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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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caitlin
October 28, 2013 at 5:16 am
Hi,
First I would just like to say THANK YOU! I really like your blog, great info!!
I read a few other comments, so it seems that we write out our whole sob story and ask for advice? I have never done this before!
My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up about 3 months ago. We were talking marriage/kids everything, but I could not get hired anywhere close to where we lived. I have always wanted to travel and he has always been the type to want to stay put. So when I took a job 3 hours away in a beautiful vacation spot, he freaked out. I did not really talk to him, I just went to an interview and accepted the job on the spot. Then, I told him later. I understand that my communication needed to be better. We stayed together for a few months after (Im a teacher, so we still had the rest of the summer) and he said that if I moved, he wanted to get married. I said okay. 2 weeks later, he dumped me. He said that it would not work out because he was not leaving and he did not think I was coming back.
I did exactly what everyone says not to do, I begged, cried, slept with him… the list goes on. Then, I said that if we could not be together, we needed to cut off connection. We did not speak for a month, it was horrible but I was good. Only one drunk text and it was just the name of “our song” He did not respond.
After a month of no contact, I decided to write him an email. It was originally his suggested way of keeping in contact when I said I couldn’t talk to him anymore. At first he was pretty mean, saying he was dating already and he wanted to know why I was contacting him. But when I was overly nice, and said I was sad without him, he became very nice, very quickly. HE talked about how hard it was for him, but that he needed to move on and after 2 week of not hearing from me, he decided to move on. He started dating a girl he had dated in high school. He called me friend, ended everything with “friends forever” obviously trying to make a point that we were just friends.
But we continued to talk pretty regularly for about a month. The emails went from Your Friend, to Love or with love. We were emailing, then texting, then we talked on the phone a bit too. He even worked on my car. Then he sent me something in the mail-an advertisement, something that was an old joke for the two of us. But then things just kinda stopped. If I txt him, he will respond and we will talk a bit, but he will not initiate anything anymore. I did a bit of fb stalking, and he just went on a trip for his birthday with all his friends and his new girl went too.
So my question is, should I leave him alone and let him be happy? Just wait around and keep a little contact here an there? Or text him regularly? I do not want to bug him or be that girl that doesn’t let her bf go, but I miss him. He was a wonderful person and as much as I want him back, I want him to be happy too!
Thank you!!
admin
October 29, 2013 at 2:10 am
My favorite people in the world are ones who have never commented on websites before. It just means that you really like what I wrote and to me that is the ultimate compliment.
Alrighty! First question. Are you doing NC?
caitlin
October 29, 2013 at 3:16 am
I did no contact for about a month, then we did email, then text, then a letter. And we have seen each other once (he did my breaks right before we broke up, they were sounding pretty bad, so he fixed them). Then he sent me something in the mail-just an old joke. And after that there have been a few texts here and there. When we do text, he is always responsive, but he has not initiated anything again.
admin
October 30, 2013 at 3:37 am
I think you should aim for a “hang out” then. Try to see if you can get him one on one.
Second Time
October 28, 2013 at 12:19 am
Is it bad that this will now be the third time I have attempted no contact. The first time I only made it about 10 days. The second, about 14. And now I plan on going the entire 30. Each time his attempt for contact during it has been less and less. The first time it was every day. The second it was every week and now it has only been one text which had to do with him hearing ab me seeing another guy. Which is odd bc he’s the one who informed me that he was starting to “talk” someone that works for him who I also know. As I said in my last post, all of this is fairly recent. And from looking at your posts since we were together for 2 years, it seems like a rebound. Since they met when we were still together.
admin
October 29, 2013 at 1:52 am
It’s not bad it just means you need to more discipline hahaha.
Second Time
November 3, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Just giving an update. I am on Day 25 of NC last night I went to a mutual friend of mine and my ex bc he was having a party. He was there with the new girl he’s seeing who told one of my girl friends who is pregnant that she also wants to get pregnant soon. She is 3 years younger than me. Anyways he found out I was coming and left right away. Our mutual friends informed me that there is no comparison between this girl and myself but I just wanted to see what your feedback is bc I was irritated that he would bring her somewhere where we have mutual friends. Again, I will see him in a few days bc we are both in the destination wedding together. I just want insight bc right now I’m kinda irritated.
