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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Kaitlyn
November 21, 2013 at 12:36 am
So my boyfriend of almost 8 months broke up with me 2 days ago and I don’t know what to do. He said he was tired of all the fighting and tired of me getting mad and jealous for stupid reasons. I feel really guilty about everything. He still wants to be friends and we live in the same neighborhood. We’re both in high school and we go to the same school. We still walk together at school and to and from the bus like before and after school. And we just hungout today but there wasn’t much to do so he went home after about 30 minutes because he was bored. But these past two days I have barely been able to eat or sleep. I miss him like crazy. He was the only thing that could make me happy and he still is. But not in the same way he used to. I miss out relationship and everything we had. We planned on getting married after high school and all of this stuff. Now I just feel like my whole life is over. I don’t want to do the No Contact thing because I still need him in m life. I’ve been suffering from depression and an anxiety disorder and I don’t like being alone. I feel unwanted when people leave me. And a lot of the people I love have left me. So I need help. I want him back as my boyfriend so I can be truly happy again. Is there anything I can do other than the No Contact rule?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Well I want you to read the Ungettable Girl post b/c that is what you are going to be shooting for.
Kaitlyn
November 21, 2013 at 12:45 am
I realized I left out a couple of things. Another reason why he broke up with me is because he doesn’t love me as much as he used to. He broke up with me last thursday but changed his mind. He told me then that he wasn’t ready to lose me. But when he broke up with me 2 days ago he said he shouldn’t have cahnged his mind and that he only did it because he felt bad for me. And I pretty much begged for him to take me back and for him to give me another chance. I basically did all of the things you said someone shouldn’t do after a break up. I told him I couldn’t live without him and that he was my whole life and everything I ever wanted. I finally accepted the whole being friends thing but I still bug him about things. And I feel like I’m going to slowly drive him away. He said he felt trapped in our relationship for about a month. So what should I do???
Nutcracker
November 20, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Hey, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I love him so much and care about him. He is not so active in responding me sometimes so I texted him and asked if we are in serious relationship. I am not a native, I didn’t know serious relationship means somewhat like an engagement. I didn’t mean to push him. He had a talk with me saying he cannot guarantee a relationship like that and we are so different and let’s stop. My heart broke. We are together for only two weeks. I know his pressure these days. Can I get him back?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:34 pm
Go into NC immediately.
Nutcracker
November 21, 2013 at 10:12 pm
Yes, I decide to go to NC. We take same courses and can’t avoid meet each other. He talked to me this morning and I replied with words to point. Is it right?
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:23 pm
Yes don’t be rude or anything. Actually be really happy but kind of short with him.
Nutcracker
November 24, 2013 at 12:21 am
Thank you so much for your reply. He didn’t expect our relationship to last long and should be frightened when I asked him whether we are in serious relationship. Our initial purposes on this relationship are different and we come from different countries. Can he still come back and make adjustment on our relationship?
admin
November 24, 2013 at 7:17 pm
Sure he can but obviously there is no guarantee.
Arianna
November 20, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Hi Chris, 2 days ago my boyfriend and I broke up for 20 minutes because he told me he started to crush on other girls and he doesn’t want to hurt me. Minutes later he said he was so stupid for doing that and he still loves me. Yesterday, he broke up with me again. He said he didn’t want a girlfriend anymore and he wanted to focus on football for college. We have broken up about 3 times before, but we always got back together. The most we stayed apart was for a month and we got back together because I always texted him nice things and funny messages and cute pictures. We were such good friends as well and kept a conversation going in person for a long time. He began to miss me and everything we had so he wanted to get back together. But, this time I feel as if it’s done for good. We talked today for a little and then I texted him saying I’m sorry because we would’ve never broken up again if I never broke up with him before. He said it was okay and I said that it’s not, things would be different and he said it wouldn’t really and I said I know it would and then he said it doesn’t matter anymore and I said it matters to me, but I guess not to you. Then he wrote something and it really crushed me. “Cause it’s done with, I’m sorry, but I’m moving on. You can’t live in the past, move on better things will happen.” I just changed the subject, because I didn’t want to hear it anymore. We’ve been together for 2 years and I don’t want it to end now. His friend has a crush on me and texts me all the time, but I don’t mind because he’s a really good friend of mine as well. My other friend invited us all out on Friday and I really don’t know if I want to go. My ex will be there and he’s bringing his friends that I’ve grown to love and I’ll feel defeated if he’s happy without me. I don’t want it to be over. I read everything you wrote, but doing something else worked the first time, so I really don’t know what I should do.
