Sometimes things happen and you have a falling out with your boyfriend.

You end up sleeping with someone else.  You didn’t plan for it to happen and you love your boyfriend dearly.  But now you are worried your boyfriend will find out that you have been sleeping around.

Or perhaps your situation is that you and your ex boyfriend are struggling to get the relationship back on track. The last thing you want him to know is that you slept with some other man.

So how can you hide from your ex boyfriend that you slept with somebody else. You don’t want him to find out because you still love him.

If he was to hear even a whisper of you bedding up with someone else,  you know it would doom your chances.   And you sure don’t want that if you still have a “thing” for your ex.

Is Your Boyfriend One of Those Possessive Types – Watching Your Every Move?

overwhelmed with worry

But what if he knows. How would he know you screwed up and climbed into bed with some guy you don’t even love? Is there something you did that gave yourself away?

Can he really tell somehow that I cheated behind his back?

My quick answer to your question is:

No, he probably does not suspect. I mean really, think about it.  It’s not like your boyfriend is spying on you every minute of your life. It is unlikely he can tell that you were with another man, unless you were sloppy and did not take precautions.

But what if he is one of those super jealous types.  What if you have a controlling, possessive ex boyfriend who won’t let you out of his sight?

OK, let’s get real. Yes, there are guys out there who want to control your every move and seems far too interested in everything you do.

But how can your boyfriend really know that you were with someone else in that way? The odds are not really that great. You know, this kind thing (sleeping around) happens a lot more than most people realize.  A little hanky panky is going on everyday all over.

And guess what!

Your boyfriend is no mind reader.  Nor does your boyfriend have a tracking device, watching you like a hawk.  That would really be crazy.

After all, you were really careful, right?

And you only slept with this other guy just once.  Or perhaps it was more often, but you shouldn’t have to walk around in a state of panic that your boyfriend is going to find out, should you?

Not unless your boyfriend has some kind of sixth sense about such things. Right?

So many questions, isn’t there!

But the biggest one is what are the ways your boyfriend might learn about you having sex behind his back?

How would he ever come to suspect you are fooling around?

What are the signs that your boyfriend is suspicious that you might be messing around?

As you probably know, once your boyfriend suspects something is off, he might just keep snooping around until he finds something.  You sure don’t need that in your life.

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Can You Stop Your Ex Boyfriend From Snooping Around Your Love Life

spy glasses

Men can be very protective of their woman. Your boyfriend doesn’t want anyone messing with you, never mind having sex with you.  Even if he is your ex, he is not ready to to hear about you going to bed with another man.

If he catches even a hint of it, all he will be thinking about is whether you gave it up to some other guy.  In that moment, it will start obsessing, maybe even spying and snooping, trying to get proof of his worst fear.

If you thought things weren’t going so well with your ex boyfriend now, imagine the blow back if he actually learned you had sex with somebody else.  It doesn’t matter if you just had a weak moment and let your guard down.  Or that you were lonely and was looking for some companionship.  He won’t care about any of that.

So he can’t know.

Therefor you want to get ahead of all this by erasing any chance your ex will find out you were with someone else.

Let’s make sure he doesn’t find out.  Because I know of no foolproof way of stopping him from snooping around, checking up on you, particularly if something weird hits his radar screen.

Don’t Freak Out – He Probably Doesn’t Have Any Proof That You Slept With Someone

So if your ex boyfriend is watching you closely, checking into your whereabouts and asking friends about you, don’t freak out. He could be just testing you or following a fantasy in his own mind.

It turns out there are certain ways he can learn about your darkest, most intimate secrets.

And there are certain things you should and shouldn’t do in order to keep those secrets just to yourself.  After all, if we are talking about an ex boyfriend, a guy you want back in your life, you don’t want to mess up your chances!

So listen up!

If you have a boyfriend and you are worried that he knows that you slept with some new guy you met or possibly an old boyfriend; then you best learn how to keep your intimate secrets hidden from him.  And I have 7 ways to make sure he doesn’t learn.

Otherwise your world is about to get a lot more complicated.

7 Ways Your Boyfriend Can Find Out That You Have Been Sleeping Around

he is watching you

So I know you are determined to make sure this little cheating you did on the side doesn’t land you in trouble.

Let’s say you and your boyfriend are having some troubles. Maybe the two of you broke up. So now he is your ex.  But you know you still want him. But there is this other guy too that you like.  One night, things got out of hand and you ended up sleeping over at this place and you had sex.  Now you regret it because you don’t want to screw things up with your boyfriend even more.

Worst, you are now freaking out that your ex will find out.

You don’t want him learning that you had sex with this other guy.  You plan to see your ex boyfriend soon and you can’t get it out of your head that he must already know.

You find yourself constantly asking yourself, can my boyfriend feel if I slept with another guy?

