Why Men Fall Out Of Love With You- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

146 thoughts on “Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You”

My Honey

November 11, 2015 at 3:21 am

Im in my most frustrating period of my life now. I have a bf but, he said he’s not sure if he still loves me or is he just convincing hiself to stay(coz of long term relationship) and he feels that there’s something missing on him. We are now 4years since last october. But we had a problem before, we broke up last year coz he’s fed up with me(we’re on our 3-1/2yrs that time). Then he came back and continued our relationship early this year because he found out that i was falling inlove with another guy and cant bare to see me loving other man. But, after 6mos, i’ve been feeling unwanted by him, he’s not as sweet as we were before (first 3yrs) so, he asked for his space so that he could have time to think and realize if the feelings are still there so, I gave him 2 weeks. Then, we met again last sunday and before we had a talk, we went to a park to view some beautiful sceneries. Yeah, we had a date and seems like there’s nothing changed on how he acts on me (not being irritated/uncomfortable). And he’s the first one who hold my hands while we’re walking. Then, after that date, i initiated our conversation about our status. But until then, still, he’s not sure if he still loves me or is he falling out of love. He said, maybe he’s falling out but i asked him why does he still holds my hands and hugs me. He cannot answer me and he told me maybe it’s because of the long period that we had been together that’s why he doesn’t feel irritated when he holds me. But, when he’s talking to me, he told me that he also felt the heavy feelings on his chest (hard feelings for seeing me hurting or seeing my reactions) but he’s not sure if he felt the hurt. He told me maybe he felt hard because he thinks that it’s about the long period that we had invested for each other and not the feelings of love. But he still said he’s not sure of it. He also thinks that maybe, the love he feels for me is now only a constant feelings (because of our long term relationship) or love for a sister/best friend/special person. And told me that he still misses and thinks of me all the time but he thinks that he has changed. A change that he cannot understand to himself. So my world turned down and kept on crying. I talked to him saying maybe he’s just anxious about his feelings to me and told him our beautiful memories in the past, all my plans, dreams and futures with him. i also asked him if he still sees me in his future and if will he get hurt/jealous if i will be with another man, but he’s not sure if he would still feel that. But then he kept on apologizing to me. So, i thought that, that day would be the end of our relationship and told him maybe there’s someone more deserving than him and i have to find another man to forget him, so he asked why, is he not deserving for me? Then he insisted that he’s not yet breaking up with me, instead, to have an additional space/break to think again. So gave him another 2 weeks. He said he will try to revive the feelings. Told me too that he thinks that he doesn’t know if he could find another better/more than like me (as beautiful, as kind and has a pure heart). He was also the one who always hugs me then kisses my forehead while i was crying that time and still calling me honey. Is there a possibility that he still has feelings for me? And if not why does he still holds, hugs and kisses my forehead? Do guys will still do that even if they have been falling out of love with their gf? Btw, he also said that he still cares for me alot. Is it true that when a guy falls out of love, he would feel irritated to do some body contact with his gf and care less for them? Im so confused about his actions with me. we also had our chat conversation yesterday coz i asked him to upload all our old pictures he had on our fb page (to keep them as good memories). And feels like he still likes looking at our pictures together (based on our convo). Please explain to me why he’s still like this. :'(
Trish

November 2, 2015 at 7:41 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend of over 6 years broke the news to me the 10th OCT that he no longer felt the same way about me… we were together since we were 16yrs old.. This came to me as a HUGE SHOCK… I was utterly heartbroken… I did beg and he gave us another week to try work things out..

At the end of this week i felt him pull away and not want to talk to me or say he loved me so the decision was made to break up.

he said he needed time, he was confused, he felt trapped, he said i needed to work on me and get back to my old self and that i cant do that if im with him… at the beginning he said if i was the old happy me he’d take me back in a heartbeat (I got depressed, panic attacks for nothing, clingy and emotionally dependent on him for everything) MY life revolved around HIM!

