By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 25th, 2021

Want to wager a bet?

I guarantee that he is thinking of this break up just as much as you are. In fact, I bet it is haunting him even more.

“Why?” you ask?

Because he is the MAN and he is supposed to remain in control of the situation. He is supposed to feel like he has all the tools in the universe to solve the problem. He has that typical alpha male ego that tells him he has to win. He has to be a provider and a protector.

Unfortunately, right now, he has no answers and his ego has taken a blow.

He will reach out to women who will soothe and stroke his damaged ego. He will act like the break up doesn’t affect him at all. He will go to the gym to work off his anger. He will get on those dating sites because those women don’t know the real him. They will only know what he chooses to show them.

He appears strong to them. He appears to have it all together.

We all know that he just doesn’t and that’s why he withdraws from us.

Where To Start

What do you do about it?

Easy. You become the biggest, baddest, most courageous woman you know. You immerse yourself in what you love. You try new adventures.

If it seems he has forgotten about you and you’re not sure he wants you back, or even if he doesn’t want you back, you keep on doing the things that make you happy.

No, it isn’t an easy step, especially if your relationship was longer than a few weeks or months even.

The best advice I can offer?

Ignore him.

Literally, make him doubt his own existence for the next 21-45 days during No Contact. The No Contact period is essential for regaining your footing and start focusing on yourself. The No

Contact period allows you and him the time you both need to get past the feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. It gets you past the highly emotional post-break up phase where you say things you will ultimately regret.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Quit obsessing

Quit obsessing over what he is or isn’t doing. Focus on yourself and what you can and need to change. Who cares if he has a dating profile? You are not together. He isn’t begging for you back. Did I mention that pesky alpha male ego?

He won’t.

More than likely he won‘t even bother to contact you during the No Contact period. No worries.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

His feelings are hurt and society as a whole has not been overly accepting of men sharing their emotions. He has been taught that talking about his feelings and expressing his emotions makes him weak. We know otherwise.

Pay Attention to Your Needs

Allow yourself a good cry (or two) and start focusing more on yourself.

There is no guarantee he will come back, so do not remain in a miserable state waiting for him. Get back to the woman you used to be. The one he found exciting. The one he wanted to spend his future with. The one he made plans with.

Are you doing it for him?

NO.

You are doing it for you!

Make a List: Pros & Cons

Make a list of the pros and cons of the relationship.

Was he too controlling?

Did you have insecurity issues? Did he like to go out and party while you liked a night in? Was he great about bringing flowers to every date? Was your sense of humor spot on with his? There are so many factors to consider.

Consider the past, ever stay there, and also the future. Did your goals match?

Make a list of what you are specifically looking for in your man. Now, as hard as it may be (rose colored glasses and such), see how many of these qualities are matched by your ex. You may discover that you don’t really want him back.

Or, you may decide that some of his qualities are ones you never considered before. I know a stellar sense of humor is a must for any man I date. I can be sarcastically savage, so I need someone who can return it

List Number Two: His Concerns

Make a list of things that concerned him about you.

  • Were you too needy?
  • Were you a text gnat?
  • Were you overly available to him?
  • Did you get mad if he hung out with his friends?

Work on things that make YOU a better person, regardless of him. Therapy is a great tool and you needn’t feel guilty about going. All of us could benefit from a few good therapy sessions where we just get it all out.

List Number Three: Take Chances

Make a list of things that you have always wanted to do. Yes, this list may include things the two of you discussed doing together. Don’t wait for him. If you want to run with the bulls in Madrid, DO IT! That ballroom dancing class?

You should take it. Skydiving is on my list and I have researched several places locally that offer tandem and solo jumps. That tattoo? Get it. However, I will recommend never getting a name unless it is your child’s.
Make a list of the things you did BEFORE the relationship.

We have all been guilty of abandoning our friendships when our relationship started. Go back to the gym. Take the cooking class you always talked about. He didn’t like you dying your hair? Go for it! Rediscover who you were before the relationship consumed you.

After all, I’m guessing you were pretty fabulous already before he came into your life.

Resist Temptation

Resist the urge to text or call him. Again, I know how difficult it is. I find journaling to be a great way to express myself.

I don’t recommend emails or texts because it is all too easy to hit “Send” and regret it the instant you send it.

