The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Shan

June 5, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Hi Chris,
What to do when your ex is simply too stubborn and its like dealing with a brick wall.
We broke up 2 months ago, it was very sudden, it was me who ended it due to misunderstandings, I was very low at the time because of personal stress. When I tried to salvage things he refused. We met last week and had a big talk about everything. I had a peace offering for him, and his barriers came down and he held my hand, it was written all over his face that he still loved me. He said that he was very happy with us until those last few weeks when we were together, as I had become very negative and he couldnt do anything right. Up until this point I had met all his needs and wants. We talked about how Ive been going to counselling, and theres been some massive changes in my life and me as a result of all thats happened.
However, he just kept saying about being friendly. We work together. So we talked loads at work last week. Then his barriers came up, and I got upset.
He is very, very stubborn, and stuck in his ways. He has black and white thinking. If you break up, you stay broken up, you dont work it out…. But I dont think deep down its what he wants. He told me I was the best thing that every happened to him.
I decided I couldnt go on any more. Ive written to him and told him that I cant be his friend at this time and why. Mentioned the mixed messages, etc etc etc. Wished him all the best for his future. Im now going no contact.
I wonder if I may hear from him. I will no doubt see him at work.
What to do ?

admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:16 pm

You should read some of the “male mind” articles. I talk about stubborn people in there.
Shan

June 8, 2014 at 7:49 am

Ah yes, thank you.
I love your articles, they provide so much insight.
He is a stubborn guy yes. But I know he didnt view our relationship only negatively. He has wanted to be my friend since we broke up.
My emotions are changing again though, the hate I felt in the weeks immediately after our breakup has returned since I decided to say “no” to friends and go no contact.
It didnt help that I went out to bars with a friend last night, and ended up being harrassed by drunken idiots. All I could think about was him and how Id had the best, nobody can compare. Trying to move on is actually making me hate him…..
admin

June 8, 2014 at 8:20 pm

Why? Did he do something worth your hate?

Nana

June 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm

To be honest, i dont know if i should just send him a. Text saying ive moved on and im trying to live my life for my own happiness and not rely on others like him for my happiness. So that hed feel relieved and not worry that im going to become desperate and throw a rampage like the last time. I dont know its like im partially moving on, my friends are telling me not to look back but i do anyways.
Nana

June 3, 2014 at 12:18 pm

So ive accomplished NC and my first contact text to him was about congradulating him about graduation sice we’ve both judt graduated. And he replied late that day but never the less replied in a stranger distance like way. Only saying good luck to you too for college. And we talked a for a bit both taking our sweet time replying. And i ended te conversation saying that i was going to go sleep and maybe we can talk tomorrow for fun. But the next day i didnt text him at all just to make him wonder. Then the day after i texted him good morning and he never replied at all even though he checks my snapchat. How should i proceed now because first contact i got a positive/neutral response but now its negative.

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:29 pm

What was his negative response?
Nana

June 6, 2014 at 12:39 am

Well he didnt reply. So just today i texted him saying that we should try to be friends an he said itd be akward but i guess. Im not sure what my next move should be.

Aliann

June 3, 2014 at 2:45 am

Hi Chris. I found your website very useful after my bf and I broke up last month. When I read your advice, it made me come to realize to start the NC for 30 days. We are in an LDR so NC is not a big deal for me. Yet, he and I invested time, effort and emotions to each other. So at times, I was really breaking down and wanted to send him message during the NC. But what I did was to go back to your page and read the posts and comments, and it made me calm down and be patient. For 30 days, I did some exercises (of course till now), yoga, read, went out with friends, or even I went out alone. So things became routine as I am trying to make the best person on me. So, last Sunday was my 30th day of NC. I sent him happy memory message. Of course, I was not so hopeful that he will reply because we had a bad break up. As he said, he doesn’t need any women on his life. Blahblah. And surprisingly in 3minutes he replied. He said, he’s glad that I am safe and doing well. HE always remembers me and take care. Well, that gives me hope that all of my sacrifice and patience have good result. I believe it’s just a first step. In fact, he’s really special guy. Even our first meeting was maybe by fate. (like movie) 🙂 From the moment, I’ve met him, I write letters everyday. The first time we were apart, I gave him 60 letters already. And now, I am on my 32nd letter, if we see each other again, I will give all those to him again. I miss him but I need to be more patient. Thanks Chris!

