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6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Noelle

    August 1, 2017 at 12:23 am

    Hi I was dating someone who would go hot and cold. He has recently lost his brother in a car accident and both of his parents were deceased as well. We had a very emotional beginning especially myself. But when he would let me in he would say how hurt he is and how he hates that he pushes people away that care about him. Two weeks before our final fight, I started to pull away. He was the one pulling me back and reminding me we’d be okay. We got in one argument and he said he needed space but he was also coming up on a year of his brothers death. I went crazy not speaking to him figuring out my job and other things it all came to a head. So losing him felt horrible and I called him and he didn’t answer (‘many times) I was a wreck. Long story short he says he just needed space and I didn’t do that. Although I feel he could still have communicated a little. He then said he hated me I was a bitch because I wanted to end things on a good note and kept reaching out. Then I did no contact for a week in which he called twice and text twice for two days. I didn’t respond until later that day and he just text me with I didn’t want anything I just wanted to say sorry for how I talked to you. I feel like if that were the case he would have texted in the first place. I said it’s all good and to take care then the next day asked short question and he answered I tried to call the next day and nothing. Still nothing. Should I do the no contact rule again? And start over? I feel like he really just plays with my emotions right now and he still isn’t giving me what I feel I deserve. But I do want it to work somehow. Cause I’ve fallin for him and miss him so much it hurts.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      Hi Noelle,

      Yes, restart it and do at least 30 days

  2. Reena

    July 30, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Hello,
    My bf of 4 months broke up with me through text a week ago (he didn’t even su ay it directly like I’m breaking up with you, he said you either change your with me or we’re not good for each other anymore then we just stopped talking). We were really smooth and great until I was stressed and under pressure due to my mom leaving the house and was doing bad at school. So I started getting pissed at him for everything that happens and he said he was under pressure and he can’t take it anymore. I started NC rule the same day we broke up. He kind of asked our mutual friend about me because we hung out together and he found out because someone posted a pic on snapchat, so he was like “so I see you hung out with her). Does that mean he still cares?
    Thanks in advance

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Hi Reena,

      Yup..

  3. P

    July 26, 2017 at 2:21 am

    My boyfriend an I broke up at the end of June, and I have started the No Contact rule for the second time (I failed the first time, as I responded to him when he texted after 13 days, and saw him 2 days after that..) I’m currently on day 11 of my 2nd No Contact period, and I would need advice regarding interaction with his friends during that period.

    I’m in an Ultimate Frisbee league (my boyfriends and I use to play together, however this season I’m alone) and play every Tuesdays at 7pm. His friends play in another team, but in the same program as I do, which means there’s a high chance of crossing them in the park. According to the league’s website, they were playing in the field next to mine tonight. When I left the park tonight after the game, I saw them from afar sitting on the grass in a circle, and while I didn’t walk past close to them, I didn’t even turn to wave “Hi” (while I could of..) I do feel slightly guilty, as they were always so very nice to me when my boyfriend and I were together.
    ***Question 1: Was it wrong not to say hi? Is it normal that I feel guilty?

    Next week, the league’s website says that my team will be playing with their team. I’m quite nervous to be honest. I will definitely have to say hi and/or talk to them.
    ***Question 2: How would you recommend I interact/behave when seeing them?

    Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 28, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      Hi P,

      Don’t avoid them..just be casual.. If they start bringing up the break up, end it the conversation about that by being indifferent about it and then change the topic

  4. Sara

    July 24, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    Hello, Amor
    My boy friend broke up with me and his reason was that I’m always busy and I do not have time to take care of him, honestly that’s right I was totally busy long time but later I wanted to fix a lot of things with him , he told me I hurt him and abused to him ,and it’s too late cause he made his decision, I tried to talk with him to get him back, after break up I asked him to meet for the last time, and he agreed, actually we did sex , We talked a lot and asked him to give me a new chance to fix everything, and asked him to find a reason for me to forgive me for getting away from this decision he said he would think and let him 2 or 3 days without connecting – because he has made a decision and he felt he’s alone long time cause I was busy .
    Ps: when I met him I asked him to give me a set of books I really need to read and he brings them to me and I told him I would return it to him when I finish reading.
    Today – I’m on my third day of no contact period.
    I need ur opinion, please what can I do ? and When can I return books to him? and I’m really thinking to deactivate my Facebook account to stop seeing his posts? do u think its useful step?

    Thank you so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Sara,

      if you can give the books back after 21 days, then start the 21 day nc and don’t deactivate your account. Use it to your advantage. check this one:
      What To Text Your Ex After A Breakup (And How To Incorporate Social Media)

  5. Lacy

    July 18, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after Christmas and was hanging out with me just letting it flow as he said no labels up until h started dating someone new then told me we would just be friend so I started no contact rule and he has text me every day two to theee times and now not being on my Facebook he no longer has access to my post expect public and someone posted that my dad is in th hospita in the ER. So he has. When calling me and texting and messaging and trying all avenues to co fact me to find out how my dad is. What is the Rule on this ? I haven’t replied to any of it and just ignore it. What is your input? No contact rule only been one week.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 10:15 pm

      Hi Lacy,
      You should stick to no contact especially if you have talked to him very long after the break up.