By physically writing it down, you not only make a record of it, but you can allow your emotions free reign. As time passes, go back and review what you could have accidentally sent. Would you really want him to see it?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Impress Yourself

Make your life the most exciting thing. It doesn’t have to suit everyone.

Enhance your intellect and study up on a subject that intrigues you. I went all nerdy and studied Russian. I took a basic course when we were dating and he adored the fact that I could banter to him in another language.

I enjoyed that power, so to speak, and really enjoyed being able to impress him in a way that most others could not. However, I was able to discover a great group of individuals who shared that passion and went with them to several Russian themed events.

Travel.

You know those places you always said you would go?

Go. Don’t wait for anyone to do it with you.

If you want, grab a girlfriend and go on the adventure of a lifetime.

You know, maybe even go to Las Vegas with the biggest, baddest bunch of Ungettable Girls ever to flaunt your new independence and learn from some pretty darn phenomenal examples how to be even more fabulous!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Pick Up New Skills

Show off your skills. Take an instructor’s course for whatever it is that you excel in. It may not interest all, but if you love it (and that type of passion shows), let your knowledge shine. Teach a fitness course if that interests you.

We all have special skills.

We all have passions.

Highlight your knowledge. Intelligence is so sexy!

Many of us have that pipe dream that we want to pursue. Write out a business plan.

Figure out what resources you need. Read up on how to start your business. Invest in yourself. Yes, it will impress him, but more so, it will prove to you exactly how valuable you are. You do not need him to succeed.

Embrace a New Goal

In the end, it shouldn’t matter whether you get him back or not. During this time you will come to the dawning realization that you are worthy of someone who treats you with respect and kindness, even if that person is yourself.

As silly as it may seem, check his relationship with his own mother. If he doesn’t respect her, chances are he won’t respect you either.

When you see him again, he will be blown away with how far you have come. You no longer live in that protective shell of him. You are so much more than what he left behind. Your brightness will shine. That happy glow will emanate from you and he will be left wondering why he let you go.

You may meet him for coffee or ice cream and casually explain to him that you have an important meeting and cannot stay. He will be left wondering what is more important than spending time with him. He will be puzzled that all of a sudden your life does not revolve around him and he is no longer the center of your attention.

By gaining your independence and showing off the real you, you have given him pause. You have given him something to think about. You are no longer that needy woman who just had to see him seven days a week. You no longer need to speak to or text him all day. Now he has to figure out a way how to get you back.

The woman he loved once is gone, but he suddenly realizes this new woman is so much more than he left behind. He now needs to find a way to commit to her. If she no longer puts up with his lame excuses or ignorant behavior, he really has to up his game. He has to change as well. And, let’s face it, break ups are never 100% either party’s fault.

If he doesn’t commit to her, someone else most definitely will. Men hate to lose the big prize. YOU are now that prize.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

He cannot get enough of you when you talk about your passions. He loves that gleam in your eye when you talk about base jumping; something he was always scared to do. Who is this magnificent new woman?

He may even begin to think of what he needs to do to get HER to commit to HIM. Let him think these things. Be flirty. Be fun. Be Ungettable in a great way. Leave a bit of mystery as to what you have been up to during your time apart. Be light. Be mysterious.

Let him wonder who you may have dated. Let him wonder what you did with those hours you used to spend with him. Let him wonder who gets your sweet Good Morning and Goodnight texts.

You are no longer an open book to him. He has to work a bit harder. He will be left questioning how he could have let you go. You can still play the damsel in distress at times, but he will be blown away by the woman you have become. You are much stronger than you can even imagine.

The thing is, you have to get out there and do it. Quit focusing on him and what went wrong. By pursuing what makes you happy, you become a wonderful and vibrant woman, capable of handling any mess that gets in your way, your ex included.

By showing him what a bright and breezy woman you are, you are awakening in him the need and want to commit. In order for him to win the prize of you, he will need to become a man and face up to the challenges of winning your commitment. If he steps up, more power to him. If he doesn’t… Guess what? There are so many other fish in the sea. Go fishing!

You are a catch and he knows it. Now it is up to him to make the commitment of being a better man and walking away with the prize. By making yourself the Ungettable Girl, you have automatically raised his standards.

