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K
April 3, 2016 at 4:20 am
Hey, Chris or Amor!
Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship with each other for almost 8 months now. The only way we communicate is through texts.
We used to hardly get to talk due to our busy schedules. It so happened that on the Valentine’s day, he didn’t wish me and was instead posting updates of being single. When I asked him the reason for it, all he did was blocking me for 2 days. From that day , I implemented the ‘No Contact rule’ for 45 days. During that period, he never contacted me.He was to appear for an exam and so on the 47 th day of NC, I texted him wishing all the best. But he didn’t reply. Has he moved on? What am I supposed to do now?. Like should I just remain silent until he texts me? His birthday is next month,and if till then he doesn’t contact me,should I wish him?
He still continues to post stuff referring to him being single. 🙁
Kindly help me. I’m really very confused.
Thanks a ton!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 9:13 am
Hi K,
he has moved on.. and he’s being disrepectful by nit directly breaking up with you.. Stop chasing him and move on so the right guy will come
Nicole
April 2, 2016 at 1:57 pm
Hi there. I met my exboyfriend on line. We started talking and things really clicked. We scheduled dates 2-3 times a week. He was a police officer and had a busy schedule but we made it work. Everything seemed wonderful. He would open car doors when I got in and out of the car, he would drive up to me for the first few times until I was ready to drive to him. He met my parents and they liked him. He told everyone he was seeing me and I did the same. He text me every morning and every night, called me everyday and just made me feel so special, so naturally I returned all the same feelings. We planned vacations and made a bucket list of all the things we wanted to do together as our relationship progressed. We are both 25 and live at home with our parents. I have young siblings and he is the baby of the family. About 6 weeks into dating he wanted me to stay over since we lived an hour a way from eachother. I felt it was too soon in the relationship and hadn’t met his parents yet. (His parents were snowbirds and in Florida from December to April). I felt that in a month or so after I met them and we had been together longer that I would be comfortable with that. My ex seemed bothered by that. He said that if I wasn’t sleeping over by the next month he would have to reevaluate our relationship. I made plans to stay over and he didn’t seemed pleased by the day. I offered Thursday and he wanted me to stay over Friday. I had a family obligation on Friday night and Saturday morning and he wanted me to blow it off. I was more than willing to compromise but he seemed so done.
We were together a total of 3 months and the relationship ended. We have been broken up for nearly a week now. When he broke up with me he called me over the phone before his midnight shift and said that I was a great girl and that we had the same goals and morals but that we were just in different places. I had more responsibilities than he did with my family and he was bothered by the fact that he knew he was never going to be able to sleepover at my house and that I was delayed in sleeping over his. I thought I was being respectful in wanting to meet his parents before staying over their house and we really weren’t together that long. Shortly after he broke up with me I realized he was already back on the dating website we met on and that he had blocked me on Facebook. It is sad and a shame that something so good came to such a sudden ending and How do I know if he even cared for me at all? Will he miss me? I’m aware that some relationships are not meant to be and that we may not get back together and that is okay. I just hate to feel as though our brief time never even mattered to him at all. Because they definitely mattered to me. I have not contacted him again and I do not plan on contacting him. I feel the breakup reason was so stupid that I wouldn’t mind giving him another chance if the opportunity presented itself but I just feel as though it never will. Any thoughts?
Nicole
April 4, 2016 at 3:26 pm
Hi Amor,
Thanks for the response. So is it safe to say that I should definitely move on and not look back. This boy used an excuse to get rid of me and is back where he wants to be? Any chance he cared for me at all?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 5:48 am
yes, for me you should move on…I think he did, but he reason shows that all he wants he sex..it’s like he got you hooked so it would lead there
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 6:15 am
Hi Nicole,
yeah it was silly.. it looks like hhe just used that reason but he just wants to be back on the dating website
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 11:44 am
Hi Alma,
It looks like you broke up during the honeymoon period for you but it seems like the relationship got boring for him or he really is super busy.
