By Chris Seiter

Updated on April 9th, 2021

When it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back one of the most asked questions that we get is,

How do I text him?

And if you are pretty familiar with our site you would know that I have put together quite a few guides over the years detailing exactly what to do. Well, I want you to take a moment and imagine something for me.

Imagine that you read all of my “in-depth” guides and had a pretty good idea of how I teach texting. And yet, when you actually went to implement my teaching it turned into a disaster.

Well, this is the exact thing that happened to the woman featured in today’s episode.

She sent a string of text messages and they didn’t work out too well for her.

Well, today I am going to dissect her messages and show you what she should have done.

Video Of Episode 63 (When Texting Goes WRONG With Your Ex…)

Pretty crazy, right?

Here’s a better explanation of the situation we are talking about in this episode,

The Situation We Are Talking About

  • The woman wanted to remain “anonymous” so we are just going to refer to her as anonymous
  • She completed the 30 day no contact rule
  • She began texting her ex like she was supposed to
  • He ended up not responding well to it at all
  • She has no idea on what to do

Important Things We Talk About In This Episode

  • The importance of being interesting with your texts
  • Every text you get is information and it’s important that you use that information properly
  • My crazy new phone number and the calls I get from it
  • Not going too fast, too soon
  • Looking at the situation from your exes perspective

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Interview Transcript

What to Read Next

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113 thoughts on “EBR 063: When Texting Goes WRONG With Your Ex…”

  1. Robin

    March 12, 2021 at 8:23 am

    Should I start the no contact rule again after messing up the texting phase.the thing was I became clingy, went too fast and ended up saying i love you to him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 13, 2021 at 11:11 am

      Hey Robin, yes that does mean you need to go back to NC if you told him you love him and he turned you down.

  2. Miss M

    January 27, 2021 at 8:23 am

    Hi,
    So i reached out to my ex with the first contact text…he was eager to hear what I had to say so he replied me after I sent the “hook” after which u sent the actual message. He didn’t reply on time and I sent him 4 other messages. Have I ruined my chances because he never replied any of those 4 messages.

  3. Patricia

    June 8, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Please!!!

    1. Patricia

      June 9, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      Hi Amor,
      I’m so sorry, I’m probably coming across as if I had some personality disorder. And yes, I know, I read all the articles on it and I never showed emotion, if anyone was being emotional, it was him. He’s depressed. He wouldn’t react well when I tried using topics he likes. He would ignore me. I know that I shouldn’t be emotional, because I’ve had extremly bad experiences when showing my real self and I’m normally in fact very closed (I know I’m being open now, writing my problems on the internet). So yesterday he asked for his things back, that probably means all the doors are closed now and I’ve missed my chance. Thank you for trying to help though. This website definitely brings success to alot of people, but I guess I’m just hopeless.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 13, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      If you’re moving on, we respect that.. And I really hope you can move on sooner

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Patricia,

      slowly building rapoprt means starting off with texts, and then calls and then meet ups later on.. And that means you don’t become emotional and try to rush things.. Think of him as a stranger that doesn’t have feelings for you but you do for him. How would build rapport and attraction with him in that mind? You would use interesting topics right? Your edge is that you know what topics he likes talking about.

  4. Patricia

    June 7, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Please help me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Patricia,

      slowly building rapoprt means starting off with texts, and then calls and then meet ups later on.. And that means you don’t become emotional and try to rush things.. Think of him as a stranger that doesn’t have feelings for you but you do for him. How would build rapport and attraction with him in that mind? You would use interesting topics right? Your edge is that you know what topics he likes talking about.

  5. Patricia

    June 6, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    I really messed up. So a few days ago you recommended me to slowly build rapport and I tried, but he’s responding with shorter and shorter messages and trying ro end conversations as quickly as possible. It’s really hurtful. I don’t think he’s thinking of me anymore. He’s obviously avoiding me and I’m really afraid that I’ve messed up and he’s found someone else. Please help me, I feel like I’m going insane.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Patricia,

      slowly building rapoprt means starting off with texts, and then calls and then meet ups later on.. And that means you don’t become emotional and try to rush things.. Think of him as a stranger that doesn’t have feelings for you but you do for him. How would build rapport and attraction with him in that mind? You would use interesting topics right? Your edge is that you know what topics he likes talking about.

