There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.

 Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?

seems legit

If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:

  • “I miss him”
  • “He is the best I will ever date”
  • “I don’t want to be alone”

are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.

By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.

Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You


As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:

  • The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
  • You don’t appreciate me
  • I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
  • You Cheated On Them

The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse

its not you its me

Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:

  • They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
  • Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
  • His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.

I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.

You Didn’t Appreciate Him

not appreciated

Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.

Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)

dont wannt talk about it

I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.

You Cheated On Them

A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.

If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.

The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

What to Read Next

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1,310 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

  1. Avatar


    June 27, 2020 at 8:56 am

    Hi. I was with my ex just over two years and we even have a child together. He left 8 weeks ago first blaming it on his mental health and telling me he needs to get better before we can be a family and couple again. He lead me on in the 8 weeks by telling me he still wanted me, loved me and kissing me etc when he saw me. But then I found out he’d been messaging his ex and also using tinder. Two weeks ago he ended up telling me ‘too much’ has happened between us since he moved out so we can’t be back together ever again apparently. Even though he had sex with me last Saturday!? I used to text him begging for him every single day and when I’d see him I’d beg too. It’s not been until the last week or so I’m not texting him even tho I really want too. Have I lost him for good or will he have his fun and want to come back? Because he did tell me he loves me and misses me still just knows we shouldn’t be together and it’s for the best he says. He’s all I think about every day and I cry so much over missing him it’s horrible.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 27, 2020 at 7:38 pm

      Hi Beth it sounds as if you need to start following this program so that you can re set the dynamics of your situation as well as show yourself that you are worth more than what he is giving you right now. Following a limited no contact where you only speak with him about visitations with your child or any emergencies regarding the child.

  2. Avatar


    June 24, 2020 at 3:23 am

    We dated for about 7 months. Continued to see each other and was like we were basically together for another 2 after. He said he has feelings for me, but that he doesn’t have the same feelings I have. He said he always felt like our relationship was in question, and that he never felt things progressed to a level where he felt comfortable or completely happy. He said the last few months he had been feeling that way. That he wanted it to work because I am a good woman, but he isn’t going to stay with someone just because they are good to him. *He is 38 years old and his longest relationship was 1.5 years. Not sure with all he told me if things can change. We always had a good time together. Physical part great. Lots of laughs. No real fights. He said “something is missing with us” “something isn’t connecting” and he doesn’t see a point in trying/dragging things out. Do you think there’s even a chance? I’m not really sure where the disconnect is because I always had a great time with him and it seemed he did too.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 26, 2020 at 11:09 pm

      Hey Re, so he is saying there is something missing then you need to use that information about your ex and what he finds interesting and attractive in a person use this to work on your Ungettable and Holy Trinity to show him that you are the best he is ever going to get. Be sure that while you are following your NC that you stick with it while using social media to show how great you are doing without him in your life

  3. Avatar


    May 29, 2020 at 8:22 pm

    My boyfriend ended things with but now we not in a relationship we are living together with our kid. I love him but he says he doesnt have feelings for me but he wants sex what should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 29, 2020 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Alusha, 100% do not sleep with him under no circumstances. Do not fall into a friends with benefits. Read and follow the rules of limited no contact

  4. Avatar


    May 19, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    Hi, so I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months. However for the last 2 we have been in lockdown so haven’t been able to have any physical contact, although we have been calling most days which was working fine. Government guidelines said 2 people could meet up at a social distance so my boyfriend suggested we go for a walk. Whilst in this walk he broke down crying preaching his love for me but he felt there wasn’t a ‘spark’ anymore and wanted to end it. He initially said he wanted to take a break then later decided it would be too unfair on me so wanted to break up. We sat at cried and talk for hours then eventually had to leave as it was too much for me. I feel really confused and don’t know it it’s just the lack of physical contact that’s making him feel this way. This only happened 3 day’s ago so don’t want to contact him too soon

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 8:18 pm

      Hi Molly you need to complete a 30 day No Contact as he has ended the relationship

  5. Avatar


    May 8, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. He left me I was a mess i called him a lot of times a day that I was drunk and he blocked me. After he blocked me I got it into my head that he was a mean jerk and was okay with never talking to him again. After a few days he unblocked me and texted me something about our dog that we shared. I was so confused, If you had blocked me why did you unblock me to just tell me something about our dog. After this I was a mess for a couple of days because of the confusion. He broke up with me because he said that he was not happy with the relationship, but honestly he has changed his mind of why he left me a lot of times. Obviously I am so confused and honestly mad at him for doing this to me.

