18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,519 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Keelin

September 24, 2017 at 2:54 am

Hello,

My name is Keelin.

So I just watched the webinar and purchased the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro package but I really need advice because I seriously feel that there is no hope.

Me and my ex dated for a year and a half.

The begining of the relationship:
We met at work and we started talking. We were already very interested in each other. I remeber him telling me when we were dating that we was always interested in me even before we started talking. and i was always staring at him from across the room, intrigued by his demeanor and curious as to why he never spoke to anyone. he was genuinley mysterious.
Unfortunately, we started talking and ended up having sex while i was with my then boyfriend of 5 years. I eventually told my ex that I had a boyfriend and he still stayed with me. I broke up with me previous ex to be with my now ex. I fell madly in love so fast. He was perfect in everyway.
We met when we were both at our lowest place in life at the time. He was depressed and unhappy at work and was incredibly anti social. I was also depressed from work, and my home life was a nightmare. So, our relationship started in the way that we both wanted company, needed to feel loved. We went out a partied and drank constantly, had sex constantly. But, throughout the year he started to pick himself back up out of his hole and became happy again. He was making efforts to change himself and his situations at work. And he did, he became a social butterfly and was happy. He fell in love with me and wanted a real realtionship with me. He committed from day 1. I, however, did not change. I couldnt pull myself out of my own hole and instead dug deeper into my depression, and it started to show and come off to him. We were always fighting, we broke up at least 15 times throughout the year and a half. He always came back though, and tried to make it work. But, I wasn’t committed. I treated it like a high school relationship and never once thought it would last, ,even though my heart knew that he was the love of my life. I didn’t show it though, I never once showed it to him.

He: gave me everything
treated me like a queen
took me to iceland for valentines day
cooked dinner and set a table up with candles and wine
took me out on dates all the time
played board games with me
asked to go to museums, and camping and tried to get me to buy a helmet so he could teach me how to ride a motorcycle and ride with him
he wanted me to move in with him
he bought me gifts for no reason

And I:
laughed in his face about moving in with him
never surprised him with gifts
never paid for outings or dinner
never brought over wine when going to his apartment
never held his hand
never hugged him in the morning when we met before going to work
never played games with him
never got that helmet..
never wanted to go out and do anything other than drink and party
i made a date with someone while we were on a break but he was there when i made the date…holding my bags becasue even though we werent together he still came shopping with me…
in iceland, i wouldnt cuddle with him…i texted my friends while we were out having a wonderful dinner on valentines day…
i punched him the face because he refused to go to the bar where the guy i made a date with worked…and i didnt understand why..

He waited so patiently for me to get my shit together, he always told me how much he loved me and wanted me to be happy and get out of the dark place i was in. i do believ he wanted to marry me. what he felt was real and i couldn never just open up to him to show him how i really felt. i closed up because i didnt think it was real. didnt think someone could love me that much.
we even went to couples therapy, he offered to pay for me to go to therapy because in his exact words “you didnt think you meant that much to me? didnt see that i offered to pay for therapy because i wanted to be with you even though i knew you had issues??”

the week before we broke up he said “I think you’re worth it” but then a wek later i woke up and saw a message from him that said “im breaking up with you and blocking you” I was devastated, and in that moment everything i felt for him came out. My heart started to bleed love and I realized everything I had done to him, everything I didnt show to him. I made him miserable the whole entire relationship but he still stayed because he loved me.

What happened after:

We broke up August 18th 2017. The first week I called him constantly and everytime I did he would just yell at me. He said “FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, I fucking HATE you.” And then we emailed back and forth for the next 2 weeks. He said “I’m trying to give you closure, forgive you and not hate you.” He said “even if you did change, it wouldnt matter. It’s too late for us.”

And then the 3rd week he blocked me on everything. So, I went to his house…to see him. Which I’ve been told is the absolute worst thing you can do. And when I went to his house I was too scared to own up to the fact that I made the trp just to see him, knowing that he wanted to be left alone. So instead, I said I had a date with someone in the area so I thought I’d stop by to say I was sorry. Instant anger, instant yelling. He’s since called me “psycho, stalker, dumb bitch, pathetic, half-assed.” Things he has never said to me. I’ve seen him mad, I’ve never seen him like this before. Enraged.

But even after that, the next day he told my roommate “Who knows if I’ll speak to her again in 6 years, 6 months or 6 weeks, but right now she needs to get her shit together and leave me alone.” And I did, for 3 days. And then I saw him walk out of his office while waiting for my roommate ( they work together) and he didn’t see me. But his friend did and while they were walking away, my ex looked back at me….smiling like he was proud of leaving me. I don’t blame him but, I broke down right then and there because I think his friend said something to make him look back at me. Maybe “shes here stalking you.” or “shes here” So about 40 min later I broke the NC rule and texted him, and then I called him again. And again, instant anger, instant rage. Then the net day, August 16th, I sent him one last message telling him how sorry I am and that I need to pick myself up and get better and that I wouldn’t message him again. And I haven’t, It’s been one week exactly today that I havent spoken to him or seen him. And it’s killing me. But the question thats been bothering me for days is “did i leave him alone too late?” did all the constant messaging and badgering on the verge of harrassment for a solid month push him all the way off the cliff and now instead of forgiving me, he just wants to forget me? it must be so much easier to move on instantly and get over me when ive shown nothing but craziness towards him for a month. I’m thinking he went from loving me and hurting to actually thinking im insane and can now move on completely.

I’m not connected to him anymore, I’m not in the picture anymore. I don’t know what hes thinking or what hes feeling for me or in general. All of the questions and fears raised in the webinar are exactly what im going through.

