How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Crying Soul

April 2, 2014 at 5:44 am

what to do if you and your ex where together for two years & not even two week later his ex girlfriend uploads a recent picture of them two cuddling?help
Nic

March 31, 2014 at 10:41 pm

So… what do you do when your ex, who has been contacting you, caught up a few times and wanting to catch up on a regular basis, suddenly tells you that his current gf found something out about his past and is uncomfortable with your friendship, that she has said she’d be ok with it if we were to become acquainted, however for he and i to remain in contact, that would have to happen before or on, the next time we caught up. I had already gotten a text message from her, which blew me away, saying she’d found some stuff out that worried her about him and she was open to conversation/information, however i didn’t replay straight away as i was thrown for a loop to be honest and was trying to figure out how i felt about it. This text was a few days ago, i text my ex tonight to ask about a gift his mother had given his sister to pass on, and if he could get it and i could get it from him (i don’t really see his sister that much) and the response i first detailed in this message is what i got. Wtf? Seriously, the contact between he and i is sporadic at best, and mostly via text, there is nothing to it so i don’t understand why this all of a sudden. The only thing i can think of, is that she thinks i am a threat and i’ve no idea where that come from…

admin

April 1, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Typical, the gf feels threatened by you so she is putting a stop to it.

(Which I guess is her right but he may resent her for it.)
Nic

April 2, 2014 at 8:23 am

What should i do? Call his bluff? (he’s the one that told me she’d become uncomfortable and for us to continue to be in contact i had to meet her either before or the next time we caught up (very rarely do we do that). Should i just not bother replying? What do you suggest?
Nic

April 2, 2014 at 8:17 am

I haven’t done anything out of line though so i don’t know why now, this has happened. She did mention finding out something about HIS past and i suspect may have read communication between he and i from when we broke up, but even so, there is no reason to all of a sudden claim being uncomfortable about his and my friendship with is via text mostly and sporadic and tbh, from my side of things, he only told me a WEEK ago, that he had a gf, i’d asked before as was given vague answers such as “i may have a visitor over” and none of MY messages to him have been lovey dovey or i want you back sort of thing, this is why i’m nonplussed as to why such an extreme “met her or else no contact” within a specific timeframe or else. It just makes no sense to me.

Jasmine

March 31, 2014 at 10:20 am

Hey. I’m lost. Experiencing the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. I wake up and my heart drops every morning when I realize that my ex is not by my side. Sometimes I have these suicidal thoughts because of it. And I don’t want to anymore…. I really need your insight. Because I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this.

Me ex && I were together for 4 years. We were soooooo in love, moved in together, his family loved me we always had each others back and were inseparable. When we got together he was in a bad place in his life. I stood by him, helped him and neverrr left his side. Financially, place to stay, helped to better him in every way possible and just loved him with everything in me. Eventually the tables turned and he was there me when I was i was at me darkest. I admit he made sure we were fine financially but every other area just began to fade. Now we are young so there was also a lot of problems. I’m currently 23 and he’s 20. We started arguing ALOT, stopped going anywhere, and it just got bad. He stopped focusing on us/ me and more on his money. He ‘s now in a REALLY good place financially. It’s almost as if the moment he got to this place he kickd me to the curb. He broke up with me in August.

Here were his reasonings: We were arguing too much, I stopped going places with him, stopped talking to his friends, I was wasn’t being affectionate with him as much, we stopped having a lot of sex, he said I didn’t make him feel appreciated or loved and most of all he his biggest problem was that I never took a picture with him. He started having the WORST attitude with me out of blue and his whole aura kinda changed.

I admit all I was doing all those things he said. But in my defense here’s why; I did not feel like the only girl in his world and didn’t LOVEDD. He would always emotionally abuse me, criticize me, compare me to other women, go on social websites and post subliminal messages that were negative about me or our relationship. Even though only 1 was physical he was cheating every other month, lying all the time, being disrespectful and most of all trying to change me. I started feeling uncomfortable around him and his friends. Now I am a very attractive woman(not being conceited) but He made me feel soo ugly, not cool enough just really insecure. I remember him saying as we watched a show tv with a really attractive women “That’s what my future gf is going to look like.” I felt like he didn’t LIKE me, he never hung around my friends or family not once throughout our relationship. So yes I stopped hanging with his friends…. As far as me never taking a picture with him. Growing up my family never took a lot of pictures, they were barely affectionate so it was always really awkward for me but to make it worse my ex would say things to me like “it’s not my fault you’re not photogenic anymore” && “Don’t ever smile like that you look like your brother.” I grew so insecure that I didn’t even want to take a picture. I lost myself completely .