What to Read Next

Leave a Reply to Lu Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

36 thoughts on “What To Do After a Breakup”

  1. Eva

    September 19, 2020 at 3:16 pm

    Hello, um my boyfriend and I broke up like 2 days ago. We’ve been together for almost a year and I do have to say it has been a rocky road, but we where both willing to keep trying. There are certain things that I communicated with him that I didn’t really like and he never said anything just always took it in and the night of the break up we talked & he kind of let everything out and I was so shocked bc I had no idea he felt that way. I pleaded with him and pleaded to give us one more chance that now that I know all this I will do better and he said no. I don’t understand? I really don’t. After all the chances I have him, I gave us why did he not want to give me the chance? It is honestly so hard. Before coming here I wanted to text him. To ask him to give us another shot and reading your post I’ve come to realize I must not, but the hurt is so deep. I miss him.

  2. Sarah

    October 31, 2017 at 5:36 am

    My LDR boyfriend broke up with a month ago, we were together for a year and a half and were 6 months into the LDR. His reason for breaking up with me switches from being unsure about his feelings to not liking the distance. I wish I’d done no contact sooner but I didn’t find out about it until today. We’ve talked everyday since the break up, and call at least 3 times a week for anything ranging from 10 mins to 2 hours (most of which I initiate). I’m going to see him in about three weeks time to spend a month with him (booked tickets before the break up and since we decided to stay friends, we’ve planned a couple of things already, and some of my stuff is still over at his). I’ve stupidly begged and asked him to take me back every week or so. Last week I was busy for a few days and couldn’t reply to his messages much, and his friend messaged me if I knew anything because he had been in a bad mood for the past couple days (I didn’t know he was in a bad mood), and I think it may have been because of my lack of response to his messages. I told him a couple of days ago that I needed 2 weeks to get over the break up and asked him to leave me alone, which only lasted 2 days because I missed him too much. Is it too late now to start NC? And if not how long should I do it for?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2017 at 7:13 pm

      Hi Sarah,

      It’s not yet too late, do at least 30 days..

  3. Jones99

    August 24, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    My ex broke up with me 5 weeks ago. I didn’t take it well and there is possibly (highly likely) another girl involved. Unfortunately for the last month I have kept in contact with him, each time trying to get him back by begging pleading etc. He was giving such mixed messages and I have found it hard to give him space as we were together for 5 years and I miss him so much.It’s got to the point where he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore or again.
    Is it still possible to commence No Contact considering a month has already passed and he is already seeing someone else?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 11:28 pm

      Hi Jones,

      you can still do it. Check this one:
      You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

  4. minchin

    August 22, 2017 at 6:33 am

    Hi. I’ve been in your website and known its glories years before but I did not think that I will be posting here one day.
    I hope you could help me. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me after almost 4 years of being together. We broke up 3 months ago, I was the one who initiated the break up because I got close to somebody. Somehow after a month we got back together. Only then that I knew that he was leaving for abroad on September. I only have a month to get back with him before he leaves the country. He first blocked me on messenger but unblocked me 4 days after. but he unfriended me on facebook. It is day 6 of my no contact with him today and I miss him so bad. I want to get back with him. What can I do to make him come back to me? Please help me. Thank you so much.! More power!

    1. Minchin

      September 10, 2017 at 1:54 am

      Hi Amor! Yes I have checked that one and it’s pretty amazing! It answered the questions that have been troubling my mind. 😀
      I am on the 15 th day of NC and my ex messaged me two days ago where he just said “hello”. Of course, I didnt reply because that is what NC is right? 🙂 I like the idea that he waits for my reply and I know he is thinking about me. I can see him always online though.
      He is leaving the country in a week and I don’t know when I should finish the NC to start talking to him again. I miss him a lot and I want to get back together. Thanks Amor!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 14, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      That’s good..Do at least 30 days

    3. Minchin

      September 5, 2017 at 10:25 am

      Thank you for replying Amor! <3
      it's been 20 days since we broke up and I am on the 10th day of Strict No Contact.
      I also did what you told me to do: I didn't follow him on Ig and I did not send him a friend request. I also stopped sneaking on his facebook and instagram accounts. In addition to that, I am doing better in my review for an upcoming test and I am actively posting photos with other people on facebook and instagram. —- I feel better nowadays than during the first week of our break up.
      I have read " Will my ex boyfriend forget me" and BIG THANKS! because I learned that he will not forget about me.
      Here is another thing that I am not clear with: HE KEEPS ON BLOCKING AND UNBLOCKING ME ON MESSENGER
      Yesterday, I saw that I was blocked but I just checked today that I am blocked again and it is the 4th or 5th time, I think.
      What could be the reason of his actions Amor? Could it be that he wants to reach out or not?

