How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend V. 2.0

1,117 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has A Girlfriend -Version 2.0-”

Kate

February 13, 2019 at 1:02 am

Hi Chris,
I should also mention her mum got him a new job working with her. Given your expert knowledge. Do you think I should approach her like a rebound, or like something more serious?

Chris Seiter

February 14, 2019 at 3:39 am

HI Kate! Time is the real arbitrator in matters like this.

Kate

February 12, 2019 at 10:52 pm

Hi, I am confused about the status of my ex and his new gf.
It has now been 6 months since we broke up, he first messaged her on Tinder 3.5 months after we broke up and became official with her 3 weeks later, and I know he was messaging other women from Tinder during this time, they have now been together almost 2 months and seem quite happy together. We see each other quite a bit because we have kids.
– the weekend he first messaged her he bought me a Space-Jam T-shirt, he has bought himself all the male ones
– his hid the relationship status change on fb from me
– he started avoiding me
– when she came up in conversation he referred to her as ‘a friend’
– he doesn’t post a lot but she posts ALL THE TIME, my friend knew her years ago and says shes whiny, but she always posts on fb, almost daily, there is a post involving him once every 3 days on average.
– I confronted him about her relating to the kids, so then he knew that I knew
– he re-gifted her a bracelet from his first rebound that says “his queen” while wearing one saying “her King”
– When I saw this on fb and laughed at the re-gifting he got defensive and made a point of telling me that it was from Wish, so not expensive
– he stopped avoiding me
– He spends all his time with her, he told me he doesn’t like his housemates, so he’s never really home (so he’s with her)
– he has tagged me in a few posts on insta and sometimes watches my (rare) snapchat stories
– he doesn’t really have his own friends, he has added a lot of hers on fb and insta, including her mother
– he responded well when tagged him in a post on fb.
– he tells me about all his plans (going to this thing, then it’s her friends birthday, so if we feel up to it, we’ll be going to that place later)
– changed his night with the kids so he could spend V day with her.
– we were an opposites-attract couple, they seem to be a lot more compatible (seafood, steak and wine&cheese night, I am vegetarian and don’t like wine) I think he also likes the freedom of being able to go out all the time without kids, which she doesn’t have.
Any thoughts on this? we’re past the point of no-contact, but I am still doing limited contact

Chris Seiter

February 13, 2019 at 12:34 am

So limited NC seems like a fit. You should invest in my ex recovery Program as there is so much more info in my 485 page eBook than I can cover here!

Alex

January 12, 2019 at 3:52 pm

Hello, my ex broke up with me a week before Christmas. I did all the mistakes- the begging and all. We had dated for a year and eight months and even discussed marriage and our careers together. Because we go to a very small community college together, I see him all the time. A week after the break up, I implemented NC. I have succesfully done 17 days of no contact! I am extremely proud of my success! Anyway, I also dyed my hair, began working out, and got into a writing mentorship program. I fell in love with myself again. On IG, he would be the first to watch my story and the first to look through my posts. During the 1st week of NC, he emailed me, sent me messages on blogs and other things. He spammed my instagram. After two weeks of NC, we went back to college. I find out he began dating another girl. I know that it’s a rebound. He still looks at me and show signs. He blocked me on social media (again) and all that.

I honestly felt hopeless but I just carried on. I don’t know what to do though. I AM continuing NC, because there’s nothing else to do. I don’t know what to do after, if I shoulf contact him or just wait it out for a bit. In the meantime, I’m still gonna be happy with myself no matter what.
Karyn

December 29, 2018 at 12:06 am

Hi Chris, me and my ex had a normal breakup. We both had closure. I didn’t text him for a Month and we still smiled and waved when we seen each other. After a month of no contact, he got a new gf and they have announced being official the day before Christmas. I am still doing the no contact but i really care about him and the reason he broke up with me is because he said he tried seeing us as a couple but he could only see is as good friends. Basically, a lost of connection. What do you think?

Chris Seiter

December 29, 2018 at 2:09 am

Hi Karyn!

I know it hurts when the ex gets a new girlfriend. Perhaps we are looking at a rebound. NC is the right choice for lots of reasons. Tap into my eBooks or other resources to help you going forward!

Kate

December 27, 2018 at 5:00 am

Hi chris,
There is no healing on my side. 4 months of limited contact and I’ve still only eaten 1.5 meals in the past 5 days, and haven’t slept through the night in 6 months.
The other problems come is that the relationship with the new girlfriend WILL be more fun as no little kids. I also can’t get a life because all I can do is work, barely pay my rent and look after my kids. I’m always at home and he knows it.

