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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Why Avoidants Say Things That Don’t Make Sense
The Weird Things Avoidants Do When They Like You
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How A Secure Handles An Avoidant Pulling Away
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Melissa
October 2, 2014 at 3:27 am
Hi there
My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago because i told him i was unhappy with him (because he didnt gave me the time i want it, he was too busy with college), of course i was wrong about that argument and told him i was sorry for reacting that way, i was willing to change my additude toward his education stuff. Of course he didnt really listen (i guess) so he said i was the right girl in a wrong period of time, he wanst ready to be in a relationship and to study (really really hard) at the same time. So he end it. I barely tried to convince him otherwise, and didnt insist at all to get back together.
2 weeks later i text him shortly and ended the conversation, he was nice. Since then we’ve text each other poorly, he’s the one who starts conversation an usually ends them.. he’d call me a few time “just because” and i dindt answer, but called him the next day. The conversations are generally weird and awkward because he acts over excited, too much joy for the actual conversation we´re having. I really want him back but he is totally convinced that he needs to study without seeing anyone. I believe he still likes me but he just want to be my friend right now. I would like to talk to him about us but theres no “good” time to bring that up, is it to late to talk about it? would it be weird to say tihngs i wanted to reply the day he broke up with me? How can i bring up the topic?
admin
October 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm
He broke up with you b/c he has to have alone time to study….
Thats dumb.
Samantha
October 2, 2014 at 1:08 am
So I’ve been in quite a drama
With my ex. After lots of back and forth and then telling him I wanted him to be happy in his life and whoever he wanted to be with and I’m here to support him as his friend, he immediately reached out to me to check over his resume and whatnot. It seemed like he was being my friend. Thereafter we chatted online and I sent him some resources for his job search as we are pursuing the same field teaching English abroad. All was well and then he ignored me and got cold again. I confronted him about it telling him I’m trying to be your friend can you not ignore me or be hot and cold. He started saying why I take things so personally and then we really got into it. He started saying he is so much happier in his life now that he’s not with me, and I never appreciated him etc etc. obviously he has a bad aftertaste from
Me, but that’s only because I was in a depressed state due to a debilitating car accident. Yes I maybe didn’t show him all he wanted but a) he never voiced what he needed all that much and b) I was in the lowest place because of my accident. We still had wonderful moments together and now I’m doing much much better. I honestly felt we were great and want to get him back. But then he ended his convo with such meanness and anger saying he is so glad he is not with me and what about all the things I did to him. I was shocked and hurt and finally ready to do the NC for 30 days cause I haven’t truly done it before. The only problem is we work on music together and he will be sending me my songs soon and I have to pay him. Can I still pay him through paypal during this NC since it is business? And then also what do you think, you think I can get him back if I follow the NC for thirty days? Thank you so much!!
admin
October 3, 2014 at 2:30 pm
I think it should be ok to do it through paypal.
Jane
October 1, 2014 at 6:54 pm
Hi
Dated a man for 7 months. We both fell totally in love. We are 50 years old. Broke up 3 weeks ago. His bosses wife did not like me. They do everything together. It got so bad she put her foot down. I did nothing wrong. His boss basically threatened my bfs job. So he broke up with me for his job. It was 3 weeks ago. I contacted him 5 days after the break up and he seemed pretty happy. I bumped into him twice and it did not go well. He was cold. I called and he said he felt bad and wanted to talk but never called back. I text one more time and he said call you later this week. Never did. That was 3 days ago. Ugh
admin
October 3, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Have you attempted the NC on him yet?
Belle
October 1, 2014 at 6:49 pm
I don’t even know where to start. So there’s this guy who’s going to university with me (he’s 21). At the end of last year he started contacting me on Facebook and I had the feeling he really liked me. He would write all kind of cute stuff. He was so shy with me and I found that really cute. We would sit together in class etc. He wasn’t really my type at all though and I almost immediately put him in the friendzone.
Then, at the beginning of this year (in February) he started asking sexual questions like “Would you be up for a friends with benefits thing?” I was and still am quite young, and I had no experience with men or sex whatsoever. However with his manipulative ways, he managed to make me really want him, in a sexual way. So we met up a few times in March and I started to really like him. I knew I was falling for him. At this point however he would change and become a lot colder towards me. He said things like “If you knew what’s going on in my head. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s all my fault.” We got into some big arguments. Also because he constantly talked about other women, his ex girlfriends, affairs, friends of his (he has no male friends). This really annoyed me and I told him.