I’ve been told he went on a date, that hes going hiking and camping constantly. That hes smiling in work and going to the gym all the time.

I’ve been talking to all my friends and some of them say that its real, what hes doing is making him happy and he seems like hes moving on. Some say he’s doing it all to distract himself from thinking about me. But, I don’t know which one to believe.

I don’t know how much I meant to him, if he really could move on this fast? i cant tell if all the hurtful things he said to me are the truth or if hes just hurting and damaged because of what ive done?

He says he doesnt love me anymore, and i dont know if thats true or not. he says he doesnt believe that i love him and if thats the case then its easy to move on.

If all the things he tells me are true, then he’ll never come back. But, I don’t know it they’re true so I can’t tell. I don’t know if he thinks about me or misses me or anything. I’m in the dark and I seriously need some advice.

With all the things I’ve done to him, why would he take me back? Why would he want to put himself in that position again? How much did and does he love me if at all?

How the hell do I get him back because honestly, I have never ever felt like this for someone in my entire life. He is the love of my life and I only showed him pain and misery and suffereing when we were together.

I’m rambling, I’m sorry. I hope you guys read this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 7:40 pm

HI Keelin,

We can’t guarantee that you would get your ex back but the best you can do is stop chasing and start the no contact rule and follow the advises in the book and in the articles here to help increase your chances.

wantthebest

September 22, 2017 at 10:20 pm

Hi. My boyfriend and I kind of broke up in a weird and sudden way. One night we were texting and I asked him what he was doing and he said trying to figure some stuff out. I asked him about what and he said things about us and maybe a change of jobs. ( This occurred on Tuesday and on Sunday he was approached by a recruiting manager to join their team which made him think about changing jobs) Anyways, he then said that we were young and should be able to do the things we want to do and he felt that he couldnt do that with me. He said he comes to feel obligated to do certain things and that he just wasnt happy anymore. We gave each other space for 2 days and on thursday he said we had to talk and that we should break up. Obviously I didn’t agree and we had a 3 hour long conversation that just went back and forth. It ended to where he said he couldn’t talk to me anymore cause he was getting mad and I apologized for that and told him that I loved him and goodnight. A week passed and this wednesday I asked if he was busy and he at first said kind of but then his plans were cancelled so he agreed to talk. basically the talk resulted in him saying that he wanted freedom ( because i was controlling him on what he could or couldn’t do because of his prioritization on work and school and having fun with alcohol and things of that nature). and i told him that if we communicated this that we could fix things he said no he didn’t want to put in the time and effort. while he was saying all this he shed a few tears and he and i ended up having a few intimate moments. he later said that he had to go meet up with friends and asked if i still had his key. i said yeah and he said just lock up and you can come see the cats whenever. when i left his house i texted him a little paragraph wishing him good luck at his new job and for talking to me that day and what not. he didn’t text back but he still opens my snapchats and snapchats me to keep our streak. My question is why did he let me keep his key and will he ever come back? it seems to me that he is a bit confused at where he is in life based off the text he sent on tuesday ” trying to figure some things out”.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2017 at 8:24 pm

yeah, he probably is confused.. if he is, it is likely that he will come back

Sasha

September 21, 2017 at 5:57 pm

After twenty years together we decided to mutually split,two weeks later he tells our son he’s got a new GF,seven weeks later get takes her on holiday,then moves in with her. It’s been six months and I have been busy working on me. I went NC almost immediately because I had suspicions he was cheating and I was right. Yes I was hurt and angry,but knew it was the end of the road. He has been a nightmare. Checking up on me,asking friends about me constantly,trying to take the car off me, begging not to see other men,getting his friend to stalk my FB…and it continues regularly. Yet he’s still with the OW. He looks terrible,but makes out to our son life is rosey…he’s lost friends, lied to people,and made himself look a complete idiot,and I have not one ounce of sympathy….my problem is I still think about him regularly,and even though I know I don’t want a cheat back,feel sad ……help! Does this mean I still love him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2017 at 7:44 pm

Hi Sashw,

Can be or it can be just normal human emotions, you’re missing him out of habit because you were with him for a long time

Simran

September 7, 2017 at 7:12 am

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for four years and he was the best boyfriend till then. After the forth year things started falling apart and we started fighting and breaking up and the on off game continued till he has to move to another city. He then said he doesn’t want to continue the relationship because now that he’s in another city he has to live peacefully without any responsibilities and commitment. He said that he’s tired of our relationship and the countless fights and arguments and now he wants to stay away from all this but he never stopped loving me. I was not accepting this so I tried to call/text him for like two months. He used to ignore me and sometimes he blocked me. He at that time started talking to another girl (as a friend) and he told me to move on too. I begged him not to do so but he said that he can’t stop talking to her. Hearing this I cut all the contacts with him and I was actually doing fine but then I got to know that he’s been keeping all my information. A guy was stalking me and disturbing me so he (my ex) kinda fought with him saying to stay away from me and not to disturb/oppress me in any way because he loves me and he would cut anyone who oppresses me. There was also a girl who got into a fight with me started abusing me and all, so my ex got to know about that then he also took her class and threatened her not to say even a single bad word to me otherwise she will be in great problem and she will face his wrath. He told all his friends, my friends that he still loves me alot but he’s not just ready for any commitment. After few days out of blue he called me saying that the another girl he was talking to was a bitch and that he’s sorry for everything he said and that he may work things out with me if I don’t fight again and break up again or make any drama. I accepted him and we started talking again (we were in a long distance relationship at this time) and he was doing great with me for few days but soon he got very busy with his life and he only called me at midnight for talking. I started getting angry and we started fighting over phone. After all this he said you’ll not change your behavior and again you’re making a scene and doing all the drama by fighting over nothing and he said he don’t want to continue the relationship. He also said its not just about me but he’s done with relationships and he don’t want to come into any relationship with any girl and that he wants to make his career. So he left me that night calling it quit forever saying not to contact him again. I begged him to stay but he didn’t so I also let him go. (Present day) he is in my city for one day, he contacted me in the morning saying he wants to meet me to end things on a good note and that he needs to talk about somethings like a friend. I first ignored him but then I asked me directly that if you want to mend up things on a serious note and want to patch up with me then we can meet and we can clear things out between us and we make new strategy to work it out then only I can meet you. If NOT then there’s no need to hang out and we can never talk to each other. He said that he doesn’t want to get back together but he still loves me but he wants to make his career first and I might be a barrier of that so he just wants to meet up and nothing else. I didn’t replied him back and in my heart I’ve let him go again. But I think he might come back again out of blue like before. What should I do now? What is he going to do now? What’s in his mind? I know he loves me alot but he’s not ready for any commitment and responsibilities. What will he do now? Is he over me totally? Will he again come back? He is going back tonight (present day)
Thank you in advance for replying me

