Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

J

September 11, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Amorrrr! Heyyyy Back with an update
So yesterday was my first contact day and I did still go with the text that I asked u about (about his fav artist). To my initial txt, he responded positively with “hey . Who?” Then texted again right after. I was at work all day so it forced me to not respond quickly. I sent 2, he sent 4! I “ended” the convo by ghosting and then picked up today from where we left off, still talking about music. This topic could probably last days if I let it. He had always been a slow txter, but he has been responding to me within the hour. Which is really good from him. I take about 3-4 hours, or at least I try to take longer to reply than he does. This last time he responded immediately and I waited about 50 min after. Over time, I’ll start to text back faster to fit more texts into the day. Is this a good way to not be too available?
Also, I want to try something different. Instead of ending the conversations and then starting a whole new one on another day, I’m going to try ghosting the convos and then picking back up the next day. This way, if I end at the high point where I know he’s really waiting for a response, he’ll check his phone even more and it’ll be easier to talk over the long run because I won’t have to think about what to say. Basically, the conversation never truly stops and we can just branch off into other topics naturally. Does that make sense?
I was also wondering if you think I should still skip a day texting since I am already spacing the texts out? It’s only been 2 days and things have been positive and good so far. He’s even been playful. Hopefully things keep going this way *fingers crossed*

J

September 11, 2016 at 10:48 pm

His initial text was “hey *excited smiley emoji*. Who?” Idk why the emoji isn’t showing up here haha

Charity

September 10, 2016 at 9:14 pm

Hi Amor,
I completed my 30-day no contact rule and sent him the first contact text 4 days ago but no response. The text was about the good old day, I happened to be at the restaurant where we first met and it reminded me of him. Complete silence on his part. I heard silence itself is the answer. Part of me wants to give it another try to re-establish communication. Should I try again? Thank you for your response and insight.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 10:39 am

HI Charity,
Give it a week and initiate again, but don’t use a memory text.

Marina

September 9, 2016 at 8:30 pm

Alright, so he cheated on me with a married girl, I found out, and after that he said he did not know how things will work for now and he said he did not see a future with me anymore. Never cried in front of him, told him “ok, if this is all you wants, that s it”.

I have made 35 days of NC. He only texted me once: in my 5th day of NC. It was a link about cancer. I did not respond. 1 day ago I texted him on Facebook and he talk a lot about him, and also asked about me and he apologized. I said it was better this way to brake up.
After the texts, I said “I have to go know, talk later”. He said ok.
Anyhow, the thing that scars me is not be friendzoned. He is very friendly with people in general.
I did not write him anything today, I was thinking to let him to write me something? What do you think? What to do next?

Marina

September 10, 2016 at 2:19 pm

I have texted him again today(the second time) and i told him that is somebody at the gym that looks like his best friend. He responded “haha maybe is him”. And after that I said I want to take my stuff from his home and told him to tell me when to come. He said “alright, of course “. And that was all.

I don’t know…. It seemes like he is responding me because complacency. I do not know what to do next: to continue to text him, or to quit everything 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 3:44 pm

Hi Marina,

it’s too early to quit.. Take it slow..use the opportunity of gettigg your things to look your best and to establish a calm atmosphere between the two of you.. use it as an ice breaker

Mallory

September 9, 2016 at 3:10 pm

So I haven’t talked to my ex for only about a week. He had been texting another girl and I found out about this late one night and so he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore and blamed it all the fact that we fight. Its been so hard not to talk to him but I haven’t for about a week. He’s on vacation until Sunday but he still has tons of stuff at my house that I really want out because my six year old believes he is going to come back since his stuff is still there. So its really tough because I don’t know if I should tell him to come get his stuff when he comes home or just don’t text him at all. The thing that hurts is that he is now talking and hanging out with a completely different girl and it makes me sick to think he moved on so quickly what do I need to do?