      I am determined to have him back and restart our relationship. I will do my best to stick to the plan. 🙂
      By the way, I am enjoying your podcasts and it feels good to know a site like this! Thank you!!!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 7, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      Thank you! that’s a good sign.. that means he checks your posts and trying to stop himself from doing it. Have you checked this one?
      Why Did My Ex Boyfriend Unfollow Me On Social Media?

    5. Minchin

      September 1, 2017 at 7:37 am

      Hi Amor. I’ve visited the “How to date yourself” and I am currently trying them one by one.
      Now, when I logged into my instagram account, my ex accepted my request to follow him but HE CANCELLED his request to follow me. :'(
      He already unblocked me on messenger for the third time but he is not contacting me. I think he has really moved on :'(
      I want to reach out to him but I have to stay on NC. Since he is not sending me any message at all, does that mean that he doesnt miss me? Did he forget about me? :'(
      He seems to be happy and unaffected by the break up. Yet he is still in a relationship in Fb and keeps on blocking and unblocking me.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 3, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      don’t send a friend request or follow yet but make your posts or account public. Have you checked this one:
      Will My Ex Forget About Me?

    7. minchin

      August 29, 2017 at 10:43 am

      Hi again Amor
      I am doing my best to resist the urge to contact him.
      I logged into my another facebook account ( in which we are friends) and I saw that most of his posts were about gaming and lifestyle stuff- nothing personal EXCEPT for his status that ‘ Sometimes you could only love people from a distance”
      I also saw that he requested me to follow me on my Instagram account 5 days ago.
      – I am thinking that maybe his mom was the one controlling him all along since he will go to the USA with his mom to help her finance his siblings and we will be in an LDR.

      My question is, do I still have a chance to be reconciled with him?
      Will he forget me and his feelings for me before?:'(
      How will I increase my chance of reconciliation with me if we are not friends on FB and that he blocked me?

      Sorry I am kinda sad that he will be leaving the country soon and it might take me until early next year to follow him to the U.S.
      thank you for helping me maintain my sanity. I will wait for your response. <3 XOXO

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Allow him to follow you so he can see your posts.. Your posts are your indirect way of showing him your improvements and that you’re not chasing because you’re just moving on, to make him regret

    9. Minchin

      August 28, 2017 at 6:19 am

      Hi again Amor!
      So here’s what happened, I posted photos of me on facebook publicly with my recent exam scores and with people (me and my ex are not friends). I also didn’t bother him anymore after his message to me 2 days ago.
      This mornig, I just saw that he blocked me again on messenger and it is the THIRD time. He is still in a relationship on his facebook and indicating our anniversary. – Do you have any idea what is going on in his mind please? He’s been blocking me and unblocking me. Should I stay no contact or approach him until he initiates the talk?
      Thank you so much. XOXO!

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 28, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      yup stay in no contact.. that’s probably to prevent himself from checking your posts..

    11. Nam

      August 24, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      Thanks for the response Amor 🙂 I appreciate it. You guys are angels 🙂
      Just an update:
      – he messaged me the other day thru fb messenger. First that he said was “hello” and I was so desperate that I immediately replied “hello” to him too.
      I didnt see his next message where he said “sorry for being too rude leaving and take care always”- on which I didnt respond anymore. And then he said “hello too” which was a response to my “hello” to him.
      – i can always see him online even if he is on duty during the night (we are both nurses btw)
      – he did not reached out to me after his last message in which I did not replied at all and just seen it.

      What more can I do? Please? 🙁

    12. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 10:03 pm

      That means you need to restart the count. Check this one:
      EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

    13. minchin

      August 23, 2017 at 5:26 am

      Thank you Amor 🙂
      Just an update:
      1. he sent me a message yesterday thru messenger. he said “hello” at first and I made the wrong move when I replied”Hello”to him. I did’t notice that he had another message saying that He was sorry for being rude leaving me and told me to take care of myself.- I just seen it and I did not reply. I can see him always online but he is not sending me messages anymore.
      2. He is still in a relationship on fb and the date there is our anniversary.

      What should I do now?..I still love him. but I dont know if he loves me too.
      thank you so much!

    14. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 22, 2017 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Minchin,

      don’t rush.. that makes you desperate.. Just approach it like a long distance relationship.. Focus in improving yourself and be active in posting.

