So you know that your makeup is on point and your brand new outfit could not compliment your body any better. The lighting is perfect and you just know the selfie you snapped will get a ton of likes.
No filters needed today!
You hit that post button and head out with the girls.
The notifications start rolling in.
Your best friend comments telling you to kill it, your mom swoons about what a beautiful young woman you are, the likes keep on coming….
And then it happens.
The notification you were secretly hoping for but were too scared to hope for… Your Ex’s name pops up as the 27th “like”.
At first you’re flooded with happiness.
He noticed you!
But then it hits you.
Wait… What does this mean?!
Does he miss me?
Does he love me!?
Is this a game?!
It’s easy to get carried away in this situation and lose sight of what was really important to begin with (you! Looking fabulous. Duh!) Whenever you feel like you are getting anxious regarding a situation involving your Ex do something to take yourself out of your own mind until you are able to view things logically.
To help take away some of the anxiety and concern surrounding a like from your Ex is the following list.
So, let’s sit back, relax, and think about it… What DOES it mean when your Ex likes a photo on social media?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizLiking Reason #1: He Recognizes Hottness When He Sees It
Why do we like other people’s pictures on social media?
Because we see something that we like.
Either their smile, that spark in their eye, or that gorgeous curl they’ve put in their hair. While men may not think about how great a girl’s contour and highlight look, they know a good-looking picture when they see it.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhen an Ex is passing through Facebook or Instagram he may just hit that like button purely because of the physical or sexual attraction that the photo elicits. If this is the reason for the attention it is important to note that there is not necessarily any emotional component attached to the action. It’s important to be cautious of this reasoning.
If the like is shortly followed up by a “Damn girl!” or a less obvious “Hey, what’s up?” Be wary. Continue no contact if you are currently in it and stick to the No-Sex policy if you’ve completed No Contact.
While it is tempting to give in to the physical desires that you and your Ex may feel, this will only result in a Friends With Benefits situation and will leave him with nothing to chase after.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizLiking Reason #2: Who are These Guys Liking Her Pic? I’ll just have to sneak on in here…
Men are territorial creatures just as much as they are curious creatures.
If your Ex sees a gorgeous photo of you online he is going to start keeping tabs on it.
As more fellas start clicking that like button on your bomb photo your Ex is going to start thinking.
Wait, he’ll think, who are these guys? Why are they liking her pictures?
His little brain will start to wonder and he’ll think to himself: I know!
This will teach her.. and then bam, there he is.
Liking away for the soul purpose of ensuring that he is the one you’re focusing on. It’s not that he wants you for himself. He just doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. It’s immature and childish and should not be tolerated.
Indications that your Ex may be sending you likes for this reason would be if you notice a sharp increase in the number of women that he is friends with on social media; if he starts posting pictures or tagging other women to try and elicit jealousy on your part; or if he starts injecting certain little remarks into conversation.
Things like “So… Go on any dates lately?” are a sure sign that your fellow is liking out of jealousy.
While this is NOT an indication that he wants to get back together, it is a good sign. Your Ex would not be jealousy if there was no feeling present. In other words, his jealousy means that he cares. The most important thing for you to do in this situation is remain mysterious by not giving flat out answers.
Even if you aren’t dating anyone and all the guys liking your pictures are just friends, he doesn’t need to know that.
Also, do your best to keep your jealousy under control. Recognize that what he is doing is out of pain and that the best revenge is happiness. Starting an argument or throwing out accusations will make you come across as needy and a little crazy.
Liking Reason #3: Leavers Remorse
The other day I bought a dress in a certain color.
When I got home and put it on I realized that I didn’t like the color at all. I instantly wanted the other color that I had seen at the store.
Buyer’s remorse is something we have all had.
Leaver’s remorse is similar.
If your Ex has another woman (or women) in his life and he is dropping likes on your photos he may be experiencing this phenomenon.