When we broke up in August I was completely out of it and really emotional partially because I as pregnant. I found out 2 weeks before e broke up but didn’t tell him until almost a month afterwards. The reason was because one I was trying to piece things together and two; the events that took place after we broke had me in utter shock. Not even THREE HOURS after we broke up he started going on dating sites looking for other woman. Of course he was still contacting me, telling me he loved me blah blah, we were even still hoping on dates and spending nights with each other. In my mind we were just having tough patch but he prove me wrong because the games never stopped and we never actually ended up back together.

I was distraught f course. He started talking to someone else even had sex with them in only a month. Soon after that i told him i was pregnant and his reaction was terrible. … Either way I wasn’t into moving on that quickly so I only went out on a couple dates. When he found out he was beyond pissed even though he was doing way worse. So I stopped worrying about other guys and just tried to focus on me while my ex was doing everything else. He would always text me or call telling me how much he loved me and missed me, wanted to work things out but he never really acted on it.

Because I was pregnant I was really hormonal and not myself so I took time to myself and stopped talking to him. Not a full month straight. Just weeks on and off. During that time I ended up having a miscarriage. He ended up talking to a lot of different girls then in December he started talking to this one girl Dominique. I was still upset with him and the games he was playing with so I wasn’t really talking to him. We ended up having the worse fall out because I sent her the conversations me and my ex were having while they were together. He was VERY upset and said some of the worst things to meEVER. . I still can’t believe the things he said.

He apologized and tried to kind of mend things between us. I still had Very mixed and hurt feelings toward him but I felt as though I had to be there for him. This was the man I loved after all. So every time he’d contact me claiming that he needed me I would drop everything that I was doing and go be by his side. We eventually ended up having sex when they broke up. He would call or text only when it was convenient for him, basically when him and Dominique were having problems. I didn’t really notice until one day he called at 4 in the morning claiming he needed me, I went to be with him. For hours we talked about what happend with us and how much he loved me. He even went as far to say that he wanted me to move back in like immediately and still wanted to marry me. We ended having sex that night and the next couple of days after that rarely heard from him. Weeks after that I found out that he had been telling her that loved her, putting more effort in to her than he ever put into me. He flaunts her EVERYWHERE, professes how he care about her on social websites and just from the looks of it treats her like how I always wants him to treat me…..all the while however he still text me saying he loves me, still flirts if ever I see him in person, and still says little optimistic things to me on social websites. My heart is so torn by all of this. I feel used and unappreciated.

Fast forward. At this point my world is shattered and I just couldn’t take it anymore. We had another big falling out and I stopped everything with him. He would text me here and there telling me he loved me while still with her and every time I told him that I was going to change my number and stop talking to him completely he would ge beyond pissed!.

Eventually after going back in forth with this in my mind I did just that. I recently changed my number. Told him not to contact me or my family unless it’s an emergency. I blocked him off of every social website. And told him that if he loves the girl he with than he need to be with her completely and leave me alone. I have this terrible hate for how he has played me and hurt me. But …..I still love him though. Still want to be with him. Still misses him everyday. Still cringe every time I think of him loving someone else. …. I just don’t know what to do or how to feel. Am I wrong for still having these feelings for him.? Do you think I he really loves her? Am I crazy for thinking that we could ever get back together again? Does he even love me, did he ever love me.?

admin

March 31, 2014 at 4:35 pm

How long specifically have they been together?
Jasmine

April 1, 2014 at 12:43 am

They got together in December && broke up in march. But they just got back together again last week.

asha

March 30, 2014 at 3:05 pm

Hi,

My bf brokup one and hlf month back. he said that he has choosen a gal for marriage as he has to move on and its hogh time. he never met that girl yet. he got it from matrimony and he just contacted her though phone and in one day he liked her and forwarded her profile to his parents. he is going to meet her next week. i want him back becuase i want to spend my life with him. he is muslim and i am hindu but i am ready to marry him.but he is not listening to me and not coming back.please suggest me how to get him back as i have tried evrything but he is not liteneing and i kno he doen’t love that girl but still he doen’t want me also.
Ellen