  6. Avatar


    April 29, 2020 at 8:07 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 3 years 24 days ago. He is my first serious boyfriend. He had some two girlfriends but it didn’t last long – about month or two in both cases. He said he doesn’t love me after I had rough day and called him at night and cried and he didn’t know what to say. He said that he has been feeling like that for some time. I think that he felt overwhelmed with me being so emotional from time to time he is that type of guy that doesn’t worry at all and he isn’t showing any feelings when I’m talking about them a lot.
    We had a great relationship I think, we split a year ago because he started talking with some girl but said he was stupid and he we got back. I had some trust issues but he was working hard to make me feel good again. From that time we had a really good relation. We were having a good time even tho we weren’t seeing each other a lot because of my university and his football games.
    I did contact him after he broke up even tho I agreed to his decision because at that time I was in shock and I thought that I can’t force him to love me. But now I miss him so much and I think we can work through that. I understood that I was too emotional sometimes, blaming it on him and making big deals out of small things. I understand he had enough. It’s my 6th day of no contact. He said he wanted to keep in touch and have contact with me and that he is sorry and grateful for everything we had but it’s better for us to be apart. What should I do next? Sorry for the chaotic message but I’m all in my feels and English isn’t my first language.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 1, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      Hi Olivia, I would say that while you are doing a No Contact your main goal is to learn some emotional control and how and when to express feelings. Read articles about the Holy Trinity and work on being the best version of yourself.

  7. Avatar


    April 28, 2020 at 5:38 am

    Hello! So my ex broke up with me because he said that he is not where he wants to be in his life at the moment( he means like job wise). He’s only 22 and feels like he needs to have everything put together and because he doesn’t it really bothers him. Before we dated we were together with out a label for a while because we both wanted to focus on ourselves and not be in a relationship but then our feelings grew more and more so we dated. He now feels like we rushed things and I agree it wasn’t all bad it was actually good most of the time. While we were breaking up he told me he still wants to see me and talk to me and just not rush into anything. But I am not sure what that entirely means. I love him with everything in me and want to grow with him through all of the good and all of the bad even if that means I have to do it from a distance. But I really want things to have another chance between us. I feel like we bring out the best in each other and I don’t want to throw it all away.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 5, 2020 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Sara, it sounds as if your ex is looking for more of a causal friends with benefits situation than an actual relationship. If you want to be in a relationship then you need to follow a NC and work on yourself during that time, then start the texting phase to reconnect with your ex and get him investing into you rather than thinking he can have the best of both worlds

  8. Avatar


    April 22, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    So, me and my ex had a relationship for almost 4 months. He had a relation before this and so did i. He had a relation for 4months and i had for 3years. I was teen and got into relationship. My first ex Didn’t had a good career and he often misbehaved with me. So i left him. And about my recent ex, his first relation broke up due to betrayal. Somehow we both got into relationship after two years of our consecutive break up. I love him so much. I did Everything he said. But he was never satisfied. When he got to know i had made out with my first ex and i left him for his career, he Didn’t take it nicely. My past had a negative impact on him. He always told if i could leave my ex even after having 3years old relationship, i could leave him too. But i assured him that i wouldn’t because i love him so much. He would always be sad that he was never anyone’s first love. He would break up with me every now and then and the next day he would say sorry. I would always take him back. But recently he said awful things to me and blaims me for everything and broke up with me. He called two days later. I Didn’t receive. He texted in wapp that he Didn’t feel bad leaving me and it was best decision and i would be happy so no need to worry. After 3days, he called me for 17 times and texted me to text him for 5 minutes. I Didn’t. Then he texted that i would get the same silent treatment from him if i try to contact him. I Didn’t reply either. I do love him even after all the things he has done to me. I want him back. Please give me some tips what to do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 10:38 am

      Hey Anna, so the first few things you need to do is follow a No Contact rule where you work on yourself and follow the rules to become Ungettable and the Holy Trinity, then reach out to your ex using a text that Chris suggests to get your ex talking where you end the conversation first and make sure that you do not speak about the past relationship, the break up or getting back together.

