18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,519 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Alexander Brown

December 30, 2017 at 8:37 pm

Hey guys,

Broke up with my ex 3months ago while suffering with depression and thinking I had fallen in love with my best friend.
He begged for me back for the first month and I wasn’t ready, now I am. Our first meet he said the relationship was dead, had a two week NC met and explained I had same feelings he said it’d take time. I had an argument and he was drunk said he was angry and wanted me to give up hope as he couldn’t see the further and wasn’t coming back. He even argrily asked his mum how to do an injunction. Is there a way I could try get him back or is it too late. His whole family are still in touch with me and still upset. He isn’t a social flower but is going out most nights and drinking a fair amount they tell me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:53 pm

Hi Alexander,

Restart nc, and do at least 30 days and after that slowly rebuild rapport.

Abby

December 28, 2017 at 7:15 am

My ex boyfriend wants to help me pay for rent since he left me in the middle of our lease. I didn’t answer his message since I just started nc two weeks ago. But idk if I should and what I should say. I just got a new job and a part of me thinks I should at least say I’m not going to ask for your help unless I need it and I’m okay for now. But the other part says don’t talk to him at all. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Hi Abby,

no need to answer it because it looks like he’s just trying to see if you are going to reply.

Debra Bere

December 24, 2017 at 9:42 pm

After 20 months together my ex boyfriend suddenly wanted space. A week later he broke up with me over the phone and gave vague reasons. He started hanging with some single friends and went on Tinder and Bumble. Btw we are bot divorced in our 50’s. Once I found this out I asked for my belongings back and decided to also date. I met a nice guy who is my friend. My ex spoke to me after a few weeks of NC but never said he wanted us to get back together. I told him I did and before I get involved with someone new I wanted to know if it’s totally over and why he broke up with me in the first place. He told me he hasn’t gone on any dates and the on-line dating is hard. I told him we got lucky because that’s how we met. We had an amazing relationship in all aspects and we were together all the time. I don’t think he was honest with me about having a future together though. He’s ex wife cheated on him and he gets scared when things get serious. We were suppose to talk last week about why he broke up with me but I posted a photo on Facebook of me on a snowmobile when he knew I was at a guys cottage. He went crazy, emailed me that he’s upset,pissed and angry and cancelled our talk, said he won’t communicate with me. Deleted me from Facebook, deleted some of our pics not all though and dumped my belongings in my garage and told me he’s done and good luck with my new guy. I reminded him that he broke up with me and went on line to date. I told him sorry about the pic and that we were only friends and that I’m trying to keep busy. I told him I want to get back together and my heart belongs to him He then emailed me that he won’t meet me and that the opportunity has now passed and we both need to move on. But he’s be happy to meet me somewhere and hope I feel the same way. I told him that no I won’t be happy to bump into him until we have a proper conversation and that my door is open. I am so upset with myself for posting that pic, maybe we would of gotten back together, although he never said we would. He was flirting with me over the phone prior but I told him I won’t go there. Anyhow, I’m now devastated because I want him back. It’s been a week and I’m pretty sure I won’t hear from him because he thinks I have a new man. Should I contact him to talk? Was thinking of knocking on his door? What to do? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 10:05 pm

Hi Debra,

He broke up with you..it’s not wrong to date after that. Don’t go to his place, that would be chasing..restart the nc rule

Jasmin

December 23, 2017 at 2:18 am

After almost a year I felt something was wrong. I tried to give him space but eventually asked if he would like to take a break. He told me things aren’t going well and he would like to break up. I didn’t take it too well and texted him for two days. After seeing him sad at work I tried to speak with him saying I’m also sad. He was mean and angry, So I stopped contacting him for a few weeks. I apologized again and he said my apologies are insulting (we both have our baggage). I have no idea why he is mad. I said that it was his decision to break up and I get it. If he would like to change his mind, I’ll be happy to talk. However, as long as that’s his decision, I wish him only the best and would like him to wish me the same. He ignored me. Why can’t he just say ‘have a good life. I want you to be happy’

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 5:24 pm

Hi Jasmin,

Looks like he thinks you’re chasing him and it’s annoying him…Check this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Beth

December 20, 2017 at 5:53 pm

My ex and I broke up a day before our one year anniversary. He said that I didn’t change, he did and basically said that he gets bored/looses interest in relationships after a year. (Note: he said this happened with his ex-wife who cheated and his ex who wouldn’t work on things so he supposedly hates them both.) He moved into my apartment in November and we broke up about 5 weeks later. As little as two weeks before, we talked about moving into our own apartment and pets.

