Today we’re going to talk about what to do if your ex contacts you during a No Contact Rule.
But first, I want you to stop everything you’re doing and answer one simple question.
Do you even think you have a chance of getting back with your ex?
Assuming that’s what you want to use your No Contact Rule for, and if you don’t have a clear answer to that question, I’ve got great news. I’ve put together a special resource on this website to help you – a free, simple quiz to tell you exactly what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
Give it a go, then come back and read on.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhat Do You Do If You’re Doing No Contact And Your Ex Texts You?
The first thing we should do is define what we consider to be a No Contact Rule.
The No Contact Rule is a predetermined amount of time during which you cut off all communication with your ex, without explanation.
When I teach this rule to people, their first reaction is often:
“Wait, won’t that make my ex really angry?”
Well, yes – that’s kind of the point.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if your ex is angry (or upset, sad or anything else) with you, because if you do it right, No Contact will set you up for a situation where everything’s going to snowball in your favor when you do finally get in contact with your ex.
In the meantime, your ex has the chance to recover from the breakup and forget some of the negative emotions and memories associated with it, and with you. He has the chance to miss you.
Another common reaction is:
“Wait, won’t that mean my ex will just forget me and move on?”
In fact, our research shows that he’s more likely to be wondering why you have suddenly stopped contacting him, and why you seem to be doing so well after the breakup (because you will, of course, be using your No Contact Rule time to live your best life and recover from the breakup yourself).
For more worries about what he’s thinking during No Contact and how it works on an ex, try reading my article The Psychology Of A Man During The No Contact Rule.
The No Contact Rule really is the best first step (after my free quiz, of course!) to getting your ex back.
There’s just one problem.
The Biggest Problem With The No Contact Rule
Most people who try the No Contact Rule will break it.
That’s because the No Contact Rule is hard.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizYou will want to contact your ex, because you are missing them.
And if your ex contacts you first? It’s going to be extremely hard not to reply, because you crave communication with that person.
Your mind is trying to find ways to process this breakup, and it will find interesting ways to rationalise why you should get back in contact with your ex.
My mantra is K.I.S.S. – Keep It Super Simple.
Here’s the super simple view of the No Contact Rule.
There’s only one rule that you have to follow.
Do Not Break It!
That means you will not be responding to any;
- text messages
- phone calls
- emails, likes,
- snaps
Or any type of correspondence from your ex that they might send through any channel.
It can be extremely difficult if you receive a text message or email from your ex to sit there and say, you know what, I’m going to ignore it. What’s the big deal, you might think, if I respond?
The Consequence If You Respond To Your Ex
There are consequences if you really want this No Contact Rule to work.
If you break your No Contact Rule prematurely before your predetermined length of time, you need to start over from Day 1.
And starting over means another round of No Contact, which means even more time when you can’t speak to the person you want to talk to more than anything.
Remember that No Contact doesn’t last forever (unless you decide you want it to!). So don’t prolong the agony by messing it up and having to start again.
And don’t dilute its effectiveness by restarting, then contacting, then restarting.
Actually Let’s Talk About Diluting The No Contact Rule If You Break It Early
Right, so let’s say you’ve gotten 21 days through the No Contact Rule and on Day 22 you ex reaches out to you, begging to talk to you.
You break the No Contact Rule, message him and start a conversation.
What do you do? Well, you have to restart your No Contact Rule over from the get go.
Don’t be surprised if your ex gets mad, starts calling you mean names, gets upset because you’re ignoring him on his birthday, even bangs on your door.
These are all really good signs that No Contact is working. These are all common reactions, and show that he is having an emotional reaction to your withdrawal.
You must still not respond.
If you feel bad about this, if you are ignoring him and it’s his birthday, or he’s broken down and wants your help, or whatever, just remember that he dumped you (or treated you so badly you had to leave him).
He hurt you, and while it’s not about tit-for-tat, he does need to realize that things are not okay, and that there are consequences to the breakup.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizSo do not respond.
What If He Wants His Stuff?
There are a couple of situations where ignoring him might not be possible – if he turns up and you are face to face, or if he asks to get his belongings back (or you need something important or valuable back from him).
If you need to exchange belongings, you can break No Contact for this and not have to restart.