Emm
March 31, 2016 at 7:56 pm
I haven’t spoken to my cheating ex boyfriend properly in about 5 months now (since the break up). During the relationship he was extremely controlling and sometimes rude too. He eventually cheated which lead to a breakup. We go to school together and so he sometimes as a joke he stopped me in the halls to try and talk to me but for the most part I ignored him or told him to leave me alone. He has now stopped but, recently, he’s been trying to message me more often than before and trying to get my attention but I keep ignoring. I want to test him to see if he’ll put in some effort but I don’t know if I should try. I feel embarrassed since a lot of people in my grade knew the reason for the break up, one of the girls he was talking to also happened to be from my school. Will I look like I don’t respect myself? Does he just want someone to control again? I just dont know whether or not I should try. And if so, how should I approach it. There’s already been plenty of NC put into this haha.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 11:59 am
Hi Emm,
if he really wants you back he should say it.. but make him work for your trust back before saying yes to him
Lena
March 31, 2016 at 3:46 pm
Hi there 🙂 I would like to get some advice on the first text I should send to my ex. Our story is a bit unusual: we were kind of together for almost two years but he never wanted to fully commit to a relationship. But we saw each other all the time, everyone knew what was going on between us and, for example, he wouldn’t hesitate to invite me to join him for drinks with his friends. He also kept telling me that he wasn’t dating anyone else and didn’t want to. A little over a month ago, he told me that he met this girl and that they were now fully together. All of this happened in two weeks (last time we saw each other, he meeting this girl and “breaking up” with me). So even though our relationship was far from being the perfect one, I have deep feelings for him and really want to get him back and to commit for real this time! I haven’t talked to him since “the breakup” (5 weeks ago) and I’m thinking of sending him a FB message this week. I’ve been brainstorming like crazy and my most recent idea was to send him a link to an article about new evidences in the Making a Murderer case, because we watched the finale together and then kept talking about the case for hours afterwards. But I don’t know if it’s a good subject for a first message (pretty deep subject…) and I also don’t know what I could say in the message… Could you please give me your thoughts and ideas? Thank you so much for all your help (and sorry if my English is bad, I’m doing my best 🙂 )
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 11:48 am
Hi Lena,
You can try to ask some insight about that topic as a first contact if you want…
Wendy
March 30, 2016 at 4:41 pm
Hi there,
My boyfriend and i broke up 3 weeks ago due to the fact that he said he needs to sort out his life. We were together for almost 6 years. According to him he needs to find a real job and stop depending on other people. I didnt fight him on his decision and i immediately started with the no contact rule. Eventually i broke this rule a few days ago when he started texting me again. We also saw each other and he spoke about the fact that he needs to get himself sorted out so that he can give me the things i deserve. Oh and my social life is bothering him so i gave him a piece of my mind. After that i started the NC rule again and for my punishment for breaking it i am going to do 60days. He has texted me constantly saying that he believes that we will end up together again when he is ready. I would just like to know if there is any way that we will reconcile again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 8:38 am
Hi Wendy,
I think 60 days is too much.. And if he texts that he really wants to work things out now and get back, you can break it.
Louise
March 29, 2016 at 8:10 pm
Hiya, I was wondering if there was a refund available for the Texting Bible?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 6:25 am
Yes, you can. Is this the same email you used to purchase it?
