5 Critical Ways To Get Over and Move On After Your Ex Dumps You

786 thoughts on “How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend”

sharon

December 2, 2013 at 5:26 am

Hi I have tried your methods of getting my ex back and it all worked so well..everything you said worked..the only thing is I made a few mistakes on the date. we spoke about a few things that went wrong and the date was a let down…hes still showing interest by messaging every other day general chat but he hasnt asked me out again..does he see me more as a friend now ,should I do the n.c again or should I tell him how I feel..

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Have you read my guide on the date?

Just work on getting a second date. Make that your priority.

Maria

December 1, 2013 at 2:02 am

Im engage with my ex boyfriend. Should I return the engagement ring, if I do decide to move on.

admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:34 pm

That would be the most respectful thing to do.

Noelle

November 29, 2013 at 6:31 am

Can you please help me I’m in a very bad place and have no one else to help

admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:17 am

What specifically do you need help with?

Anonymous

November 29, 2013 at 1:39 am

So, after almost 3 months since the break up, and only two instances of texting initiated by me, I have decided I do not want him back because I’m pretty sure he lied about the reason for breaking up. I’m the type of person who is very straightforward, I tell it like it is.

My ex broke up with me saying he couldn’t do the distance anymore, as he has been working out of town for a year while we were together, and would be going back out of town again for work. He had told me once that if he got this certain job, he’d be close enough to home to come home every night and we’d be ok, and have a proper relationship.

Lucky for me I have to drive past his house every day and he’s never there in the morning, and I noticed that he comes home later at night, so I’m fairly sure he is working someplace close to home.

My question is, as ex girlfriend, do I have the right to text him and ask him about it? If so, should I be nice about it, or should I be a bitch, because I’m actually furious at him now. I’m very snarky, and I’m tempted to text him saying “next time you break up with someone, give them the real reason, not some bullshit distance excuse.”

I know at this point I should just get over it and move on, but I’m not one to let someone lie straight to my face and not call them out on it.

admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:04 am

I hear you. I guess my question to you is why do you want him back after all he has done to you?
Anonymous

November 30, 2013 at 7:01 pm

I don’t want him back now that I know he lied about the reasoning. I wanted to know if I should call him out on it.

He can’t be that stupid to think I wouldn’t find out when he knows I drive
admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Only call him on it if it is worth doing so.

Stephanie

November 28, 2013 at 6:18 am

I enjoyed your article I got just got dumped yesterday your right.

My story was my ex used to threaten me that he was gonna break so I will changed my attitude so I tried threatening him but it ended up actually breaking up with me.

admin

November 29, 2013 at 1:19 am

Sorry about the breakup 🙁

Have you tried NC yet?

SOnche BOo

November 26, 2013 at 3:57 am

Hello.. I need help how to get over this ex of mine. I’m in so much pain and feeling crap. I have read your article but I have no motivation to get back to my fitness or even back on my feet:( please help me. It’s been 2 weeks since I havnt spoken to him and it’s killing me 🙁 I just want to contact him but something keeps stopping me and that would be nahh stuff him he will be running back in no time but the thing is I wouldn’t want him back after what he did. Please help me

admin

November 26, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Well have you tried doing any of this stuff in this guide?
SOnche BOo

November 27, 2013 at 4:37 am

And also he has been trying to contact me but I have blocked his number so I don’t get anything from him. At the start I start working out but then I have stopped. I will try and do the things you have wrote above. Thanks 🙂

Anja

November 25, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I actually had a good time reading this and made me feel 100% better. Just needed that extra nudge to get me in the right frame of mind.
Thank you and I hope you know that you are making a difference in our lives 🙂

admin

November 25, 2013 at 8:51 pm

No problem. Hope it did help you out a bit.

Sarah Joseph

November 24, 2013 at 1:34 pm

Hey, Chris.
I want to thank you for your advice that you’ve given me. You were giving me some tips on your “How to make him miss you” page. It’s now 2 weeks into NC, and I’m doing great. In fact, I’ve found out that I’m confident I don’t want to go back to that relationship. Thank you so much for helping me out, and realizing that I don’t need him anymore!

Sarah Joseph

admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:18 pm

Well good for you!