  6. J

    May 31, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Hi again,
    Thank you so much for your answer Amor! So you don´t think he is just uninterested? Everything feels so strange. As I mentioned, the first text message after NC was a success. He even asked me several times why I was taking so long before answering his texts. So it felt like he just couldn’t wait for my response.

    Since he didn’t answer the other day, I send him a message asking if he was okay. He didn’t answered so I called… no answer. Then he texts me saying that he is very busy but that he would call me later but he never did… I know that I did a huge mistake by texting and calling him, but I was worried. I did this before I saw your answer Amor and I feel so stupid…

    Should I wait a few days or longer?

    Thanks in advance!

    1. Julia

      June 1, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      He never replied… is that a bad sign? I know that he is difficult to talk to when he is upset. I’m so afraid that he doesn’t care if I disappear again (like I did during NC). I was so happy after my first contact message, it felt like he was so happy to hear from me. I know that he is busy renovating his apartment but shouldnt he be more interested in my messages?

      Thank you so so so much for your help Amor!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 7:10 pm

      not really.. you should be the one who is less scared or at least not worry about it… it will cloud your judgment and will make you desperate.

    3. Julia

      June 1, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Hi again!

      As I mentioned earlier, I destroyed my ex’s key which he gave me when we were together. Today, he told me that he is really upset because of what I did. I answered and said that I did what I thought was the best thing to do since I was so sad directly after the break up. I just couldn’t stand seeing him at that time.

      How do I go forward from here?

      Thanks in advance!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2017 at 6:42 pm

      that’s a good reply.. what did he say after that? let him initiate for now.. continue your 5 day count.. if he initiates reply, after 5 days, initiate again in having conversations.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2017 at 4:55 pm

      well, he can be too.. hmm.. wait 5 days..

  7. J

    May 29, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    Hi,
    I met an amazing guy for 4 months ago. We both thought that we were perfect for each other and everything was great for the first 2,5 months. However, for six weeks ago everything started to change and suddenly he broke up with me and said ”it´s not you, it´s me” and ”you’ll meet an amazing guy who really deserves you”. A few days later I found this website and bought the book. I did the no contact for 4 weeks, did a lot of fun stuff which I posted on Instagram and followed the plan. He never contacted me during the NC period. For two days ago I send him the first text, an interesting one, and he responded in a very positiv way. However, when I tried to end the conversation he wrote that he had found some of my stuff at his place. Furthermore, he asked for his key back (he gave me a key to his place when we were together). Since I didn’t wanted to meet up right now (I would like to follow the plan), I just told him to throw my stuff and that the key had been destroyed after the breakup.
    Yesterday morning I send him another text message but he hasn’t responded.

    What went wrong? What should I do? I really miss him!

    I would really appreciate your help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      maybe he thought you were angry because you said to throw you stuff or maybe, he’s just busy.. wait 3 days before trying again…

  8. Julia

    May 29, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Hi,
    I met an amazing guy for 4 months ago. We both thought that we were perfect for each other and everything was great for the first 2,5 months. However, for six weeks ago everything started to change and suddenly he broke up with me and said ”it´s not you, it´s me” and ”you’ll meet an amazing guy who really deserves you”. A few days later I found this website and bought the book. I did the no contact for 4 weeks, did a lot of fun stuff which I posted on Instagram and followed the plan. For two days ago I send him a text, an interesting one, and he responded in a very positiv way. However, when I tried to end the conversation he wrote that he had found some of my stuff at his place. Furthermore, he asked for his key back (he gave me a key to his place when we were together). Since I didn’t wanted to meet up right now (I would like to follow the plan), I just told him to throw my stuff and that the key had been destroyed after the breakup.
    Yesterday morning I send him another text message but he hasn’t responded.

    What went wrong? What should I do? I really miss him!