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 9:27 pm

Hi Simran,

In short, he still has feelings for you, he misses you but he’s tired of the fights. So, that means being friends with you he still gets to have the good stuff without being committed to the fights anymore.

Simran

September 6, 2017 at 5:02 pm

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for four years and he was the best boyfriend till then. After the forth year things started falling apart and we started fighting and breaking up and the on off game continued till he has to move to another city. He then said he doesn’t want to continue the relationship because now that he’s in another city he has to live peacefully without any responsibilities and commitment. He said that he’s tired of our relationship and the countless fights and arguments and now he wants to stay away from all this but he never stopped loving me. I was not accepting this so I tried to call/text him for like two months. He used to ignore me and sometimes he blocked me. He at that time started talking to another girl (as a friend) and he told me to move on too. I begged him not to do so but he said that he can’t stop talking to her. Hearing this I cut all the contacts with him and I was actually doing fine but then I got to know that he’s been keeping all my information. A guy was stalking me and disturbing me so he (my ex) kinda fought with him saying to stay away from me and not to disturb/oppress me in any way because he loves me and he would cut anyone who oppresses me. There was also a girl who got into a fight with me started abusing me and all, so my ex got to know about that then he also took her class and threatened her not to say even a single bad word to me otherwise she will be in great problem and she will face his wrath. He told all his friends, my friends that he still loves me alot but he’s not just ready for any commitment. After few days out of blue he called me saying that the another girl he was talking to was a bitch and that he’s sorry for everything he said and that he may work things out with me if I don’t fight again and break up again or make any drama. I accepted him and we started talking again (we were in a long distance relationship at this time) and he was doing great with me for few days but soon he got very busy with his life and he only called me at midnight for talking. I started getting angry and we started fighting over phone. After all this he said you’ll not change your behavior and again you’re making a scene and doing all the drama by fighting over nothing and he said he don’t want to continue the relationship. He also said its not just about me but he’s done with relationships and he don’t want to come into any relationship with any girl and that he wants to make his career. So he left me that night calling it quit forever saying not to contact him again. I begged him to stay but he didn’t so I also let him go. (Present day) he is in my city for one day, he contacted me in the morning saying he wants to meet me to end things on a good note and that he needs to talk about somethings like a friend. I first ignored him but then I asked me directly that if you want to mend up things on a serious note and want to patch up with me then we can meet and we can clear things out between us and we make new strategy to work it out then only I can meet you. If NOT then there’s no need to hang out and we can never talk to each other. He said that he doesn’t want to get back together but he still loves me but he wants to make his career first and I might be a barrier of that so he just wants to meet up and nothing else. I didn’t replied him back and in my heart I’ve let him go again. But I think he might come back again out of blue like before. What should I do now? What is he going to do now? What’s in his mind? I know he loves me alot but he’s not ready for any commitment and responsibilities. What will he do now? Is he over me totally? Will he again come back? He is going back tonight (present day).
Thanks in advance for replying me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 9:27 pm

Hi Simran,

In short, he still has feelings for you, he misses you but he’s tired of the fights. So, that means being friends with you he still gets to have the good stuff without being committed to the fights anymore.

Antoinette Barragan

August 27, 2017 at 10:59 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. I been reading a lot and I am in the no contact rule. He says he hates me and now he called me to pick up my stuff. The problem is he just mentioned the plans we have in two weeks for my birthday. He is back and forth. I don’t understand him anymore. I told him to take another friend and I’m not in his life anymore then he made an excuse his family expecting me there. What should I do he is starting to hate me more and more.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2017 at 6:58 pm

HI Antoinette,

he broke up with you because he hates you? He doesn’t expect you to react that way, so anger at this point is his way of control and frustration because he doesn’t expect you not to chase.

Jillian

August 23, 2017 at 3:34 pm

Hi Chris and team,

My ex boyfriend fully broke up with me on July 17th, 2017 after asking for a break on June 26th, 2017. Both times I respected his choice and gave him the space he asked for, I did not call, text or beg for him to reconsider his decision. The last time I had saw him was July 28th, 2017 to give him his things back – here I did cry and I asked him to explain his reasoning which was largely, “my feelings have changed and I want to be alone. I don’t want to be with anyone. I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore.” I immediately went into no contact – 30 days would be August 28th, 2017. This morning I received the following text message from him, “Good Morning! I hope this text finds you alive and well. I hope you are enjoying the new job and just know that I think about you daily. I hope we can get together someday soon and go to lunch or something. I do miss you. Have a good day.” Looking for your expertise here on what his motives may be and what my next steps should be.

Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 24, 2017 at 10:47 pm

Hi Jillian,

how active were you in improving yourself and in posting in the last weeks?

Grace

August 20, 2017 at 11:22 pm

Hello,
My ex boyfriend and I broke up almost three months ago. We dated for a little over four months and were about to get engaged a few weeks before he broke up with me and were looking at rent houses together too. We had even looked at rings and were working with a jeweler to have one custom made. He had asked my dad to marry me and had already planned the proposal and told our best friends and family about it. He was like a father to my two daughters and loved us three very much. Everyone could tell. We were completely in love with one another. However, we fought over small things pretty often, but always resolved things pretty quickly. He did feel that I was capable of so much more and was slacking in life and in our relationship. He went above and beyond for our little family and didn’t think that I was doing the same. When we were dating, I left my job because of not getting good hours and by our breakup, I still hadn’t found a job.. even though I had been searching for a while. My ex had a great job, but felt like we needed two incomes in order to get where we wanted to be in life and be able to save, as well. I think he had finally had enough and was afraid that I would get better for a while and then just go back to how I was. The day before Memorial Day, he told me that we needed to take a break for a while. I started crying, as did my daughters. He felt very bad and told my daughters that we weren’t breaking up and that he still loved me and them very much. He asked if he could call me that night and if I could come over the next morning for breakfast and if we could please talk. I agreed. That night I got a text from him saying that his best friend was over and they were watching a movie together and wouldn’t be able to call that night and that our group of friends were hanging out tomorrow for Memorial Day and that we should probably just hang out as a group and not have breakfast together. I just figured that his best friend (our mutual friend) had talked with him and thought we needed time apart. The next day at our group get together, he didn’t talk to me at all.. or even acknowledge that I was there. We acted like strangers. Our group spent the entire day together and by the end of the day, I was very hurt and right before he left I told him that we needed to talk. We both had tears in our eyes the whole conversation. He said that we just needed time apart and that he would be gone for a few days for work and when he came back we could work on our relationship. I asked why he didn’t talk to me the whole day and he said he didn’t know what to say…that it killed him just looking at me. He said that he was very hurt and all he wanted to do was hug me and tell me that everything was going to be alright, but that he can’t do that because then things will just go back to the way it was and things really need to change. We hugged for a long time after that and then went our separate ways. We talked the next day before he left on his work trip and I texted long messages pouring my heart out (which now I know was the wrong thing to do). He didn’t really respond to those messages, so I tried to get a reaction out of him because I thought if I acted like I didn’t care about us breaking up, he would want to get back together. Wrong! I wrote him a text saying thank you for thinking of this break and that it would be good to see if we’re even compatible or not. Very immature, I know. He texted back saying that he was going to change his relationship status to single on fb and his profile picture to one of him and his friend and not of me and him, so more or less stating that we were broken up. So I went NC for the few days he was gone. When he got back into town, he immediately texted me and asked how me and my daughters were doing and we started to text and Snapchat back and forth. However, I found out he renewed his apt lease for another year and it brought all the pain forward…since we had been looking at rent houses to live in together before we broke up. The pain was unbearable and I couldn’t get over the fact that he more or less just dumped me and my young daughters. I would write him things out of hurt and anger, but then apologize for it later. I couldn’t get over the pain and heartbreak I was feeling. He started to get frustrated and every time we would see each other, we just wouldn’t say a word to one another. He asked if we could please just stay friends and I said that I just couldn’t do that because of the hurt it would cause me. He thought that was immature. I went over to his apt and got all of my things and broke down crying and had a long conversation telling him that you just don’t give up on a relationship, especially with someone you’re wanting to marry and we hugged for a long time as I cried on his shoulder. He said that I could keep his apt key and that he will always answer my phone calls and texts and will never just ignore me as he did to some of his past girlfriends after they broke up. That in a few months or a year, we might get back together again and if we fell in love once, we sure could again. We went a while without talking and my best friend (another of our mutual friends) and him texted back and forth about us. He said that I took the breakup a lot harder than he did (which I believe was a lie) and he just didn’t want to talk about the relationship with me anymore. That he didn’t want to get back together and two years down the line, I start slacking again and we have trouble. He told her that the woman he marries he wants to be with for the rest of his life and never wants to get a divorce, so the problems we were having right before he proposed worried him and he didn’t feel like we needed to go into an engagement with those issues. I went NC again until I went over to his apt after having a really good job interview. He was definitely surprised to see me, but we hung out for a few hours and talked about things (not pertaining to the relationship). It was a very comfortable..not awkward at all hang out. When I went to leave, he came over and gave me a hug.. very unexpected. A few days later, I found out a friend of ours was saying bad things about me and he was the only one I wanted to talk to about it. He immediately answered the phone when I called and talked me through it all and was very sweet about it. Came to find out that he had said some negative things about me to this friend of ours. It killed me inside and I immediately confronted him about it through text. The next day our two families were leaving to go on a week long cruise together. It was pre-planned and was supposed to be so our families could get to know one another better before we get married, as well as an engagement celebration. He stayed in the same room as my girls and me and I will admit, it was a bit awkward. Pretty much the whole cruise we didn’t talk. But when we did, it was great! He would get really excited about things he and his family saw on their excursions and come back and talk to me about it and show pictures and videos. He would come immediately to me and show off any money he won at the casino. And even went with my family and me on one of our excursions…spending the whole day with us. Our families got along great and ate with one another at most meals. He was great with my daughters and still acted like a father to them…carrying them, playing with them, helping them in any way, etc. His parents even bought the girls souvenirs. The cruise ended on July 9th and we’ve seen each other off and on since then. Each time, it is awkward and we don’t say much to each other and he just seems really upset/mad at me…I have no clue why? He went on another trip for work and suddenly deleted my pictures (except for two) off of his social media and asked me for the key to his apt back (the one he said that he wanted me to keep). I have been just enjoying life and posting happy pictures and videos on all of my social media…which he still follows. I have unfriended him on Facebook, but he still views and follows me on Snapchat and Instagram and his family still “likes” and comments on almost everything I post. He is now hanging out with the friend of ours that was bad mouthing me, most likely because some of our group lives in different cities or has moved to different states recently… or may be out of town for work. It still hurts though.. especially since they may be talking badly about me. I have been bettering myself and am in the process of being hired for a new job and hopefully will be getting an apt of my own very soon. I came to the realization that past relationships that involved abuse and cheating probably affected my relationship with my ex and have improved myself in so many ways and have put God, my children, our future, and my career as my top priorities. However, the one thing missing is my ex. My daughters (7 & 8) still talk about him all the time and miss him so much. He truly was the love of my life and pushed me to be better in so many ways. He is an amazing man and was a wonderful boyfriend and incredible step-father. The pain of him not being in our lives kills me every day. He was SO close with my family and couldn’t wait to marry me and officially call us a family. Gosh, he loved me and my girls so much.. I have never been loved that fully and that much. It truly feels like I’ve lost the love of my life and my soul mate and I so desperately want him back and to marry him one day. I have not been able to go an entire month with NC, so need to do that, but is there anything else I can do? Why is he so angry with me? Should I just go ghost and not post anything else on social media and make him wonder what I’m doing? I feel like I’ve made some very big mistakes after our breakup and want to stay on the right path now. I’m sorry this is so long! Thank you in advance for your reply!