Chris Seiter

December 27, 2018 at 8:46 pm

Hi Kate!

Healing and recovery is most important. If you cannot employ some of the things I talk about in my Program to find that emotional balance, then you may want to talk to a therapist or counselor that can help you put things in perspective and undertake some activities that can get your on the right track.

Kate

December 26, 2018 at 10:14 am

Hi Chris,
I try to apply radio-silence. With 2 kids and a lot of things joint/intwined after 7 years, proper no contact is impossible, especially over Christmas and the holidays. We also made an agreement when we broke up to put the kids first and spend time together as a family.
He’s being extremely selfish, spiteful and self destructive at the moment. But my question is can you have more than 1 rebound?

Chris Seiter

December 26, 2018 at 10:07 pm

I hear you Kate…its not always the most effective strategy to implement successfully when you have children and other issues intertwined. I agree, kids come first…always. But you can still choose to not communicate with him when it does not involve these other matters. NC also is about your own healing and recovery. Can he have more than 1 rebound….yes, in theory….but if he is jumping from one outside relationship to the next, he is being all those things you said he was and the time of “limited contact” will help you decide which path is best for you and your family.

Kate

December 25, 2018 at 5:50 am

My ex and I were together 7 years, have 2 kids and were basically married without the paperwork. We broke up officially mid August. 2.5 months later at the start of November he had a new girlfriend, which lasted for 10 days officially before she ended it as she was a mess coming out of a 15 yr relationship. He has said since that she was a rebound. He started talking to a girl on bumble 3 weeks ago, and now 4 months after our breakup is official with her, and has even introduced her to our kids. He hasn’t told me he has a girlfriend, and their interactions I’ve seen on Facebook are friendly, but the girl and I have other mutual friends and her relationship status has changed.
Could he be in a second rebound? Or does this affect my chances of getting him back if he’s moving on a lot?

Chris Seiter

December 25, 2018 at 11:36 pm

Hi Kate!

Usually relationships that have lasted 7 years put down roots that builds some traction and that can help later. But for now, he is acting very selfishly. Have you considered no contact?

Sam Tessa

November 13, 2018 at 2:06 am

Hi! (Sorry for the long post!)
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me(I believe it’s because I was too demanding and needy), and a few days after he said that finally he would prefer a break because he regretted breaking up but understood that I needed time because he hurt me. 2 weeks later I decided that I wanted a break too and he was really happy about that decision. We got intimate a week after and he said that he still didn’t want to be in a relationship after I told him that I wanted to try again. Finally I decided that the break was too hard for me and we agreed to talk in two months. Two weeks after that decision, he sent me a text saying that there won’t be any reconsideration because I deserve better and I wouldn’t like how he’s acting but he wants to remain friends since we have all the same friends. I learned the day after that he’s interested/seeing the girl that he cheated on me with 2 years ago(we were able to work through it).
He tagged me on facebook, sent me something on instagram, he even drunk texted me last week saying: ‘man did i love you and man did i f*ck up’ to which I answered briefly with a:’im not sure what to tell you haha’, and he answered with a :’sorry i was drunk haha’
he even asked a mutual friend if I had slept with someone else since the break up and knows that I have been on a date and seemed sad about it.
He still keeps tracks of my social media(snapchat stories and instagram stories), I don’t because it hurts too much, I also unfollowed him on facebook
Now it’s been a week no contact, I think he’s seeing the other girl( don’t know if they are bf-gf)
I’m probably going to see him next weekend since a mutual friend that lives far away is having a party and we both don’t get to see him often because of the distance.
I’ve started working out and concentrating on other things like school and projects and even have a coffee date to see what is out there
Do I still have a chance to get him back? Should I initiate contact? Should I go on the date? I’m scared I’m in the friendzone and he’s not thinking about me because of the new girl. I love him very much and want him back
Thank you!
Again sorry for the long post!
Sarah