Yep, you are getting a little crazy in the mind with all the drama that is unfolding in your life.

Should I Be Worried That My Boyfriend Might Learn I Hooked Up With This Guy I Met?

Well you can stop freaking out because the truth is that it is not easy to tell if two people are sleeping together.

Now your ex might be the suspicious type. He might fear that you are going to get mixed up with some other guy.  Your boyfriend might be the jealous type to the extreme, such that you are always looking over your shoulder.

But you should know that your ex can’t read your mind. He doesn’t know all of your actions.  He can’t control what you choose to do with your body. And if you chose to sleep with some one else, then just own it to yourself. Learn from it and keep it quiet if you still see a future with your ex.

Things happen like this all time.  It is not always right or wrong. Life moves on.

But I will warn you, your mind might think crazy and panicky thoughts.

Just remind yourself that your boyfriend has not enlisted an army of spies watching your every move.  More often than not, when you get overwhelmed with the fear that your ex knows you slept with somebody else, just know that it is highly likely he knows nothing and it’s just your panic thoughts running away from you.

So how can your boyfriend or an ex boyfriend find out about you hooking up with some other guy?  It turns out there are 7 main ways he can find out your most intimate secrets.

1. You Tell Him That You Slept With Somebody Else and It Was A Huge Mistake

You know something?  It might make you feel temporarily good to think that you boyfriend or ex will be really understanding if you just told him the full truth.

Honesty is the best policy, right?

Well my friend, I don’t think that is always the case.  Sometimes your guilt will get the better of you.  You can’t stop yourself thinking about how you were a “bad girl” and slept around.  So you figure that I will just open up and tell my boyfriend the whole truth.  Don’t do it.  It is almost always a BIG MISTAKE.  Your guilt will quickly be replaced by regret. If you had a thing with another guy, but you are still very much in love with your ex boyfriend, just keep a lid on it.

2. You Boyfriend Finds Evidence That You Lied

he knows something

There are lots of ways in which you can stumble if you were with another guy, leaving evidence scattered all around.

Let’s say your ex boyfriend came came over to see you at your apartment to get some of his things.  Are perhaps you asked him over because you felt guilt and wanted to erase the memory of hooking up with a friend or acquaintance of his.  This happens a lot. In their eagerness to rub away the guilt of cheating, a girl may end up inviting her boyfriend to come over. But unbeknownst to her, the other guy left something and your boyfriend finds it, noticing immediately it does not belong.

Or it could be that he got a hold of your phone and saw a text and he questions you about it.  Of course you lie. But as the lies pile up on each other, you end up implicating yourself.  So make sure you calm yourself down and think about what the two of you did and then get rid of everything that could tie you and your forbidden lover together.

3. Your Ex Saw You With Him and Just Put It Together

When we are close to someone, we end up running in the same circles, often living near each other, visiting the some spots.  It is also not unusual for your boyfriend (or ex) to follow you around, eager to catch a glimpse of what you are up to.  It could be very innocent. He might want to surprise you. Or if it’s an ex boyfriend, he might not be able to help himself.  You are his love and joy, so he sometimes watches you from afar. It’s like having an ex who is a friendly stalker.  Whatever it is that allowed him to see the two of you together, perhaps kissing or holding hands or embracing, he essentially catches you in the act.

4. The Guy You Had a Fling With Shot Off His Mouth

You probably know that having sex with this guy was wrong if you truly love your ex boyfriend. And you can’t take what you did back.  But nor can you control who he tells this to and what these other people end up saying or doing.  What if your newfound lover goes off and starts bragging about how he had you.  Maybe he tells a few friends.  Even worse, he tells your ex boyfriend that he banged you.  Maybe he did it out of spite because they don’t get along.  Maybe it was for ego gratification.  But whatever made him do such a stupid thing, you end up with a holy mess.  So it best to make sure you impress upon your sex friend that he has to keep his mouth closed.

5. Your Ex Figures It Out From Some Social Media Clues

Now certainly, you would not give up this intimate information about yourself directly.  But I have seen cases in which girls will post a picture or tell a story on their Facebook or Snapchat account about an outing they had.  Perhaps this was the outing that led to you sleeping with this other man. But you did not intend for any of that to get out.  But let’s say your ex sees what you posted and comes across a pic of this guy you were with.  Maybe you didn’t even post the pic.  It could have been a girlfriend who was with you on this fun outing.  But let’s say your  boyfriend sniffs it out and starts investigating, cross referencing against other social media pages.  Adding it all up, he might choose to ambush you with his accusations.