Then, in April, I found out that he was doing sexual stuff (petting) with another girl from university (HE introduced me to her and she eventually told me a few days later). We were both shocked to find out he had tried that with the two of us. At this point, nothing sexual had happened between me and him, only cuddling. So I thought he favoured her over me (and that was obvious when we three met up) because they were doing things like that. It really hurt me deeply. And so I eventually gave in to him in May and we did petting. He was back to being really nice and cute to me for a day or so, but then things got from bad to worse. He even told me that he’s lost interest in me. I made the biggest mistakes afterwards. I was clingy, jealous, desperate. Of course I drove him away with that. I realise that now.
The “other woman” and I kind of became very good friends, but she was still friends with him (yes, she was also jealous, but she wouldn’t tell or show him). We would constantly chat about him and I made the mistake of trusting her and telling her about my feelings for him and hopes and fears regarding him. I asked her specifically NOT to tell him, but of course she did. She also told me after we found out about each other in May, they had done sexual things two more times (he would always try to convince her and those two times, she did give in).
I thought about killing myself because of him (I had bad depressions and was so insecure about my body, which I hadn’t been before) and I told her. She told him. She also told him I loved him. I found out yesterday.
I have really changed since then and I feel like I am a better person. The advantage of being friends with the other woman is that she would also tell me stuff about him. Like things he didn’t like about me. He said I was “like a child” because of my jealousy. He didn’t want to be in contact with me anymore (not even friends) and still doesn’t. So I knew what I had to change. But now I’m really scared that I’ve driven him completely away. Because she has told him that I wanted to kill myself because of him. I can imagine that this is something that really REALLY drives guys away. All I want is to show him that I’ve really changed.
admin
October 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm
I don’t know if you should be trying to get this guy back… He seems like such a negative influence in your life.
No man is worth jeopardizing your well being. NOT EVER.
Belle
January 18, 2015 at 11:46 am
Thanks for the response. A lot has happened since my last message. Good things but also bad things. He broke it up with the other woman. I’m still friends with her, but she’s got a boyfriend now and she has completely blocked “him.” Anyway, since their friendship started crumbling he started being friends with me again and he’s called me a lot and we’ve been doing things together every day since October. He doesn’t love me and I know that. But we started chatting about sexual things again in December and he asked me if I wanted to hook up again with him. He was really turned on by our chats, I know that. So I gave it another try and we did it 2 weeks ago. I was so happy because I thought “well finally I get what I’ve longed for since last year.” But the 2nd time, which was last week, he told me it has to stop again. I was shocked. Because in December he had made it sound like this was going to be sth longer this time, not just once or twice. He told me it’s because once we really get into it, he can’t let it go so easily and becomes emotionally involved. So when he’d have a girlfriend again, it’d be hard for him, so we better stop things right away. I couldn’t believe it and asked why he wanted to start in the first place then. He said “Because you wanted it.” I did NOT! It was a mutual agreement! Yesterday though, I found out the real reason. He told someone that it was nice, but it didn’t feel right and that he’s a little digusted by me because of how I smell down there and because I’m so thin. I can’t believe that! I mean he should’ve told me the true reasons! I feel so used now. I’m really about to completely change for him again (try to gain weight and make the smell better), but I think if I get rid of those things, he’ll find new ones. I’m just so disappointed and don’t know what to do. I still really want him. 🙁
Kate
October 1, 2014 at 6:50 am
Hello Chris,
First of all I have to say Thank you all of your time helping us who want to get an ex bf back. Now I will start my story, I have end my no contact days on the last friday and sent him a text about the restaurant and dish that we had for our first date as I want to bring my friend there. He answered me nice and said thank you for the surprise. then i wait for 24 hours and sent thank you and said i have to head out for pool party with friends then he not answered. I sent him text again on this Monday evening that I had watch last episode of the the tv show ( that we watched together ) that he told me about and I agreed with what he said and i will waiting for the next season. He not answer me either 🙁 what should I do next?
Thank you in advanced Chris!
admin
October 1, 2014 at 4:01 pm
Why did you wait 24 hours to respond to the initial text? You are only supposed to wait a few minutes to an hour.
Kate
October 2, 2014 at 2:21 am
Well I read another website and they said I should wait 24 hours at least to show that I am busy. So what I support to do now? When can I send him a text again?
admin
October 3, 2014 at 2:27 pm
The final decision is your obviously.
