The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

cassie

December 5, 2013 at 9:49 am

Hi Chris, im with my ex boyfriend for more than 4 years, however this year seems like not a good year for us , we used to fight most of the time and he lie to me ,he went for vacation local for 1 month thats i dont know and he said he’s doing some training which is not true. i started to feel so much jealous thinking so much bad things and we started to argue again and he still saying no third party,, till last week he broke up with me b/c he said i involve so much people,he said all bad things and bad memories of us. he told me after a week if i will leave he will follow me whevere i go. he said just give him time.i,he said we still be friends or bestfriend and i feel so hurt about broke up. what will i do?do i have to beleive him and hope that we can still be together?thanks.
nr

December 5, 2013 at 5:48 am

Would liking something on facebook be considered contact

admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:53 pm

I would yes..
nr

December 7, 2013 at 3:53 am

So I am on day 22 of no contact and once a week for the past month he has liked something on my Facebook… Is this away of reaching out cuz other then that he hasn’t texted me or called me I just need a guys perspective on this…thank you for help I am just getting worried that I am friend zoned
admin

December 7, 2013 at 8:01 pm

It may be… a way to test you to see where you are at.
nr

December 8, 2013 at 5:14 pm

Can you explain? I don’t get how its a test? Cuz we have been broken up for 3 months and dated for 2,1/2 years and I now I am almost done with no contact I have 7 days left…I just don’t want to be friend zoned like in said before….and I am really nervous about contacting after the nc is up

trina

December 5, 2013 at 5:38 am

Since this break up I’ve been devastated. Even if this doesn’t work, it’s nice to have someone who listens…or read 🙂

admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:55 pm

Just keep progressing and trying your best. Do that and you can go to sleep proud!

trina

December 5, 2013 at 5:08 am

I do appreciate you responding every day

admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Your welcome.

Jen

December 4, 2013 at 11:33 pm

Hey Chris. So my ex bf and I broke up back in mid June. We were on and off talking a couple weeks after our breakup then of course got into a big fight stopped talking again. A month later he reached out and wanted to meet up, we had a couple days of pure bliss, it seemed like we were on our way back to getting together.. Till he found out that I rebounded a week before we had these two days of bliss. Although he had asked if I had seen or slept with another man since being broken up with each other I said no because I didn’t think it was any of his business since we were no longer together. Long story short he found out the day after our two day hangout and he never confronted me, just cut off all communication for good. Needless to say we haven’t talked once or seen each other at all since July 25th. I decided to go with the whole no talking for one month thing because I thought he’d eventually cave and talk to me again. But then months started to pass and..nothing. Of course I’ve slipped probably lets say one text a month since being broken up but he hasn’t replied to ANY, and I know my number hasn’t been blocked or anything. So it’s been now 4 months of no sort of communication or run in and the last text I sent him was almost 2 months ago.. I know I must really love this man because there hasn’t been one day in this almost 6 months of breakup that he hasn’t crossed my mind. I still love him so much. Another obstacle is he will be leaving for navy bootcamp in feb. I’ve heard from mutual friends. I want to get into contact with him before that happens to see if ill be able to save what we had. What’s the first step or step process you would recommend me? Help is much needed.

Jen

December 5, 2013 at 3:21 am

I don’t know if a response was given or not but if It was I can’t see it! Any advice for the situation ?
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:40 pm

Sorry I can’t find the orignal question 🙁

mary

December 4, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Hey! We dated for five months, but he broke up almost a month ago and neither of us have contacted the other. He really wanted us to be friends afterwards, but I’m not sure if it’s too soon to contact him again? I want us to be on better terms before the holidays, and I’m not sure if we’d be moving too fast if we did that.

Also, is it ever a good idea to skip the “good times” texts (which I don’t think he’d fall for) and go straight to asking to do something casual?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:32 am

Every situation is unique in it’s own way but I do like the good terms texts b/c you can test to see where he is at.