    I would really appreciate your help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      maybe he thought you were angry because you said to throw you stuff or maybe, he’s just busy.. wait 3 days before trying again…

  9. Help

    May 3, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    So I commented on another post saying : my ex told me he wanted to ba alone for a while , I became pushy and he said to move on & ignored my last two texts that day . I started nc and haven’t heard from him , that was 3 days ago .
    I was going to buy something from one of his friends in a couple of days , which I was already going to do before the break up .
    I don’t have his friends number anymore is it ok to text and ask him for it ? Is that breaking the nc ?
    It would allow me to comment on the reply I got from Amour .

    So I sent a text(yesterday morning)
    He replied within five minutes
    I asked for the number
    He said hold on because he is driving .
    Then he never texted me the number …
    Now I’m wondering is that a sign he is over me? That he doesn’t care enough to get back to me ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2017 at 8:10 pm

      I’ll copy my answer there.

      if that’s really the only option and you only talk about it, its not but if you can get it through other friends or social media, you’re breaking it

      nope, it’s just a number.. that’s hard to say it from that

  10. Gwen

    April 22, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    Hi

    My comment doesn’t appear here I don’t know if I made it too long sorry. Anyway is it a good idea to stop texting him for like 3-4 days and then start again with tide theory and cliffhangers? Or is it better if I just continue writing him everyday to build rapport?? And if I wait and do tide theory again should I start 2 messages, 2, 4,4,… Or follow with the 6 messages I was right now…?

    Thanks in advance

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      That’s ok..yes, you can use the sample text of being comprehensive rather than asking why he’s not replying or slow to reply.. That way you don’t look like you’re accusing him and then rest from initiating for a few days.. It’s ok to use your gut feel on when you text him as long as your texts are not emotional

    2. Gwen

      April 22, 2017 at 9:07 pm

      omg sorry i’ve just seen the texts because my computer doesn’t keep the comments until I comment again. the one of day 18 is the important one I just thought I wasn’t sending them. My laptop wasn’t working.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      That’s ok..yes, you can use the sample text of being comprehensive rather than asking why he’s not replying or slow to reply.. That way you don’t look like you’re accusing him and then rest from initiating for a few days.. It’s ok to use your gut feel on when you text him as long as your texts are not emotional

  11. Tessa

    April 22, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    I think I messed up. Of course I tried to be strong in making sure how text were implicated but recently I just felt this urge of neediness. I’m trying to shake it off I don’t want to come off as needy! I noticed when I sent two texts and now I’m not sure if I should just try to compose myself and just laugh it off or do a no contact. I may just be paranoid

    He ended our text after two texts so I didn’t get to end it and that’s throwing me off

  12. Gwen

    April 18, 2017 at 10:54 am

    Hi Amor,

    Well right now I’m still trying to build rapport and using the tide theory but I have some doubts. When it says you have to text 1,2,4,5,… and it says 1st contact, 1st contact, funny, funny, memory, etc can you alternate it?? Or is it better to follow those kind of texts? I mean I’m now in the memory text part and I want to send him another memory text but if I do a story text then a memory one is ok?? Then also I’ve read in another comment that the person who asks tells about doing the daydream message, but I thought that was better when the rapport was built or doesn’t it matter and one can do the daydream message before or at how many days???

    Then, since I started talking with him again after NC I think he just has iniciated once. It’s just me who iniciates the conversation. It’s me too who is ending the conversation now because last week it was more complicated but this week I’m getting to be the one who ends the convo. I’ve thought about trying to write him normal today just building rapport and tomorrow another memory text with the 6 texts and after tomorrow leave him space to iniciate, but to keep building rapport we have to talk right?? So how long? Maybe I’ve thought about doing what you recommend in another comment and leave him a week and start with tide theory again. My doubt here is if I do that, do I have to start from scratch and go 2 texts 2 texts 4 texts 4 texts 6 texts etc?? Or just follow in the 6 texts part I am right now???

    Also, something happened and I was thinking about not giving it importance but, the thing is that by mistake I added his work number to a group because I had it in my contacts but with no name and we were joking in the group and adding contacts randomly and I couldn’t imagine it was his other number… the thing is that while he was in the group I talked with my friends about a friend with benefits I’ve had recently, I also say in the texts we are just normal friends now but omg I almost got crazy when my ex told me why had I added his work number to a group I couldn’t believe it. In those texts I also say I still love him to one of my friends. The thing is that he found almost 2000 messages when he turn his phone on, and that was just a little amount of the convo in the group, the rest was just lots of silly things and jokes and anything else about him. He told me he had to delete the group and didn’t read it because it was nearly 2000 texts and he was at work. I’ve being reading those 2000 texts and seeing the tick that shows who has read it and some parts aren’t read so I hope it’s true he just oppened it found the messages and deleted the group but well… should I worry about this?? Or just continue texting him as if nothing happened?
    I’ve thought that I have to keep on improving myself, go on with my activities and be more active on social media will that help anyway?

