Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Why Avoidants Say Things That Don’t Make Sense
The Weird Things Avoidants Do When They Like You
What Happens To An Avoidant During No Contact?
How A Secure Handles An Avoidant Pulling Away
The Moment An Avoidant Realizes They Lost You (THIS Will Happen)
Post categories
Andrea
November 28, 2013 at 7:01 am
So my ex and I have been thru the NC period, we have exchanged a few messages. Buh I am a bit confused, sometimes he acts interested sometimes he acts not interested. I dunno what to do or how to react when he acts interested or not. What’s your opinion pls?
admin
November 29, 2013 at 1:38 am
Did you go through the entire 30 days?
Andrea
December 2, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Yes Chris I went through the entire 30 days
Jess
November 28, 2013 at 4:39 am
Hi Chris,
I have one quick question. My ex and I have been through the NC period and have exchanged a few text messages (but not many, we have only had one real conversation). Anyway, last week he randomly texted me saying, “Have a good night”, around 11:30 PM. I responded by saying something like “Thanks, you too, good night”. I know I am overanalyzing this however I just would like to know what a guy would hope to achieve by sending that message to his ex at that time of night. What I am trying to figure out is if he expected me to text more back or if he was simply just thinking about me at that time or if he was trying to get in my head to make me think about him (if this is the case it has clearly worked, although I have not texted him since then). What is your opinion?
Levon
November 27, 2013 at 11:15 pm
Hi Chris,so ten days ago my bf of almost 3 years has broken up with me claiming that our personalities and lifestyles clash a lot and that we fight a lot. Yes I agree recently we have been having dumb arguements but I’m willing to work on that, but since we broke up we’ve been speaking and he says he still loves me and cares but he feels he doesn’t want us anymore. Is there honestly a chance for us to work things out if I followed your guide, I started my NC today
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:35 am
Good for you! I am happy you are starting NC!
Christina
November 27, 2013 at 5:58 pm
My fiancé and I have been dating for almost four years. Before our engagement, he seemed to get bored and would start texting another girl and become less involved in our relationship. After being caught there would always be a period of no contact but a short while. I would always be the one to contact him first. This time is different…I caught him texting the girl he was sneaking around with before our engagement. She is heavily tattooed and pierced. He is a straight laced military guy and I am a tall, blonde girl next door type. I know that I should just move on…but honestly I love him. I have a room full of his stuff I am storing for him. What do I do? So I impose the NC rule and in a month text him a pic of me going out?
tellula
November 27, 2013 at 4:06 pm
Hi,
I commented else where but I’m not sure it worked.
Just wanted to comment that your site is great.
I have a small problem though in that I have only just found it so have not completed the full 30 day NC. As I did not know about the correct period for NC (before I found the site), I contacted my ex on the evening of the 28th day.
I texted him about something I saw that reminded me of him. My texts were short & he responded with neutral comments. The only thing is I didn’t end the conversation first, he did. (As I didn’t realise I was supposed to at the time!)
What would your advice be? Should I go back into NC (as I didn’t quite complete the 30 days) or, instead, should I try texting him again in a week or two (with another ‘opening text’ and end the conversation first this time?
Thanks for your help:)
Tell
Megan
November 27, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Hi Chris, i really need your help. My boyfriend of two years just left me, and is blaming the past. Over a year ago i wasn’t there for him when he needed me, he was depressed and i made mistakes like choose my friends over him. We were very young, and i was always told for ditch your friends for a boy, and i didn’t, and it took me longer to step upto the plate and prove to him that i loved him. I proved that i had changed and showed him he was all i wanted, and since we have been happy, although it was never quite the same. I started to get jealous really easily and slightly controlling as i came so close to losing him before that i couldn’t face him again. I made a lot of silly mistakes but i do blame it on being young and also being my first serious relationship. Now he is telling me he should have left months ago and that i didn’t deserve his love and that he will never forgive me for not being there when he needed me. He told me that we will never be together again and he has no feelings for me, and it’s only now he realised that he was stupid to have stayed with me. But i did prove i changed and we did have happy times, he’s sort of seeing another girl and it’s only Ben three weeks. Two days ago he told me “as much as i hate your guts i do miss you and maybe when you grow up we can talk about something” but then changes his mind again and says he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I truly am sorry for my mistakes but id proved myself since then. Is there any hope for us?