March 29, 2014 at 11:46 pm

My boyfriend of four years broke up with me out of the blue almost a month ago, we were doing amazing and planned on buying an apartment together and having a future together forever within the next few months, he was all for it, said he wanted to marry me and have kids with me and be together forever. So heres where it gets confusing. About two weeks before my boyfriend broke up with me I brought up an old rumor about him cheating on me the first two months we were dating with a girl I strongly dislike. This girl told me herself it was true, and he denied it all those years, and I guess I believe deep down in my heart it was true and I could tell he was lying whenever it was brought up. I just recently confronted him about it because I feel as though hes been lying all these years. If he cheated the first two months we were dating Im willing to move on from that because weve grown so much in these past four years and I honestly couldnt see myself with anyone else, and I know he would never cheat on me now. but I just wanted the truth, almost so we could be even closer if that makes sense. I came out and told him I know he did it. . He kept denying and denying it and had no idea I didnt believe him all these years. I told him we need to take a break if he couldnt tell me the truth. ( I thought wed get back together either way, I just wanted to scare him). we didnt contact eachother for a few days until we started talking again and both agreed to forget about it and get back together again. I was happy with that. As days went on he started acting different and more distant from me. About a week went by and he said he wants to breakup(mind you this is the first time ive heard those words out of his mouth since we started dating). He said he “needs time to clear his head” and that he still loves me the same and nothings changed hes just not in a good place and thinks time apart will help. I questioned if what he was telling me was legit. until I realized that maybe when he knew I knew he cheated he couldnt be with me AND deal with the guilt? anyways, about a week later we decided for him to come over so we could talk it out. I could obviously tell he was in a bad place but he said that he wants to be with me while he deals with his issues and that night it seemed like everything was back to normal. Until Id ask him to come over after work and hed make up stupid excuses as to why he couldnt. I went from seeing him everyday to seeing him once that week. It really really hurt that he didnt want to see me. I then said to him he needs to make a decision, and that I couldnt be his halfway girlfriend. He still seemed as though he wanted to be with me so bad but he wouldnt let himself. He then said he needs to deal with this on his own and that it made it worse for him to see me, as much as he wanted to he “couldnt”. So thats when we broke it off for good. I went a good solid two weeks not talking to him in the hopes hed miss me and want to work everything out. When I didnt hear from him I caved and called to ask if there was even any hope for us to get back together. He was very blunt on the phone and said that its over and that he “couldnt go back”. Thats when it really hit me that there may never be a chance for us to get back together. I know exactly what hes trying to do, hes trying to run away from his problems in the hopes that he can forget about everything. And that if he pretends like hes not hurting that it will go away. He came to get his things that I left for him a few days later, I did not see him. Still I had not heard from him for a few days until I contacted him again saying im here for him and we can work through it no matter what. he did not answer my texts or calls. Although ive heard from his father that he doesnt think hes happy alone, also from other people that hes acting very different, like almost going on a downward spiral. But he will not let me help him out of it. I read about the NC rule and decided Im going to do it for a month, because by contacting him at least once a week I havent really given him the chance to miss me, or live life without me. I guess my question is, is that can four amazing years really all be over because of this? or does it seem as though he needs time to clear his head of the guilt and confusion? we had a great four years and we both hoped and believed wed be together forever and showed no interest in ever being with anyone else. And then all of the sudden this. I just wonder if he can get over this hump and realize he wants me in his life again forever. I worry that he will try and move on forever and never look back. Like I said, it has been a month of me contacting him on and off with little to no response. And now Im trying a new approach, the NC rule and it has been 4 days of me not contacting him. I want him back so bad and this time apart has really made me realize how I want to be with him forever. I just wonder if hes putting up a front. Or if he really is trying to move on. Because how do you move on from four amazing years so quickly? I guess I just need opinions on the situation.
Ronnie