Alison

December 4, 2013 at 7:04 pm

My ex dumped me because he thinks i do not trust him, which is fair because i didn’t 100%. Yesterday I broke the thirty day no contact rule with my ex. He told me we shouldn’t talk because his friends don’t think its a good idea, and that we will not move on from each other. Do you think I have a chance of re-kindling the relationship?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:26 am

He must have trust issues himself huh? And yes you have a good chance. I even wrote a guide on getting him to trust you again.

Anonymous

December 4, 2013 at 6:57 am

Me and my boyfriend were dating for a year.. At the end we started fighting a lot it could of been because I was always telling him to get a new job and to enroll in college .. Also I was extremely jelous which really bothered him. He said that he felt like I always wanted to fight with him but I really didn’t I just didn’t like getting treated badly. We had bad communication. I was always such a loving girlfriend and around me
He was always in a bad mood and never happy .. We got into a big fight and both decided to break up .. I was in denial so continued texting him and even asked to get back together .. He said no .. A week later we met up and talked and kissed so I thought we would get together but the next day I acted as if we were together again and was texting him and questioning him he got so upset he said he was done but gave me the lead on that he does want to be with me in the future. I was good and didn’t text him for two weeks but in that time I made out with a guy . After two weeks we had worked together (I occasionally work and where he works) I went up to him after and we talked and kissed and said we wanted to make it work .. After being extremely devistated I was now so happy but days later he found out I hookedup with someone but I somehow convinced him to atleast hang out with me so we hung out and I thought things were going amazing we hung out every weekend for 4 weeks.. Then I saw a video of him on Facebook of him dancing with a girl at a rave. Naturally I got upset so I told him and he got upset for me saying something so he told me we can’t be together and the last month we have been hanging out hasn’t been the same and he hasn’t been happy. He said we were both immature and needed to grow up. This broke my heart completely and I felt destroyed that he led me
On like that. I texted him and was asking him to please just talk to me because of how upset I am and he did and he told me he still wants me but when were older and have matured. I think it’s bullshit though ..
And I can’t not text him because his grandpa is dying in the hospital and I’ll look like a doichebag if I don’t text him to see if his grandfather is still alive .. And do I go to the funeral? I’m just extremely confused I need help

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:09 am

You can text him I guess b/c your circumstances are really unique. Not sure about the funeral though..
Anonymous

December 5, 2013 at 2:04 am

But from him telling me we can’t be together and were not gonna work out because were both immature.. To then him telling me he does wanna be with me but when were older and matured do you think he’s just saying that to make me feel better ? Do I still have a chance on getting him back now rather than the far future when it will probably be too late
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Of course you do but that doesn’t mean that it will be easy.

Hannah

December 4, 2013 at 5:49 am

I was dating this guy for maybe a few weeks or a month and today he came to my locker and said “I’m sorry but I’m always with my friends and you’re aleays with yours and we never talk.” I tryed telling him I’m shy around other people. He wouldn’t listen. I’m POSITIVE i want him back. Idecided to invite him to practice in the band hall with me… he didn’t say no or yes…. I’m really nervous and scared.

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:09 am

Have you done a no contact yet?

Lr

December 4, 2013 at 5:00 am

Hi!
My ex and i had a good talk about our relationship until he opened a sensitive topic. During our past relationship we always end up in an arguement whenever that topic comes up. It was because we have different opinion about it.

I have already done the NC and this relationship talk i’m talking about is a kind of decision phase for us. Our talk ended not that good but not also that bad and we decided to have more time for decision making.