If you refuse a reasonable request, you would seem rude and obstinate; not very helpful if you want to get back together.
If you want something back, make sure it’s something worth it – don’t just use it as an excuse to see him. You don’t need to get your old t-shirt or toothbrush back. Leave it. If he wants something back, be gracious about it and agree to meet him to exchange. If he doesn’t want to do it face to face, respect that.
When you do see him, keep the interaction short and sweet. Look your best, be nice, but don’t linger or ask him questions. You are busy getting on with your life.
What If He Turns Up?
If he turns up suddenly wherever you are and you have to talk to him or you would appear completely rude – the same rules apply.
If you are out and about, I will assume you are being the Ungettable Girl and looking the best you can. That’s step one covered.
Be happy, bubbly and positive.
Answer his questions, but don’t engage him in any extra conversation. So, if he asks how you are, tell him you are great, thanks. Don’t then ask him how he is, or what he’s been up to, or if his sister went to that salon you recommended… Keep the conversation short and sweet.
If he asks you why you are ignoring him/being childish/being mean or tries to start an argument, avoid reacting. Smile a natural smile and say, “I’m not ignoring you. I’m just focusing on myself and my life.” Or something similar.
Be the one to end the conversation. You can say something like, “I have to get back now. Nice to see you,” then leave. You want to leave him wanting more. If he hasn’t had all his questions answered, he will be even more curious.
He’s caught you out, but you can still come out of it with the upper hand.
Note that most exes don’t contact during the No Contact period. This doesn’t mean they don’t care or that they have forgotten about you. Want to know more about what’s going on in his brain while you are laying that No Contact on him? Here’s another article all about it.
So Why Does The No Contact Rule Work?
Well, by ignoring your ex, you’re stirring up his curiosity. There’s no explanation why for all of a sudden you began to ignore him.
Especially if you were gnatting him beforehand (bothering him constantly, like an annoying little fly).
Especially if he asked you repeatedly to leave him alone, and you didn’t…then suddenly, there’s radio silence.
And most especially if, at the same time as rebuffing all contact, you are seemingly having the time of your life and not wallowing in the usual post-breakup misery.
He becomes curious.
He can’t live without knowing why you’re not trying to talk to him. He wonders why you aren’t at home crying every night. His male pride will be smarting at least a little bit.
He will feel the need to fight against the change, even if he doesn’t understand why he is feeling this way.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizNow the issue is that if you break your own No Contact Rule by responding to any messages, you undermine the effectiveness of the Rule. Instead of thinking that he doesn’t know what’s going on and becoming more curious, if you respond, you are reassuring him.
His curiosity disappears. He’ll sit and think you know what? She’s probably wanting me back. She’s probably chasing me. I can get her to talk to me anytime I want. I’ve still got her if I want her.
You don’t want your ex to think that.
The Grey Areas And The Limited No Contact Rule
I’m a big believer that there are no absolutes in life. Oftentimes you find the answers you need in the grey areas.
That can certainly be true with a No Contact Rule. There are some circumstances where you’re going to be forced to modify your No Contact Rule into a Limited No Contact Rule.
So what is the Limited No Contact Rule?
Limited No Contact is a predetermined amount of time after specific types of breakups where you cut off all communication except on essential matters.
Now, I made a big stink about the one rule with a No Contact Rule being, do not contact.
Here’s that grey area. There are certain situations you will find yourself in where you’re just not going to be able to use the No Contact Rule in its purest form. Instead you must use the Limited No Contact Rule.
Here’s where people get messed up. They try to rationalise the fact that they need to go into Limited No Contact Rule so they don’t have to do the full No Contact Rule.
This is a bad idea. Full No Contact, where possible, gives you the best chance of having your ex go through all the stages of post-breakup thinking regarding you, from anger and pain through to the curiosity we were just talking about, then hopefully regret and a desire to connect with you again.
So don’t kid yourself that Limited No Contact will be best for you. That’s not how it works. You are either in a No Contact circumstance or you are in a Limited No Contact circumstance. In this case it is black and white.
There are no ways to turn things from a No Contact Rule into a Limited No Contact rule. It just doesn’t work like that.