What do you think he will react better to?
Kate
October 5, 2014 at 11:18 am
I think I will email him again on the next Friday, telling him about the Halloween costume because we been talking about this a lot when we were together and what are we going to wear and maybe send the funny meme about that costume.? what u think?
Me and my ex we not live in the same country.
Anni
September 29, 2014 at 7:01 pm
hey,
Me and my Boyfriend just broke up or should i say in the verge of break up and the reason behind this is his parents. Sorry to say but he is more attached to his parents and has that misconception that i won’t be taking care of them.Now we are not in taking terms.I am afraid how to start communication with him and get him back. I really love him and want to spend life with him.
admin
September 30, 2014 at 2:56 pm
Why would he think you wouldn’t help take care of them?
Nelly
September 19, 2014 at 8:39 pm
Hi Chris,
Me and my ex were together for 7 months but he was seperated from his ex wife and his ex didn’t want to divorce as she was using him financially and they have two school girls together. So I dumped him many times during this 7 months because of his problems with his ex and divorcing period. But he came back to me each time saying he loves me and he will put things together. But I dumped him again in middle of June and around ten days later he called me and said he is finally divorcing and they have a court appointment in acouple of days.
We got back together, he divorced but he seemed like in depression and unhappy because of the divorce so I wanted to stay away from him for a couple days only contacted him over phone to ask how he was but at the last contact he started to yell at me accusing me leaving him alone on this his sensitive period of his life, no matter I said I couldn’t convince him then I dumped him again. Our all fights were like this, he had problems with his ex or about his kids and I didn’t want to get involve and he accused me for leaving him alone never convinced so resulted me dumping him.
Last time was horrible as we said many hurtful things to eachother. I blocked him on FB, Instagram and whatsupp (I did these before also).. Around ywo weeks later he texted me in the middle of a night said he is so drunk and trying to sleep in his car, I had missed him so much and told him he can come over. He came and hugged me tightly slept on my knees, in the morning we had sex then he left for work. I thought we got back together but he didn’t call me all day, I texted him in the evening to ask what is going on and he said he is confused, he doesn’t know what to do and he is scared living through all that fights dumpings all over again. But he said he wants to talk later. I said ok. I waited 5 days but he didn’t call, I only unblocked him on whatsupp and texted him when we are going to talk. He said he is still in the same phase don’t know what to do. So I got angry and texted him back saying if you don’t know what to do, do not text me or come to my place again we both should move on and shouldn’t look back. he didn’t respond. And this was exactly 25 days ago I never contacted him, I didn’t unblock him on FB and instagram but left whatsupp unblocked and now I am dying to see him and get him back. He never contacted me either. This is really a long time for him and I am worried if he has really moved on. I don’t want to contact him with the message you advised after NC period as I was the one who said lets move on. I dont know what to do… please help…
admin
September 29, 2014 at 4:24 pm
Divorce is devestating for everyone involved. He is all sorts of confused.
chris
September 18, 2014 at 7:09 pm
My ex and I have been in a relationship for nearly 3 years. We are both 24. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and says the future is so so uncertain that he can’t give me what I want ie.commitment. He is adamant that he made the right decision and won’t change his mind. He says that he loves me that that is why he is doing this. I’ve been devastated and broke nearly all the rules in the first week of breaking up. We still both have feelings for one another but have decided to not be friends at this stage as it is too painful for me.l although we both agreed that our relationship was beautiful amd special and he will never forget that. I will begin the no contact rule now and see how it works.
admin
September 29, 2014 at 12:45 pm
How serious is the relationship?
nana
September 17, 2014 at 9:42 pm
Your website made me a lot better! Thank you so much!
Excuse me if my English is hard to understand (Im not native)
My ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. We were together for 2years. We had 11yo difference (Im younger) We had had few breaks before but he always came back to me saying he had made a mistake.
But this time it was actually breakup.He told his family about us too. He said he loves me but something didn’t feel right and he doesn’t know what it is. He also thought our age difference wouldn’t work out (he worried if I would cheat on him in the future).
He didn’t really say the actual reason that made him want to break up with me, but I can tell. I was really cranky and moody. Especially the last 2months together. If I were him I wouldn’t want to be with me andthink about the future with me.
I am doing my absolute best to change my bad character and I want him to see that. Im working out too. We ended our relationship over facebook message and I hate to end this way. I wanted to see him but he said hes busy so I stoped asking him(I didn’t wanna be too clingy). I haven’t seen him for a month and half now although we had some chat. I could tell that he cared about me.