I’m just worried that we had a bit of a blast from the past arguement. He also said that he is half on yes and half in no about our relationship. Is that a good sign?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:04 am

Well, its better than most situations but its still not “good” if he is half out. You know?
Lr

December 5, 2013 at 4:49 am

He told me he doesn’t know why he is so affected with even the tiniest mistakes that i did or will do. What does that mean?
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:47 pm

It means you drive him crazy and thats not a bad thing.
Lr

December 7, 2013 at 4:58 am

I thought i irritate him much. He also told me that we have so much history and we have this connection that he can’t explain. He’s saying that but he is on half with getting back together. Dors he want me to chase him?
admin

December 7, 2013 at 8:05 pm

No, ideally you want HIM to chase you.
Lr

December 9, 2013 at 1:34 pm

These passed few days we were talking about us and about how to deal with our problems about our passed relationship through phone calls or text messages only. Is that ok? Or I should subtly suggest a date?
admin

December 9, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Subtly suggest a date if you feel he is ready to say yes.

amanda

December 4, 2013 at 4:42 am

hey chris, I dated a guy for 4 months. it ended. i did the one month no contact rule. he made efforts a couple of times when we ran into each other. ex: ” hey hows your new apartment? i want to come by and see it this week” but then he never followed up. i know he is interested in me because when ever i see him out he is so drawn to me and he likes my instagram pictures and having scrolled threw my texts we both text each other random texts that don’t get anywhere once a week. ex from him: ” Amanda are you still awake? yeah hey whats up? Just got home sadly HBU? I told him i was taking my dog on a walk and then we just talked about my dog briefly ha. so a week ago i decided to send him a picture of a tattoo i found that reminded me of him. I got a neutral response. basically I don’t want to play games and we have both sent stupid texts that haven’t gotten us anywhere. my question is, is it too late to follow your path of getting him back or have the already sent texts made it too late?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:04 am

No its not too late.

Tenley

December 4, 2013 at 3:13 am

Hi Chris- I’ve been reading your blog and it’s been so helpful through this process, so thank you for that. I’m wondering, should I still go through with these texts and a meet up (if he agrees to it), if he is in a relationship?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:02 am

Well, I think itll be ok but a boundry has to be set. You shouldn’t cheat or anything like that but you can do it to kind of show him what he is missing.

kessy

December 3, 2013 at 5:26 pm

Hey chris,it now a week I sent him the text and he has not replied and he has not deleted me off whatsapp,as I read from your guide you said send a harmless text what text would you suggest would make him reply?
kate

December 3, 2013 at 3:42 pm

ive been dating this guy for a very long time. he broke up with me bcuz I got jelouse of him flirting with other girls, so this caused a lot of fighting. he said he was breaking up with me, for me. I did the nc and he comes up to me. I keep it short and then he asks me to text him but I couldn’t bcuz I lost my phone. So he says he needs to talk to me at lunch. the next day he doesn’t. I was talking to this other guy and my ex got so jelouse. I feel so mean! but yet it feels like he treats me like dirt. what does this mean?

admin

December 3, 2013 at 8:11 pm

Well, it means he has feelings for you haha.