To be clear, I am the one who realized something was wrong and that he wasn’t being honest when I asked him if something was wrong. Honestly, the night before I had spoken to him about seeing a therapist around my anxieties in life and said that I thought it would help with us in some way because he had always told me that if something was wrong he would tell me and he agreed that night. The next day I asked again for one last time and he told me.

Since then, he moved out and I put this stuff out in the living room. He ended up texting me about needing more time to move out so he could deal with “stuff” and was talking about his new work schedule of five days a week (at night to be clear). When he went to move more stuff, I was at work and I got a texts that basically complained about how I organized things and said that it would have been better if I left everything where it was rather than putting stuff into boxes which he claimed were all to full which was another issue. I have been pretty gracious throughout this thing, not yelling and speaking calmly saying I would work on things if he wanted to but he said he didn’t. I let him stay for a night after the break up and have been pretty calm for the most part. Why does he continue to be rude or seem hostile? I know moving is tough but still.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 10:20 pm

Hi Beth,

It’s his way of maintaining power..

Andrea

December 14, 2017 at 8:37 pm

I’ve been on and off with a guy for over 3 years and it ended quite badly recently but he’s decided he wants to be friends. He’s making the effort to apologise for treating me badly and seems to understand why it was hurtful. He’s never made this kind of effort before or bothered to listen to me. I can see that he still likes me and wants to spend time with me often but he doesn’t seem to realise it himself and says it’s easier to find someone else. How can I tell if he likes me on not cause it sounds like he does from speaking to him but his immaturity is getting in the way.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 5:04 pm

Hi Andrea,

check this one
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Girl

December 12, 2017 at 5:38 pm

Hi
Me and my ex were in a relationship for over a year we met in college everything was great and he used to talk about how he wants to some day marry me then towards the end we both moved to different cities because of our jobs we were in long distance for about 4 months then after like 3 months he moved back to his hometown and then after a couple of weeks he started talking to me less and hardly replyed to my msgs when i asked he said he was busy we talked about it and he said we will work things out and try and give more time to me and suddenly he broke up with me over a text i tried talking to him i even said some things and even begged him but nothing he kinda went silent on me then he blocked me its been 5 months since we brokeup and i haved tried to contact him in a month maybe im still blocked but he hasn’t reached out either its been a month since we last talked which of course I tried to contact him( it wasn’t a friendly talk)
I don’t really know what to think anymore

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 2:05 pm

Hi Girl,

How much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Mary

December 10, 2017 at 12:47 pm

Hi

I’ve been in an unhappy marriage for a long time . But never found the courage to leave . Im 41 early this year I fell in love with a man who is 50. It was real love we cared a lot for each other and passion was mind blowing . He was very jealous of me and was always arguing that that I want to have fun in life . I wanted to leave my broken marriage but he would not give me time to do so. I wanted time to get to know him . After six months of knowing each other he told me he would back off so that I can change my life , I was very stressed with work and life and was getting really sick physically. We also work together including my husband . Instead he left me and blamed me that I did not leave my marriage …. I told him I am ready to leave and we can be together but he did not want to , saying again that I want to have fun not be with him . He was a very controlling person and very insecure . I tried everything to make him feel wanted and loved . He tried to keep in contact until I discovered he was seeing someone else . I cut off all contact and also removed him from facebook . Been a week now and miss him a lot . Saw him briefly last week and he was angry I did not speak to him not even a hello . If he is with someone else , why he than wants to be friends it hurts me a lot .i wish he would come back but I know deep down he would never . I feel very sad and trying my best to forget him .

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 4:47 am

Hi Mary,

If you’re going to leave your marriage, leave it because you want to whether you’re seeing somebody else or not.. check this one too:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Dee

November 22, 2017 at 12:39 am

Hi. So me and my bf dates for 9 months but we kept arguing and he got tired of it and left me. I kept calling and messaging him so we decided to stay as friends. So I went out with some friends one night and he saw me having fun and begged me to get back with him so we did. After trying it again he was super in love with me and everything was great! From one day to the next he started being distant and getting mad over small stuff. So I asked him what was wrong and said he didn’t know. He couldn’t be with me anymore. I’m confused bc he loved me so much he kept saying he wanted to marry me and the next he wants his space. After 1 day of not talking he messaged me saying saying he wanted some of his sweaters back and that he was going to pick them up but he never did. We haven’t spoken after that and I’m just so confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 3:16 am

When was that?

