need time. Will this wreck my chances when i get to the point where I start to text him since I have not made a response to getting my stuff and giving him his stuff? Will this be something he will ask if I text him in the final step, and if that is part or his only response waht do I do?
Brenda

May 1, 2014 at 6:17 am

My ex and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. I had a successful ATB text on Easter with a positive response. However today I saw he created an online dating profile actually on the site we originally met on. His profile included pics from our relationship, including one my arm is in sitting next to him & even one from our anniversary! What does this mean? Why would he do this? Do I still have a chance or do I give up?? Please help! I’m so devastated again now.
Kay

April 30, 2014 at 1:36 am

First of all, Chris, thank you for creating this website with lots of detailed insights/tactics to get my ex back.

Yesterday (yes it was really recent), my boyfriend broke up with me in person.

My ex (it’s weird to call him that now..) and I were together for 3 years, we started dating in college (also we happened to work at the same place but we quit at the same time). We had had our ups and downs like a normal couple does. December 2013, I finished my masters and he finished his bachelors, and we were even talking about moving in together in July this year when we are financially stable. I have a great relationship with his family and everyone thought of us as a perfect couple, and no one thought that we would break up (I only have told about this to only a few good friends of mine because I am still in denial as this happened only yesterday).

Basically he said that he doesn’t know if this break up is the right decision. (He also gave me a 10 page letter). He doesn’t want to regret anything, and he thought that us staying together will not move forward. He said he didn’t want to waste my time by me waiting for him to “be ready”. He said that he was hiding his true feeling (like what bothered him and parts that he didn’t like about me) because he thought it was best for him to suck it all up and be a man in the relationship. This has built up, hence, he felt that he was lying to himself and I.

I still love him and I know that he loves me still. I am determined to do your “no-contact” tactic for the next month. Do you think he really meant what he told me as a break up reason?

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:45 pm

10 pages… I would say yes but I would also say it is possible to get him back if the chips fall in the right places.
Kay

May 1, 2014 at 1:44 am

Thank you Chris. You have no idea how much you help me (and all of us) not only through creating this website but also commenting back on almost every single person that has all kinds of questions. I’m in day 3 of NC and I will do it for MYSELF. You’re an awesome guy!
Kay

May 1, 2014 at 7:06 am

I have one more question; when we were still in the relationship, I told my ex how I wouldn’t want to be in contact with a person who breaks up wiith me a couple of times. I wouldn’t want to be their friends if they broke my heart. And I guess he rememembered it clearly because in the letter he wrote “I know you’ll probably never want to talk to me ever again, but I’ll be okay” but then he wrote in the latter “if you ever need someone that you need to talk to, you know how to get a hold of me”.

I have a good hunch that he will not contact me during my NC period..is it still okay for me to initiate a contact (and I’ve read that you recommend it) after I complete my NC contract?

Sarah

April 29, 2014 at 2:37 pm

Me and my bf both 19 have been off and on for about 10 month’s we met on a dating site I never thought he would end up meaning so much to me he always sent the first message and made the first move we talked for a few weeks before actually meeting up and from there it went to spending our nights together to him meeting my family to me falling in love with him. He was the first to say “I love you” and didn’t mind when I said I wasn’t sure if I loved him. Anyway just a few days ago he broke up with me I think he had enough of my jealousy and accusations I would make towards him I would always dump him then he would come back and I would take him back cos I’d miss him so much! I’m a very insecure jealous person maybe because I’ve been cheated on and lied to in my past relationships. I took everything that happened to me in my past relationships out on him and I let him know afyer he broke up with me how sorry I was. To me I think we have quiet solid feelings for eachother but he seemed so angry when he dumped me he said “can you just move on with your life and I’ll move on with mine” he told me to block him from everything and was so mad about yhe text I sent him a couple days ago accusing him of flirting with other girls when I already knew he was actually with his dad but I just couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t text me?he said his phone was about to go flat but still managed to text me when he was heading home? Anyway I jist wanna know if you think I should bother trying to get him back or if I should leave him to live his life like he said? I really don’t want us to end like this and I am going to try the no contact rule while I work on bettering myself. But did he mean what he said or was he just angry?I saw he’s back on the dating site we first met on does that mean he really is moving on and leaving me?