Anna

December 3, 2013 at 2:44 am

Hi.
Bare with me while I give you some background information. Last week the guy that I’ve been seeing “casually” since April ended things with me. However the situation is VERY complicated.
To be honest it had to end it had been a long time coming. I know this. But I want him back. I want him back because when things were good they were great. I just want to get back to that place.
I’ve always been a relationship phoebe until I met Dan. It was just right.
We met in November last year and hit it off right away. we became good friends always messaging each other having our own private conversations. We started off as that…good friends. There was always something there but I was wary about acting on it. I knew he had ended a 5 year relationship so I was very wary. He kissed other girls etc but there was always that spark between us and we grew closer and closer.
Then April the following year we started seeing each other. We both knew it had to happen. It was great.
In July I knew something was up he became distant but I let him be not nagging he’s the sort that likes to quietly work things out himself.
Until we were out and drinking and he said he didn’t want a serious relationship. This although I liked not labelling what we were and felt secure enough that we didn’t need to have this conversation was a shock. We talked things over the next day sober. He explained that things ending badly with his ex and that he didn’t know when he would want a relationship but he still wanted to see me and had no interest in seeing anyone else.
I need to add because yes I’m cautious we had not slept with each other. I’ve only been with one other person which I explained to him and he said no he was completely fine with an it didn’t bother him.
Things were fine again for a while but then again he would become distant. I would point it out and he’d say I’ve just a lot on at the moment and everything would be fine.
This cycle continued until the periods he would be distant would get longer and worse. I felt like a broken record and things became very strained.
His explanation everytime was that it was nothing to do with me and that it was all in his head and that he realised that he needed to get a grip. I would point it out and joke about it but then the way he was being started really affecting me.
I would message with no reply so I would message asking why he was ignoring me. I would message incessantly out of frustration until I would get a reply.
I would ask him outright if he was bored of me and to tell him to just say if he wanted this to be over. He would say no and that he was sorry. I would be understanding for a while but there would be no improvement. Our conversations became all about what we were it was no longer fun.
We work together and we hadn’t seen each other outside work at this stage for just over a month. Things were worse than ever.
So I typed a ridiculously long message detailing everything and wanting answers. I didn’t want an answer right away and said that I needed space. A month passed and I asked him what his response was. He was really glad I told him all that stuff and we started meeting up again. Dinner, concert and cinema. I never expected things to be back to normal right away and expected it to feel a bit awkward.
However I was taken aback when on all occasions he never kissed me goodbye? I was very wary but with just starting over again I didn’t want to go back into that routine.
My suspicions were confirmed on a night out with friends which he didn’t know. I look across the bar and he was with another girl. Exactly like he use to be with me. Holding hands the works.
I stopped myself from going up to him and causing a scene and posted a status on FB that I couldn’t wait for our cinema date on Friday. As I expected no reply because he was becoming distant again at this stage. His ex of 5years contacted me telling me he had slept with her once the during the period we hadn’t seen each other outside work for over a month.
I couldn’t sleep with him when he was being so hot and cold out of respect for myself. I asked if that was what was missing for him because I understand men unlike women need sex more to get that connection. He said that he liked the fact that we didn’t need sex and that not having sex was never an issue. I’m still not convinced to be honest. He said if that were the case that he wouldn’t have stuck around for nearly 8 months. He still went elsewhere though when things were strained.
I have been hurt so badly as a result. He tried falling back on the excuse that we weren’t in a full relationship etc. He knew he was wrong and said he should have needed things sooner before that. I wish we had too because all the bad which has happened is whats fresh at the moment.
I know people say that it’s the nice ones that always hurt you but although he has been beyond an asshole. I know he hates himself at the minute
His excuse was that I got too close. He said he will not be in a relationship for a long time. Yet, he’s seeing this other girl I caught him with on my night out. They haven’t gone on dates or anything but they have hooked up a few times and are messaging.
I asked how can he say that he had to end things with me because he can’t get close with anyone and doesn’t want a relationship but start seeing her like he did me back in April.
His response that’s he changed. That he now knows not to let anyone get as close as we did. What??? As of I was a mistake that he learned from? He said that I wasn’t a rebound and that I truly meant something to him.
It’s just a big mess. I’m off work for 3 weeks which has been a blessing so I won’t see him. So there is zero contact at the moment.
I can honestly say that I do not want him back right now. I would be a mug if I did. It’s so hard though knowing that he is with someone else at the moment and has moved on so quickly.
I know that he pushed me away and sabotaged things because we worked. He knows it. He said that he didnt want a relationship because he was afraid that he would end up neglecting me with all the stuff he has on. But has started something new with another girl which I get because it’s new and without strain thats now in our relationship at the moment.
I’ve never had someone make me happy like that before.
I just want to know do you think we can ever come back from this in the future. If I can get him back from this new girl or is he a lost cause?

Sorry I just kept typing but this has actually helped me getting everything out.

Thanks Anna

admin

December 3, 2013 at 7:45 pm

I think you have a shot BUT its not going to be easy.

