How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Diane

September 5, 2014 at 1:17 pm

I was with my boyfriend for 6 years and I caught him cheating and found our they where together for almost a year he is still with her. I also found out that she is pregnant and it is a possibility it could be his child. He said that she was with him and later found out she had also has been with other guys as well during the same time they where together so he is not sure who she is pregnant by. He still want to remain friends and he tells me he made a mistake and he still love me. I do talk to him on the phone 1 or 2 times a day sometimes there has been times that I miss a day or two without speaking to him at all so when that happens it do not like it so he keeps calling over and over again nonstop until he knows that am not going to answer his calls. I have not completed started the no contact rule. What should I do?

admin

September 15, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Wow he sounds like a complete scumbag. Are you sure you want him back after what he did? I don’t think I could forgive someone for what he did if it happened to me.

Michelle

September 5, 2014 at 12:18 am

I met a guy in April. He had dated a girl for 3 years before that. She broke up with him in January. She never hung out with this friends (met them only once in 3 years). She ended things with him abruptly and said it was because he spent too much time with his friends.

We dated for 4 months. It got serious very quickly and we were spending 4-5 nights a week together. By month 3 we were saying I love you and planning a future. We met each other’s friends and families. He told me he’s never been happier in his whole life. We continued to hang out with his friends a few nights a week and I was happily accepted by all of them. We became friends too.

At the end of month 4 she contacted him after we saw her at a social occasion. She saw us very happy together and got jealous. He told me he had unresolved feelings for her. He said he still loves me and he was happier with me. But he doesn’t think it’s fair to date me when he has these unresolved feelings. So he has to try to figure everything out.

It’s been 2 weeks and they are back together. But nothing has changed. He still hangs out with his friends. She (to my knowledge) does not. I am in the middle of no contact now.

I do want him back if there is any way. I hope that because their relationship didn’t work before that it will fail again. He was honest with me, and as hurt as I am I do appreciate how he handled the situation.

Do you think there is hope of getting him back? Any tips on what to do after no contact? I realize I was the rebound here…but if the rebound relationship is a happier, better fit…it just feels like he might be back.

Any advice would be great.

admin

September 5, 2014 at 12:35 pm

Yes, text him and slowly build attraction!

Gigi

September 4, 2014 at 8:05 pm

Oh, and this is our second relationship. We dated back in 2012 for a couple of months in the summer. Then got back together last September, for 9 months. He was great and romantic, except for his wondering eye and incredible need for female reaffirmation… which he is working on, away from me, and -sadly- while dating other women.

admin

September 5, 2014 at 12:29 pm

I think I just answered you already 🙂
Gigi

September 5, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Yes, so sorry about that! I thought they would go togehter, thanks!!

jen

September 4, 2014 at 8:01 pm

My son father doesn’t want to work things out any more he’s in love with his new gf abs been with her for a month only I’m bury bc I want my family back im trying the NC but I’m scared I might lose him he’s also so confusing like when he kisses me goodbye he almost kiss me and he always finding some reason to txt me but tells me he’s happy and not in love with me please help uI want my family back

admin

September 5, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Looks really good to me. Have you read the 2.0 version of this article?

Gigi

September 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm

Hi Chris- I’m so devastated and dopamine deprived! I walked off on my ex almost 3 months ago ( June 10)due to his wondering eye. I did NC for 5 weeks and we saw each other again on July 15. It was a good date, he showed all signs (touch, tears, reminiscing on the relationship,etc. Sadly, he went on a trip a week later, and we rehashed the whole relationship on chat, I heard he was dating someone from his office. A marathon of pain. He brushed off his dating, said he had not closed the book on us,assured me he’s working on himself to be better “for us, or another partner in the future”. I initiated most contact after he returned in August. He was different, answering hours or a day later. We met for drinks 2 weeks ago and again he was warm, affectionate (though a bit more distant), this time I didn’t put my walls up, but reciprocated. He tried to explain his wrongdoing and said he still was working on himself. He said he “missed us” and “I think about you a lot”. I kissed him -and he reciprocated-. 3 days later he was initiating contact. Then a week later, silence. a Week later, I had to stop by his apartment to pick up a document and he was away for the long weekend. He seemed a bit nervous about the mess, but said ok. That’s when I knew… everything of us was gone. There were clear signs of him seeing someone else. He left me a whatsapp message days later, saying he is “seeing someone consistently”, this is his 2nd. woman in 2.5 months. He wants to concentrate on this “even though he can’t tell if it’ll workout” and how “I’m very special and I want us to be close” “I still miss you,I think about you, and us. I’m thankful for everything we shared”. After many messages he finally called last Thursday. I answered calm and in good spirits trying to seem “cool”. He explained this is someone he’d gone on dates and was now doing well with (!), he wants to be “better to her by listening to all the things he should’ve done better with me”. He also mentioned noticing last week how I’m moving on too -I unfriended him on FB, but he still checks up on me and likes whatever is public. He saw a location post for an event out of town in which my old ex bf was tagged-. I told him I’m going on dates. I’m taking it easier because I don’t want to rebound on anyone, especially not an old ex because he is a dear friend,and I love him. I wish you much love and finding whatever it is you need. He sounded sad and said, yes, you deserve it. Later at dinner w/friends, including that other ex, I was tagged at a restaurant having fun. I felt better, turning the tables a bit. 2 days later he sent me a whatsapp message telling me he’s working on not glancing at other women, apologizing for putting me through that in the past, and wishing I was doing well. -I can’t understand him. He’s got a new gf, yet wants me close JIC? I answered a days later with a “yes, it was hurtful. I hope you’re well too”. I haven’t heard from him in 5 days and I wonder what should I do now. NC again? LC? how? I do want him to be better, but not with another woman… ugh. this hurts.

admin

September 5, 2014 at 12:26 pm

Well, if you left him b/c of his eye… (does he know that was the reason you left?)
Gigi

September 5, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Hey there, Thanks for replying!- Yes, he does. That’s why I can’t understand his telling me about his new gf -but wanting us to be “close”, the mixed messages, or his “working to be better, growing, etc” -the last conversation made me feel like I regained control and allow him to do the reaching instead.