March 29, 2014 at 8:46 pm

I am new to blogging as well. I agree with your comment about not moving on due to not finding a partner that you are compatible with. I was in a relationship for four years. It ended because of things I did. Two years later, my ex and I are still interacting with each other even though he has a girlfriend. This is definitely a rebound relationship. As soon as we broke up (two years ago) he started dating her. Everything you said not to do, I did it, which made things worse for us. I compared myself to the girl, threatened to beat her up, etc. That made him more angry because he feels I’m the blame for us not being together anyway. I tried the no contact rule, which only lasted for about a week each time because he either ends up calling my house, cell, job, or coming to my house. I tried moving on and dating someone else. I didn’t feel comfortable with the new person and he didn’t accept me dating someone new, as it made him very angry. He tells me all the time he loves me and will always love and care for me. He wants to give me another chance but is scared that I will hurt him again. I notice when I am calm and mellow and not bringing up the current situation, we get along fine. But when I ask about working things out and taking me back, he tells me he’s unsure. Also, for the four years we were together, we lived together. So we had a serious relationship; day in and day out. What do you suppose I should do. I’m confused myself. This is somebody I feel I am meant to be with because everytime we try to part and go our seperate ways, we end up back in each other’s lives.
Sen

March 29, 2014 at 5:50 pm

Hey Chris,

Its been 3 months since my ex suddenly broke up with me.. I have been on NC for 3 days now when my dumb ass went to stalk his twitter and there i saw he tweeted that he has a girlfriend.. My heart broke all over again. I felt so sad and cried for like 2 hours.. I want him back so bad, But i lost all hope now chris.. I really did. Especially because he said he’d never date anyone ever again after our breakup well what a bullshitter he is isn’t it? He doesnt own me anything, He is allowed to have a new girlfriend or date or like somebody else. But this new girl is not a rebound? And I dont think NC will work when he has that new girl on his mind..Like why the heck would he wonder where i am when its been 3 months since the break up and when he has a new girl?

What do i do chris?
Kalyan

March 29, 2014 at 10:49 am

me and my boyfriend been dating for a year & half. We recently broke up for about 2 months … We’re on a off & on relationship… I really do love and I would hate to have to start over with somebody else. He was my world ! I did everything and anything for him . We broke up at least 6 times because of other females ..he would talk to other females for about a month or two and then he’ll realize that he only wants me .. My friends and family tell me all the time to just “move on” .. It’s easy to move the hard part is what you’re leaving behind… I just want him back and I don’t know how to get him back .. He tells me that he won’t be gone forever that he will come back to me , but he just don’t want to be committed right now & that he just need space to himself & he just want to have fun
Rida

March 28, 2014 at 2:25 pm

Hey i really need ur help! Its been 3 months since my boyfriend and i brokeup! We had a fight! For a week i pretended like a brokeup with him but we used to talk normally everyday nd he begged me to come back i had no intentions to hurt him i just wanted him to realise his mistake because he alwayz kept on repeating it!
Then after a week i told him i love you nd he told me how happy he was that i came back!
But then i dunno then d next day he was lyk he wants to breakup because r parents wont allow us to get married nd he even told me that he still loves me! Nd d day after i checked his fb wall nd came to know that he was in a relationship! I even asked him y he did this! He told me that he is taking revenge from as she is her ex with whome he brokeup 3 years ago nd i know how much he hated her! But den i dunno y he went in a relationship with her!
D frst month i was broken + angry nd i used to scold him etc nd he never told me anything he just used to tell i broke ur heart nd u have all rights to tell me anything!
But after 1 month i told him i want him in my life as i love hom a lit nd cant live without him
He too told me that he loves me nd he will come back just that he wamts sometime! I agreed
But den just 2 weeks back i just changed so much he told me that plz dont wait fr me i cant come back!
But i cant live without him i really love him a lot nd i want him back in my life!
I am going to my home country after 3 months nd we live in d same building so i guess its a plus point fr meI just cant wait to meet him!
I really need your help plz tell me what to do 🙁
Will wait for ur reply!
Lysha93

March 27, 2014 at 11:01 pm

First off, I just wanna say that I have never wrote on a blog type thing before so please bare with me as I try to explain my story.