  9. Avatar


    April 19, 2020 at 2:52 pm


    Thankbyou for your article.

    My ex broke up with me a week after valentine’s day this year after dating him a few months. He said for me that I shouldn’t feel bad because he is in a bad space (It could be he has been through really bad relationships while he was studying and never got the chance to work on himself), he is following his gut to let me go and that I made such an amazing impact on him.
    I have been very talkative a week after the breakup, I was so in love with this man, I wasn’t ready to let go and I didn’t think clearly. Out of desperation I asked for his friendship, which I should have. I wish I came across this article earlier, because I feel I might have acted a bit needy after a month of talking him. I did some research and started the no contact. I am in 23 days of nc. I have been constantly trying to work on myself and it was really hard is it is lockdown. I have done some research it’s best to send an “elephant in room text” after nc and then leave him for another 2 weeks.
    This was the first person I felt so safe to open up to and trusted, we were been so happy together. I honestly feel I have been the best lover/partner/friend to him and I did the best for him.


  10. Avatar


    April 15, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because I became very depressed and suicidal and he couldn’t deal with it anymore, I have changed and I have gotten the proper help I need and no longer feel this way, I love him so much and don’t know what to do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 18, 2020 at 4:28 pm

      Hi Emmaline, I am so glad you went to seek help with your feelings, if you are feeling strong in yourself and you have not spoken to your ex in over 45 days then you can start the texting phase. But again I would suggest that you are emotionally prepared for how at times he may not be open to talking to you if at all

  11. Avatar


    April 10, 2020 at 4:17 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me with the excuse “its him not me”. I ignored him couple of dahs and he kept sending me wanting to be friends. Then I talked to him letting everything out of heart and he kept apologizing about how he hurt me. I miss him so much and I still want him back but Im afraid when I call him he will still say that he doesnt want the relationship now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 18, 2020 at 12:49 pm

      Hi Joanne, you need to stick to a No Contact of 45 days as you have been emotional and use this time to work on your Holy Trinity and become Ungettable. While your ex feels like he does not want to be in a relationship allow him this time to be without you in his life. If you want to be with him then you can not be friends at the moment. And it is not fair for him to expect you to just instantly go to being friends when you just broke up that will take time.

  12. Avatar


    March 22, 2020 at 4:47 am

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me saying his parents won’t approve our relationship. He didn’t even try to talk to his parents about our relationship. He didn’t try to convince his parents. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 23, 2020 at 11:26 pm

      Hi P so if your ex is not willing to fight for your relationship and is willing to walk away then it shows his investment in the relationship. You need to work the Ungettable and show your ex what he is missing out on by not being in a relationship with you.

  13. Avatar


    March 17, 2020 at 11:12 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me today actually and I’m not sure what to think or do, it was completely out of the blue. He told me it was because of our age difference (I’m 19 and he’s 26) and the fact that he wants kids in 4 years and a house in 5 but I still have school to finish. We have been together long enough that we have had many conversations about this and I have always been the one wanting kids in 4 years with him saying he would wait 10 years if it meant we were 100% ready and in the financial place to have children. I’m beyond confused because I just spent a month abroad and our relationship was great, no problems and now that I’ve been back I haven’t been able to see him and this is the phone call I get this morning. Last week we were talking about wedding colours and moving in together and what our future would look like. I’m not sure what the next steps should be for me as I’m not ready for this to end, this was never me looking through rose coloured glasses thinking something unrealistic would work but for some reason now he thinks it’s not going to go the distance. Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Alex, I would say that you can go into a No Contact and give you both some space, hopefully this is just him getting scared now you are home and things can start taking shape. Work on yourself during your no contact to follow the holy trinity information and to become the ungettable girl

  14. Avatar


    March 10, 2020 at 11:13 pm


    I am currently on day 14 of no contact and I was with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we long talked about marriage and having children. He broke up with me around 2 months ago and started dating new girl within 2-3 weeks after we split. He claimed it was because we had a toxic relationship and that he loved me up until the moment I left (of which he asked me to, of which he refuses to admit). We have been talking on and off in these past few months all of which have ended badly. Do you think there is still potential for us?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 12, 2020 at 1:24 pm

      Hi Claire so your ex is in a rebound relationship and at this point they are going to be in the honey moon phase where no matter what you say to him he is not going to take on board what you are saying. If you want to give it your best chance follow the 45 day no contact rule and then start the being there method. You will need to read the articles that apply to your situation so that you can follow the process properly.