In this situation he is regretting his decision to leave one yard for another that’s grass may not be so green.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizAgain, be cautious.
Men don’t like conflict and they have a nasty habit of avoiding it. While he may be willing to shoot likes your way this does not mean that he is going to drop the other woman and come crawling back.
That being said, it does mean that he is having doubts and those doubts will work their way into the relationship with the new girl and crack the foundation it was built on. Keep doing you and let time take it’s toll on them.
When I realized that I wanted the other dress I took the one that I had purchased back to the store and exchanged it.
Eventually your Ex will do the same with you and the other woman.
Liking Reason #4: Friends Supportin’ Friends
During research for this article I asked an Ex what a reason he might like a photo of an Ex-girlfriend would be.
He stated “well, if we’re friends….”
So there it is, straight from the mouth of an Ex.
Your guy may just be liking your photo because he sees you as a friend and wants to support you as just that, a friend. Obviously, there is no hidden meaning if this is the reason your Ex is liking your picture.
He was just scrolling through his feed saw that his friend (you.) posted a picture and tapped a quick like on it before scrolling on to the next thing. Figuring out if your Ex is liking your photos for this reason is more difficult than the others.
Your Ex will be open to talking with you, he’ll be happy to see you out dating and spending time with others. He may even be receptive to meeting up with you for coffee or dinner. But only because he sees you as a friend and does not have romantic or sexual feelings towards you any longer.
This situation can be particularly painful and feel unfair.
Do your best to maintain your composure and avoid the “How can you feel like this?” conversation at all costs.
If he is purely liking your photos because you’ve been friend-zoned review the EBR material on how to get yourself out of that sticky situation while continuing to enjoy your life and live it to the fullest.
Liking Reason #5: Let The Games Begin
Some men, sadly, are just plain mean. Some men enjoy watching you sweat and like keeping you in a state of constant confusion.
This is cruel behavior… but it happens.
In order to know if your Ex is liking your pictures in order to keep you in suspense you have to take yourself out of the “he wants me” mind set. You have to think logically and learn to evaluate both the good and the bad signs.
It’s so easy to only see the fact that he is liking your pictures and not the bad juju that will come along with this reasoning.
Your Ex will likely come and go. He will like your picture and send you a message saying “cute pic babe” and then ignore everything you say for three weeks.
Do yourself a favor if you start to suspect that your Ex is a game player- step back and restart No Contact.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizYou deserve more than to be some man child’s toy.
Respect yourself and stop responding to that behavior.
If he is a decent person in anyway he will realize that what he is doing is unfair and will stop doing it.
Liking Reason #6: He Wants You Back
Finally, the reason that we all hope for:
He is liking your pictures because he wants you back.
Wait!
There’s more!
Don’t stop reading here!
As nice as it would be to know that this is an option and to run with that notion, you just can’t do that. Absolutely do not make the assumption that this is the reason your Ex is liking your pictures.
In fact, until he says the words “I want you back” or some variation of that you should ALWAYS assume that this is NOT the reason he is liking your pictures. The only way that you will be certain that this is the reasoning is if he flat out tells you.
If you assume that he wants you back without him actually stating that he does you are going to be setting yourself up for heart ache and disappointment in the future.
There you have it.
The primary reasons that an Ex will like your photos on social media.
It’s important to note that these reasons are not mutually exclusive. Your Ex could like your picture because of all of the reasons above, none of the reasons above, or any creative mix of the reasons above.
Because of this you need to remain calm and try your best to avoid jumping to conclusions.
But wait! There’s more!
Liking Reason #7: Every Snowflake is Unique
And just like snowflakes, men are different too.
While the reasons above are fairly comprehensive, they will not cover everybody. Unique and varying situations will occur. Maybe your ex only liked your photo because you were wearing a turtle necklace and he really digs turtles.
Maybe your children were in the photo and he liked it only because of them. Use your knowledge of your man and your situation to come up with the most logical explanation for your situation.