Asher

November 21, 2017 at 10:18 am

My ex and I broke up back in February after dating 2 years. We were very serious and had planned on marriage soon. The last few months of our relationship he began to pull away and we were in a boring routine. We never went out or had any type of romance. He just stopped dating me basically. I finally brought it up that we had grown apart and I wanted to fix it. He did not, he said he’d been trying and didn’t know what else to do so we broke up. Although we were both in shock, we never even fought much. It was very hard for both of us and we continued to say we’d alwyas love each other. We stayed in contact and hung out occasionally. Neither of us have been in a relationship since the break up. He said he wanted to maintain a friendship a few months ago because i wasn’t not reaching out like he was, it was just too hard for me but we continued to be friends. The past month or 2 he has asked to hangout multiple times a week and usually asks what my plans are if I turn him down. He doesn’t text me 24/7 but we usually talk everyday or every other day. He has not made any moves or brought up getting back together, but he is very shy. Everyone keeps telling me he’s hung up on me, but I just don’t see it. The more we’ve hung out though the more old feelings start to come back for me. Idk for him though, I just don’t have the nerve to bring it up. I just don’t understand why he would break up with me but then want to keep hanging out?? All my friends say he’s keeping by a thread, but a few months ago he said he wasn’t. We have not even kissed since we broke up and he is not tried anything at all sexual. Hes not that type of guy at all so I know it’s not that. Should I just keep hanging out with him and see if it gets brought up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2017 at 12:54 am

Hi,

You’re friendzoned. Check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

Betty Lou

November 20, 2017 at 11:32 am

My ex and I broke up several months ago after dating almost two years. We were very serious and had planned on getting married and having kids ..the whole nine yards. The last few months of our relationship we were in such a boring routine the romance was gone; he hardly ever even kissed me other than a peck good bye. He had pulled away and became distant, of course, as a girl I began to try harder. Although I was unhappy I loved him and I still do, always will. Long story short we agreed that we had grown apart and he said that he didn’t want to try anymore so we ended things. We both were hurting and admitted we’d always love each other but that it just wasn’t working and that maybe we would reconnect one day. We never stopped being friends though. Initially we did not talk much or see each other. After a couple of months he would sometimes ask to hangout but not very often and sometimes with a group of people. Since then he’s got hired by a department that works very closely with mine. We are still close, but here the past 2 months he asks to hangout every week. Now that he’s in town more he will text and sometimes ask to come over then say for me to text him the next day if I wanna hang out. I was seeing someone so I blew him off a few times, but he would say he wanted to come over and see my dog haha.He has never implied that he wants to get back together and only gives me a hug bye. Its very confusing because he talks to me quite frequently and asks to hangout often. So I have began to iniate as well. Why does he want to be such good friends and see me a few times a week but will not make a move? Everyone says we will get back together,but I just don’t think he wants too. He is always asking my plans too which makes me wonder if he wants to know if I’m seeing someone.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2017 at 12:54 am

Hi,

You’re friendzoned. Check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

K.

November 13, 2017 at 9:19 pm

Hi. My boyfriend and I broke up three weeks ago after almost three years of being together (it was me who initiated the breakup). We are studying the same subject at the uni, so we see each other almost every single day. Today was the 17th day of NC for me, and we’d had a brief conversation for the first time since we broke up. During the lecture it turned out we were supposed to sit next to each other and he greeted me (awkwardly), then joked a bit about the lecture. I did my best to adjust the NC rule to the situation and kept the conversation moderate (but friendly). However, my ex surprised me when the lecture was over, as he followed me to the entrance and asked me if he could walk me a bit to wherever I parked my car. I was really hesitant and told him he didn’t have to, but he insisted (and I mean it), so we ended up walking together and having a brief talk again. He asked me if I could bring him a certain thing that I borrowed from him some time ago, as he needed it, and then told me he would return the book I lent him because he finished reading it. We casually exchanged our opinions on the book, chatted some more, and then both of us went our separate ways (he didn’t walk me all the way to the parking lot, more like half a way). He wished me a safe trip back home (another surprise). Now I’m seriously confused.
Could it be that he is testing the waters and came up with the excuse to walk me to the parking lot to see how I would react? Or does he want us to return some things back to their respective owners because it really is over (neither the thing he needed nor the book are of extreme value, though)? Or maybe it’s nothing at all? I feel like I’m kinda overreacting by assuming that it may be a sign of him moving on, but I also didn’t expect such a situation to happen and I’m scared to think it could be a positive sign, as I dread expecting anything positive at this point.
As for what I’ve been doing during those 17 days, I’ve been doing my absolute best to become the UG (working out, looking perfect, finding new friends). He always appreciated me for my appearance, but I’ve been working extra hard to look even more attractive. However, he didn’t like how I was very reserved and had almost no acquaintances (neither did I), so I’ve started talking to other people from our MA group at the uni and managed to find some nice girls to hang out with. I’m generally doing fine, but he’s still on my mind A LOT, and when sudden situations like the one I described here happen, I freak out (in private, of course). I’m trying to stay as calm as possible, though.
Also, we actually haven’t seen each other for 2.5 weeks (lectures being cancelled, a national holiday, etc.). We met for the first time last Wednesday and he seemed rather uncomfortable, as he was used to me making the first step, but I kept my distance and carried on talking with other people, being super positive, etc.
Sooo, dear EBR team, what do you think? Is there a chance that things might be going in the right direction or am I just overanalyzing stuff?