  15. Avatar


    March 9, 2020 at 12:11 am

    Hi. My boyfriend of four years broke up with me after a month long of what he addresses as “cool off”. He told me through chat that he’d like to break up but would also like to talk in person (probably to be polite). It started with him having issues with himself lately and tells me he doesn’t want to drag me with him. I didn’t understand it but I gave him the time he needs. All of a sudden during my silence, he lashed out on me for spending time with his guy friend (but only at the university). I think this is very insensitive because he can’t even treat me like a girlfriend in public yet he wants me to sit like a dog he ordered to sit (please note that he only saw me and his guy friend walking in the hallway). He’s making me very confused because in front of his family, we’re okay and he even calls me with our endearment but in front of friends, he would act reserved. This is the second time he’s broken up with me. I’m really hurt but I really love him. I value his feelings and would like for him to find himself. He also told a lot of our mutual friends that I can never be replaced. Can this relationship still work? Thank you for responding!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 2:15 am

      Hi Jan, yes I think it can but you are going to have to follow the advice, starting with a No Contact working on yourself and working past the break up. Reach out at the end of your 30 days NC with a text that Chris suggests

  16. Avatar

    Juve Tajom

    February 17, 2020 at 5:10 am

    Hi I’m juve

    My boyfriend broke up with me after we had a argue and said don’t contact me again! 2 days now he block me everywhere! What should I do please
    It’s hurting me a lot he broke up me by msg not in person.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 17, 2020 at 10:21 am

      Hey Juve, so you have to spend some time in No Contact, even if you were not blocked you need to stay silent to let emotions calm and let your ex have the chance to miss you. Read the articles on this website about No Contact and make sure you are working on yourself in that time

  17. Avatar

    Rena Blakely

    February 5, 2020 at 7:21 pm

    I want him back but he has cut off all contact with like blocking me on his cell phone. He has told me not to contact him no matter what. We had a 16 year relationship it was complicated i wont lie. I just want to try and make things work between him and I. i know where we went wrong, we didn’t spend enough time together and the communication wasn’t always the greatest. Plus i think he grew away from me because we weren’t living together anymore since he said he was unhappy in the house that i had brought. How do i get him to open up to me when he wants no contact from me? i haven’t messaged him in 9 days so i have started the no contact rule.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 6, 2020 at 10:13 pm

      Hey Rina 16 years is a long time for a relationship so know that you wnating to speak to him and finding it hard to stick to a No Contact is hard. So make sure you distract yourself when you feel liek you’re going to break. Stick to a 45 day no contact and work on yourself in that time, as he is going to know you are goign to be upset you need to try and give the impression that you are doing great. Working on yourself and doing the work during no contact is going to improve your chances of him wanting to speak with you again eventually but dont expect it to be how it used to be, you are going to have to grow as people if you want to try and get him back

  18. Avatar


    January 21, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    My ex broke up with me completely out of the blue a week ago for the second time. The first time, we were arguing more frequently so it wasn’t quite a surprise, but this time there was no arguing prior to and we had just had a wonderful trip 2 days before. He also said for the first time since getting back together that he loved me 3 days prior. I also checked in no more than two weeks before to see if he was certain he wanted this or if he would rather be friends and he said I had nothing to be afraid of and that he wasn’t going anywhere. When we finally talked in person after the breakup, every issue he had was an easy fix if he had communicated the problems, but I had no idea he was feeling those things. Then he said he wants space, but he’s still sending the occasional Snapchat and such (I haven’t been responding to maintain my end of no contact). Last time, he came back after 2 weeks of no contact and said he wanted to be friends and work towards a relationship, which only lasted two weeks. Since the situation feels like deja by, what are the odds he comes back again? We both love each other and have been friends for 3 years, so I don’t want to lose him all together and would be fine with being friends, but I don’t understand why he would keep making plans (including on the day he broke up with me) for the future if he doesn’t see one?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 8:46 pm

      Hi Cassie, so I would say it is likely he will attempt to come back again, but you need to be stronger with your No Contact and now allow him back when he feels like it. Keep in mind each time you restart no contact it loses its effectiveness on your ex. Work on being Ungettable and your social life with friends, post to social media, but ignore his texts and calls for at LEAST 30 days. Hes making future plans… because he knows he has you if he wants you.

