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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Why Avoidants Say Things That Donβt Make Sense
The Weird Things Avoidants Do When They Like You
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How A Secure Handles An Avoidant Pulling Away
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jack
February 4, 2015 at 9:32 pm
I had a 4 year relationship and one day i got really mad with my girlfrie d because i came up with a series of emails she wrote with her exboyfriend a few years ago, at first she denied it all and when i showed her the emails and i asked her for an explanation and she told me a strange story which she regret after and then told me the true i felt that she was lying to me and got very angry and without thinking i broke up with her and 2 days later i regret it and told her i made a mistake, that i was sorry and wouldnt do such thing again i am truly convinced of my mistake and i am sure it wont happen again. She did not take me back because i talked to her in a bad way and because i broke up with her just like that. I begged her for 1 straight week and we meet a couple of times (this was her idea), she hold my hand and hugged me and she even kissed my once, i thought we were going to get back togheter again, one day after she didnt called me and the next day i texted her but she was extremely cold with me, two days after i called her to ask her what had happened and se said she had been weak, that she was feeling lonely and that was the reason she wanted to see me but she still felt the same about not going back togheter and that we should not contact any more because that just made her feel worst. I havent spoken with her since that day (2 weeks now) what sould i do? What should i think about the days she wanted to be with me? Should i turn the page? I am very confused.
admin
February 5, 2015 at 3:25 pm
Why don’t you check out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery?
Kay
February 4, 2015 at 11:31 am
Hi, I have read through the page and it has helped greatly, giving me hope and the motivation I need. I struggle to find an example something like mine to see if this would work for me.
My ex broke up with me after 7 months says he just wasn’t happy inside and doesn’t know what he wants. I was heartbroken and made a few mistakes that you described in your don’ts. This happened once before to us he said he wasn’t happy nd I should leave but the next day we talked and got back together. The problem was we picked up where we left off and went back to the way we used to be and that was a mistake.
The reason I want him back is because I love him, he brings out the best in me on so many levels and we had such good times together. Don’t get me wrong our relationships wasn’t perfect but it was more good than bad.
There has been no no contact in place and I gave in to temptation and went over and slept with him. Let’s face it every girls has needs lol. The problem is after the dead I asked if I should just go. Get in, do, clean up and go but he asked me to stay and watch a movie with him. I expected to sit on opposite couches as friends would do but he came over, asked me to move over and pulled me into his arms, wrapping himself around me. I held back a bit not touching him or that just keeping my hands to myself but he constantly made sure he was touching me and if I sat up he would pull me back down. We had sex again and then I left as it was late, I was tired and he was up very early that morning. Since then any conversation has been short and blunt (to the point).
I don’t know what to do, where I stand or if there is any hope of a reconciliation.
I need help and am not afraid to admit it.
Any advice that may help unscrambled my brain I will welcome. Good or bad.
Thanks.
admin
February 4, 2015 at 2:31 pm
By any chance have you read any of the other pages on this site?
Trust me, they will answer a lot of your questions.
Kay
February 5, 2015 at 7:09 am
I have read every article and link on this page. Am I just missing it?
admin
February 5, 2015 at 3:43 pm
Haha no I mean this entire website.
There are like 70 articles you can comb through. Obviously you could grab the book if you seek a more structured game plan.
Kay
February 6, 2015 at 6:37 am
Aww is lol!
Can’t afford it right now but I will be at some point
Thanks π
admin
February 6, 2015 at 2:30 pm
No problem!
Utilize the free material on the site there is more than enough honestly!
Fer
February 4, 2015 at 3:33 am
Hi, Chris! I’ve sent you an email to chris@exboyfriendrecovery.com, I really need your help please!
Tracy
February 3, 2015 at 8:42 am
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend emailed me saying we should break up because we were in two different emotional states in our lives and the life stress is conflicting with our happiness. I am not sure what to make of it….we were friends for nearly a decade before we started dating. It’s been 2 months and we only had an official date, we were initially long distance and when he finally managed to move back, he broke up with me a week after our first date. It was mutual that we liked each other and we have life goals that are the same, family and kids and etc. i really want to talk it our with him, the urge is so great….