admin
November 27, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Sure there is but it is going to take some time I hope you realize that.
carol
November 27, 2013 at 8:59 am
hi chris i broke up with my bf of four years 2mnths ago..i have tried talkin to him bt he says he doesnt love me anymore it was all my fault bt i am trying my best to work it out am channged nw n i need him back pls hw do i go abt it
Heidi
November 27, 2013 at 8:28 am
Hey, so my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. He broke up with me but said he had absolutely no reason, and then later simply said we were looking for different things….which we both know is complete BS, Anyways, we always have had a great friendship and my NC period was just 3days and right now we have “dates” planned I don’t think he considers them dates but I sort of do…do I simply continue doing what you said in the “meet up” section? he says he likes me and talking to me and even though i see he does…i dont understand the break up, and I still have feelings for him.
admin
November 27, 2013 at 8:29 pm
Have you seen my what to do on a date post yet?
Maria
November 27, 2013 at 4:31 am
Hi Chris,
Nate & I has been together for 2yrs and we were engage. He broke up with me 6 days ago and had his mother and brother back him up with his decision. I was blindsided, I didn’t know the break up was coming. We were arguing about something and we never cleared up the air to better understand each other. We been arguing about something thats little issue to my fiancee but very important to me. My fiancee didnt stood by my side but he listens to everything what his mother says to him. At one point his mother claim she really like me until she got involve to my fiancee and I’s problem. Anyhow, he deleted our pictures together off facebook and had deleted me as his friends on fb. Should I delete the pictures I had with him? We didnt have a good talk when he broke up with me, his mother seems to have a good control on his son. Im trying to win him back so I get the answers I need or whether I should move on. I am friends with his friends and his brother on fb. My friends and my brother is friends with him on fb. I did try to call him the next day he broke up with me but it didn’t go too well, he said he’d call me back to talk some more since he has to work but he never called me back. I never called him again after that and I’m so glad I found your site. You really help a lot of people. I’m doing the No Calling Rule for 30days. Pls let me know about whether I should also take down his pictures off my profile on fb.
Thank You so much for your advices and taking the time to help everybody on here.
Maria
admin
November 27, 2013 at 8:01 pm
Most of the ones but leave a few up.
Have you read my FAcebook guide?
helplessly confused
November 27, 2013 at 2:53 am
Hi!
Me and my ex were dating for over a year. We had a good relationship. We loved each other a lot and always talked about our future. We did get in arguments a lot but it was over dumb stuff and we were both just overreacting. It was both of our longest relationship (mine was 2 months previously and his was 2 weeks) 8 months ago he broke up with me. We were in a small argument. He said he was tired of the arguing. I tried desperately to change his mind. I even tried asking if we could try in a few months. He was being very rude about it and said that our relationship meant nothing and that webwere never getting back together. After that he was so mean. He called me every name in the book. He called me a slut for being friends with one of my other exes and so much more. Eventully I dated another guy an recently broke up with him because I didn’t feel strongly for him and missed my ex. While i was dating him my ex got a new girlfriend which Is one of my aquaintances. I really want him back. Were on goodish terms becase about a week ago I texted him to ask a Question about a necklace he bought me and it led to a four hour conversation of laughing and talking about old memories. We haven’t talked since then. But I still want him back more than anything. And I don’t know what to do
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Have you been in NC?
helplessly confused
November 27, 2013 at 9:39 pm
After we broke up and all the namecalling passed, we didn’t have contact for a good 4 months
Eva
November 26, 2013 at 11:20 pm
Hi so i’ve posted here before. I’ve done the no contant rule for a month but im kind of worried because when we broke up he was very persistent on us being friends. When i stopped talking to him, started the nc rule he told me hed wait for me to be ready but he still constantly tried starting convos with me in the first 2 weeks but then it lessened in the last two weeks. So what should my next move be? I’m worried that if i contact him now he might think its just because im ready to be friends :/ help please?
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Well what are you going to text him? Run a few texts by me.
Eva
November 27, 2013 at 11:26 pm
Well there was this TV show we watched together that we never finished watching, during our ‘friends’ period he told me to finish watching because i’d really like it. So i was going to say i finally finished watching that show we use to watch together, you were right I really did like it.
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:36 am
What was the TV show (I love TV shows!)
I think thatll work!
