Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Confused

    June 10, 2016 at 2:00 am

    Hi,
    I’m in a 3 yr relationship and 1 of it was a long distance. I’m now working in his city and he says he doesn’t see a future with me and he is very stressed with work. Our relationship is falling apart as work is stressful and demanding ( we both are jr doctors) and we kinda show it on each other. I have another year in his city and I can apply for a transfer back to my city after 1 year. We are currently living together in a house he bought( which he initially indented for our future together) but now, after living together, he is unsure of the future and says he doesn’t want to lead me on. I told him tht I still want to be with him and nt expecting a marriage anytime soon and if he still feels the same way after a year I will transfer back to my city and leave for good. I’ve invested so much to let this relationship go. My bf feels I deserve better and he feels he shld love me more and do more for me behe tell tht he doesn’t WANT to. Feeling are nt there as before. Im still optimistic in this relationship. Shld I start a NC rule? Or shld I be there for him and be with him now tht he is going thru a roughy patch.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2016 at 5:34 am

      Hi Confused,

      Are you still living together as of the moment? If yes, I think you did the right thing of telling him you’re not rushing to get married soon and then start to change your routine.. go out more with friends, be kind to him but don’t initiate a conversation with him.. if he does, be short and polite..That’s your limited contact for a month, and then after a month, slowly start to rebuild rapport again with him, have fun short conversations and then later on just spontaneously ask him out when you’re both at home.

  2. sara

    June 9, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    my ex boyfriend and i have a daughter together and have been dating almost 3 years. he broke up with me for another girl that he says he has real feelings for. he says she showed him love that i didn’t while him & i were together.. i feel like she is just a rebound. i don’t get how he can throw away 3 years for someone else.. of course i want to be with him so we can be a family. he broke up with me i have no contacted him since. he called me today and then texted me saying ‘just bc i let you go doesnt mean i wanted to.’ i didnt reply. i’m confused, do you think i still have a chance with him ? or should i move on.

  3. S

    June 9, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    Sorry there’s seems to have been a small error in my copying of the msg! I meant to say, that after the first day of our communication, that night he texted me saying “How are you feeling today?” and when I didn’t reply he messaged me 2 days later saying “So should I take it that you do not want to talk to me?”… and the story is correct from there!
    Thanks 🙂
    S

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 11:14 am

      Hi S,

      did you talk to him or continued in nc?

  4. S

    June 9, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Hi Chris!
    I broke up with my boyfriend 11 days ago and have gone ahead with no contact for 8 days now. Here is why I didn’t start straight away: he contacted me on the very first day after our breakup saying “Hey, everything okay?”. I didn’t reply that night as I didn’t feel like responding but he sent me another msg at 1 in the morning; “S??”, and then, when I still hadn’t replied he sent another msg the following day again checking if I was okay and saying that he thinks “things may have gotten a little out of hand”. I thought about it and decided to reply to that since I wanted to know what exactly he thought had gotten out of hand (we didn’t have a huge yelling match or anything so I was curious). Turns out he wanted to know what I thought about how it all went down – I told him I was glad he had been honest with me about his feelings – and he then apologised for being in an irate mood at the time, at which point I ended the contact by not replying (I didn’t want to continue talking). That same night he texted me again saying; “So should I take it that you do not want to talk to me?”, and, obviously, I stayed quiet! Exactly a week later he messaged me again (yesterday in fact) asking; “So there’s no way to talk this through?”. I was tempted to respond but realised that this wasn’t him saying directly ‘I want you back’, so I stopped myself. However, that afternoon (around 1 o clock) he texted me again saying that he is confused and wondering if there was some way to “talk things through”. This sounds to me like he is looking for a reconciliation in the hope of getting back together again with me. I’m not sure how to respond or if these msgs mean I can respond? Are they equivalent to him saying he wants me back or should I wait for something more direct?
    P.S. our relationship was a very good one; he often told me he thought I was ‘perfect’ (with genuine feeling) and the majority of our time together was very positive (there were a few hiccups but nothing major). I broke up with him after I opened up to him about something very important to me that I need in a relationship and he basically said he would not provide that and it made him uncertain about our relationship (btw, what I was asking for – and I stated this to him explicitly – was understanding and sensitivity in a certain area that I have had bad experiences in and am still recovering from). We were dating for about 4 weeks and together in an official relationship for only about 2 before this happened…! The way it happened was more like a mutual breakup except I was the first one to go ahead and actually say that I didn’t think it was gonna work and we should end things now.
    What do you think is the right move in this situation? I would love to make steps towards another relationship with him as we were so well suited on so many levels! But I can’t quite decipher what he means by wanting to talk things through…? And whether I should respond.
    Thanks so much for your time!
    Kind regards,
    S

  5. Swati

    June 9, 2016 at 8:50 am

    Hi…i am stuck in a relation from 2 years…he is very uncommitted person..although he loves me and ne too…we are regulary callling an texting…he has some family issues since last year and dosent give time..he promises to meet but cancels at end and always misses when i need him…kindly guide for no contact rule…after fight he says sorry then hurt again…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 9:57 am

      Hi Swati,

      but you’re still tigether right?