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:41 pm
He moved back and broke up with you, seriously?
kay
February 3, 2015 at 3:21 am
Hi,
My boyfriend ended up our relationship about 3years ago without any reason .all though we are in contract .now he is in relationship with some other girl.but he like me.we use to spend more time till now even after our breakup.
to b honest I’m still in love with him and can’t even think of a life without him :'( .help me to get back my boyfriend
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:29 pm
Have you followed any of the advice I have laid out on this site?
Nikita
February 2, 2015 at 11:18 pm
Hi Chris,
I really need to ask you something, because my situation is really rare. I dated a professional soccer player for almost a year and we ended up moving in together for almost 5 months. We broke up once for a week and got back together and after 3 months ended up breaking up again. I did the NC rule for 30 days and in the last week, he texted me really harsh things and was really mean. I ignored him and after the NC period, started with the first text message and he reacted positive and also apologized for his mean text. I controlled the whole convo and also ended it.
I know he kinda misses me, but his dad doesnt want us to get back together because he want’s him to only focus on his soccer. He is really controling and that is also one of the reasons why we broke up. Because of his parents, who were always interfering with our relationship. So my question now is, how can I go on from here if he 1. reacted positive to the first text message after the NC, 2. Is talking to new girls ( i think for the distraction) and 3. when his parents are consistently telling him that he needs to focus on his sport and not girls. I know that he is holding his pride because of his parents.
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Believe it or not I worked with a girl named Madison in 2013 and she got her pro soccer player boyfriend back!
Just keep slowly advancing the process. Be better than those other girls.
KC
February 2, 2015 at 6:36 pm
Hi, Chris, thanks for this website. It gives me hope and the direction I need. But just a few questions and I hope you’ve not answered these a thousand times already. First, I’m only on day 3 of NC b/c I have had to start over, but I am wondering if he never attempts contact with me in these next 30 days, does that indicate that he has no interest?? I know I am still a long way out, but when it comes time to meet for the first time, what do you suggest if it leads to being physical? Is that okay? B/c I would not stop it.
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:04 pm
I would say don’t sleep with him until you are officially back together.
Morgan
February 1, 2015 at 8:37 pm
Hey chris, my boyfriend and I of 6 months are in an awkward phase. he got drunk at a party and there was a girl there who was going around kissing everyone. this is his first relationship and has never been with anyone else. he says he is confused and wants to possibly breakup. We have a slightly long distance relationship only an hours drive between us. he wants to break up to experiment and explore but this has only come up due to this party and that girl. I went to his house and dropped off a letter talking about my feelings, our relationship and stated that i hope we could work through it. i also met with his friends who said that he is not acting like himself at all and that he is really confused and acting like a 2 year old. he’s normally very mature and has a head on his shoulders. i employed the NC but he say a snap story and was concerned (i got in a fight) and wanted to make sure i was ok. it resulted in us talking for longer than i had expected. we agreed to meet next week. what should i do? Please help, this relationship has been the only good relationship i’ve been in. I am happy, we’ve never had a real fight only small disagreements that didn’t effect us at all, i’ve felt more confident and we have so much in common in addition both our families love each other. please help me. i need to know what to do. we’re meeting next week. i’ve restarted the NC but we’re meeting next week. please tell me what to do.
thank you.
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:29 pm
If you are restarting NC but meeting next week then that means you aren’t restarting NC entirely the way its meant…
Morgan
February 2, 2015 at 5:02 pm
what i mean is, i’m not talking to him regardless if he texts me or not until we meet next weekend. i’m not sure what i should do in terms of saving the relationship and meeting him next weekend. can you please help? i don’t know what to do. i realize that the nc is supposed to be for a month however we haven’t been able to meet in person to discuss this and this situation only came up in the last 5 days. I don’t know what to do. please help me.
