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6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Pinktie

    October 21, 2016 at 3:55 am

    My bf and i broke up over 2weeks ago. We are living together for 9years. He kepts saying that he wants to focus his time and himself with his parents(having financial crisis right now). He said that his goals and priorities have changed. He was tired of arguing,he was not happy.he kepts on saying that he is not the best person for me that he cannot give all that i want eventhough im not asking for anything..he keeps on pushing me away telling that i can find another man worth it of me..i really cried for him and jeep on begging him thay we can talk about it and fix it but he says that the past and problems are done we dont need to talk about it again and again.all he wanted right now is to really break up with me. I really acted so needy coz i really dont want us to break the relationship that i really want him in jy life after all those years….Though this scenario happende also last april,july we fight we argue and and get fix..he always told me that we should enfld this but im begging him again crying so hard and then after a.moment he will be the one to tell me that im sorry this is not really what he want that he dont want to loose me that he loves me…then everything will be ok again..last sept 19 this happens again..we come to apoint that we finally agreed to end the relationship..then the following day again..he was the one who cried saying sorry will i give him another chance to come back that he will do his best again for me etc etc..then the worst case scenario happend last october 8 i found out that he is communicating with his officemate who is 10years youger than ours (in a 1year realtionship).he told me that he feel in love with the girl because she appreciated him she believes in his strenghts and character..but he knows its impossible to have a relationship with her because she has a bf.he texted me the following day if we can talk.he told me he talked to the girl and they both decided to end things.but tuen he told me that he really wanted me to let him go so that he wont hurt me again,he is not the best man for me,he cannot give me evrything that iwant though i never ask for more..that i deserve someone better than him.after all of this scenario and arguments fights challenges and problems.i still want ck in my life and im willing to do everything to be with him.what advice can you give me..will the no contact thing can help us or him to still fix the realtionship? Thank you

    1. jinna

      November 8, 2016 at 11:04 pm

      ?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 9, 2016 at 6:43 am

      that’s ok.. At least you didnt reply.. Make the most of the remaining days for yourself instead of worrying about him

    3. Pinktie

      October 23, 2016 at 7:03 am

      After 3 days of no contact..my friend texted him that im not feeling well,that i have a fever and body ache.immediately my ex texted me be well and be strong please..but i didnt reply..do i need to restart tge no contact rule or just continue?thanks

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      because you didnt reply, just continue it

    5. Pinktie

      October 21, 2016 at 3:57 am

      Sorry its not 9years..its 13years..we already had this break up thing on or 6th years in relationship.

  2. Marianne

    October 21, 2016 at 3:47 am

    Hi!

    When we started years ago we were on an exclusively dating status then he ghosted me. So I moved on. It was about more than 6 months when he came back. We became friends again and again, went on being on mutually understanding status. This went on on another year. But recently, he ghosted me again and after 3 weeks, he messaged me if we could meet. No malice in mind, I agreed. In that meeting, he said he was confused with our status and that he was seeing someone. He also said that it felt like cheating that’s why he wanted to clarify things. For me, since we were not in a commitment, I understand that’s why I said it was okay. But during the conversation, he was raising issues that it would have been okay if he’d meet my parents first, etc. I said that it is pointless to raise it if he is already moving forward. After that, we haven’t been in contact. It’s been a month already wherein there’s a part of him that I miss but probably just the idea of having someone. But there’s also a part of me wherein, it’s okay that he’s not there. I recently unfollowed, placed him on restricted list and even hide him in my FB chat to close all connections. But we have a planned trip together this coming November. I intend to consider this trip as a solo since we’re not together. But I don’t know if he’s coming. (I hope he doesn’t).

    I just need some different perspective. Thanks!