If you are in one of the scenarios below, you can utlise the Limited No Contact Rule. If not, you can’t – so don’t try to wriggle out of full No Contact!
How Do you know if you are in a Limited No Contact Rule situation?
There are five scenarios where you will need to employ a Limited No Contact Rule.
- You are co-workers or at school together
- You share a living space
- You are married
- You have children together
- You are pregnant with your ex’s child
In these five scenarios, the question isn’t, will you break the No Contact Rule? You have to, and that is why in these circumstances we instead recommend a Limited No Contact Rule.
And What Should I Do In Limited No Contact?
As little as possible.
Basically, you keep things strictly business.
You only communicate about the important things that need to be talked about.
Essentials such as:
- A work project you’re both involved in
- Childcare arrangements
- Important documents or possessions you need to exchange
- Paying bills or other joint issues
Think about what these essentials are in your situation.
Instead of responding to your ex’s attempts to make small talk e.g, about the weather, you are only going to talk to your ex about things related to these essentials.
If he asks how you are, reply that you’re great, thanks. This doesn’t break the rule. But remember that if you then ask him how he is, you’re creating more of a conversation than is totally necessary and that breaks your Limited No Contact Rule.
What about the shared living space?
How do you handle situations like that?
The absolute best way is to move out. Do anything you can to remove yourself from this situation, even temporarily, because our research has shown that this brings down your chance of success at getting your ex back. He just won’t have the chance to get over the breakup and miss you – because you’re right there.
If you are living with your ex, when you are in his vicinity, you’re going to keep things strictly business, the same as with the other situations outlined. You’re not going to start a conversation with your ex.
But if, for example you’re having breakfast and your ex walks in and starts talking to you, you don’t want to be flat out rude to them, so you’re going to keep it short and sweet, and exit the conversation as soon as you can.
Your ex needs to understand that things are not okay, and that you are not okay together. You don’t want him to get a sense of security.
Work on this by also keeping your distance. Spend time with friends, on dates, out at the gym, with family – don’t mope about where he can see.
You don’t need to explain where you’re going, even if you are leaving the kids with him. Just say, “Out!” and exit with a smile. Look your best as much as you can; you can even flaunt nice new outfits or haircuts…as long as you don’t talk about it!
So keep it super simple and all about the business of whatever circumstance you find yourself in.
Hopefully you have gained some clarity on how to handle things if your ex contacts you during the No Contact Rule.
Remember, the first rule of the No Contact Rule is that you do not break no contact. The second rule of the No Contact Rule is that you do not break no contact!
Except if you’re in a legitimate limited No Contact situation…
Remember to take the free and easy quiz to work out what chance you have of getting your ex back, before you invest your precious time and effort.
Also, if you’re a little unsure about how all this works or any aspect of it, please leave a comment below. I try to respond to every comment and give you some steps to help you move forward.
Tiffany stjean
February 8, 2023 at 8:37 pm
I’m hoping this works. Been married for 18 years and he tells me he no longer loves me anymore and started dating. My biggest fear he is very interested already in one of his dates. I still hope he remembers the good times and forget the bad and comes back to me during v this break. We just broke up too.
Mary
October 11, 2022 at 12:20 am
I am on no contact and only one day, lol. I plan to do continue no contact for the rest of the 30 days. I have not even text him good morning anymoe. I know it is just a start until he gets
it. He had broken our date last Friday, after I had already cooked a meal. I feel that He just wants out.
However, there are two issues. One is that we go to the same meeting once a week and likes to give me a ride to the meeting. Due to inclement weather.
So, should I do not reply or say yes to his upcoming requests and choose another mode of transportation? It is snowing and raining today. What is your advice?
Coach Shaunna Nicol
November 13, 2022 at 1:22 pm
Hi Mary, find your own way there and if he reaches out explain that you have somewhere else to be that morning first so will see him there. Thanks for the offer.
Rebecca
October 8, 2022 at 7:38 am
Good day.
My ex decided to end things with me 3 weeks ago. He cheated. Over the past 3 weeks I’ve been getting hot and cold treatments and late night messages. I have deleted my social media related to him and only have instagram now.Shoudl I delete it as well or is it too immature?
I’ve broken the no contact many times because it’s too hard
But this time I really want to start the NC again and will do better. How many days should I do NC? Is it still worth it 3 weeks after the break up?
