The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

D

June 18, 2014 at 10:56 pm

I wasn’t aware if the no contact rule at first and after a week of not talking-post break up he text me asking how I was, I told him I’m depressed and want him back. The reason for the break up was as he felt we aren’t compatible but for three years he kept me as a gf. He said it was hard letting go. I asked about marriage on a number of occasions and he always said he wasn’t ready. I honestly don’t think he sees his flaws, only mine. I want nothing more than to get him back now but he’s adamant we can’t be friends or ever get back together. What do I do?
Sara

June 18, 2014 at 7:30 pm

I didn’t start out as the ungettable girl. I catered to him, canceled plans for him, and let him get away with way to much. Not sure who broke up with whom but I am the one who removed myself. He still wanted to hang and be with me and claimed to love me but didn’t act like it. I know now I tought him how to treat me. My question is…can I do it over? Can I be the ungettable girl to him if I change my ways or will I always be the pushover to him?

admin

June 20, 2014 at 7:24 pm

Wait, how can you not be sure who broke up with who?

Akruti

June 18, 2014 at 7:26 am

Hi Chris,
Great website. THanks for clearing up so much.

He broke up with me close to a month ago. I met up with him and called him on his bday. After that I went NC for 2 weeks intending 30 days. Yesterday, he called me n said he misses me n called me more times within 12 hours than he has in the last few months. Do I restart NC again? Does missing someone mean they want them back or just a backlash of the breakup? How do I react to his texts and calls?

admin

June 18, 2014 at 2:03 pm

Well, i fyou are in NC just ignore his calls and texts.

La Menefee

June 18, 2014 at 6:13 am

Im back to the NC after recieving a text from him, Our past relationship was serious, we got engaged. But after that ended, I accepted that it was dead… the past is the past (dont want it anymore) . Now I’m focused on a clean slate, creating a new relationship 10000 times better and stronger…that’s definite to last.

After doing some thinking , my mindset has changed and Im seriously investing time and effort to get him back….by making HIM do all the work!

1) HE contacted me first !!, he has been thinking of me, wanted to see how Im doing.

Ever since the break up I been working on my ish … focused on me …getting into shape (super sexy) , Im on a clean detox and I feel great !

Oh yeah he has a rebound but I’m not worried it wont last for a few reasons : she’s in a different state, cant see him everyday, already has a child,( he wants his own) they communicate thru text, .. how can she tend to his everyday needs from miles away…IMPOSSIBLE !!!

So I do have advantage!
“

admin

June 18, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Why did the engagement end?

(so sorry..)
La Menefee

June 18, 2014 at 6:57 pm

We had an argument … made irrational decisions .. he recently text me out of the blue and apologized during the NC . ..im not sorry, Im focusing on me now

Kelsey

June 17, 2014 at 9:25 pm

Hey Chris,
I dated my boyfriend for three years. We were each others first love and best friends. About four weeks ago he broke up with saying that things didn’t feel right anymore and that he felt bad for disappointing me. A day later he told me he regretted breaking up with me and we talked for about a week, then he called it done for good. I stopped talking to him for a day because I was going to try to give him some space but then he texts me saying he can’t stop thinking about me and what I’m up too and what not so we talked for almost two weeks and we hung out a lot and everything felt great and I honestly thought we were going to get back together but a few days later he said he’s made up his mind and said we’re done, once again. Now he doesn’t reply to the last two text messages I’ve sent him, so I am going to do the No Contact rule for 30 days and try everything you’ve said to do. I just hope it works and that I whether or not I should be going for it and any extra advice would be great!

admin

June 18, 2014 at 1:33 pm

In other words, he didn’t really give you a good answer for the breakup? Do you have any idea why he really broke up with you?
Kelsey

June 18, 2014 at 2:03 pm

He said that he started to fall out of love with me.