Could this be another rebound? (he’s been seeing other 2 women),none of these girls are “his type”. Also, he kept telling mutual friends “We are on a break figuring things out”, and all of the sudden he is happy with someone he’s gone on a couple of dates with? I wonder if he went totally cold overnight after seeing my closeness w/ex on FB.

What should I do next? By the guide I should go NC again, but I have no idea what tactics can be effective anymore. 🙁
Gigi

September 17, 2014 at 7:43 pm

hello Chris, “Yoda”. This is a painful chess game played by a cat and a mouse! I went NC for almost 3 weeks, and he went on full on pursuit after me immediately. All type of emails, from “Thinking of you” “thinking of you often, hoping you are warm tonight”, to “can we chat” “memories of us” “I’m grateful for us”, “I think of us often”, the works!leaving me messages apologizing for the past, etc. 1-2 every day.

Last night he sent me an email about recording a song he wrote for me (at a studio with his band)and asking me to stop by. I -finally- answered. I told him I didn’t know if it would be appropriate, but he insisted this was our story. Then I told him I wold check if it was ok with my new bf. He immediately said “it might not be a good idea because we both have ppl in our lives we need to respect, even though I would love to have you there”. I thank him for being understanding. He then sent me: “:-( I hope it could be different and you could be there for us”.

This morning I sent him a response saying that HE was Right, this is our story, and there would be other ppl present, so I would stop by. He answered “I’m torn. I want you there, and this is our life. I would love to share this moment with you, but the person I’m seeing would be deeply wounded to even know we are talking about this” (WTF! he reversed it!) – So I waited and answered cheerfully ” No worries, I was just reconsidering your invitation and your opinion. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience her or my bf. I’ll be there in spirit. Be well 🙂 He answered: “You will be there in spirit, and I’ll think of you as I sing”. NOTE: all my responses were about 1 Hr. delayed, his were 3-5 minutes.

So, please help me decode this: 1) is this good? 2) Did I lose stronghold or was I able to reverse it to him? 3) I don’t think he is so into her if he is chasing after me every day, and as of last night, very set on seeing me at the studio. He moved and sent me his new address too. Should I go back to LC or NC? I am a bit lost. He only refers to her as “The person I’m seeing”. What now?
admin

September 18, 2014 at 4:30 pm

1. I don/t think its bad.

2. I say go back to LC for a couple of weeks or so.
Gigi

October 6, 2014 at 9:53 pm

Hello Chris. I went total NC for almost 3 weeks now (until Friday night. In that time several things happened. 1) He broke off w/new gf a day later. 2) He started contacting 2 mutual friends (incld. my best gf) asking them to let me know he is available, and wondering if I would consider dating him again. 3) Started sending me daily emails and texts about missing me, and how he thinks about me all the time.

On Friday night he sent me this email about wanting to see me if it was appropriate. I told him it was late and we could have coffee the next day. Then he suggested brunch. I accepted. We had a sweet and fun time. He talked about ALL the changes in his life, incl. job promotions, taking time on “his own” to be a better partner, improving his life, being sorry for things going bad on our breakup, hurting me, etc. Brunch turned into wine tasting an hour away, near a Reserve he always wanted me to see waterfalls. There he told me how he loves me, wants a life with me, how he thinks of me all the time and every day, etc. I also got to know his last 3 girls were from eHarmony (!?) As it got later, we went hiking, then he suggested we stayed in the lodge (I KNOW!!) So, yes. I messed up with ex-sex. Which by the way, was very romantic, all full of I love you.

The next morning, he was still sweet, wanting to show me more stuff. I was feeling guilt ridden as hell. I was seeing someone -whom I had just a couple of days before asked for a break)and felt bad. he then changed the tune a bit. He told me how “this time apart is important for me to grow, even if the risk is losing us -again!”, how he seems me as the mother of his children, how he always thinks of me for future plans, Christmas, every day life. I just don’t get it 🙁
He said to be looking for someone who can be his peer, it freaked me out, since our educational levels are different and he is an Ivy leaguer. But how the big problem is that he cannot -yet- find the connection and emotional depth we have in other other women. Indeed this is what made him break up with them.

We said goodbyes last night, lots of kissing and hugging -mostly from him- telling me he loves me blah blah… Sent me an email with “I miss you baby” 2 hours later, another hour later a looong email explaining why he needs this time to be “alone” (but dating of course) He has not closed the book on us, but wants to be a better man, partner and hold his head up high (Huh??) and how he admires I loved him through his dark times. I answered today, trying to be cool (and somewhat proud)telling him I appreciate he thinks about me everyday, and how much he says to love me. It was nice to get perspective of us. I’m at peace, and it was nice to hold his hand one last time. He answered right away with a “I hope this is not the last time.” What should I do? he was chasing me like crazy for 3 weeks, even broke it off with the rebound. Asking friends, and now this? I know I overstayed the date -he pushed for that relentlessly. and I had ex-sex. Argh! What now? –I feel numb. Thanks!
admin

October 7, 2014 at 1:46 pm

I think I already advised you…
Gigi

October 7, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Oh thanks! (and sorry!) I’m trying to find where I posted.