Mallory

September 12, 2016 at 5:34 pm

I mean we broke up on the 26th of August
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 1:43 pm

yup, leave it just at that.. it’s only been a week, so it’s too early for him to show signs that he misses you especially if he is talking another girl.. but you can still read this one to see if he will show or he has shown some signs of missing you:
Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!
Mallory

September 12, 2016 at 5:31 pm

We were together a little over a year and a half we broke up on the 2nd. I have been doing the no contact and its extremely hard just because I know he has been talking and hanging out with another girl so it really hurts and it feels terrible. I did text him last night just saying that he needs to come get his stuff because I want it out and he said he wouldn’t be in town until today so I don’t want to text him again because I’m trying not to talk to him at all should I just leave it at that? How do I know if he even misses me because I feel like he doesn’t but I want it to work so bad. I started counseling because it has been so hard and I signed up for classes that start in January so I feel like I am starting to work on myself I just want him to want me
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 12:12 pm

Hi Mallory,

how long were you together? and when did you break up? do you want to try the no contact rule? He can still talk to you about his things during it, but make it only about his things.

Sunshine

September 9, 2016 at 3:02 am

Hi there,
Please help I did nc over a month, since 1 August till 4 September. I sent him best wishes card And he send me thanking text message. After 4 days I sent him text asking the name of Restsurant he used to take me over for lovely lunch. But no reply to my text. Am not sure if he is ignoring me or am nothing to do with him at all. Please help.
Thanks
Sunshine

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 9:30 am

Hi Sunshine,

The card, what was written in it? Best wishes for what? Give him 3-5 days before initiating and don’t use a memory text again. Use a different topic that he loves talking about.

Tiffani

September 6, 2016 at 6:15 pm

Hey there! So my ex and I recently broke up because he says “he feels tied down(even though I let him be with his friends and stuff) and half hearted when he’s with me”.. But this is the second time he’s done this.. When we were together he would have some “stuff at home” going on and would take it out on me sometimes.. There would be days he wouldn’t talk to me or that he was distant with me.. I’m trying to work things out with him now but it seems as if I annoy him lately even know I’m not meaning to.. I really just want him back.. But I feel like it was all my fault.. I don’t know what to do..

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2016 at 10:01 am

Hi tiffani,

do you want to try the no contact rule:

Rose

September 5, 2016 at 4:32 pm

I have a texting dilemma with my guy. We really like each other and have a special connection, when we are together it’s always nice and sweet and we are all over each other. I do believe his feelings for me since due to other people trying to get in between us we’ve had some arguments or disagreements due to misunderstanding and instead of moving on to the next girl (I was told he was a player-one of our fights) he still try’s with me yet barely knowing me.. But told me that He feels like he knows me for so long bc of the way we are with each other. The problem is we live 2hrs away from each other & he is a horrible texter!!!! He goes days without texting me but will be on social media and then when he does text me he says “I know your mad but… & usually just wants to make plans to see me or we’ll talk on the phone OCCASIONALLY but nothing deep or meaningful. He says he’s busy but why isn’t he too busy for social media? Why does he not text if he knows it bugs me? Is he just lying? Is he really a player? He is 5years younger than me but I need help understanding this texting issue or if I Just drop him cause it’s bs

Rose

September 7, 2016 at 6:23 am

He posts about his day.. But won’t look at my snap story unless I’m bothered with him. I suppose I don’t bring up anything interesting but at least he can say good morning or thinking of you or something. I actually told him several times that actions speak louder than words.. And recently told him I wasn’t going to bother making an effort to go see him (1 1/2hr drive) if I couldn’t get a simple text back from him.. He did not reply to my message but looked at my snap story. I do not understand. At. All.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 8, 2016 at 8:16 am

He got curious with your posts because you got angry with him not texting…

Put yourself in his shoes. If you are interested in a person, and texting is the only way to that girl, you would text right? So, that can mean that he’s not that interested and he doesn’t have anything interesting to talk with you in text.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 6, 2016 at 2:52 pm

Hi Rose,

maybe it’s the topic.. Maybe you have to work on the topics that you talk about. What does he do in social media? Why not try social media messaging instead?