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2017 at 9:23 pm

Hi Grace,

you shoud be active in posting because that’s your indirect way of showing that you have your own life and that you’re improving. A

susi

August 20, 2017 at 5:46 pm

My ex and I were together for 2 years. He was having many family issues to deal with towards the end and he ghosted me one day. Our last conversation was by phone and he got a call while we were talking. He said he’d call me right back, but he never did. I am assuming that he received bad news about his then terminally ill sister. He also had another sister who passed a year earlier, and he lost his mom when he was in his 20s. His sister did pass away a month later, and his dad became ill around that time, too. I never confronted him. I figured I’d give him the space he needed. I did no contact with the exception of bday and christmas cards to him and his brother yearly. That was 6 years ago.

He completely avoided me during that time. No waves when we met on the street in our cars. Nothing. Early on, before he asked me out for the first time, he used to drive by my place quite a lot. Now, he has started doing that again. He actually started this a few months ago, but he goes by at least twice a day lately. He is friendly again and waves to me if I am out when he goes by. My street is a side street that no one drives on unless they live in the area, so I am pretty sure he isnt just out for a leisurely drive twice a day. I would really love to hear what you think is happening. I would like to think he is becoming interested again, but i am not getting my hopes up too much. He is very shy. I dont think he will call me. Thanks very much for reading this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2017 at 9:17 pm

if he’s been doing that for months and you’re sure it’s because of you, then you have to ask him in a kind way of why he’s doing that.

VA

August 17, 2017 at 4:50 pm

Hi,
.
My boyfriend and i broke up after 8 months of dating. broke up a week back we spend about two months together and then two months apart because of university. we were having a few fights after completing about 5 months of our relationship. We were fighting because he stopped caring for me and giving me attention, he didn’t text me much and even when he said things like i will call u or i love u they felt empty. he would do things like block me on faenook if i told him to let me know when he got back, then he would fight with me over me asking for his Facebook password and was really mean for small things. he tried breaking up with me and told me he doesnt love me. anyway we got back and then later in a fight he told me that i baited him back into the relationship. things got ok i came back for the holidays, after 14 days of being part i saw him filing with the girl he has never met before and would be sharing a house with he would say things like I’m going to go to uni to see my friends and not mention me (where as in reality he was coming to see me) and we took a holiday together that girl mentioned that city and he said something like oh yeah i went there over the summer, its nice isnt it? he didn’t mention me and i felt like he was hiding me, when i confronted him he said he didn’t mean anything and was just trying to make friends and that he was sorry and loved me. the next day i checked his message to see if he replied to her and he released i checked his messages, so he replied to her and waited for me to see it and call him. when i called him he got angry at me and said he doent care how i feel and he will talk to whoever he likes and then hung up, he called again in a while to tell me he wants to end things and doesnt see a future with me. i initially begged him to get back for a day or so then got really angry and said some things to him (that may have hurt his male ego) what do i do? will things work out or not? i did do a lot for him and cared a lot too. I’ve blocked him off Facebook and my whatsaap. what do i now?

VA

August 19, 2017 at 6:49 am

Hi its VA again,

Thank you for your reply. When we broke up i said a lot of personal things to him and he sai he is much happier now that we are not together. I will unblock him and do the NC for 30 days, but will he come back to me? will he ever iniciate conversation ? he has graduated from university and he is going to another university away from me so we wont seeing each other unless we are back together and try and see each other. I don’t want to contact him because i have already begged him to come back to me and he’s told me he’s moving on.

please help me !
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 19, 2017 at 9:30 pm

We can’t guarantee that.. You have to set a time limit on until when you would wait for him to initiate before moving on
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 18, 2017 at 5:29 pm

HI Va,

unblock him and start the no contact rule.. do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting.