Erika

August 15, 2014 at 3:31 am

I met my ex-boyfriend last year in January and we were a hit after just a couple weeks of talking. We both were really happy – though I have depression which caused random outbursts of cries at night for no reason or the reason being I didn’t feel like I was a good girlfriend since I forgot to text him since I still wasn’t used to being in a relationship… Mind you, he was also my first serious relationship too (we both met each other’s immediate and extended families and my relationships before him weren’t nearly as special or intimate)… Also, my very last relationship before him was with a very abusive guy who never learned to control his anger (but that’s a story for another day).
But he was supportive of me and always reassured me that everything was alright and that things would be different since I was with him, that we’d be together in the long run, and that he and I agreed to remain celibate until marriage. We would do a whole bunch of activities together and planned trips we would like to take further down our relationship. We thought this would work because we were each other’s best-friends, or so I thought… The summer after we started dating I went on multiple trips with my family, making it more “long-distance” since we could only see each other physically for really only a few days from what we had from those summer moths. Fast forward to August 2013 after spending nearly my entire summer away from him (planned before I even met him) and not even a week after fall semester starts, he breaks up with me. No warning signs, it was just a really abrupt break-up I never saw coming. Just the Sunday before he broke up with me he acted different toward and would refrain from using names throughout our conversations. Then the morning of he never texted me at all until he caught up with me in one of the only classes we had signed up together for.
He never said why we broke up. He gave me reasons that were too simplistic, superficial or vague. He only complained that he didn’t understand the Latin mass when I brought him to church with me on Sunday’s. My family isn’t used to having the “baby” of the family date – it’s going to be awkward, but I didn’t know it bothered him so much. Then he said his feelings had changed when literally the week before the break-up happened he just talked about how he couldn’t wait to spend his life with me with such great detail since we supposedly would “do this for the long haul”.
We never dropped the classes where we were together in and for the first couple months after, he still acted like my boyfriend or from other people’s perspective’s “a really comforting best-friend slowly trying to get out of the friend zone”. He would still call me saying he loved me at night and text me how I’m doing – but when the initial heartache happened, I just didn’t want to talk to him… It only makes sense, doesn’t it? I still wanted him back and once I felt like I could talk to him (after the NCR) it seemed pointless to him now. I reached out to him casually and really was the only one trying to make “the friendship work”. And no matter how many times anyone would ask he never disclosed the real reason to fully comprehend… Then he also made a reason that he just wanted to focus on his studies and not get distracted with a relationship. And really, only his cousin, who used to be a mutual friend between us was the only one who knew about the break-up from his family until the new year rolled around.
I hadn’t talked to my since the year started hoping it would change anything – when it didn’t. I still missed him when I tried the NCR again wrote “letters” to him still and would “send” them my best-friend to read since I didn’t want to send them to him – but I assume she CCed them to him since she always tries being a matchmaker. Then Lent started and I gave up social media up until after spring break since I got into an accident resulting in retrograde amnesia and told people of my condition since people were offended I couldn’t remember them.
I didn’t remember anything about him when that happened and my family was glad since because my said depression got worse that I had to see my psychiatrist since it took a big chunk out of me and whilst helping me regain my memory she passed away from a stroke. However, I have family in the government, the armed forces – among others that tried to hide anything that reminded me of him or anything I sent to my friends.
He contacts me. I say I don’t remember. No one will tell me who he is to me. I tried texting waiting a few days if he didn’t answer and try again. I tried calling him, no answer, which resulted in a block call still going to voicemail… And even so, I planned what I would say since I didn’t know who this guy was – but then he called me a liar. Especially to lie about something as serious as a case of amnesia is one of the worst and lowest things a person could do and he wanted nothing to do with me since I wouldn’t confess to “my lie”.
I haven’t talked to him at all after that. I still tried remembering him. And truth be told, I didn’t even remember what he looked like until a friend told me he always looks at me when he sees me when I walk by… Then Easter Sunday happened. And then I remembered everything because I went to meet his entire family Easter the year before which brought me to tears.
And now, to present day I see he has a new girlfriend… When he said he didn’t want to be “distracted” when he was with me.
And I miss talking to my best-friend and being a dork with someone I finally got to open up to and not be afraid to be judged. As I first mentioned, we were really happy until one weekend he just acted different and decided to call it off after our first day of class together. I still think of him everyday, I write in a journal saying things about my day wishing I were saying it to him or remembering things that reminded me of him. The only thing I’m afraid of is him not wanting any part of me anymore even though I want him to be happy. I just want us to be a part of each other’s lives, but how I still wish he were mine.

Ayden

September 1, 2014 at 1:14 pm

My boyfriend and I were together about a year and
My best friend lanie started getting wierd and then so did he
They talked a lot Nd I got really jealous I tried no to show it but
It was really hard and he then broke up with me and to my COMPLETE
suprise he dated my best friend I couldn’t belive it my life seemed over and
I was so depressed friends did everything they could to brake them up and they did for a day and then they dared 1 day after that brake up I was so mad I tried every website song everything you can imagine to get over my situation I jut really wanna know what to do? Please help
anne

August 16, 2014 at 2:46 am

hey, I am so sorry for your situation. I am somewhat in the same situation and it’s sad…and I am praying to whether i should forget about my guy or I should ask God to perform a miracle for him to come back to me. Every day I do hope he will send me a text, a message for an email. I will pray for you. Anne
admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:52 pm

Wait, are you still blocked?