So my boyfriend of about 2 years broke up with me FOR REAL on feb 1st (we had been on and off for about 6 months). We had issues, we fought alot over really stupid stuff and he had been telling me that I was smothering him and the like. I tried my best to back off but im a woman and im retarded. So about 2-3 weeks ago we had a falling out and he ended up blocking my number and saying he never wants to speak to me again. So of course im angry and bitter and whateve. But I accepted it. Then I messaged his mom on facebook (i had moved in with his mom and him and we lived together for about 9 months before I decided to move out) and I very polietely thanked her for taking care of me and that I was sorry things werent working out with him and I. She was of course very sweet and told me sge missed me and she said something that will be forever in my mind: “Nate doesnt hate you, but I do feel he has moved on”. Once again, I was crushed. So I sent him a very nice message on facebook, apologizing for being psycho anf whatnot and thanked him for the experience and said I had no hard feelings for him. About 3 days ago, he put on his facebook (which is rare, because he hates facebook and hardly posts) that he was put with some girl. I did what anyone would do in that situation, I creeped. I couldnt believe that he had moved on so quickly and cared about me sp little. He never did reply to my message and I deleted him from my friends list. It hurts way to much. So here I am, blocked number and dealing with a new amount of pain as I learn that he may or may not be interested in yhis new woman. Im trying to move on, im trying not to care. But im as low as I think I can go. I do want him back, and I have NOT contacted him since I sent that message about 2-3 weeks ago. I am attempting the NC rule. But im not sure if its gonna work… Please help. Thanks.

admin

March 28, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Ohhh you are my favorite. Any time I can make someone write on a blog when they never have before I love it.

Tell me, what is your worries with the no contact rule? Lets work through those.
Lysha93

March 28, 2014 at 10:20 pm

Well I really worry that he will forget about me and never choose to ynblock me. Im afraid that if I dont contact him he will fall in love with this new girl. Its hard to explain.

cutegilly79

March 27, 2014 at 8:12 pm

Why on earth would anyone want their Ex boyfriend/girlfriend back? Move on and find someone new you are compatible with.

admin

March 28, 2014 at 12:13 am

Because sometimes people can’t find anyone else that they are compatiable with.

Jasmine

March 27, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Hey I’m just writing to see if you have any advice that could help me please. My ex broke up with me in January just out of the blue after we had been planning to buy some land build a house and move in together…I’m also currently due to have his baby in Less than 2 weeks on top of it. This isn’t the first time we’ve broken up either the first time he told me it was coz he wanted time to himself to get a job and stuff I was

Jasmine

March 27, 2014 at 7:27 pm

Sorry had to edit my other comment I hadnt finished writing it. Anyway to add to it the first time he broke up with me we got back together within 3 weeks we had lunch went to the movies and he tried to put his arm around me like we were together still we got back together the same week i think then things were as if we had never been apart again. Until january when he txt me saying he was sorry but he couldnt be with me that he would still be there for me and his baby girl and he wasnt in love with me and we should see other people, we went to the movies and stuff in the weeks after it and he never mentioned getting back together in fact quite the opposite. Then I would get late night msgs and phonecalls from him and even a late night visit where he insisted on bringing me a midnight snack lol anyway after that i’d still hear from him every couple days or so and one night he msgd me saying he was bored did I want to come over and watch a movie I hesitated then said ok, got there we watched a couple movies and he tried it on with me but I didn’t give in that time. A couple weeks after that he rings me up late asking what I was doing and stuff then ends up telling me he misses me and it would be good to lie next to me I told him it was his fault he missed me he said he knows he ended up picking me up and we had sex that night and cuddled things seemed like we were never apart again he picked me up the next night again then all of a sudden he ignored me for days, until early this week I was angry and mentioned it to him and he changed the subject..bumped into him at the shops and he had a bunch of flowers in his hand for someone didn’t talk to me til yesterday and I had already found out from a friend that he was out with another girl a few days ago. I confronted him saying I felt like he used me for sex, he told me he was Sorry and that he had wanted to try again but his heart wasn’t in it I also mentioned the girl and he admitted he’s been ‘hanging out’ with someone and the only reason he didn’t tell me was coz I’m so close to having the baby he didn’t wanna put stress on me and apparently nothing has happened yet so he had no reason to say anything, I didn’t know what else to do I completely flipped told him I hated him as well I never wanted to be acting like the psycho unbearable ex but I don’t know how else to react to all of this. So hurt he could do this