Elizabeth
October 26, 2013 at 9:10 pm
I hope this isnt an old post I forgot to check before responding.
I dont know where to start… I am a mess. I started dating a guy that I knew since we were little kids. We dated for 4 years. We were engaged. he went out West to work and I stayed here to finish my schooling..He needed to get out of debt and I needed my education before we could get married. My schooling was so time consuming and I felt overwhelmed with homework and deadlines.. and he had so much time on his hands to think (He drives a tractor trailer) then he started to get very insecure that I didn’t love him anymore because i couldn’t talk to him a lot.. I talked to him everyday.. but by a lot I mean quite a few times throughout the day. We fought a lot because of this.. and one day it was just to much for each other anymore and we broke up with each other. It has been 7 months and I still think about him every day… I haven’t contacted him much at all.. because I was scared of how he would react and I was also worried because I didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore.. and although I knew I loved him… was that enough.. would the fighting continue.. I want this man back.. he is the life of my life.. were truly soul mates. I have no idea what to do.. I sent him a text and a voice message.. but I’m not even sure if he has me blocked or he just doesn’t care… he loved me with his whole heart… I know this for a fact.. and i loved him back just as hard.. But the fighting got bad at the end.. things were said and done that can not be takin back.. and I think he may have moved on and has a new girlfriend… we lives at different ends of the county… I don’t know how to make him see I love him.. and that this was all wrong and we need each other… I am scared I lost him forever… Please give me some advice… I miss him so much…. I miss us so much
admin
October 27, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Is the new girl showing signs of a rebound? Are you sure he is dating someone new?
naomi
October 26, 2013 at 2:39 am
hi , i was with my ex for 7 years we had 2 children already and i was pregnant with my 3rd when he left ! i loved him to bits but within 2 days he had already found someone else and got engaged ! iwas distraught! so i ignored every message , phone call blocked him on every app & social networking site ! one day he came upto me in the shopping centre and introduced his new girlfriend so i left upset! when my baby was due i let him back in be at the birth and everything ! he started living back with me and being all flirty soon after we had our baby we had sex then he went funny for a week or 2 ignoring me and being distant ! then we started getting along fine and i told him how im still in love with him but he always says we’ll take things slow , nothings gonna happen over night , i need to be remined of what i fell in love with! so why does it feel like im being used and lead on as plan b ! he has already accused his gf of cheating shouts at her when she phones every 2 seconds ! i just want my family back together properly its been 9 months and ive tried everything o get rid of these’s feelings but everytime i look at him my heart sinks and i fall in love all over again ! we keep having sex and no matter how much id love to say no its like i cant ! just dont know what to do know as ive tried most of the above and itdoesnt seem to work although no contact for 3 months he told me he missed me we had sex and he said the reason he left was because of my low mood and he thought i could do better than him as he thought he was bringing us down by constantly loosing his jobs and having to rely on me ..
admin
October 26, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Man he seems like a total jerk to you.
Do you have any idea why he left?
Alexis
October 25, 2013 at 5:50 pm
So I have posted on another part of this website, but I just read this page:
My ex and I dated for 7 months and it was very serious. I was his first everything and it meant a lot to the both of us. He broke up with me out of the blue on Sept 1, so coming up on 2 months of us not being together. We see each other in passing and say “Hi,” but that’s it. We’re both the same age and in college and it’s a small campus. He’s in a fraternity and I haven’t been to any of his events because I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he was with another girl.
Well, last night his fraternity had a mixer and I did ask people if they saw him and so I was asking for the response to happen, but I’m glad people weren’t beating around the bush about it. They told me he was seen with a girl, a year younger than me and in the same sorority as me, making out and holding hands. They’re not officially dating, but he is the kind of guy that only talks to one girl, not multiple. He met this girl 6 days after we broke up because we were at the same house party and he got her number.
With this situation, and with her knowing exactly how I felt/feel about my relationship with this guy, do I approach her politely and just say I knew what happened and that I’m hurt, but I understand it? Or do I just not say anything to her at all?