It’s also important to note that an Ex may like one photo for one of the reasons above and then like another photo for another reason. People’s feelings are not etched in stone. They are fluid and change at all times. Always reevaluate and take into account your entire situation at the time of the “liking”.
Like so many things in the EBR community patience is ridiculously important. Remain calm and collected if an Ex likes your picture on social media. Recognize that the little notification that you receive from him means that he sees you.
He sees your progress towards happiness and he is either happy to see it or hurting in some way because of it. No matter what the reason for his “like” it is always a good thing and is a tiny victory for you.
But how do you proceed from here?
Ask him why he liked it?
Start sending him hourly messages (because, clearly, he’s looking for that)? Negative. You do nothing. You go out with your friends and let them post more pictures of you living your life happily. Whatever you’re doing now is getting in his head so just keep doing it.
The more positive images that he sees of you the more he is going to think Damn, why did I let her go… I need her back!
(This post was written by Elphie Upland)
Emily
December 31, 2021 at 10:36 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago, and am doing no contact just in case I change my mind. He was pushing me away after we committed, he’s a Peter Pan. He’s liked every picture I’ve posted almost right away, viewed my stories and texted me saying he’s grateful to have had me. I’m already at the point where I don’t believe I’ll try to reconcile, but what do you think he is trying to accomplish with his message and instagram?
Leli
December 19, 2020 at 1:32 pm
I started the non contact rule after resist yo do it, he call me a couple days ago because he needed something I have he even tried to explain what will do that night (lie) he didn’t expect me to drop his things by his home and bam there was his beautiful new girlfriend car (hurt) I just texted him your things are there he got surprised and said “thank you very much” after that probably his girl travel and txted me about my nice picture in Fb and is calling me like crazy but I’m not answering at least not right now I’ll suffer again
AnonGirl
August 5, 2020 at 7:53 am
My ex wanted a break last November. I waited
hoping we would get back together. In May he told me he had moved on to someone else. He kept sending me money for my upkeep uptil last month. I’m on nocontact exept for thank yous to his money sent. He keeps watching my Instagram statuses non-stop. He doesn’t post on Instagram. Last month he dialled me on WhatsApp by ‘mistake’, sent me a WhatsApp message several days later then retracted it immediately, sent me a birthday message on my Instagram post yesterday saying I have a ‘beautiful smile’. I responded courteously while all I wanted to do was to scream expletives at him. What on Earth does he want??
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 5, 2020 at 11:49 pm
Hey there so it sounds as if your ex is keeping you available to him or wants friendship even though he has moved on. I would suggest that you stop taking money from him and work on yourself in that time so that you are independent and no longer need him. And also read articles about the being there method too
Mari
May 13, 2020 at 9:52 am
My ex and I broke up 2 years ago after dating for several months. We are “friends” now on Instagram. He has a girlfriend that he never posts, but she posts a lot about him. I posted a love quote on Instagram, it said something like “You can physically FEEL when someone loves you…” and he liked the photo and commented “truth.” Why do you think he would do to that? Comment on an ex’s love quote? Does it seem like someone who is playing games? A part of me feels like he’s sending me a message about our love. What would you think? He always likes my selfies and sometimes comments with hearts or
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 13, 2020 at 10:26 am
Hi Mari, so he is making himself present to you, but he does have a GF. Either he is admiring you from afar or is just being friendly. If you want this guy back then I suggest you read an article about the being there method and then start reaching out – Once you understand the process
Bella
May 9, 2020 at 10:00 pm
I was dating a guy on March 2, and things were good. We met up and had one of the most amazing times together. Then in April we were suppose to meet again but things changed because of the covid 19. (We live 5 hours away) then he ended up breaking up with me on April 25th. But in the morning of April 25th he told me he loved me tremendously and then later that night he broke it off. Blocked me on social media. And then was with someone else but he broke it off with her. We didn’t talk for a week and something told me to message him on this past Sunday. Which I did things seem to be good. And then he stopped. It’s 3-4 days that I have been trying to talk to him and he reads my messages but won’t respond back to any of them.