Jenna

June 17, 2014 at 5:08 pm

Hi Chris,
I just wanted to know your opinion on this situation of whether it’s worth it to get back together with my ex. Or if you think it’s possible to. We dated 8 months but then he broke up with me because of distance. He was going to lie 4 hours away from me all summer and he didn’t think he could handle long distance because he would lose feelings for me living so far away without being able to see me everyday like we were used to. Ever since he broke up with me he had been talking about getting back together with me and he talked to me as if we were still dating. He said he was sad a lot. He came back to visit me after 3 weeks of distance and decided he still couldn’t do long distance because it was weird not seeing me for such a long time. He still talks to me everyday but quite in the sweet caring way he was before like when we were dating or when he was talking about getting back together with me. It’s more of a strictly friends way and sometimes he almost seems kind of upset or angry. Do you think we have a chance of getting back together? Or even of getting back together once the summer is over when we live in the same area again? Or do you think I just need to let him go. I’m having a really hard time doing that because he is the first guy I’ve ever loved or really dated.
Diamond

June 17, 2014 at 2:32 pm

What if you already sent him the begging and emotional text ? I started the no contact after the last text. And he still haven’t replied, it’s only been 4 days though so I guess I have 26 more. He broke up with me because he is addicted to drugs and when he’s high his mentality is changed and he has no emotions. Which is why it was easy to leave me, we were together for a year was 1year and 6 months 🙁 my birthday is the 6th. What should I do if he says happy birthday ? Or what do I do if he doesn’t ?
Juliette

June 17, 2014 at 8:29 am

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago now… We really loves each other and we were like bestfriends, lovers, and siblings… We fighted too much in the end and the break up was a rash decisson and First he broke up with me then he Called and said he was just angry and then i broke up with him because he just laughed when i cried. Then later we got togheter and then he broke up with me, all this in 2 hours… I have made all the misstakes i could make, I have Called, begged, he has seen me cry a lot, i have told him i misses him and everything.. He was so Cold and mean and he told me so many bad things, Called me every bad name u can call a girl.. So I started party with my friends and got drunk for the First Times’, I Called when Iwas drunk but he was just mean.. Then one time, 5 weeks after we broke up, i kissed a boy when I was drunk… It was a short kiss like 2 seconds, not tounge.. The day after I wanted to tell him and I really regretted the kiss, bud someone Else told him.. He slapped the boy, he had terrorised me everyday since that. He has been mean, Sad, cried, acted like a douch etc… I really sis big things to show him that I really regretted it and loved him.. He has not told me he loves me even one time since we broke up. First he told me “i stoppad loving you long before i broke up” then he said “i stopped loving you when you became a slut and started partying”… We had sex 2 Times since the break up… Everything felt good when we were togheter, both of us were happy and it was like we were togheter again. After the sex both Times he remembering that boy I once kissed and he yelled, got mad and i went home… I am torn and broken… Then I started the ni contact rule, directly he wrote out on his ask that he missed me, and also that he doesnt take me back because I have been with others… Thats not true, only that time with the kiss but then i have’nt been with other guys because I really love him. During my no contact period he also beggin to like my old posts and pictures on Facebook.. I felt that something was totally wrong so yesterday (one week of no contact) i texted him that i missed him.. First he told me that he did’nt want me to text because ha had just started to feel well, then again 3 hours later he texted me that ha has been with other girls… He had “made out with them and stuff like that” he wanted me to find out from him and not others like he did.. I can’t even describe how much I cried and how hurt I am.. I Called and cried, i asked stupid things like “did it mean anything to you, does she mean anything??” And “is she better than me”
He could’nt answer… He said that she did’nt mean anything. And asked if that boy was better than me.. I said that i at least regretted everything, but he was like proud of it.. I asked why he did it and he said that he felt for it and wanted it and that I have Done the same thing.. I wrote him a long. text after that, told him I wanted to give him time and that he only needed 100 hours to forget me, find another and that i wasn’t as important as he had told me.. I putted pictures of me and hon in fire and sent to him, he just laughed.. But i know he was with his friends then.. After that i putted out a pic of myself on instagram “nothing can break me anymore, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it”, his friend liked the picture and a minute later he started following me and liked the picture and another old picture.. Later at Night when he was Alone he texted me That he did’nt wanted to make me sad, that ha knew how it felt and that he at least wanted me to get to know thru him…”
I did’nt answer, my stomach hurts, I can’t think of anything else i feel so broken, i have made all the misstakes i could make
Aurora

June 17, 2014 at 5:56 am

Hi chris,

Quick question – it’s his birthday on the 21st day of no contact period – should i text him or not ?

admin

June 17, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Do not contact.