Victory

September 4, 2016 at 3:43 am

Hello,
First of all I want to thank you for all information that I had learned from this site. It helps me a lot! You guys are doing amazing job. It doesn’t bring my ex boyfriend back but I’m on my way to do it. It helps me to believe in my self and a little bet come down, I had never thought that I’ll write here, but I need your advice. We had broke up a month ago. After that was messages about how we both feel, there was no fighting when we broke up, he said I have too many issues, on which I’m working right now. He was the one who decided to split. The last message was from me 16 days ago, that i need to concentrate on myself, fix my life and take my time, during the nc he haven’t contact me. Do I need to keep 30 days no contact if after we had broke up it was only couple messages with respond during 2 weeks before I had started nc him? I know I know u are going to say yes, 30 days, it’s hard…

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 4, 2016 at 11:42 pm

Hi Victoria,

yes, you need to. It is hard but it’s not impossible and anything that’s worth it, takes time. It’s not rushed. Actually the very important factor you need to do is to really change yourself. Not just because that’s what you said to him but because you need to be emotionally stronger and he has to think you’re not going to chase him anymore.

Anne

July 19, 2016 at 2:28 am

Thank You Amor for your suggestion, and I really did walk out the door. And I have already stopped chasing him. I started my new life already
Thank you ^_^

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 2:10 pm

You’re welcome!

Tiffany

July 17, 2016 at 1:25 pm

I am on week 2 of NC, and it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve seen him. It’s not getting any easier. I haven’t contacted him by text or phone or anything, however, and I am ashamed to admit this but I have been posting a lot of things on Facebook, like memes and quotes that I know he will see. (Pathetic I know)

I don’t know if he’s seen them because I finally deactivated my profile. I am so scared that he found someone else, or that he left me for someone else even though he denied it when I asked.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t know if he misses me, or is hurting like I am and I’m going crazy. Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 6:22 pm

Hi Tiffany,

you said you’ve posted a lot in fb, what were you posting and what activities have you started during nc to improve yourself? are you going out withe friends? are you meeting new people? that’s good that you weren’t able to answer it because it looks like you’re not ready to keep everything rational

Anne

July 16, 2016 at 2:32 am

HI Amor,

Yes I’m in NC since 10th July, due to my exams he told me to study and then to talk with him. Well I really want to improve myself, but in vain, there should be a mutual understanding between two partners. Well he broke my trust once or more by saying some stuffs which I asked him to keep in privacy. He said me what his friends talked about our LDR, which made him more insecure. Due to anger I asked his friend whether that was right or wrong, he said he asked him to take a break..and not breakup.
I really don’t know who is speaking the truth. : (
I have messed it up all. : ‘ (
Well proposing means..he says that he made me fall in love with him once. In the same way I need to make him fall in love with me once over again. : /
Hence, I asked help from you.
With lots of love : )

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 6:33 pm

Eek.. sorry but I have to be honest.. it’s either he knows how much you love him and loves being worshipped, so he tells you to do that.. or he’s narcissitic.. but either one, it’s still selfish.. which if done to me, I would be out the door…
mutual understanding means mutual respect too..
but the good side is if you don’t chase and start to have your own life, it might make him realize to respect you

Kevyn

July 16, 2016 at 12:15 am

I have a few questions and concerns about the texting methods.

I’m worried I can’t come up with something interesting enough each day when texting him, and that it will come off as a bit “try-hardy” if I keep doing it. My ex also has a pretty busy life and had trouble getting back to me even when we were together. And on top of all this, I have bipolar disorder. My moods switch a lot, especially with him, and I know it says to only text when you’re in a Zen state. It can be hard for me to achieve that (we all have our off days), and I’d be too afraid to keep texting him when I’m not mentally ready for it.