Definitely need help on this situation!
admin
October 26, 2013 at 5:35 pm
No offense but I wouldn’t put it past a guy to talk to more than one girl at the same time. Every guy likes his ego inflated.
I think if you approach her a catfight will start. But if you stay in the shadows for a while and realize that their relationship doesn’t have a high probabilty of lasting no fight will be necessary.
Both him and her are going to do what they want no matter what you say or do. The key is showing HIM that you are the best option.
keisha-bri
October 25, 2013 at 12:30 am
Hi my names Keisha. Dated a guy for 2 years, I was his first serious girlfriend from age 16-18, was the first girl he made love too and we were very serious. I faced some problems with self esteem and was a very jelous gf, and he was a very inconsiderate bf, I did react badly to alot of situations but I allowed myself to act this way as we were so open with our feelings I felt I should be able to show him how sad I was when he upset me or made me jelous. He loved me alot and struggled with making me happy as we were so different. He came from a broken family so I was the only real constant person he had in his life. A month after our breakup (which was ended by him because he found he was making me sadder rather then happier on a quit dramatic note)he had sex with a mutual friend, this caused me to react badly as I was his first he had made alot of promises to not just get with people after we broke up because I meant so much to him. I went overseas. Had a month of no contact after hearing about him with the mutual friend, and he contacted me saying he missed me and I was a good person afterall and he could see I was just hurt, I didn’t respond for a week as I was still really mad at him and I also found a ‘rebound’ on my trip away. We continued to talk as friends when I did reply and he said he missed us cuddling and our jokes etc etc but he new we werent happy together and fought way to much, and so did I. He lied to me saying he didn’t sleep with our mutual friend and if I didn’t believe him than theres nothing he can do to make it better (he already said she meant nothing) I found out more things about them from other friends and I was so furious about him possibly lieing to me and continued to yell at him saying I could never trust him again, he ended up telling me to fuck off and leave him alone, and for once I did… I did not contact him and he did not contact me for 3 months. I’ve deleted him from facebook and alot of other things but ofcourse I no his number of by heart. After 3 months I rang and he answered and we talked about our lifes and how we were going, I brang up his birthday and he said I’d be the only one saying happy birthday to him and that he doesn’t see anyone now and he just stays home watching tv all the time and doesn’t see his friends. I asked what was new and he said nothing but a new car. I called my friend and she told me she new something and wondered if I wanted to know I said no and went to him instead hoping to find anything from him instead of other people. I ran into him and assumed it must have been about the mutual friend he supposibly slept with that he denied for the past 5 months. He admited he did sleep with her and I cryed I was so upset and he just said as if you didn’t know and was very rude. He said he had a shit day and wasn’t dealing with my shit because that was why we broke up, I said I didn’t want to fight I just wanted to talk and understand why he did it and if i meant anything at all to him.. he said yes he loved him and that he still does as I was his first! he then left me crying and drove off angrily after I said I forgive him. I got home called my friend and said I no he slept with the mutual friend, he admited he lyed today, she said thats not it… he has a new girlfriend they started dating a month ago!! I rang him furious and said why the F didn’t you tell me and he was such a smartass saying ‘ypu didn’t ask’, I asked if he loved her to being a smartass back and he said fuck off and hung up, he wouldn’t answer me after that, kept thinking I was trying to fight when all I wanted was to understand his opinion so it didn;t seem like a betrayel. The girl hes with is 3 years younger then me and looks the complete opposite of me, he talks to her on social networks how he used to talk to me and I really didn’t expect any of this because I thought being his first he would take a long time to move on. I sent him a final text saying how dissapointed I am that he didn’t tell me and that he has treated me so rudely and that I won’t call him again. I don’t want him back. I just want to know if she is just a way to move on and that I am still the first real girl that mattered most. I’ve read alot of places men don’t get over there first love.. it hurts that he seems to be doing a good job of it so soon, I really thought I would have broke his heart for a while longer then 5 months….. :/
admin
October 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm
First loves have an advantage. Though a certain portion matters on how thing sended. Are you doing NC?