Jessie

June 17, 2014 at 5:46 am

Hi Chris! I really need your help in getting him back.
I have been with my ex boyfriend for 8months and on Jun 5th, he broke things off.
Towards the last few months of our relationships we have been so distant. We meet and text significantly less and he ignored me for 2 weeks. When I texted him to ask what happened, he replies through text that he wants to break up with me. He thinks we aren’t a good fit at all and there is nothing we can do about the situation but moving on…
He sounds so firm on his decision. I didn’t reply him at all and now I start following the NC for nearly 2 weeks.
I miss him so much but I dun wanna screw things up because I want to get him back.
Yet, 30 days of NC seems so long to me. I am afraid he has already moved on to sb else or he has forgotten about me 🙁
What should I do next?

admin

June 17, 2014 at 9:05 pm

Youve got to do the NC…

Anna

June 17, 2014 at 12:20 am

Hello!

My boyfriend broke up with me after i overwhelmed him with my problems and used him as my only tool to gain love and support. I was going through some personal issues and took everything out on him. We had just started long distance and out of the blue, over the phone he decided to end things for no reason. He has always been very hard to read, as he keeps to himself alot and doesn’t share his emotions with too many people. Everyone loves him, especially me. I have followed the no contact for a month rule, and i have recently sent an apology text for acting the way i did. he is very stubborn and since we are doing long distance, I don’t know how communication will go. I do not know anything about his life or his situation, if he has moved on or not. He recently changed his profile picture like you mentioned with all girls in it, but i didn’t react or commment that i knew about it. It obviously upset me but again i do not know why he is doing this, he could be trying to show that he is moving on or trying to make me jealous. I am not sure how to approach him, how much time to give him after i send the apology text message. How do you know when enough is enough and he is never coming back?

admin

June 17, 2014 at 8:47 pm

Probalby trying to make you jealous.
Anna

June 19, 2014 at 2:37 pm

Really? How do you know this? I have sent him a text message apologizing for my behavior that caused him to leave and be overwhelmed. What would you suggest as a next step?

Jane

June 16, 2014 at 4:47 am

Chris,

I know I’ve been a nuisance leaving many comments on your website.

Basically I’m not the angry type, I’m a very reasonable and caring girlfriend (he always says that and keeps telling me he feels bad he doesn’t reciprocate the same way). He broke up with me twice saying he wanted to do his own things and a relationship made him feel suffocated. Every time I managed to convince him that he was shying away and that I would give him space, so we gave it a shot anyway.

He’s the awkward nerdy type but we get along extremely well, even he admits that. But every time he hurts me he keeps using the excuse that he is not ready for a relationship.

Our recent breakup ended in a half patched relationship.

But today I decided enough is enough. Even though I love this man desperately and want him to be with me forever, I need to stop living in my fantasy and start respecting myself. So I broke up with him and wished him all the best.

I’m going to follow your NC rule strictly, so wish me luck.

My question is: was it the right way to break up? will he ever want to be with me again? I must be bullshitting for saying that I broke up with him because I wanted to. Deep down I really want this man!

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:26 pm

Good luck and I think you will have success if you are following NC.

Erin

June 16, 2014 at 1:46 am

Okay Chris,

You might remember I said I won’t contact him again.
But something funny happened on the net about his hometown and I had to share it with him.

He answered in a humorous way, joking about that like a day after. So after all four mails, the pattern shows that he answered messages not touching any topic related to our past, he did not even answer the message about how we had fun in the past. Give me some tips. How should I contact him or continue talking to him? Should I just leave it because he is totally over since he doesnt talk about our past? Or does he just not answer about the past because reminiscing is still hard for him? Please help me!

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:23 pm

Depends on your ultimate goal. If you sense you want to give this a shot or not.
Erin

June 16, 2014 at 7:37 pm

I want to get him back! But I feel like I don’t have the energy to go through it.. Especially if he is really over.. Especially if the thing that he doesn’t answer about our past means that he never has an intention of getting back together. I am not really determined to pursue getting him back even if i really want him in my life!