Please advice. Thank you .
Coach Shaunna Nicol
November 13, 2022 at 1:24 pm
Hi Rebecca so you need to follow a 45 day no contact as you said you have broken it a few times. Stop replying to anything he sends you going forward and also, leave your socials on there to show how well you are doing
Kenna
September 29, 2022 at 11:19 pm
He broke up with me 2 months ago. He reached out day 22 of NC with I miss you, how are you, I hope your well. I didn’t respond. Been no contact for 32 days. Am I suppose to reply back to that message? Wait for another?
Coach Shaunna Nicol
October 23, 2022 at 11:52 am
You should be reading the articles to help you with your first reach out text.
Jen
September 24, 2022 at 1:57 am
My ex and I are married. We did not have any children. He continues to receive his mail at my place because he doesn’t have his own place yet. He will text me about picking up his mail and try to engage me in conversation. I keep things straight to the point. If he messages me to ask me if he has received mail, I say yes and leave it outside so we don’t physically see each other. I’ve tried to suggest a consistent day when he can retrieve his mail and said I will leave it outside on that day to try to avoid him texting me. He said no, just wait for him to text when he is available to get it. When he tries to engage me after asking about his mail, he will then ask how I am and go into talking about his own life. I respond to him by saying that I am well and hope he is too. I don’t respond to anything else in the text or engage him. I feel like I’m doing something wrong by responding to his texts about mail because then it really isn’t “no contact.” At the same time, I’ve said I’d leave the mail out every week at a certain time and he said no. He says he can’t afford a P.O. Box. I don’t physically see him when he comes for the mail but what more can I do to truly go no contact if his mail is still coming here? Thanks in advance!
Coach Shaunna Nicol
November 13, 2022 at 1:18 pm
Collecting mail is fine, as you are not engaging in conversation or discussing the breakup. This is what we call Limited NC
Kayla
August 23, 2022 at 7:46 pm
So I have been in no contact for about 8 days and my ex has contacted my sister about me. Then liked an old picture of us together. My caption was “I miss you.” She then DM’d me sharing that post saying “then why did you treat me like I was nothing” I do not know what to do. Do I respond or leave it. I have viewed it so she can see that I read it but I do not know if I should respond. I am hoping this NC works to get my ex back but will it break it if I respond?
Coach Shaunna Nicol
September 2, 2022 at 8:32 pm
Hey Kayla, so with information you have given it sounds as if she is hurting from something that happened during the relationship. She is having an emotional reaction to your break up and the photos. The actions you need to take are going to be based on that she broke up with you and that you had done something wrong, I would say NC for 21 days and then start reaching out with Chris text advice, but again your information is brief, it is possible to give you better advice if I knew your situation. I would suggest looking at coaching if you wanted a better one to one session!
Julia Williams
August 16, 2022 at 3:23 pm
Hello this is good information however Ihsve a problem my ex texted a week ago and basically told me he was sorry for not being in contact with me and hoping that I was okay.then he says I don’t know that he guess he was in a little depression.Also told me that he thinks about me every day and that he guess that he stuck in his ways and does not want to hurt me I do love you so my question to you is what am I supposed to do with that? I did respond telling him that I was good and I hoped his depression gets better.And that I think of him too should I have said more or I did ok. I really don’t know what to do
Coach Shaunna Nicol
September 2, 2022 at 8:53 pm
Hey Julia, I would say that you said enough based on what he reached out to you with. I also would suggest that you allow some space between you so that he can work on himself. Read the articles and materials to help you with the program to understand what you need to be doing in each step of the program starting with a 30 day NC
Tasharrya Morris
June 25, 2022 at 10:49 am
Hi, my situation is super complicated. I broke up with my ex. We were still seeing each other and then he got pissed because he found out that I was texting another guy. We reunited after a week or two. What I thought was a start to a new relationship with him, he shortly ended things and told me he wanted to be single. So we continued to keep in touch and have sex. He was involved with another young lady as well. He tells me he is single but he acts as if this other woman is his girlfriend. So I decided to implement the No contract Rule. I am on day 3 and am having doubts. He was calling and texting me like crazy but I haven’t heard anything else from him since yesterday afternoon. Should I continue no contact or go back to communicating and having sex. It seems we were building things back because at first he barely wanted to talk to me or come around me.