I since found out he was texting another girl we both work with and had feelings for her – all communication with her has stopped he said she was just a distraction from the bad in our relationship…

He wont allow me to talk about the situation and has asked i only talk about random stuff and to still be friends but when I tried to talk about random things he wouldnt reply after 1 or 2 messages…

I had no contact with him for 4 days then i needed to get some of my most important things off him so we met…. we had a brief conversation i told him i was working on me for me… he said he just wanted to be friends right now and that he cant make any promises he’ll feel different in the future..

now as i mentioned we work together… all his friends in work are ignoring me and talking about the whole thing behind my back… this hurts me more than trying to deal with the breakup…. He watched as one his friends who worked with us tell me he had no time for me atal… i was deeply hurt i just want to work… my ex went to the manager to speak about the situation (my ex is also a Jr Manager) apparntely he said his friend shouldnt be ignoring me and that it was wrong…

he was told i was upset but didnt cmoe to talk to me atal that night i left without seeing him..

I do want to do the NC…but do you think we have hope… we never argued more than 10mins then we’d laugh it off we were so happy i know my depressing behaviour wasnt easy to deal with but he doesnt want to fight for it he wants time alone….

Please Help I do love him but right now I have taken steps to move on but I get panicked at times I’ll regret moving on and i done nothing to get back the good times we had…he was my bestfriend, we spoke everyday, we planned our future together… he said he has felt like this for a long time…atleast 5months 🙁
Meredith

October 4, 2015 at 1:05 am

I love these lesser known articles you post that no one seems to comment on 🙁 to me they’ve helped a lot.
Now I’m going to be conceited here and I say that I don’t believe my ex broke up with me for any of these reasons because we had a good relationship. We fulfilled each other’s needs, had a good sex life,definitely wasn’t a lack of admiration or love, no cheating, and I wouldn’t call myself clingy or high maintenance, I’m pretty laid back really.
I’d constantly be doing things for him that he asked and doing all the typical “womanly” chores around the house.
I’ve heard that the most common reason that people fall out of love are for the same reasons they fell in love with you. Do you know how true this is? And if it is, how would one combat this issue?
Another question, is it possible that a male can fall back into love with you after falling out of love and realistically, what are the chances of this happening?
Obviously some things are never meant to last and we just have to get on with our lives, despite how much we wish we could change things.

Chris Seiter

October 6, 2015 at 4:08 am

ME TOO!

I always like them the best too.

Ppl just like the big commenting type of stuff like NC and how to use text messages.

Could you expand on that common reason theory that you gave. It sounds interesting to me.

Lissy

September 9, 2015 at 2:41 am

So I’ve commented on a couple different articles, because reading your articles helps me clear my head. But you talk about someone who thinks the relationship should be just like the honeymoon phase… and how if they don’t have a lot of relationship experience this is what the guy will think. I can totally see that with my ex, in addition I might have been a little clingy, but I guess my question then is, how can I get him back if he thinks it should be a honey moon phase all the time, or is that something he will have to learn? And how does he learn this, without me losing him to someone else?
Victoria