Gracie

June 15, 2014 at 11:56 pm

I was with my boyfriend for 1 year & 9 months. We are both born in 1994 im 19, hes 20. In the beginning we were ”seeing” each other for like 2 months. It was an attraction thing more than anything. Then we started dating & 2 months after that, having problems at home, he let me move in with him and his parents. That’s when i really got to know him and it was really fun. However after time, we didnt have any space between us and although i was ok with this, he wasnt. We stopped seeing friends properly eventually too. We still had always believed we would eventually get a flat together. Over this time, our personalities (im more confrontational and opinionated, hes more submissive and doesnt say his true feelings) clashed a lot. we argued about silly things, i got jealous really easily & liked having him all to myself. Time passed and eventually we got a flat together, we were so excited. However things just got worst. Arguments became more brutal and emotionally abusive. less than three months moving into our own flat, paying bills together sharing money etc, he broke down & went to stay at his parents house for the weekend. He was very cold about it all and said we don’t have enough space & he still loves me(tearfully said it) but the good of our relationship didn’t outweigh the bad anymore. He said it wasn’t worth being in anymore. We both agreed we are very happy alone together, never get bored etc, but the problems were the mis-communication, control and abuse that i caused him. We talked on 3 occasions in person after the break up as i had to move out (he can afford the flat alone but i cant)to talk about what happened, why and what to do with our flat. He was stern at first (because he felt like he had to be since i was always the dominant one) but i broke his defense walls down and we had a nice time together & talked normally. When it was time to go, we cried for a while, kissed and said our goodbyes. I told him there is still a future for us, if it isnt working now because of my problems then it might do one day when i work on myself. He didnt promise anything and didnt say yes or no but said he was open minded. No matter how much i talked about our feelings & that it can still be worth it because we both know we feel it, he still was stern and the way he talks makes it seem like he never wants to be with me or live with me again. He said many times ‘i love you but i dont want you anymore.’ I dont really know how to take this. I can only be optimistic because he said he was open minded. We also planned a trip in december that we already paid for non refundable. Its june right now and he kept saying to me ”i would like to be friends one day, but im not going to talk to you for a very long time. I need to move on with my own life because i havent been able to do it for a long time.” The way he acted and said it made it sound like he wouldnt talk to me for 10 months if he could. He just seems a bit cold about it and this guy is patient so he can hold back from messaging me if he really wants to. He has a supporting family and friends & for the week that i had to pack my things alone in the flat, he was happy and enjoying his time with other people. Does this mean there is no hope for future? Eventually i will try these techniques but when do I? I know i cannot do it after a month – he will think it is too soon. Before i left i told him to consider going on the london trip with me which is 6 months away as friends. Again he was open minded to the idea. I said what’s the worst that could happen? He said ‘you could come onto me. I doubt i’d date you after 6 months.’ I really want to be with him again, even move back in with him because although i agree that we should not date now, I know theres still something special between us. We ENJOY our quality time together and are so happy when we do. I know it would be a waste if after all the problems were fixed and we Couldnt date again. I want to go on the london trip with him to have some alone time, to perhaps reignite the romance (we went to london the year before that too but with a friend, it was really nice) but how can i do this? Do i start the first text after 3 months or is that too soon? I told him i would work on myself and only contact him when I’ve dealt with my problems and rely on myself for my own happiness. I know this will not take long as he think it does though. The rules here mention 1 month i know i cannot apply this to him though. I want to leave enough space for him to move on with life and improve myself, but i don’t want to leave it too long to the point where his feelings for me may not exist anymore.I know there will be a point of no return if i take so long to do something. How long should i wait? Its 16th june now; should i wait 3 or 5 months? It just feels so long. I would like to have a friendship with him before our december trip if i have any chance of convincing him to join me. Please help me.

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:18 pm

I think you can at least get a friendship with him before december but lets be honest here. You want more than a friendship don’t you?
Gracie

June 16, 2014 at 8:19 pm

Thank you for replying. Of course i would want more than a friendship with him but I am willing to be patient. I still have hope that it can happen again because i know how we are when were normal around each other – we’re happy. its not worth losing permanently. I thought he was the one. Does this mean i cant use these techniques on him because he will probably just want to be friends first? Or will they still work?

Jazzy

June 15, 2014 at 7:51 pm

so I was dating this amazing guy for almost one year. Towards the year mark he started acting up and saying rude hurtful things to me. He got drunk and broke it off with me:( He then later told me ” I just can’t love you like I should” What does that mean? We had an amazing relationship and we never fight? He kept mentioning how he has never been in a long relationship and couldn’t give me the time that I deserve. He kept telling me that I deserve better? Can’t I choose what I want? That was about a month ago. We have texted and seen each other since then. I feel like he’s torn about his feelings. I ran into him on Friday at my house talking t my neighbor. He was surprised to see me since I should if been at work. He gave me a big lingering hug and told me it was good to see me. Now, We are talking about meeting up. I ended the text by saying “we’ll figure something out. Have a fantastic weekend” it’s been a few days now so I texted him back that I’m available Wed? Now what? He is conflicted with his feelings. I feel like he doesn’t know what he wants

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Anything that you picked up on that could have been a predictor of his future behavior/breakup?