Elizabeth
March 29, 2016 at 4:39 am
I’m in my early 40s and was dating a guy also in his early 40s. We met online and hit it off immediately. We only dated for 2 months. However, he texted me everyday, he’d always initiate, would send me cute memes that related to something we had talked about previously, had a lot of the same political and pop culture interests … He has a son that he has every weekend so our in person meetings were limited. But he planned our dates, picked the places, made the reservations … it was so nice to be with someone who took the initiative. I thought things were going well, finally a guy that wasn’t intimidated by the fact that I’m well educated and make a lot of money. I knew he didn’t make as much as me, but I was fine splitting the bill on our dates. So things are going well and then one Saturday he sends me a text inviting me to a party his sister was having the next day; this would be the first I’d meet his family. Of course I said sure, he texts back a Great!, and then 10 minutes later he calls and breaks up with me. I am not kidding. He tells me how he’s broke, he’s in debt, he’s living in his mom’s basement (he told me he had an apartment), and then says that were just too different (basically he smokes pot and I don’t). And he’s crying as he says all this, and so am I. He says how great I am, how much he loves talking to me, etc etc, but he just can’t handle our income difference and how he likes to Party and I’m “too conservative” (not true). Of course, he wants to still be friends. I tell him I don’t know if that’s possible, he’s the first person I’ve actually had feelings for in 5 years, and this is breaking my heart. He says he understands. Fast forward … he texts me a week later, I ignore. He starts liking stuff on my facebook, commenting, I text him asking him what he wants me to do, he still says he just wants to be friends … he cools for a bit, but then texts me to wish me a happy birthday, all I say hours later is Thank you. Then he texts me about some other stuff, sends me articles, just like before … but I’m only responding in short, not-to-be-rude responses, always let his last texts hang without a response. This has now been going on for 6 weeks. I’m trying to move on, but I still have feelings for him. And, TO ME, it seems clear that he still has feelings for me too. But I feel like there isn’t much I can do except try to move on Unless he can admit he misses me and made a mistake. I don’t care about the money stuff (he is employed, with a college degree), and I actually understand why he lied about his housing situation, he’s embarassed. But he didn’t give me a chance to see if I can deal with it. Instead, I feel like he broke up with me before I could break up with him. Is any of this surmountable? Am I crazy to think he’s still into me but just scared? I’m too old for this stuff …
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 5:37 am
Hi Elizabeth,
I think you should try to move on. If he really is serious he has to man up. You’re right, you’re adults he should know and be clear of what he wants instead of playing games.
Confused is my middle name
March 28, 2016 at 7:27 am
So my ex blocked me right after the break up and I’ve finally went out there and tried some others guys. Then about two weeks ago we had an awkward encounter at a party and that was that. Then yesterday (after three months) he finally unblocked me and sent me a message… At 1:30am (I didn’t reply til morning) ….About my sisters ex boyfriend. What do I make of that? I made the conversation brief and ended it before we talked too much.
Confused is my middle name
April 6, 2016 at 4:13 am
What should I say? How long should I wait? (Been a week and a half since those messages) I am so nervous to text him, I don’t want him to think that I’m interested again… Although obviously I am…. I tried for months to get over him and I am over the worst, I still can only think of him, he’s the only guy to have gained my trust and only one I loved. Everyone else feels wrong
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 11:48 am
Try to list thins that really interest him and then use the first text example above.. you can also check this other blog post for more ideas
EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Confused is my middle name
April 3, 2016 at 9:01 pm
No, I haven’t made any effort to reach out to him, but one of our mutual friends came up to me and said that my ex was talking about me and how we are on good terms now
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 12:42 pm
take that as a go signal to text him and build rapport
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 4:25 am
Hi,
are you still talking now?
Liz
March 27, 2016 at 7:47 pm
I did the 30 day NC rule. I used the curiosity method to text. He responded initially, with a ‘what’s that’ but when I sent my second text, with the funny story, he didn’t reply at all. I feel really disappointed because he phoned twice (no messages just missed calls) during NC and I thought he would have been happy to touch base.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 3:55 am
Hi Liz,
It’s been 3 days, you can try again if you want.