September 12, 2018 at 8:50 pm

Ex-boyfriend broke up with me last November, did on and off thing until January (I did all the begging/gnatting etc). Then did 3 weeks no contact. Then started speaking again but I wasn’t in the right mind set and was weak and needy all the time so was fab sort of set up. I then finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore and at that point in June things started to change and we seemed to be on track, but then it all went up in flames and we were arguing all the time and neither of us felt good (I’m quite insecure). He broke up with me again 16 days ago, and although I did a bit on begging on day one (didn’t want him to leave, ask to stay etc) I haven’t contacted him once since he left after the breakup. I oddly feel a lot better about myself and like the ‘ungettable girl’ I was before we got together. However, I have found out today that he is now seeing someone from his work and because of all the mess and how stubborn he is I’m worried I’ve now lost him for good this time even though I feel the best about myself I have in a long time. Should I end no contact early – 3 weeks instead of 4? So he can see I am different before it is too late? Do you think I have a good chance of getting him back? Really need your advice while I’m waiting to save up for the books!
wilson

August 15, 2018 at 12:15 pm

hi
Someone

April 22, 2018 at 3:07 am

Hey, Im in day 8th of no contact and he still hasnt texted me yet! We have been in distance relationship for about 1 year now and we have been just waiting on the Fience visa approval ( knowing that Im not An Amirican , thats why I had to go back home). While we were waiting on the visa approval, he met a girl and he cheated on me with her. He tried to break up with me after he slept with her! He said that he is no longer happy with our situation and that he felt lonely since the day I left and went back home. He said, he is not living his life and our relationship made him feel messirsble. Whenever he is with that girl, he does not feel worried about anything and that he is happy. So, after he told me this, I begged him and I cried and told him that he is not a wake and he doesnt know what he is doing and I asked him to be patient till I come there and see him again. That did not worked at all, he was still meeting that girl but at the same time trying to be availabe for me and was texting me back when I text him. I felt very terrible everytime he tells me that he cant really talk to me because he ia with her right now. I argued with him and took a space from him 2 weeks ( during this 2 weeks he was texting me but I wasnt replying back but i did only once) after the sapce, I talked to him and asked to call him, he was very nice and he said he was carious about what im doing and he cried because he was still in pain! So we continued talking and texting but he got changed. He reply back to my text after 3 hours , when I call him, he does not want to talk for one or two hours. I ignored the way he was treating me and I kind of was forcing him to break up with that girl after he told me that he needs me back here and he said that things will get changed if you got back here. So, I told him, if you really want me to come back to US, you need first to break up with that girl! Everytime we talked through the phone, we argue about that girl! Its been 2 months now , everday we talk, we get to the point that we dont feel good and upset. He asked me to give a specific time to figure it out how to tell that girl that he wants to break up with her because he said that they care about each other a lot and he cant just dump her! He started crying and said she is going to hate me I know she will and she is going to stop talking to me!!!! So that why he asked for a time to do that. I gave him a week to do what he needs to do but what shocked me was that, he tried to break up with ME and HER!!! He said he feels guilty and I dont deserve him. He is not happy even with that new girl and he is not trying to be with but he wont stop meeting her( that does not make any sense, why would still want to meet someone you dont want to be with) I did not belive him. I asked him if he is now letting me go and be with someone else? He answered: YES. I asked him if he want me to go and sleep with someone else now , he said : No, Im not saying that, Im just giving you a choice. He also said that he needs to find himself and he needs to love him self so that he can give love. He said eveeytime we talk we get into this terrible conversation that ruin his day or sometimes his night before he goes to bed. In the end , he also said that he doesnt know what he is saying or want. He does not know where he is at right now. And before he hang up the call, he said ” I love you”. The next day I texted him something and was saying to him that ” I feel like a zombie and I my whole body hurts. I bet on you and I loved you and everone told me to leave you but everytime I say that I love him and I love everything about him, LOVE is even a small word for it , he is my soul, he is my heart. But you betrayed my heart and all I want right now, is to run away from people from the world and that I feel stranger and im tired physically tired” he responded back saying that he feels stranger too and he cant do anything right no matter what regardless of hiw much time he spent, give or lose. he is sorrey, he cant do anything. And that he is lonely in this world too and has been feeling this way a loooong time and thats why he wants to run a way too! The next day, I stopped texting him ( im the one who always start texting him) and he stopped texting me as well! He did not even care to ask why I stopped texting him. So now im in NCR for about 8 days and still hasnt heard back from him yet. Im afraid that he went back to that new girl and started dating her again and forgot about me! Knowing that we got the visa approval and Im going to be there in US soon if he is willing to see me . Im affraid that what im doing right now is wrong and that he is getting over me and not thinking about me . Plz help!