July 20, 2015 at 9:37 pm

Hi Chris,

I don’t know if you will reply to my comment or not but I recently broke up with my boyfriend (he is 27 and I am 23) on Friday. Everything was going so so great. He told me he saw a future together, he told me that I was the one, and he adored me. I adored him as well. We were so healthy with our communication and allowing for each other to have our own lives but also making sure that we had good quality relationship time. We hit the six month mark and about a few weeks ago he started acting distant and then BOOM! Hits me with, “I am not sure we have a future together anymore”. I was devastated. I backed off of him a little and continued to act happy and supportive towards him. I was hoping this was just a phase and that he would get over whatever was making him feel weird. Well on Friday night he told me that he felt “too content” with me and wasn’t sure why but he felt differently from when we first started dating. He said he loved me but he was confused and that I could stay in a relationship with him but there would probably not be a future. I was crushed. I told him things can’t be a fairy tale forever and that love takes work and effort. Nothing I said changed his mind. So I broke up with him, I couldn’t wait around for him to one day decide he actually did see a future or for him to just be done with the relationship in general. I have been a mess and my best friend told me about your website and your book. So Saturday evening I began implementing the NC rule. Sunday he texted me twice saying he missed me and that this was really hard on him but never once did he say he made a mistake. So now its Monday and I am trying to stay strong. I just don’t know if maybe the honeymoon phase ended with us and he freaked out because things started to feel more normal. He went from telling me that he couldn’t wait to one day give me his last name and writing me four page love letters to telling me out of no where that he just didn’t think or know if we are meant to be. I truly think that he could be the one. I don’t feel infatuated with him and its not all in my head. He has all the qualities I have been looking for in a man, he is so thoughtful and genuine and he made me feel like a princess. He really made me feel like I was the only girl in the world and I have never loved anyone the way I loved him. I just don’t understand what happened, I am truly heartbroken….HELP! If you can and if you have time I would love a response. I can’t tell you how much you have helped me over the last few days. When I feel weak and like I’m going to break I listen to a podcast and it makes me feel bold, like I am a UG. Even if I don’t hear from you, you have still helped me so much. Thanks!
Lilli

June 11, 2015 at 11:38 pm

HI Chris!!
Your site its awesome, it has all kinds of information.
I was in relationship for 5 years and the last year was long distance (new job and wedding plan), everybody told me that LDR never work (im not agree, it depends on the commitment and love). He came for my birthday, we had a fight that day about me being possesive with his time while he was in the city and that i wasn’t in the right place when he “needed me”?, so he broke up with me (2m ago), next day i begged him for an opportunity, he said he loved me but he was disappointed.
I wish him luck and happiness because he is a good person and deserves it, he didnt say a word which dissapointed me (he was in his world, and its ok), i think the reasons were 70% of the above in your page, and that we both are stubborn.
We haven’t talk since that day, i know that being in a LDR is really really very difficult, im dissapointed because he gave up. Maybe we didn’t undestand to each other.
Im not angry, i can not hate him, he is a good person, he is still being a part of me and we had great times together (but i know he doesnt feel that way about me), i dont know if we are going to talk again (im still waiting), and that frustrates me, i don’t even know if that is convenient.

I know your page is to get exboyfriends back, the fact is that i don’t want him back because im scared i will never trust him again, (and i think your page is helping me), i want to be an ungettable girl because of ME, not because of him, i want to move on because i think i deserve more than to be looking for something that maybe at the end doesn’t deserve my energy, it is a log and difficult way but i’ll make it by myself!!!

So i just wanna say thanks for your page, it has humor, seriousness, and commitment, ill give you a 5 star rate!!! =)

PD. I love your CONCEPT of the ungettable girl, boys want what they can’t have, and the fact is that THEY WANT HER. What im not totally agree is how you are putting her on the table, the fact that “ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY” of a good relationship depends 100% on her. I think both parts are responsibles, obviously one more than the other (just a point of view).
If you want to give me some advice i’d appreciate it 😉
L

April 7, 2015 at 1:21 am

i realize now from reading this that my choice in partners (a man 4 years younger who had little relationship experience) set me up for this heartbreak I am experiencing right now when he told me he “no longer is in love” with me. I believe he is stuck thinking the honeymoon phase of crazy sex and mutual obsession would last forever. It’s been four days since he broke up with me, and I have been mostly NC (and full NC the last two days). Is there anything I can do to get him back at this point ? We had such a loving, respectful, honest relationship and the idea that it’s over forever is heartbreaking.
M.

March 31, 2015 at 6:13 pm

I did so!it was really good and helpfull! I have a question though. Last year I did take a Picture with a guy friend of mine and a week after my ex closed his fb and some months after I learned about his new girlfriend..This period there’s a guy I’ve been a few dates with but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to try this jealousy-picture thing again or hide this. What do you think?
Meanwhile today my ex posted a pic of him making out with his gf.It’s so hurtful And i don’t know what to do anymore.