Crystal

March 26, 2014 at 10:21 pm

Hi, me and my boyfriend were about 8 months together, he lives abroad. During all this time together, we lived together for 2 months, it was great for both of us, he called me his wife, introdused me to his parents,said he wants to have a baby with me, made everything for me to be sure that he is the one. We havnt seen for 4 months now. About 2 months ago he started to have some problems which i was always supporting him. 2 weeks ago i suggested to come and see him, he said its not a good time for him to see because he is going trought some bad times. I accepted and said i will give u all the time u need for him to be ok again. A week ago i started to notice that one of his female friends started to spend time with him, going to the cinema, parties together, she even wrote on her instagram page that she is “taken”. Im 99% sure that they r together, but i never asked him nothing about dat. During the last to weeks he barely called me, was cold and gave different excuses why he didnt pick my calls. He never broke up with me yet and neither me said anything abt the girl. Im planning to do the no calling perioud any time from now. Not going to pick his calls or reply his msgs. Is this a good idea that will make him understand the stupid thing he did and wonder why i dont reply him, will it make him miss me? Pls reply how should i act in this case. Thank u.

admin

March 27, 2014 at 11:26 pm

I think right now it is a good idea for you. Have you read my updated version of this guide?

natalie

March 24, 2014 at 10:53 pm

my ex told me that he wants to see me and himself living without each other in our lives to show himself that we are capable of living without each other… (we are in a period which we try to decide on where to do our phd’s, and he chose to stay in my collage for master to be with me and did not satisfy with it, he doesnt like the school etc. so he says that he wants to decide on his phd and make his mind about his future without thinking about me))) he said that he have so much responsibilities and he could not take ours anymore and because we have been dating for 2 years he said we became much more alike and stop doing things that we do separately because one of us didnt like it. he sad that he was thinking about this for months but could not tell me so also his love has diminished. so we broke up but stayed friends because we are working together. after 2 weeks I have learned that he was with another girl, and I asked him about it and he said it was just a girl who is interested in him, and rather than being alone he chose to hang around with her (cause he has no friends-its true). he said he doesn’t care if the other girl thinks they are dating and call him “boyfriend” it doesn’t mean anything for him because from now on he is going to be the person who only thinks himself and wont care anything else-he said. the girl is completely the opposite type of his taste, (because we were also friends for 5 years I know him very well) and everybody says that he is doing it because he really wanted a change that this is a type of rebound relationship. I really don’t know what should I think and do, because we have to see each other at least 3 days in a week and work together, I cant do the “no contact” period…or I don’t have to do the text part because we are talking constantly, but I am trying to do the other tips that u gave, but the thing is my school ends in 2 months and I am not sure to do my degree in our school or a new one, and afraid that because we wont have to see each other after 2 months he wont think about getting back together even he wants. I don’t know what should I do….
phxEx

March 24, 2014 at 5:14 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years we had be living at his parents house for 3 years I know ridiculous!I found that he was cheating trying to set up online hookups! I packed my s*** up and moved in with the parents, after a week he tried to explain what was the reason I found emails with other girls he explained to me it was his insecurities. I told him I need time to think I took me about 2 months,he was angry that I had left the house and moved in with my parents And he will never forget that i decide to leave and take time while he wept in his room for days,he said he was going to marry me! And begged for me not to leave but I said no I need time, after 2 months i saw his relative told him i had feelings for him still so his relative told him what I said , like I planned it I knew what I was doing and what I wanted. So decided to meet up made contact and cried practically begging kiss hugged but distant and fragile weird vibe and we decide to take things slow i went over to his parents in one week we went out we hung out and hooked up 3 or 4 times and then all of a sudden he said he didn’t know what he wanted,that things won’t be the same , so I cry he wasn’t sure what he wanted broken yet again ,so I said fine don’t call me don’t text me and if we see each other, then whatever and hung up the phone that was may 6 then I come to find out that he’s been hanging out with his middle school sweetheart, I haven’t made contact since May 6 , I was his h.s sweetheart he cheated before .I there any future with this man child and I’d his rebound his new to be wife, or should I just lay it to rest?
Help!
Cassandra