I guess what I’m saying is, I find the text frequency (day 1: 2 texts, day 2: 3 texts, day 3: no texts, 4: 5 texts etc etc) to be a bit much for my tastes, even if he were to respond positively. Is it absolutely imperative that I follow this method, or can I modify it a bit to my needs, like taking more days off in between?

Kevyn

July 16, 2016 at 6:14 pm

When you say end it at that, do you mean just end the conversation? Or stop talking to him period/go back into no contact for awhile?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 9:47 pm

oh sorry! I meant just end the convo
Kevyn

July 16, 2016 at 12:28 am

Additionally I wanted to ask: if he tries to engage me in conversation about the break-up or anything serious, should I just stop replying? I feel like he’d get annoyed if I just swerved around the topic and continued talking later without any mention of it. Or should I discuss it, but only in a few text messages, depending on what day I’m on?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 5:05 pm

hi Kevyn,

yeah you can modify to your own and use more current topics.. with what’s current on the news, with friends, music, in your lives, where you work or live..

and if he opens up the talk about the break up.. let him..listen and ask what his concern is, but don’t start to blame him or open up negative feelings.. if he starts that, tell.him you understand and you didn’t mean for him to feel that way and you’re looking forward to having a better friendly relationship with him later on then don’t say anything more..end it at that

Anon

July 15, 2016 at 5:22 pm

Hi, i know that i am not supposed in this trend but it seems that this is more active trend other than the “how to get your ex gf back.” Reading back and fourth they are almost the same.

Hi! I’m a male with a heart of a female. Me and my ex both love each other. We have a very strong relationship before. Our relationship was almost 2 months old. We are forced to end up our relationship due to life priorities and other things. Her parents don’t want any commitment just yet. While she was still studying. I love her so much to the point that I don’t wanna lose her. We had a good text break-up, she wants me to be with her as friend. Like an old times. But the problem is me, I can’t just take it. I was still in shocked. Then later on myself acted needy. And trying to convince her that we can be still together but no pressure at all. Then that was the time she blocked me and lose her in my all social accounts but not her number. I just cant let her ignored while we still do have an active connections. Now its been almost 6 months of NC rule. And I miss her so much. Do you think its time for me to contact her now? I think this is the time for me to befriended. But I am afraid that she would not talk to me or get me in her circles anymore, due to her coldness; maybe. I sometimes stalk her accounts and I feel that she misses me too, but I don’t assumed that much cause I don’t want to be hurt or neither both of us. I have less time here in my country. And she knows that I am going to other countries. Do you think its okay to said goodbye? Or should I just walk away and don’t bother her anymore? In the past 6 months we had no personal closures rather than text.

She is soft inside covering in a hard shell.

Kindly Help
Thank You and God Bless.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 7:09 pm

Hi Anon,

in the past 6 months, how have you improved? If she sees your account or you in person, what impression would you leave?

Anne

July 15, 2016 at 8:16 am

Hello to everyone of Ex Boyfriend Recovery site. I really appreciate this site a lot, it tackled me in such a complicated situation. Well I’m following now the No contact rule for some days. I’m writing this today since it’s my 8th Anniversary. We both are in LDR. All I can say is that I broke his trust and hope. He asked me to regain it back.
So, I’m asking help
How can I regain the lost trust and hope?
He said me to propose him. But to be honest this is my first relationship : ) And frankly I don’t know how to propose my man : P
So could U help me ?
With lots of love and greetings : )

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:17 pm

HI Anne,

YOu’re in no contact? how many days now and are you actively improving yourself? Why did he lose trust with you and what do you mean by propose? as in propose engagement?

Sarah

July 13, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Hi!