  5. Jess

    August 19, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me 6 days ago. He wanted to break up a month but i persuaded him to try and we’ll do things better. However, we didn’t try. He told me he tried to have feelings for me since a month ago but he just didn’t. We met up yesterday and hung out. I stupidly went through everything that i thought could make our relationship work (practically begging). We’ve decided that we’ll have 2 weeks no contact (at all) but if he missed ‘us’ and had feelings he’d message me sooner. He’s going to message me after NC. He told me last time and 6 days ago, when we broke up officially, that he cared about me a lot (he emphasised ‘a lot’) and really wants to be friends if i want to and can.

    We were in a relationship for 5 months, both our firsts, so we were both keen and excited. within the first month i said ‘i love you’. Now i realised since breaking up that i didn’t properly love him at all. We moved way too fast which is a reason why everything ended with him not having feelings for the past month and a half.

    I want to try again but fresh. Forget about the old relationship. But he doesn’t want to. He did say that he really really liked me for the first 3 and a half months though and did start to love me.

    I asked him what he thought went wrong with us, he replied with ‘i don’t know, i just lost feelings and wasn’t happy’.
    I know he still cares. I really want to try again and improve. What can i do to get him attracted to me again and want to start a fresh relationship that isn’t like the last?

    Oh, i should also add that he had his head set from the 3rd month that we weren’t going to last and doesn’t want to try again because he apparently ‘knows’ it won’t work.
    How do i attract him again and get him out of this mind frame?
    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 22, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      That’s not a no contact period because he knows it.. it will only be a no contact period if he doesn’t know it, you’re actively improving yourself and in posting.. So, that means you can only count days of nc after that agreed two weeks.

  6. Rachael

    August 18, 2017 at 5:29 am

    my bf of 5 years finally broke up with me about a month ago. we were incompatible from the start and i knew it wouldn’t last forever but he became my best friend. the breakup was mutual and respectful and for a full week afterwards we were still texting like best friends. but then i admitted to him that i had been cheating on him at the end of our relationship and he immediately wanted nothing to do with me. of course i don’t blame him for that and i don’t think we should ever get back together as boyfriend and girlfriend but i do miss my best friend. do you think it’s possible he will ever want to be friends again? should i bother trying to find out since i know that he thinks it’s unhealthy for him to even talk to me right now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 18, 2017 at 5:39 pm

      HI Rachael,

      Yeah someday when much time has passed.. It depends from a person to person but a safe bet would be maybe after 6 months or a year he would have moved on..

  7. Gigi

    August 14, 2017 at 10:21 am

    Hi. So I just purchased the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and it has been helpful.
    I met a guy last February and immediately liked him so much. He was everything I wished for a lifelong partner.
    He came out of a really toxic relationship 2 month prior and didn’t want to be in a serious relationship again. Being stupid thinking that he might fall for me, I accepted his proposal of fwb. But we were very happy, we did all the things normal couples do minus the official relationship status. He admitted he had feelings for me and he was getting attached to me. We would hang out 3-4 times a week.
    Last week, i told him i had feelings for him. And he was like sorry, i can’t reciprocate your feelings. The next day, he said he wanted to end the relationship. I immediately started No Contact, but broke down in the 5th day, went to his house and asked him to change his mind about us. While there, I also learned that he met his ex.
    So, i guess my question is being the rebound and fwb, what are the odds of me getting back together with him? I am ready to do anything and everything i can do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 14, 2017 at 9:14 pm

      Honestly it’s a small chance..unless you genuinely change and value yourself more over getting him back

  8. Lu

    August 11, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    When you start talking with your ex again after the no contact rule, how much do you divulge about the guys you have went on dates with etc.? Do you share if asked and do you share if you aren’t asked? What about if he talks about the girls he has met?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Let him talk and act cool.. If he starts to talk about that, then you can too. Just don’t be too forward.

  9. Moon

    August 11, 2017 at 2:55 am

    So I’m on day 11 of no contact but I am still playing the online game we used to play together everyday, but of course he’s not playing anymore. Should I stop playing the game? I don’t want him to think that I’m waiting for him to come online.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 4:49 pm

      better if you can stop it and do something else..