It’s also weird because when we were together he never commented or liked/hearted my stuff on Facebook. And this passed week it’s been non stop with him liking and hearting and commenting.
I’m in love with him, I felt things I never felt before with anyone. And he has also told me a number of times that the feelings were mutual. Its Weird how he’s liking and commenting but won’t reply back to anything. What does this mean?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 19, 2020 at 12:57 pm
Hi Bella, it seems that he still wants to be on friendly terms but not together. I suggest that you spend some time in NC where you do not contact him on social media for some time so that he can fear that you are moving on. Work on your Holy trinity during this time
Allie
April 28, 2020 at 4:42 am
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago and I think he is having sex but not dating his ex before me. He and I have been talking on and off since it happened until last week when I asked him to hang out and he didn’t respond so I haven’t contacted him since, this week he is liking my pictures On insta and is viewing my snapchat stories etc. is he just avoiding conflict by not wanting to hang out? Why is he liking my stuff.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 1, 2020 at 6:11 pm
Hi Allie, I would say that the reason he is liking your posts etc is that he is still hoping you are an option to him. And keeping that line of communication open. If you know 100% that he is sleeping with his and and you want him back then once you have completed a No Contact period you need to follow the being there method.
Shar
February 4, 2020 at 4:38 pm
Myself and my ex of 3 years broke up a little over a week ago. We have had no contact since. He initially blocked me on Facebook then unblocked me 2 days later. We are not connected on social media anywhere. Today he liked my profile pic which is public. Why would he go out of his way to like it? Trying to get my attention maybe? Any thoughts much appreciated 🙂
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 4, 2020 at 9:46 pm
Hi Shar, the fact he went to like a photo of yours is just his way of showing he is thinking about you and shows he is also checking your social media, so make sure you are working the Ungettable work during your No Contact
Vicky
January 30, 2020 at 6:54 am
It’s 1:30am and I see that my ex liked a photo of me (a selfie) on instagram from 2 months ago. I haven’t posted anything on instagram since 2 months ago. Im trying to wonder… Is he trying to grab my attention? Cause he knows I am now happily in a relationship. Why would he randomly go search my username and like my 2 month old photo at 1:30am?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 30, 2020 at 10:38 pm
Clearly at that time you were on his mind. I would not react I would wait longer to see if he reaches out to you rather than reaching out to him just because of a like
Annan T.
June 3, 2019 at 1:07 am
Here’s my personal experience… I dated this guy for 6 months, and then we both went home for vacation (2 months of being separate). The relationship we had before the vacays was something most beautiful that ever happened in my life. During the vacays, we were on the phone all the time, chatting, video chatting, etc. Then I returned to work a few weeks before him. In the mean time, a ‘friend’ of his comes to his house to spend vacay in his country. He swears he’s just a good host. I get jealous and start fighting with him. Day after day I figure out things that he didn’t want to tell me before she arrived. They used to be friends with benefits yeara ago. he assumes that she is still interested in him, but he is interested in me and 100% sure he wants us to succeed. Then I figure out she booked in a hotel room for 2 of them at the beach. He swears those were separate beds and nothing happened. He admits it was a mistake. Then I ask him to introduce us. But he rejects. He says he is afraid I might say something that might offend his guest. Then I contact her. She says, they are just friends, no interest in him from her side. I calm down for a few days. They go to the wilderness for a tour. No electricity, no wi fi. And a night before she left, they slept together. He says it was a moment. He admitted to me what he did just because I wrote to her again asking for confirmation that nothing happened and she didn’t answer my messages any more. I am broken to pieces off course. Stop communicating with him. And they send him at work to another unit. Even though we split up, I have the feeling as if he is only waiting for me to post something to be the first person to hit the like. I feel confused but still very hurt and no reaction at all. And then, yesterday, I post a profile photo on Facebook. And guess what… no like. But a ‘ ♡’. Before we split up, I ask him if the two of them are the thing now. He was kind of offended that I even asked. It was like ‘off course we are not together’. What should I think ? I am confused, hurt and don’t know how to interpret his behaviour.