Nana

June 7, 2014 at 12:40 am

Reading your story gives me hope since my ex and i have broken up one time already an this is our second time. People told me to just give up since it seemed like it wasnt working. Thanks for sharing your story.
admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:14 pm

Sounds like you are making some good progress!

Sarah

May 29, 2014 at 4:27 pm

I Don’t know what to say.. My ex broke up with me 8 weeks ago. He still loved me but we were fighting alot so he broke up but he have told me that he only did that to Take a break and see if I would change.. I got panic and depressed. I partied every wekend and one time i kissed a boy when I was drunk. Because my ex had Called me a slut etc and that he would never Take me back so I got drunk and made that huge mistake. We have fight a lot since the breakup i have terrorised him with texts and begged him to Come back. Today he came to my house, First time in 8 weeks.. We talked a bit then we had sex and I really enjoyed. It felt real and just like before. After the sex we talked, he said that i have destroyed everything because I had partied and i hurted his feelings because of that kiss with the boy… He said we could be friends but he had been depressed and now he wanted to party too… I really Don’t know what to do.. I love him with my whole heart, he means everything to me and he made me a better person. I am willing to do anything to get him like me again. He also said “I Don’t have to care anymore if you do anything with other boys beacuse we arent togheter”, fint get me wrong he did’nt lie.. He did’nt forced me to do anything, i started..
I really need advice.. What should I do?

admin

May 31, 2014 at 3:40 pm

The dynamic needs to shift.

HE needs to be willing to do anything for you.
Sarah

May 31, 2014 at 7:51 pm

I understand that, thank you for the anser and this page.. I Don’t know what I would to without it.. But how should I change the dynamik and make him to anything?
Shayyyy

June 6, 2014 at 3:49 pm

mMHM ITS answer not anser
admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Huh?
Sarah

June 2, 2014 at 4:56 pm

I started this no contact rule and he wrote 3 messages to me, that he did’nt want us to fight and he apologized for the last time we fight because he floppen out a bit… Should I still not answer him?..

Sheela

May 28, 2014 at 4:30 pm

Hey Chris.. My ex and I are present on a common whatsapp group.. It has been 2 days since i started the no contact period. And i have not responded anything on the common group. I want to know if i can respond anything on the common group or not ?? I will be flying to Dubai from India for an awards ceremony in another 10 days.. And i would like to post my pictures of visiting various places, receiving my award, etc.. on the common whatsapp group. Can i do all this.. There are 15 other friends in this group.. We are all from the same college. Need your advise Chris..

admin

May 31, 2014 at 3:17 pm

Of course you can. Just don’t talk directly to him if you are in NC.

Brit

May 28, 2014 at 2:49 pm

So I completely fucked up.. I was living with my boyfriend for a year and then I just up and left one day because his friends were just constantly disrespecting me and he didn’t stop them.. So then I called and begged and pleaded for him back for about 3 weeks now.. And he has a new rebound he says it’s nice to talk to someone who’s not fighting with him 🙁 think it’s pretty much over?!

admin

May 29, 2014 at 3:22 pm

You just up and left with no warning?
Brit

May 29, 2014 at 6:09 pm

Yup.. I always said I was going to but the one day I finally did!

Jane

May 27, 2014 at 12:00 pm

Hi I am new here. Hope you’re going to help me.< Its been 4-5 months since my ex-boyfriend for 2 years broke up with me.He said that he was tired of being in a long distance relationship and he said he wanted to be with someone who can be with him physically. He also said that because of missing me so much he did to his friend things that is for me but not that so sweet things but like being gentleman and buying foods for that girl. And he felt sorry for what he did. I was so angry that time and confronted the girl (just texting her)and told that she's a flirt knowing that my boyfriend has a girlfriend. The day after that I apologized to the girl because im not that kind of war freak. During our final day of breakup he asked me if I am going to give him second
chance in the future, because during our relationship he said he wanted to live his future with me. And I just said yes because im deeply in love with him. I also beg for him to come back. He decided us to be M.U. after our breakup and 25 days later he said that we have to moved on and end all that we had. After that we can rarely talk to each other I guess once a week for a month. And I was the one who initiated talk. But all of that is through text. Sometimes he send me message like "hi" "hello". In this March- May. I noticed that if i will not initiate to talk to him he will not find his way to talk to me. And if we talk it looks like that he doesn't interested but when i message him he will respond. sometimes during our talk we had some arguments because he got angry when he i bring up the past either its bad or good memories. That talk thingy i said is just texting and fb messaging. And our talk i guess from March-May is 2-3 times a month unlike
during jan and feb. My questions are, It is possible to get my ex back? Is NC rule can be still apply ? Help me please. thank you