pratishtha

August 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm

i was in a relationship sin 2 n a half years v were very serious for each other but differences startd to come last year ,i was in 11 n v had same class few days were good but he broke up giving lame reasons that his parents got to know from a priest i dont know how ,but he soon started to search new girls he kept on searching and tried on many but got none but he tried to contact me througha mutual fried ,i refused to talk to him he tried 3-4 times but i did not reply ,now a girl likes him since i dont how long n she s a prostitute kind of person when my ex got to know about her liking he proposed her ,when he was with me he used to hate her the most like anythin
i just want to be friends with him or may even plan to date him in future if i find him eligible please give me suugestions to go on further

admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:34 pm

I am confused… he is dating a prostitute?

nikki

August 14, 2014 at 12:54 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for almost eight years. He is my first boyfriend and love. We have two little girls together and one on the way. We have been split up for almost two months and he already as another girlfriend. He met her at work, they were friends while we were together. I know that he didn’t cheat on me, he has very strong morals. Anyways two weeks after we split was when I found out that I was pregnant with our third child. The reason he left was because of the last two years have been very stressful for the both of us, and instead of talking we yelled and each other, and where very mean to each other. I have not done the NC. Since our break up. In fact I have done very thing else to begging and pleading. We still talk everyday. He confuses me because on moment he says that he misses us and ands to spend time with me, and the next its don’t ever call him again. I don’t know what to do any more. I just want us to be a family again. Is it to late?

admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:25 pm

Does he know about the other child on the way?
nikki

August 14, 2014 at 1:27 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for almost eight years. He is my first boyfriend and my first love. We have two little girls together and one on the way. We have been split up for almost two months and he already as another girlfriend. He met her at work, they were friends while we were together. I know that he didn’t cheat on me, he has very strong morals. Anyways two weeks after we split was when I found out that I was pregnant with our third child. The reason he left was because of the last two years have been very stressful for the both of us, and instead of talking we yelled and each other, and we were very mean to each other. I have not done the NC. Since our break up. In fact I have done very thing else,
begging and pleading. We still talk everyday. He confuses me because on moment he says that he misses us and he wants to spend time with me, and the next its don’t ever call him again. I don’t know what to do any more. I just want us to be a family again. Is it to late? And I don’t understand how he could of moved on so quickly with this girl. He tells me that she is crazy and stresses him out all the time. But that he has developed very strong feelings for her. He tells me that sometimes he is happy with her but he misses me all the time, but he is afraid things will go back to being the way they were before he left. Ive told him a million times that they won’t but it doesn’t do any good. I just don’t know what to do. He says that this girl is not ur average girl and that she is really special, and she tells him that she has never met someone like him and that he completes her. But they have only been together for two months. I don’t understand. What do I do, do I even have a chance?

Jenni

August 13, 2014 at 11:09 pm

First off, I’m going to start by saying that he isn’t the type of person that the no contact rule would work on, I think.

We were together for 6 years and almost 2 months.

A little about our relationship:
We met online through a mutual friend when he was 25 and I was 18. We didn’t like each other at first, not going to lie. We talked for a couple of months and decided that the other wasn’t so bad! I’m going to guess about 6 months after we started talking, we fell in love. We never met face to face but we web cammed and talked on MSN messenger (when it was a thing) every day. We were always excited to talk to each other. We even made a list of everything we had in common.

I was ready to meet him, and he wanted to meet me. I told my dad “hey, I like this guy. I’m boarding a train to see him in Indiana.” He didn’t like the idea of that so he let him come to stay here for about a week. It was great. I had sex for the first time, we strolled the beach every day; we went and got ice cream; life was amazing. I was so happy and so was he. I decided to move to Indiana with him. We packed up my stuff and loaded it into the car… And on we went. We had a lot of… Fun on the ride up there.

Our first small argument was quickly extinguished. I was a little bummed shortly after getting there because I was homesick, but he understood. The next 6 months were great. I had a job. He got his check every month. We had a roommate (that mutual friend I mentioned), and the bills were… Normally paid easily. In February, we decided to move to Florida so he could be near his mom.

The drive was long but nothing went wrong. But a month after we got to Florida, things weren’t exactly the same. I knew he had some mental issues, which is why he gets disability checks every month. He wasn’t on medication at the time and wasn’t seeing a doctor. We started on to fight a bit. I pleaded with him to go see a doctor. He did and he got medicated. We were happy again! A few spats here and there but nothing major. That’s normal in any relationship.

About… I would say 4 years of being together is where it startedbto get a little sour again. I had lost my job (luckily he just finished paying off his car) so money was very very tight. So tight that we couldn’t eat anything for a week. I got a job, but I hatednit. I made food money with it, but I was happier struggling financially than working there. So I quit. I got another job 2 months later and actually stayed there until he broke up with me, and the only reason I left was because I had to move back to Virginia, but I’ll get to that later. Times were still tough. His mom’s health was, and still is, getting worse, so we all moved in together so we could take care of her and all 3 of us would be bettwr financially. The problem is, his mom has always hated me. She talked about me to him behind my back and always blamed me for everything, even I’d he did the same thing.

We also had sexual frustration. I have a low libido so I don’t want to have sex that much. It feels great but I just can’t get myself into the mood. He was never a huge fan of a lot of foreplay. His depression over the past year or so got worse so he needs to be remedicated and gets two new doctors. The pills work great, for the most part. He still had suicidal thoughts from time to time but he’s always going to have those. We argue a lot more after his mom gets moved in with us. Just over little things. I know I’m partially to blame. I don’t clean as much as I should. His mom wanted me to baby him though, like filling his pill pocket for him. He didn’t want to be babied. She added a lot of strain on our relationship, in case you were wondering.