Chris Seiter

April 22, 2018 at 4:33 am

Just stay the course with your NC and if you have not picked up my Companion Guide, consider doing so as it will give you more confidence and some direction. Also, I think it will help you cope with the breakup pain better if you start up a journal and start writing things down. It can help you unload some of the anxiety.
Someone

April 23, 2018 at 12:00 am

Chris, I need to understand the way he is thinking! Is he trying to get over me now? Or just givibg eachother time to figure things out? Was this his way of telling me that ” i dont want you in my life again”? And thats why he is not contacting me or care to reach out or afraid of losing me?
Chris Seiter

April 23, 2018 at 12:12 am

Hi there….knowing what a guy (or gal) is thinking at any given time can be challenging for anyone. Just keep your attitude positive and stick with the plan and avoid thinking about the negatives. In time, it will become clearer, so focus on those things you can control!

Sarah

March 15, 2018 at 1:37 am

Hello. Needing some advice. I “chased” my ex for 2 years in high school before we actually dated. We were best friends throughout those 2 years. We were together for 5 years before we broke up. We’ve been apart now for about 7 years. Through these years, he will contact me anywhere from 6 months to 2 years apart. Most of these are apologies about our relationship. I will tell him how he’s forgiven and apologize for my actions as well. We will be friendly again for a while, then he disappears again. (I did make the mistake of kinda begging the last time around, and yet, 3 months later…he’s back again!) This time, after we started talking and getting more friendly, he backs off and starts saying he’s busy all the time, but always responds quickly to any message I send. I think he has a girlfriend now, but he won’t tell me. So since he was becoming distant again, I stopped talking to him (about a month now). The problem is, he has always been “the one” for me, even now I would love to try again now that we’re older. As he says, we were young and dumb. But i’m tired of getting nowhere even though he seems to still care. He sends tons of mixed signals and I don’t know if I should hold on to hope or just to brush off the next msg I get from him and throw in the towel on hoping we will get back together. Could it be that i’m reading too much into his messages when he contacts me again and he just wants to be friends, or is it him wanting to connect again, but for some reason drawing it out? I feel like a fish on a hook! Thanks for any helpful advice!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 4:08 pm

Hi Sarah,

It looks like he’s just stringing you along.. Move on from him. Build skills, do new stuff,.meet new people and make new connections.

Kierstyn Hass

March 14, 2018 at 5:23 pm

My boyfriend had a girl before we even broke up. The week before we broke up, he acted different and then broke up with me because he “wasn’t feeling a relationship with me anymore and wants something new.” Obviously, I did what I shouldn’t have. I acted desperate and constantly texted him my feelings. I’ve done that for a week and I’m now seeing that if you act like you don’t care it works. But will it still work after I’ve pretty much annoyed him with me acting desperate? I’m honestly willing to do ANYTHING to get him back, even though he hurt me. What’s weird is the other day he texted me and asked to go to the gym and hangout. Does that mean something? Also, he told me he isn’t getting rid of anything I gave him or deleting any of our pictures. I told him he’ll be back and he said “eventually.” Today I asked if he meant that and he said he’s not answering. I also asked if he’s planning on dating this girl or just screwing around with her and he said “date probably, I don’t even know.” I’m just honestly so confused.. what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 3:47 pm

Hi kierstyn,

You mean he cheated on you?

Anon

March 10, 2018 at 8:52 pm

Hey thank you!!! So I’m kind of nervous of what I would do to start contact after nc. He’s blocked my social media/number again. The last time I was like 2 weeks into no contact where I found out he unblocked me on everything and then added me on snapchat (I didn’t add back, didn’t do anything). He didn’t message or anything and unfriended me like 5 days later. Then a month later the whole being friends/Valentine’s day post happened and I sent him a few angry texts that he didn’t respond to. Do you have any suggestions on how I should start contact when the last times we were talking I was just angry and yelling at him? I feel like it would be weird to say anything after how things left off and the fact that he has a girlfriend now. How should I go about that?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2018 at 11:45 am

You can still follow this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Anon