Smirtha
March 26, 2016 at 9:27 pm
My ex and I met over Facebook and haven’t met in real life. We both were having a very good time and were very serious about each other but he ghosted out all of a sudden without giving any explanation or breaking up with me. I didn’t bother to ask him why because I didn’t want to sound desperate. This guy finally texts me after three months on my birthday , wishes me and I don’t reply because I expect something more after a three month gap. He then takes a week and texts me about his sexual dream about me. I don’t respond because I thought it was disrespectful. After that he sends me an apology essay where he mentions he doesn’t want friendship or relationship from me. I still don’t respond. This guy flirts with me on the Facebook group in which we both are active members, and then defends me when some girl tried to argue with me. Impressive, I found it very cute, but the way he ghosted out made me not want to respond to him. This guy suddenly sends me a dot as a message and then says he sent it by accident . I thought he said sorry so I might as well tell him it’s ok. I don’t want to come off as cold and rigid. And then he asks’ Mind if I ask how you are?’. I found it somewhat patronizing so I respond saying’ What? No. I’ve been busy working’ to which he says’ Ah, ok sorry’.
I love him, I really do, but the way he ghosted out, made me feel disrespected and I can’t help but act egoistic around him. Plus he already made it clear in his apology note, that he neither wants a friendship nor a relationship, so I’m not sure why he’s trying to chat me up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 2:38 am
Hi Smirtha,
I think it’s because he’s not really serious. It’s easy to sound serious when the relationship is just online because it’s easy to just ignore the other person when you don’t feel like talking. Like what he did.. I think you should avoid him, you don’t know him and with that attitude of him, you really should move on.
Grace Kim
March 25, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Hi,
My BF and I had dated for 9 months. During the first 7 months everything was great. The last 2 months he started to get distant from me, I confronted him about his distance to which he said “I have a lot going on. This is how I deal with stress.” I know I should have given him space but the next day I sent him a text to see if he wanted to hang out, he replied “not tonight, I just want to be alone.” This worried me so I sent him another long text saying how much I cared about him and how he is worrying me, is this relationship still something that he wants, etc. He just responded that he is stressed so I let him be. The rest of the month we would just meet up for dinner but it was awkward. Finally, he broke it off saying that he felt the relationship has felt forced lately and that he felt it was his fault. I know there weren’t any other females involved. Post break up, I did EVERYTHING wrong. I called him, texted him, asked to start over, asked for my things back in hopes of seeing him, i swung by his place, etc. This is something that I NEVER do. He texted me back saying “if there was an inkling of a chance that we could have rekindled our relationship this just killed it.” I apologized for my actions and told him this is something I have never done before and that I acted poorly. He has not reached out to me since, and I get it. I have stopped contacting him for a month now. Do you think it’s okay to reach out to him first after NC? I read your post, which I cannot find now, that it’s OK for the woman and dumped to reach out first and sometimes is necessary especially if the guy is stubborn. I’ve purchased one of your e-books and followed along. It’s just some of the things he said really hurt…I know…sticks and stones…but still. I’m not friends with him on social media so it’s not like I can see what he is up to nor do I think that’s a good idea to cyber stalk him.
I do believe that no situation is hopeless and he is extremely stubborn!
I’m hoping to get a males perspective on this. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 1:39 pm
HI,
Sorry for the late reply.. Yes, that’s ok. Have you contacted him?
Jennifer
March 24, 2016 at 3:45 am
So i finished the NC for over 3 months. We’re both on off relationship and LDR ( I know, it’s a bummer). I still want him back badly. Anyway, should I text him first and what should I say? I really don’t want to mess it up. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 1, 2016 at 3:45 pm
HI Jennifer,
Sorry for the late reply. What appeals to you most in the examples above? YOu can try that format with an interesting topic for him
Yanii
March 22, 2016 at 7:13 pm
Hi, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend he said he misses me. I replied after 19 hours. I replied “this put a smile on my face. how have you been?” I didn’t say i miss him too but I really do. On my third replied I said I’m going to sleep so I said goodnight already even thou I’m not yet going to sleep lol. Am I doing it right? I don’t know what he’s thinking about me right now after doing that. I wanna know your comment thanks in advance 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 31, 2016 at 10:49 am
Hi Yanii,
Yes, you’re doing it right but as time progresses lessen the reply time because it would seem awkward if you always take time to reply.