Now Im on 2weeks of NC. Its killing me but I wanna get him back.
I hope I can meet him after 30days NC but how can I let him know that Ive changed when we catch up? I think he will come back if I became a happy attractive person like I used to 2years ago.
I just don’t know how to make him realize that Ive changed…
admin
September 18, 2014 at 4:34 pm
Just stick with the NC right now. YOu are doing well.
nana
September 19, 2014 at 7:54 am
Ok. Thank you for your advice 🙂
He always worried our age difference and if I might cheat on him someday. He said “If we get 40 and 30 you would be with another younger attractive guy ”
I told him that Im not that kinda girl and love him no matter what but he said people are all like that. I thought he didn’t have a confident on himself.
Is there anything I can do to erase his negative worries about age difference?
admin
September 29, 2014 at 12:55 pm
How often would you have to reassure him?
nana
September 30, 2014 at 9:35 am
We used to see each other once a week and I had to reassure him one a month or 2.
Jordan J
September 17, 2014 at 7:56 pm
I broke up with my guy August 5th after dating for a year and 6 months, before college which is 2 hours away. The only reason why I did was because for months of my family and friends telling me to break up with him because he would hold me back, I wouldn’t get to live my life, I would be too consumed in him. We are friends now (I don’t want to be, I want him to my boyfriend again) and I have plenty of time for him and homework and all my activities, but I want to be able to go home and see him, kiss him and all. I immediately regretted my horrible mistake and I told him that, but a few days ago he said he wanted to be friends. He then was talking to his other ex…who has feelings for him still. Since we are “friends” I talk to him quite a bit. What can I do to get this relationship back?
admin
September 18, 2014 at 4:32 pm
NC seems like an ideal start.
Jordan J
September 18, 2014 at 9:21 pm
For a month? I’m only on the second day, and it is frustrating me so much. I’ve ignored 1 instant message and 1 snap (snapchat) yesterday. He didn’t try talking to me today, probably only because he’s been too busy snapchatting his ex girlfriend, for all I know they are probably back together.
T
September 16, 2014 at 9:00 pm
Hi me and my boyfriend of ten months broke up nearly two moths ago after we argued a lot and I stalked him twice to his house. In that time I’ve chased him and he soon got annoyed and started blocking my numbers. I’ve changed it numerous times to get through to him. The last time I did I just sent him a nice text to say I’m sorry and wished him the best. I sent this via whatsapp and his blocked me on there but not sure if overall. I have not contacted him since then and it’s been a week. During the break up he said I took peace away from him and that he didn’t love me anymore. Idk what to do :/
admin
September 17, 2014 at 4:51 pm
Did he notice you stalking him?
T
September 17, 2014 at 5:21 pm
Yes he did but After that he was okay with it and we left things on good note. I’ve called few times after but then I started pestering so he blocked me
admin
September 18, 2014 at 4:19 pm
How bad was the pestering?
T
September 18, 2014 at 10:29 pm
I’d constantly text and call like twenty times a day :/
Jasmine
September 15, 2014 at 11:43 pm
I’m 20 years old, my boyfriend was 19. We broke up about two weeks ago and I really need your advice.
Our entire relationship he’s been obsessed with me. I encouraged him to spend time with his friends but he rather wanted to spend time with me above all, so he barely spent any time with his friends during an entire year except when we were partying.
Then this period came when things were going bad for him, including no job and bad economy. And he blamed everything on me for some reason. He was tired all the time and began to behave really badly, he couldn’t take one second of sarcasm from me without lashing out telling me how annoying I am. Then one day he had enough of me and threw me out his apartment. I cried and tried to get him back, but he refused and acted as if I was filth to him and ignored me most of the time, including my texts. He told me to leave him alone and disappear out of his life for good, he even wanted me to leave the city so he doesn’t have to see me again. During this time apart from me he refused to be alone, he was always with his friends, playing computer games with them, riding along in the car with them and of course partied a lot.