M.

April 14, 2015 at 6:16 pm

I’m in the very bad position to say that that guy left me out of the blue also blocked me on fb and instagram!I don’t get it..I really don’t understand what I did wrong, Do you think it was because I told him I want things go more slow or there is another woman? so bye bye photo-plan…
admin

April 2, 2015 at 10:35 pm

I think it might be a good idea in this instance!
M.

April 5, 2015 at 5:37 pm

I’m in the very bad position to say that that guy left me out of the blue also blocked me on fb and instagram!I don’t get it..I really don’t understand what I did wrong, Do you think it was because I told him I want things go more slow or there is another woman? so bye bye photo-plan…

M.

March 19, 2015 at 6:22 pm

I tried the game plan and it worked once,at First he seemed he wanted to be together,talked to me,said he was excited to go on this trip together,then at some point he said we should go to see a movie together,I agreed but when that day came,no sign of him.And when I asked him if we would go to the movies,he said a job came up and”you see we can’t be together?I say one thing and you take it for granted”.I tried to calm he down and explain,we were ok again and after a while we met for the First time at his House.He presented me to his sisters as his gf,he said he was happybut after that he never asked me out again and when the trip came he said it’s better not to go and that we can’t be together,that he would return all the Money back to me..i tried to ask what’s wrong,then he said he can’t leave his job.I went on NC again,cause I couldn’t do anything else.Meanwhile before NC ends,he closes his fb.I wait more than 30 days,then I decide to text him.He didn’t reply my First text but after a while when I tried again,asking him sth he replied and seemed into the conversation.I tried being funny,end the convo early(with no great results),seem busy,I tried sending him memes when he opened his fb again,we once talked on the phone and he sounded good but then after 2 days he never wished me for my birthday,I never said anything,I didn’t complain ever,but as time passed I saw he wouldn’t make a move,I asked what’s going on with the Money and he said he needs time and that he has a gf.I made a mistake and said I had a bf too.After some days,I texted again thanking him for his support the last summer,saying I appreciate him and asking don’t be strangers.We haven’t talked ever since.I tried to show happpy on fb,I posted the best photos I could,I tried to add handsome guys,post photos from foods I’ve made,tag myself with friends.But nothing..I don’t understand what I did so wrong. Do you think there’s something else I can try??

admin

March 22, 2015 at 3:44 pm

I would really take a look at my post on facebook.

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
M.

March 23, 2015 at 8:27 pm

yes I’ve read this a couple of times but I can’t make any difference!I mean I posted photos that people who never had liked my photos before pressed like,I have many guy’s likes and comments sometimes but nothing happens..On Friday I opened my fb again and after I pressed a few likes I saw my ex posted a cover photo the same time I did.I wonder if it was accidental(it had happened in the past too) but today he posted 2 sad songs but after again a photo of him and his gf..It really hurts me to see that..And I don’t know how to make a difference?Is there something else I can do and do you think it’s all accidental?? you’re the only one that can help..
admin

March 24, 2015 at 9:13 pm

You should listen to my social media podcast episode.
M.

March 27, 2015 at 6:26 pm

I did so!it was really good and helpfull! I have a question though. Last year I did take a Picture with a guy friend of mine and a week after my ex closed his fb and some months after I learned about his new girlfriend..This period there’s a guy I’ve been a few dates with but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to try this jealousy-picture thing again or hide this.What do you think?

M.

March 4, 2015 at 6:20 pm

To be honest I doubt he has noticed i closed my profile.But what else can I do? I mean I managed to make people who never liked my photos to like them but nothing works on him..I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even remember me..and no sign of the money as well.My friend she’s a lawyer and insists I should take legal action.I feel like that would be a disaster but I don’t see other way.What would you do..??

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:22 pm

How much money are we talking about here?

If it is a lot then he is stealing from you. If its just a little then you might want to just let it go if you really want to try to get him back.
M.