Matidi

November 22, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Its been a month and one week with NC. I only spoke to his friend a week ago asking him how is my ex and he said he looks ok. Our breakup was one of those messy break ups and I am at the stage were I want to apologize to him about what I did. That’s what we discussed with his friend.His friend told me that he had a discussion with him about how I feel and that I want to apologize. His friend said he only gave him a proud smile I don’t if I will stand a chance with such reaction.I still love him but we went through a lot where I don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore but only to have a friendship with him.

Do you think I still need more time before I can get hold of him, he is one of those guys who are stubborn? But my goal was 90 days but its killing me.

Please help.

Thank you

admin

November 22, 2013 at 8:13 pm

90 days is really really tough.

Why 90?

Jen

November 21, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Okay Chris, so I’m here.

I’ve deleted my twitter. I’ve deleted my instagram. I’ve deleted all of our pictures.

I’m distraught, but I’m here. I have decided that I want to move on. I’m just waiting for my heart to catch up with my brain. I feel like I’ve been through so much over the last 6 months, and even more so over the last 2.

I’ve exhausted the patience of all of my family and friends, so I feel like I can only express myself here and kind of relate to the other women going through the same thing.

I’m ready to move on from my ex boyfriend. It just feels like a major challenge because I feel like he took the best parts of me and left me with the “damaged” stuff 🙁 So now, I have to kind of embark on the lengthiest rescue mission to save myself.

I did the 30 days, contacted, got ignored. Apologised and essentially got told to get lost.

I sit here, imagining my life in a year’s time and wonder what I’ll be doing. Then my mind starts to think about my ex returning during that year and how I would respond to him. The truth is, I don’t know. I can only take each day as it comes.

But, what I do know is, with each passing day, I will cry fewer tears. The one thing I am happy about is, I let him have the last word in his ‘go away’ text to me. I didn’t beg, I didn’t plea and I didn’t try again. I just let him have the last word.

admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:01 pm

Well, this page can help you do that one step at a time. Just take things step by step.
Jen

November 23, 2013 at 7:31 pm

What’s you’re opinion on posting tweets etc, related to emotion and stuff after a break up – shows neediness? Or self expression?
admin

November 24, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Not a huge fan b/c usually an ex will look at your profile and decipher that you are depressed over him and that is not the image you want to project.
Jen

November 24, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I appreciate that. Every time it feel tempted, I’m going to remember that.

I think I know what I need and want to do. Something about a particular month has been shouting out to me. It’s when I finish the bulk of my university/work commitments. I feel that’s when I will be in the best place to communicate with him on any level.

I guess I’m doing NC properly this time round. I’m really focusing on myself and getting myself in the position for my future. The last thing he said to me was that he would prefer to maintain NC. So I’m going to let him have AT LEAST 4 months of that and work on me. I can’t guarantee that we will end up being together, but I think that we will be in a better place. I need to heal and really weigh up with a rational mind whether that is where my future lies.

I’m scared. This is definitely the biggest ‘risk’ that I’ve taken, but I guess it will either make or break our future.

What I do know is that I’ve got the potential to do so many wonderful/great things, and if he can’t see that or if he wants to move on… Then that’s fine. As the months go forward, that will continue to marinate in my mind.

I will continue to achieve my dreams and date if the opportunity arises. I hope he does come back of his own freewill, but there’s a strong possibility that he won’t.

If I ever feel the need to vent or release, I’ll come here and talk to you. I hope you don’t mind! Loooool x
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Nope don’t mind at all. That is one of the many reasons this site exists.
Jen

November 21, 2013 at 8:59 pm

I guess, I just feel like such an idiot for being hopeful. Even after he has been so mean to me. Then I think, am I really ready to start the ‘get over him’ journey, if I’ve still got like 10% hope? Or does the 90% determination override that?
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm

I think whatever is best for you in the longrun is the way to go and YOU only know that answer.