I texted him every day ,telling him I would wait for him. Then one day I gave up and he knew I was letting him go so he wanted to meet up and cried and cried and wanted me back, so we got back together. Then we had one great week after 1 month of barely seeing each other, but after that week we started fighting again. I broke up with him over silly things, but I regretted it immediately and wanted him back but he refused. He’s back to treating me like filth. Last time I saw him I was crying and I almost begged at my feet for him to take me back. He was mad and yelled at me to go away, leave him alone etc. “Go fuck every guy you can lay your eyes on, I know you will now that you can’t have me!” (Like im some sort of slut). And yeah, we parted. He was mad , wanting nothing to do with me, and I was sad, he could see that. I asked him if there was any chance for me, ever in the future. He said no, not ever. He said that he needs to be alone (yet he’s always with his friends) and doesn’t need a girlfriend to worry about and think about all the time. That was yesterday and we haven’t spoken since. He’s also been acting weirder and weirder since he began to spend time with his friends again.
I know we’re young but we wanted it all! Marriage , kids, and I am crazy for him. We had wild chemistry and I know for a fact he’s still attracted to me ,but apparently doesn’t want me anymore.
Have I any chance of getting him back, even if he says I haven’t? Please help me and tell me what to do!!
I don’t wanna text him all the time (haven’t yet) , but i’m so afraid he’s going to forget me! He’s so good at blocking that stuff away and he’s going to find someone else soon because he’s very addicted to feeling good about himself and having a girl making him feel that way. Please help me, cause i want to be that girl!
admin
September 16, 2014 at 3:25 pm
Have you tried any form of NC yet Jasmine?
Jasmine, from Sweden
September 16, 2014 at 4:46 pm
It’s been almost two days without contact from either side, it’s just that I don’t think he’ll ever try to contact me again, I think he’s done with me and not contacting him will only make him forget about me, but contacting him will make him even more annoyed with me, it feels like I’m gonna lose him either way.
admin
September 17, 2014 at 4:12 pm
Its just two days Jasmine… It still so early.
Jasmine, from Sweden
September 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm
I know for a fact we’re both going to the same club on friday, what should I do if we see each other?
admin
September 18, 2014 at 4:27 pm
Be extremely upbeat and positive.
Jasmine, from Sweden
September 16, 2014 at 4:51 pm
+ It’s my birthday the 24th of october and I’m almost 100% sure he won’t contact me then either, which will break my heart even more.
And i’ve already done the things on your list that you shouldn’t do, I was needy and so desperate during the breakup, he knew I’d do anything to get him back
admin
September 17, 2014 at 4:12 pm
Its not that big of a deal if he doesn’t contact you on your birthday. Seriously, in the grand scheme of things it isn’t.
A
September 15, 2014 at 5:25 pm
Hey Chris, acutally i really wanna thank you for this site. It has made me feel better and I have hope of getting my ex-boyfriend back. I have written here many times, when I have got hurt or something, but I was using another name. I dont have to tell my whole story etc and ask for many advices becuase actually everything stands here on your page. Im so thankful fort this. But i only have one question, next week my ex has his birthday, I was planning to buy him something special that I know he likes. But i realised it’s stupid and will not change anything. My question then is, should I tell him happy birthday? I really eant to, beacuse his birthday means the most for me. But how should I tell him happy birthday?
We broke up in april. I have wanted him back and I have done everything i shouldnt, like begging, crying, stalking him, not given him space or not even made him feel like his lost me. I was dumb when we broke up, I couldnt stand that he didnt want me back, started to drink every weekend like 3 weeks. I kissed a boy 1,5 motnhs after we broke up when I was drunk, still he cant get over it and it is holding him back. He is still so hurt about that. He did the same thing (what he told me I dont know if its true) to give me revenge. We have stuck togheter but he didnt wanna give me a chance. We have had sex like 4 times since the breakup and no one dates another. He has told me many times when he got mad that he dont wanna have conact anymor etc.. It has been some many ups and dowm. Now i startedthe contact rule for real, its my second day now. I now im not allowed to write or ansswer. but I really think I should tell him happy bithday…. what do u say Chris?
admin
September 16, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Your very welcome!!