March 8, 2015 at 6:07 pm

I think it’s a lot..about 400Euros.I don’t think taking Legal action will be a good idea at all but you really think I can get him back after all this time and when he seems so in love with his gf?I have tried everything mentioned here but it wont work.SHould I just wait?open my fb again or what??
admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:30 pm

Well, you are entitled to that money.

What he is doing is theft if he doesn’t return it.

You have literally tried everything on this site?
M.

March 16, 2015 at 6:33 pm

I tried the game plan and it worked once,at First he seemed he wanted to be together,talked to me,said he was excited to go on this trip together,then at some point he said we should go to see a movie together,I agreed but when that day came,no sign of him.And when I asked him if we would go to the movies,he said a job came up and”you see we can’t be together?I say one thing and you take it for granted”.I tried to calm he down and explain,we were ok again and after a while we met for the First time at his House.He presented me to his sisters as his gf,he said he was happybut after that he never asked me out again and when the trip came he said it’s better not to go and that we can’t be together,that he would return all the Money back to me..i tried to ask what’s wrong,then he said he can’t leave his job.I went on NC again,cause I couldn’t do anything else.Meanwhile before NC ends,he closes his fb.I wait more than 30 days,then I decide to text him.He didn’t reply my First text but after a while when I tried again,asking him sth he replied and seemed into the conversation.I tried being funny,end the convo early(with no great results),seem busy,I tried sending him memes when he opened his fb again,we once talked on the phone and he sounded good but then after 2 days he never wished me for my birthday,I never said anything,I didn’t complain ever,but as time passed I saw he wouldn’t make a move,I asked what’s going on with the Money and he said he needs time and that he has a gf.I made a mistake and said I had a bf too.After some days,I texted again thanking him for his support the last summer,saying I appreciate him and asking don’t be strangers.We haven’t talked ever since.I tried to show happpy on fb,I posted the best photos I could,I tried to add handsome guys,post photos from foods I’ve made,tag myself with friends.But nothing..I don’t understand what I did so wrong. Do you think there’s something else I can try??

N.M

February 26, 2015 at 4:27 am

Hi!
Yes he’s high maintenance, I,m mama he’s the baby,
End of honeymoon period coupled with me being sick of always being the giver, led to him cheating on me, which in turn made me super duper clingy,jealous, suspicious, angry!
Lack of any outward display of remorse or apologies made me Mad!
I’m waiting for that since 6 years. Right after first episode he dated again.
The relationship has rotted totally. You know the background 57/29.
Is there Any way to get things back on track?
How can a honeymoon period last forever, how does one explain that to him
If he is going to keep on cheating just to get that ‘high’?
Please, any ideas?

admin

March 1, 2015 at 6:08 pm

A honeymoon period cannot last forever.

That was the point I was getting at in this article.

More experience from him and he would have realized that.
N.M

March 2, 2015 at 5:27 am

Yes well how does one explain to him.
Also I found him registered on a few dating sites way back in 2008
I don’t think he’s into that now, he might have had a few chats
I haven’t got around to listening to your podcasts
Just reminding you, you said you would respond to my emails
( in reverse psychology thread on jan22)(emails of 11jan, redundant now)
Without having heard the podcasts , I just feel you’re spreading yourself too thin!
What sets you apart from others has been your being there for us heartbroken women and slowly it’s turning impersonal, you’re very busy, don’t reply comments, when it’s like life or death to the women who are going through torment.
By all means do innovate, but please get help, and reply within a reasonable period to questions. Sometimes your answers are a bit distracted.
From all of us who trust you so much, please don’t let us down
We need you! Please don’t be offended.
Thanks.
admin

March 2, 2015 at 9:54 pm

I used to be able to answer everyone in a timely and in-depth manner but it’s just not possible anymore.

Thats why I try to give back through the podcasts.

I am working on a lot of stuff at once and I am probably spreading myself too thin right now but the reason this site is looked at as an authority isn’t because I answer everyone. It’s because I create in-depth articles so that is where I try to spend most of my time because in the end only a small portion of people visiting this site actually leave a comment.