b

November 20, 2013 at 11:02 am

Hello. Me & my guy weren’t together long AT ALL but I did all the wrong things when he dumped me. Nevertheless, I wanted him back so I found this site &went on nc for about 3 weeks (which was very difficult since he continually called me) then texted him & things were going pretty well for a few days. We pretty much pressed the reset button & r friends working towards something more between us (since we were together for such a short time span & we jumped into our relationship way too quickly) but I haven’t heard from him in a week =( . We’d been talking about becoming a family the 1st day after nc since there was a possibility I was prego with his baby. A few days later I found out I wasn’t prego, but I texted him saying that I am prego, then literally 2 seconds later I texted him saying jk im not prego. he texted back saying that I shouldnt play around like that. Then I told him sorry & kept conversing with him but he was acting grumpy so I made a little joke about his grumpyness, then he told me that I’m not on his good side since I joked about being preg. I said sorry & that I’ll make it up to him. I texted him the next day telling him I’ll be out in his town in a couple days & that we can go do something if he’s up to it ( something else we touched on after I got off nc: hanging out & doing things together) & I told him that I hope he’s having a good day, put a happy face at the end of the text message too. No response. it’s been a week& I haven’t tried contacting him again nor have I heard from him =( it hurts me because 1st of all I’ve always been so loyal to him, always nice& do things for him out of the kindness of my heart & he still dumped me. Now, even as my supposed “friend,” he’d told me that he’s gonna be here for me regardless if I’m prego with his child or not, that he’s not going anywhere. But it seems like he’s doing his own thing now that he knows im not carrying his child ='( I feel so betrayed. I’m heartbroken all over again. Maybe he’s still mad at me but seriously, its not like I played the prego joke on him for a full day; it was literally 2 SECONDS. I don’t know what to do. Should I just move on? Should I try texting him or calling him? What should I say to him when I do contact him? I am anticipating his phone call/text but regardless, I need to know where we stand because in the meantime, I’m heartbroken& really don’t want to carry this weight on my heart especially since the Holidays r here. But I also know that if I give him an ultimatum or if I’m not being positive when I talk to him, that will make him uncomfortable& might turn him off. What should I do?

admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm

The holidays… UGH.

What have you done so far?
b

November 20, 2013 at 8:04 pm

As far as since I haven’t heard from him this past week? I haven’t done anything other than miss him and wonder what I should do: if I should just leave it alone or try contacting him and what I should say if I do contact him.
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:12 pm

Leave him alone and then contact him when you are in the righ place emotionally.
b

November 22, 2013 at 7:15 am

Ok I did as u said. I text him just asking y I haven’t heard from him & he basically apoliguzed & said he’d been busy& was upset with me but he’s over it now. I was making small talk, asking him stuff about what he’s been up to. He’d never asked me anything the whole time. Only thing he asked was “Who?” because he’d said that he doesn’t have a potential wife in his life, I said ” actually u do :)” & that’s when he asked who. I didn’t answer (& yes I was talking about myself as the potential wife). I’m sure if he was interested in me, he’d ask me something about me& my life but he didn’t. I just feel like he doesn’t feel anything for me anymore. He knows I like him. He knows how difficult it is being friends with someone u really like more than a friend because his longest relationship started out that way; so he obviously knows how I feel right now so y would he do this to me? He’d said we’ll be friends and let things blossom between us naturally but y is he not concerned about me or my life? U know that saying “Its hard to wait around for something u know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when u feel it’s everything u want.” That’s how I feel. If we actually talked on a regular basis, I’d feel more encouraged about us but right now, it seems like nothings going to happen. Maybe I need to stop trippin’ & give it some time? How can a man that’s ready to settle down& get married have a good woman in his life that has everything he wants in a girlfriend/wife + more, yet he doesn’t try to pursue her???? That is so foolish. How am I suppose to be friends with him like this? What do I say to him (if anything) regarding my feelings?
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Men are weird aren’t they? Sometimes we just have second thoughts about being tied down and it scares us… we tend to overthink things sometimes. Remember you ladies are way more emotionally mature than us.
b

November 22, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Yes u men r some weirdos lol. How can I be friends with him when I really like him though? Should I talk to him about all this?
admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:03 pm

No just kind of let it be for a while and try to get him to devlop his feelings twoards you.

Ankitha

November 16, 2013 at 12:34 pm

hi sorry I am not finding my comments or am not aware whether I got any reply on my comments

admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Replies should come to your email I think.

Naina

November 15, 2013 at 2:12 pm

So a couple weeks ago, I was unsure of moving on or getting him back. I decided to move on for forever 🙂 It feels really good to get to this point! Unfortunately we are both from the same hometown, and with a lot of weddings and engagements coming up for our mutual friends, it’s impossible to fully cut him out of my life for forever. BUT, I am going to do the best I can. I am so excited for making this decision on my own and being ready to do it and I wouldn’t have been able to do so without you. Thank you Chris, I wish I could hug you! But an internet hug will have to do so. *hugs*

admin

November 15, 2013 at 8:16 pm

I accept internet hugs!