  6. Melissa

    June 8, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    I was 6 days into no contact and I bumped into my ex – not on purpose. The interaction was overall fine, but we did have awkward relationship talk. I expressed that I had been starting to feel like he made the right decision in ending our relationship…that we did have problems. He expressed that he think he might have made a mistake. Then we shifted to updating on the past week before our 4 blocks of moving in the same direction ended. He hugged me for a LONG time before we parted, and he kept telling me how good I looked, so I was encouraged about the prospect of us being able to possibly get back together. Do I need to restart my 30 days, or can I just resume?

    A little background on the relationship. We had been together for just over 6 months. Everything was going well and moving fast. He lost his job about 3 months in, and slowly moved deeper into depression through the last 3 months of our relationship. He broke up with me with no warning and no discussion of a problem between us, and I suspect (and he has said) that he did it because he was feeling so much shame from being unemployed. 3 weeks after continuing to talk, he started a new job and wanted to get dinner with me. He expressed that he still wasn’t sure how he felt – whether or not there was a problem with us or if it was how he had been feeling. That continued with us sort of dating (no sex, though) for a couple of weeks before I got upset and told him to stop contacting me because I needed to start to heal and move on. Then 6 days later, I ran into on my way to an appointment near his work (so I also fear I looked a bit nuts…I was on his turf, but it was unavoidable).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 9:04 am

      Hi Melissa,

      yeah.. because you talked about the relationship.. but your interaction was a giod sign

  7. Liza

    June 8, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Hi! I’m so confused. He’s not my ex, but I hope, you can get the situation clear for me, because it’s so similar to “mind games”. We go together to gym. The conversation is great, we always laugh, we can talk seriously. Sometimes I catch his hot look at my ass (sorry for that:)), or he can even swat if I said a joke. He invented nickname for me, sometimes he makes fun of me, sometimes gets jealous (true or fake, I can’t understand). But it happens while we are in real contact. In the internet he doesn’t text me first. He doesn’t call me with a phone or call me to a walk. And I don’t understand, is he like me or is it just friendly flirt? How can I just understand?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 3:34 am

      Hi Liza,

      if he’s like that with other women too and he’s not pursuing you, it looks like he’s just flirty.

  8. Sharshallay

    June 8, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Hi Amor,
    I was together with my ex-boyfriend for three weeks; although he’d told me he was scared of getting in a relationship in the beginning because he was still traumatised from a previous relationship, he wanted to make it official so I agreed. I thought it was going very well and things were very intense and beautiful although we tried to take things slowly. Then he started getting anxious and said he doesn’t really know me well and is afraid of it getting more intense because we would end up hurting each other more in the long run if it progresses. He said that although there was nothing wrong in the relationship, that he couldn’t be in it because he felt he was not himself and was just unable to let go of his defences and could not trust – basically a lot of anxiety leading him to a literal panic and then he broke up with me. As I said, we were only together for three weeks. He also told me he would like to get to know me better before he can commit. Should I follow the NC rule anyway? Even if the relationship was so short?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Hi Sharshallay,

      you can only do a week at most and then after that I think you shouldn’t initiate contact for a month..but respond if he does and then end in high point while improving yourself

  9. MJ

    June 7, 2016 at 6:29 am

    The girl I love has blocked me on whatsapp, viber, and deleted me off skype. She’s not my gf but we were getting close and we had a fight and it led to this. For months we have been planning summer, and she said we can date for the whole time. She lives in Europe and I’m in North America. I said I’ll move there and she was happy and asked me to live with her and I agreed. She told me she had something to tell me about how she felt when I got there and kept asking if I was staying here etc. She said she was applying for jobs here and was always flirty and seemed attracted to me when we talked. Than two weeks before our fight she went cold and quite and I got a bit annoyed as she kept changing her plans. She asked if I had feelings for her and said its not good or bad and didn’t explain. So I got upset and she said were just friends and I quite angry and said I can’t do this and we had an explosive argument. She was my best friend too. She said its over. Each go our different ways, me and you are done. She said it many times. After the fight said we’ll talk in a few days so I texted and she said its over and she put a pic of her and a guy on whatsapp which I’ve never seen her with a guy. It was pretty immature. Will NC work for this? I don’t get how someone can do that. I was always good to her and felt used. We can talk forever and love being close to each other. I know I made her happy but felt some guy came into her life recently. Is there anyway I can fix this? I miss her

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 7:50 am

      HI MJ,

      you have no choice but to do nc because she blocked you.. are you in nc now? how did you meet?