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:48 pm

NC does apply still.

Victoria

May 27, 2014 at 8:29 am

I wanted to say to anyone reading these comments that this has been working for me. I got dumped after 8 months because he just lost his feelings for me. I was really devastated. I wanted to be mad at him, but I forgave him because he wasn’t a monster, only just cold and distant. I mention this because ladies, don’t try to get him back if he is an asshole or abusive. Just don’t. So anyway, I pretended to accept it but in my mind, I was determined to get him back. I called him once after that and he was really irritated, so I stopped calling him. Then I emailed him a couple times because we were involved in some projects together that needed tying up, but I didn’t say anything personal in the emails. After that, about two weeks later, I had no more legitimate reason to contact him. That’s when, after endless fretting and crying, I found this website. I waited two weeks of no contact because I just don’t have the patience to wait 1 month, and plus that could give him time to start dating someone else. So I waited two weeks and sent him a text, and he responded much more positively than I expected. Then I texted him the next day and we texted back and forth a lot. Texting is great because it gives you time to think of funny or witty responses, and I think my just being playful with him really worked. It’s pleasant and very non-threatening, and you can make him laugh or smile, or make him feel challenged to come up with witty responses. My ex is a very clever and funny guy, so that worked on him. For someone else, you will have to know what will make them see the interaction in a positive way. Maybe they like to bitch about certain politicians? Give them an opportunity to do that. Or maybe they like talking about movies? I think whatever topic they get excited about is the way to go. So anyway, I went out on a limb and asked him out for a drink three days later. We hung out for hours, and it was a little awkward, but overall a good time. Then I called him later that night (yeah, we were out drinking in the afternoon, don’t judge me!) and told him that I felt like a liar if I didn’t admit that I still had feelings for him. Then I asked him if we could hang out again and he said, “I don’t see why not.” So either he is open to us getting back together, or he just doesn’t mind being friends with a chick who harbors feelings for him. Either way, this is better than how we left off when he dumped me. Now it kind of feels like we are getting to know each other again and it has the butterfly feeling of a new romance. Either that or I’m just a sucker who can’t take no for an answer. So, success story?

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:46 pm

Thanks for sharing Victoria!

Kelly

May 27, 2014 at 6:12 am

Hi Chris,
We were living together for about a year dating for about 1 year and 7 months. Basically we broke up because I was constantly insecure about other women and what not so his friend explained he moved out and decided to break up because we had a lot of bad times and with me moving back home 2 hours away he was afraid my jealous actions would intensify. He mentioned the possibility of rekindling and right now I am doing the no contact and it’s only been a few days but he added a lot of girls on Facebook, including his ex before me (who is engaged) and started an Instagram and is following that ex and she’s following him. I don’t think it is a threat since their relationship ended with her finding her current fiancé but I do feel like this is him showing me all of his freedoms as a single that he would not have to worry about me nagging him about. In your opinion is there any extra step I would need to take to show him that I can be different and not care about petty stuff such as that or would you think that I already screwed it up by being that insecure the entire time?

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:46 pm

He just moved out without you knowing? I am confused.
Kelly

May 27, 2014 at 6:16 pm

No I knew he was moving out and we were still going to date. But then he broke up with me a week later and his friend was talking to me about it and told me what the major concern was.