Coach Shaunna Nicol
July 18, 2022 at 8:51 pm
Hey Tasharrya keep going with your NC your ex is going to go through a range of emotions and he is likely going to express those in a negative way – one being angry that you are not replying and he may start flaunting the other woman, just be prepared for it but he really needs to feel the loss of you I think he will be shocked that you’re not there waiting for him anymore.
Ellie
June 5, 2022 at 9:08 pm
My ex husband has reached out to me twice after our break up 2 months ago. I want him back but I have recently found his comments to different women on TikTok which was absolutely hurtful. He emailed me and wants me to call and talk to him ( I changed my phone number). I am not sure what to do. I am heart broken but want him back. I am afraid if I don’t respond he will not come back again. Not sure at what point I should reply him. Should I wait longer? or not? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2022 at 6:30 pm
Hi Ellie, you say ex-husband, are you divorced? If not then I would suggest that you search locally for a couple counsellor and then you deal with the comments that you have found online, you say they are hurtful which I totally understand but were you together at the time? If you were already broken up, then you need to keep in mind that he is allowed to attempt to speak to others during that time even if it is upsetting. I would not do more than 21 days NC if you are still married.
jade
June 1, 2022 at 11:46 am
PLEASE HELP!!: Hi, my now ex is being very hot & cold. he tells me he doesn’t see a future with me & wants to be single but then 3 weeks ago was telling me i’m his person & im the one for him. & was telling me that the whole year of our relationship. we live together & he wants us both to move out. i left the apartment & stayed at a friends & did not contact him but before leaving the apartment, every time i’d come home he’d ask me where i’ve been, what i was doing, who i was with. hes still sharing his location with me & when he asked his friend if he should unshare location his friend was like “if it’s really over then yes” & my ex said “well whatever, i guess it doesn’t matter.” it seems like every time i go out & have fun, he gets madder & madder. he also had sex with me 2 days before i left the apartment (ik i probably shouldn’t have) & then he tried again in the middle of the night but i brushed him off & then he woke up angry & was back to breaking up with me. i haven’t spoken to him since last wednesday & was supposed to go home yesterday but decided to travel to a friends & stay here for a week (i didn’t tell him i was doing this; no contact) & now he contacted me yesterday saying he wants to break the lease, when can i be out of the apartment, i need to be out in a week but then he changed it to a month, asked me where i am, when i’ll be back in the apartment. i kept my answers short, no emotion. i just don’t understand all of this, the breakup came out of nowhere; i know there are things i have to work on but he didn’t even give me a chance to work on them. all i want is 1 chance to improve. he told me he wanted to marry me, he would always call me his wife, he was so sweet & then one day turned..literally telling me all these nice things 3 weeks ago & a month ago we were looking at rings online with my mom!! & last week he turned in a cold man that i don’t recognize. his one family friend/mentor isn’t rooting for me. he’s jealous of my ex, it’s clear. ugh, i used to do everything for this man!! cooking, cleaning, shaving, removing stains from his clothes, making sure he’s loved & taken care of. i devoted my life to him & he told me that’s what he wants in someone. but now is telling me i need to work more because he got a new job that is now his #1 priority, even though he forced me to make him my priority 4 months into the relationship.
i’m so so confused..please help me. i’ve never thought someone was my person, i don’t even believe in soulmates but if they were real, he would be mine. we have so much fun together, i just get a bit emotional & have anxious attachment style of relationship & need to work on myself, which i have been doing. i just want him back; he’s the love of my life.
Hannah
May 18, 2022 at 8:13 am
10 days into no contact after a whirlwind couple of months with too much hot from his side then went cold and said he realised he needs to be on his own. I said ok take care. 10 days no contact and moving on and he WhatsApps appreciating my holiday photos asking how I am. He’s a musician on tour so pretty busy. Has also been looking at my insta stories. Feel like continuing no contact, but after such a short lived relationship what’s best?
Janette Ramirez
May 4, 2022 at 6:07 pm
Thank you so much for this article. After 14 days he just texted me. I had no idea whatsoever how to proceed. I am pregnant with his child, so I will try the limited contact. THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart.