My boyfriend broke up with me 1.5 month ago. It came out of nowhere and i’m not sure if he told me the truth.
We had a fight about the fact that i bought myself a house when we were dating for 8 months at that time. (we dated for a little more than a year) and he just told me about how he felt about this when he broke up with me (4 months later). He told me he was mad that i didn’t asked him to move in together before i thought of buying a house. I didn’t understand why he got mad because he never told me he loved me or that he wanted to be with me in a more serious way. It never crossed my mind to ask him because of that but i didn’t feel ready because it’s only made 8 months and i wasn’t sure he wanted something more serious and i was okay with us taking our time.

When i asked why he was breaking up, he told me it was because he didn’t see how this could work out when i would move in in my house because he wouldn’t feel at home at all at my house… He also told me he thought we didn’t see each other enough because of school. (and it wasn’t because of me, because i tried to see him but he always had an excuse like i need to study).

Why did he make a big deal out of the house when he never told me his feelings for me. And i really felt like he loved me…

His mind was already set, i didn’t see it coming at all. I tried to find solution but it was nothing i could do about it. I told him that it didn’t seems to bother him at all and he told me it did but he didn’t have the time to think about that for the moment (school wasn’t finish yet)

He never tried to contact me since then. It’s been 45 days… I’ve been in no contact for 38 days now and i still miss him a lot. I feel like it’s stupid because he already knew he didn’t want us to be together so he had more time to move on, and he never told me what his feelings about me was so may be he just didn’t loved me at all and felt like it would be less painfull for me to hide the truth…

I want to contact him but i don’t know if i should. I really improve myself since then, i feel a little better sometimes, but there’s day i just can’t stop thinking about him and how easy that could have been to work things out (in my perspective)….

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 6:36 pm

Hi Sarah,

yeah it could be just an excuse or it’s partially the truth because it might be that he felt insecure when you had your own place and he doesn’t

Anon

July 11, 2016 at 12:40 am

Hello Amor,

I have been in active NC for 16 days, and I need some advice navigating the first contact text message. In essence, I understand that it should be a couple sentences reminiscent of a positive memory that we shared, correct? After I send it, and IF he responds, about how long should I continue the texting conversation before cutting it off, and which time of day is best? If he DOES NOT respond, what is the best course of action; continue NC or wait for him to eventually contact me?
Thanks for all your help so far.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 8:24 am

it’s just one of the style..you can ask something about what he loves talking about.. text in the time that you know is best for his schedule. of he responds, end it in high note..usualky in the first day you only exchange 2-4 messages and then you end it.. if he doesn’t respond, try 1-2 days of after that before texting again..read this too:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

cara

July 3, 2016 at 7:33 pm

hi,
my boyfriend and i broke up after 6 months of intense dating.
he had trust issues with me and others, in general was skeptical of everything i did.
this led him to break up with me after a big fight we had about the entire situation.
i love him so much, but i understand we come from different worlds.
he blocked me off social media and whatsapp.
i do not know if we will get back together but i really want to speak to him and just get the closure i need instead of being cut off the way i was.
i feel so disrespected and hurt by the situation.
i feel like to move on or even maybe move forward i need to speak to him, but he says “this is his way of dealing with the breakup” – by cutting off all contact with me.
if you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 8:54 pm

Hi Cara,

do you want to do active no contact?

Mae

June 29, 2016 at 8:04 pm

Hi!
I’d like to join the group of people asking advise. My ex and me broke up a year ago. We were together for a year before that, but mostly long distance. After not talking until January this year he contacted me in a neutral, friendly e-mail. Ever since we have been in contact via text and skype. Since he has started a relationship recently and lives on another continent, there is little chance we will get back together. Still, I have noticed that I do have feelings for him. My question is – should I keep the contact trying to “be there”, should I try to move on to being friends with him or would it be best to stop talking all together to him in order not to hurt my feelings? I am scared I could become obsessive about it, though the contact in the past six months was mutually friendly. I hope that you can help me.