Aria

August 4, 2017 at 11:55 am

Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend 3months ago because he lacks communication with me because of his job, we are in long distance relationship but we see every weekend once.We been together for 6months but we are friends before.That time i broke up with him, i block him on social media and i did not text him more often. At the first month of the breakup he keeps texting me everyday explaining how sorry he was because of his work that i didn’t give him a chance to explain his side. So, that one week of him texting me, i reply and explain too that he should compromise somehow to make our relationship work..by the way he was in the moment wherein he had a promotion so he wants me to be ok with the im busy so i’ll contact you when i’m not! kinda thing?which i disagree because of the long distance relationship thing? And also at that time i had a problem and when I asked for his advice or just sympathy i feel like he doesn’t care at all!!. So after one week of him explaining to me, i stop replying because it hurts already i feel like he doesn’t want to put much effort and sympathy to our relationship to make it work. I block his number for 30 days and then after that i unblock it together with the social media. And then i got a call from him i answer it and he’s mad at me and blaming me for everything in the relationship, he said a lot of rude things but i keep telling him that he deserve all of that for not communicating well. I want to be clear that after that one week of replying to his text I did not text him or call him again, but i answer his calls but not often i think for the 3months of breakup he only calls me 3times,which also makes me feel bad and confused? Because i feel like he doesn’t pursue me well and i think he also do the NC rule on me because he only contact me for once in a month or twice and also he doesn’t text me at all even at this moment! The last call I received from him was 2 weeks ago that time I thought he’s changed? But i was wrong he told me that he was sorry again for the lack of communication and i must understand his situation,he even told me that he somehow managed to passed by our house but too scared to talk to me because he knows that I’m still mad at him, and that he misses me already and also he told me that “do you still somehow think of me”?..we talked for like 1 hour i keep telling him that i’m still mad at him all i want is for him to explain and have an heart to heart talk about our problem personally!! But he doesn’t do! And also,that morning after that call i thought that he will text me regularly to pursue me because somehow he admits it was his fault but he didn’t!! I waited and nothing! So i block him again on social media and text him that we should really breakup for good! And i even told him that he should delete my number and I’m moving on already, and of course no reply from him.But after a week i got a text from him again saying “block again? Thank you” which confused me?if he wants me? how come he doesn’t pursue me well? I did not reply to his text though and even at this moment I never heard from him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2017 at 8:35 am

Hi Aria,

send a clean slate text.. thank him for everything but you’re moving on.. and then do the no contact rule properly.. no initiating, replying, no answering calls.. be active improving yourself and in posting and do at least 45 days of nc.. don’t block him.

Kiko

July 28, 2017 at 10:08 am

So my boyfriend and I dated for about 5 months, had a miscarriage and then broke up. I initiated NC only for 30days, and then decided to meet him to get some of my stuff. We met and spoke, and cried, and had sex, only for him to tell me he’s dating someone, and they’ve been dating for 2 weeks.

I immediately told him to break up with her #hides, but we met again, and i told him not to break up with her. He then suggested that we “chat casually” and i said i couldn’t because it was too soon and we’d been though too much… until i realised i hadn’t returned his clothes. I very casually asked him for an address to send his stuff back, and he said “let me get back to you on that one”….

i dont know what to do….

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 5:56 am

Hi KIko,

restart nc and check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)

Lou

July 24, 2017 at 5:47 am

It’s a bit long, but here goes…
My ex and I broke up the second time about one month ago. We have been dating on/off for four years (part of the time as long distance since he moved to a different country). Last year we decided to give it a real try living together and everything. I moved to the country he is staying, but shortly things started going wrong. I felt lonely and couldn’t get a job and got to dependent on him while feeling like I was losin myself in the situation. My x worked many hours and I started doubting the moving in together and the relationship. I went home for a couple of months and then back because we missed each other but things didn’t change. We had some stupid arguments through Spring about the future and i threatened to leave a few times. But didn’t. Then eventually he told me that this wouldn’t work anymore and that we had to stop. First I felt devastated but I could see that things couldn’t go on. The same day I left for home I was offered a job and an opportunity to stay. After I got home and had a few days to think I decided to take the job and at the same time I decided to stop all contact to my x (not knowing about the no contact rule). After one week my x texted me asking how I was. I replied “ok under the circumstances and that I had been offered a job” he replied the same and congratulated me and that he was fine with the decision to split.
Then one week later he send me a video from KLM with the message “I assume we are not going on the Holliday together as planed but thought you would like this video”. Stupidly I replied that we could still go together (naive) but he never replied on that.(ghosting)
Then I started the NC rule and after one and a half week he contacted me again wether I wanted the stuff I had left at his apartment. He had just bought a new car so he could move it to the storage we shared.
I left almost all my stuff there since I took a plane home so I needed to get it eventually. He also asked if I was in town, which I was at that moment because I had to find a new apartment and sign my work contracts. I replied and he asked if I wanted to meet for a coffee.
I felt confident knowing that I was on my way creating a new life for myself with a new job and apartment etc. So I replied yes.
We met and talked about my new job and how he was doing with his job. No relationship talk, besides from him telling me that one of his friends just convinced him to go on Tinder. He also asked if I was on tinder but I replied that I’d rather meet my next boyfriend in real life.
I had to go meet my new boss so it was only a brief meeting.
Then later the same day he wrote me again, asking if I wanted to see the new car he had just bought. I replied yes and we took a short drive and had a quick drink on a hillside. Then he drove me back and we departed. The next evening he wrote me again saying how glad he was to see me and that he hoped we could spend more time together without things getting complicated.
I didn’t reply
The thing is, I don’t want to be just friends or his doormat again (I ended up being that the first time we broke up). So right now I don’t know what to reply or if I should reply at all. Should I instead keep the NC rule for a bit longer or should I write him that I don’t think that’s a good idea to spend time together at the moment (or at all under the circumstances). I would really like to get back together, and still have a lot of feelings for him. but the way things are right now I know he is to afraid of committing because he is afraid I’ll let get to dependent on him and feel bad about myself and the relationship again and eventually start doubting. At the same time I know things are different now because I’m in charge of what is going on in my life and I know what I did wrong and how to prevent that from happening again. I just don’t know what to do now and I certainly don’t want to be hurt by him because he leads me on.
//Lou