Sammy
April 16, 2022 at 4:11 pm
My ex and I work for the same company but different locations. We have to call each other’s stores for product ect.. we were together a year in a half..broken up a week. I asked him let me go so I can heal the day before yesterday, he replied ok. NC only second day. He just sent a text about a product at work that was supposed to be transferred of mine. I called the store earlier and took care of it already. Should I respond? I am scared after my king speech of leaving me alone that he won’t reach out again lol. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 21, 2022 at 12:24 pm
Hey Sammy, you took care of the item, it is not an excuse for him to text you as that is not your work phone. As long as you do your job just keep with your NC.
Anna
March 25, 2022 at 3:41 pm
My ex sent me a tik tok video today, and it’s literally exactly 30 days since we last spoke and I was considering the first contact text message today. I don’t know if it was an accident or if he meant to send it. I didn’t break NC during the 30 days, but now he reached out on the exact day I was going to, but in such a small way that I’m not even sure if it was intentional. What do I do now?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 10, 2022 at 3:06 pm
Hi Anna, I would suggest that you acknowledge the video and reach out in 5-7 days yourself through text as planned.
T
February 25, 2022 at 4:27 am
If he snaps me 2 weeks after doing no contact can I open it and leave him on read or do I just leave it and not view?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 26, 2022 at 12:23 pm
Ignore it do not open any message as it shows you have read it.
Cassie
February 23, 2022 at 11:29 pm
I was seeing someone for 6 months, he wouldn’t make it official and wouldn’t commit but would act like we were a couple. I finally told him to “sh*t or get off the pot.” He let me walk away and I decided to go no contact. He texted me the next day apologizing for how things turned out and saying he would respect my boundaries and not reach out. 4 weeks later he texted me saying, “Hey, just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing?” I was only 28 days no contact so I did not respond (also because it was a “just to say hi text” not saying he missed me and wanted to give us a chance). It has been 42 days no contact now (13 days since he texted) and his birthday is in 2 days. Should I end no contact now and wish him a happy birthday? Or continue no contact until he reaches out again with more substance than “just saying hi?” Not sure what to do. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 1, 2022 at 11:01 pm
Hey Cassie, no do not reach out on his birthday extend by 5 days
Edel
February 19, 2022 at 2:51 am
My ex and me broke up last week. I wasn’t texting him at the time unless he texted me, I was begging him a bit right after things ended. He said that he may consider getting back with me, that he can’t promise me that we will get back together, we will always be friends and can only see what the future brings? He also said that living with my mum would be a great lesson of life for me for the time being and help me grow because right now everything is on me and you’ll mark my words soon?
I’m doing the 30 days no contact with him and I’m wondering if you think there is an opportunity for us getting back together?
Felicia
February 3, 2022 at 2:31 am
Together 6 months. We broke up roughly 2 weeks ago and I started no contact after Monday morning, so almost 3 days ago. I begged embarrassingly and all he kept saying was we could be friends and I told him I was not able to only be friends with him because it hurt too bad and I couldnt just be friends with someone I cared so much for, with this we couldn’t talk or spend time together anymore (many things we did or how we talked were so similar to when dating) Now Wednesday night he is texting me telling me to stay safe and let him know if I lose power or water because of a storm. Why is he messaging me??? I didnt respond.
Jess
January 27, 2022 at 3:43 pm
After 2 weeks of arguing after our break up I went no co tact with my ex. After 1 day he messaged and asked if I’m ok. What do I do.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 29, 2022 at 12:14 am
Ignore and continue your No Contact
Stephanie Lawson
October 16, 2021 at 8:04 am
My ex sent me a text 16 days into NC saying he was going to have someone drop one of my belongings… nothing of importance to me. So I never responded. no one ever came with my stuff.. He also sent me a snap later that evening . Should I open the snap and let him know I read it or keep it closed and wait until no Contact is over? Any help or advice on opening up snaps or leaving them unread would be most appreciated! Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 26, 2021 at 1:35 pm
Do not open snapchats, as this is a form of breaking your NC. Leave him on unread for the duration of your NC and even then only reply to him through a more permanent media, such as whatsapp, text, messenger.