Katie

May 24, 2014 at 4:36 pm

So me and my best friend have got much closer in the last 9 months. When we first met over two years ago we dated but then just turned into good friends. I got a boyfriend and he just carried on his single life (he is so scared if commitment it’s unreal) I broke up with my bf last aug and since then me and my best friend have got a lot closer. Knowone could understand why we aren’t just together and everyone can see the potential their except him. In march I told him we can’t be friends for a while because I had developed feelings for him and he didn’t feel the same he said ok let’s have some time to regroup our thoughts. We didn’t speak for two weeks then he asked me to go cinema with him and I accepted thinking he might behave differently around me this time and like an actual friend but he didn’t. He gives mix signals. Tells me he loves me and wants me to mother is children (when he is drunk) he is very affectionate with me, he invited me to all his coupley things… He generally doesn’t act like a normal friend but when I call him out on it he says it’s different with us were not just friends but were not anything more and we never will be. We had a massive argument and I told him to never speak to me again so he sent me flowers, chocolates and teddy bears to my work. A week later he went out on a date and felt the need to ring me on the way home and tell me all about it. I didn’t take it very well and we had another argument and we haven’t spoke since. He deleted me off Facebook and wrote some nasty tweets about me. That was two weeks ago. At the moment I’m very angry with him so I’m glad I haven’t spoke to him but I’m also upset because I really love this person and other then recently we got on so well. He really is my best friend. He angers me because he doesn’t see it when everyone else does. I suppose in thes two weeks so far I have missed him so much but I’m being strong and the anger is helping a bit. I’m just now worried that he doesn’t care at all and never has. As he is someone with extreme commitment phobia do you think I could ever crack that it do you think he just doesn’t care and when that person comes a long that he does actually care about he won’t be a phobe anymore. Oh god men are ao complicated!
elle

May 24, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Hey there. My story goes like this… me and my ex had been together for 5 years. It was a long distance relationship and we barely saw each other. I was an insecure fat girl and it was one of the reasons why I refused to meet up with him. About two months ago, I found out that he had been cheating on me with his partner at work. I was really devastated and tried to beg for him to leave the girl and come back. After the long argument and pleading, I lost and he told me that he is already in love with the girl. I did not contact him for 5 days after the said incident. After that, I texted him and he was complaining about the girl. He said to me that she is far from who I am. So, even though they were still together, my ex and I acted as if we were still a couple. About a week of calling and being sweet with each other, he came to visit me in my hometown. What I did was just confront him because I was really upset with what happened. (Btw we haven’t seen each other for 3 years before we finally met again). He then cried and said that why did I act like that, he missed me so much and all he got was a fight. I tried to console him and he hugged me really tight. We even kissed and after that. I then accompanied him at the bus terminal and he left. After that, he went cold on me and I was really sad. One night about a week after the visit, I was calling him and he answered the phone with an angry tone telling me that he is with the new girl (the one he cheated on me with). He then told me to stop whatever it is with us and try to be civil with each other. I told him how much I love him and he only said “I don’t care”. I was really hurt and depressed and decided to do NC. About a week after the NC (May 11-was supposed to be our Special day) he texted me with a smiley. I did not respond. The next day, he texted me with a smiley and a random gibberish word and another smiley… I did not respond. The next day I found out that his facebook password has been changed… I then texted him that night asking him about a job offer which he referred me to only to receive a smiley and nothing else. I texted him again asking him how he was but he did not respond. I then decided not to text him… Two days ago, I received a message from him on facebook asking me to text him because his girlfriend erased my number and all our conversations. I texted him, we exchanged text messages and he even told me that he missed me. He told me that he was waiting for a text from me but never received one. I ignored the question and injected a new topic. I even asked him how he and his girlfriend are doing and he told me that their relationship was meaningless because it only revolved around sex. He told me too that he wants to visit my hometown because he missed the place. After that, we said goodnight. Yesterday I did not receive any text from him. Today, he texted me again telling me that his girlfriend saw my message on facebook and she was mad at him. He even told me that we should be civil with each other when he calls me because his new girlfriend will be listening on our conversation. I then told him why not just do what his girlfriend wants him to do (which is not to communicate with me) but he refused to. I asked him if he was serious with the girl but he ignored my question. Then later this evening I asked how was it going with him and his ex but he never answered my text up until now. =( I do not know what to do. I really love him but I do not know if we still have a chance. Please help me. I’m really sorry if this comment went too long. Really need your help/opinion. i love this guy so much. =(

elle

June 2, 2014 at 8:22 am

why haven’t i received any reply. =(
admin

June 2, 2014 at 2:33 pm

Because it’s the weekend and it took it off haha.