Austin

April 30, 2014 at 2:12 am

Look, I’m a guy and what he is trying to do is convince himself that he doesn’t need you, which basically he’s just trying to hide his feelings I’m the closet so he can convince himself that he’s over you, honestly after
He has some to to think I bet he will be much more willing to consider getting back into a relationship with you
admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Thanks for the assist Austin!

Tanya

April 29, 2014 at 6:14 am

My partner of a year and half and I have recently parted. It has been a quite cruel break up. Prior to me, he carried a dreadful reputation (ladies man). What is the average wait time from break up to “hook up” for a mid-twenties male?

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:13 am

Probably soon…

Anja Noltensmejer

April 28, 2014 at 6:47 pm

My ex is also my colleagua. (Im danish, so excuse my bad english)
Its day 6 in NC, and it is killing my, BUT, im not gonna give in.
But the co-worker thing is worring my. How do I get around the that, and make it my advantage? I mean, i lost the upper hand, the surprise seing my “OMG she looks got now” .. Hope you know what i mean. He will see my god and bad days. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I cant hide.
So, i need help… Any advise??

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:00 am

your colleague?

Is that what you meant?

Kamy

April 28, 2014 at 5:55 pm

Hi Chris, I was looking for an advice and saw your website and is been really helpful so far, but I think I made few mistakes.
I broke up my ex boyfriend about 3 months ago, we were long distance and broke up because I felt he started changing and wouldn’t call as much anymore. I felt I was putting more effort than he was and I got tired because every time I will ask what was going to happen with relationship he will say he didn’t know. We dated for almost 4 years, and he wanted to move out and I felt I wanted to take it more serious and get marry instead. Well after the break up I did not contact for a month and a half then I felt I need to apologize so I contacted him. We talked and he apologize and said he missed and love me but the second time we talk somehow he brought up how we can fix things and we end up on the same page before we broke up. Then we sent each other few texts here and there but I was so confuse because he said he love me and felt he wanted to be with me but he was confused. So what I did was that a friend of mine wanted to see her boyfriend and he was going to be on the same city. We went there and when I saw him he was all over me and happy and also tried to have sex the whole time I was there, but I didn’t want to so we just messed around and since he kept trying I brought the subject if this was going to be just a weekend thing, he said he didn’t know that he love me but things were a lot more complicated now and that since we were still in long distance and since I will not go on his “terms” basically leave everything just to move out with him then we cant do anything. He’s being so selfish. I felt so hurt that he wouldn’t even try to make it work, until he’s ready or we both ready for any commitment, so I just told him he didn’t understand me or truly love me and left. Do you think is there anything left to do at this point. No contact again, knowing the last time he didn’t even try to contact me because he thought I didn’t wanted to see or speak to him again. I think I made a desperate move and shouldn’t have gone there to see him. Is it completely over at this point??. (We are both 24 years old, he has a great job and I’m open to move to his city if we get marry). I just don’t know if I completely blew it. I really appreciate if you can give me your point of view. Thank you

admin

April 30, 2014 at 12:58 am

Have you take a look at my LDR guide yet?
Kamy

April 30, 2014 at 2:32 pm

Yes I have, In fact I read most of your posts. That’s why I’m a little confuse at this point I think I made all the right moves at the beginning but I feel that at the end going to see him wasn’t the best idea. Should I start no contact all over again and this time wait for him to approach me if he ever does, if not just let go??!. Do you think he will ever try to be more understanding and perhaps get back together?. Or if he’s acting like this because he knows I’m still there and knows I haven’t been dating or seeing anybody else. I would really appreciate if you could give me an advice or at least an idea if this could be fix or I should just move on.