Mae

July 1, 2016 at 4:43 pm

I think it was just the distance and very stressful situations in both our personal lifes.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 10:56 am

Hi Mae,

why didn’t your relationship with him worked out?

Ploy

June 26, 2016 at 2:57 pm

I had a long distance with my ex for 1 year and half. We were very serious and his parents were okay and quite happy. He is 6 year older than me. He never had anyone before me. He broke up 7 month ago. I tried no contact rules. Nothing worked and everything is worse and worse. He completely blocked me for almost two months. He deleted his facebook, makes his twitter as private, and told his family not to talk to me. i have known our mutual friend in line and he hasnt even talk to them almost a month. No cheating. I love him and only him and now he is still single. I tried to call him by his real number but i got in voicemail, I sent him pikachu doll across the countries he didn’t take it so his sis put it in closet. I feel like I’m completely trapped. last time he talked, he cussed at me and he never cuss at anyone especially woman then he is gone. he never read my texts in Line anymore and he got new phone but same numbers.

what can I do to be able to talk or at least text him please
i have his sisters messenger but i can’t talk to them much and i dont want them to get annoyed by me too much but i will do everything, I’m even saving money so i can go to his country in 2-3 years

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 12:43 pm

Hi Ploy,

no contact is meant for you to heal and to start having your own life.. and with what I see, you’re still needy of him.. don’t message his sister.. It looks like you appear obsessive to him.. Have you own life first and if he really sees you’ve moved on, have your own life and improved then there’s a chance he might want to be friendly again. I know he blocked you, but if you’re still friends with his sister in you social media accounts, then they will see your post..

Do not mention in your posts that you’re doing what you’re doing for him, or to move or to forget him.. just make it a casual post.

sallyanne

June 26, 2016 at 8:44 am

Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. The initial break up was due to his depression. We stayed in contact for a while after but I founf it to hard. So we stopped talking for 5-6 weeks. Id told him I wanted nothing more to do with him and he respected my wishes and left me alone. We eventually got back in contact but he was cold and distant, so I didn’t really message him again. We bumped into each other a few weeks ago and drunkenly we ended up having an argument as I found out he was sleeping with his ex again. That has since stopped and hes started messaging me again. Its always over snapchat and nothing really too serious. Just random things and occasionally he wants my opinion on something. He doesn’t really ever ask anything about me. Hes said he enjoys talking to me but he doesn’t want anything serious. He messages me now near enough everyday. We spoke on the phone last week for half hour and had a really good positive conversation. I ended it on a high note and he messaged me straight after. I just don’t know what to do now. I said about just seeing how things go and he didn’t really respond to it. So what do I do? Do I continue chatting to him knowing he doesn’t want anything serious, hoping that he will change his mind?

SallyAnne

June 29, 2016 at 4:51 pm

I’ve been waiting to hear from him, so it’s whatever he messages me about that we discuss. But when he messaged me this week I was at work so wasn’t really able to talk much. How do I find out how he sees me? Or what he thinks?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 9:07 am

well, there’s no sure fire way to know what he thinks but basing on his actions then it means he doesn’t find you that interesting as of now.. Initiate a topic, that way the conversation doesn’t depend on him
SallyAnne

June 28, 2016 at 8:10 pm

Hi Amor, I did I changed what I wear I lost 2 stone in weight and I began doing things I didn’t do before. I haven’t been to the gym as much since we started talking again. But the last few days we’ve barely spoke and when we have its not been the free fun conversations we were having. So it doesn’t really go anywhere. But I don’t know how to get those other conversations going again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 2:53 pm

it depends on the topics and timing of your text..if the topics you use are not interesting for him.. he probable wouldn’t be engaged that much.. and if you send it at the wrong time then he may reply late or forgwt about it.. it also depends on how he sees you..on what he thinks about you
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm

HI Sallyanne,

did you improve yourself and did you continue to do it now that you’re talking again?

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2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”