The house I just left was a beautiful corner house with fruit trees and a fences in yard for our 2 dogs. And I thought he was happy for the most part. He tried to break up with me a few times, but I asked him to stay. We worked it out. I would fix some problems I was having, but the next time he would try to break up again, he would say the same problem is there. He also says I act immature sometimes and I’m loud and that the age difference is just too much. I think its his mom talking through him.

A pregnant homeless girl comes into my work, and naturally I feel bad for her. So I give her a little food and when my ex gets there to pick me up, I introduce them and I said we should give her some help. He agreed, so we gave her $40 and dropped her off at Kmart because there was a shelter near there she said. I was worried about her the whole night so the next day before work, I told him he should look for her to see if she was ok.

Work was over and he did find her. He moved her into the house. I thought it was temporary. I was wrong. I was trying to hold his hand all day and he wouldn’t let me, so I ask him. He says it’s because he has a crush on the other girl. I’m devastated. I talk to her and she promises that she wouldn’t do anything to break us up. What a crock of ****. The next day, he says he wants not end it with me because he “wants to be happy”.

The morning after next, he has a mental breakdown to the point of throwing up because he ” doesn’t know what to do.” I console him and hold him while he sleeps. Keep in mind, then previous night, we cuddled in the same bed. The day of the mental breakdown, we talk and o tell him my concerns
She informed me that she had an STD, so I tell him. He says he didn’t want to be with someone with an STD, so he decided we could start over. I had my hopes too high. Apparently it wasn’t an STD like she told me. It was just an infection that can be cured with antibiotics. So he wants her again. A day or two later, his mom threatens to kick me out of the house, even though I’m on the lease. Freaking out, I call my mom and she arranges to co.e get me 3 days later. The rest of the time I’m there, when he isn’t out with her, hes in with me, kissing me, hugging me, holding me, apologizing to me, and he even let me ***** sex after they already started on going out, so he cheated on her with me. He told me every day that if hehad any doubts about them as a couple, he would break it off and take me back, because he still loved me. He said he missed me already before I even left. I still believe he loves me.
————————–

I did the worst thing I could do: I spam called him today and now he won’t talk to me. It took me a long time of being here to not cry all day. I went 3 days without eating. She restricted him talking to me. Then she said it was ok as long as I slowed it down, which I did.

Two days in a row, he texted me at night making suicide threats. He finds out that she is a schizophrenic and breaks up with her yesterday. He apologized to me and said that he never meant to hurt me and that deep down, he knows both at he needs me. I cried there because I’ve been waiting for him to say that for a long time. So we talk for a long time and come to the conclusion that we could start over and just talk online like we did before and make a new relationship. I even said I would drop pet names if it made it easier.

Last night, she gave him ***** and changed his mind about leaving her. He told me that he “doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.” But he is making the mistake again of he’s looking for happiness. He promised me that he wouldn’t continue with her. He still feels skeptical about her to this second, but he said he would rather have this than to have nothing.

He has a very large emotional wall and he’s afraid of getting hurt. Right now he has me blocked from contact because I… Kind of spam texted. When he told me he was back with her, I explained that he should be single and that I wasn’t trying to get him back, because I need to work pnxsome things for a while and so does he. He didn’t like the fact that I didn’t want to drop it when he did, so he stopped talking. I spam called him and then he blocked me. And as far as I know, he still has me blocked. Normally when he got mad, he would come out of it. He does things he doesn’t mean when he gets mad and he regrets it later, so he might unblock me later, but I’m afraid she won’t let him.

I miss him. I miss my dogs. I miss my house. I miss my life with him. He was, and still is, my everything. I would so almost anything to just talk to him and tell him how sorry I am.

Idk what to do. This is killing me inside.

How do I steal him back? I used to think this was a “night in shining armor” type of infactuation with her, but now I think he’s blind. She is clearly using him so she has a place to live.

Nobody she has shacked up withxletsnher stay for long. Shes 30 and pregnant with a 60 year old’s kids. And without us, age would still be homeless or in jail, because we took her to her court case too. She would have missed not without us. And she wouldn’t have gotten her 3 meds she needed.

What do I do?

admin

August 14, 2014 at 12:47 pm

….. this is by far the most bizarre thing I have ever heard… He left you for a pregnant woman who had an STI and is cheating on her with you. Do I have this right?
Jenni

August 14, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Here’s a small update, but a bad one. I texted him just to see how he’s doing and he said, “didn’t I tell you to fuck off? I don’t know how you keep getting around my SMS block.”

I’m crushed. I don’t know if he will ever talk to me again, even if they stop seeing each other. He normally gets over his anger over night but he’s really mad this time. I’m so scared. I don’t want my life without him.
admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:40 pm

I’m thinking it may be time to not contact him for a good while…. He obviously still has some anger.
Jenni

August 15, 2014 at 11:07 pm

I had to contact him earlier to see if my birth certificate was mailed. He gave a short answer and said “bye”. A few hours later, I ask him if this not talking time thing is forever or just for now. He says it’s forever. I told him I would stop texting him if he would just explain what I did to make him so mad. He responded with, “Then I’m blocking you. Get around it again and I’m changing numbers. Now good fucking bye.”