Whats up?

Bethany

May 24, 2014 at 4:40 am

Hello!

Thank you for this webpage…it all seems very do-able! My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me last week, saying he just wasn’t happy with me anymore. When I asked him what he was unhappy about, he gave three reasons, all of which are easily worked on and could have been brought up without him ending it. The conversation lasted for two hours, and for some of that, I thought I had convinced him to stay with me. We are both in college and it was right before finals (sucky timing).

I really felt like it was a good relationship, and I have a hard time believing that he was really unhappy with me. I can be a romantic thinker so I sometimes fail to see the reality of a relationship, but SO many of our friends commented about how awesome our relationship was and how great it seemed. They talked about how happy it made them to see us so happy together. I really don’t know when and why the relationship went sour.

A lot of people are angry with him, but I’m not. I’m mostly frustrated that he wouldn’t give us another chance; only this time keeping his concerns in mind. He even said as he was walking out that night that he still finds me to be the most beautiful girl he’s been with and that he still loves me.

I think the plan you laid out sounds good, except he doesn’t get jealous easily. He had also said that this might turn out better for both of us, and I don’t want him to think that I am better off without him. I don’t want him to think I’m worse off either, but I wouldn’t want him to hesitate in asking me out again if he thought I was better off. Any advice there?

Thanks!

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:26 pm

Before anything, you might want to read the newest version of this page.
Bethany

May 27, 2014 at 5:01 am

I read the version that comes up when I Googled this in the last few days, so how might I see a more recent version?
admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:16 pm

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-version-2-0/

Cristin Crockett

May 23, 2014 at 8:53 pm

Did that comment post or what?

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:19 pm

Huh?

Cristin Crockett

May 23, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Myself and my ex officially broke up about 3 months ago. We we’re living together and we were more like angry roommates toward the end than anything else. After I moved out we decided we would “work on things”. Suddenly out of no where he says there is zero chance of us getting together and he is banging a 21 year old (he’s 27, I’m 34). He says it’s just sex but he can’t imagine dating me anymore. I’m not entirely sure this girl isn’t made up. He still likes to do things when I ask like go on walks with the dogs or go fishing.
He is apparently trying to get a job in another city. I think that may have something to do with the sudden change of heart.
I started the NC rule yesterday. What do I do if he’s moved away by the end of the 30 days. Would I still be able to make something work potentially? I would never move to a city just for a man, but I have actually been looking to get out of here. I’d build my own life separate from his.

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:19 pm

How likely do you think it will be that he will move away after 30 days?
Cristin Crockett

May 25, 2014 at 8:43 pm

There is a pretty decent change. He’s trying to transfer to another location with the same company he works for currently. He was just there last week shadowing and they have multiple positions open.

Janderine

May 23, 2014 at 8:40 pm

I was with my BF for 12 yrs. I had a daughter when we met. He’s raised her with me. I broke up with him almost 3 yrs ago. I felt like our connection was gone and he didn’t want to be with me anymore (or so I thought). After I moved out with my daughter he asked me to come back home for 1 1/2yrs. I didn’t want to put a cork into a sinkhole. I wanted to fix us. 7 months ago we had sex (i know bad idea) and since then I’ve been trying to start slow and reconnect. I started working on me, going to therapy, figuring out my issues and during this time my ex found someone else. I was doing very well until I got hammered a few days ago and went to his house and well you can only imagine….little did I know the new girl was there (or so he tells me). I did apologize for my actions. In the same email of my apology I did tell him “if he has a GF why has he been calling me everyday since I moved out leading me to believe we were getting somewhere, reconnecting”. I told him if his heart belongs to someone else then he needs to let me go…..he never replied. So here I am on day 1 of not talking to him. Do I continue on the 30 day NCR? Or is this a horse of a different color? I’m 36 – he’s 42.