Thanks for all your help,

K.

PS. I apologize if some parts of this message sound weird, but I’m not a native speaker of English. Hope you understand and sorry for any mistakes!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2017 at 8:33 pm

Hi K,

he’s probably testing the waters because he didn’t expect you to be indifferent in the past days..

Destiny

November 13, 2017 at 4:33 pm

Hi, my ex and I dated for almost 2 years. Everything was good until about a year into our relationship. His true colors came out when he decided it was okay to yell at and belittle me in public. After the first time it happened, I was shocked, hurt, and I ignored him for about a week. He apologized and told me he would work on himself. Yet, shortly after he did it again. This time, I cried and wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. I know a man can’t change over night, but I kept asking myself how many chances should I give him? I started to feel unhappy and I even told him how I felt. He didn’t take it too well…. instead of trying to talk it out and handle the situation, he isolated himself. We fought more and more until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I let my emotions get the best of me and eventually dumped him. I realized a few weeks later how much I loved him and missed him and how stupid our fights were. I wrote him an apologetic letter, took responsibility for my actions throughout the relationship, and asked him for a second chance. He waited a while to get back to me, but told me he didn’t want to work things out. In that moment, my heart crushed even more and couldn’t believe that he would give up so easily. The strange part is he defriended me on social media, talked about me to mutual friends (nothing bad), and still paid for the bills we had together. Do you think the time apart has made him realize the mistake he made? It’s been a couple months now since we broke up and about 1 month of no contact so far. I’m not sure if I should contact him or just let him be. He’s so confusing!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2017 at 7:57 pm

Hi Destiny,

You get what you allow.. you said it yourself, he’s not going to change overnight and we don’t advice going back to an abusive relationship.

Charlotte

November 13, 2017 at 12:13 pm

Hello

I recently went through a rough break with my ex I have been seeing for a whil he explained everything to me why he did it. It hurt alot. He was important to me. I did beg a little. He couldn’t take a lot pressure of a relationship right now because he is in a dark place and his is relapsing emotionally, he told me he once institionalized himself. He was not himself and angry he lost people who were important. He told me I was too important to him to lose even as a friend. He said he cared for me and liked me. That his parents were important to him and i was as important. I told him I would stay by his side and he said he didn’t want to risk hurting me and he couldn’t put me through that. I told him I was strong I could handle that. That he wouldn’t hurt me. He said you don’t know that. That he refused to lose me like that. He wasnt sure there was anyone for him. He asked me why i couldnt hate him i told him i had no reason too that i cared for he. He would rather i hate him for a few months then risk Me never talking to him again. We went back and forth for an hour. I accepted it. I said I was there for him. At the end we cried and before I left he said if I was still around we could try again when he was better. I said okay. How sincere? Did he mean it? Does he or did he want me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2017 at 7:51 pm

HI Charlotte,

he probably still does..

Yniat

November 11, 2017 at 6:02 am

Hi . My boyfriend of almost a year
broke up with me for a month now. I waa so devastated and depressed that i hardly eat. I lost 1lbs in just a week. I begged (never did that to any of my exes) him to take me back or see me to talk about it but he doesn’t want to. He said i should stop or he will block me. I stopped but he still blocked me on whatsapp. I was doing the no contact rule although it’s so hard then i received a message from him asking for his stuff back. I immediately replied that i will give it to him and will call him. And he said No. He wanted me to leave his things to one of our friends and he will get it from there..i started begging to see him or can i call him at least. He still said no coz there is no need. After that i still continued the no contact rule. But out of the blue he will message me and ask for his stuff back again. I usually reply to him after 3 to 5 hrs. The last time i was so busy and i replied that i will get back to him once i am available. Yesterday he sent me a message again saying Hi but up until now i haven’t replied.