I feel like my life is over and that I don’t want to be here anymore.
Jenni

August 16, 2014 at 8:18 pm

Alright ignore that last comment. I was at the beach today writing (I found last night that writing helps me) and the whole time, I had a feeling he would text me. L

I got home and started to play some video games for a dew hours and when I checked my phone, he had sent me 3 texts. I am so happy. He said he wants me back when his lease is up. 🙂
Jenni

August 15, 2014 at 3:21 pm

I’m afraid he will never talk to me again. He is the love of my life. 🙁 I’m so hurt. I’ve lost 5 pounds in 2 days from not eating and stress.
admin

August 18, 2014 at 12:15 pm

First things first, you need to take care of yourself before anything.
Jenni

August 14, 2014 at 12:53 pm

He only did it one time, and I kept asking for like 4 days. I was in my denial phase, I guess. They never slept together BTW. He said he wanted to take it slow. I would really like your insight.
Jenni

August 13, 2014 at 11:32 pm

I’m really afraid that the no contact rule won’t work with my ex. He is stubborn and has a type of bi polar and has depression, which makes him anti social anyway. He has a gf now, but I don’t see it lasting long at all. But if he really does end it with her, or wants to end it with her, and he texts me feeling suicidal (which he normally does tell me when he feels like that), how do I handle that if I do the no contact rule? I told him I would always be there for him if he’s having those thoughts. He means too much to me for me to ignore a suicide plan.
Jenni

August 15, 2014 at 11:03 am

I am in a major panic mode. He still won’t talk to me. I’m starting to have certain thoughts that I’m afraid to have.

Taylor Clark

August 13, 2014 at 9:56 pm

so I did the 30 day no contact rule with my ex, and long story short we started talking again. I asked him to spend the night, and he did. he is always there when I need him. but that night he told me he likes this girl. then told me he thinks him and I should be best friends. But that night we kissed and he held me and told me he will always be here for me no matter what, and he told me “best friends don’t do this so what are we?” and I said I don’t know and he said we could be anything and I told him I don’t want to put a label on it. I text him every day, and he replies but he doesn’t really seem like he wants to talk. what should I do?

admin

August 14, 2014 at 12:28 pm

So, let me get this straight.

You invite him over…

He comes, tells you he likes another girl and then kisses you?

That’s weird… on his part.

He must not like this girl very much becuase (no offense to you) it’s extremely disrespectful to her.

Edith Orbigoso

August 13, 2014 at 2:47 pm

I’m very happy i found this web site it’s giving me hope to get my boyfriend back.but, I want to learn more.

admin

August 14, 2014 at 11:06 am

What would you like to learn more about?

Evonne

August 13, 2014 at 1:54 pm

My ex broke up with me in May. He had new relationship after that and he and his current gf looks happy tgt. But i really wanna him back…i have applied NC for almost one month. i wonder if NC works for me in this situation?

admin

August 14, 2014 at 11:00 am

It can be effective in this situation. I would give it a try.

Shannon

August 13, 2014 at 11:42 am

Hey Chris (replying here from another thread) and responding to your questions about our age and what I’d do if I get another chance:

My ex is 36 (the rebound is 29)… Yeah, alot of people don’t believe it when we say the “dog got between us”. But believe it or not, it’s common for dog TRAINERS to hear. It’s definitely fixable but requires some behavioral training and I still plan to get it done.

The new girl is an ‘attention whore’, she’s insecure and she tries to play the victim. But we all (family, friends, myself) see right through her. She’s one of the main reasons for this situation. We don’t excuse him either but she didn’t respect he was in a relationship, she broke the “girl code” and she took advantage of his vulnerability, etc…

Good question (yours – at the end)… If the opportunity to get back together happens, I guarantee it won’t be that simple. He needs to earn my trust, first. I’m not the type to hold grudges so if it came to a point to discuss what happened, I’d hope that he would man up and take accountability for what happened. I wouldn’t want to ask, I’d want him to be comfortable enough to ‘want’ to tell me. When he does, I’ll ‘thank him’ and tell him “ok, let’s just move on from this and never bring up the past and focus on a much stronger and better future together.” People make mistakes and although there’s no excuse for what he did, he HAS apologized. But like I said, I wouldn’t just take him back… He’d pretty much have to ‘date me all over again’ and then I could decide whether or not I trust him enough to have a new relationship. If I didn’t believe that what we had and what we are together was worth a second chance, I wouldn’t even bother. I am a firm believer of “if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it”. But for some reason, I believe this “break” was meant to happen so that I could learn from the mistakes I made in our (last) relationship and so that he could, as well… Also, he needed to experience this rebound, because she is nothing but temptation in many forms. He needs to realize that grass isn’t as green as he thought and that he had the BEST girlfriend he could ever have (me). :0)

And if we don’t get that second chance, it clearly wasn’t meant to be… But I believe we were.

He isn’t as difficult as he HAS been during this relationship. Like I said, we ALL see it and he’s NOT himself around her.

Since my last upsetting message to you (about the threat of marriage), he DID see the photo of me and my hot, guy friend and actually made a comment, LIKED the photo and a couple days later, went back to my profile and liked the comment my guy friend made (weird)? So he WAS jealous, wasn’t he? :0)

The latest (as of 8/6) is I talked to one of his BFFs and she said he said (when she asked about me) “She seems to be doing really well and she’s apparently dating some dude”. (I’m not, of course – he just assumed from the photo). Also, because it’s been over 30 days NC, I figured it was ok to ease back in contact with him. So I messaged him on FB (instead of text), only because SHE is always around him and she doesn’t regulate his FB like she does his text msgs… I was creative, but casual… Thanked him for something he dropped off (that I wanted) weeks ago… He replied about an hour later with “No problem”… I initiated some casual convo with him while being light-hearted and “fun”… He’s been replying back right away. He mentioned he was gonna be out of town for another month (because they were supposed to go to Hawaii) but due to the weather, they ended up coming back ‘home’ this past Monday.