6. A Friend of Your Boyfriend Saw or Heard Something About You and This Guy You Slept With

You can’t control what everyone knows and sees.  So it is possible that your boyfriend’s best friend or maybe a jealous former girlfriend of his learns something.  Maybe you were seen in a compromising position, locked in an intimate embrace.  Whatever it was, someone can see and gossip about it, even lie about what they saw.  But the bottom line is that your cover could get blown if you thought you were being discreet. Lots of people out there have different agendas so it’s easy for you to get caught out in someone else’s agenda.

7.  You Told Someone Who Told Someone and Now Your Ex Boyfriend Knows You Were With Someone Else

Sometimes you don’t have to look any farther than yourself.  You think that you can trust someone, but the reality is people can’t let you down, even your best friends.  It is not unusual for you to feel badly about having slept with somebody other than your boyfriend.  You might be seeking advice as to what to do or maybe you just need to talk to someone close who will understand and lend you some emotional support.  Unfortunately you can end up revealing far too much and before you know it certain private details makes the loop from person to person.  Somehow, as unlikely as it may seem. your ex boyfriend ends up hearing about your exploits and it all started with you.

9 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Ex Boyfriend From Finding Out About Your Secret Love Life

clever ways to throw him off

  1. Don’t tell your Ex (or your boyfriend) that you slept with some other dude no matter had bad you feel about it.
  2. Delete all of your text messages with this other lover so your boyfriend doesn’t stumble upon them.
  3. Don’t tell your best friend, no matter how much you trust her, that you hooked up with some guy you both know.
  4. If you slept with this other guy in your apartment, remove all traces that he was there.
  5. Don’t write down in your journal about what this wonderful sexual experience you had.  Later you may want to get back with your ex boyfriend and you sure don’t want him finding and reading your journal
  6. If you slept with somebody other than your boyfriend and regret it, end it.
  7. Remove all traces of this other guy’s images on your Social Media accounts.  Rest assured, if you and your ex are still a “thing”, he will be looking into all these images to try and connect just how close you were to them.
  8. Be prepare for your ex (or your boyfriend) to do the jealousy sneak attack where he questions whether you went to bed with someone else. When this assault comes, simply tell him you will not dignify his accusations with a response.
  9. If you are involved with someone else, but are not sure where it’s headed and don’t want your ex to know about your personal life; then be careful with how you charge any expenses that might point to anything related to your intimate encounters (e.g. hotel stays, intimate lingerie, sex toys, exotic trips, etc).

Frequently Asked Questions About Whether Your Ex Suspects You of  Seeing Other Men

1. I am afraid my old boyfriend suspects I slept with his best friend, which I did.  I am not sure how to handle this.

How you proceed depends on many factors.  Do you still want to get back with your old boyfriend?  How long has it been since the two of you were together and had sex?  If he knew you were sleeping with his best friend, would it be considered fair play or did the two of you have an understanding that you were both just take a time out from each other?

I have seen these things go both ways.  Sometimes the ex is outraged at you and there is no return.  Sometimes he is extremely upset with his friend.  Sometimes your old boyfriend will wish you both well.  His reaction will in part depend on the history you had with him, the quality of the past relationship with him, and length of time you have been separated and the love interest you have in each other.

2. I made a huge mistake and got drunk at a party and slept with this random guy.  I will never do it again but am afraid my boyfriend will find out and it will be over for us.

Look, we all make mistakes and unless there is clear evidence that is floating around in public about what happened (like people saw you being very intimate together or actually have sex), then put it behind you.

What is more important in the long run is to try to understand why you felt the need to sleep with this random guy.  Do you have a drinking problem?  Is there something missing in your current relationship?  Was this other guy incredibly attractive and it just happened?  Are you experiencing issues with your self esteem and needed reinforcement that you are beautiful and desirable?

3. When can you be sure your ex boyfriend isn’t following you around.  I am dating this other guy and I don’t want my ex to know that we might be getting intimate.  I am not over him yet.

Sometimes our minds can run away from us.  So if you and your ex are no longer seeing each other, then it is perfectly fine to see someone else.  If you end up having sex, that is your business.

Don’t fret over whether he will find out about it or not.  Just be discreet and tell your new partner you value your privacy and ask him to be discreet as well.

4. I don’t want my boyfriend to know I hooked up with my ex.  It was a one time deal.  I just had a weak moment.  But it would just destroy him if he knew.

The past is behind us, so your choice of having sex with your former lover can’t be changed.  It is not unusual to feel a strong connection to someone you were once so close with.  So don’t feel shame.

Take all of the precautions that are reasonable so as to not unintentionally reveal that the two of your were together.  Then move on. The less you think about it, the better.  If necessary, speak to your old boyfriend about keeping what you did private.  If your current boyfriend acts suspicious and questions you, don’t get defensive.  Be truthful about everything except the sex part.  Don’t admit to initiating contact with him if indeed that is what happened. Chances are he does not have any definitive evidence you had sex and while being fully honest is admirable and may rid you of your guilt, it is not pragmatic for this situation.

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