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Yup continue the NCR.
Janderine

June 4, 2014 at 4:46 am

As you predicted I received a text on day 13 of NC. We have exchanged texts about our daughter but this is the first time he reaches out to me about the situation. His text reads; “I want you to know it sucks not talking to you. Even though I respect your wishes I still think it’s garbage. I hope you had a good weekend and I hope you have good week”.

ok………………….WTH? So he want his cake and eat it too?
Don’t worry, I did not respond. I wouldn’t even know HOW to respond to that…..
Janderine

June 4, 2014 at 5:40 pm

Day 14 of NC:
I am planning a trip with our daughter for her 16th bday to Hawaii and checked with him last week if it was ok if I pulled her out of school for a few days.
He responded today with this; “Thats a nice gift. I sent you a text and your ignoring it on purpose correct? Cause I’m sending you corresponding pics via cell. Wanted to make sure you got the text from last night and just ignored it”. Then he proceeds the email with our daughters final grades…
I want to respond about our kid and ignore his question about me ignoring his texts. What do I do??? It’s tough bcuz we have a kid so I can’t completly ignore… but at the same time I dont want to get sucked into that “us” convo! I am determinded to not cave before the 30 day NC rule. A little advise here…………………..

Thanks Chris!
admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:38 pm

My goodness… Can you take me on the birthday trip? I promise plenty of free advise!!

I think your right… don’t get sucked into the us convo. You are doing the right thing. Just keep it strictly about your daughter fo rnow.
Janderine

June 5, 2014 at 11:20 pm

Let’s go Chris, but only if we not talk about my issues LOL, it’s Hawaii for Pete’s sake HAHAHAHA!

Thanks again!
admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Fun Fact, I have been to Hawaii three times and each time it was absolutely gorgeous!
Janderine

June 10, 2014 at 8:53 pm

Chris Chris Chris – you are a genious!

On Day 19 (this past Saturday) I dropped my daughter off at his house in my tank and little work out shorts. Came in said hello to the X and his buddy who was there watching TV. Greeted his buddy with a kiss on each cheek (like I always say hello) and didn’t kiss the X hello like he’s accustomed to. I was polite, cordial. When I got home (10 minutes later) I had a text from my X talking so much trash. Saying “if I’m going out of my way to not be nice to him, It’s an ahole move, he’s done nothing to me, we spent 12 yrs together, how can I be a d%&@? He then said for me and my therapist to go fk ourselves”.
LOL – ok I shouldn’t be laughing but man you hit the nail right on the head when you wrote about different kind of emotional responses we could encounter with this tactic.
All of that just becuase i didnt greet him with a kiss…..
admin

June 11, 2014 at 4:36 pm

Genius huh!

Go on go on!
Janderine

June 20, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Uh-oh! Guess what day it is?? Guess what day it is! Huh…anybody? Julie! Hey…guess what day it is?? Ah come on, I know you can hear me. Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris… What day is it Chris?

It’s day 30. I did the NCR for 30 days!

What’s the next step?
Janderine

June 13, 2014 at 4:51 pm

I told him I wasn’t being mean at all and he is reading into this in a negative way. I was simply being cordial. He talked more trash and I kept calm and he got angry. I left it alone after that. Today is Day 23! Aren’t you proud of me 🙂 I am!
I’m feeling great! Working out, doing me, it feels good 🙂

danny

May 23, 2014 at 8:18 pm

My boyfriend just broke up with me we just had are one year anniversary. He says he still loves me but he’s not happy . He gave me a ring not a engagement .He has a new job and is leaving in a month. I just sent him a novel of texts help!I didn’t know

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:17 pm

Well, stop sending texts.

What makes him say he isn’t happy?
danny

May 27, 2014 at 2:41 pm

He said we can’t communicate without hurting each other .I told him we can find away to talk about how we feel with out hurting each other .But he doesn’t want to try he doesn’t think it will work .We are both very sensitive
and get hurt easily.We both don’t even know when we hurt each OTHER
danny

May 27, 2014 at 2:50 pm

He holds it all in then gets so mad he yells.I in turn cry .I just want to help understand why gets so angry,sometimes over the littlest things .
admin

May 28, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Immaturity usually plays a roll with stuff like this.
danny

May 30, 2014 at 7:48 am

I just want to thank you .I didn’t know about the 30day no talk but you helped me anyway .You got me threw a very hard time In my break up.He just told me thank you for the new job you helped get ,and sorry about still having sex you .Didn’t what you to be confused.LOL a year together why Would I be confused?Not anymore!!!
danny

May 30, 2014 at 8:18 am

Again thank you .I didn’t text or call him after reading your page.He sent me this text today .I’m done . But really thank you and for everything you did for me and other ppl on here.I have some insight on relationships.
Forever great full Danielle
Danny
admin

May 31, 2014 at 3:45 pm

Doubt he means it. He is just being dictated by the moment or more accureately, not getting his way.
danny

May 30, 2014 at 8:26 am

Ooh god ment want ,not what In the text sorry.