Jessica
October 24, 2013 at 6:40 am
this is what happened with me, i was in a relationship with the guy and everything was perfect and i fell for him really hard. well one day i asked him what time did he want me to come over and he told me i couldn’t on that particular night because he was “sick”. well i found out he went and picked up his ex girlfriend and got back with her so he just left me in the dust. i cried my eyes out so badly. well a few days went by and he texted me saying he loves me and he made a huge mistake and wants me back and is kicking his new girlfriend out. i got my hopes up and then the girl contacted me and we met up and i showed her all the things he was saying to me and come to find out, he was saying all the same things to her and was still with her the whole time! she ended up taking him back!! when she took him back, he still continued to text me constantly saying hes not happy and misses me and all kinds of things like that. me and her got into it alot because she would tell me to stop texting him when he was the one texting me first saying he wants me and i was actually taking up for her! well this went on for a while and then once again he told me he was moving her out and wants me back..come to find out, it was all a lie once again! me and her got into it again for the 100th time. i got so sick of all the crying and hurt and drama so i finally blocked both of them from contacting me in any way. it was the hardest thing ever for me because i’m in love with this guy. i KNOW i shouldn’t want him back but i cant help it at all. i’m going to try the 30 day no contact thing. then do you think i should unblock him and message him, or what? i don’t know what to do..please help. thank you so much!!! it is very appreciated!
admin
October 24, 2013 at 8:00 pm
Good for you for doing the NC.
Yes, unblock him and message him after that.
Jessica
October 25, 2013 at 9:13 am
thank you! i will do that. but what exactly should i say in the message? also, i’m worried that his ex and i will get into another argument about it all and i don’t want the drama to start back.
admin
October 26, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Well, stay away from anything controversial so you don’t get into that argument.
Amber
October 24, 2013 at 6:20 am
About 11 months ago I broke up with my ex of 4.5 years after drunkenly cheating on him one night. I met him when I was very young and we almost had a baby together but we lost it half way. After the loss i went a bit wild and crazy and felt I needed to experience life alone. He was absolutely devastated, always contacting me begging me to come back, crying. I had to cut him off for a few months because I couldn’t help him and it hurt me so much to see him so upset. After 10 months and just being crazy, dating etc. I came back to my senses and I realised he is the one for me. I want to marry him, have his children etc. I know that after 4.5 years of course the lust is going to die off a little now (back then I was far more immature) Anyway, he now has a girlfriend, they have been together for 2 months and work together. We met for a drink and I seduced him into bed, then a week later I invited him round, he declined then showed up at my house and we made love. Afterwards he cried as he felt so bad for the girl he is with now. He wants to keep dating her and says he is confused, he says he loves me but doesn’t know if he can see me as he once did and that he needs time to work it out. He is trying to do the right thing by himself and the girl he is with now. I have said it hurts me and that I must block him from facebook and that we should both have space. I have blocked him and have vowed to not contact him again and wait and see if he makes the decision to come back to me. When we were together and after the break up I put him through so much pain. I feel us sleeping together was a terrible mistake and he might now associate me with bad things even more. I’m scared that leaving him alone will just make him forget and move on with his life, or feel that I don’t really care that much but at the same time it may want him to come back when I don’t contact him or he can’t see into my life through Facebook. Am I doing the right thing? I am just so panicked I will loose him for good and I really want him to know I have grown into a much better, and more sensitive person. I have told him I have made many mistakes and that I want to be the mother of his children. Any advice would be much appreciated. I know her still loves me but has lost a lot of respoect for me and also says after all this time apart he doesn’t know if he really knows who I am anymore. He has said things such as “If I break it off with her I’ll have to resign” “I think she likes me more than I like her” “shes a really nice person and doesn’t deserve what I’m doing to her” “Maybe it would be good to change jobs” To make matters more complicated most of his friends don’t think very highly of me anymore after breaking his heart. Am I right to leave him alone in hopes he will return? Is there anything I can do to show him I am not that person anymore, that I have grown and matured. He is almost 30 and I am 23 so I was very immature at times. Any advice would be appreciated so much, I am hurting so badly and I know that I have caused this whole situation through my own actions and decisions. Thank you! (sorry for such a long message)
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Well my first question is have you started a NC rule yet?