For example, 3 million people have visited this site total in the past two years.

Out of those 3 million people only 40,000 have commented. So, that means that 2.96 million women have come to this website and have not commented. So, the vast majority of visitors to this website don’t even comment that means the only way I can reach them are through articles and podcasts. So, on top of writing articles for everyone I try to get to peoples comments as well.

It takes me 2 hours every day combing through the comments on not just this site but my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Out of all these people you are the one who stands out the most because you comment so much. So, if you want a more personal response you got it! You are right I owe you one.

Here it is,

When I just look at your situation generally it is always HIM controlling things. You are 57 and he is what, 29? You have that hot mature cougar vibe going on for him. Except you don’t have it anymore. You are clingy and you are needy and you know what, you are too available for him.

If you want to get things back on track you need to find a way to get that mature vibe back for him. Last time I checked older women weren’t needy. They were experienced and fascinating to younger men who had the hots for them.

It’s a vibe you need to get back.
N.M

March 4, 2015 at 4:58 pm

I Am overwhelmed, I don’t know what to say except Thank you for taking the time and interest! Thank you!
I need to stop bothering you! You sound very exasperated! I’m sorry!
admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:14 pm

No your fine!

Just don’t take it personally if I am a little off in my responses.

It’s tougher than you think responding to a bunch of people and remembering their situations but I understand where you are coming from completely.
N.M

March 8, 2015 at 9:06 am

Thanks. But… I wrote mails on same day 4mar!
Do take time to see? They are the after reaction, that I couldn’t write here.!
Thanks again!
N.M

March 8, 2015 at 10:17 am

And one mail today all from this email id mentioned in this post. Regards.
N.M

February 26, 2015 at 4:37 am

Cheating due to needs. Sex! I can’t sleep with him when I’m waiting for apologies and remorse! When I do it’s just to ‘keep’ him.
Sort of like FWB
And being told he’ll go elsewhere cos he’s Young and needs sex…

M.

February 24, 2015 at 7:37 pm

I did try what you said on November,but instead when I logged in he posted in relantionship status.. I tried to post new photos of me looking the best I could but nothing happens.. I feel so frustrated he hasn’t returned the money I don’t think I can talk to him without losing my patience. What else can I do?Is it possible to change things in favor of me??

M.

February 26, 2015 at 7:02 pm

please can you help me?On saturday he Tagged him and her in a cafe and today he changed his profile pic with her from the summer… I closed my PROFILE cause I can’t bear to watch this anymore…but wha can I do? Should I just demand my Money back and erase him or what else?? can you advice me?I have no one else to do so…
admin

March 1, 2015 at 6:26 pm

I wish you hadn’t of closed your profile because now he knows this is bugging you.
M.

March 2, 2015 at 6:08 pm

To be honest I doubt he has noticed it.But what else can I do? I mean I managed to make people who never liked my photos to like them but nothing Works on him..and no sign of the money as well.What would you do..??

J

February 24, 2015 at 5:29 am

Hey Chris,
So after reading the section about the honeymoon period, I feel like this did contribute to me and my ex’s breakup. He’s had two gfs before me. His first girlfriend he dated for a week and his second girlfriend and him dated for a month. We dated about 5 months when he broke up with me because he didn’t love me as much as he used to. On the otherhand, he was my first boyfriend. The past month it had felt like he was pushing me away because he had mono and he didn’t want me to get sick too. Could that be a contributing factor at all? I also sometimes talked about other guys in front of him sometimes but I always made sure that he was the only one I wanted and that I loved him. Since we have the same friend, I talked about him a lot because he and I are fairly close and knows so much about me, which made him jealous. I never meant to and I constantly told him how weird that is because I think of our friend as like a brother. Would that be a part of him falling out of love with me too? I told him not to worry but he said that only made him worry more.

admin

February 24, 2015 at 9:45 pm

Well, women mature faster than men too I believe.