    And my last question is if asking him why he never texts is wrong?? I think it is but sometimes I feel desperate. Also, we had a talk yesterday, I was noticing he wasn’t alright because of the way he texts lately and I tried the “break his walls” advices here and asked him if he was ok and telling him he can count on me if he needs. He was very thankful and told me that it means so much to him that I noticed because he sees I care about him. (Btw it’s that he’s having family problems.) Then I just ended the convo but was when he asked me about the group and all that I talk about before…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      That’s ok..yes, you can use the sample text of being comprehensive rather than asking why he’s not replying or slow to reply.. That way you don’t look like you’re accusing him and then rest from initiating for a few days.. It’s ok to use your gut feel on when you text him as long as your texts are not emotional

  13. Gwen

    April 17, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Hi Amor,

    What if I text him and he doesn’t answer until the next day and seems very distant?? Should I wait like another day for answering him or just after he texts me?? Because I feel it looks like I’m too much after him…
    Btw, I just texted yesterday: “Good morning, I have a question” and today he answered just “Hello tell me”
    And he is acting weird because he was starting to be more open with me and we were texting more and he seems more distant, also because he usually calls me by the abreviation of my name and today he has wrote my entire name, he never does that.
    Also, in the post where it talks about breaking his walls, in the part of alter my response it says I should be comprehensive, so I’ve thought I could tell him “I think you are dealing with something right now. You don’t have to tell me but I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anything” (like the post says)
    But really I don’t know what to do, do I wait for texting if this happens and also do I talk about what he’s thinking??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      That’s ok..yes, you can use the sample text of being comprehensive rather than asking why he’s not replying or slow to reply.. That way you don’t look like you’re accusing him and then rest from initiating for a few days.. It’s ok to use your gut feel on when you text him as long as your texts are not emotional

  14. Gwen

    April 17, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Hi Amor,

    What if I text him and he doesn’t answer until the next day and seems very distant?? Should I wait like another day for answering him or just after he texts me?? Because I feel it looks like I’m too much after him…
    Btw, I just texted yesterday: “Good morning, I have a question” and today he answered just “Hello tell me”
    And he is acting weird because he was starting to be more open with me and we were texting more and he seems more distant, also because he usually calls me by the abreviation of my name and today he has wrote my entire name, he never does that.
    Also, in the post where it talks about breaking his walls, in the part of alter my response it says I should be comprehensive, so I’ve thought I could tell him “I think you are dealing with something right now. You don’t have to tell me but I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anything” (like the post says)
    But really I don’t know what to do, do I wait for texting if this happens and also do I talk about what he’s thinking??

    (I’m having problems posting the comments I don’t know if I’m posting it more times)

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      That’s ok..yes, you can use the sample text of being comprehensive rather than asking why he’s not replying or slow to reply.. That way you don’t look like you’re accusing him and then rest from initiating for a few days.. It’s ok to use your gut feel on when you text him as long as your texts are not emotional

  15. J

    March 23, 2017 at 7:41 am

    Hello! So I just finished the no contact rule. I started off with a text referring to something funny from a class “hey remember that class you took when you did …” and he didn’t reply. Then, I messaged the next morning saying I got the class syllabus from a friend already and saying I hope he is doing well and if he would like to get coffee. He then replies and says we should just be acquaintances and not meet though he appreciates the gesture. What does this mean/what should I do? He was clearly displaying interest in me while at work 2 weeks prior, and was displaying that interest for four weeks straight once a week ( we have work once a week ).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 6:48 am

      Hi J,

      you asked too early for a meet up.. slowly, be more friendly in person..