Amber
October 25, 2013 at 12:37 am
Yes on day two. Have tried to do it before but failed, but realised it is what I must do know. He did call me the other week to say me coming back into his life has really shaken him up, he thinks of me every day and that he wanted to know if I still felt this way, or was it just a passing faze. The problem is I’m so scared that if we got back together and it didn’t work out long term I would have ruined his chance at happiness with the girl he is currently with. I ultimately want the best for him, but I still love him.
admin
October 26, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Well, I also want you to remember that it is ok to look out for yourself every once in a while 😉
P
October 24, 2013 at 2:23 am
Hi Chris! I was wondering if you have any tips on how I can initiate contact with my ex-boyfrind who recently got together with someone else. We broke up 4 months ago and we were together for almost 6 years. My last message to him was that I wished him all the best and that it would be last message from me. He wished me also well and that was 2 weeks ago. I have really tried to get him back before by using those text messages but I guess I just pushed him further away. My question is, how can I possibly initiate contact with him on a friendly basis? I guess I should wait 30 days or more but as we don’t have any contact with each other anymore, I really don’t know how I can make him miss me if I can’t communicate with him or being his “friend”. Both of us live in different countries. Please help me out here Chris. Thank you!
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Yea this site is full of them!
Hahaha.
Andreaax
October 23, 2013 at 10:43 pm
My boyfriend cheated on me twice earlier this year,he lied as well, and broke up with me. However, I still love him and want him back. (I think, at least). So, he came back to me as I shut all contact over the summer, and we started fooling around again, but I started crying because I kept having flashbacks from when he cheated on me. It got worse, he was doubting if he wanted to get back together again because I cried and stuff, and then at the same time as we hung out almost as boyfriend and girlfriend, he flirted intensively with some other girl. After my last ‘crazy outcome’ as crying and yelling, he broke up, and went for her instead. They’re now together. Havn’t spoken with him for 25 days. What do you think I should do?
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:30 pm
I have a question.
Why would you want this guy back?
He has proven he is a chronic cheater.
Andreaax
October 24, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Thought I did worse, since I can get pretty angry when I’m drunk, but I just realised he’s an asshole.
Thanks anyway 🙂
admin
October 26, 2013 at 12:53 am
Of course 🙂
cool....
October 23, 2013 at 9:20 pm
hi there…thanks ahead of time for your feedback! Someone i met 24 yrs ago found me on facebook 2 yrs ago…we chatted daily for a year (he lives in sweden/i live in canada)…then met live and was love on both ends…so for 6 months saw flew to see each other 5 times for 10 days trips…was a lot of work with distance…so much fun, true love…never fought…he talked of the future….then at 6 months when pressure of commitment and “what next” (he has 2 kids in sweden (13/20))….he said its “wrong timing, has emotional baggage he needs to sort out etc”…we broke up…chatted daily (he wanted to be “friends til the end” and “loved me as a friend”. For those 3 months after we broke up we chatted ALL day until bedtime until i HAD to say NO CONTACT!! Did not contact for almost 2 months…during that time he met someone. When i came back as friends he hid it from me as to not hurt me and thought he cold juggle both…but he was weird so we fought and it was horrible. I asked him many times why he was being weird and always asked if he was seeing someone…he always said a big NO. He finally told me 3 months laster. SO serious for 6 months..3 months still addicted to each other..2 months no contact. I came back as friends and he was weird for 3 months…1/2 of the 3 months time he became normal again. Sexing, talking 5 hours at a time…but problem was that i JUST found out he has a GF…so it means he was sexing me/chatting me up, sending me pics daily while he has a GF. He is cheating on her…told him to leave me alone and focus on her….no contact for last 5 days. After tearing strips off of him for the past week and him apologizing…I left the conversation with fond memories of our time together so the positive stays on top not the negative. Still love him…but i did not deserve that….why did he keep me close?