Kim

April 28, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Its a long story but the condensed version is this: my ex and I are neighbors (we bought townhouses 2 doors down from each other when we were together) and after a year of dating, we broke up 3 months ago (because his family is not in support of the relationship and he didn’t want to get married without their approval and didn’t want to keep me waiting because he didn’t know if/when they would change their mind). After the breakup, I went no contact (or tried to) and he made excuses to contact me and come by the house (to borrow a snow shovel, to return money he borrowed from me, to try to be friends with my roommate’s boyfriend whom was staying at my house at the time) and after about a month of these post-break up antics, I called him and asked him to give me space and time to heal, then I went full no contact for another month, which he did not try to reach out to me. I ran into him one time during this no contact period (in our driveways) and literally ran into the house to avoid speaking to him (he looked like he wanted to stop and talk). Finally, after a full 30 day no contact period, I called him and said that I wanted to stop hating him and feeling angry and to forgive him but I felt he owed me an apology for the things he did in and after the relationship and he apologized, said that if I felt hurt by anything he did, he was sorry and that he didn’t really know what else to say other than he has shortcomings and life is too short to be mad so he would never be mad at me, he thinks I’m an amazing person. I told him that his apology meant a lot to me and that I didn’t think he was a bad person. I said I don’t believe in being friends with an ex but that I wished we had been friends instead of dating because we’d probably still be friends and I heard he’s an amazing friend (according to our mutual friends, he is) just a horrible boyfriend and I laughed, he said that was harsh and I said I know, but its the truth and we both laughed it off. We then caught up and talked about non relationship stuff for about 20 mins. He told me about his recent job promotion and noted that he planned to stay in the area we live (when we were in a relationship, he said he might want to move for work) so I guess we will be neighbors for a while (I thought about moving after the break up but decided against it, I found the house first, he bought after I did). I also told him I ran into a mutual friend who said they thought we’d get back together and I told him I told the friend, that no we were okay as we are and he didn’t respond to that. We kept chatting and he acted like he didn’t want to get off the phone, I didn’t really either but since I don’t believe in being friends with an ex, I don’t want to get into that dangerous trap. The truth is, I don’t want to be just his friend, I want to get back together. Any hope for us? What should I do, if anything?
Adri

April 28, 2014 at 8:50 am

My ex and I had been dating for a bit more than 6 years. 4 years ago he told me he needed to “figure things out” and 24 hours later came back saying I’m sorry. He even gave me a promise ring and for the past 4 years even up to 2 weeks before the break up talked about marriage and proposing in the next 2 years. 2 months before the break-up he attempted to break up through text saying we had drifted apart and didn’t want to waste my time. I went over we talked and we agreed that he just needed his space. It took him a week to come back with roses and saying he wanted to be with me forever and loved me very much. We hardly see each other because I woke full time and I am going to grad school as well. We decided to do weekly dinners and continue seeing each other on saturday. We also planned to take mini day trips to get out of the routine of things. Since his “break” I felt insecure and unsure of his feelings because the break was out of nowhere and still to this day don’t know what is it that he needed to figure out. I shared how I was feeling guarded with him for the purpose of getting some reassurance. 2 weeks ago I had a week off and he didn’t make an attempt to see more. I was upset and of course told him that I wanted to spend more time with him. He reassured me that everything was fine, that my insecurities need not be because everything was fine. We went out to a game on saturday we had fun and laughed. on sunday i continued to feel insecure and I told him once again and replied saying i needed to stop thinking like that and that i was just stressing myself out. I asked if we could just talk about it and I wanted to hear how he was feeling. he agreed. I met up with a plan of booking a trip, stating out loud what was working and what was and how to improve. After I made my speech he said he loved me but didn’t feel a spark and didn’t want to waste my time. that we were holding onto something that was once there, the weekly dinners weren’t enough, didn’t see me in his future. He kept saying he loved me and that maybe one day, week, month he would realize his mistake and contact me. I was of course in shock once again. I pointed out that if you love someone you fight for it and he quit before giving us a chance, and once again did not communicate with me. I left him in tears sobbing. it’s been a hell of a week, i have made no contact neither has he. Keep in mind that we are both the same age, started college at the same time, however, i graduated a year before him, i have my career and getting paid pretty well, i am finishing up my masters, have moved out of my parents and just bought a car. He graduated college, but hasn’t been able to find a job in his career. He works for min wage for part time and still lives at home. i’m not sure how much this impacts things. i have been paying for everything basically the past 1.5 year. i am not one to show up my success, i have always said that we are both successful because he has supported me through all my decisions without ever having a complaint (which is true) and i have been nothing but positive about his job search. So, what do you think truly happened? Will he come back around? What should I do? Thank you!!!
Kate

April 26, 2014 at 8:58 am

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he needed more time for himself, that he wants to grow as an individual. We always argue about him still not getting his degree in college while I’m already in my third year law proper. I understand where he’s coming from. What I dont understand is that he said that he doesnt love me anymore. I didnt believe it ar first i was crying in front of him but he was firm with his stand that he doesn’t want me anymore. The ending was light though, he said he wont close his doors to the idea of dating me again but as of now I should move on. He said that soon we can go out casually. What specific advice can you give for my situation? Thanks a lot.