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 4:11 pm

Hi Lou,

send that message and then restart nc and do at least 30 days.

Camila

July 18, 2017 at 12:39 am

My ex broke up with me over text over a huge argument we had a month ago. We known each other for a year and had been only dating three months. The last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago, but he was adamant about not wanting to get back together. So I employed NC since then because eventhough I was hurt, I truly do care for him and want him back. He still has me on fb, twitter, and always watches my Snachat stories, but does not reach out to me. His mom however reached out to me over text to check how I was doing and to say how sorry she was about the way things ended. They’re both really close. I have not spoken to him directly and try to keep myself as distant as possible. He ocasionally post sad love songs and recently has been posting resentful subtweets about me. He was fine in the beginning, being indifferent, going out parties, hanging out with his friends, and now he’s so hurt but still won’t contact me. Is he trying to move on or could he possibly want me back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 9:39 pm

HI Camila,

restart the count of nc. Because nc is more for you to heal and improve and be active in posting.. Not just to stop talking to him and to wait for him to initiate.. if he’s sad, that means he misses you.

charlotte

July 6, 2017 at 9:29 pm

my ex and i broke up 2 months ago. after the last time i saw him didn’t end well (beginning of june), i decided to do 30 days of NC. NC would have been up on the 10th, but our mutual friends had a pool party for fourth of july and we both went. things were a bit awkward at first, but we were friendly and cordial. with everyone leaving the party, it was just me, him, and a friend of ours. he still wanted to go out, while our friend wanted to go home. my ex asked me if i wanted to go out with him and we could invite my parents (they got along very well when we were dating). i said sure, and my parents met us at a bar close by. we started out pretty friendly but the more we drank the more flirtatious he got. putting his arm around me, calling me his girl in front of my parents… he was even telling my parents they need to meet his mom since they never met. he was even referencing the future and making plans… because he had work the next day and we had a lot to drink, he and i went home (we live close to one another). fireworks were starting so he wanted to watch them together. he put his arms around me and was being very sweet and affectionate, and then he kissed me. he kept kissing me and just holding me close telling me how much fun he had with me. when i was leaving, he ran after me and kissed me again, saying he just wanted to kiss me one more time. this happened on the fourth, and today is the 6th. i havent heard from him. what do i do next? i very much want this to work out and i do see us ending up together one day.

Charlotte

July 10, 2017 at 3:54 am

He hasn’t texted. I went out with our mutual friend today and we invited him to drink with us and he texted me back saying “okay thanks, I’ll pass this Time though.” I didn’t respond. I wasn’t overly flirtatious inviting him either. I just said “hey we’re grabbing a beer, did you want to join us? Your welcome to if you’d like.” I know for a fact he’s not dating anyone or even taking to anyone. He watches all my snaps and likes all my instagram posts. Im really good friends with his sister and she said that hE told his uncle and aunt that he sees us getting back togethrrr and getting married someday… but I hear nothing from him! I’m just at a loss of what to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2017 at 9:50 am

Rest from initiating maybe a week or two and continue being active in your life and in posting
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 3:53 pm

has he texted now? Just go back to slowly building rapport again.

Rachel

July 5, 2017 at 5:15 am

My ex and I broke up three weeks ago because he couldn’t handle how miserable his ex was making him and keeping his children away from him since he was in a new relationship. His ex has been with someone since they divorced. Every other day since he break up he has reached out in some way. Last week he told me that he had been thinking about me a lot but that he just couldn’t give me 100%. I told he he needed to stop playing games with me then. I was still hurt. He reached out a few more times after that. Then I ignored him and a week went by. I made the mistake of reaching out to him and telling him how I felt. He responded that not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of me but that it boiled down to him making the hard decision of letting me go because he couldn’t handle how miserable his ex was making him. He then asked how things were and said it was good to hear from me. I waited a few hours and responded. He didn’t text me back. The longest we have gone is a week without talking. I want him back but I don’t know what to do. Is it too late to do no contact and let him see what life is like without me? What should I do? Will it even matter? No contact is so scary because I feel that he may forget about me and move on.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:22 pm

Hi Rachel
Check this one:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule

JL

June 28, 2017 at 10:31 am

My ex and I broke up a little over a week ago due to us fighting and dealing with stress of over working (we both work 60 hours a week) I saw him once after that he came over to get some of his things from my house but he actually never got his things. We both said we loved each other still but he wanted time and space to think about getting back together and I haven’t reached out to him since, respecting his wishes of space to think about things. However my close friend told me my ex has been asking him about me and wanting to know what I’m up too etc. should I continue with NC and respond when he reaches out to me? (If he does) and why is he asking about me to my friend? Doesn’t make sense. Thanks…