I doubt the mono was a factor at all.
J

February 26, 2015 at 3:23 am

The thing is though is that he also has depression. I know when I asked how he was doing that he hated that. He didn’t want to be reminded when talking to me should’ve been a distraction from it. after we broke up, our friend told me my ex acted jealous around him. My ex’s parents are divorced, so my friend assumed he was jealous because his parents aren’t.

sabrina

February 19, 2015 at 1:51 pm

again none of that happened, i always admired him, our relationship was all about what he wanted and when he wasn’t comfortable with something it just didn’t happen (ergo he was high maintenance) , i didn’t cheat i believe we passed the honeymoon period a wile before the break up. i made sure not to be clingy because i know how much men need there space 1 call a day and him staying the weekend with me. i believe all of his needs were answered by me… not to sound so “look at me perfect girl” but i seriously think i did everything “right” and have no idea what the hell happened ! the more i read on this site the more i don’t understand why he would break up with me. a lot of people who know us say that he realized that he wasn’t good enough for me and that that feeling emasculated him and that’s why he broke up with me. is that possible? i was always putting the extra effort in to please him and sometimes he would comment on how unworthy he is and that he doesn’t treat me like i deserve and that i should just break up with him because i can do so much better. so could that be the true reason? was i too good for him?

admin

February 20, 2015 at 11:25 pm

It is definitely possible for him to feel insignificant or demasculated…

But I don’t buy you were too good for him unless you really did nothing to make him feel wanted.

yamini

February 18, 2015 at 3:25 pm

sir, i sent u my problem thru the email via “contact me ” section u have at the end.. pls take a look and reply.
regards yamini.

admin

February 18, 2015 at 10:00 pm

ok.

yamini

February 18, 2015 at 11:00 am

sir, through the contact me section on your website i have sent u an email just now. Can u pls be kind enough to read it and reply. it is very important for me.
it is a bit long and might take your time but u wud be an angel to me if you could help.
i have no one to talk and no where to go. u seem like the only person.. please sir give it a look.
it was lengthy so i didnt post it here..

admin

February 18, 2015 at 9:52 pm

I will when I can.

Lin

February 17, 2015 at 12:52 am

My ex broke up with me for the 2nd time in 10 years. We used to work at the same company, but for the last 7 years we basically live in a different country. He works in Japan and have a home in US. I only got to see him when he came to have a trip with me once every 3-4 months. It would be so great during the trip. But once he got back to his work in Japan or back home in US, he basically didn’t keep the communication stable. I often had a problem with him not talking or not texting me. I notice his change since our relationship became long distance. After I left that job, at one time we didn’t see each other for 2 years. I think that’s when he gradually started to change. He’s the kind of guy who needs affection and a loving touch. We often fought over the fact that he would see me only 3-4 times a year, mostly because he would choose to go home to see his adult kids instead (which I totally understand). I offered to move to japan or US and find a work so we could spend more time together, but he never talked about it.

The last few years, we would be fighting over how he couldn’t come see me more or talk to me more, whether on skype or text. When he broke it off, he said maybe it’s because he didn’t have the feeling to do that in the first place.

We used to love each other so much for the first 3 years when we worked together and got to spend more time together. We would talk for hours, write thousands of emails.

Now he left me and said I shouldn’t try to talk him back because it’s not going to work. I don’t understand why he could turn so cold when few months ago we were still all over each other on our trip to Cambodia. After he broke it off, he deleted me off his fb one morning. When I asked him why, he said it’s time to move on. He’d like to try and be with someone.

It hurts me in a way you couldn’t imagine. He knows how much I have loved him all these years. Even when I didn’t get to see him for 2 years, I was never looking or have an eye on anybody. I could and would die for him. I put up with every wrong things he did. I’ve been in love with him every single day for the last 10 years. He’s the last thing on my mind before I sleep and the first thing when I wake up. The fight we’d had since we were in a LDR was how I wanted him to come see me more and keep in contact more.
He used to love me with his life. I don’t understand what was going on. Now it seems like he’s with someone just less than 2 months after he left.