Emily

December 2, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Hey Chris,
Thanks for your candid advice. I was wondering how many days have to pass between first contact text, remembering the good times text…etc.

Also, you mentioned that the 1st rebound relationship is usually a bust, but how about if it’s the first rebound relationship after he has casually dated other girls and we have been broken up after 2 years? I question whether or not this is still considered a “rebound” at this point.

Thanks you!

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Ideally you want to let the timeframe get closer and closer. Slowly work your way back to texting every day.
Emily

December 2, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Great, thank you. And what’s your feedback on the second part of my question regarding the relationship he is in?
admin

December 3, 2013 at 7:21 pm

Hahah just wait b/c I have something really cool coming out later this week.

Tyree

December 2, 2013 at 7:19 am

I have to say, this really gave me confidence and I actually feel kinda better about our breakup! I still want him back, but I don’t feel as vulnerable anymore.. Just reading this in general made me feel better. Thanks!(:I was with my boyfriend for about three years before he called it off and I was heart broken.. (It was also my first serious relationship) I didn’t know how to possibly feel better.. But, now I think even if I don’t get him back, I’ll be okay! I’d look better and feel better and find someone else in the long run (:!

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:16 pm

You know, sometimes just seeing a plain laid out in front of you is comfort enough. Believe me I get it.

trina

December 2, 2013 at 5:22 am

I am in my 3rd week of no contract. I said happy Thanksgiving yo my ex and he wrote back ” haven’t heard from you in a while.” And i didn’t respond. Now he just sent me a message saying” never talking to me again?” Idk how to respond?
trina

December 2, 2013 at 4:24 am

I am in my 3rd week of no contract. I said happy Thanksgiving yo my ex and he wrote back ” haven’t heard from you in a while.” And i didn’t respond. Now he just sent me a message saying” never talking to me again?” Idk how to respond

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:03 pm

Don’t.. wait another week and then send him a text.
trina

December 3, 2013 at 5:40 am

I responded before i thought. When i saw his text message i thought of when he used to tell me that he would date me for as long as i let him. I sent back a response saying ” Of course not. I’ll talk to you as long as you let me” my ex feels that i mentally cheated on him. In your section about trust you said to cut no contract to 15 days. Should i restart nc? And if so which rule would apply to me the 15 day one or the 30?
admin

December 3, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Yes I think you should…
trina

December 3, 2013 at 11:38 pm

Which one
trina

December 3, 2013 at 6:17 pm

In addition to those questions my ex just texted me saying he was..well turned on. How do i respond to an attempted booty call?
admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:26 am

You don’t… hahaha

Cee

December 2, 2013 at 3:36 am

Please help me! My boyfriend just broke up with me, we know each other since 18 (25 now) we briefly dated when we were younger and had a long break, I got in touch with him after a long period of time after I broke up with my ex we were really happy and had so much fun together it was like we never stopped talking, but after a while my ex got back in touch and I stupidly got back with him ignoring this guy?! After a few months I broke up with my ex and after another while for back in touch with the guy because I couldn’t forget him and after a while he gave me another chance but I messed it up again by being horrible and not appreciating him, I forgot the fact that he has feelings, now he had enough and after an argument he said he doesn’t love me any more and he couldn’t believe he gave me another chance because I violate him and he said he wants to find some one else and he wants me to find some one else! I never thought he would have enough and It made me realise what am idiot I’ve been? It’s always been him, he is the love of my life! I know I need to make more effort and I know how but I really truly think he has had enough! He said he deserves better do you think I have a chance because I never heard him so sure about not wanting to be with me, and he said he would want to be friends but that doesn’t mean anything because he stays friends with his ex girlfriends. Please help me I don’t know if I should just give up and let him be happy but I really do love him and want nothing more but him. Hope it made sense thank you in advance

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:02 pm

You might want to read my newest guide that will give you some indication if it is worth trying to get him back or not.

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8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”