  10. Lynn

    August 10, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    In my long way to get my ex back I am in the “friends” stage since three months or so. Lately he situation is: sometimes he didn’t text me in a week, the next he text me three times in a row just because something made him thinking of me. Sometimes things got kinda intimate… But then a week without texting had passed, so I texted him on Sunday and he just answered once (I mean, my following text was the last and the didn’tread it until two days later). So now I am not texting him until he does, if if does (I am not a GNAT, I almost had been before getting NC but after that everything got better). I tried to met once (we live in different cities but near) but he gave me an excuse (part was true but still he would have ended his work on time for meeting for a little while). I am moving to his city in a month in a half for studies but he doesn’t know yet. During last months and weeks he let me know that he is still attracted to me and that I made him happy (after the break up, recently) with certain things about his birthday (a month ago). Futhermore, his texts during last months (in ths friends stage) are nice, sometimes kinda warm and full of emojis, he is not being cold or distant (he was before NC).
    But…there is that girl on social media chasing him. I meet her since a year and in the last month she started to like, comment and share EVRYTHING he posts, she started to like every movie he likes, buying related things, posting content that he would like (sometimes he reacts, sometimes not). I know that they are friends now but I don’t know if anything more. She lives in the opposite side of the country and he hates long distance relationships (it was a problem in ours and there is only one hour and a half by train between us) but I’m still scared. She posts “criptic” messages to a special someone, to certain crush… and I can understand who this person is… I don’t know if he is in a “more than friends” status with her but I am so scared… This girl seems like a bit “intense” and showing, sharing every thinking in social media and he wouldn’t like that but still…I am afraid. Whan I can do? (Obviously I never asked him anything and never would…I only know that two weeks ago he isn’t with anybody, due to a conversation we had, he wouldn’t have said certain things to me if… But thing may have changed)
    I am waiting him to text me, I prefer to do that, we kept certain balance in iniciating conversations (but as I told, two weeks ago he started three times, three days in a row, strange, but then he stopped…). What can I do to make him “chase” me again and indirectly make him forget this girl if there is anything more between them?
    Thank you very, very much

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 10, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      focus in yourself instead of the other girl. Ungettable girls don’t see other girls as competition because they know they themselves are the threat to the game. They focus in themselves and to what the guy feels when he’s with her or talks to her or sees her and how to do that.

  11. Monica

    August 9, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    How do I keep the 30 day no contact rule if I’m forced to see him soon?
    Long story short: My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 weeks without giving me a proper excuse. All he said was ‘It’s not working out, we should break up.’ From his friends I found out that he was worried about us not having enough time for each other. We both travel a lot due to our jobs. It’s sort of a LDR because sometimes we used to barely see each and had to travel to meet. (When I was off working, I would go and visit him and vice versa.) It never seemed to be problem before. We have been doing this long-distance since the beginning of our relationship and never had any issues.
    Now that he broke up with me with no explanation I feel like I want to apply that no contact rule for at least 3 months, because I’m so frustrated! I haven’t spoken to him since the breakup, even though he messaged me and called. Sending me those chessy ‘I still care about you. ‘This is for your best. One day you will understand. Hope we can be friends one day.’ messages.
    But the thing is I will have to see him next week (our friends are getting married. We are both invited.) So my question is how to act? Do I act casual pretend like we acquaintances/strangers/pals/best friends etc?
    Do I avoid him or do I approach him? And what questions or answers to give him? What if he asks why I haven’t replied to him?

    1. Lynn

      August 10, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      You are right Amor but I am so worried…and now he is not texting me…and I’m not texting him, I need to wait until he starts a conversation again…two weeks ago he did it three times in a row, as I told you in the previous post but now… I don’t know how to make him wanting to contact again, he has that days and I think he’ll never talk to me again and until this time, he always did…and Sunday his answer was nice but not more… I was thinking in telling him that I’m moving to his city next time he text but…I don’t know what to do…
      I read several times the UG post, I find it very useful but it is difficult for me…sometimes I try (I was kind a UG when we met) but then he starts to do the same, I got jealous and depressed…obviously he doesn’t know how I feel, in our text I always act relaxed and funny but… I’ll keep trying but I am so worried… Thank you a lot again!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 2:12 pm

      just a reminder, being ungettable doesn’t mean not knowing boundaries. You have to know your standards, your limits, self respect and when to stop.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 10, 2017 at 4:16 pm

      Hi Monica,

      just be civil. If he asks tell him you’ve been really busy because of a lot of new things you’ve started.. change the topic and then walk away.. avoid him discreetly.