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Tell me what you have tried so far? What tactics from this page have you employed?
Lydia
November 20, 2013 at 10:47 am
Hi Chris, its been 3 weeks since i broke up with my boyfriend who loved very much. His reasons where that he felt i was always angry at him and i did not show love towards him as much as he loved me. During the relationship he has this strike system which i hated and never took seriously and this time he felt like that was my 3rd strike so he broke up with me. Now after the break up, i ofcourse went a bit emotionally crazy, texting him non stop and trying to call him. He said he doesn’t love me any more and why i just can’t respect his decision and accept the break-up. Ofcourse its hard to cause i still love him. But just this past friday, I have forced myself to begin the no contact rule. So its been 5 days so far since I have started but do you think i’ve started it too late and the damage is already done?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm
No just stick with the NC rule. I know it is hard.
Victoria
November 20, 2013 at 9:50 am
My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me 2 days ago. It started over a stupid argument and completely escalated. He ended up saying that he is no longer committed to making the relationship work and it’s not what he wants anymore. I feel so stupid as I had no idea he was at breaking point, and obviously would have avoided a petty argument at all costs if this was going to be the outcome.
I have tried everything to change his mind, I’ve pleaded and practically begged him. I feel as though I have no dignity left. Yesterday – I decided that enough was enough, I was just making him more adamant that he didn’t want the relationship.
I am now trying to not contact him (I’ve removed him from Skype – which is how we contacted each other during work hours) and am trying to keep myself busy so I don’t call and text him.
I feel like this is a mistake. I want to be with him – which he knows.
I’m scared that your plan won’t work. I’m scared that I’ll get to day 30 and he’ll have completely written me off. He’s very strong emotionally. Do you have any advice?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Well, the plan isn’t guaranteed but if you find something better let me know b/c I did a lot of research and think this is the smartest way to approach things.
Elly
November 20, 2013 at 6:57 am
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend and I, we are on a break, he initiated it because we were fighting a lot recently. The break started 2 days ago and it’s for a period of one week and we will discuss the outcome after that. We haven’t talked for the past 2 days. We dated for about 9.5 months, had occasional fights but we were happy overall.
Can you pls advise me on what I should do during this period? And what are the chances of us getting back together again? Also, what should I do when we eventually talk/meet up to discuss about the outcome?
thanks.
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:53 pm
You are doing NC?
Elly
November 21, 2013 at 3:20 am
Done 3 days of NC. Should I do NC for 1 week or 30 days? and ignore him even though we were suppose to talk about it after ‘the break’, which is 1 week ?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Well it all depends on your grasp of the situation. What do you think is better?
1 week or 1 month?
Elly
November 20, 2013 at 7:44 am
I’m thinking of dropping his favourite drink off for him later, no contact at all. Can i? or Should I just leave him alone for now?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Just leave it for now.
Jaci
November 20, 2013 at 6:47 am
Hi Chris,
I really don’t know what to do anymore. I texted him after the NC (37days) and he replied back positively,I waited three days before I sent the ‘good times’ text and he never replied. I waited afew more days before going back ‘to first contact’ text, he didn’t reply. Again…
What should I do?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm
He isn’t ready to talk to you text… Go back into NC fo ra good long while.. or maybe there is a problem with your texts.
Jennifer
November 20, 2013 at 5:41 am
Chris, you were not lying when you said this would be tough. I’m the one with the “Live-in” situation. I don’t have too many friends where I can just go out and enjoy myself, so when I’m not working, majorily of the time I’m at home. And Like tonight, he comes home from work gets all dressed up, claims he’s going out with the guys and looks really happy…. And i’m happy that he is happy, just a little scared that it’s someone else making him happy. Trying to keep myself distracted, but I am truly having a hard time. I try my hardest to be all happy around him, but this is really REALLY tough. I could cry, Chris. It’s bad cause, he has no problem asking me to cook him a meal or help him out with something, but when it comes to going out and doing stuff like going to the movies, he gets all jumpy… tells me we are just friends.. stuff like that. We were together for 3 years…. hard to believe 3 years can just go down the drain like that. And he doesnt seem to hurt one bit. I want my man back.. this is really hard. When things are cordial, we laugh, watch shows together and then he’ll go out late hours with lame excuses like “i need to go to the ATM”. And if a girl calls him, he can see the hurt on my face, so he’ll try and be all nice and say things like “I cant wait for us to go on a cruise next year” and stuff like that…. it confuses the MESS out of me. lol I read your guide, Great points and advice! Trying to apply it to my Live-in ex boyfriend situation. These girls are lucky because they can actually give their ex boyfriends space and not see or talk to them for a while.. i HAVE to see this man daily and talk to him daily… and pretend like im okay with just being cordial or being treated like a roommate.