Hunter
January 31, 2015 at 10:00 pm
Hey, Chris me and ex boyfriend have agreed to friends after our relationship, but I honestly don’t want to friends. I want to have a relationship again but we agreed to hang out of Valentine’s day what do I do?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 1:47 pm
Get out of it!
Kim
January 31, 2015 at 5:07 pm
Hi Chris
Would you ever recommend physically seeing an ex boyfriend as the first contact method after NC has expired? MY ex works near my own office and I drive past his shop on the way to and back from work every day. I was thinking one Friday close to him closing up I’d pop in and say “hi”?
Thanks
Kim
admin
February 2, 2015 at 1:45 pm
Only in very rare cases where that is the only way you could make first contact.
In your case I wouldn’t do that…
That might be too much.
Kitty
January 31, 2015 at 8:59 am
Dear Chris after I ignoring him he write very harsh msg to me and deleted me off his hp contact. So is this normal during nc period?
admin
January 31, 2015 at 4:03 pm
It can be for some guys.
Kitty
January 31, 2015 at 4:59 pm
So what shd I do now. Does nc still work or the break up is final already?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 1:44 pm
Have you completed your NC?
If not, then you have your answer π
Candy
January 31, 2015 at 2:39 am
Help Chris my name is Candy and my boyfriend amount of couple years broke we broke up over me lying to him we had been best friends ever since high school up until a couple years ago when we started dating and I’ve lied to him multiple times and said I would never do it again. I have stopped and realize that a mess that I messed up and want him back and I see a difference in myself in the changebetween me and my family and everyone around me. I miss him terribly he won’t answer the phone he won’t answer my texts he won’t answer my emails I’m in love with this man so much and realize that I’m going to be on the right track from here on out I need help on how to get him back he is the love of my life
admin
January 31, 2015 at 4:02 pm
WEll, emailing him might not be the way to go.
You might want to do NC and reengage through textss…
Vanessa
January 30, 2015 at 6:32 pm
Thank you so much for a really awesome article! I plan to follow every step.
During the NC period, if your ex tries talking to you in person, what should you do? On Day 8, he came up to me and said “[My Name], was that math yesterday homework?” (We go to the same school.) I answered him since he exclusively asked me. I didn’t make small talk with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he would try talking to me in person again before the 30 days is up. Since our break up a few weeks ago, we used to smile at each other or make faces at each other if we made eye contact (which seemed to happen a lot), but more recently, we have not been making eye contact. However, I have caught him looking at me and he’ll immediately look away. I would appreciate some advice on what to do!
admin
January 31, 2015 at 3:33 pm
Thanks Vanessa!
Semes like a good sign the looking/looking away.
You have the right idea with NC. Just go right into that.
Vanessa
February 1, 2015 at 3:50 am
Should I start the NC period over since he talked to me in person during it?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 1:53 pm
How are you handling his in person encounters?
Vanessa
February 2, 2015 at 2:50 pm
We really have only talked in person since the breakup that one time. All of our other encounters have simply been eye contact across the room. I wasn’t rude or anything like that when I answered him, but I didn’t make small talk either. So I guess I’d say I’m handling them alright.
Liz Henry
January 30, 2015 at 3:34 pm
Hi Chris,
My kind of boyfriend ended things yesterday. He is 20 and I’m 28. We spent a month together before we were long distance for 2 months. He never wanted to use the label but we werdisgracetanceLomg diatance didn’t go well. He was completely unavailable and felt I was too demanding.
We got back. His cousins were visiting and I was put completely on the back burner. So I got upset. we were bickering. Just not getting along. so yesterday he said he can’t deal w my flaws. He never seeasthis working. I’m too overly emotional. we’re too different. And he is too young to put in all the work I need.
I feel like it was a rash break up I didn’t even get a chance to work on my sidE. And we only saw each other for 3 days. Felt like we didn’t give it a real chance.
Is there even a point in me trying thia method? Or is it just hopeless and not worth trying.