Kristina
March 21, 2016 at 1:43 am
Hi,
Me and my boyfriend met on a dating site and instantly fell in love. We started dating and he pushed for exclusiveness and I said yes of course, in the beginning of our relationship I had someone kiss me when i didn’t want it, and me and him broke up for a day because I didn’t know what to do. We got back together and talked about our futures, everything and anything from marriage to children I knew all his family and they all love me. Last week I had a super bad anxiety attack and took it out on him, now this wouldn’t be too bad if it weren’t for the fact he was in Disneyland. He decided then we were ‘unhealthy’ and not meant to be at the time but he said he still loved me. He wanted space but instead I texted him about how we belong together and he said sorry no, i reached out to his sister, my mother spoke to his who didn’t even know he had even thought of this. he wanted space again but we were ‘broken up’ and then we ended up texting anyways and he admitted to me right after the breakup he kissed some girl in LA. I told him that he needs to make the decision if he wants to be with me or not because he wasn’t sure and got back from Disneyland, told me to FaceTime him saying it wasn’t to break my heart, but he did. And he said he couldn’t unfollow the girl or delete her number and said we couldn’t be together because it wasn’t fair to me. But he keeps finding dumb reasons to text me and he keeps saying he loves me and he’s lonely but I responded back the same but saying its his choice. And I told him he’s the only man I’ll ever be with and love, and he said the same for me. But told him he could always get me back my showing me were meant to be. The last text I sent was me saying I’ll always be here and he said same and i didn’t respond. I need him back and I don’t know what to do but I don’t have a month to wait because I’m in more pain than I have ever been in. How can I get him to realize were right and we should be together? I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2016 at 11:07 am
Hi Kristina,
It’s normal that it hurts.. because you love him but we can’t force him to go back with you.. everything has a process.. and also is he still with the other girl?
Kristen
March 20, 2016 at 3:03 am
I went through no contact and had been getting positive responses from my ex, and after almost 4 months I saw him at a mutual friends party and he finally said hello instead of ignoring me. I waited a few days after the party and texted again,but now he seems to be ignoring me again… I don’t really understand why, and I don’t know what my next move should be (?)
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 20, 2016 at 9:35 am
if he didn’t reply give it three days before trying again
Alexis
March 18, 2016 at 10:28 pm
Alright, so I tried finding a scenario that fit the one I’m in, but couldn’t find one, so here’s my story. haha
Me and my ex met on a dating site and met in person a week later. There was an instant connection and in the relationship he’d constantly tell me how it feels like we’ve been together longer and how happy he is when we’re together and how much he liked me. He was the one who pushed for us to become exclusive, he wanted me to meet his family, and everything. It took me awhile to let my guard down, but eventually I did because he made me feel secure in the relationship and like it was going to last a long time. He made me so happy and I thought we both liked each other a lot. I honestly thought I met “the one”. We dated for 2 months and we never fought, but the problem was our schedules. I would be working a lot and have school and he would be busy with work and school. He values his education a lot and was really tired and stressed because of school, me, and everything else in his life. He couldn’t balance it all, but he wanted to see me as much as he can.
So after this one bad week where there was this misunderstanding, he says that we should talk. We meet and he breaks up with me because he says that he isn’t in a place in his life where he can have a healthy relationship. He thought he could do it, but school was becoming so overwhelming and he felt bad because he couldn’t put all his energy into me and the relationship. He said he wanted to be with me and get to know me and be with me, but he couldn’t do it properly now. So we decided that we would keep in contact.
I went through a really rough break up last year with this other guy who messed up my trust issues even more, so I thought that my current ex was just lying to me and just wanting to keep me on the side like my past ex was trying to do. So I’m just going to sum up how it all went down.