March 6, 2018 at 7:03 am

Hey guys, so I’m 21, he’s 24 and moved onto an 18 year old girl from his school less than a week after a big fight. We were talking for several months/in a relationship for around 3 months. I felt we were really close, talked everyday and he would mention marriage and kids. At this point, he’s been dating her for longer than we have but they only “clicked” after that fight (from what he’s told me, idk) which was on December 1. We were trying to work things out after we broke up in mid November and he even said he loved me and that we have a lot to work on a couple days before that fight where we stopped talking for 2 weeks. That was the longest we didn’t talk before it was like 1/2 days, we talked everyday almost all day. We started getting into fights more often before the breakup and I was surprised when he wanted to break up because I thought we were serious about each other because the fights were so silly. I focused on myself for those 2 weeks because we both had finals so I thought he was focused on that too. I found out he was with that girl 2 and a half weeks later and he said he had already been with her for 2 weeks. He said they didn’t love each other but he thought it was serious. He started dating her less than a week after we stopped talking and visited her parents out of state like 5 hours away less than 2 weeks into dating. Also the last time we hung out which was after he broke up with me (like a little over week before they start dating and I asked him to go to a coffee shop to talk about our situation but asks me to come to his house instead and makes out with me, it really felt like he wanted to make things work), he mentioned he went to her apartment to work on a project and they talked about their last relationships. He said he would never be with her because she’s 18, stuck up, and they have nothing in common. We got into a huge, ugly fight and I called him a cheater because his stories weren’t adding up. I acted really needy, texting him a lot but then I stopped, did no contact, and worked on myself.
He added me on snapchat randomly like 2 weeks after when he had blocked my number/all social media so I figured out he unblocked me. I didn’t add back or anything and he unfollowed 5 days later after I posted pics looking like I was happy/with friends. So then a month later I sent an ‘accidental heart’ in instagram message and said sorry it was a mistake and he adds me on snapchat again. I ask him why and he said he “thought we could be friends but slowly” and I’m like okay. At this point, I thought maybe things weren’t working out with the new girl because she hadn’t posted pics of them in a month when they were posting many pics before. So then a couple days later is Valentine’s day and she posts a pic with him carrying her on his back and I message him angrily that ‘I don’t want to be friends, what did you think you’d get out of this’ and more long, angry texts that he didn’t respond to and he blocked me again on everything. Then I tried messaging I’m sorry but no response. I felt so stupid after. A couple days later, she posts 3 consecutive instagram posts with him like her arms around him, him around hers, seeming really happy. Under one of them I noticed he commented “so the worst pictures of me ” and didn’t like the post and I saw the comment was deleted afterwords. But now just yesterday he posted pics with her with a caption “what a keeper” so they seem like they are happy/serious. He didn’t post any pics with her since end of December though. He even posted a picture the day before he added me on snapchat, late at night on a rainy day with the hashtag “#foggynight” which looked like he was on a walk and I know he goes on walks when he is stressed or thinking through problems. His gf didn’t like the photo so I think he was alone. I know I’m getting into the details but I just don’t know what to think. I messed up again and I’m hopeless at this point that I even have a chance. I’ve stopped contact again but I don’t know if it’ll work, I’ve messed up too much. Do you have any advice on what could be going on and what I could do from this point?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2018 at 4:11 pm

Hi Anon,

Try nc one last time and then take it slow after.. Do at least 45 days and follow the advice on this one:
How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

Marita

March 5, 2018 at 3:41 am

My boyfriend and I technically broke up last August after a really hard year based on miscommunication and his depression. We started speaking again and we’re on the right track last October. He was very excited and even said he loved me twice but i got scared and pushed him away. We basically acted like we were together and neither of us saw other people. After a while he got tired of my pushing him away. He was incredibly hurt and tired . 2 weeks before the new year we admitted we loved each other but when he asked “now what?” I didn’t give him the answer he wanted. We got into a small fight after and he decided he was fed up and blocked me for a month. We met up in February and he gave me back my things. I asked him why not just end it why block me without saying goodbye why hold onto my personal items for a month why not just say you don’t love me and he didn’t say anything. When I explained to him why I pushed him away his eyes softened he even cried but stuck By his decision saying he didn’t want to be in the cycle. Saying even though he meant it when he said he loved me there was a difference between loving someone and caring and wanting to remove yourself from the cycle. He said he hoped we’d hang out and it wouldn’t be the last time we talked. My friend who works with him said he told her he felt like a new person. It has been one month since he gave me my things and technically broke it off and my friend said that she heard around the office that he was announcing on instagram that he had a new girlfriend this week. Apparently they’ve been seeing each other for 2 months (which freaks me out because that’s when he blocked me and just a week prior we had spent New Years together and before that had said we loved each other) I had been trying to implement no contact since I reached out to him for his birthday February 14 but now hearing this I don’t know what to do. Do I do no contact again? Is this the real thing? Should I give up? He genuinely wanted to marry me we had been in each other’s lives for 3 years. We were best friends before being boyfriend and girlfriend and both admitted even in our last major conversation that it was never a lack of love just communication and when I asked if it would never work he said he didn’t know. Please advise! I don’t know how to proceed moving forward and our would have been anniversary is coming up. I took him off social media because i didn’t want to see the announcement but should I just suck it up and unblock so he can see my posts? Is it likely to be a rebound? Should I still pursue this? Please advise!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2018 at 6:41 am