March 18, 2014 at 5:55 am

November 8th 2013, my ex of two years left me. I was six months pregnant (my daughter was born Jan. 22nd 2014 and I let him be there for the birth cause she went up for adoption), on November 10th 2013 two days after he left me he started dating another girl… He left me for her before. Anyways my ex and I still talk, he wants me in his life as a friend but I can’t just be friends with him, I want him back. He plays head games with me and says “I miss you, I’m not over you or I can’t not talk to you” but he has never said he loves me and the closest thing he says is he still cares… and then he says “we can’t ever be a couple again blah blah blah” and I just want to know what I should do to get him back. I thought about no contact but what if he doesn’t care, it’s been five months and I just want him to leave her for me, he was my best friend and he tells me I was his. I asked him if he loves her and he said no and he doesn’t know why he’s with her and he’s just bored he guesses…. I’ve asked so many relationship experts on what I should do to make him come back to me telling me he loves me and stuff but no one will help me, I’ve been searching for five months now all over the internet on what to do… But they all want money and believe me if I had money I would try out the books but I can’t and that’s where my search usually ends… I just need real advice one on one just someone who know what to do to just help me without trying to sell me things all the time cause I can’t. Please, if not you then maybe if you know someone who can. Thanks for reading.
HighSchoolSucks X(

March 15, 2014 at 8:53 pm

I realize this is “how to get him back if he has a gf” but, what happens if the reason I lost my boyfriend is because I cheated on him?

It wasn’t as far as sleeping with the other guy, just sexts. After a while I had to stop contact with “Zach” and he felt guilty too, but after a month or so (and my boyfriend “John” and I celebrated one year together,) Zach wanted to text again. John had always trusted me so I felt obligated to be honest with him. I showed him Zach’s recent attempt to contact me. John was upset, but told me that he “knew I was a better person than that”, “trusted I wouldn’t do it again” and that he loved me, “I was a teenage girl, we make mistakes” and “it was ok.”

Somehow we each got busier and busier, found less time to spend with each other outside the stresses of school. John works a lot for his age, handyman jobs. He made a halter rack for one of his friends “Morgan”(an ex might I ad) and I guess she and I were somewhat of friends too. She wanted him over to help hang it. I guess I showed too much unrest that he would be with her- I didn’t want to lose him because I knew that things were fragile between us. But he just kept bringing up the fact that I was the one “‘talking’ with every other guy”. He said it as a joke. But every time he brought something like that up, he just kept adding more and more disapproval of it.

Within the next week or so, he broke up with me- still wanting to be friends because of the issue of rides to and from school.

Sadly, I wasn’t thinking- and had no thought of researching our current situation. I had no idea about the “no contact” rule.

It’s been about 3 weeks, is it too late to start no contact?

And how bad have I made things by talking to John about his new girlfriend, “Lexi”? (She is the sister of one of my friends. She is two years older than us, and was also cheated on by her boyfriend.) I’m not sure how long they’ve known each other, he’s just told me they’re in 4H together. They went mudding a week and a half after John and I broke up, (sadly I learned from a friend who thought it was me who was with him) and they’ve made it known to most that they were together about 5 days after that.

John and I have liked each other since sixth/seventh grade, too shy to express it to each other, flirting and getting together within the upcoming years. I had been through so many guys- I was alright with breakups, but I’ve never felt the way I did when I was with John.

He’s had his heart played with by so many girls, and we’ve had our ups and downs too, but we made it further and became closer than either of us had been with anybody else.

I am still close with his mom and grandmother, and speaking with them in church- they have explained that they believe he hasn’t been acting the same, and John’s only told them that he and Lexi were only friends. They believe he still cares for me- but I have a feeling I hurt him too much for him to come back.

He has strong beliefs, staying faithful to who he’s with, and I was the first one he’s ever dropped- the previous girls always did it or it was mutual.

I’ve tried asking friends and family on what to do
It’s split down the middle of each party
“Give it some time, you’ll both figure this out” or “maybe it’s best and just wasn’t meant to be”
I’m having a hard time believing who is right, considering both sides include very honest people – and when wearing makeup I’ve been both called “pretty” and “slutty.”

I need advice on whether I should just accept John and I as friends, or start the long painful process of trying to get him back. I know I should fight for what I love, but I care for him so much I only want him happy- whether we’re together or he’s with someone else.
And I’ve been wearing the necklace he gave me for Valentine’s day, and on it- the ring that says “love” that he got me for our one year together. Should I discontinue wearing it?
Thank you so much for taking the time for reading this and for any other advice you have!

admin

March 18, 2014 at 4:53 pm

Have you read my page on cheating??
HighSchoolSucks X(

March 18, 2014 at 10:46 pm

Yes I did. I read every page I could in any way related to the situation. Basically I got out of them; don’t talk to him, stop apologizing, play nice with Lexi, and through the few days of no contact – his mother and I have discussed that he is utterly clueless

John’s mom agrees he has seemingly been acting troubled and he won’t talk about anything so there may still be feelings between us and Lexi may just be a rebound
but because I was in Lexi’s position only a year ago (John and I were friends, I waited on the side and helped him through the break up) It’s a little unsettling to envision her waiting in line a few weeks until we fell apart.