I texted my current ex on and off for like 3 weeks since the break up with minimal to no response. I’d text him like one or two paragraphs every couple days trying to get him back. The first week I did this he made clear that it wasn’t about me and he just needed time for school and things to settle down. I was like okay and then try and jump straight into normal friendship mode because I missed him a lot. I’d ask him how he’s been? but he wouldn’t reply. Then I’d text him something to do with the relationship and he wouldn’t text me. So I was like okay, maybe I should just give him space and try and text him again later. I let my insecurities and anxiety get a hold of me and I texted him again 3 days later or so, he said again how he just wants to focus on school and for me to please honor his wishes. So then I said I understood, but still wanted him a part of my life or something (I don’t quite remember). He said we could start being friends after I let go of the idea of us dating for the time being. So I said that I let go of that idea and how I wanted him to text me about how the friendship thing is going to go after his midterms. He didn’t text me back even after I asked how his midterms went 3 days after that conversation.
He didn’t reply, so then 4 more days later I texted him saying something along the lines of “I guess I’ll give you your space now. I don’t get why you’re ignoring me or even if you are, but I didn’t expect you to to completely disappear after the break up. I thought there’d be some contact. You know, you ignoring me is hurting me a lot”, so then he said “a break sounds like the best idea.” So I thought okay, we’re going to initiate the no contact rule, but we should get everything clear and out in the open. I asked him what he meant by break, if he needed time to think or cool down and how long the break was going to be. I told him how I was confused because I thought we’d still talk because he said he wanted to be a part of my life when we broke up.
So he said that he was focused on school and enjoying his spring break and that he hadn’t really thought about us recently. He said he wanted to move forward, but it still seems a little too much. How he wanted to get back into the groove of school and stuff without having to worry about anyone. He then said he wanted a break to distance himself from previous emotions.
So then I said that he should’ve told me that in the beginning that I would’ve completely honored his wishes if he would’ve told me he needed space and that me texting him was making it harder for him. I also said how I wanted things to move forward too, but he wouldn’t even reply to my casual messages. I told him how him disappearing freaked me out and brought out a lot of past emotions and self-esteem issues. So then I asked if he sees it being possible for us to be friends without previous emotions coming up, if we’re going to be able to talk again after some time, if he felt the same way about not wanting to losing me as i did about not wanting to lose him, and how long the break will be. I told him I appreciated him being open with me now and apologized for causing stress.
He then replied, “let us rest for a bit”. And at first I said alright, but then I got angry because I always put aside my feelings and needs and crap, so then I said that I needed those questions answered and how it was unfair for him to leave me with false hope and that he could just tell me if he doesn’t have an answer to those questions. I also said how I valued honesty more than anything else.
So then he said there is nothing to be hopeful of, so there is no answer. So then I said so you’re telling me there is no possibility of us being or friends or anything in the future. He said “well yes that changed because you kept texting me paragraphs” and he mentioned how i dragged the break up on for too long and it’s probable better if we don’t talk for awhile. So I said you left me in the dark! and you didn’t tell me you needed space! I wouldn’t have texted you if you told me! and I said how I know I dragged on the break up and how I hated how I was getting and I just wanted things to go back to normal. I admitted to letting my anxieties and past emotions get the better of me and how I was sorry and hoped he could see that this version of me doesn’t define me. I then said how I was scared of losing him, but I guess I ended up losing him. Then I said okay, I heard all he had to say and how he feels and how I’ll honor his wishes and how I also think it’s best to let things cool down and hopefully get back to normal. Then I said how sorry I was again and how I knew I was going to mess it up. Then I said goodbye.
I hate how clingy I got and I’m scared even after some time of not talking that he will be left with that image of me and not even remember the good times we had in the relationship. That he wouldn’t want to be friends or anything after the no contact rule is implemented because he saw that side of me and will only remember me as this crazy person. Is there some hope that he will be a part of my life in some way? Is him saying “It’s probably better if we don’t talk for awhile” just a nicer way of saying “Don’t talk to me ever again”? Should I try texting him again after not texting him for 45 days or so? I wasn’t planning on bringing up the relationship or anything once that time comes and just making it casual like how it was when we first met.