Kellyn
May 16, 2019 at 2:07 am
Hi Chris,
I had a question. What if my ex was a close friend before you dated him? I was dating my best friend, who then broke up with me or rather ghosted me when I asked if we were exclusive. Anyway, I have been successfully been in NC since then..I recently posted a picture on my social media which he immediately liked. I guess maybe because a new guy friend I met was also liking it, making my ex jealous… A week later he posted a picture on social media which I liked, since we were friends before, and I felt like a heel not liking his post when he had liked mine the week before..and I do still love him, a part of me was hoping he would text me or something since by liking his picture I was giving him an opening to end the awkward silence, but he didn’t text/call or anything…But now I wonder if I should have not liked his profile picture..Did I make a mistake by liking his picture, did he get the response he was looking for…If that’s the case, what should I do now?
Katie
January 30, 2019 at 3:18 pm
Hey Chris! I’ve purchased and followed your products. 1 year relationship, fight where he blamed me for everything that led to his ghosting in late November, found your program later, NC, then sent two messages. One response a few words, the other was completely ignored a couple weeks ago. I didn’t send a third message yet. He hasn’t been “liking” my Instagram, but for the first time since November he’s been “viewing” my Instagram stories. I’ve been posting some UG stuff, as recommended. Does the information about guys liking posts also apply to my situation where he’s started viewing?
Chris Seiter
January 31, 2019 at 1:30 am
HI Katie! Shame on him for blaming you for everything. Never is a breakup the fault of one person. Yes, it does apply and remember to think of this process in terms of small steps over time.
Misty
December 14, 2018 at 12:25 pm
Hi I have a question about a guy I’m currently dating. Is it a big deal if he likes his ex’s pictures on Instagram? I told him I didn’t like how he likes girls pics all the time & he stopped doing it but one day he was out drinking & the next day I saw that he likes his ex’s pic & I was very mad. I told him & he unliked it but has assured me he has no interest in her anyways. He always asks who I’m texting when I’m on my phone & I tell him because I’m not doing anything wrong & he knows it. He’s let me look at his phone before but now changed his password. I don’t even lock my phone because I have nothing to hide. He’s always told me when girls send him stuff & he sent a Snapchat to his ex & other girls of us together so they know he’s with someone but he is younger than i am so I’m not sure if I should be concerned. He tells me he loves me & will always be honest with me & has been so far so I want to trust him but now his ex’s Instagram is private a day after & the timing seems too weird. he does show me everything but I have a hard time trusting people because of my ex. Is it bad for a guy to like girls pics or not something I should care about?
Chris Seiter
December 14, 2018 at 11:58 pm
Hi Misty!
Guys are notorious at doing a little social media stalking. Its not necessarily a bad thing. For some, its wired in their mind to know what is going on. Little pangs of jealousy or curiosity enters the picture. We all do it to some extent. unless it evolves to actual communications, I wouldn’t be too concerned about it.
Emc
December 9, 2018 at 2:11 pm
I posted a pic of me at a holiday party. It is me in middle with cute guy on one side and girl on other. I thought it would elicit a small amount of jealousy – she is having fun with other guys. But instead he LIKED the pic …. Does this mean I have been totally friend zoned???
Yari
October 16, 2018 at 12:45 pm
Hi. My ex and I are friends on Facebook and he is always liking my photos and posts. I’m afraid this means that I have been friend-zoned since he has told me after the break up that there is nothing else he can offer aside from friendship. In this case, is it still possible to win him back?
Chris Seiter
October 17, 2018 at 1:17 am
Hi Yari!
