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Emma
June 16, 2013 at 1:16 am
I know this is probably long winded but I want to give as much info as I can. 2 weeks before breaking up we were shopping for engagement rings and merged our bank accounts together.
My bf and I seperated about a month ago an we went back and forth about how to fix it for a week. After a week he said he wanted to break up. It took him 2 more weeks to finally move his stuff out of the house. He text me several times over the last few weeks saying he hopes that Im ok, and asking for little things he forgot like his knife sharpener. We spoke once last week and it was a lighthearted conversation and then he got quiet and said he had to get off the phone and asked if we could have coffee sometime. Earlier this week we met for dinner and he brought up fun stories from our relationship. He said I looked happier than he has seen me in months and that he has been very lonely and has never felt a lonliness like this before. He talked about having dinner again soon and coming over to BBQ. Today I found out that he went home to see his family and brought a girl. Im confused about why he would ask me to dinner and say all those things over dinner and then bring a girl home to his family.
admin
June 16, 2013 at 2:13 am
Hi Emma,
First I want to thank you for your comment! I realize that you are in a really emotionally hurtful situation right now. Nothing is worse than loving someone so much and then hearing that he brought someone home that is not you. The only reason I can think of, of why he did this is because he is confused. He doesn’t know what he wants. He looks at you and remembers the good times but he also wants to try out other things, a common thing for men …. sigh.
Anyways, I think you would really benefit from cutting off communication via a no contact rule for 30 days and just focusing on the one thing that really matters… YOU! Go the the gym to get some physical exercise in, go shopping, get a haircut do some soul searching really take some time for yourself and then if you want to see him again make sure you do it on your terms and not his.
By agreeing to meet him, after you found out he brought someone home, basically means that you are enabling his behavior. He can’t have two things at once and you are going to have to be the one to show him that. That is my two cents. I really wish I had written an e-book that I could give to you but I haven’t. If you have any more questions feel free to ask!
Tracey
June 15, 2013 at 7:05 pm
What if you work with your ex? He broke it off about 3 weeks ago and he keeps coming up to me, talking and flirting with me. I’ve been nice but short and vague with him. I’m also trying the 30 day no contact by not calling or texting him at all. That is the only way I can limit my contact with him. He has texted me a couple of times but nothing much. Am I on the right track?
admin
June 16, 2013 at 2:08 am
Tracey,
Absolutely you are on the right track. Remember, you have to be pleasant, simple and short with your conversations with him at this point. Obviously, the ideal “no contact” period would be one where you don’t see him at all but in your case you really have no choice but to. You are on the right track for sure. If you have any more questions please feel free to comment and I will be happy to answer!
samantha
June 13, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Need some help. Very confused. Have a few questions if u wouldnt mind helping
admin
June 14, 2013 at 1:04 am
Ask away!
Ernest
April 30, 2013 at 11:45 pm
how can you do this over the phone if you never see
your ex anymore?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 7:08 am
Hi Ernest,
what do you mean? are you in long distance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 4:28 am
Hi Ernest,
what do you mean are you long distance?
admin
May 1, 2013 at 12:03 am
There are three phases to the method described on this page.
Phase 1- The No Contact Period, for 30 days you freeze out your ex.
Phase 2- The Texting Phase- Where you slowly but surely bring up the old feelings that made you and your ex a couple.
Phase 3- The Meet Up- Where you see your ex for the first time in person.
Obviously there is a lot more to it than that but those three phases are central! Hope that answers your question.
Elizabeth
June 12, 2013 at 10:22 pm
What if 30 days is too long? And I was the one who broke the relationship because of all the arguing and most of the arguing came from my jealousy and insecurity. I’ve hurt my boyfriend a lot according to him and I didn’t notice. Well he says he doesn’t believe in second chances and when we talk or hang out he says he gets anxiety again. We didnt talk for 3 days and we missed each other he says he wants us to get back but he says he ant because I have hurt him so much and he gets sad and afraid it won’t work out in the long run. What should I do? And he says I won’t change how I treated him but I really feel like I will.
admin
June 12, 2013 at 10:49 pm
Hi Elizabeth,
First off I just want to welcome you to my site I hope you find the information you are looking for here. As for your question: the 30 day no contact rule is actually one of the most effective tactics that you can employ. While I highly recommend it, it is certainly not set in stone. In your case I think you would benefit from doing it and letting him and you calm down a bit.
Elizabeth
June 18, 2013 at 3:05 am
Thank you so much for the advice I will see what happens after!:) Once again thanks.
Elizabeth
June 18, 2013 at 2:00 am
He hasn’t attempted to text me throughout this period.
admin
June 18, 2013 at 2:47 am
Hi Elizabeth,
Sorry for the late response. Well, most likely he will text you if you stay true to the no contact period. Of course, by the end of the no contact period when you do finally text him you, if you hit the right notes, you can become way more attractive than some girl he told was pretty on Facebook by playing on some basic human psychology.
Realistically, any tactic you employ doing this has no guarantee of 100% success. Human beings are impossible to predict. However, I can honestly say that the methods I talk about here have the best chances of raising your success. Actually, I was helping a woman who contacted me a few weeks ago and she just got back from a date with her ex yesterday using this exact method. NO JOKE!
Feel free to pick my brain if you have any more questions.
Elizabeth
June 17, 2013 at 9:36 pm
Thanks so much. Actually, I got my Facebook account back for a day and I happened to see a post from him to his friend which is girl and he was saying how nice and beautiful she was. And well my natural reaction was to be sad. I don’t know what to do because I’m still in this non contact rule and I’m afraid I might lose him to this girl.
admin
June 18, 2013 at 12:31 am
Hi Elizabeth,
I wouldn’t read too much into it. Most guys will post something about another girl being beautiful on Facebook and while there may be an initial attraction nothing usually comes from it. I have a question for you. Has he made any attempt to text you during your no contact period? In almost every case the guy eventually breaks down and texts.