Thanks!
Liz
admin
January 31, 2015 at 3:13 pm
Long distance is tough.
This method can work for long distance couples so I think it would be worth a try.
Anna
February 4, 2015 at 1:50 pm
Hi i did send him the first contact message, however he totally ignore what i send and replied asking about my new job?!! is that okay i relied ofc and ended the conversation
if you think this was successfully done, when do i have to send back
admin
February 5, 2015 at 2:58 pm
Yes, you did good.
You can contact him again in 1 to 2 days.
Kitty
January 29, 2015 at 11:28 pm
I manage to sms my ex bf a message to hint him that I know what he have done and he have betrayed me who end the relationship yet blame on me. So he asking me what is it and since when but I ignore and he got so angry keep texting me said I always Mia at wrong timing etc and he choose to believe I tink it’s all bullshit cos he have been super cold to me and very firm on the break up and wasn’t talking to me for 2 weeks all his msg is its over and short ok reply. Right now am I correct to ignore his msg and carry out the nc? But now hr seem angry cos I’m not replying the msg to explain what I have know π
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:29 pm
Wait, what did he do?
Did he cheat?
Kitty
January 30, 2015 at 4:47 pm
Ya he slept with a girl one yr ago and lied to me and i just realized they slept after our current break up and recently he been hanging out with a new gal for lunch. And chatting on the phone.
Kathryn
January 29, 2015 at 10:44 pm
My ex broke up with me out of the blue. We had only been dating 4.5 months, but we always had a good time. We never had any issues. We enjoyed hanging out and enjoyed some of the same things, but we both enjoyed time alone or with friends. We had a great physical relationship as well. He would call and text every morning and night because he wanted too. We both worked. I’m still confused. One weekend we are out having a great time with friends. Come Tuesday I notice he is a little distant but says he is fine and by Thursday the dreaded “we need to talk”. So when we talk he tells me “It’s not me, it is him”, and then “He just isn’t good with relationships”, and then he didn’t see it going anywhere. He had been single for a while like over a year and a half. I figured maybe it was a commitment thing, however I don’t know what to think or do. I asked him what I did if anything and he said nothing. I left it at that and haven’t had any contact with him since. It was a Thursday we broke up and that Monday I returned his clothes I had and just sent a friendly text letting him know I left it outside his house. Going on almost 2 weeks now and I turned my fb off so I had no contact in any way, shape or form. I deleted all pictures and messages. I was told by his friends gf who is a mutual friend he had thought about breaking up with me on that Tuesday. All he said to his friend was I was a “great girl” but just didn’t work or click. I don’t know exact words. I liked him a lot. What should I do? I’d like to give it a shot on getting back together but I would like to know your thoughts. Any recommendations or ideas? Thanks
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:23 pm
So, it really came out of nowhere?
ARe you in NC?
Kathryn
February 2, 2015 at 5:27 pm
Yes out of no where. That week up until Tuesday was completely normal and he still continued calling and texting me up until he broke it off. I found out from a friend of his this past weekend that, that is how he is normally. Apparently he is more of a thrill of the chase kinda guy. His friend told me if I ignore him then he will get interested again and that’s how he is. Said that I lasted the longest (whatever that means good or bad I don’t know). After I found that out I took him off of facebook as a friend. I have had no contact with him for 2 wks now. I don’t know if it matters but once we broke up, he went gambling suddenly,& bought a new truck.