  19. Avatar


    January 19, 2020 at 12:58 am

    I have a question:
    I dated a man (45 yo, never married) for 2 years (I am 8, divorced, two kids). We are both highly educated and busy with work. He has high ambitions and calling for his high-profile job and works 90-100 hrs + a week. He said he is very serious about me, loves me and kids, but he said it takes time and did not want to propose. Sadly I was not very patient and started to argue, also asking him to take at least one weekend day off work a month. It did not happen and out of sudden his appointment hours increased and he had to spend even more time but it is possible for the job to decrease if he is successful in certain other areas of his career, on which he has to work very hard as it is not where it is supposed to be. I need to add that we do collaborate together also and I actually was instrumental in helping him. After all that happened, he broke up with me, saying he cannot keep me happy and I need someone better. After two months of thinking, I realized our connection was so strong, that I can tolerate his work and other things, and can get other support (cleaning lady, spend more time with friends, etc). I had a difficult marriage (physical violence) and he is extremely trustworthy and has wonderful character. Kids love him. I truly felt I can trust him and I cannot easily find it. He was open to meetings with me. He loves me, he says, and he actually gave me many hugs, kissed me on the head, and send gifts for me and kids. One night we even spent in an embrace, but he said we cannot take it any further because he is scared it is not fair to me as he cannot make any promises because of the difficulties at the job . I can feel his love but I also see that his job situation is extremely difficult and will be till any change comes, but I also see he is killing himself. He barely sleeps and often sleeps in hospital where he works, he sounds drained and looks unhealthy. Normal cannot person cannot sustain this… Is there a chance for us? What to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 1:51 pm

      Hey Ana, it sounds as if your guy is super busy and knows that he can not give you the relationship you want, even if you are willing to accept that this is how a relationship with him would be, it will be a case of you following the program and being less available to him, showing that you are socialising with friends and living your life with the children. Complete a NO Contact and reach out to him, but you are going to have to show extreme patience in regards to how long it takes him to reply to you and you need to attempt to match his response time

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    January 7, 2020 at 9:09 am

    Hi me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years it was such a strong and intense connection that we had and we couldn’t ever see ourselves without each other. We were so in love and we had both never felt about another person this way. I definitely felt like we were soulmates, but the reason he broke it off with me is apparently I get too upset over the little things, like say him going out partying and not coming home to me when I would stay at his house or say him playing games when I would want to spend some time with him it was just small trivial issues I guess but we would always get over them. Apparently he thought we clashed too much but I thought most couples always had things they didn’t agree on Cleary it affects him and took me by surprise when he broke it off, I felt so heartbroken and we both cried in each other’s arms. He said he doesn’t want to do this but feels it’s for the best. We haven’t seen each other then since 7 days but I can’t stop messaging him, he sent me a bit goodbye message and saying he hopes to cross paths when we are both in better circumstances, I’m going through hard family issues and he wants to focus on himself. He said maybe it’s best trying in the future and mentioned something about maybe trying again in a years time he said he wouldn’t promise me we would get back together though I am completely heart broken and shattered I feel so alone and he was also my safety blanket to escape my family problems he was such a big help and now I’m in such a bad environment and reality has sunk in that we won’t be together anymore. He has some many distractions that I feel would make him
    Move on easily and I don’t really have any i don’t want to wait around for a year to see if we would get back together because that’s such a long time! I don’t want this at all and I’m worried he will find somebody else but he tells me he wouldn’t because he had his fun before me and just wants to focus on himself! What should I do? 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 14, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      Hi Kate, so you need to complete some time in No Contact, working on yourself – Look up Ungettable. Read as many articles that apply to your situation as you can and use that information to improve your life where you can. As for having issues with the family, if you can find a way to support yourself, going to friends for the break from your conflicts with them and focus on what is going to make you happy.

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