Seraphime

May 22, 2014 at 10:04 am

Dear Chris,
I just bumped to your site accidentally and I just loved your 10,000words 🙂
So, my boyfriend dumped me after our 4 years relationship. And he dumped me on our anniversary day last week. Like you said, I’m emotionally unstable and have the urge to meet him all the time. How can I able to live myself just like before I met him. When we’re still dating, we used to communicate all day long. He was the first and last person I contacted daily, so this break up thing has taking its toll on me. I texted him and went to his house twice after our break up (i know based on your suggestion i shouldn’t have) and he seems as miserable as I am, although he didn’t show it. On my first visit (the day after we break up), he didn’t permit me to enter his house, said that he still need time because he still controlled by his feeling of anger and disappoinment of this failed relationship. On my second (4days after break up), I successfully visiting him, saying I need to concentrate on my study and I need him, but I promise I won’t bother him, and finally he agreed to let me in. He’s in massive mess. He didn’t take a bath and waking up noon, just not like he used to. And what makes my heart ache, that he is using the glass that I bought him for our second year anniversary. He also still keeping our stuff and our pictures. Although on FB, he has changed his relationship to single (private) and locked our album. As far as I know him, I know he’s just as broken as I am. I really want to be together with him again and he said he also love me still, but he just to tired to continue, so he needed this break.
I’m worry Chris, will we be able to be together again? I have no doubt that he’s the one for me, but because of my carelessness during our date, I lost him now. Could we be together again? I’m confused what to do.

admin

May 22, 2014 at 4:08 pm

What did you do that was so careless I don’t get it?
Seraphime

May 22, 2014 at 9:24 pm

I play hard to get on our first year, but i changed with time, realizing that, he is the one I want to see forever. On our 3rd year, we hv to endure long distance and he seems wondering, why I didn’t approached him or make any effort to see him. But both of us still in college and sometimes our duties taking our time. But I also feel the same loneliness, he just to angry to see that and think I’m careless abt this relationship.