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 10:45 am

Continue nc.. It’s normal that he misses you.. If he reaches out, stick to it

Sarah

June 25, 2017 at 4:52 am

I haven’t talked to my ex in about 3 months a few weeks ago he contacts me cus he’s randomly near my job. I ignored him I’m still hurt plus I didn’t want an emotional reunion at my job then the next week he tells me he’s near my job again and can’t help but miss me. I still ignore him. Then the next week he hits me up for friend with benefits I reply no and told him it would be harder for me to have a relationship like that then just not having him in my life at all. He replays how he cherishes all our memories and how he’s always goin to wonder if i was the woman he needed… that was a week and a half ago. Do you think he’ll contact me again. I miss him a lot but he used me for sex when I was trying to work things out and then just broke up with me again out of no where… I cant bring myself to initiate contact firsr either. I dont want to. I begged for him to work on our relationship when we first broke up months ago. I feel like he knows what i want and if i contact him it gives him another excuse for him to tell me he doesnt know what he wants. If he doesnt initiate a reconciliation im tryn to comvince myself its for the best and ill just move on but i dtill miss him. Do you think he’ll contact me again? :/

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 5:50 am

He probbaly will but if it’s just for sex, it would be better to move on

Ify

June 17, 2017 at 7:54 pm

So my ex and i broke up around this time last year because according to him, he was not ready for a relationship. After the break up, we were still in touch and in each others lives until September when we last spoke. Months passed and during this time i finally began moving on. In April, he contacted me via Twitter saying he wanted to check up on me. I ended the conversation quickly because i wasn’t entirely comfortable speaking to him. Soon afterwards his friends started contacting me one after the other but i did the same. A few days ago i opened my Instagram page for the first time in a while and i see a recent follow request from him so i accept it and we start talking.Now, he texts and calls me frequently and always mentions how he’s changed, talking about how he’ll be there for me if i need him and yesterday he asked if we can hang out. i told him we can and he kept talking about how excited he is that we’re going to see . Right now, I am quite confused i do not know what this all means. Is he trying to get back together with me? or is just playing games and trying to get sex?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 19, 2017 at 7:06 pm

don’t jump to conclusions but don’t be naive too.. just be friendly to him.. you have to let more time pass to see what he’s further actions will be too

Emma

June 13, 2017 at 11:09 pm

So my situation is a little long and confusing, in this case it uses instances of the no contact rule which backfires lol

This guy( lets called him dave) and I have never officially been together as couple. Dave took my virginity 5 years ago, I fell in love with him but he did not even like me and he was a dick to me. At that point I stopped calling him, blocked him, erased him on social media.

3 years flew by, I had dated and had another boyfriend during this period. During those 3 years Dave would call me on unknown numbers, text me from different phones even if I block them he would get/ use another phone. He would do anything to try and ‘talk’ to me . I put quotations because I felt like he was only holding on to me because I only had sex when he took my virginity.( It was almost like he missed out on the fun part so he wanted more)- the no contact rule worked satisfyingly at this point.

By 2015, I was dating again after breaking up with the boyfriend I had during 1 of those 3 years. Dave was still, texting me from different phones, there would be nothing much to the texts, just maybe my name or, ‘how are you?’ to which he would get no reply. ( friends by this point started to think I did something to him that made him think about me so much). I decided after that long time, with a tinge of resentment toward him from what happened 3 years prior, to start seeing him again (BIG MISTAKE). It wasn’t really a relationship I was using him for my own pleasure. In my head i was thinking that i would be the one gaining, i was using him this time he was not using me. I was dating other guys while this was going on, thinking nothing of it.

About 4 months into this mess, I met my current boyfriend who is everything I want in a guy. After about a month of speaking, I say to Dave ‘I no longer want to see you i’ve found someone else’ . Everything after that was great ( apart for Daves attempt to say that he is a better person to which he was no match to my current boyfriend). I was talking to my current boyfriend for 6 months before we did anything, everything with him was beautiful and special. I thought the dave days were over but i was wrong. Dave started doing what he did before, however this time I had no choice but to use the no contact rule in fear it might cause jealousy within my current relationship (Dave was spoken about between us however the frequency of the texts and calls caused some arguments).

It is now 2017 and I have been caught of guard a few times with him, i now receive random calls with no caller ID, I feel like the no contact rule would have been great if i wanted him back. But i don’t, i do not want to know him, a lot of things have changed over the years . What else can i do, when will he stop contacted me. Its now a laughable subject among my friends, they really think I’ve done something to him.

I decided to speak to him over the phone just to see what he wants, Why he needs to speak to me, the only reason he gave is to see ‘how i am’. I feel like he’ll be doing this for years. what do i do! sorry for the length of this post, thanks

Sage

June 27, 2017 at 3:43 am

I’m wondering myself about me and my bf/ex. We broke up because according to his schedule is moving in together had to wait. It’s been 7 months of waiting, with a lame excuse.
After a day he changed his FB status to single, and later on in the night, I broke the NC rule and called him.
He sounded great, said he was somewhat over me, and somewhat still hurt. He sounded borh happy to hear me and also mad/cold.
Now I’m confused as to if it’s salvageable, or should I move on, since he is standing his ground.
He did tell me in two days he would come do my lawn. Is there hope?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 5:38 pm

Try to finish at least 30 days first. Start a nee routine during nc, maintain that routine after nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2017 at 4:55 pm

just dont respond ever.. if he becomes violent or threatening, or stalking you,call the police..

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