  10. amy

    June 6, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    Hi EBR Team,

    My ex and I officially broke up about 2 months ago, but until last week we were still in contact / kind of dating again. Last week we decided to implement no contact, we did have good moments but we also still argued a lot. I think ‘dating’ made it a lot harder as neither of us knew where the boundaries were.

    A week on, I already feel like I’m getting perspective on the relationship / why we broke up. We were together for nearly 2 years, we had so many amazing times, we are incredibly compatible and have some wonderful memories together. I moved back out here from the UK and that brought lots of stress to our relationship, with visa and job issues, living with her parents, etc.

    The past week has been very up and down, she drunk called me the night we decided to end the contact and we text a little after that. The conversations we’ve had have been very positive, we’re both really sad and apologetic that this is what it’s come to.

    I caved last night and called her after not speaking for a week – it was so good to speak to her and we were both very emotional, but also happy to talk to each other.

    I’m going to start the NC from today, and I’m starting to hope that we do end up getting back together. We had an amazing relationship at one point, and now that we’re taking a step back i’m starting to see where we went wrong, and how we could put things right (we were too co-dependent).

    I also don’t want to get my hopes up as towards the end of the relationship things obviously weren’t great (hence why we broke up) but I really do love her, she was such a good friend to me as well as being my girlfriend.

    What are your thoughts? Please be as honest as you feel!

    Thank you so much in advance. Your wisdom is so appreciated.

    Amy

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 7:40 am

      HI Amy,

      how are you now?

  11. Ashley

    June 6, 2016 at 4:18 am

    Hi – I’ve been in tumultuous off/on relationship and I have found the NC rule really tough for both of us – but I am ready to try again! I really need to heal. However, we have mutual friends and we all hang out sometimes. What happens if I see him during the 30 days?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 6:12 am

      HI Ashley,

      can you try to hang out with your friends separately from him? or if you can’t, you have to be distant from him and avoid starting a conversation and be politely short with your replies

  12. Cara

    June 5, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Hi,
    I am super confused and in desperate need for help. My ex asked me out after i had implemented a 21 day no contact rule, post him texting me. I did the no contact rule after his text because he had a pattern of texting me, asking me out, and then not setting up an actual date. (I should mention that I call him my ex, but he never made me an official girlfriend while we dated.) After the 21 says he asked me out on a date after we had not seen each other for a long time (6 months) but we had been keeping in contact by text sporadically. The week before the date, was V day and he sent me a text wishing me Happy V day with kissy face emoticon. The date was a week later and during the date he was the biggest jerk to me. He was the polar opposite of his charming and attentive self in all of our dating. He was looking around the restaurant at other women, and a beautiful woman walked in and he made sure he I noticed he was checking her out. During our convo, he said some unexpected and mean things that caught me off guard and I had not much time to think. He stated that he enjoyed our time together and enjoyed my company, and there wasn’t enough emotional intimacy which is BS cause he ended the relationship after us dating for only 2 1/2 months by ghosting me and/or doing the fade away where he acted really busy with work. When I asked him what he meant, he said “there was no I love you’s” which again was BS cause he pulled away and I feel kept me at arm’s length . I kept my composure while he said all this to me. After his initial fade away, about 4 months passed and he sent me a FB request and we dated again briefly in which I tried to be more challenging to him using Chris’ principles. But it didn’t seem like he worked harder to nail me down or make a commitment. Since our last date where he was basically rude to me, I texted him a month later asking about a subject he has expertise in and he replied favorably. I texted again to ask him out, which my reason was to tell him my side of what happened and that I think what he said to me last time was BS. First he said sure, then when I tried to nail down a date, he left me hanging and never replied to that text.
    (Here is some extra background info: We were set up by a mutual friend of mine. In the last year, she has been always the one to bring up his name, and it always correlated with 1 or 2 days when he would text me. I quickly figured out that he was using her to get information about me and find out what I said to her. He has asked me about 4 times in the last year if I was dating anyone or of I had a boyfriend. I believe he has her spying on me for him and what he doesn’t know is that she talks badly about him and calls him a “dog” or “player” and is opposed to me dating him again. So I’ve kept it to myself and believe she is playing both sides but I don’t know what she’s saying to him about me . I also think that he got the idea to use her from the ex girlfriend recovery site. Last time, I saw her last month she deliberately and meanly told me that he last texted her and he mentioned that he dated someone else for 3 months. Then she paused to watch my reaction. They both think I’m not onto them and let me tell you, it has been very hurtful . I think the idea of involving a friend on the other recovery site does not work all the time if the friend is interested in sabotaging your relationship. )
    So, it has been 2 long months since i last texted him and he left me hanging. I KNOW he still has me on a FB notification and he watches what I post, etc. Our no contact periods go longer than 30 days. I still want him back and believe he’s a better person than how he treated me last time. I did purchase the program, but I am at a loss . Why did he bother sending me the Valentines text or bother asking me out at all if he was going to be a jerk on the date? What do I do at this point since I’m the last person who texted and embarrassingly asked him to meet up which he ignored? (he left it at the high point of the text) .
    I’m not sure all is lost if he still has me on a FB notification?
    Please help.