No breaking NC for happy birthday…
A
September 16, 2014 at 9:11 pm
But this is very important and a different situation… I really care about him and I never now with him. It might even break my chances of getting him back if I act like I Don’t care om his birthday.. Why is it bad to tell hon happy birthday ? ;(
admin
September 17, 2014 at 4:27 pm
I am posting an article today that is going to explain why 🙂
A
September 21, 2014 at 10:42 am
It’s to late now.. This Friday I saw the one thing I never wanted to see in my life. I was on a disco. He came with his friends 2 hours late. I saw him when he gave his jacket to the wardrobe.. He looked at me and hugged a girl. They were hugging eachother from the beginning. I Walked away tried to forget it, I Danced with my friends. Later i looked away and say him watching me while he was standing with the girl. When we got eye contat he started making out with her. I fainted. I Walked home 2 hours earlier from the disco and cried all Night. I have just been in my bed and felt like shit.. He has told his friends that it was the best Night in a long time, that he had so fun and made ut with a girl. His friends told me that my friends had said “he wanted to make her jelaous and hurt” then he said “no, it was not because of her, I wanted to do this. Why does she even care? We are not togheter anymore and we broke up 6 months ago”…
I have a knife in my heart. We have stayed in contact since we broke up, he gave me small hopes and we have had sex. So how can he do this?
A
September 21, 2014 at 10:42 am
It’s to late now.. This Friday I saw the one thing I never wanted to see in my life. I was on a disco. He came with his friends 2 hours late. I saw him when he gave his jacket to the wardrobe.. He looked at me and hugged a girl. They were hugging eachother from the beginning. I Walked away tried to forget it, I Danced with my friends. Later i looked away and say him watching me while he was standing with the girl. When we got eye contat he started making out with her. I fainted. I Walked home 2 hours earlier from the disco and cried all Night. I have just been in my bed and felt like shit.. He has told his friends that it was the best Night in a long time, that he had so fun and made ut with a girl. His friends told me that my friends had said “he wanted to make her jelaous and hurt” then he said “no, it was not because of her, I wanted to do this. Why does she even care? We are not togheter anymore and we broke up 6 months ago”…
I have a knife in my heart. We have stayed in contact since we broke up, he gave me small hopes and we have had sex. So how can he do this?
Anna
September 9, 2014 at 4:40 pm
My ex broke up with me earlier this year in March. He said he had lost feelings for me since we were long distance due to internships. After NC for a month, we went out for dessert to talk. Unfortunately it didnt end too well since he told me he was in love with someone else from his past but due to their age difference at that time, they did not pursue each other. He told me that he would do anything to get her back now. After a month or so, he told me that he decided to end things with her.
My ex and I go to the same university and during the summer, we bumped into each other a lot and ended up having an on and off relationship for 4 months. After classes ended, I ended up going on vacation for two weeks. I came back finding out that he had recently started to get involved with one of his high school friends (cuddling, holding hands) and I was devastated. I had asked him if it meant anything and he said no. It wasn’t until a few days ago while we were making movie plans did he tell me that he is now seeing his high school friend.
What do you think I should do? I have’t contacted him since he told me he’s been dating her.
Gabriela
September 5, 2014 at 2:52 pm
Hi! Me and my boyfriend of 2 years & 2 months broke up a week ago. He actually has broken up with me close to 3 weeks ago because i accidentally threw the promise ring out the window. Then we started talking again for a week. After that week we went on a break for 4 days and then we officially got back together 2 sundays ago. But this past Monday I broke it off because he didn’t seem to want to see me and blew our date off for the weekend. I ended up having an anxiety attack on that Sunday and my girl friend came to the rescue and called him and he didn’t seem to care. I was very distraught so I ended it with him. On Wednesday of this week i caved and sent him a voice message. And he said that it was best that we both walk away from each other because the relationship became “unhealthy” which I do agree. Now its friday and we were suppose to meet up with to talk and basically say what we have to say and completely be done with the relationship. But i don’t think Im gonna meet him up. What do you think I should do? Please Help!!!!!
admin
September 15, 2014 at 2:26 pm
What was his reasoning for the break up?
Jennifer
September 5, 2014 at 12:14 am
Hi Chris,
My name is Jennifer and I recently graduated from high school. Now, I’m in community college.
The summer after graduation my boyfriend broke up with me. Well, he tried to a couple days before graduation. I know this because I called him the night before graduation. I noticed that he tends to tell me the truth when we talk on the phone. The week of graduation was sad for me but it should be the other way around. His reason to break up with me was that I was going to college and he wanted to grow up. I didn’t understand because I was still close and I was wondering who was the mature one here. The phone call before graduation, i suggested a break. It didn’t work out. He posted a picture of this girl (his cousin which I didn’t know) during the break. When I saw it, i panicked and messaged him constantly which was a mistake to do. When he messaged back, he said that he appreciated me that I cared and he hoped that he made my senior year special. But it’s time. So days after, I finally let go. I tried persuading him and telling him that we could just fix the problem, but it didn’t work. He was still on the same mind set. I said that I didn’t want to stress him out anymore and that I really cared about him. He replied with,”that means a lot to me! You’re very mature.” I just felt really sad. It’s been 2 and a half months since we broke up. In those months, I’ve been crying on and off. I thought that I was fine by now. If I cry this much, then I must really love him and I do. This is actually my first heartbreak and I don’t want to lose him.