  16. Natalia

    March 18, 2017 at 6:34 am

    Hello,
    My first message after NC went good, he replied positively and then I finished the convo with ‘I’ll catch you later’. He didnt respond.
    Then I took one day off from texting.
    Next day I send also interesting message, we exchanged 3 txts and then I finished with smth like ‘I really wish to know how are your studies going etc but my phone battery is dying, I’ll talk to you later’. He replied ‘I’ll talk to you later, have a safe journey to home’.

    So now – I guess it means he is giving me signs he will txt me first and I should wait? How long it should be?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 6:58 pm

      Hi Natalia,

      can be, but it’s ok to initiate if he doesnt.. wait a day if he will initiate

  17. Mary

    March 7, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    Hello Chris,

    I am On day eight where we build attraction and rapport in text messages. Should I be starting off with a day dream text or should I start the conversation off with a topic and then make my way into the “What are your biggest dreams text”

    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2017 at 11:04 am

      Hi Mary,

      start off with a topic and then proceed to daydream text..

  18. Mary

    March 7, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    Hello Chris,

    I am On day eight where we build attraction and rapport in text messages. Should I be starting off with a day dream text or should I start the conversation off with a topic and then make my way into the “What are your biggest dreams text”

    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2017 at 11:05 am

      Hi Mary,

      start off with a topic and then proceed to daydream text..

  19. Stephanie

    February 25, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    I have a question about the texting bible and texting section of your recovery program. Are we always the one who have to initiate the conversation? I finished the 31 days NC & I hit up my ex ten times in the course of two weeks, he always replies, but never starts the conversation with me & leaves me hanging at times. I feel like we have become more like friends then anything & its my fault I thought if I suggested being friends first he will be more open to speaking and hitting me uo first! Idk what to do anymore. 🙁

    1. Stephanie

      April 4, 2017 at 2:50 am

      He didn’t get into the academy this time around and was put in physic review … he is really stressed about the whole thing & dislikes he’s job now…. reason he says he has no patience or time to focus on anything but his career right now .. & I got stuck in the middle. I try to be there for him & support him … but I guess he saw it more as a bother & decided not to be friends nomore …

    2. Stephanie

      April 2, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      Hello,
      So the last words my ex told me before ending our friendship were …”Things are not the same. Right now I need to keep my eye on the prize because my dream is knocking on my door right now. I’m on review for nypd but I could get off of it and now I’m starting the Suffolk police process. I can’t afford to be lose my focus and to do that I need to be extremely selfish and focus solely on my self. No one is going to hand me my dream I have to push myself harder and farther then I ever have in my whole life if I’m going to get this. I flake on everyone and leave people hanging all the time now but everyone understands that I need to focus on what’s in front of me right now. There is no plan b if I don’t get into a police department so I have to be extremely focused and have no patience for anything other then myself right now.” ….. I’m proceeding with a 45 NC rule, maybe 60 days. Is been 15 days since our last conversation…. but after his last message about needing to just focus on himself and ending our friend ship .. I don’t know if I even have a chance or if I should even ever be the one to intiate contact again. How do I become this ungettiable girl? And when the NC period is over how would I intiate contact again for the second time around of doing NC?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      That’s good that he knows he has to push for his dream.. When is he going to be a police? check the link below:
      The Ungettable Girl

    4. Stephanie

      March 11, 2017 at 4:43 pm

      Is been four days since I last contacted him. Two days ago I posted on my Snapchat story a picture with guy friend from college who is attractive, he has his girlfriend though but he offered to take the picture with me and suggested I posted it. In less than an hour my ex opened my story & saw it. Snapchat lets you see the people that have viewed your story. Could this change things a little? Do I still proceed with 45 NC?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2017 at 4:51 pm

      you’re already friendzoned..He made it clear that you’re not dating, so what’s more to lose? The goal from now is to get out of the friendzone. that’s why you need to be an ungettable girl..

    6. Stephanie

      March 10, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      45 days? He may never talk to me again. We didn’t have a long relationship it was only 3 months. We never got to the I love you phase. Wouldn’t I loose him completely? He always showed he cared a lot for me through his actions and he moved things really quick with me he was excited to present me to family & friends … he said he hasn’t had a relationship in years &was the second girl he presented to his family. So I don’t understand when he left me for something so petty. Only because I got upset at him for not coming to see me & he said he couldn’t handle my passive aggressive attitude he had a bad day at work & said he just didn’t have the patience for it, but to stay friends. But I completely messed up in the way I handled the break up &I think that’s what really messed things up. If I do the 45 days what would I say… I wouldn’t start with the same initating texts as before right ?