Can you please, if you don’t mind, break it down to me, and better explain what it means to “give him space” with my “live in” situation? If you don’t mind. Thanks again for your time! It is truly appreciated.
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:47 pm
Yes it is so tough. Probably 90% of people fail at it :(.
Well, he is expecting you to beg for him back by giving him some space he is going to wonder why you aren’t begging for him back. It kind of all ties into that push-pull method. Sorry I am strapped for time so I didn’t have a lot to explain it as best as I could.
Dana
November 20, 2013 at 5:39 am
Hi
Me and my bf broke up 4 weeks ago this is our 3rd break up he usually come by himself but this time it’s been 4 weeks
We had a nasty fight 2 days later I was angry so I texted him and had an argument so I insulted him
He didn’t pick up the phone when I call though I don’t call him much
On his birthday I tried calling him then sent him text telling I’m sorry that’s it he answerd with capture of what I said when I insulted him
Do you think he will contact me
Or it’s hard to get him back ?
Now it’s been 10 days since last contact
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:48 pm
I think if you play your cards right you can increase your chacnes of him texting.
Dana
November 20, 2013 at 6:32 pm
But do u think its possible that he wouldn’t hate. Me and call me
admin
November 21, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Yes I think its very possible.
Amy
November 20, 2013 at 4:00 am
What do you do if you have the same circle of friends and you go to the same college so its somewhat inevitable you end up seeing them during the no contact period?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Well don’t make things awkward just be kind and nice about the whole thing.
Gabrielle
November 20, 2013 at 3:11 am
Hi Chris,
I don’t usually do things like this but I’m feeling pretty desperate. I’ve read through your website and thought about it all day. I’m worried that if I continue this 30 day no contact thing that he will realize that he is fine without me while I’m pretty devastated over here. We’ve been dating for 3 years and i feel like not only have i lost my boyfriend but my best friend as well. During our previous fights i would always blow up his phone until he answered and it mostly worked but this time is different. I’m trying soo hard to not contact him because I know i only have one shot to make this right this time. I definitely think that if i better myself (loose weight) he will realize what he threw away I’m just not sure i can wait that long to be with him again but not like i have any choice because this break up was 100% him. I am so desperate but trying not to show it because i know thats what he wants to see so i think by me not calling and texting him it will make him wonder. I just wish i knew what he was feeling at this second – if he’s checking his phone waiting for a text or call (like i am) or if he’s happy and relieved we’re done. This guy is the love of my life and i cannot loose him. I just pray that its not like that quote “if you love something set it free if it loves you it will come back” because i don’t want to wait but of course I’m willing. I’ve gone from seeing him everyday and sleeping next to him every night for 3 years to nothing. do you have any suggestions? anything will help! thank you so much for you time
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:42 pm
Tell me what you have done from this page so far?
Gabrielle
December 24, 2013 at 5:13 am
how weird is it that we had gotten back together after i had wrote this and here i am again looking for advice. its only been a week and ive been so terrible with the no contact rule but as of tonight he has gotten all of his belongings out of my house and so now he really has no reason to talk to me. i think I’ve come to the conclusion that i have to let him go do what he needs to do and experience in life before me and him could get back together and do it right. i was his first and i know he’ll always wonder what it would be like with someone else and i wish more than anything there was a different way but i know i have to let him go be with other girls and party and do what he needs to do but it is truly torture to my soul. what should i be doing with myself while he is figuring himself out and i wait, because i will wait for him.