Ana

May 22, 2014 at 5:15 am

Hello my name is Ana

I’ve been searching online for self help on how to rekindle a lost romance and this is by far the best and most honest site I’ve found Thank you for helping us and being so generous with your research and knowledge it means A lot!
Sadly my situation is quite different and I need to write it out and explain it clearly to hopefully get your insight to get some help or advice. So here goes
I come from a sheltered family, both my parents are hard working and respect anyone with that trait, because they know nothing in life is free and it’s not worth getting something if you don’t have to fight for it they also try and I still these traits in me and I am in most ways similar but I like to think more open minded to them naive but I am a very different person and personality than they are I am compassionate, empathetic, sensitive, shy, and loyal which is why I want to find a way back to my ex because I can’t stop thinking about him and the amazing memories I shared with him. I must stress on this crucial detail that i know my ex since the age of 4, we were friends in daycare and long story short his eldest sister married my uncle from my dad’s side of the family ( this doesn’t mean we are blood related) so him and I have known each other since we were children, however we did have a falling out because I lived in a different country than him till the age of 18
When I came for university i lived in the same city as he and we picked up contact with each other and everything was amazing when I saw him for the first time in ages I had no idea he liked me so his moves seemed innocent until he kissed me at a theme park for the first time and I was smitten. Sadly I had to go back for a year and we did long distance for 3 months but it failed until I came back the next summer and we had talked out our issues since he had originally dumped me by not talking to me for the entire time I was away I was worried, crushed, and utterly betrayed but I forgave him and myself and moved on. So when I was back for good and coming for my freshman year of university we hung out and ended up being friends with benefits but we kept it a secret from everyone including my family since they don’t really approve me dating but I really wanted to be with him because I had strong feelings for him already and he was my first. Eventually I had met his friends and he invited me to hang out with him and when anyone asked we denied being anything more than just friends but we liked each other we didn’t see anyone else or date others but he kept me at bay he never allowed for any romantic feelings to surface from his part I on the other Hand did everything from cooking cleaning to learning a video game just to get his attention In that romantic department and I was hurt and inconsolable when he didn’t really respond to my efforts in a way that told me he cared more than he revealed but he was very sick this entire time and I still took care of him when he was too sick to get out of bed to eat or take care of himself and after a while of denoting his feelings he told me he loved me a year later and I was over the moon and had already vowed to try my hardest to make this relationship last no matter what it took because I was crazily infatuated with him I hung on his every word when he confessed his feelings and couldn’t believe I heard him say those things to me because I knew that he wanted to be with me. From there it was smooth sailing we hardly ever fought we agreed on many things and we loved spending time with each other even if it was just to sleep side by side we were the golden couple amongst our friends and did everything together we even lived together for almost a year and that’s when our problems really started we were living with people who brought us down and who we had to tiptoe around he provided for the majority and I helped out while I went to school and still took care of him when he was sick cooked and cleaned but he slowly started to change he started being colder and less interested which irritated me because he wouldn’t open up about what he was dealing with I felt like he no longer trusted me or cared about me slowly our passion dwindled and we seemed irritated and bored around each other and neither of us knew why but we never really talked about these issues because We thought we would have time in the future to talk through these issues until the day came when we both moved out because we were both travelling to see our families in different countries before we both left we saw each other a couple times and just being in a different environment with him everything felt better than the place we used to live in we were slowly bouncing back to our normal selves and we were even sweeter to each other but we never wanted to end our relationship. So when the time came for me to leave I left with a heavy heart and I was worried because I didn’t want history to repeat itself since he had stopped talking to be once befor previously and I was scared he’d fall out of love with me again. I was only gone for 2 months and we spoke everyday and things were great but when I got back he seemed sad and uninterested once again we spoke everyday but it wasn’t the same he’d just be quiet and nonchalant sadly we agreed to mutually brake up but I knew it was a mistake from the moment we ended it but I was stupid to speak out because I felt that he had already let me go. He held a no contact period but broke it to check on me I was angry with him and I let him know how I felt and that I missed him he wasn’t coming back for another 8 months so he said that this was better we spoke on and off but his betrayal stung me on a deep level I felt furious, sad, unwanted, and insignificant after 4 years of being with him
I couldn’t believe he just let everything go without a proper excuse or reason I was missing my closure all I felt was betrayal and abandonment and a broken heart and till this day it hasn’t changed I’ve tried to speak to him but it has always ended with my feelings of him out in the open and my heart on the floor he says he’s feelings for me are of a friend no romantic feelings at all and that it’s as if his heart had drained of the love he had for me… Clearly this is like taking a knife and twisting it in my heart. But for some reason all I think about is him I miss him and I wish he’d feel the same, he’s returning this months and I haven’t spoken to him in over 3 months but all I want is to find my way back to him and for him to want to do the same but this time for keeps…can anyone help me please? I’ve been stressed and going out of my mind over this and I know that if I try and I succeed I will be happy with him again I just need guidance and help (sorry for the novel)

admin

May 22, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Tell me what you have done so far tto try to get him back so I can see what we are workign with here.

Jesse

May 21, 2014 at 11:00 pm

Hi!
My boyfriend recently broke up with me, citing the fact that he just loves me as a friend as the reason. Our relationship started out kind of weird. We started living together last June because he was helping me get back on my feet after my separation from my ex husband. What started out as a friend helping another friend turned into a relationship last August. In December, we moved into a bigger place together. Our lease expires in November and I have decided to stay until then as my name is on the lease as well. What I would like to know is how I use these steps while we are still living together. We even still sleep in the same bed.

admin

May 22, 2014 at 4:03 pm

How long did you date him total?
Jesse

May 28, 2014 at 8:56 pm

Help!
Jesse

May 22, 2014 at 10:30 pm

We have lived together for about a year.
Jesse

May 22, 2014 at 10:28 pm

It was for 9 months that we were an official couple.

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