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:23 pm
He probably keeps you close as a way of knowing that you are there in case he wants you.
cindy
October 23, 2013 at 10:50 am
ps: i know, one of the reason of he cheated on me, could be because i ve been a jerk by nagging him all the time while he was busy. so… i think this was my false too.
cindy
October 23, 2013 at 10:46 am
i couldnt believe that i will tell my story over here. But i didnt know what to do anymore. My ex and I, we ve been together for 6 months, he was a new employee at that time. He told me that he was in love with me and he is the one who pursued me. When we were together, he seems so nice, he hive all his time and heart only for me, all he cared was only me, for me he is the most understanding bf that i ve ever had, he take care of me when I am sick, he comfort me when I was mad, he cook for me, he did everything for me, like he was afraid of losing me, we were so happy at that time. But then, in the third months, it turns out that his parents didnt agree for him to be with me, and because he still wanna be with me, he choose to go to another city as his parents told him too or else he will need to broke up with me. after he moved tp another city, we only can communicate through the phone or msn, and he getting busier and busier. we barely to communicate between each other. when he was in the same city with me, i almost never complaint or nagging at him, i try my best to be his gf. but now, when he far away, i become unsure with myself and i became a very disturbing girl, i am nagging at him all the time, i am getting frustated all the time, and i am easily to get angry at him, but at this moments, he still try his best with his patience tried to comfort me. but then, in the sixth months, last week, his text was so weird, he didnt replied me and left my text after he finish his works, its been happened for 1 weeks, and lately when I was asking him, he confess to me that he thinks that i made him tired, his dad keep forcing him to brpke up with me, and the last reason is he has fall in love with another girl (i predict he s been known this girl for at least 1 week), so he insist that he wanna broke up with me, he keep apologize at me thousand time. i dont know whether its worth to get him back, need your suggestions.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 10:15 pm
Ok, lets take things really slowly. Right now have you done a NC rule?
cindy
October 23, 2013 at 10:27 pm
we ve just broke up last friday.i told him i forgive him. i am starting the NC today.. but by knowing him broken up with me for another girl… is it worth to try?
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:28 pm
Only you can decide that 🙂
TaTa
October 23, 2013 at 2:47 am
Hi,
I was broke up with my ex-boyfriend for 4 months ago. we knew and live with each other nearly 2 years . After one day he change work to other place and he met other girl after i saw their chat so sweet and asked and angry him. After that day , he try asked me to break , his reason said that he can’t live with me and afraid me hurt for future but I really know his mind changed already because that new girl. And one more he also ask me to become his sister. For that time when he asked me to break , I also accepted his break but not accept to become his sister .because I so hurt and angry him so much. But since that day, I agreed with him until now , I still hurt and miss him very much and I really need him in my life. And I try many way for 2 months to made him love me again but he refuse my suggest anytime. But for this month, I try to work with your NCR that not contact him and try to live in peace. However my mind not silent and still need him to love me again.
So I would like you to help me and lead me the way to get him back. And what should i do after NCR ?
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:46 pm
I cover that extensively in my E-Book and on the site here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
Autumn Christina
October 22, 2013 at 5:44 pm
me and my ex boyfriend dated for a year. almost a year. our anniversary is November 2. The beginning of our relationship was fairy tale perfect. And towards the middle, we started fighting, like every normal couple does. Maybe a little bit more then normal couples, I had a lot of personal things going on and I took everything out on him. I didn’t mean to but I did, we took breaks and I thought everything was going to be okay. But then he started telling me he didn’t know what he wanted. he wanted to get his own stuff like that. Then we broke up, kinda. He still kissed me and hugged me and told me he loved me, then one day, he just stopped talking to me, and the next day, he was dating his ex girlfriend. I’m totally crushed. I’m heartbroken. I need advice, I want him back so terribly bad.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:10 pm
How long has he been dating the new girlfriend?