Not so sure if you have been friend zoned. It takes two to play that game. Take a look at executing your ex recovery plan by coming up to speed on how its all done from a NC angle. I offer lots of resources, so tap into my books, posts, videos, and Podcasts!
Flavia
August 31, 2018 at 8:03 pm
It’s been a month since I ended a three months long relationship with this guy.
It happened because, when I confessed my feelings for him and asked about being exclusive, he told me that he had feelings for me too, but he wasn’t prepared for an exclusive relationship at the moment, and that if there was anything bothering me, we could try to talk about it and work things out.
At first, I’d considered continuing the relationship, but then I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to be with anybody else but him, and that I was trying to adapt to him, not because I thought it would be best for me, but to keep him by my side. So I broke up with him.
Now, I’m having second thoughts. I’m thinking that maybe I was too inflexible, too strict, because I didn’t accept polygamy. He’d suggested to talk about what bothered me and figure it out together, and I’d, on the other hand, “gave up”. That’s how I feel about breaking up with him.
I’ve been avoiding contact with him, unfollowed him on Instagram, deleted our Whatsapp conversations and photos of him on my phone. I’ve been focusing on myself, reading a lot, writing about my feelings, going out with friends. But I still miss him and want him back.
He still orbits on my Instagram, watches all of my stories, likes some photos… I’ve contacted him two times only, just to send memes, and he’s responded right away, tried to keep the conversation going…
Last night, I ended up sending him a “hi, how’s your life going?”, and then I told him about this birthday gift that I wasn’t able to give to him, that it’s still sitting at my closet, and that I thought it would be best availed by him than by my closet, haha. So I suggested for us to meet, in order to deliver his gift. He responded promptly and seemed happy to be invited. He even mentioned that we could talk a little and grab a coffee somewhere, so it didn’t have to be only about delivering the gift. We’ll meet on sunday night.
I want to know if he misses me and if he feels the same, but I don’t know if I should try to reconnect with him and work things out together, or if I’m illuding myself and should move on because of our incompatibility.
Chris Seiter
September 1, 2018 at 1:06 am
Hi Flavia….yes…some guys scare easy when words like commitment and exclusive is used. So go into that meeting and just enjoy each other’s company. Avoid relationship talk. Think little steps. Try to have a few more of these little fun outings going forward. One step at a time. And by golly, go pick up my book so you have the best information at your fingertips!
Aicha
October 30, 2017 at 3:03 pm
“Recognize that the little notification that you receive from him means that he sees you.”
There are so much comforting truth to this single sentence and that should be enough for so much of us still struggling…sometimes you don’t want your ex back per say, sometimes you just want to be “seen” abd validated as you so beautifully put it.
Thank you for that article.
Fred
July 1, 2017 at 4:42 am
Hi Elphie….I follow this website as I know the owner and I have to say this is one of the best posts I have read in a long time. Chris has some great dedicated guest post writers….really talented…and of course Chris himself is super brilliant with his prose. So you are really shining!
I have to say you really deserve some serious kudos for this fascinating and well composed article. You have an excellent flair for the English language along with great command of syntax, grammar, punctuation tone, humor, content structure and many other elements that make up really stand out composition.
Of course, I am talking about the boring technical writing stuff….which you nailed! But it is the quality of the content and relevant insights and dedication to the material that I was most impressed with.
For example, these gems you wrote are still bouncing around in my head:
“Men are territorial creatures just as much as they are curious creatures.”
“And just like snowflakes, men are different too.”
Who says one can’t be a bit poetic when giving out relationship advice!
I sure hope you are able to guest post more in the future as your point of view not only dovetails well with the general advice found on this website…it is just a pleasure to read such well articulated content.
And Amor….I would appreciate very much if you could kindly pass on my comments to Elphie if you have her contact information.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Hi Fred!
I’ll forward this to Chris because I don’t have Elphie’s email 🙂