I’m in a really dark place right now. I feel like I can’t breath. Everytime I think of his cold blooded words after he left, I feel like I don’t want to have to live to feel the pain. How could someone changed that much. How could someone so soft so nice so tender like him turned into someone I don’t know of. All those words are a stab to my heart.

2 months ago I went to see him in Japan for a week. After that I told him I would improve myself and understand him more. I was trying so hard to make it work. But he said he would like to call it quit. It was in his head for a few months and he thought he should let me have this trip first. He dumped me a week after my trip. Of course I’d been begging, writing, saying bad things to him out of hurt. I thought he would change his mind. No. He said he’d like to try and be with someone.

Can someone please tell me how I could get out of this.
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I don’t know what to do.

I forgot to tell you that his ex hates me so much she was trying to sabotage our relationship for years and force the kids to do the same. She blames me for the finality of their divorce. He’s never happy at home when the topic about me was raised up, which is every single time….But he often said it’s not about them.

MADY

August 27, 2015 at 5:08 pm

lin, some how I understand, its the first time I hear about this website (would’ve loved to know about it earlier in my life). right now the best medicine in my case was time, you see, u spent so much time thinking about him and doing things for him that he took a lot of your time and space, now that he is not in the picture u have a lot of space in you mind, and time in your hands so you miss him. just try to do other things, go out with friends, (what I did) now that I read this website Chris makes a lot of sense and I get a lot of the things but its late, all I can do is apply it to my next relationship. hope you are better 🙂
admin

February 17, 2015 at 12:47 pm

I think you need to pull yourself out of that “dark place” first before you can win him back…

Self reliance in the immediate future is probably the way to go.

M.

February 15, 2015 at 5:25 pm

Hello Chris can you please answer a few things for me, I need some serious advice. Well, my ex and I ”broke up” a year ago when he cancelled a trip we had planed togeher, then during summer he told me he has a gf when I asked for the Money he owes me and that he needs some time. I tried to patient, hoped to be a rebound but no..The irritating thing is that she looks like me and we have common interests.I haven’t maintened contact with him cause he wouldn’t reply more than typical stuff or not at all..Even so he hasn’t deleted me from fb..I was thinking of deleting him after NEW year but lately I saw she didn’t like any of his photos or songs and his post seemed weird so I hoped they broke up or sth.But I saw today he posted a photo of chocolates with a ”I love you so much(name)”and a profile photo of him driving a Car(he hadn’t a Car).Meanwhile I noticed that now posts from other people saw up in his profile,when until now they didn’t.I think this is too much for me, I don’t know what to do anymore.I really need a good advice from someone and I TRUST you..Should I delete him or what should I do? and is it all over, no hopes anymore?

admin

February 16, 2015 at 11:46 pm

I wouldn’t delete him… I would just not log on for a while.
M.

February 17, 2015 at 7:34 pm

I did try it on November,but instead when I logged in he posted in relantionship status.. I tried to post new photos of me looking the best I could but nothing happens.. I feel so frustrated he hasn’t returned the money I don’t think I can talk to him without losing my patience. What else can I do?Is it possible to change things in favor of me??
M.

February 19, 2015 at 6:15 pm

I did try it on November,but instead when I logged in he posted in relantionship status.. I tried to post new photos of me looking the best I could but nothing happens.. I feel so frustrated he hasn’t returned the money I don’t think I can talk to him without losing my patience. What else can I do?Is it possible to change things in favor of me??

hana

February 15, 2015 at 2:35 pm

Hello chris! Does any of your guides provide insights as to why some ex bfs contacts their ex gf when they are in a new relationship. Then go into no contact for a few wks to a mth at most. Then contacts his ex gf again? Its like a back and forth; in and out of nc with their ex gf.

Definitely not trying to stay friends with their ex gf. So why then?