kay
January 29, 2015 at 9:10 pm
My ex broke up with me this past December after over two years of dating exclusively. It came out of the blue; we were preparing for date night and he came to my house and just broke down. We messaged each other back and forth…where we felt wronged, Merry Christmas, no Happy New Years text, and trying to get our stuff back from each others homes. About a month and a half later of NC I messaged him to meet me at a coffee shop between our homes to exchange stuff and possibly talk. He texts me immediately back with an okay, I’ll see you then. The day before we would meet, he unfriends me on FB which bummed me out. The day of the meet he wouldn’t stop texting to me before we were supposed to meet up. I told him I’d see him later and left. When I saw him his eyes were red and puffy, indicating crying. We sat and talked for about an hour: where we went wrong as individuals, as a couple (basically, letting the past and others have a say in us), and he kept complimenting me on my looks. I asked where does that lead us and he says that I’d find happiness in my next relationship. Again, bummed. He says that he’s bee going out a lot, drinking. I ask why, he says it’s been hard to get over me so he deleted me off of FB. We walk around the block of the coffeehouse for another hour and he says he wants to hang with me but it would be hard because all he’d want to do was kiss me. I don’t say anything and keep walking. Then we make mention about he does believe in second chances, I say I do when things end on good notes because it shows that the person can grow and learn from their mistakes. As we round the corner and walk to my vehicle to get his belongings his face gets really sad. He says “f*** it”, grabs me and kisses me. Passionate. I can feel it in his arms wrapped around my waist, in his kiss. I accidentally nuzzle his neck and quickly apologize. He kisses me again. We stare at each other and decide it’s time to go. He text me immediately afterwards and says it was so nice to see me, that he sees a positive change in me, that we need to hang soon. In the recent days he’s texted me about how much he still thinks about the good times we had and our wacky ways with each other. It may sound like things are good but in the past 24 hours, no texts from him, I’m left more lost than before because his words didn’t equate to his actions, and slightly regretting that kiss because I know I want to start over with a clean slate. Anyone have any insight as to what is going on?
kay
January 29, 2015 at 9:15 pm
*let me clarify the ending: I’ve wanted to start over with a clean slate and leaving the past in the past long before the kiss.
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:15 pm
I think that is the smartest way to go forward.
kay
January 30, 2015 at 8:40 pm
Thank you for your reply. The texting resumed yesterday; he started it and it continued into this morning. I shall move on. I appreciate your insight.
nikki
January 29, 2015 at 2:18 pm
refer to precious comments
admin
January 30, 2015 at 3:23 pm
Ok!
nikki
January 29, 2015 at 2:04 pm
My ex broke up with me three days ago. He is Brazilian and I am American, he is 40 and I am 28. Our relationship has been great we have always been happy, have the same goals and very respectful of one another. We went to a lounge with his best friend and his girl friend a couple of nights ago and when a man cam and set next to me and started speaking Portuguese I kept telling him that I did not understand him. My ex got upset and told me not to turn my back on him to speak to another man, a lot of drinking had been involved. His best friend tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen and I kept trying to tell him I was not disrespecting him. His best friend and his girlfriend kept emphasizing that I am a good person and they still want to be my friend and that they knew I did nothing wrong. I texted him for two days apologizing for my reactions because I had been drinking as well but also letting him know that i care about him and that I do not want to argue but work things out. He ignored me for two days and then finally wrote me back and said he accepted my apology but we need to both live our lives, I asked him if he wanted to work on it he said no and told me he doesn’t care anymore. He refused to discuss this with me over the phone and when I asked him what was the problem he kept referring to the incident that night as if it happened the way he thought it did. All of his friends and family said we are the most positive couple and that we are great together and that our chemistry is so great which is true, everybody thinks we should marry. I am starting the no contact rule as I have read about but I am also confused because he has always been sweet, caring, compassionate a giver, etc. I am kind of confused as to what is going on and why he is still living in the frustration of the situation that did not occur. Am I doing the right thing by initiating No Contact? Do you think he just really needs time to calm down or something?
Kitty
January 29, 2015 at 10:33 am
Hi Chris I have something to ask ur advice. My bf break up with me and making the whole break up my fault and we have been on nc for 2 weeks but I just realised recently that actually he slept with someone. So shd i let him know that I know about it so that the whole situation will Not be against me. At least let him know I know that he is trying to push the blame to me but in fact I know the real reason. Will this make him guilty and let him know that I’m glad the reason I know and I have moved on. So that the situation reversed.