    1. Cara

      June 6, 2016 at 2:41 am

      Also, during the 21 day no contact rule, whenever I was on Facebook, he would go on and start posting random stuff like 10 or 12 consecutive times in a row over 4 days…and he had not had any posts for 6 months. So I’m not sure if his reaction to the No contact rule was anger? It seems like the NC rule backfired on me?

    2. Cara

      June 6, 2016 at 1:17 am

      I should add that while he initially made it so we were bf/gf… on our second date he asked if we could only date each other exclusively.

  13. B

    June 5, 2016 at 4:49 am

    Hi,

    I ended things with a guy in April and went no contact. I successfully did a month and he sent me a random snap chat to let me know he was attending the same event that was coming up. Since he didn’t formally invite me, I waited until the next morning to open it (since it was sent late at night) but didn’t respond. Since then (4 weeks) each week he sends a snap of something random, and I don’t really engage because I’m looking for something more concrete form him. That being said, should I be direct and ask him the purpose of these snaps, actually engage or should I just keep ignoring him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 4:18 am

      Hi B,

      nope that would be confronting him.. if you want to build rapport and reply and end the conversation in high note.

  14. Victoria

    June 4, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    The big argument was: we were lying down next to each other on the couch and he was on his phone. I glanced over saw a woman asked who that was…no answer. Then I saw he was texting another woman and I asked again…no answer. He didn’t answer and that’s what provoked me. Anyways, for that reason he didn’t want to pursue the relationship because he said it was an invasion of his privacy. He didn’t tell me this to my face he waited until I was on the plane far away from him(long distance relationship) and I was crushed. I tried to not speak to him 3x and the reason why is because out of nowhere he would blame me for it not working out. He wouldn’t forgive he would just always bring it up. Another thing he would always bring up is when we were intimate. It was getting uncomfortable for me it was a huge disconnect because love and sex go hand in hand for me. This means I didn’t want to talk about that with a “friend”. I had lost my virginity with this guy I guess that’s why he would always bring it up? Anyways, he just couldn’t get over my “indiscretions” since it was always about me and he didn’t do anything wrong…ever (not). Now I realize it was just emotional manipulation and I when I called him out on his nonsense he didn’t like it one bit and became meaner every time. The last time he sent me a stupid meme and I responded with another meme calling him out again. He had some words and said “I will make sure we are friends and never call you any nicknames or flirt”. Proving my point when I told him we were never friends. That was the last time we had any communication was in March. Anyways, the point is on his birthday last Sunday he Whatsapp’d me saying “I know we haven’t spoken in a minute, hope you are well”. Then he sent another message “I sent you a message, hope you are well”. Does he really care? Or does he just want to start tormenting me again?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 3:41 am

      Hi Victoria,
      let’s say he does care, but him tormenting you, depends on your decision.. If you will you’re being used, walk away.. if you keep allowing it, then you’re allowing him to torment you.