    7. Stephanie

      March 9, 2017 at 2:45 am

      I didn’t take the week off from texting & I’m clearly still friend zoned. Thats all we are now friends. We decided to catch up Saturday so we went out to eat. After, I got upset when he wasn’t responding to my messages & was clearly on fb. He told me that I’m forgetting we are just friends & not dating. I told him of course thats clear to me & I don’t want to get back together because I lost all my feelings of attraction for you. But that’s not true I’m still in love with him. & now I feel he is more distant then ever. Should I start NC again ? Idk what to do please help?!

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      I think you should and this time, you cant get angry with him..it’s frustrating but you won’t build rapport if you get angry.. Dont be too available after nc .. start dating too and after nc, dont stop your activities.. Do new things and make new friends.. He has to think you’re really moving on..because right now, you’re saying one thing but your actions show you’re expecting another.. You have to be the one ending the conversations at high point too after nc… I think you should do at least 45. You have to risk losing him because of wanting to hold on so badly to him, you’re starting to look like you’re chasing.. Be the ungettable girl…

    9. Stephanie

      March 8, 2017 at 3:30 am

      I’m clearly still friend zoned. Thats all we are now friends. We decided to catch up Saturday so we went out to eat. After, I got upset when he wasn’t responding to my messages & was clearly on fb. He told me that I’m forgetting we are just friends & not dating. I told him of course thats clear to me & I don’t want to get back together because I lost all my feelings of attraction for you. But that’s not true I’m still in love with him. I don’t know what to do I’m always the one texting & always he leaves me hanging. No matter how nice I’m being. I don’t know what to do more. I made sure he knows I’m there for him, that I would never judge him, & accept him how is & that I care for him. I never said I want to get back together. Just that we could be good friends & I told him to make things clear I don’t want anything more than that… only because I was afraid of rejection and loosing him out of my life again. I don’t know what to do anymore…

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      Hi Stephanie,

      it’s not really a “must” but it’s ok that you’re the one initiating, just be the one to end the conversation at high point. Are you trying to end it in cliffhanger?

  20. Daria

    February 25, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    Hello, so I recently started initiating conversation with my ex this week after completing 31 days no contact. The responses so far have been positive and he has been responding in a timely manner. I have been following the texting chart Chris has laid out in the ebook, but on Monday I will be leaving for Costa Rica for a week and will not have access, to the internet in order to text him. Does this mean all rapport will be lost when I leave? Should I start over with texting or pick up where I left off? I will be on day 7 or texting when I leave.

    1. Stephanie

      February 26, 2017 at 4:01 pm

      He ends the conversation most of the time & I’m feeling like he really isn’t in the mode to speak sometimes. This really bothers b/c he use to text me all the time before and will always initiate. Next time I speak to him I’ll make sure to end on a cliffhanger…. but my cousin phorbided me to hit him up first again and suggested I wait for him to hit him up because she says I’m coming off as needy or desperate.. what do you think?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Rest for a week from initiating, and then after that be in control by always being the one ending the conversation at high point.

    3. Daria

      February 26, 2017 at 12:31 am

      Thanks Amor, this helps.

      Although.. I have had a lot of different feedback on this and my friends have been the ones saying that I shouldn’t be the one initiating contact with him first. I have been trying my best to end conversations on a high note with him, but will me initiating contact with me first get him to miss me or even get him to start messaging me first at all

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      It’s ok to initiate contact as long as you end the conversations at high point. You need to keep talking because talking builds rapport. And ending it yourself at high point gives you more power over the conversation. The quality of the conversation and how you continue to improve yourself can help him miss you more..

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2017 at 10:19 pm

      Hi Daria,
      Nope, it won’t. Use it to your advantage. Have fun, take lots of pictures and do a lot of stuff that you can share to him and talk about. You can continue with the topics you left off or start new ones.

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