Mel

November 4, 2013 at 8:25 pm

what is your view on closure? if you are past your 30 day NC rule & don’t want to get back together with your ex but do care about him & would like to be on good terms with him? my ex is def punishing me for breaking up with him & really not contacting me as much as I thought because of how things ended. he does not like,not having the power so Idk if it would even be worth it, but for me it would.

admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:16 pm

My views on closure. If you have no intentions of getting back to him I think its ok to send him a long text explaining your side and leaving it at that.
Mel

November 5, 2013 at 8:42 pm

hey how are you doing? idk if your not talking to me because you don’t want too or if you think that I don’t want to hear from you, if you don’t want to hear from me ever again I understand & will not contact you. If you think that I don’t want to hear from you, that’s not true. what happened between us, happened but at the end of the day I still really care about you. I broke up with you solely for the fact that you turned out to be everything you told me you wouldn’t. at this point I don’t think you’ll ever tell me the truth about cheating on me but whatever Im just wanting some closure. I’m just going to lay out on the line that I don’t want to get back together but I do miss you & would love if we could catch up or whatever. when I broke up with you we both agreed that we could be friends after some time has passed, I still would like that & honestly it’s been bugging me that we ended on such bad terms- if your not ready it’s cool but I hope your doing good & know I’m always here for you.

How’s that?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:57 pm

For a text message… Waayyy too long and waayyy too emotional. But if you are just looking to move on then this is a good way to get your feelings out there.
Mel

November 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm

yeah I could see that he read it ONE MINUTE after I sent it & never write back… what does that mean? does he not want anything to do with me anymore?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:26 pm

No it means he just doesn’t want to talk to you righ tnow.
Mel

November 7, 2013 at 5:30 am

Oh actually this is what he responded with two days later…
“I’m great I’m enjoying my life, to be honest I don’t wana be friends with u first of all cuz I don’t have girls as friends and second just cuz we dated doesn’t make you special , so I don’t ever see that happening , sorry”
Wtf Is that?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 6:14 pm

It makes him an a** hole pretty much.

Thembi

October 18, 2013 at 8:31 am

Im so glad I finally read this. Its been about 2months now since the breakup.. and I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, and now Im on Ex recovery process mission about I’d say #wish me luck {Keep up the good work}

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Good luck!

Missy K

October 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

Your website has much valuable advise, I have found this website to be a helpful tool for for moving on or getting an ex back, very informative and impressive.
I think if anyone wants to dig in further, I recommend readying the actual e-book on “ex boyfriend recovery pro”.
Thanks for your valuable time Chris.

admin

October 16, 2013 at 2:05 am

Here Here!

Olivia

October 11, 2013 at 4:56 pm

Hi Chris, I’ve been following you page for over a month now, it has been so helpful I can’t thank you enough. I managed to follow the no contact rule for nearly three weeks till last Friday when my mum sadly passed away with no indication of ill health. I was with my ex for nearly seven years from a young age (15) and I depended on him for a lot of things but now more than ever I need his help and support but he is too scared that I will get attached and he believes I want him there as a boyfriend and he is only prepared to be my friend. I saw him two days after she had died and he was being really awkward and I knew he had no idea what to do but he’s now ignoring me and not letting me see him which I am finding 10x worse. I have friends that want to support me but I just keep finding myself needing him, I don’t know if I should just try and let him go completely or try no contact again after her funeral? I know I shouldn’t be concentrating on him right now but I can help it.

admin

October 13, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Wow, over a month! Thanks 🙂

Hmmm… this one is tricky but I am in the try NC after the funeral camp.
Noelle

November 29, 2013 at 6:39 am

Olivia I’m going though the same thing as you it’s honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced,you feel so lost and the pain is so deep it’s like grieving for 2 people instead of one and the pain is almost unbearable. in my case I’m grieving for 3 people because I lost 2 family members together and now my boyfriend who I thought would always be there for me.
Noelle

November 29, 2013 at 6:40 am

So sorry for the passing of your mother x
admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:21 am

? What happened now?

Joyce

October 3, 2013 at 8:10 pm

First off, I love all of your posts!

Second, I’m not sure if this is the right spot to make this post, but I am trying to get over my ex, or understand what the heck he is doing.