I think it’s possible that he can see why I reacted that way and will understand, but I don’t know. That’s why I’m submitting this question.
Alexis
March 19, 2016 at 6:40 pm
I feel like I might’ve driven him away, so he probably won’t ever look at my blog or instagram (instagram because he was only active when we were together). I’m scared I made him forget how good our relationship was. 🙁
Alexis
March 19, 2016 at 6:35 pm
Thank you. Yeah, I plan on getting myself back during NC. I was going to try and go out more and do more activities that I liked to do. I didn’t turn into this person until the break up and I was super independent in the relationship and when he met me, which was one of the things he really liked about me in the first place. I really hope that he just said those things out of anger and frustration and he sees my point of view and that I admit and saw how I was acting because as I said during the relationship he wanted nothing but me in his life, but just school made him too stressed. Do you think things will be okay after NC?
Alexis
March 18, 2016 at 10:46 pm
I’d also like to mention that when I asked him before (which was a week before the last conversation) if he liked me or still cared about me and he said that he still checks my blog. He hasn’t recently because I have this view tracker on my blog, but I don’t know if that adds to the possibility of us being together in some way after NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 4:53 pm
Hi Alexis,
First if you’re online friends then that image will be replaced over time when you start to be active but the truth is, you really have to make it seem you’re moving on, so when you text again it won’t come across as getting him back
sarah
March 18, 2016 at 6:38 pm
Hey,
me and my boyfriend broke up a week ago after a 7 month long distance relationship. I initiated the break up because I found out he had downloaded and was using dating apps again. He has a very complicated and busy work and we live quite far apart that is why at the beginning I kept pushing him away. But he said he wanted me and he didn’t care of the distance and after a while I took my guard down and we started this relationship. He would text and call as much as he could and send flowers and we tried to organise as many weekends as possibile but recently we haven’t been seeing each other for two months (never has been that long) and then I found out of the dating app. We argued and ended with him saying that it was better that way because we are too far apart and he doesn’t want a long distance relationship. I don’t understand what has changed, I miss him and would want to get on a plane just to see him even now. What do I do? do I apply the no contact rule? is there still any possibility.? Can I randomly text him in a few weeks telling me I happen to be close to where he lives?
SARAH
April 29, 2016 at 1:05 pm
thanks for the reply, it has been over month since I last wrote here. I have tried to contact him a week after the breakup and he responded to the text then I tried calling him but he never picked up. I have not contacted him since that and it has been over a month. He never contacted me either nor do I think he ever will (he always has been super stuburn). What should I do? his job is pretty complicated and he has little free time but I was still willing to put the money and time to see him as much as possible it is clear I am having a very hard time moving on because after nearly two months I’m still thinking of him (and he probably isn’t). I don’t think he has moved on dating another girl yet but I can’t be sure the question is should I contact him or should I wait this summer when we will both be in the same place and he will be more free (he has a very complicated and consuming job). I would like to see him really badly but I’m scared I’m the only one wanting this to start again. Morover, I might be moving back to where he lives (I was sending cv to his city when we were still together) and now this could actually be a possibility. Anyhow I don’t know what to do if there is anything at all to be done
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 11:07 am
with him ignoring you like that, you have to face the reality that he is moving on and you are the only one trying.. if you still want to try, the best time would be when you’re in the same place.