He lacked communication and respect.
He had me and my friend’s yearbook for a month. I’ve tried asking him constantly to return it, but he tried to ignore me and not tell me anything.
So, we didn’t sign each others yearbook. The day he returned them, i gave him an 8page letter that I wrote for his yearbook. It contained many memories that we had together and I wished him a good year. Because of this letter, i felt like it changed his mind or feelings about me.
So, I’ve noticed some signs. My nephew is in marching band and he had band camp recently. My ex is also in marching band. Well, i visited for a couple of days and he was there. I tried to act all happy and friendly towards everyone. It seemed like he was showing some signs of liking me. One day, we were watching a live show with everyone and I invited some friends to come and I coincidentally invited him. I was just being nice. He sat next to me and I pointed out a cute guy. So, he kind of hinted that he was comparing himself by pointing out that he was blonde. He would also look at me across the room. He did some childish stuff too.
Another thing that happened was that I told him that I was going to California. I also told my friends too, but he was the only one who texted me have fun the day I left.
I don’t know, if I should make the first move and ask him what’s going on. People tell me to let him make the first move for once. What shall I do?
Sincerely,
Jennifer
admin
September 5, 2014 at 12:34 pm
I erased your last name since I figured youd want some privacy.
Have you attempted any form of NC yet?
Jennifer
September 10, 2014 at 3:22 am
Yes I haven’t texted him for almost a month. Over the summer, we texted a little bit on and off. I see him once a week, but we don’t really talk.
Melissa
September 4, 2014 at 8:48 pm
Can you please help me? I’m very lost.
My bf and I have been dating just over 4 years. We started dating at the end of highschool. We are 21, im about to be 22. Our relationship was rocky generally, but we were always very happy in spite of that. Just after our 4 years anniversary, it seemed like he was loosing interest and more frustrated with me. That was the only warning sign really. He left me 3 months ago now. His reasons were that he needed to do something with his life since he hadnt been in school for 2 years and only kept one job for about 3 months during that period of time and he said he saw me as more of a friend now. I did have issues with jealousy and clinginess so im pretty sure that played a factor, but he really didnt want to talk about how I influenced his disappearing feelings, grasping at straws when he did talk about it and saying how he doesnt want a relationship with anyone right now. I did the typical begging , but no texting/calling. He was very mad and sad during the breakup and i know how deeply he loved me. He talked to his bestie and he told me that me that my ex was missing me, and that is was the hardest thing for him to do, but that he wanted to try and figure out where his life is headed without a relationship.He left the week after the break up to visit his family in jakarta for a month, as planned. I didnt try to contact him at all during that time, but the day before he left I showed up at his house and I asked for another chance. When he came back, his friends told me he decided to move across country to florida to get a job with his aunts business and go to school there, he told his friends not to tell me because he didnt wanna tell me til the day he was leaving. I was devistated but I didnt contact him. He texted me the day after he got back and we chatted. Then I stopped replying a day later. He txt me the day he was leaving and said I have to come pick up more of my stuff. I showed up and he was really happy to see me. We hung out for 4 hours and even tho his friends were gonna come over to say bye, he asked them not to come because I was there. When it came time to say bye he was crying. We hugged for a couple more minutes, his body language showed how much he liked me, he said I better go or else he’s gonna have sex with me (joking but showing his interest), saying that Im the most beautiful. He said “we have to stay friends. When I come back in december we’ll play (such n such) games and go see the hobbit” like we’d planned before the breakup. I handed him his aunts jewelry to give back to her and he said “no you can give it to her in the winter” and I said okay but I thought I wasnt gonna see his extended family anymore since we’re broken up? He was leaving with no phone and planned to buy one in FL. I said txt me when you buy a phone, but he said we cant be friends like that. See the back and fwd mixed messages.. That was a month ago. Last week he txt me from his new #. His 1st txt he didnt say anything, he just sent his fav picture of bobafett that he knows would help me realize its him. Weve been talking every few days for two weeks, all of them his contacting me, txts are several sentances long, often he sends 2 or 3 txts and im trying to keep my texts the same ratio or less. I subtly asked him why hes texting since he said he wasnt gonna txt me. He said “I thought we could txt as friends but not more, ill stop if you want”. I said I thought it was counter productive since he asked for time and space.. he replied “I want you as a friend, I think were better like that. You dont think so?” And I tried to avoid an answer and said how our friendship developed from the relationship and we based our relationship on our friendship which is healthy. He agreed and said thanks for the experiences… that was two days ago and I dont know what to do now. Was I really friend zoned or is he faking trying to figure out his feelings? Should I start NC again?