Katy
November 20, 2013 at 3:04 am
Hi,
My ex boyfriend and I were together for 3.5 years and broke up about 2 months ago. It was honestly the best time of my life. When we finally broke up he told me that he had been fighting with himself for over a month. His head and heart were fighting against each other and his head had made the final decision. He said “his feelings changed towards me” and he felt “lost”. It was a calm breakup and we talked sincerely to each other. I asked him if there was ever a chance to try again and he said quite possibly yes. He said I was so lovable that it was very possible he just needs to figure things out. He ended up having a thing with this girl for a week or so. Turned out she was a major slut (everyone knew and warned him) and he found out for himself. During that time however, I did NC for a month and realized so much about myself. From there I texted him and it was as if we were together and nothing had happened. He said how much he cared and respected me. I guess the girl made him realize how much we had. Then from there we talked on and off. It was honestly like we never broke up: flirting, heart to hearts etc. I found out within the last few weeks that he is afraid to see me because he doesn’t know what he would do if he saw me. He also doesn’t want to hurt me or be stupid. From there we had a 2 hour conversation on the phone. We talked just about random things that have been going on. A couple of days later I dropped off some things at his house. We made small talk and he hugged me so tight. It was as if we were still dating. Then when I left we texted each other saying how good one another looked. From there it was just flirting. I know he needs his space and I will give him some. I am doing the no contact rule again to see if it does anything. I know he still loves, cares, and respects me, but I know he’s really lost in what he wants to do with his career. We had the best relationship and we were so happy together, we just got too comfortable over the years. I have this really intense gut feeling that with time he and I could get back together. I don’t know how or why, but I feel this way. It’s not because of how much I love or miss him either. I just wanted to know if you had any specific advice for me. You’re method sounds great to me though. I’m going to give it a try.
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:41 pm
Definitely give it a try. It has worked for a lot of other women in very similar situations as you.
Katy
November 20, 2013 at 6:33 pm
I plan on it. And my no contact is up right before his birthday. He and I just fit together. We always talked about marriage and everything. Thank you again
Help confused
November 20, 2013 at 1:33 am
Hello. My boyfriend broke up with me two and a half weeks ago. First he said he needs his space. Then he said he’s not sexually attracted to me because I pushed him away. We have not been intimate for six months. Due to the fact that I had a sick sibling that passed away two months exactly to the day he broke up with me. We lived together for a year and two months but we’ve dates for five years. My lack of intimacy was due to depression. And I told him I would need time. He also said we were going to get married so I said let’s do things right before we’re intimate again and get married first. I know from a few people that he noight me a ring and then returned it three weeks ago. Now he says he’s not sexually attracted to me. And I’m like a sister. He loves me to death but he doesn’t want to be with me. He’s also depressed and he hates his job. He said if it wasn’t for his job we’d still be together. He said I let myself go. I said would try to work on it. He said its pointless. He said he has no sex drive and he’s not happy anymore. He said that he needs space and everything happens for a reason. And that if changes his mind hell be back before he knows it. But then he also said that I should date other people. He said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.I’ve tried telling him that my actions were not to be taken personally. I was dealing with my own grief . I told him that I am seeking help and that he should give me another chance because I’m am making changes to be a happier pleasant person inspire of my circumstances and the only way he would be able to see that is if he gives me another chance
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:38 pm
Have you read my chasing guide?
help confused
November 20, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Yes I’ve read the chasing guide. This may sound stupid by I don’t see where that would help my situation, maybe because i’m in a state of panic. maybe you can point it out to me.
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Lets start there. You need to get out of that panic state.
Panic = Desperation = Unattractive.
jessica
November 19, 2013 at 10:17 pm
my ex and I broke up about two months ago we got into a huge fight tried to work it out then all of a sudden he just cut all ties to me we got into a not huge huge fight and haven’t spoken since…..I have to see him everyday because we’re in school together BUT he’s “dating” some girl there now ive done the hate tweets sob tweets apologetic messages on fb EVERYTHING yet nothing I do is making progress I just feel as though he no longer caresaabout me although we were planning on getting married…..his birthday is next month and idk if I should even say anything to him…its like he hates me he’s acting ok while im sulking and haven’t even been able to think about another man can this be repaired or am I wasting my time ?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Well, have you done NC yet?
jessica
November 19, 2013 at 11:06 pm
I meant to say * another huge fight*
anon
November 19, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Hey, I’m in the 10th day of no contact and starting to wonder what my first message should be when the NC is finished. The first day I can contact him just so happens to land on his birthday, this gives me an excuse to text him, I was wondering would sending him a birthday message be a good idea as a first message or should I wait until the day after and text him something similar to the messages above? Thank you so much for your help
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Try one of the messages on here or in the E-Book.
anon
November 20, 2013 at 8:24 pm
So I definitely shouldn’t say happy birthday then? Surely he would think I was being a bit uncaring if I messaged him on his birthday without actually saying happy birthday? Do I wait until a couple of days after maybe?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:17 pm
No I wouldn’t if you are in NC.