  6. Natasha

    July 18, 2017 at 4:06 am

    I was doing the NC for almost 20 days, he kept texting and calling me and then he sent me two text that said one of his extended family members passed away. I felt bad ignoring that, so I sent him a very simple card and and he just text me that he got and thanks. That was it. Do I restart the NC or what now? We have been together for 4 years and just doesn’t seem to want to commit and am tired of it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:44 pm

      For me you don’t have to.. The question is, if you are improving yourself and if you’re active in posting.

  7. Regina

    July 18, 2017 at 1:39 am

    I broke up with my ex 7 months ago. I told him I wanted to get back 4 months ago, he’s not sure about getting back (this indecision is killing me), but we talk ever since, also I’ve asked him out, he had asked me out, but nothing really happened, just had good times like friends, and a few moments of affection. Now has been 2 weeks since we last spoke (I adopted the NC rule), and my question is… Is it a good idea applying the NC rule in this situation, since we broke up so many months ago and talked for months? Isn’t it a little too late for NC?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      Hi Regina,

      yeah, check this one:
      EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

  8. Luna

    July 14, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    Hi, Amor!

    Short version: Long distance serious relationship, 3 months together, I broke up with him, He blocked me on Whatsapp, 11 days of no contact, first break up, I realized I love him, want him back. How to proceed?

    Full story: 11 days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend and we haven’t spoken since. We met shortly before I had to move back to my country and our relationship was long distance for 3 months. It was serious, we talked about marriage, kids, me moving back to his country, etc. I was “the one” for him. I gave him my everything. We had to hide our relationship (long story, kinda forbidden love), so we weren’t connected on social media. A week before we broke up, he lost his phone (which I didn’t know), and I couldn’t reach him and got really worried. I found his fb and then his Instagram where I saw a photo he posted a few days before, sleeping on another girl’s shoulder. We were having some differences lately, which I expressed to him multiple times, he was hurting me with his lack of communication and felt like I wasn’t his priority. Seeing that photo and him not reaching out to me for days, I thought he cheated and left me without a word and cut off all contact. I was crushed, devastated. Turns out he was searching for me on fb for days and wrote to me on the 3rd day. By then I had already decided to break up, so I ignored him and on the 3rd day sent him my number, said we needed to talk. He called the next day and it didn’t go so well. I didn’t let him explain cause I needed to be firm, as I thought he had betrayed me. He was caught off guard when I told him it’s over, he didn’t expect that. Then he said that’s maybe the best if I’m gonna jump to conclusions like that. We argued and I told him that’s goodbye ,to not call or write to me again. He told me he always did what he thought was best for me, that he never meant to hurt me and that he wishes me all the best. He hung up and blocked me on Whatsapp. I know I hurt him. We haven’t talked since. I realized we had some issues, but they were small, we could’ve worked through them. I let the pain cloud my judgment and I broke up trying to stop the immense pain. I realized I love him, and want us to try again. But he’s very proud, so I guess I’ll have to reach out first. I’m calm now, thinking clearly, working on myself, letting us both heal.
    How long for our no contact (at 11 days now)? How should I reach out to him after? Or should he reach out first?

    Thank you <3

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 2:07 pm

      Hi luna,

      how forbidden is forbidden? and who is the girl he’s with on the photo?

  9. Mai

    July 9, 2017 at 3:56 am

    We broke up 3 weeks ago. After a week and a half we started trying to fix things, but he said I have to prove myself and he strung me along, then admitted he kissed another girl after 3 days, has been binge drinking nightly and is extremely reckless (daily yoga also made him more aggressive due to overehelming surpressed issue). The girl he’s been talking to knows it’s nothing serious and temporary and she is ok with that. Well, I am not and told him I will NOT be another woman. My issue is that I feel cheated (even if we broke up) and I have inages in my mind every day of him kissing another woman).

    I tried nc last wed, but he got enraged cause he regretted being honest and felt so anandoned when I ignored him (he has serious abandonment issues from childhood). So we talked and he said he knows I am the one, but he needs to fix this mess he made and the state he is in.

    So we talked about letting each other go to heal and fix our lives and not communicate for a month. So we already agreed on moving on and no contact.

    He’s 33. I am 37. He knows I want a family within 2 years and if not with him I need to find someone else who is ready for those sacrifices and commitment. He said 2 years is still what he wants as well, that hasn’t changed.

    Will nc still work in this scenario? He already knows we won’t talk for a month. And is 30 days even enough, given the severity of the mess he needs to clean up?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      You have to extend to 45 days and dont inform him about it..