Astonishingly Anonymous
October 22, 2013 at 1:50 am
I’m not necessarily trying to get my ex-boyfriend back; I think I deserve better. But I would like a little bit of objective insight…
My ex and I only dated for 5 months, and during that time, we only saw each other on the weekends due to living 2 hours away from each other. He was 26 with had a professional job at a small school, and I was 22, earning my Bachelor’s degree at another larger school. During that time, we exchanged I-love-yous, talked about getting married someday, discussed our future joint student loan payments, etc. I graduated from my undergraduate institution and accepted an offer into a graduate program on the other side of the country. He was extremely supportive throughout all of it, saying that he had no doubt we would make it work with long distance for my 2 years there and that I had nothing to worry about because he had already made up his mind about me. He asked me to fly with him to another state to spend 2 weeks with his family and friends before I moved, to which I agreed. Everything was great, his family and friends loved me, and we all had a lot of fun together. After the trip, we flew back home and I packed my bags up the next day to move across the country for grad school. We texted/called each other as normal at first, but he suddenly started to go 24-40 hour periods without contacting me. He eventually called me a couple of months later and asked if our relationship was working, to which I was frustrated at his obvious lack of effort and angrily agreed that we should break up. We spent the next 2 months without talking. I eventually sent him one text on his birthday, to which he texted back by saying ‘thank you’ and asking how everything was going with me at my new school, but didn’t say anything after I responded myself. I sent him another text a couple of weeks after that saying ‘I hope you’re doing well!,’ which he didn’t respond to at all. I found out on Facebook the next week that he had a new girlfriend, and was obviously hurt considering that it was only 2/3 short months after we had broken up. I haven’t attempted to contact him since.
I guess my question is – how is it possible for a guy to go from telling you he wants to marry you and flying you to the other side of the country to meet 50 of his closest family and friends……..to being Facebook-official with a new girl less than 3 months later?!
Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
admin
October 22, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Astonishingly Anonymous hahahahaha
I want to ask you something. Do you think you did anything that could have been perceived as unattractive. I mean the only way a drastic change like that can happen in my mind is if all of a sudden you did something that he really thought was unattractive.
Astonishingly Anonymous
October 23, 2013 at 2:43 am
The only thing I can even think of is one time he went a period of 40 hours without talking to me (no texts, no calls, no notice) and then when he finally did call, I somewhat exploded in rage (which is very uncommon for me). That was probably the first time I’d really yelled at him, but I tried to explain that it was just because I was worried (I had assumed that if it was just because his phone had died, he would have tried to let me know via someone else’s cell or via facebook). What do you think?
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:44 pm
I think that YOU need to do a NC… I honestly do.
Bernice
October 22, 2013 at 12:43 am
I had a silent break up with my man or should i say an-ex-boyfriend. We went our separate ways without an official break up. We had two months without talking and its now that he has a girlfriend and not only that, he also ‘claims’ that they are happy. He is becoming a bore because he would make silly comments during the phone convo ‘why do you like me ths much?’ ‘do u think we will ever get together?’ ‘i want you to go with me to this matric pens down party and i want to have you as my patner’ i mean like for real?? I know this guy who loves me deeply,he has all a girl could ever dream of but there’s no love. Im into a scumbag,a total pig,to a point where i just wish love was a matter of choice
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:41 am
Have you done NC yet?
Tania M
October 21, 2013 at 11:26 pm
Ok.. My Situation is sorta of like this.. But not completely.. I broke up the relashionship with my ex april 1st, for another boy me && that boy only lasted about a week.. My ex still wanted me back. So but atm I didn’t we were arguing non-stop.. That went on till mid-june. Than July 1st he went to Puerto Rico to meet his current gf.. From Mid-June to Mid-July I was phoneless internet less w.e you wanna call it.. I still had feelings for him and I was trying to get a hold of him and tell him to we could hang out over the summer. And I heard he has a girlfriend (which they are still dating) And im like no and all this she dosnt like me and told him not to talk to me.. I told her off and we got in an argument normal.. He comes back.. Calls Me On OoVoO We talk for about 4 hours..? Pretty much he asks why did you wait so long ive liked this chick since I was little && all this.. And I got mad at him when he said ive liked her since I was 8 comment and we got in an argument.. August we didn’t talk.. September.. Late September He messages me on Kik.. Hey.. We started talking.. Sexting.. . He told me that he stills loves me and I still love him.. But he most absolutely loves his girl and wouldn’t break up with her for anything in this world… And im so confused on what to do.. Cause if he loved that girl he wouldn’t be talking to me… And im like so confused can you please help me..!?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:40 am
Hmm….