    1. Marianne

      October 25, 2016 at 2:27 am

      I messaged him after the no contact period to confirm if he’s going because I’m inviting over a guy friend. He replied that he will no longer push through and it’s fine. I’ve had an after thought and no longer pushed through with inviting my other guy friend to pursue this trip as a self-fulfillment.
      I have another question. I have a gut feel that after x-months, what if he comes back then we’ll start as friends again and the same cycle goes on again. My friends tell me I should no longer contact him since he is no good anyway.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 26, 2016 at 1:48 pm

      If the cycle repeats, of course you have to break up after that.. It would be your choice if you still want to continue, but if you can see that nothing is changing, it would be best to move on.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 22, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      hi Marianne,

      I agree that you should move on from him.. if you can go on the trip solo, go but if you see him there, just be civil..

  3. Laura

    October 20, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    I’ve not seen my boyfriend for two months since he said we should break up – I didn’t want to so technically haven’t broken up. He said his depression was affecting him and that he wasn’t sure how he felt about me anymore, since then we’ve been talking a little – always me initiating and me trying to call him – I managed to call him once.
    I tried doing NC but impulsively called him with no response. He didn’t reply to my last message either.
    Now, do I re-start the NC? Thanks for your advice!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 22, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      hi laura,

      yes, you have to restart nc

  4. SV

    October 19, 2016 at 4:33 am

    So, my boyfriend and I broke up over a week ago. And I was very devastated. He kept saying how he didn’t want the responsibility of a relationship. And how he was so tired of us arguing. He was being a jerk about it (or maybe just a fed up guy). A few days I cried for him to give us another chance; I pretty much acted needy. We had been off and on for 6 years. Yes I know…how stupid of me to act. But hey, I got myself together. I am now embracing this new journey. I attempted the No Contact Rule and had been doing pretty well. So, I sent my ex an apology email before I initiated the No Contact Rule. This email was composed after days of me soul searching and finding my inner peace and strength. I did not compose it off of intense emotions. The email was very mature and definitely portrayed how strong I am and how independent I can be. In a nutshell, the email was basically me owning up to all of my actions that contributed to what we had gone through. And me portraying how excited I am to embrace this new journey, which I am, now. I mentioned nothing about us getting back together or anything of that nature. So here I am three days in on the NC Rule, and he texts me to reply to my email, saying how he loves me and how he was speechless. He also said that he’d be better and kept saying how he appreciated me, and how the email made his heart smile. I tried to cut the conversation short. And even left my phone unattended for about two hours, only to return with him sending other messages wondering why I was taking so long. We talked for about an hour about some business ideas that we had discussed awhile ago when we were a couple. And that was pretty much it. What kind of sign is this? Should I re-initiate (re-start) the No Contact Rule? Is he like friend-zoning me? I’m confused as to which way to go now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 20, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      Hi SV,

      the more you redo the no contact rule, the less it can help you.. so, if you do it, stick to it.. He’s used to talking to you, so it’s normal that he will keep trying to do that.. and yes, if you keep doing it, you might end up being friendzoned.

  5. Ansley

    October 18, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Is it best to go cold turkey when beginning the no contact rule or to let them know you need a little space after things ended? Thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 18, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Hi ansley,

      in your case, it’s better to go cold turkey than be friendzoned…

  6. Ansley

    October 17, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Just came across this site. My ex ended things earlier today after 3 or so months of dating saying he’s just not emotionally available for an exclusive relationship right now. Says he wants to still be able to hang out/be friends. Since we started dating, we have texted/talked almost daily. About to begin no contact, but worried that if he initiates a text (even something a simple as good morning which is something we’ve done daily since the beginning) me not responding with a good morning will seem rude. Please help!

  7. Kelsey

    October 16, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    Will NCwork on a guy that broke up with me because “he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.” I believe there were a lot of factors involved in his decision . I tied to talk him out of it for two weeks after and I am now two weeks into NC) (4weeks since break up). There has been no word from him so far .

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 18, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      Hi Kelsey,

      It’s not a guarantee..but if he doesnt want a serious relationship, then avoid convincing him again.. be less available and aim to be the ungettable girl..check this one:
      The Ungettable Girl

  8. Namjoon

    October 16, 2016 at 7:12 am

    I’ve been with my ex girlfriend for 5 years. We broke up this year in April because she of our constant arguing fighting. She’s been in a relationship with her best friend since April. I’m lost because she still wants to talk to me to see if I changed. Says she content with her but not happy because she still loves me. She told me she’s confused. I did everything wrong because I should of lost all communication with her when she broke up with me in April but I didn’t. I do all love her reasons why it hurts to stop contacting her. I want to hear her voice being we are 6 hrs away. She moved back home. I do want her back but it make things harder when she not in my city anymore. She did leave some of her belongings with me. The rest is at friends because we wasn’t staying together before she left. We had a huge fight and she moved out a month before she left back to her hometown. Please help! I don’t know if I should fight for her or just back away. She contacts me to talk or see if we can fix our relationship. The thought of still with someone kills me and it doesn’t feel right to speak with her when she hasn’t left the best friend. I feel like a back up option. She swears thats not the case she just want to make sure I’ve changed we don’t argue like we used to before she thinks about coming back. What should I do?

    1. Namjoon

      October 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      I don’t believe the bf knows she’s saying them things to me. Of course we talk when she not around him but she texts me around him so she says. I told her the same thing she has to figure out what she wants and if she wants him I will walk away. I’m not going to be friend zoned or her back up plan. She recently just told me it’s a lose lose for her. I just don’t get it this guy has been her best friend for 10 years never asked her out until our relationship went crashing down. She knows I’m not being friends if we can’t fix our problems. She told our mutual friend she doesn’t know if the best friend will still be around if she leaves and come back to me. Just her texting me it’s a lose lose for her. Let’s me know she has more feelings toward the best friend than me. I haven’t contacted her since she texted me that a couple days ago. It hurt me to my core to see that text plus she’s been giving me the hot and cold behavior also. Like my dude Clay Andrew’s say it’s called Riding the Dragon. One minute she wants to talk more to see that I’ve changed the next I’m getting mixed signals. I’M so lost. Right now she’s telling me she’s confused doesn’t know what to think or do about our situation. She’s not coming back if I don’t change because she doesn’t want to fight and argue every day….which makes sense in a way. She says it feels good to be appreciated and treated well but when I ask if she’s happy. She says how can she be if she still loves me. We are facebook friends and I’m in the process of dating meeting new people. My ex gets jealous and it bothers her because she told me I’m treating them better than her. We been apart for 6 months I just feel in my heart if she loved me she would come back to fix our relationship. I have messed up a lot by not appreciating her more and treating her the way she should be treated. I also grew up alot and have changed but I feel my situation with her is now hopeless if she doesn’t come back for me to show her.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      Hi Namjoon,
      no matter what she says, she’s being unfair to you and her current bf.. does the current bf know she’s saying that to you?

      Her moves are selfish.. if you dont change according to her liking, she still has a bf and if you do change, she’ll just dump the other guy and jump back to you..

      That’s not real love.. She’s just afraid of being alone.. Try to ask her too when she “checks” up on you. Ask her when she could stand up on her own and be without a guy and to stop using her current bf.. She’ll probably get angry but that’s the truth..

      Try being your best self and go out, date or just be with friends and just ignore her..not for the sake of nc but for the sake of taking your power back.. Stop reporting back to her like she’s your warden…

      Honestly, for me if you should move on..but if you really want another chance of a relationship..atleast make it balance..dont let her treat you like a back up plan.. if she wants to be with you.. she has to do the right thing by breaking up with her current bf

  9. Estelle

    October 15, 2016 at 3:05 am

    Quick question…
    I’ve been following this site since the breakup, and I’m so grateful for its existence and y’all’s dedication.
    Immediately after our breakup, I tried No Contact, but he called 12 times and texted twice on the 15th day. I finally answered, and he wanted to work on getting back together. But it was too soon to try, and we fell back into the same pattern. Therefore, we broke it off again (he broke it off again–bawling in the process), and I handled it really well and asked him not to contact me again unless absolutely imperative. Most difficult part about the breakup is that we love each other, but we broke up because he was not taking care of himself and was ignoring his anxiety/depression (stopped taking meds/never saw his recommended therapist).
    It’s been two weeks since the last breakup, and I have not contacted at all. He liked a picture of mine yesterday, which is really out of his character. My quick question (wow, this wasn’t quick) is: Should I continue the usage of NC? Are there any specific tips for this sort of breakup?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 4:29 am

      Hi Estelle,

      Yes, you should. You can’t control him so, the best you can do is to just keep improving yourself. Let’s hope he realizes what he needs to do or he will lose you if he doesn’t

  10. Luna

    October 14, 2016 at 8:24 pm

    I broke it off with my boyfriend of 5 years 3 weeks ago. I found he was sort of living this double life where he had an affair with a younger girl who didn’t know he had a girlfriend because he denied it. They’ve been dating and sleeping together for the past four months. Any trace of our relationship on his social media accounts were all gone when I checked on that fateful day. I don’t really do the whole social media thing so I really didn’t have any clue prior. When I confronted him about, he admitted to it and told me he fell out of love with me and he felt taken for granted in our relationship. I was so blindsided. I thought we were in great place in our relationship at the time, except that I was busy with work most of the time. I told him then I don’t want anything to do with him. This whole confrontation thing happened via text as we were both out of town on seperate business trips.

    5 days later he texted me if I wanted to talk. He told me he talked to the other woman and they’ve both decided to end things. I’m not sure if true because I don’t trust him anymore. He also said he wants to be single for the time being in order to find himself. Anyway, I refused as I was still reeling from the emotional trauma of it all. He then proceeded to block me on facebook but unblocked me a few days later. He also sent a random text one time saying he missed me but I didn’t reply.

    A week later he texted me if I wanted to talk again, I said yes. I felt ready at the time however just when we were about to meet, he texted me that something came up and that he’d be late. I decided to just call the whole thing off because I felt like he was with his other woman at the time and was caught off guard when I said I was ready to talk. Lol

    2 days ago he texted me twice if I still wanted to talk to him. I didn’t reply. Earlier today I got another text from asking the same question. He also said he’s wracked with so much guilt he wanted to be single for now. I really don’t know what he wants TBH.

    Anyway planning on doing this no contact thing for the next 30 days. Basically to move on and maybe to teach my ex a lesson as well. Probably give him a taste of what life is like without me even though he’s probably with the other girl. But I spent the entire relationship fixing things whenever we’d fight. It’s nice to get the upper hand for once.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 3:46 am

      Hi Luna,

      well, success is always the best revenge..so be active in improving yourself

  11. Jess

    October 14, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Should I be doing no contact? My ex of 3 years and I have gone maybe 3 days without speaking, and that’s including after the breakup 4 months ago. He’s never ignored me especially since I’ve always asked him not to cuz I would never do that to him. He’s msged me 3 times so far and the last msg was to ask if I was okay. I don’t want him to think I’m not okay or for him to worry and I don’t want it to backfire because he’s always caved and not ignored me. I’m scared this is going to make things worse. What should I do?? He’s a very temperamental person and I feel like he’s just going to say I’m a hypocrite for ignoring him.

    1. Jess

      October 14, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      We’ve been together for 3 years. We broke up due to fighting and accusations. There was cheating on his part in the past and it lead to me pushing him away with the attitude. He always said nothing he does makes me happy. We’re both 27. And I want to keep talking to him because what we had was so real. That man is the complete love of my life. There’s definitely fault on both sides for why the relationship failed. I did reply to him to say I was okay and for him to have a good weekend. I’ve gotten no response. I was feeling a little better not responding and now I feel right back to square 1. Now I’m thinking he won’t reach out again.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 3:26 am

      You need to restart the count.. focus in improving yourself… make the most of this no contact.. you only have a short time of only thinking about yourself only.. after no contact, you have to keep improving yourself while rebuilding rapport with him..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      Hi Jess,

      why did you break up? how long were you together? How old are you both? And why did you want to keep talking to him, even if you’ve already broken up?

  12. niti desai

    October 14, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    My ex bf has a fiance but was all the time with me after his engagement and regret it for doing it for his family.to make him jealous and for fast commitment i also lied him that even i have got fixed up with some other guy.now his family has tentatively found next months date i.e 22 nov for his wedding.what can i do to get him back and if i use no contact rule.wil he think that i am into fiance afake one tjat i have created in front of him.please suggest how to react and what to do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      Hi Niti,

      I hope you’ll read this one..

      You have to set a time limit on until when you wait because obviously he looks like he’s just making you wait for nothing..

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but first, you have to stop making it seem like you have a fiance.. And instead start improving and healing yourself doing the no contact rule. IF he sees, you’re always alone in your posts, then he will get the idea, that you’re not actually engaged.

  13. mikayla

    October 14, 2016 at 5:34 am

    so my boyfriend and i broke up a little over a month and a half ago. by the end of this month, it will mark two months. however, we are only on day 16 of no contact. it hasn’t been too hard. i’ve only come in close contact with him twice (he gave me a “bro” handshake once, & had a 2 min. conversation with me another time), so i didn’t really count those as contact because it was very short. other than that, we haven’t had a real conversation in 16 days. his birthday is coming up next week, and i’m not sure if i should wish him a happy birthday or not? it’s a week before our no contact ends. i’m not sure if i do it or not. he seems like he’s trying to get over me, and i’m over here giving up as well because i know his family strongly despises me and idk what our chances of getting back together is. i really wish we could rekindle the relationship, but he hasn’t tried reaching out.. i didn’t think there was much i could do, so i just focused on me, and realized that it helps me move on and recover a little better. i do love him, and i’d love to stay friends, but i don’t know how to do that exactly. he definitely mistreated and disregarded my feelings, so i want to show him what he’s missing. after our no contact, i don’t know whether i reach out or not. so my two questions are should i wish him a happy bday? will that help or affect our future relationship? and should i give up or keep trying? he’s been silent and i haven’t heard from him. i just want my feelings to stay protected

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 4:26 pm

      Hi Mikayla

      the most important thing you should do now is to improve yourself. So, I hope you’re being very active in that, because that helps in increasing your chances..And nope, don’t greet him.. check this one:
      EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

  14. Alexis

    October 13, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    I’m 16 and I lost my first love. We both hurt eachother in the past so the trust isn’t there. We have both begged in the past. But recently I just wanted him back I want to spend my life with him but there’s this other girl who he says he “loves” and when we were together he wouldn’t hug me in front of her and kept breaking up with me because of her. I know he doesn’t love her like he says . I don’t have money to pay for guides and text messages that I need to send . So I’m just lost and need help .

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      Hi Alexis,

      when did you break up, how long was the relationship and when did you last talked?

      He’s in a grass is greener syndrome.. Read this one:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

  15. Dee

    October 13, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    My boyfriend (and the love of my life) broke up with me 3 days ago over the phone. He said he couldn’t do long distance anymore. We had met in college and spent everyday together. When we graduated we both moved home (a couple hours apart). We would see each other about once a month, and it was fantastic. I love his family, and wonder if it’s okay to contact his parents to thank them for everything they have done for me. I did not expect this break up at all. He always talked about how I was perfect for him and about how we were going to get married some day. We always made plans for the future, about dogs, where we wanted to live, where we would vacation to, kids etc. I miss him so much and I just want to know what made him make such a sudden change. I am completely heartbroken and pretty resentful. I was hurt that he couldn’t tell me to my face. Thank you so much for any advice you can give me. I want him back in my life and I would do anything to be with him. I just found out someone very close to me is dying from cancer, and I told him all about it 3 days before he broke up with me. Now I’m left without my best friend and then only person I could ever talk to. I feel so alone and so vulnerable.

    Sincerely,

    – Heartbroken

    1. Dee

      October 13, 2016 at 9:44 pm

      I forgot to mention we had been together for 3 years.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Hi Dee,

      If you want to thank his parents, thank them before doing the no contact rule and you need to check this one:
      The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

  16. Robert

    October 13, 2016 at 5:17 am

    So, my girlfriend and i broke up almost two weeks ago. Since she left on a exchange program from her school (January 2015) we had lots or problems, regarding wether or not to stick to the relationship, or to pause it in the meantime and check on each other later. At the end we decided to pause it and agreed to still talk to each other. During the first month I didint like what I was feeling with that agreement so I told her and we agreed to suspend it. After the exchange program i went to visit her and travelled with her for over a month, in which she confessed dating a guy for a short while at the beginning but ending it not wanting to jeopardize what we had. That happened in the summer of last year and since returning I had a lot of trust issues with her, jealousy above all. Last February we broke up for like a week and decided to keep trying. And three months ago i decided to cut all the toxic attitudes from me and talked with her one last time about all these trust issues I had. But after that she became really rude with me and cold. A month ago she said she wanted to go to therapy since she was having some bad ideas, i got worried and pushed it too much which made her angry, she said it was something she didint feel like telling anyone since anyone including me, could judge her, and it could mean something that could potentialy hurt me. So now one day we got into a little fight and she told me how she cannot take these old impressions of me and that´s why shes being toxic. She described feeling so bad that after listening to her i told her that i completely understood her since being in the jealous period was the same for me, and told her that if she really felt that bad we could end our relationship after 4 and a half years, I told her that i wasnt what i wanted but that other than the facts from the last 3 months i couldnt do anything to changer her impressions, and she admitted that it’s her thing being so toxic upon that, and that it is not my fault or anything and that it´s something she just can´t take off from her, she told me she was really young and wasnt feeling ready for such a formal relationship, that she would like to feel free, and that it’s not like I´m stopping her from like doing her stuff, but that she restricts herself from doing things because she feels like I would disapprove. She told me that she might also want to meet more people, that we are so young (23 and 24) and that she loves me, that it’s not like she doenst want to be with me or that I’m doing something wrong, but that she doesnt want to have 30 and look behind and have regrest of doing many things with her life. She said she doesn’t want to end up in there with me and feel worse than now. We spoke the next day and for the rest of the week, she told me that she loves me, we kissed and she invited me and attempted to make plans for like in 1-2 weeks. Next day I saw her and asked her out and told me she couldn´t as an evasive, I told her that I felt like we were having something going on and she said she was really clear on the not being in a relationship no more, and that it hurt her and it was hard and that she was going to miss me but, that she felt it was something she had to do. So I felt like confused about her acting this way after being so close for the previous week after the breakup, I left and later we agreed to stop talking, I told her that I believed maybe that way she would miss me and see things differently and, we both agreed. Bot believen as well that it was out way not to jeopardize the posibility of being toghether in the future, she spoke of years perhaps, i spoke of weeks or months. I was feeling really bad throughout the whole conversation and was made a mess and it was at the end that when i told her that I loved her and farewell that she responded with I love you too and began to cry, after that I hung up.

    I then read about the no contact rule and decided not to talk with her, got into a gym and occupied myself the most that I can, I feel the urge to call her but haven´t dont it since 5 days ago. The thing is, we both agreed not to talk to each other, none of us has contated the other in any way, she only gave me a like on a thing from my work on fb. But thats it. I feel like I messed up by telling her that the no talking thing was a way for me to let her miss me and reevaluate. ( I did this before reading about the no contact).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 13, 2016 at 4:24 pm

      Hi Robert,
      Well, she doesn’t know for how long you’re going to do no contact and she probably doesn’t really expect you to not contact her for 30 days, so that’s ok that you mentioned it.. Just keep improving yourself. You’re doing a good job starting it right away.

  17. Vivien

    October 11, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    My Ex broke up with me two days ago because they said they couldn’t cope with all the stress in their life (family and work issues) as well as our relationship, I contacted them a few hours after they left which I know was a mistake. I know they didn’t want to break up with me- crying and hesitating upon leaving. I was thinking a 30 day no contact period would be best, is this ok and what if they don’t try to contact me because on of the reasons for ending it was “needing space”?

    1. Vivien

      October 13, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      He has contacted me since I posted this to say he was thinking about me and hoped I had a good day (which I ignored). We were only together for 2 months but things were going really well, he said he had never been happier, all his friends thought I was good for him etc.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      Hi Vivien,

      how long were you together? It’s ok if they don’t contact you during the no contact period, what’s more important is you improve yourself.. And if he needed space, then the more you should do the no contact rule.

  18. Jay

    October 11, 2016 at 2:18 am

    I just wanted to ask if buying the package and using the NC rule will work for me, my ex and I have been together for 3 years, broke up about 4 months ago due to him cheating and going through his own personal issues. In that time, we still talked, hung out at events went to a wedding together and still slept together. Everyone was saying we were still together but in our eyes we weren’t. At first he was trying to make things better, show that he was doing what he could even though we weren’t together. Then I started pushing with my accusations and questions, always grilling him about what he was doing and who he was with. He got more and more annoyed and would be less patient with his answers and replying to me or seeing me. Using the “we aren’t together’ line. He started going out more, distracting himself from his own problems and I kept making an issue. It got to a point where he said it wasn’t a good idea if we had sex because every time we did I would go crazy on him for days after. Always bringing up getting back together. Finally after the last time we hooked up he said that he needed me to hate him and to forget him so i could be okay. We still spoke a few days after and then I asked if he was hanging out with someone else because my gut was telling me he was with someone else at that moment. He said yes 🙁 I was devastated. I went crazy because I couldn’t believe it, even his mom and sister said that he was either just saying that or it couldn’t be serious. I asked him the next day if he was going to continue to see this girl, he said probably. Last night I reached out to him again telling him I would stop with pressuring him about a relationship and we could still hang out and hook up and learn how to enjoy each others company again without the craziness I bring. He said no and that he didnt believe I could do that without continuing the same behaviour and he couldn’t do this anymore. He said he was done and that he feels we shouldn’t be around each other and that we don’t work together because of all the fighting and things that have happened. I know he loves me and cares, I just feel like I’ve pushed him too far this time. Is my situation even salvageable? Will the no contact work? The times that I have pulled away he’s reached out with positive things, saying sorry and such. Im just in fear that this program won’t work for me and he will never reach out and is truly done with me…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 4:43 pm

      Hi Jay,

      it is big help but there’s not guarantee that it will help you get your ex back.. But I still think you need to do the no contact rule to help you and him have a restart.

  19. Jamie

    October 10, 2016 at 6:18 am

    My ex of 3 years broke up with me about 5 months ago…during that time we would hang out and text (rarely about 4-5 times during the time span of 5 month- we have a “good-ish” relationship with each other as of right now) is it too late to start the no contact rule? I really want to get back with him.

    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 10:10 am

      Hi Jaime,
      Not really, you’re like friendzoned.. Check this one:
      EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

  20. Rachael

    October 10, 2016 at 5:03 am

    My ex broke up with me this morning. We had been together for almost 2 years. He lives in NorCal and I live in SoCal because of school. Technically, I said “we’re done” first, then took it back and apologized. The next day and today, he explained that he was breaking up with me and that he has so much pressure from schoolwork that he has no time for a relationship at this moment. He said that maybe if we find a way through our own flaws, we will find our way back to each other. He’d be willing to meet up with me during winter break if he comes back into town for the holidays. He has not deleted any pictures of us on his facebook, although we’d been in a rough patch for about 2 weeks prior to this situation. What do you think? I read through the whole shabang and am not certain with exactly how to approach it since there is distance involved as well. Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 10:09 am

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