I don’t want to give his stuff back coz i am scared that once he gets them he will block me or never contact me again. I don’t know what i should do. I really want to see him even if it will be the last time. When we were together he will get mad and then after 30mins we will be ok like nothing happened. He’s a Taurean and quite stubborn. Should give him his stuff back thru our or i should ask to meet him and give it to him personally? I love him and i really miss him so bad and just want to see him even if it will be the last time.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 1:03 am

Hi Yniat,

it’s not a no contact period if you kept calling, texting and replying, especially begging.. holding on to his stuff is not going to stop him from moving on too.. check this one:
Does Begging For Your Ex Back Even Work?

Jenelia

November 6, 2017 at 8:09 am

Hi i am really seeking for help .it already been two weeks since my bf broke up with me.we were together for 1 year but during this we never fought and suddenly one day he comes and tell me that something is different he dont feel the same way when we have started. He said we need to go our own ways and move on. I told him that i cannot do that and i cried i even tried to hurt myself because everthing was falling down as we were planning to live together . I begged him not to leave me but he said its not because of me its him who was too stressed . He said he loves me still cares for me but he dont feel thesame way before and wants to leave me .but the day after we broke he messaged me saying that he still misses me and want to see me and i told him to come over and had intimate moment . The whole dAy he stayed with me kissed me hugged me. He had to go to university that day so he went and talked to me normAlly until tomorrow and again sauddenly he started sending messages that he wants space even though he came to my place he said he is sorry for coming to my palce and that day i cried i shouted i did some stupid things that i shouldnt have done and the nxt morning he send me a text saying for me to be happy and not to talk with him . I was so devastated and then i thought its over even though i told him i am gonna msg him after a week . And then i found about no contact . I havent contacted him since then he unfriended me on all social apps . Is NC working on him or no ? Was it too late for me to apply that rule on my bf ? Everyday i feel like i am going through hell . Is he upset with me because i did stupid things when he tried to break up with me ?Does any one have any answere for me please help me ..

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:16 pm

Hi Jenelia,

You’re overthinking.. How much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Cynthia

November 4, 2017 at 10:32 am

Ho

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2017 at 6:17 am

Hello Cynthia!

Abi

October 27, 2017 at 11:13 am

I think I started the whole no contact rule wrong… I didn’t tell him I was going to do no contact but I did tell him I needed space to get back to being myself for a while before I stopped talking to him. And he agreed to give me that space… is that just defeating the whole point of no contact or will it still have similar effects??

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:22 pm

Hi abi,

As long as you didn’t tell him for how long you’re going to need space, that’s ok..

Cyrilla

October 16, 2017 at 10:34 am

Hi, my long time partner for 8 yrs cheated on me and immediately moved to her since I found out. He just met her a month ago and the girl was also heartbroken from a recent divorced. He said our lack of comminication, my mom lived with us and she’s so controlling that made him so mad.. he said he’s not happy anymore. Though I love him so much, I let him go and I’m really trying to heal myself coz the pain is unbearable. But everytime he’s crying, feeling remorse, keeps on contacting me, showing up to me coz I’m doing the no contact rules. But he’s very depressed that he’s hurt me, our family, our employer coz we work in the same house. He also lost his weight and still feels bad about what happened. He said he wish it were a dream that he would wake up that it never happened. I still love him but I’m so broken right now.. the girl is different race and very opposite of me. He said he always misses his life with me. He’s always sad and depressed. And he asked me if we could be friends though we’re not together anymore. And told me that even though we’re apart he does not want to lose me. I think that’s so selfish of him. He’s afraid that I’ll reject him if he asks for forgiveness and come back to me. Pls help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 17, 2017 at 12:01 am

Hi Cyrilla,
Check this one:
He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?

Heather Baker

September 29, 2017 at 8:30 pm

Me and my ex bf dated off and on for about 4 and a half years, he ended up breaking things off about two years ago because of my behavior and alcoholism. He still continued to text me almost daily with pictures I like and asking me how I am. I would always ask things like if he still loved me and wanted to be with me and he’d say yes always or get made when I kept pushing the issue. I treated him very badly when intoxicated. One time he told me he was waiting till I got better because he cared about me and then once he knew I was safe he could move on. I moved into a halfway house 2 weeks ago….. and already am doing much better! He has texted me 3x in the last two weeks instead of daily, a sudden dramatic drop in frequency. I have been remotely quiet and haven’t responded. Any advice? I still love him but don’t know what to do……

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Hi Feather,

Check this one:
EBR 035: Is Your Ex Boyfriend Stringing You Along?

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1,519 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”