  15. Nani

    June 4, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    Hi,
    I comment one another article recently and em received and answer so thank you for that. But in a nutshell regarding my situation my ex broke up with me because he admitted that he wasn’t ready for long distance since I’ll be leaving for school for months at a time. We’ve spoken over text and seen each other a couple times. But since then I started the no contact period. A few days after he broke up with me I blocked him on social media because I was making it worse for myself. Now considering the no contact period should I unblock him? Or leave it as is until I contact him for the first time after the no contact period has ended?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 3:35 am

      Hi Nani,

      if it doesn’t help you when you unblock him, it’s ok to keep it like that until after nc.

  16. Stephanie

    June 4, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    Why does my ex constantly say to me that he never loved me or wanted to be with me and that we’re never getting back together when I don’t say anything about it? I did the the no contact and in some of his messages to me he said “we’re never getting back together so why don’t you just talk to me?” Also after no contact he contacted me one night and emotionally opened up over the phone but still stated the above with no push from me. This was after he posted an interesting meme and I posted something positive happening in my life.. It’s so confusing. We’ve been together for 4 years, have 2 kids and one on the way! He’s had his rebound relationship that’s ended BUT they still see each other. We’re long distance too. I’m patiently waiting for the coaching list to come out I really need this more than anything right now.. I’m considering doing another no contact period right now as he keeps reiterating the above. What should I do? NC again after our phone conversation that shouldn’t have happened or continue with the game plan?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 3:26 am

      Hi Stephanie,

      I think you should do another limited nc and continue the activities you did during nc when you’re done with nc.. YOu have to keep improving yourself, for yourself and so, that you can heal more while he sees that you’re having your own life, you appear less of a responsibility for him but also.. with what you said, you have to think about if you really want him back.. You have a baby on the way, and yet he’s still seeing another girl?

  17. Lost

    June 4, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me about a week ago. We had often talked about our future together (when we’d get married, where we’d live, how many kids, etc) and had done that since our 1 year anniversary. He said he wasn’t happy lately and was doubting if we could be happy together. He said that he didn’t know if it was the right decision, but he thought it was. We talked a bit every day this week, as he said he wanted to be honest with where his mind was at. Looking back, that was probably a bad idea. 2 days ago, I asked if we could meet (also a bad decision) and he said does think it was the right thing. I’m thinking now that us talking every day and me trying to convince him probably just pushed him more towards thinking that, and that maybe he wouldn’t have if I had given him space. We’re now doing no contact, and I’m wondering if maybe we both just need some time apart to think and a new perspective and that things can work out.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 3:20 am

      Hi Lost,

      what was the reason of the breakup?

  18. Lily

    June 2, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    Hi,
    I really need your advice! So my BF and I officially broke up 16 days ago. It was him who broke up with me. I’ve adopted the NC rule ever since and now I’m on the 16th day. But it seems like he doesn’t care at all as he didn’t write, message or call me. Well let me explain a bit about our situation. Since January, we had several times of on and off again. It was also him who broke up with me those time but I explained to him how much I love him and tried convincing him to re-think by reminding him of the good memories and difficulties we’ve been through together. Then he said he would think about it and then few days after that he asked me out and texted me but of course his attitude was a bit different. It’s been 2-3 times like that before our official break up. He gave me a few reasons which really confused me. We used to be very happy in the past and he always loved me madly and deeply for the past 5 years (yes we had a 5 year love). But now he is saying that he no longer has feelings for me, he doesn’t love me anymore, we are not a good match, etc. I know that I have flaws and I made him sad sometimes but I don’t think it’s the only reason. I am not sure if he has a new girl on his mind already but he is surrounded by a lot of single female colleagues. On the day that we officially broke up, he said that though he didn’t love me anymore but the “feeling” he has for me has been always the same…we would remain as good friends and he would always be there for me whenever I need him…hope that someone else would truly love and take care of “his Pooh” (he used to call me Winnie the Pooh :p) I explained to him but he didn’t listen to me this time so I just said goodbye to him. About 1 week prior to our official break up, he blocked me on Facebook as I posted some sad statuses. Then 3-4 days after the break up, he unblocked me but of course he didn’t add me again. Well but his brother is in my friend list on Facebook. Can you tell if I have a chance of getting him back? I was so confident on day 10 but now it’s already half way there and still no sign from him. And what should I do if he still doesn’t contact me after the NC period? He was always so nice to me, my family and friends. We had a really great time. I really love him and don’t want to lose him. Please help! Thank you so much 🙂

    1. Lily

      June 24, 2016 at 3:17 pm

      Yes thanks for your advice! It was ok for the first few days. I’ve got positive responses from him but he just started being cold again. His reply was really slow (few hours) and sometimes he saw my messages but didn’t reply to it. What can I do to improve our relationship?