Hi Marita,

If they started speaking before the break up, she’s more of a grass is greener.. Right now, continue nc and then follow the advice above.. Because talking to him just because you knew he has a gf is chasing and yes, unblock him in social media. Don’t add him yet, just make your posts public.

Marita

March 5, 2018 at 12:42 am

My boyfriend and I technically broke up last August after a really hard year based on miscommunication and his depression. We started speaking again and we’re on the right track last October. He was very excited and even said he loved me twice but i got scared and pushed him away. We basically acted like we were together and neither of us saw other people. After a while he got tired of my pushing him away. He was incredibly hurt and tired . 2 weeks before the new year we admitted we loved each other but when he asked “now what?” I didn’t give him the answer he wanted. We got into a small fight after and he decided he was fed up and blocked me for a month. We met up in February and he gave me back my things. I asked him why not just end it why block me without saying goodbye why hold onto my personal items for a month why not just say you don’t love me and he didn’t say anything. When I explained to him why I pushed him away his eyes softened he even cried but stuck By his decision saying he didn’t want to be in the cycle. Saying even though he meant it when he said he loved me there was a difference between loving someone and caring and wanting to remove yourself from the cycle. He said he hoped we’d hang out and it wouldn’t be the last time we talked. My friend who works with him said he told her he felt like a new person. It has been one month since he gave me my things and technically broke it off and my friend said that she heard around the office that he was announcing on instagram that he had a new girlfriend this week. Apparently they’ve been seeing each other for 2 months (which freaks me out because that’s when he blocked me and just a week prior we had spent New Years together and before that had said we loved each other) I had been trying to implement no contact since I reached out to him for his birthday February 14 but now hearing this I don’t know what to do. Do I do no contact again? Is this the real thing? Should I give up? He genuinely wanted to marry me we had been in each other’s lives for 3 years. We were best friends before being boyfriend and girlfriend and both admitted even in our last major conversation that it was never a lack of love just communication and when I asked if it would never work he said he didn’t know. Please advise! I don’t know how to proceed moving forward and our would have been anniversary is coming up. I took him off social media because i didn’t want to see the announcement but should I just suck it up and unblock so he can see my posts?
Heatrbroken

February 28, 2018 at 3:57 pm

Hi,

I did nc for a month and then tried building rapport through texting. He was not responsive to this, he always replied and sometimes opened up to me but never initiated and the more I messaged the less interested he became. His replies were always neutral borderline cold, if I were to message him now he would most likely respond because he doesn’t want to seem like a bad guy but would probably reply really late and say ‘sorry just seen this iv been busy’. and then reply bluntly to whatever I said. He kept promising to see me and then was always miraculously too busy. The last time we spoke was just before xmas, he stayed in the office late and we spoke. I hugged him as he left and it kind of lingered between us. He was very nice and wished me a happy xmas. I asked him to stay a bit so we could get the drink he always promised and he said no. I later found out he went to see his new gf that evening. He messaged me ‘merry xmas’ on xmas day but when I tried to engage him in convo he didn’t reply for hours then said sorry I fell asleep. Neither of us has contacted each other since then and I avoid him at work as much as possible so we have probably said hi twice since then. I guess we have been in no contact now for 2 months.

I have posted a lot on my instagram, his best friend contacted me after I did nc to ask how I was. He said I looked good on instagram and I asked if my ex was over me and he said yes he was and that I should move on and date other people.

I have removed him from my social media and blocked him on instagram. His new gf has recently blocked my profile even tho hers was private anyway and I have him blocked. I am unsure if he knows if I have seen the pictures of him and her as I did it through a different account.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 11:35 am

You have to make your posts or account public so, that if he gets curious he can see them and he will think you have moved on and that it’s ok now to talk you again if you ever bumped into each other at work..