Eva
November 30, 2013 at 8:35 am
Haha the Tv show was New Girl but i think i hit a bump :/ so i sent him the message and he was very responsive, we talked for a while about the show and other things and then he was like “so can we talk now? Cause i’d really like that” which seems to me like he still sees me as a friend :/ then i said i have to head out right now see ya, which was true i did have to leave and he said we should talk more when you can. Is this a good sign or a bad sign?
admin
November 30, 2013 at 7:12 pm
I think its more neutral to be honest.
Eva
November 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm
I see so what should i so now? Should i wait a few days before i talk to him again?
admin
December 1, 2013 at 6:24 pm
At this point I do think that, that is the smartest approach.
holidaygirl
November 26, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Hi Chris
Need help
Wondering what to make of this.
Have sent 2 atb both with pretty positive responses but no text when I end the conversation.
1st took a day to reply, figured he was busy or in shock and didn’t know how to reply. I ended the conversation when I replied 2 days later, no text from him.
2nd, I had text late, he text back a little quicker the following afternoon,(yesterday) even got a soz(sorry) out of him cause for some reason the text had got deleted, i text 2 Hours later, he was 10 mins, replied 1 and half hours later, he was 30 mins. I waited till this afternoon to text, ended the conversation, no text again.
Both times I have ended the conversation I have left something that he could text back about, but made out I was going to be busy.
Am I doing something wrong?
Was I wrong in saying I was going for food with a friend when ending the first conversation?
I also know that I may be worrying to much on ending the conversation instead of trusting that if I send another text he might reply, he’s not doing it when I am.
Am I ending the conversation wrong?
Or am I over thinking things lol?
When we were together he had most of the control in the relationship, and ended almost all of our conversations.
Any ideas on what I could say, what type of text I could send to spark a longer conversation, get him a little more interested?
Have already used somewhere we have been and a show we used to watch.
Please help
Thanks
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Well you need to get that control back hahaha.
holidaygirl
November 27, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Any suggestions and what do you think of the way the texts have gone?
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:09 am
Texts could be a little bit better. You might want to give me some more examples so I can go off of them.
Megan
November 26, 2013 at 3:55 pm
Hi chris. My boyfriend and i broke up almost 3 months ago and we were only together for 5 months. I started nc 3 weeks ago and since then i haven’t heard a word from him. I got my hair cut and streaked, and i have been trying to preoccupie my time. I never had a problem with the physical attraction but since we were together such a short time does that lessen my chance? Since we don’t have that kind of bond
Sophia
November 26, 2013 at 2:30 am
I want to scream!!!! So I deleted my ex’s number so I won’t feel tempted to call or text him duribg mt no conact period (two wweks now)… however my mom (the reason we broke up) answered his phone call and told him I was busy n will call him back. Advice? Should I continue my nc period?
admin
November 26, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Yes don’t call him back… Just keep doing NC. And tell your mom (very nicely) that you are doing a NC.
Blanca
November 26, 2013 at 2:22 am
Hi! what if we saw each other accidentally within the no contact rule? or there’s unavoidable events that he’s also there?
thank you! 🙂
admin
November 26, 2013 at 7:45 pm
You look good, act happy, be nice but control the conversation as best you can.
Alycia
November 26, 2013 at 1:27 am
Hey Chris,
So Im normally a private person and don’t normally share my relationship out in the open like this but had a couple questions.
Three months ago I broke up with my ex fiancee of 2 1/2 years because of his obsession with online gaming. We had gotten a house together that I completely furnish for the most part, and currently I am living with a family member while we work on ourselves. A month ago he started talking to another girl, while also trying to hook up with me, which you stated I shouldn’t do because I immediately become friends with benefits. So my questions are is my situation promising in getting him back? and if I were to do no contact how exactly do you go about that if you work in the same building, see each other regularly at work, and your job requires the staff to all communicate with one another?
admin
November 26, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Yes you definitely have a shot but obviously there are no guarantees as you know.
You may have to do LC though..
Alycia
November 26, 2013 at 10:26 pm
I’m assuming LC is limited contact?
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:26 pm
You assume right haha.