anon
November 21, 2013 at 6:29 pm
That’s the point, we wouldn’t be in NC on his birthday it’s the first day I can contact him that just happens to be his birthday
admin
November 22, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Sorry misunderstood. I would wait a few days after his birthday.
anon
November 22, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Oky doky, will do, thank you for your help 🙂
Fanny
November 19, 2013 at 2:47 pm
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago. We had a big fight and be just turned off his phone for 2 days. We are living in different cities but not that far away so we would see each other every weekend. Our fight started because he had to leave during the weekend and it upset me. He also had to leave for work for a week two days after our fight. He just turned off his phone and wrote me a mail saying that he has been very veh stressed with the relationship since I kept asking him to come see me and that he doesn’t want this any more. He will be away for work for a week and will call me as soon as he feels he can talk to me. We’ve had those fights about him not being here on weekends for a while now but the weird thing is the last weeks he really try to be here on time and really wanted us to be happy. I also worked on my reactions and we were going through a good phase. Then one mistake in my behaviour (I was way too angry and there was nothing he could do about leaving for work) and he just shut me out.
I didn’t answer anything on his break up mail yet and I don’t know if I should suggest to meet and have a mature discussion on the problems we had or I shouldn’t answer anything at all (he might think I had a complete breakdown if I don’t answer at all, no?).
I also don’t know if there is any chance of getting bet together at all since he seemed very clear and decided. He never told me this bothered him so much before. And it seemed he always tried his best to keep the relationship going. I really don’t know what to do.
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Well, have you followed any of the advice on this page yet?
Fanny
November 20, 2013 at 8:21 am
Sure. I haven’t contacted him at all but i’m wondering if i should answer anything to bis breakup mail or not?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:53 pm
No it comes after NC.
Jessica
November 19, 2013 at 2:17 pm
Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up A month and some weeks ago! I tried d no contact and rule nd followed evri step religiously! Buh at d end of d 30 days, he started communicating wit me! Before I could even start communicating wit him! Now am lost, dunno hw to react and wat to say! He says he misses me tho! How do I go about it now pls?
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:27 pm
That is good! Try to get a date.
Ashley
November 19, 2013 at 6:28 am
I was wondering during the no contact period I went out for the evening with an old guy friend is it to early to even post a picture on Facebook of that, will he feel just angry or try to get back at me..or would it be the good jealously?? we have kids so we see eachother sometimes casually.. I already did my freak out but I want things to work…
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:10 pm
I think a little jealousy isn’t a bad idea ever now and again.
amanda
November 18, 2013 at 8:46 pm
please give me advice! I read everything on this site. and I’m going to try my best at the NC. me and my boyfriend have been dating for around seven months and I’ve known him for about a year.he broke up with me while he was drunk two days ago. I ignored it and spoke to him the next day when he was sober. he told me he didn’t want to be with me because I get to jealous and mad easily. we made a promise that we would only break up if we cheated or lied to eachother. a couple days ago he came back from saskatchewan and I found condoms in bag and one had been ripped off. its only been two days and already he is contacting me seeing what I’m doing and asking if ill be okay. he told me he just wants to be friends but by me
not replying made him angry. do I reply and risk him giving up or do I stay strong and follow the quide!?!?! desperate for an answer
admin
November 19, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Stay strong right now just use the exucse that you “needed time alone” later. If he can’t respect that then there is something seriously wrong with him.
Miranda
November 18, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Hi Chris
Okay so I am all lost…. Here is a little background info. My boyfriend and I dated about 2 years ago and he is younger then me and I think he got scared so we broke up. In that time he dated someone else, I loved him but was just happy that he was happy and I learnt to move on with life not expecting much. And then after about 7months he contacted me saying he made the biggest mistake of his life and he realized that I was the one for him. We have been dating for about a year and half now. And yes we have problems but for the most part we were happy. A few days ago he tells me he wants to break up coz he cant handle the relationship. I’ve decided to start the whole no contact thing about 2 days ago and I’m doing pretty okay I think. I’ve learnt a lot about myself in the last to days and I have figured out my mistakes. He still keeps in contact with my family. Do you think this relationship can be saved?
admin
November 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Are you going to to do a no contact rule?
Miranda
November 21, 2013 at 3:52 am
I tried it but only lasted 4 days, because I was worried about him so I ended up texting him. (his job is dangerous) And What if the no contact rule doesn’t work? he is pretty stubborn
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:05 pm
You are going to have to last a lot longer than 4 days if this is going to work.