Heartbroken

February 26, 2018 at 12:17 pm

Hi,

My ex bf broke up with me almost 7 months ago, he started talking to me daily while he was still with his ex gf. I did not know he had a gf at the time and found out after a month of us talking everyday, they even lived together which surprised me. He said they were not getting on and likely to break up. We spent some time together and kissed a couple of times. After 6 weeks of us speaking they broke up and we got together the same day. Everything was going well and he was really into me wanting to see me all the time but after a few months he started backing off and things were not going great. We argued a lot because he went hot and cold with me, he introduced me to his friends and family really early on (within a month) but would never post pictures of us together online. He had pictures of his ex gf all over his phone and social media, but refused to post pictures of us. He said he wasn’t in contact with her but I later found out he was lying. In fact his parents were still in contact with her and he was messaging her. Turns out she was still using his Netflix 4 months after we had been together, after 6 months he still had her profile on there too. He never listened to me when I said how uncomfortable all the pictures and the social media interaction between him, his ex, and his parents made me as well as all the pictures inc in his room.

We argued a lot about it and it made me really insecure. I read his text messages with her and it turned out he had told her he loved her and missed her and that it was so hard to be without her while he was already with me for a month. I had met his parents by this point and it really hurt to read that and find out he had been in constant communication with her for the entirety of our relationship and lied about it. I got really angry broke up with him and made him delete her off his social media. We got back together after but only because I wanted him back.

I went away with his friends and family camping 2 weeks later and his dad was really rude to me on the trip. I asked my ex why and he said I was imagining it like he said I was being obsessive about his ex for no reason.
A few weeks after the trip he had been really distant with me and we argued a lot, I had really bad anxiety by this point and had panic attacks whenever we argued. Then one day he went to see his dad and the next day he broke up with me. Instantly he suddenly became very cold towards me, like he had no feelings for me whatsoever over night. I know his dad got involved and told him to break up with me. He did nothing but lie to me our entire relationship then dumped me because I got angry at him about it all the time. He never apologised or seemed upset that we broke up.

We work in the same office so seeing him everyday has been really hard when he wont speak to me. I tried talking to him but his responses were always delayed and very cold. He said the reason for the breakup was because he was depressed and didn’t want to continue hurting me. He said he couldn’t be in a relationship right now and that maybe in the future things would work out. I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he didn’t know.

After weeks of crying and begging I did no contact, when I initiated contact he replied but he was never nice like before. It was very cold and not flirty or interested at all. I then got desperate and asked to talk because I was emotional. He backed off and avoided me often after that and kept promising we would see each other but was always ‘too busy’. 4 months later I found out he was seeing another girl. He had been on dating sites barely 2 weeks after we broke up, talking to loads of girls and flirting loudly with a new girl at the office during this time. It was devastating to see him do that and he has been with this girl for at least 3 months now possibly longer. He has been posting loved up pictures of them together from 3 months ago and it hurts because in the whole 7 months he never posted a single picture of us. He now treats me like a stranger, he never messages me and only politely says hello to me at work. It hurts because he acts like nothing ever happened between us and I never even felt like I got closure or understood why he treated me so badly. I overhear him at work telling people about things he does with her which we used to do together and it really hurts. I never wanted to break up with him and I am in love with him.

I want to get over him but I don’t know how. I want him to break up with his new gf but I don’t think he will. I think I was the rebound and she is the real thing. It is so sad and I cannot stop thinking about him. I do not feel this way about guys very often and it has been almost 7 months now but I cannot stop crying everyday. I feel like he treated his ex better than me while we are together and eve treated her better post brea up. Now he is giving the new girl everything he wouldn’t give to me and seems really happy.

What should I do? I feel like giving up but I still have this stupid hope that he will come back to me as I really felt like we were meant to be together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 2:26 pm

Hi heartbroken,

how many days did you do nc, how active were you in improving yourself and in posting in social media?

Raya

February 21, 2018 at 6:52 pm

Me and my ex were on & off due to our insecurities & fear of getting hurt. He felt like I didnt communicate enough when I was hurt, which in turn hurt him. I’ve done no contact before for about 3 weeks & we talked after that. We would see each other & talk & it lasted for bout 2 weeks. I’ve been feeling like he had been ready to just move on with his life because of distance. We bof decided to move on with life. Broke up & now he seeing someone, should I try dis again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2018 at 10:37 pm

Hi Raya,

That depends on you.. If you decide you want to, check this one:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

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