Gina

June 15, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Hey Chris, I just discovered your page about how to get your ex back and I think it’s great. Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years and it’s been more of a rocky 2 years than lovely. We brake up and get back together very often but, this time his broken up with me and it’s for good. He broke up with me last week Sunday night going into Monday morning while we were on the phone. In our relationship I found it hard to talk him about how I feel most of the times because, I felt like he wouldn’t understand. Also when he ask me certain things I panic and lie to him. This is what lead to him breakin up with me and he says how we argue too much. So, like I said he broke up wiv me on Sunday night I then deactivated my fb for space but, it didn’t work. I ended up on Tuesday reactive ting it and tellin him how the whole thing is killing me but, he simply told me it doesn’t mean anything to him anymore because, it’s the same thing everyone we get back together. I know right hurtful much, so that convo ended. I’m considering doing the NC rule for 30days but, am afraid that if I do it and try to hit up at my ex which is the boy am talking about right now, he might feel like it’s been a month and now u hit me up because that’s the kind of guy my ex is. Please Chris I need your help ASAP

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:06 pm

Don’t consider it… DO IT!

Jessie

June 15, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Hi Chris! I really need your help in getting him back.
I have been with my ex boyfriend for 8months and on Jun 5th, he broke things off.
Towards the last few months of our relationships we have been so distant. We meet and text significantly less and he ignored me for 2 weeks. When I texted him to ask what happened, he replies through text that he wants to break up with me. He thinks we aren’t a good fit at all and there is nothing we can do about the situation but moving on…
He sounds so firm on his decision. I didn’t reply him at all and now I start following the NC for nearly 2 weeks.
I miss him so much but I dun wanna screw things up because I want to get him back.
What should I do next?
Jim

June 15, 2014 at 10:59 am

So me and my ex broke up about a month ago after a very brief and intense relationship of 8 months. She broke up with me because she wanted a temporary break at first, and later completely broke up with me because she liked going out with her female friends more than hanging out with me and she said she didnt really miss me. Ouch…
During the breakup we basically kept in touch, sending eachother textmessages daily. The texting conversations were casual but she would get angry whenever i wanted to talk about us or get an explanation for why we broke up.. Anywho, we had 3 get togethers since we broke up, drank a couple of beers and during these meetings she would just flirt with me all the time and give me all these mixed signals. She said she still wanted to do fun things with me, we kissed at every get together and she even said she still loves me and misses me from time to time. Also she is very interested in which girls i am talking to etc.
I confronted her with the things she said yesterday and she totally flipped out, saying it was ME who initiated the kisses and that she felt sorry for saying she still loves me. I find it really hard to believe she is 100% done with me like she says everytime we had a fun get together.
So last night was the ultimate fight and we called eachother some bad names. I am planning to start the no contact thing but I just dont know how to deal with this. I feel like somewhere deep down she still loves me and doesnt want me out of her life. That’s the signals she’s giving me when we see eachother in real life, however the next day she just doesnt want me to get my hopes up and stamps everything in the ground, really hurting my feelings. What is up with her and what should I do..?
Rlee Whiunui

June 15, 2014 at 10:06 am

Hi i would like to know how this would work if you dont see your ex at all? How would any if this work? Me and my ex worked together after the break up i found a new job so i dont see him at all now.
sara

June 15, 2014 at 12:11 am

im met him on chat talking alot then told me the distance bothered him because he far to me 3 hours on the car so lets be friend then we met in person he kissed me alot and told me i feel more friend and he want more and im so attractive and sexy for him , second day he told me he jealous to any man contact me and im his mine , after day he told me he has problem in hes life so lets be a friend and hes not happy but its ok if im dating other man but that not great for him , and he start less text then responsible if i send text for him ,after two days i text him and told him hes play game with me and take advantge becouse he knows im lonly , hes upset and told me hes not feel the same on my level and hes not take advantge and hes busy and i should find other one , im sent text for him how hes hurts me and im stupied becouse im trust and love him and he will know how he lost when you love other women , after 6 hours im text him and apologized told him sorry but hes not answer , after two day im text him sorry i was mixed emotion and lets be friends , he text me yes and he glad about that , im start text him every 3 days hes text back , but hes not text first after that text him but hes not responsible a week so im stop text him now 3 weeks no any contact but hes not text me , im still love him and i don’t know what can i do i need text him after month or leave him because my friend told me he was played game with you .
do you think if im ignoring him he will back ??

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8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”