    2. Lily

      June 17, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      It’s me again. so he just randomly texted me 2 days ago. We had very short conversation then I ended the conversation first. What should I do now? Re-starting NC, text him more (but not a GNAT of course) or wait for him to text me?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 7:47 am

      You can slowly start building rapport with him now

    4. Lily

      June 15, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thanks for replying to me. Yeah only this year and he started his job since end of last year. Some news lately… When I was on day 21th, he messaged me and called me but I didn’t react. He continued again the next day and I picked up the phone (not sure if it was a wise decision). He was asking questions like if I met someone else and also told me that my new hairstyle looked nice (yep I improved myself during NC and took advantage of social media network, thanks for the tips!). Then two days passed and he asked me out on a date (I said I would think about it and only said YES the day after). We had a small date at a restaurant. He then asked if I’d like to go to the cinema but the tickets were sold out so we ended the date there. After the date, I texted him saying that I had a great time then ended the conversation after a few more texts. It’s been a week now since our “first date” and again no contact from him. I know he still looks at my Facebook profile and also the app for couple which we used a lot in the past. Do I still have my chance?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Hi Lily,

      you had long term relationship. You had multiple breakups but only this year right? Is he new in his work? Do you think it got boring for him?

  19. Barbie

    June 2, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    Hi, I’m currently using the no contact rule. My boyfriend broke up with me about a little more than a week ago after a year together. He has not called or contacted me since. Nor have I contacted him. I’m guessing he’s also using the no contact rule.

    Before all of this happened we lived together for 9 months in another city in our homestate. We moved back to our hometown because he got a new job. Thing is he moved to his parents house and me to my parents house. I didn’t want this but he says he wanted to save money to buy a new home and because he had to temporarily (2 months) move to another state to train for his new job. Everything started falling apart since the announcement of his new job and his plans to move into his parents house. That was 5 months ago. I didn’t want to move anywhere without him. I understood he had to go to training. What I didn’t understand is why we had to live apart after he got back from training.

    He broke up with me 1 month after moving into his parents. A week before leaving for training. At first, almost 2 weeks after we moved, he just wanted time away. I wasn’t contacting him during the “time away”. Except for one “I miss you text”. He would call me and I answered him. He would tell me he loved me and he misses me and he wants to see me. Then we saw each other and he asked for more time away. I text him with I miss him, he replied the same. After that text I tried to make no contact and we didn’t speak or text for several days. He called me again and he eventually broke it off because we argued about the time away situation among other things. We had been arguing for months about the same things. He is now living where he is training. I have not heard from him. No calls, text or email. Nor have I contacted him.

    I guess what I want to know is if he hasn’t contacted me so far does that mean I can’t contact him at all.? I’m confused. I know he checks his facebook to stalk me. I know this because he’s not a fb, social media kind of person and I see him log on more often than ever. I’ve attempted to post “fun photos” to get his attention. He still hasn’t contacted me. Its been a little over a week since we last spoke. Do you think he perhaps has implemented the no contact rule as well? He did say he we would speak after he finishes training, thats 2 months. I didn’t take that seriously.

    Thanks for your time
    Barbie

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 6:23 am

      Hi Barbie

      I think you can just do 21 days.. if he texts 7 times a day positively or calls or a combination of both, you can break nc or if he tells you he wants to get back with you but other than that you should finish nc

  20. maria oliva

    June 1, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me on may 1st after and argument where I was very emotional and just pushed and pushed, said alot of things that i didnt mean until he finally broke up with me. I begged him to make it work I asked him for a month to show him that i truly cared and I could be exactly what he was looking for. that time didnt go well he told me he was doing it for my sake that he had already made a decision and that he dint love me and there was nothing I could do. The ironic part is we have been together for 3 years and each year around the same time he dumps me has his fun and then we get back together but it seems like the pattern repeats. I love him I do and I want him back but i dont want the pattern to keep repeating. I have initiated the no contact rule, never done that before, always stuck around. we really were great together, our biggest problem was that i felt he was cold at times and when i tried to explain to him he thought i was “bitching” what is your advice do you think there is a chance??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 3:33 am

      Hi Maria oliva,

      what’s with the same time every year? What’s the event? That’s good that you started nc this time.. And this time focus on having your own routine and improving yourself. This time, try to have your own life.. I’m not saying you don’t but of course you don’t have the activities that you will make you improve this time and will make you busy.. when you keep improving in your own life, that’s when you become interesting for others.

1 35 36 37 38 39 128