I just don’t want to go through the entire process of showing him I love him and then his stubbornness telling him to walk away and to go through the pain again.

But I want to thank you for all the time you invest into this site. It helps so many people; every article increasing calmness and assisting in focusing on what needs to be done next. Let me just say, you’re amazing and thank you so much. Hopefully this “no contact” helps him see and I won’t need to bug you anymore with my extremely long comments! ^.^”
HighSchoolSucks X(

March 22, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Hey Chris,
Thank you for writing advice that helps so many women. I’ve been doing No Contact for about a week now, and I know after about a month I should be the one to text John first.
The whole point of the exercise is for him to miss me, correct? I’m not sure what to do now because my BEST FRIEND was trying to “help” by telling him why I wasn’t talking to him, I wanted him to miss me, etc.
He responded to her, annoyed, and told her he wasn’t going to play any games.

Do I still continue No Contact now that he knows what’s going on, and his stubbornness won’t let him budge? Or do I move on to texting him?
admin

March 23, 2014 at 4:41 pm

….. your best friend… dangit.

Just keep doing it. Even if he knows whats going on it can still work.

Karla

March 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago (almost four months) we were constantly talking and occasionally met up and had sex throughout this period because he claims to still “love” me and I really still love him. He doesn’t want to be with me right now and won’t give me a legit reason why but he’s not the type to sleep around or have a rebound relationship and hasn’t really got a reason not to be with me. It’s frustrating because no matter what I said or did he kept pushing me away telling me he couldn’t be with me. His friends and family don’t particularly like me anymore due to lies he has told them and they keep telling him to not get back with me and move on- and he seems to be listening to them. However he told me to wait for him and then decided that it was unfair on me to wait because he didn’t know how long it would take for him to be with me. However, when I started my 30 days no contact he wouldn’t stop messaging me. And when someone told him I slept with someone else (which I didn’t) he cried like a baby down the phone and slagged me off. He then realised he was being a dick and the person was lying and apologised to me. I started the no contact period again and he saw a picture of me with someone else- assumed I was in a relationship and then continuously messaged me about it for four days- all of which I ignored. He used emotional blackmail to try and get me to reply to him. He then eventually realised that I was doing some form of no contact and said he was going to do the same and blocked me. Will this no contact really work? After all he did pour his heart out and tell me he wanted to be with me “one day” or is it just time to give up on him and stop letting him mess with my head?

jem

March 19, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Now you must take the next step and start going out looking hot and appearing at social events with a hot guy.
Ashley

March 19, 2014 at 4:31 am

OMG…..I’m going through the exact same thing you are. WOW! When I read your story it’s identical to mine (except having sex with him) to the tee. And I can’t find any answers to my problem…….

Jay

March 12, 2014 at 12:57 am

I was in my first serious relationship with someone I cared deeply about. We dated for six months. We had to break up because of an incident that happened at school. I told him when I broke up with him that I liked someone new. And told him who it was. He didn’t even cry when I broke up with him but I talked to him on Facebook and he told me he cried. He has a new girlfriend. I was talking to him a few days ago and asked him why he was dating her. He said he wasn’t going to answer that. Then I told him I miss him and he said if its worth it I don’t like kissing her and then I said I miss you again and he said stop saying that. I could tell he was getting emotional.Him and his girlfriend have dated before. They dated before me and him went out. I think all she is, is a rebound. I need advice. Should I get him back. Or let me be with his rebound.

Jay

March 12, 2014 at 12:58 am

Or let him be with his rebound.

Jessie

March 11, 2014 at 5:23 pm

Thank you so much, you’re really helping me I was in a 13 year relationship and I am more than sure that he left because he was in love with someone else.. But I want him to regret what he’s done I loved him and he nevcr did it before.. But if he does come back I will make him prove he’s trust worthy but the way I feel atm I don’t think that there is much chance I have been ignoring him at the advice of friends but almost a month ago I did break the rule but that was almost a month ago. I have already been bettering myself losing weight etc because for a whole month I lost my appetite now I have nearly lost 2 and 1/2 stone.

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