Thank you so much.
admin
September 5, 2014 at 12:30 pm
Wait a week and try textin ghim again.
Melissa
September 5, 2014 at 4:42 pm
I think it was an excuse. Why should I continue to text him? Am I supposed to continue being his friend or should I go NC and let him think? I feel like it’s hopeless now that he plans to stay in Florida..
Melissa
September 4, 2014 at 9:23 pm
Also, when he left he said he didnt see me in his future anymore. He claimed that because my life is so in order that im ready for marriage, and he said hes immature and doesnt wanna fet married.
admin
September 5, 2014 at 12:31 pm
Was he accurate about this or do you think that this was just an excuse?
C
September 4, 2014 at 11:28 am
I was seeing this guy for several months. Everything was going great, we would talk non-stop all day everyday. He would want to see me all the time and I was in complete control. Then I had a bad day and cried on his shoulder. After that he became a bit distant and then stood me up. He ended things with me saying he was bad for me. I said fine and cut of all contact with him. Then he wouldn’t leave me alone! So I gave him another chance but it wasn’t the same. He never had time for me and would constantly point out that we weren’t dating. We ended things for good and I told him I didn’t want to be friends. He still texts me sometimes and snapchats me.
Is it possible to go back to how we were at the start of our “relationship”? I haven’t contacted him in nearly a month but he has sent me some snaps and a text which I have ignored.
Help!
Elizabeth
September 4, 2014 at 1:03 am
Hi. My boyfriend of 10 months just broke up with me. He just started college and said we were going nowhere. His friends talked to him then told me that he said I was annoying. And looking back i can see that. I really love him. He makes me smile even when im sad. Can you guys help me?
admin
September 4, 2014 at 12:22 pm
Give me specifics. What kind of annoying things did you do?
Charlie
September 3, 2014 at 3:01 pm
Hi….. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We have known each other since 2011 and got involved but he panicked and ended it after a few months I used to call him all the time then I gave up and moved on. I met someone else and was with him for a couple of years then it didnt work out and I ended it. As soon as my first boyfriend heard of this he started contacting each other again…. It was perfect for 3 months all the previous problems were gone its like we value each other more….I was pretty sure things are going great. Then he decided to start a business I supported him and helped him as Much as I could. A few days ago he decided to break up with me because he feels he will be so busy for at least a year nd doesn’t want to be unfair to me. Of course I said that this is stupid and doesn’t make sense so he apologized for it and said he is just stressed Bcz of the business and everything. He asked me to forget what he said. We went on a date and things were fine. He started to drift away. I waited for him to call me all day then I called him at night to find out he booked a trip with 2 friends for 3 days!! Without telling me anything. I snapped I told him you r too busy to call me or text me and u have time to travel? I just wish you care more nd call me at least once a day…. He said I need to break up. I called him of course and he responded in a v bad way. And he travelled today…. I really love him and he says he loves me but I always see the things he doesn’t do and I generalize…. When he is the one who broke up with me over an incident. What can I do now?
admin
September 4, 2014 at 11:54 am
Did he mention anything about the trip during your date?
charlie
September 6, 2014 at 3:32 pm
No he says it was a surprise I texted him while he was away…. He didnt reply but today he got back and he called me. He said he was being himself but the relationship deteriorated on its own so we dont make each other happy. I’m never satisfied this is not true. During the last week my mother was admitted twice to the hospital I was just trying to tell him that I needed his support. At the same time I know he is nervous about a new business he will launch this month. He offered earlier to break up bcz he will be so busy with the business in case it succeeded then he took that back bcz it didn’t make sense. I was supporting with this business and I guess he felt he is assuming way too much. I told him today on the fone that if I were him I would see what went wrong I wouldn’t generalize. He said if in one month I felt I miss u I would even propose and accept all ur shit. I objected to what he said and I hanged up. I just feel he is taking down all his stress on me.