Alycia
December 5, 2013 at 4:06 am
Hey Chris, had a few questions about limited contact in the work place.I have been doing no contact for a little over a week and a half now and I must say its actually very humorous (I know that probably sounds bad but it is lol.) After a week of not texting him at all, he texted me saying he hasn’t heard from me, that he thought he saw me working out after work (which he clearly did and knew it was me lol) and then proceeded to ask how my weekend was. Its easy to do no contact on the phone by not answering, but how should I approach the situation at work? Especially if he comes up and tries to have a conversation with me, listens in on my conversations during lunch breaks, or tries to get in on conversations that I’m having with other coworkers? Kinda clueless on the limited contact aspect of it all. I know in one of your articles you talked about it briefly concerning people who have kids together, but didn’t know about common work places. (mind you he is still talking to another girl and doing things with her…)
admin
December 5, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Well, I actually have something coming out regarding the other girls.. this week if you are interested in that.
Alycia
December 6, 2013 at 12:52 am
Sounds good to me 🙂
Alycia
November 27, 2013 at 4:59 am
Also, can it be beneficial to work in the same place since he has to see me everyday? or could it make matters worse? Because honestly right now he acts very squirmish around me like he doesn’t know what to do with himself especially with other people around. But the minute its just us he’s complimenting me and being flirtatious but if I initiate he is stand-offish and talking about the other girl he’s dating.
marri
November 25, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Hey chris ,
My ex and I had a two years relation then he insisted on being only friends but kept treating each other in a special way as if he was lying to himself , this lasted another two years then i broke up with him because i felt am stuck with him while he can leave at anytime as we are just friends.
Its been a year with no communication , and i do want him back as i never stopped loving him , i already sent him a fb msg and started a conversation and he was cold and brief and told me he feels nothing about this as i mean nothing to him anymore ,i feel i made mistakes in our first contact , what should I do ?
admin
November 26, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Have you started your NC period before?
Jen
November 25, 2013 at 6:02 am
Hi Chris,
My bf and I were together for more than 1 year. We lived together and until last august, I had to return to the States to finish off my last semester at school. Everything was fine up until today and I even bought a ticket to go see him.
I had a weird dream a few days ago of him breaking up with me and that just got me worked up. I didn’t want to care about it but it did affect me somehow. I carried on and tried my best to be very normal. Originally I will be arrive where he is on a Sunday but I changed the date to Monday without telling him first. So yesterday we were on the phone and I told him about the actual date and he said he doesn’t know if he could come to the airport since it’s monday and he has work. I got upset and then he also got upset. I’ve always complimented him and let him know how much I appreciated of having him around me. But i was very emotional at that moment and for the first time I said that he’s a very bad person. Before he hung up I asked him to call me again when he’s done eating lunch and he said he would. Because of the time zone difference, I felt asleep and woke up in the morning realizing that he didn’t call me as promised. So I called him and he ignored me. I got impatient and bombarded him with more calls. Well I gave up because I knew he doesn’t like it and waited until he wakes up. He did woke up but didn’t call me so I took the initiative. Still no answer. So i left him a text and asked him to please pick up and talk over since he promised to call me.
Then I got a text from him saying that he wants to end this relationship and he’s tired of my obsessive behavior. He wished me luck in grad school and that I’m very pretty so I can find a better man and because he’s a selfish and bad person, i’m better off without him. So now I realized that the rule to never say that your guy is a bad person does hold. We seriously got into even worse fight. He also said that he will block me on fb and such and ask me to send him my bank account so that he will pay my flight cancellation and such.
I’m very heart broken. I find myself crying but not bawling out. However, I can feel my heart aching. Should I still fly over? It’s so unfair that i can’t meet him in person and few days ago we were the happiest couple. I want to try the NC rules when I fly over there and maybe have a chance to meet up again where he is.
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Have you read my LDR guide yet?
Jenn
November 25, 2013 at 4:39 am
Chris,
I was with my ex for 4 years before the recent break up 3 weeks ago. When we first started dating, we broke up and a few months later got back together
Fast forward 3 years….
Things were great, I moved in and we had a life together.
The past few months he resorted back to his old ways (the reason y we broke up originally). He gets bored with me and I catch him texting/talking to other women. When I question him then he says I’m nagging him.
To make a long story short, he broke up with me and I had to move out.
What’s my chances of getting him back a second time??
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:02 pm
As good as anyone elses. Have you been doing NC?
Heidi
November 24, 2013 at 11:15 pm
Hi there
My boyfriend and I broke up and lived tigether. I have mived out but think some things might still be at the old place. Nothing I really beed. If he fontacts me about that could I break the no contact?
admin
November 25, 2013 at 7:35 pm
No I wouldn’t..