He and I have been messaging back and forth and quite a bit in the past day. He mentioned how he doesn’t remember how long it’s been since we’ve even talked (because it’s been well over 30-45 days of NC/LC) and I suppose he appreciated “talking” again (since we were friends for over a decade, etc.). So my reply last night was casual but somewhat ‘flirty’ – I was myself and he had mentioned how he isn’t crazy about eating healthier (as he had been with her) and was craving burgers lol He also said “I can tell you’ve lost weight”. (I wasn’t a cow but was thick and have lost about 15-20 lbs since the breakup, improving myself, etc.). So I just mentioned how I was eating healthier and said I hadn’t had a burger in months and ended my reply with “Maybe we could meet up and grab one, some time…”

His reply seemed like maybe he had been drinking because it wasn’t as fluid as his other responses (and I saw on his Instagram that he was out at a lounge). LOL He said “Losing a friend is always hard. How are things with your new guy?”

Please don’t tell me I’ve been “friend zoned” :0( He was the one that was initially asking me more questions (I was keeping some mystery and being brief with my answers earlier in our messages. I had changed jobs and he asked if I was still at the old place. I said I wasn’t and that I had a new job. I wanted him to ‘ask’ me where I was working vs me volunteering that info. Well, he asked where I worked and I told him, etc.). I don’t know what to do or say at this point. He’s still with that girl… He didn’t respond to my suggestion about ‘meeting up for burgers’… My BFF thinks things ARE going in the right direction and I AM “playing the right cards, etc.”. I dunno though… I DID use a nostalgic text/message prior to yesterday’s convo and got an immediate response and light-hearted response from him. What now? Thanks!!!

[Email me so we can discuss you being on my show…Would love that! I am sure alot of peeps can benefit from you and your website because you’re awesome! We have 2 other stations and one or both of them may want to also feature you. :0) Hit me up! And thank you!]

admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Hi Shannon!

I am so glad to hear back from you.

Yes, the dog story is kind of bizarre but I guess I can understand it if the dog is that territorial.

I am proud of you for improving yourself, you’ll find that a lot of people struggle with that.

Defintely a little jealous of your guy friend. Hopefully your pictures with this guy friend weren’t too racy.

I wouldn’t say you have been friend zoned completely. I just think it may take a little more time for him to realize that the grass isn’t as green on the other side as much as he thinks.

I am going to email you now about the show!

Stacey

August 12, 2014 at 9:17 pm

So…My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. I really let my emotions take over. I called and texted until he became really mean and told me he would never come back. So, I stopped contacting him and one day I ran across some pictures he and I taken and emailed them to him. He started contacting me and saying he wanted to start over and take it slow. We went on our 1st lunch date since the break up. It didn’t end too well because we still had underlying issues that haven’t been resolved. He then told me that he didn’t want to get back with me anymore and that he has been dating a girl and now interested in pursuing. So now they are dating and he says he is really happy. He told me that he would never get back with me because of my emotions and all the calling and texting. It really crushed me because before this…he asked my dad for my hand in marriage in May. He said that he’s glad he didn’t make that mistake and that Im not the one. Is he really gone. What should I do? Is there any way to recover from this?

admin

August 13, 2014 at 2:01 pm

He asked your dad to marry you and he never popped the question?
Stacey

August 13, 2014 at 2:08 pm

No, we broke up a couple of weeks after he spoke to my dad.

jaylin

August 12, 2014 at 8:05 pm

My ex and I were best friends and first and he went after me for 4 months and it took me another few months to accept him. We’re really close and he saved me from getting bullied and we had an amazing love story. It was all good until he started hiding things from me. After 3 months from the breakup he got a new girl which he barely knew and the girl likes him too. I was told he still thinks of me when he’s alone so he spends a lot of time with her. Its been 6 months after the break and I don’t know how to get him back or make him wants to get us back.

admin

August 13, 2014 at 1:58 pm

He sounds young and immature to me.

Kristi

August 11, 2014 at 7:25 pm

Long story short, my boyfriend of three years left me two months ago. I kept trying to initiate the no contact rule, but he kept contacting me. I finally told him that if he needed space, to take it, but that also meant not contacting me until he has figured out what he wants. Aside from talking at work on the weekends and a couple of necessary text messages, we haven’t talked. In the past two weeks, he has been acting like life is a dream and everything is wonderful which makes me worry that he is currently dating another woman (this would be woman number two since he left). Do you think this is another rebound? Do you think that there is still hope?

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:55 am

I think he is really unhappy if he keeps jumping from girl to girl lik ethat.
Kristi

August 12, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Thank you so very much…that’s kindof what I was hoping for. So then do you believe that there is still a chance?
admin

August 13, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Theres a chance yes but look, a chance doesn’t mean you are going to get him back, you know?
Kristi

August 13, 2014 at 3:59 pm

I do know that there is no certainty that things will work out. I have hope they will and I’ll do whatever is in my control to make it work out, but I am aware that it may not happen. It’s just nice to know that there is still a possibility.
Kristi

August 13, 2014 at 2:48 pm

I know that there is no certainty that things will work out. I hope they will and I am doing what I can to make it a possibility…starting with no contact (although this has proven difficult since we have been working together) and taking care of myself.

ann rogers

August 5, 2014 at 3:09 am

My fiance of six years met a Russian woman out jogging and within 4months she seduced, exposed and moved into his beautiful house(she was living in a share house)with pool, he is very well off fiananically, she is after a permanant residentance visa and his money. We are in our late 50’s my fiancee is not a womanizing man and had always appeared happy in our relationship, but he is smitten can’t believe his luck, and doesn’t see her agenda. They have been together about 5mths.
He says I’ll always be his best friend no matter what, I did the no contact for 2 and half months and he just texted me about he daughter’s sport event. I answered nicely and happy for him. He return answered my text. What should I do next? I don’t want to be friend zoned?

ann rogers

August 7, 2014 at 4:49 am

Would you class his new relationship as a rebound??
Ann Rogers
admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:20 am

Your situation is really weird… I think is more like a midlife crisis type of deal.
ann rogers

August 12, 2014 at 4:29 pm

I think it is unusual too, especially when it was a good relationship. I’m feeling that she may be some type of a scam artist. Do you think that your advice may not be appicable in my situation. Ann
admin

August 13, 2014 at 1:49 pm

I think you should check out the updated version of this guide and try some of my theories in there.
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:32 pm

Yet he leaves you for this girl?