admin

April 28, 2014 at 4:10 pm

I am working on something right now that I think could be extremely helpful for you.
Kate

May 13, 2014 at 6:52 am

I’m in my third week of no contact and he’s having the time of his life now. I was a mess for the first two weeks but I’m a bit better now. I honestly believe that he doesn’t miss me or whatever and I guess the 30 day contact won’t work after all. 🙁 Your thought, please, Chris?
Kate

April 26, 2014 at 9:03 am

We dated for 29 months. I’m very close to his family and all, if that’s even relevant.

Catherine

April 25, 2014 at 7:25 am

My boyfriend and I (both 19) dated for a year, and he broke up with me 2 months ago. After a week, he said he wanted to get back together. We both agreed not to jump right back into a relationship, but to slowly work on fixing our problems and earning each other’s trust back. Even though we weren’t officially back together, it was like we were a couple. The break up really broke my trust, and I became very jealous and paranoid. I was afraid he would leave me again, so I get really jealous whenever he talked to other girls. A month later, he wanted to reassure that he loves me and he said he was ready to officially get back together if I was ready. I wanted to, but I couldn’t trust him wholeheartedly and our problems were not resolved so we did not get back together yet. Last week, he said that he is unsure if getting back together was a good idea. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me, but our relationship was like a sinking ship. Instead of holding on to something that’s sinking, he said he would rather save himself first. He said it was because I am very jealous and clingy that he felt like he was being suffocated. He also said it was because I am too dependent on other people and do not make choices for myself. I am easily influenced by others, which he did not like throughout our relationship. We both agreed that we should not get back together, at least for now. We said our goodbyes and we were about to cut each other from our lives, but I didn’t want that. I was not thinking straight at the time so I asked him if we could be friends with benefits. He said he didn’t want to hurt me, but he didn’t exactly say no either. He just said “we’ll see…”. We had small talk over Facebook for a few days after but he never gave me an answer, and I never asked.

I have just decided to start doing NC. I am taking his criticism to change myself for the better. I’ve started looking for a part time job so I can be more independent. I have started eating clean and working out so I can improve my health and appearance as well as improve my self-esteem. I figured if I was more confident in myself and had a higher self-esteem, I might not be so jealous of other girls and paranoid that he would leave me for someone better. I am unsure of our relationship in the future but even if we do not get back together, I have changed myself to become a better me. My question is, do you think I lowered my chances of my ex coming back by asking for a FWB relationship? What should I do?

admin

April 28, 2014 at 3:57 pm

I don’t think your chances are lowered. Though you might want to read my FWB guide.

Violet

April 25, 2014 at 12:44 am

Me and my ex-boyfriend have been dating for 2 years. We broke up because I told him we needed space and we argued to much and all of that. He was begging me back at one point and I wouldn’t really respond to him. Now he has stopped begging and moved on. We talked for a little bit I kinda lied and told him I had a friend I was talking to see if he would move on. One day he told me to come over we talked he told me how much he still loves me and wants me back. I asked to see his phone and he gave it to me and told me not to get mad. Now him and the girl started talking he lied and told me they were just friends but I read all of the messages and he told me not to get mad but I read otherwise. The same day we talked about of the messages he told me he was just saying to make her feel good and all of that but I wasn’t going for it. Then he got mad because I went on facebook and I posted a status saying just chilling and talking to him (James). The girl he was talking to saw it and called his phone while me and him were together. I told him to answer and he did now he lied to her saying he was with me he didn’t tell her we was together now. So he got mad about my post on facebook which was nothing then he said he didn’t want to talk to me and told me to go home and all of that. I left and came back and told him to come outside he wouldn’t come he told me to come back later and to go away. And I said no lets just talk about this now so he finally came outside and the girl pulled up. After that we all talked I told her everything that we are still talking and all and he got mad again. Then she asked who do you want he said her. So after that I left. The next day I texted him how I felt and he never responded, The two now got together after they only have been talking for 3 days and just now knowing each other. Now I realized I want him back. Can you help me ?

admin

April 27, 2014 at 1:15 am

Sure!

They aren’t dating yet officially though right?