Here is the short version (well kind of) of what happened between me and my ex. We have broken up and gotten back together multiple times through a 3plus year span. I did the NC for about a month earlier this summer (at least tried too) but he would showed up to my home unexpectedly. After the month had passed, I went to him and wanted to work on things. That lasted a few weeks until he got upset with me and completely ended things. I was too stubborn and upset to work on things so I tried to move on. I had no contact for about 6weeks until we both ended up at a wedding together. Obviously you can assume how the evening ended up and devastated me the next day after I found out he still wanted nothing to do with me… BUT I obviously didn’t want to accept that and a few days after, I met with him to talk. We came to an agreement to work on things and hang out without others influencing our decisions. Which only lasted a couple of weeks because he said he wanted to continue to “hang out” with other women, but still be with me intimately. I couldn’t stand the thought of being around his roommate at night one night and knowing that he potentially was bringing other girls home (he claimed he wasn’t, but yet he still wanted to?) – Needless to say, I have too much respect for myself and told him I couldn’t do it.

His response was, “Sorry we couldn’t come to an agreement” ….

Honestly that comment made me feel like we were making a business transaction. So needless to say, it has been about a month now with NC, but he is now officially dating a girl that looks just like me!

I am completely torn to pieces, because I wanted things to work out soo bad, but he continued to tell me that he wasn’t going to date me or anyone else for at least 6months. BUT here he is in a FB relationship with my doppelganger a month later!?!?

Is it a lost cause?

admin

October 4, 2013 at 1:19 am

The girl that looks like you. Do you think he is replacing you?

I don’t think it is a lost cause but I think the more important thing is what is better for you in the long run? I mean, sometimes the best way to get an ex back is just to move on from them.
Joyce

October 14, 2013 at 10:09 pm

Honestly, I have no idea what he is doing. He might just like a certain type of girl… but I don’t know.

But moving on is trying to forget about him, how would that help me get him back?
admin

October 15, 2013 at 2:39 am

Well, he liked you at one point so maybe you are the certain type of girl.

Sometimes moving on just helps b/c getting an ex back can take months and years at times.

Sarah

September 26, 2013 at 2:21 am

I’m at that stage in the post break up trauma where I know that I can never be in a relationship with my ex again. I got too much respect of myself and know I can do better, but I still want to remain friends with him….I care for him, still love him… although I am debating whether I try to be just friends or striving for ungettable girl status. It’s hard deciding which path to choose !
We aren’t talking, it’s almost been 30 days of my second no contact attempt. The first attempt I messed it up, I contacted him first. I was pissed at him, I had to put some ppl in their places haha.
I think I’m ready to give this 90 days…. It’s crazy I can feel the tension between us, even though it’s been about 3 weeks since we talked, but we did not end on good terms. He got very emotional with me. I’m patiently waiting for his stupid rebound relationship to end so I can reason with him, he’s acting different because she is there. I want closure…maybe. Do I give it a year? Lol that seems like a long time.

So basically I’m having issues knowing how long to wait to contact my ex, or to even contact him at all.

admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:24 am

Haha well lets take one step at a time. Maybe after 90 days you put out some feelers.
Sarah

September 27, 2013 at 4:50 am

I mean the guy talked to me a week later after our break up and we were on great terms. Then I found out he cheated and now he doesn’t wanna everrr talk. HAH. What does that mean? lol.

Ok my 30 day mark is up on Oct 4….so I’m gonna see how I feel then but I have a strong feeling I’m gonna extend another 30 days just because I don’t feel right about contacting him yet he’s messed up.
admin

September 28, 2013 at 2:40 am

It means most likely he is afraid you will “end” him haha.

Let me know what you decide 🙂
Sarah

October 1, 2013 at 12:04 pm

I kinda do need to just end him!!! haha. my guy friend asked me if he’s come back yet…I’m like noo….and he was like Oh He Will.
admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:27 am

Hahaha I like that guys attitude!
Sarah

September 29, 2013 at 2:33 pm

it doesnt make sense in my head though. why is it after I find out he’s with an ugly b*tch he now is not talking to me and acting legit insane when I did try to talk to him?!? That just makes me wanna end HIM lol….
admin

October 1, 2013 at 1:40 am

END HIM!

haha jk jk.

Maybe he feels a little entitled now that he has a new girlfriend. I don’t know. I wish I had more time to like hear the situation in-depth. I mean specific behaviors.

Sue

September 11, 2013 at 5:26 am

Thanks for writing this post. It helps with the healing.

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:02 am

I hope you got something out of it!

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786 thoughts on “How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend”