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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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Ana
December 14, 2016 at 9:26 am
It’s more of a question than comment. I dated a guy we broke up and kept seeing each other afterward. We even talked about getting a place together. But a friend from his hometown came to visit after her fiancee cheated on her. She just wanted to get away for a while it as suppose to be a month but it lasted two years. Of which he never stopped calling or texting. After a year I finally said I would see him. We kept seeing each other every couple of weeks, texted every day. Under the assumption he said he told her about me and they weren’t a couple. She recently left and he wants me back. But found out he was sleeping with her while we were together. It may be childish but I asked for one selfless act of love. I asked that he post on a social media site that he loves me and has loves me for two years but made a mistake allowing a friendship to intervene between his true love, me. I told him unless he posted this I would no longer talk or see him. He had been blocked before this and he knows that hasn’t changed. Sis I do the right thing? Was it petty? Childish? I just wanted him to say F*** what they think ur more important and I love u. an act of selfless love. But was it selfish of me to do so?
Ana
December 20, 2016 at 8:50 am
He said he wouldn’t post his business on Facebook. He wanted to go to dinner and discuss us our goals and future. He wanted our pasts to remain just that. He defiantly refused to answer any questions I had about her. He always talked about past exes with me but won’t discuss her. When I finally agreed to see him He switched from dinner to getting a room. I told him I wasn’t into getting a room and that if we were to get together again it would be a very long time before we became intimate again. He kept insisting on just laying together, at the end I agreed to him orally pleasing me (he insisted! A lot) after answering all questions I had regarding her. This conversation took a while. At the end he wanted to change meeting til the next day because he was going to work early in the morning. When I was going to pick him up he just stopped texting and ignored my calls. He could have fallen asleep but he has stood me up in the past. So I freaked out on him. I know! I should have been aloof about it and answered different like the example given but I didn’t that night ….I did, but the next day after several angry texts and various calls. Since then texted twice but he has not texted or called back. It’s been about 5 days. I’m lost as to what to do from here. I know he will contact me at some point, I will not make any further contact until then. Should I meet if he wants to meet and if so should I discuss her? Discuss us first? With the holidays coming up, I didn’t want him to be alone. If he contacts me before then Should I share the holidays with him? He likes my family.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 3:41 pm
Nope.. if you really want a chance for him to treat you differently, dont put yourself in situations that is hard to refuse. You’re becoming his friend with benefits now..the more you see him even after he ghosts you after sleeping with you, the more you’re lowering your value in him
Ana
December 18, 2016 at 4:34 am
He said he wouldn’t post his business on Facebook like that. He refuses to talk about her. He wants to see me and just start over,leaving the past behind us. His and mine. He has been blocked since August and I only contacted him recently. We were gonna do a face to face but He had to work early the next day so he backed out. Just stopped answering me. I did a little freak out that night and he hasn’t responded all day. I really messed up, I only just read this site. So I should have reacted different. But I don’t know where to go from here. Do I just say ok the girl u lived with for two years is history and never ask of her again? Obviously I will not text til he does first, but what should I do when he does?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 21, 2016 at 9:34 am
you dont have to say that, but it would be better to just start to be independent. Have a new routine, grow and improve yourself..
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2016 at 2:41 am
Hi Ana,
that’s not an act of selfless love.. That’s just for you to feel good abd for him to feel ashamed.. And I think, we both know, what you’re asking him to say is not true.. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t do what he did for two years..right now, he’s treating you like his girl on the side..
After you asked that, what did he say?
Lelum
December 13, 2016 at 7:19 am
So, I was dating with the guy and he was really into me & fighting to get my attention and so on. And then I fell in love and forgot I have to play hard to get (I mean, I didn’t. I just have a tough situation – I’m a single mum and I was thinking that there is no point in high expectations unless we are in an official relationship because it will be hard for him ANYWAYS (the father of the baby, the baby itself), so yeah, I’ve been all nice and cute to him…). We argued and he said that I’m kind of ‘too easy’ and he loves to fight for his women and that is why I pushed him away from me. And that now he doesn’t want anything from me. I was sad, but I said ‘ok, I see, take care’ and started NC.
And… should I ask my best friends to tell him (of course pretending it’s their idea) that there is nothing too easy in not overreacting like a 15 yo to any kind of situation because I’m already a grown up woman who knows what she needs so I don’t have to play any ‘Cosmopolitan’ games on him? I mean, I do have high expectations – it’s just… how can you really EXPECT of someone who didn’t commit yet? I need a real life support & commitment, not the one during the dating – so I’m not going to play a princess (as he would like me to) because I have more important things in my life (like my child). But that doesn’t make me EASY, for god’s sake…
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2016 at 10:27 pm
Hi Lelum,
I’m getting a sense that you and him aren’t on the same page about dating. How is he with your child? It’s like he wants fun, not commitment.
Mj
December 10, 2016 at 11:30 am
This may seem like a weird question but I haven’t seen anything on it yet: do you believe the no contact rule still works if he’s doing the same thing to you? I don’t believe he knows about the strategy per sae I just think he’s trying very hard to also no contact me during the breakup. So how does it work if I’m just making it easier on him by not contacting him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 11:38 pm
HI Mj
There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work. But I think you mean if he’s just ignoring you because if he’s doing the no contact rule, then that means he wants you back. Why is he ignoring you?
Sandy
December 9, 2016 at 9:59 am
My boyfriend and i had break up three days ago because i lied about my past. I begged him to patch up but he dint agree.. but he told that we can be friends and he told me if i talk about relationship again he would break this friendship too.. what do i do?? Plz help me?? Should i go with no contact??
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 7:46 pm
Hi Sandy,
He wants to be friends, because he’s still used to having you in his life. Check this one:
This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again
Dana
December 8, 2016 at 3:40 pm
Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago because he had lost feelings for me. At first I begged him back and acted really desperate and he was very cold to me. Once I was able to collect myself I realized that I had to stop that so I went 10 days without talking to him. Since that 10 days have been up we have been texting from time to time. Now it’s our 2nd month of not being together. We met up 2 days ago so he could give me my things, we talked for 4 hours, he ended up holding my hand for a while, and we had sex. The next day we talked and we both agreed that it shouldn’t happen again. My question is, is it too late to do NC? Our last meeting was very positive and was the most constructive conversation we had since we broke up. He said he wasn’t ready to date anyone for a while, but his actions are conflicting with his words. He was nervous and ended up holding my hand first all while saying he’s not ready to date? I’m afraid that it’s too late to start NC, but our communication lately has been positive?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 2:38 pm
Hi Dana,
even if it’s too late to do nc, there’s not much other choice. You can stay friends if you want, but it’s not going to give you a chance for him to miss you and for you to improve. If you are going to do it, I think you need to do at least 30 days.
Sam
December 8, 2016 at 12:43 pm
Hi EBR Team,
I am Sam, i was dating a girl for 2 months. i love her but she had just feelings for me. i tried to convince her about staying with me. at first month everything went well, but on the second month, i was too available and too clingy, so she broke up with me. she told me i took a decision that is not gonna work. we are kind of relatives and a good friends. i went on NC more than a month now. she text me for my birthday and i reply shortly and she called me one day after and i did not pick up the phone,than she went on vacation for 3 weeks. she came back and visited my parents and i did not show up for the NC reason. the NC period is already done last week. she is open for contact as friends, but still awkward. i don’t want her as a friend. she is confused now. do i still have hope? what will be a wise next step? please help!!!
Sam
December 12, 2016 at 5:22 pm
I go to the Gym at least 3 times in the week. I hang out with friends. I read different books. I follow some funny programs on T.V.. I did some new look, haircut, beard, new wardrobe choice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 14, 2016 at 8:56 pm
that’s good Sam but when you said you’re relatives, it it as in close relatives? If yes, then it really won’t work.. If not, you have to keep improving yourself. Don’t chase again and start doing new things like volunteering to meet new people and to expand your world.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 1:03 pm
HI Sam,
how much did you improve yourself?
Matth
December 6, 2016 at 8:21 pm
My ex broke up with me a couple of weeks ago because she said she wasnt feeling the feeling of being really in love like the first time we met, and she said she didnt have the same feelings that we had. Allthough she says she still has some feelings for me, at first i texted her from time to time but then and i asked if we could meet again, but she says she dosent have time. I asked her if we could just be friends and she said no but then i convinced her. She still texts me alot, i tried the no contact rule 2 times, she bombed me with texts saying why i am ignoring her and that she was like “wtf” and “okay. see you”. And then i panicked and called her. I wanna do the no contact but is it okay since we have been talking alot since the breakup?
Matth
December 6, 2016 at 8:22 pm
and she told me i was being too needy and desperate thats a part in why she broke up too. She says i need to play more hard to get
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 10, 2016 at 7:01 pm
Hi Matth,
this time, pre-empt her. Tell her, it’s not workable for you in staying friends. You need space and time to move on,and when you have, reconnect. And then start a 45 day no contact rule.
Emily
December 5, 2016 at 10:06 pm
me and my boyfriend were together for nearly two years, and he broke up with me yesterday. he did this because the last few months we’ve been arguing a lot because i’ve been very down lately and i’m also a very needy person, so i’ve needed him. we used to spend ALL our time together; if we ever went out, it was with my friends. however recently, he’s suddenly decided he needs space and to see his friends which is fine, but i like to text him and speak to him. he’s also recently not been very nice to me and has stopped saying nice things like how much i mean to him etc, which makes me sad. when i am sad, he just ignores me. anyway we broke up yesterday morning, but he came round yesterday evening because he said he doesn’t want to lose me, but i know i love him too much to be able to stay just friends. we kissed last night, and i tried all day not to text him but i did at 3 just asking what he’s up to, then at 6 saying i can stop texting him if he wants and to let me know what he wants, and again at 9 to say im confused because he’d said last night he still wants to talk to me, and he’s ignored all of them. what do you suggest?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 9, 2016 at 1:19 am
Hi Emily,
If he doesn’t change his mind, more likely, you’re going to be friendzoned if you kept being friend or he would get annoyed because you will keep being needy. Do you want to try the no contact rule?
Siobhan
December 5, 2016 at 10:21 am
During the no contact rule .. what if you find them on a dating site .. again Not that I am on them my friend shown me
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 5, 2016 at 12:19 pm
Hi Siobhan,
Dont do anything.. because if you react to that, you would look like you’re social media stalking him..
Brooke
December 5, 2016 at 2:12 am
Hey … me and my friend had bad relationships and everything went so fast with us we wanted kids marriage house everything, we were so perfect together and everyone would tell
Us the same thing. There’s never ben a connection or any love stronger ben what we had – which we even more agree on. If we ever had an argument I would say let’s cook off and sprsknanother day but he was very “no sort This out right now” he was a bit needy at tims but that didn’t bother me. So anyway .. he ended up and I couldn’t handle it .. I was texting non stop and he said for a few weeks “he didn’t know about us anymore” I was trying to convince him daily and he would tell me things like “how would it be different thins time” getting my hopes up, so I carried on basically harassing him. He texts tells me he loves me wants to make this work then changes his mind the next day.. the same thing happened again. I have always said to him let’s meet so we can fix this or walk away for good, but he never did and said stuff like “I can’t look at you, I wouldn’t want to end it” he phoned me talked all over me and just ended things. I just don’t know what to do and which would be the best rule for me?
Brooke
December 6, 2016 at 1:39 am
8 month the relationship was, this had been going on for two months and when he called me and ended it (the final time) that was Thursday
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 9, 2016 at 3:03 am
If he’s being like that, and suggesting to talk doesn’t work, even if there’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will, it’s still the better choice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 5, 2016 at 3:13 pm
Hi Brooke,
how long was the relationship and when did he break up with you?
emi
December 3, 2016 at 7:53 pm
my bf and i broke up almost five months ago. when school started again, we would have very short and brief conversations but then all of a sudden two months passed and we hadn’t talked. every time i try to text him it’s always really short and he’s so stubborn and won’t admit that nothing is really normal between us anymore. he ends conversations abruptly and i made a mistake of telling him i missed him a few days ago. should i still do the NC rule? and for how long? and does this mean i can’t like his posts on instagram or view his snapchat story?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 4, 2016 at 10:39 am
Hi Emi,
yeah, you can still try it.. But you have to keep in mind, for him, what’s normal is your just friends..so, just be friendly only after nc..slowly buils rapport and attraction from that.. Yep, you cant like his posts, no social media stalking..just focus in improving yourself
emi
December 3, 2016 at 5:25 pm
so my bf and i were doing great for two months before i panicked for some reason and ended it right there. i blocked his number and we didn’t talk for around half a month, but the conversation was really short. then it was two months until we had another short conversation and they all seem to be okay but when I decided to text him he left me on read and cut the conversation short so i’m not sure what happened. how long should i do the NC rule for? and does this mean not liking any of his posts too??
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 4, 2016 at 10:39 am
Hi Emi,
yeah, you can still try it.. But you have to keep in mind, for him, what’s normal is your just friends..so, just be friendly only after nc..slowly buils rapport and attraction from that.. Yep, you cant like his posts, no social media stalking..just focus in improving yourself
Sarah Ganton
November 28, 2016 at 8:18 pm
Trying the NC Rule but what do I do if he asks me to hang out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 5:50 pm
Hi Sarah,
You have to ignore the text. If it’s in person, refuse..
venus
November 28, 2016 at 3:57 am
Hello, I have been dating this guy for about 2/3 months and everything was great. He was very open with his emotions with me and we could talk openly . I was hesitant at the beginning but he won me over. he has always been texting me frequently. lately ( in the last two weeks) hes been pretty distance, with much less contact, we don’t text or talk as much as before) but when I asked if anything was wrong in his life (he’s going through a fair bit of stuff) he said no. the last straw was when i texted him last thurs, i didn’t get any reply, so i called him after several hours has passed. he flipped and got mad with me and said that he did talked to me after my text, which was untrue. we didn’t talk at all. i asked him about his comment, to which he kept quiet about it. we haven’t spoken since then, i have only sent one text message saying that i’ll give him space and he could message once he’s ready to talk. so far i haven’t heard anything from him and really have no idea what to do 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 9:57 pm
Hi Venus,
if you’re just dating she’s not really exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend, and he’s going through a lot, then he might think you’re being needy.. Are you going to do the no contact rule?
Laura
November 26, 2016 at 11:23 pm
Hi, Amor! How can I make the no contact rule work for me if my relationship was long distance and my ex left the relationship not interested in me as a girlfriend or a friend because I was too clingy and told me not to talk to him anyway?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 3:46 pm
Hi laura
i’m just going to paste my answer to your previous post because it seems like, it didnt appear on your end?
You have to be active in posting is social media.. whether he has an account or not, because there is still a big chance that he will check your account once he gets curious why you stopped chasing.
I didn’t understand your last question though..If you meant you were clingy, that means you weren’t active enough in your own time because if you were active in your time, you wouldn’t be clingy. Yes, you are distant, but I think what you meant is that you were demanding? Correct me if I’m wrong. That still means you’re clingy. He has to see during and after nc that you’re more busy. You don’t have much time for him and you’re not asking nor demanding more time from him anymore because you have a lot on your plate.
He has to see that you’re starting to move on during nc, so that there’s a higher chance that he will initiate during it or he would think that you’re just being friendly after nc if you initiate. That’s why you have to keep the routine that you will start during nc while your’e rebuilding rapport with him slowly.
Grace
November 25, 2016 at 11:23 pm
My ex-broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. At first I tried the “friend ” thing in hopes of getting him back, every contact I got a friendly response but after 2 weeks of that I decided it was just too painful. I’ve done no contact for a bit over a week, I still see him daily at school, but have remained distanced. Im worried NC will not work and only give him what he wants, he is very out going and started talking to me just weeks after breaking up with the girl he was dating before me, additionally I was very clingy at the end of our relationship , Im worried that although he cares about me this time will only allow him a quick escape and will only want to be friends when I contact him in a few weeks
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 27, 2016 at 7:11 pm
Hi Grace,
it’s not about just stopping to talk to him because you’re right. He wants space and you’re giving it, which is good but the no contact rule should be more for you. You have to improve yourself.
R
November 23, 2016 at 5:37 pm
Hi Amor,
I posted my question in another section, but it disappeared. Me and my ex/current boyfriend situation is a bit tricky. He started seeing this new girl while he’s still with me, because he felt I am not the one, but I didn’t want to break up, so he said he can’t commit to me, but we continue to see each other and he’s free to see whoever he wants. I found out through social media that he’s going to an event with the new girl. I am tempted to go there and I guess it’s bad idea? Maybe I will get more hurt seeing them together? I read the guide about being there without being threatening, how do I show my presence without crossing the line? Any suggestions in my situation? Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 25, 2016 at 8:02 pm
Hi R
have you done the no contact rule? So, for a long time you stayed in contact because you still love him, if you showed up in that concert it would look like you’re keeping an eye on him right? Staying present will only help if he thinks you have moved on and improved and if your presence doesn’t look intentional..
Ray
November 23, 2016 at 7:29 am
Hi EBR Team,
My bf and I broke.up five months ago but we decided to be friends. Neither of us can even remember why we broke up in the first place. But we’ve been really good friends. We keep in touch everyday and we still hang out when we can. I’ve tried inititiating the no contact a couple of times but it only lasts two days at most. I would like it if we got back together because we do love each other, we tell each other that every single day. But the confusion and the fact that we are still trying to find ourselves is actually holding us from being together.
If I initiate the NC will it still work for me? To get over him and if we ever get back together then it should be on a new slate. Can NC work?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 25, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Hi Ray,
there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but if it’s the only thing you haven’t tried, then why not?
Ray
November 23, 2016 at 7:17 am
Hey EBR Team,
I broke up with my bf in June and we both agreed to remain friends. We still went out on dates and hanged out as we used to while in a relationship but the only difference was that we were friends. It’s been hard for me to initiate the no contact mostly because we still check up on each other every single day and we still talk like we are together. But I feel like the more we are friends, the more it will take to move on and set each other free. He says he still loves me and will always be there for me. I feel the same way about him but I need to move on already. If UT’s really meant to be it will be, right?
Can I still initiate the NC and will it work for me?
Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 25, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Hi Ray,
there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but if it’s the only thing you haven’t tried, then why not?
James
November 22, 2016 at 9:21 pm
Hi there,
My ex broke up with me a few months ago and we still texted each other, up until one day I went berserk at her as I thought she was already dating and due to my past mental illness I treated the situation badly, called her names and then I blocked her as I felt that I needed to get mentally stable and finish my therapy. After about a month and a half, I unblocked her and we initiated contact. For the first 2 weeks she did not believe my love for her and that I blocked her so I could get mentally better but after this period we started talking properly, calling each other and texting daily. She lives abroad and I planned to make her birthday special.
Unfortunately 4 days before my flight was due, somebody random started chatting to her on facebook and she had to make a choice she said as she is very loyal and does not chat to 2 men at once. she chose him and left me hanging. We arranged to meet so I could give her the birthday presents I got her and she was telling me how special this guy is which made me feel quite sad. 3 weeks later I am going back to my country and I plan to move eventually as soon as I save money to be near my family (the country where she lives).
I still owe her money and I plan to give her all of it. I dropped of some of it and a song I made for her at her work before she had started and she thanked me and said goodluck and that she appreciates me giving her the money I lent her.
I have not spoken to her since (about a week ago) bar a text message which was about a thunderstorm that was near here. (nothing to do with relationship). I keep dreaming about her and I also randomly keep thinking about her and getting the gut instict that she is thinking about me. I bought her a xmas present already but not sure wether to give her it. Was going to send her it with a little note saying… I remember everything and hope you follow your dreams.
was thinking I should do the 21 day no contact to better myself more than anything and to show her how serious I am about wanting a family with her and such. Am I delusional?
JC0410
November 25, 2016 at 1:45 am
CHILD INVOLVEMENT.. WHAT’s next?
My fiance and I had been together for almost 2 years. After series of cheating on his part, I have put down the wedding that he prepared in RUSH so he could stop me from leaving him and choosing my career to pull myself up. I was doing well with my new job now and even got promoted, then he suddenly pulled and blamed me for the cancellation of our wedding. Not until we had our longest silent war (since we are in LDR) for 5 days, he is not calling neither messaging. I reached him out and BOOOM! He was so sarcastic! I found out later then that HE HAS ANOTHER GIRL and the two of them are going out together. So I CUT HIM OFF INSTANTLY. No explanation at all. On my First week of NC i was still talking to his friend, on the second week, I cut off all his friends too. He had been calling and messaging me nicely. But then I was caught off guard since there was a CHILD INVOLVED. Though the kid isn’t mine, (the kid was his son from a nanny he slept with before) the child recognizes me as his mother somehow and my love for the child was there (honestly)
So after receiving an update from him about the child, Im almost half way through on my 2. 5 weeks and I called him. It was not nice neither not so well 9 min call but he message me the following day saying sorry how the conversation didnt end up well.
I sent a message saying things all about the child but I DIDN’T MENTION anything about US. The only note that speaks about us there was.. “WHAT EVER WE HAD IN THE PAST, PLS DO NOT INCLUDE THE CHILD. HE’s NOT A PART ON HOW THINGS ENDED BETWEEN US”
After that I received a voice message again remidning me to be safe and to eat on time..
I didn’t reply.
SO what to do next now?
Am I on the right track so far as I break the NC for the child?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 27, 2016 at 2:08 pm
Hi JC0410
it’s ok to talk about the child but you can’t talk to his friends about him. And what happens to you and child if ever things don’t work out between you and your ex?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2016 at 6:38 pm
Hi James,
nope, you’re in love but you’re chasing.. And if she chose somebody else over you, chasing is not attractive… 21 days is too short for you too..I think you should do 45 days..