Tina

April 23, 2014 at 10:22 pm

My ex and I dated for three months than off an on for two more. His friends told him he spent too much time with me. I got mad after he cancelled dinner for the fifth day in a row and he said I wanted too much of a commitment. Although, he wanted to move in together, for me to meet his family, and to get a dog together. I told him I wasn’t ready for those things, but he says I’m the one who wants too much of a commitment. He always talks about the future and has told me he was worried he would push me away if he cared too much.

He also is a military veteran with PTSD and other invisible wounds. He has been divorced for three years and recently moved back to his hometown, where I live. He is financially taking care of his teen brother and mother who doesn’t work. He started school right before we broke up the first time. He says he loves me but he doesn’t have time for a relationship, because he has to focus on work and school so he can take care of his family. He told me I deserve someone who is already financially responsible and has a life plan. I told him I didn’t care about that. After the last time we broke up, I cut off contact. He tried to text, but I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea because he wants space. He isn’t dating anyone. He really is going to school and working all day.

I had started NC but 3 weeks in he started telling our mutual friends that I hate him. He told them that I’m too perfect for him. I felt the need to ask him to stop telling people that I hate him. He tried to reply about other things, but I shut it down. He has been telling me for 5 weeks that he is mailing me a letter, but I have yet to receive it. I restarted NC, but I guess do you think there is any hope? He isn’t making any initial direct contact.

admin

April 24, 2014 at 4:07 pm

So, he has a lot going on. Man… thats a lot for any guy to take with the war and the PTSD and the teen brother and mother.

Its probably good he is thinking about you so much even if he is saying stuff like that.
Tina

April 24, 2014 at 6:54 pm

So should I move on or wait?
admin

April 25, 2014 at 11:10 pm

Well, its up to you ultimately.
Tina

April 27, 2014 at 3:28 am

I feel if he wanted to make time for me he would. He wouldn’t just end everything including being friends. But that’s a females perspective.

Tanya

April 23, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Hi,
My ex and I dated for about six months before he broke things off with me exactly a month today. we were so happy, made each other happy and made plans for the future i.e. get married next year etc. A friend advised on the no contact rule but the following day my cousin asked i send him an email, i apologized and all in he email, he reads it, calls me and says i should stop making it harder than it already is and hes not changing his mind. The reason we broke up was due to my fears and insecurities so i would basically accuse him of doing something or be overtly suspicious of other things and to be honest it wasn’t an issue of trust and neither did he give me a reason to doubt him ever, i guess its a baggage from past relationships. after the email and call, i left him alone for a few days no contact, i contacted his best friend and asked him to speak to him on my behalf, he was still insisting it was over, at that point i asked him to call me to which he did and we had a conversation, talking and catching up but still when the topic came up it was still the same response, after that incident i decided not to contact him (this was 2nd week after we broke up). I had to get in touch with him because of some recruiter he put me in touch with (he lives in the middle east and we were looking for jobs for me out there)so he called me back and we caught up again until i brought up the conversation of us again, he still was adamant. he sounded even more angry because each time we spoke i would ask if hes met someone and he will say no but then say to me this is what he doesn’t like and why he feels he made the right decision. at the end of our last conversation, i was very angry and asked him to go check himself and stop running away from his fears. that was 2 weeks ago. he has not contacted me since and neither have I. I am off to Dubai on Tuesday where he lives and I don’t know what to do, obviously i would like to see him but that will be breaking the no contact rule, he initially asked me not to come but my ticket was non-refundable and tbh i need a break from work. I don’t know if i contact him when im out there to meet up if he will oblige. he does know exactly when im coming. im so confused because i don’t know what to do. Another thing that’s confused me, since the last two weeks we haven’t spoken, he has been changing his profile picture on his blackberry messenger everyday, either with pictures of things we talked about or him going to concerts or having fun with friends and colleagues, now this is weird because ever since i met him and we dated 8 months in total he only ever changed his profile picture 3x. in my head i feel like he misses me and wants me to see what hes up to or sharing what hes up to without contacting me or am i reading too much into it. Please i need advise cos i don’t know what else to do. this was a relationship leading to marriage. I have apologized for letting my fears get the best of me, i know hes a bit worried about ending up in an unhappy marriage or something, maybe that’s his reason. please help cos i want him back but i don’t want to push him away any further as i realize i may have in the initial contact stage immediately after the break up. Please contact me asap. my trip is on the 29th April

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