How long were you engaged to him for?
ann rogers

August 7, 2014 at 4:45 am

We were engaged for five years and we were happy he always reassured me he loved me, we were to marry this year and go to Europe for a long awaited holiday. I feel he has been totally and unexpectedly seduced. He has admitted that it is not in his character to do something like this but he has. But she is some piece of work disquised as candy.
Is there any advice you can give me, I know he will keep in contact if I want him to, as he still enjoys my company, we are very compatible.
Ann Rogers
admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:17 am

Do you think you’d ever be able to forgive him for this if you were going to be able to get back together.

Maryanne

July 28, 2014 at 1:26 pm

Hi with kids involved I limited contact, this weekend with a conference in his city, he suggested catching up, turned Into a fabulous weekend of all the things we did when we first met 20 years ago,he couldn’t stop talking about how I looked we had so much fun,but keeps insisting I pack up and move to Sydney where his new job will be, not with him tho? he txt me after I left with more compliments I thanked him for a great weekend , commented on Facebook, then sent more messages at 7am about moving, what does he want? I ignored him all day he even sent a hi sexy text. Should I limit contact or start working on booking him?, keeping in mind he has a new girlfriend he says he won’t leave, don’t know what she did all weekend while he was with me, and I don’t think he is asking her to move in with him in Sydney,what should I do?

admin

July 28, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Have you read the updated version of this page?
Maryanne

July 28, 2014 at 10:18 pm

Version 02 yes , what’s your opinion on him insisting I move to be near him all of a sudden?
admin

July 29, 2014 at 7:50 pm

Tell me what you think it means?

I don’t think its a bad sign at all haha.
Maryanne

July 29, 2014 at 10:21 pm

I think right now he sends me xx text everyday everytime I see one I cry, so I think what I “think” will likely be me. Wanting it to mean something it doesn’t ,asking me to change my life including schools job taking a loan is huge if its not as a family.is it a test? Is it so he can just see his kids and me and still keep his new gf who makes him so happy.? I simply can’t figure out what he is thinking .
admin

July 30, 2014 at 3:05 pm

I have a feeling he wants to to see the kids, you and also keep the gf at this point…
Maryanne

July 30, 2014 at 9:38 pm

Well that’s not really ok is it? I deserve better than third wheel,how do I best increase my value at this point so he sees both isn’t an option? I’m not another GF I’m still his wife for 18 years !
admin

August 4, 2014 at 2:05 pm

You cut him out for a little bit.

P.S. I totally agree that you should hold more value if you have been together that long.
Maryanne

August 5, 2014 at 12:12 am

I’m trying NC, only three days each morning I get the have a great day how are those moving plans progressing type stuff , yesterday I got a bold RUOk?? I’m not answering, he sent my 11year old a message about seeing her this weekend so I will have to see him to deliver them not sure how to best deal with that
Maryanne

August 6, 2014 at 7:13 pm

No I meant I have been doing for 5 days now, every morning he messages me he’s trying to call leaving voice mail, I have to see him on Saturday to deliver my kids, if I’m doing NC how do I best handle that ?mx
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:24 pm

You are supposed to do NC ALL DAY not just the morning.
Maryanne

July 29, 2014 at 12:19 am

Ok this morning I get this as a follow up to “hi sexy”text yesterday
“Wasn’t an accident, was just thinking of you dancing when I sent that, and I’m not leading you on.
… so, any news about the Job, loan, etc” so? NC or another tactic?
Maryanne

July 28, 2014 at 10:11 pm

I’m not sure where I find another version of this page does it have another name ?
admin

July 29, 2014 at 7:51 pm

Its V2.0 of this.

Louisa

July 23, 2014 at 10:48 am

Hi,
My ex and I broke up back in December (after a one and a half year relationship and 2 years and a half talking) and since then we’ve stayed in touch. I did the no contact twice for 1 month each time and decided after that I would not initiate contact because I could not read him and it was hurting me to not know what to expect. Instead I would only answer his messages or emails if and when he writes to me. He’s been getting in touch on different occasions and sometimes regularly but he is sending mixed signals by blocking me and then unblocking me on different sites, writing to me and then not answering etc. He has a girlfriend now that he is public about but he still writes to me and sends me pictures of himself without ever mentioning his new girlfriend.
I can’t figure out what he wants. I know that he still thinks about me but is he just looking for attention or is it a way of telling me something…? I’m not sure how to react and what I should tell him. Should I confront him about his girlfriend..?
I hope you can help me out here. Many thanks.

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:50 pm

What kind of pictures does he send?

Intimate ones or just regular ones?

drish

July 2, 2014 at 7:08 pm

Hey I had a relationship of 6 months I got serious for him..n he too showed that he was damn serious ..n it got my hopes high I started seeing my future with him..but later he broke up saying that we belong to different different religion n his parents would not accept it..bt I later found out that he was double dating and was in love with someone else..n in between I found him cheated but excused him every time..n now aftr 6 months he came back saying sorry BT he just wants my friendship n nothing else..he is dating another girl now 🙁 n I want him back don’t know wht to do

« Previous 1 … 32 33 34 35 36 … 67 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”