sarah
March 22, 2016 at 1:14 am
Hi Amor,
thanks for the response. Good question..actually I have no clue if he is using tinder or anything but considering we broke up I guess so (considering he was still doing it before). Indeed after that last text he sent me a week ago about leaving things as they are because he has realised distance is a problem (duh now it is a problem after 8 months of dating!!!!) I haven’t heard from him and canceled any match, Facebook or social media..(not to secretly stalk him). The problem is I miss him really badly. I’m trying to move on but it hurts and I keep thinking of him, obsessing on what he is doing and where/with who he might be, what he is thinking etc. See the problem with LDR is that yes you don’t see each other much but in the last 8 month we have talked every single day with no exception! I would have never accepted anything like this from no one else and still I would have given him a second chance trying to believe him and his stupid excuses to be on tinder to begin with.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2016 at 2:04 pm
That’s normal, you’re human and it’s also because of habit that you miss him. And actually, with ldr, the longer you don’t see each other, the harder it gets. So, you really have to have time, money and a plan for it to work. You have to at least see him once a month if you get back together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 4:09 pm
Hi Sarah,
The question is, do you still trust him? because if not and if he’s still in the dating app, it’s better not to get back with him..You’ll be in a position that whatever he does from this point on will be ok with you
Ryan Allen
March 16, 2016 at 2:24 pm
My girl friend broke up with me 3 months ago. I screwed up and was clingy, obsessed and controlling because of my insecurities. I have learned from them. She stopped replying to my text so i went NC and sent a text, she did not reply. Her brother and I was drafted to the same baseball team. That night at practice, I said bye to her and she said bye as i was walking away she said you don,t have to be scared of me. I clamed up and left, i text her that night and only got one word responses so I said goodnight, she replied nite and thanks for the text earlier sorry i did not respond. It has been a week and nothing, I have not texted her and she has not texted me. We are both 16. What should I do? During our relationship I did want to be with her 24/7 and did not want to share her with her friends. I see I did not respect her time, space and friends. I have been working on this but I have never apologized for this. She has not spoken to me since until last week at baseball practice where she said bye and that I do not have to be scared of her. I really like this girl and would like a second chance to do it right without insecurities. please help
Savannah
March 17, 2016 at 2:18 am
I would just tell you that try and show her that you have changed and that you respect her being with other friends and also don’t be superficial ok just be yourself and when you see her show her how much you love her and that you really do wan to be better trust this happened to me with a guy before and he did what i told you and i trusted him enough to date him again ok hope i helped
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 11:49 pm
Hi Ryan Allen,
How did she know you were afraid? And are you schoolmates too? Is there a chance you will bump each other more other than the baseball practice?
GalaxyE
March 16, 2016 at 1:12 am
Hi, I’ve posted several comments in efforts of being responded (:
My ex, broke up with me about 3 months ago, we have seen each other during this time, We’ve also had intimacy ( I know dumb on my part). Point is, he is talking to another girl who is very young. I believe she is 16 and we are both 21. I pin pointed the age because to me she seems like a very immature girl. ( Could that Work to my advantage?) Also he never mentions her when he is with me, he says he still has feelings for me but is very unsure. I always fail trying to do no contact because he sometimes shows unexpectedly at my house while I am home alone. Or he shows up at the bus stop, and gives me a ride to school. He tells me he is very confused, and doesn’t want to let go. Even though on social media he “seems” Serious with the other girl. ( I haven’t stalked his fb, this is what friends tell me). Also when I stop contacting him he starts being a text gnat, he calls, messages, leaves voicemails. I am just very confused with what he wants, and I don’t really want to bother him. Even though he is always the first one to initiate contact. What should I do? Thanks <3
GalaxyE
March 16, 2016 at 1:13 am
We were together for more than 3 years, last six months was on and off, Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 1:40 pm
Hi,
I replied on your other comments. Were they piled over or it’s not visible? 🙁 But I’ll just paste them here okay and answer this latest comment too.
Hi Erika,
actually it’s better if we also refrain contact from the relatives.. but go ahead of course.. your relationship with his mom should be separate from this but as much as possible, don’t tell her something that you don’t want your ex to hear
Hi Layka,
did he say he’s really willig to work it out? If so, let him.. let him ake the effort.. if texts.. repy minimally at first..engage but make it short..be the one to end the convo
Okay, so now he has a new girlfriend but he’s putting more effort for you. Have you talked to him about this? That he has to be fair. Either leave the other girl or stop stringing you along.