Honestly he sounds like a jerk. If he is sexting you while has a gf what is to stop him from doing that to you if you get him back?
Tania M
November 3, 2013 at 11:18 pm
Yeah.. I Guess So…We Stopped Talking Because I Got Fed Up With Him Doing That… Told Him To Choose… && He Chose Her….
admin
November 4, 2013 at 5:22 pm
Ultimatums never work…
Tania M
November 12, 2013 at 1:51 am
What Do You Mean….?
admin
November 12, 2013 at 6:53 pm
What do you mean what do I mean? hahaha
Anabel
October 21, 2013 at 11:00 pm
Hi there! My story is a bit different. My ex and I were together for 6 years, and it always felt like it was going to last. Then, he started a new job and it turned out that he fell for one of his colleagues (the worst scenario, I know) and left me. It was 5 years ago (!) He is with that woman still, as they have a kid, but he claims he is unhappy with her, and so have I heard from people around. He has kept in touch with me all this time. The only reason he remains with her is the child, he says he doesn’t want to see it “raised by some other man”. And also, every now and then, their quarrels are so serious that she packs and leaves the house for some time. From my side I also have a guy by my side and a child, but I am not sure if I want it to last, as he has disappointed me in some ways. The thing is, my ex keeps calling me quite often, sometimes we have a coffee or lunch together. He always asks me about how things are going with me (and my bf…). I am not sure if he is still interested or he truly considers me just a friend. When together, he never touches me, seems nervous, each time. Once he mentioned that if he had a second child it would be by another woman, and on one occasion he told me that not marrying her was the best thing he ever did. So basically I am confused and I wanted to ask your opinion about if it is possible that he still holds some interest in me and me getting him back? Thank you.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:38 am
He could!
Have you done NC yet?
Anabel
October 22, 2013 at 7:16 am
Yes, some time after our break up (no immediately though, I did commit some of the typical mistakes as at that point I didn’t know there was another girl in his life) there was a time of NC, the contact was started by him texting me for Christmas, birthdays, etc. I actually came to know about him dating someone else through other people, it was quite a shock to know that after we split he went on living with her immediately and just in a couple of months she got pregnant, so there was no way back. After that time of NC you could say we stayed in touch pretty much all the time, always initiated by him. And his dad spoke once to mine to tell him that his son has come to realize how right he has been about everything (don’t know about what exactly).
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Right about everything? What does he mean by that?
Anabel
October 23, 2013 at 9:40 pm
Right about everything his dad told him? Who knows. But the fact is his parents actually love me, they have been sending me greetings all this time, and recently his dad spoke of mi as his “favourite girl”. Anyway, I suppose it is their opinion, nothing more, and I am interested in HIS, right 😉
He called me today, I returned the call about hour and a half later and told him I was out for a walk. The truth is I went shopping so I can be more attractive next time he sees me. He regretted I hadn’t told him I had some free time and then asked me if we could meet this week. So my question here is about the next step, how should I behave this time to make it a little bit different from our previous totally-friendly-coffee “dates”?
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:26 pm
Anabel, I am literally working on a guide for that :). If you are patient I should have it out within the next 3-5 days.
Sophie
October 21, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Well… We had been on and off for months I met him on a trip thing,at first and we got really close but he had a girlfriend but they broke up in France then we go very close,I started to like him so I told my bestfriend and she said no he’s a heartbreaker but j didn’t listen anyways he liked me to it turned out but then he had another girlfriend while we were in France because I rejected him so he asked another girl out I felt heartbroken a ways we were still close and we spent more time together than they did so we got back and it was my birthday by this time he broke up with his other girlfriend so I said no no no then he asked and asked so I said yes I was so happy but then we had the arguments then he went out with a girl then broke up with them because he said he missed me but I never went out with anyone so then we broke up a couple of weeks ago and my friend who I fell out with but then we got close (she’s a girl) and she started texting him and so did he but I kept in all in but that was a bad idea I basically exploded I told them what I thought of them why he was doing this to me all the time I hated it now he ignores my messages and she’s in Holliday for 2weeks so thank yes!but I’ll try the rule and not make contact with him I hope this all helps:)thank you for the advice