  10. Cassandra

    July 6, 2017 at 10:44 am

    Hi,
    I met a guy almost a year ago and after a few months of going out we started as fwb as both of us agreed we enjoyed the company but didn’t want a relationship at that point. As we were already friends before starting, we mainly broke up all the rules (we stood together every weekend, I used to stay at his place the day after for breakfast, lunch and sometimes even dinner, we texted constantly and at least we were meeting once per week not just for sex but for going to the movies, park, galleries, doing shopping, etc.). After four months of being like that he told me he was wanting to finish the benefits and just keep the friendship, at that point I agreed (that was the arrangement). But as we were still seeing each other, going out and texting constantly I realised I was starting to develop feelings about him, so I told him I needed a break from him. He told me he didn’t want to loose contact with me, so I told him I wasn’t ending the friendship but I really needed a break to put myself together again, and that we should see it as a good chance for both of us to move on (initially he said he wanted to stop the fwb because he was starting to feel unsure if he was in a relationship or if he could keep on hanging out with other girls and that he was wanting to move on). I texted him telling him that I was erasing him form all my media and that the only think I was asking from him was time (when he first told me he wanted to move on I erased him from whatsapp and he immediately called me to ask me why I did that)….
    So far I sent him a parcel with some things I borrowed from him without a note nor anything (he said before he wanted me to return the things face to face or that he could wait until I got over things) and has been almost a week without talking (we used to text every day several times a day until going to bed). Am I over reacting as technically we were nothing? I just feel I need to put myself together before even thinking on being friend with him again….

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 8:00 pm

      Hi Cassandra,
      EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

  11. Anne

    July 1, 2017 at 2:17 am

    Hi! I have a quick question. My boyfriend and I broke up over text. After the break up, he told me that he still cares about be and that he wanted me to talk to him if I was hurt because he wanted to help me. That same day I talked to him about how I was hurting, but we never talked about the break up. The day after the break up, I asked him if I could call him so I could get closure. We talked on the phone and the conversation ended well. The next day I sent him a quick snapchat that was happy. Is it too late to start the no contact rule or can I still start it even though we talked for the first few days after the break up?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      Hi Anne,

      You can still start it

  12. jack

    June 30, 2017 at 10:48 am

    how should we use no contact rule on whatsapp?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Hi jack,

      What do you mean? When you’re in nc, you dont initiate contact nor reply

  13. Loan

    June 29, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    So, my ex and I were together for over 2 years and he blindsided me and ended it because he had lost the feeling. He told me that he didn’t want to lead me on and our breakup was quite quick and calm. He spoke for about 5 minutes. I told him I wasn’t going to force him to stay with me and that I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me. I was very hurt and crying when he left. A few days later I text him and it was about 7 messages in before he finally replied and told me that he felt that he needed time apart so that he could process everything. He even took a day off work. He said that he felt we should meet a few weeks down the road to talk. That he cared for me as a person but not as a lover anymore. That he wanted me to be happy and that any man I meet down the road would be lucky to have me. That he wanted to remain friends and to be supportive. I sent several messages after that and started the no contact. About 3.5 weeks in I broke no contact and sent him an email, to which he responded and said that he had been thinking about reaching out to me but didn’t have the words to communicate. He then pushed to meet because he felt we needed to talk. I gave in and gave him a time frame so take it or leave it. We met and all he did was blame me for everything, not once really taking accountability for any of the reasons as to why he lost this feeling. We ended the conversation on good terms and he hugged me twice, asked me to send him updates and I told him that he would have to message me if he wanted to know what was going on. A few days later I text him to see if we could have a quick talk because I felt I couldn’t remain friends. He was short with me and said that if it wasn’t important or an emergency, that we should keep limited contact for a little while. To which I told him no worries, that I’d just email him and cut it off there. So I sent him a very angry and reality check email to him telling him it was over between us, friendship and all. Then I started no contact again for another 3.5 weeks. It didn’t go so well, he never responded. I reached out to him by text and it took me getting super worked up and upset before he finally responded. I was going into the hospital for a procedure and I just needed his support. I didn’t respond to his text. Then he emailed me. I didn’t respond. Then he text me the next morning again to wish me good luck and I did respond for another day as I was home recuperating. Then I told him I was fine and that I wasn’t upset with him, but rather disappointed in him and told him I just don’t know how we got to this and I just wanted it all to be over. I was done with negative feelings toward him. He told me again that it’s been hard for him as he does want the best for me, but he didn’t know how to keep in touch with me without leading me on. He said that he didn’t know what to do to help me to heal and that he doesn’t see us as a couple anymore but more as friends. That he’s lost the feeling and he doesn’t know if he will ever get it back. Well we met that evening to talk. It was progress. He is very inexperienced in relationships for a 35 year old. I was his first girlfriend and his first love. I was the only girl he’s ever brought home to meet his parents, family, friends and co-workers. He is a bit self centered and selfish but that is because he has lived a single man lifestyle for so long. He ran when things got bumpy and gave up on us prematurely. His entire family feels the same way and the also feel he really needs to grow up. Our mutual friends and myself included feel the same. That he needs to grow up and that he was very unfair to me. Anyway, I find out that this entire time, he has been using the no contact rule on me too. He said it didn’t seem to work because he could see from my reaction. He said he read somewhere online that it was something he should do so he just did. As of now, we are communicating again. He has started dating again and we haven’t even broken up 7 weeks. It hurts and he knows where I stand. I asked him to keep an open mind that that feeling isn’t black and white that he can get it back if and when he wants. He said he doesn’t as of now, he’s not ready to. I agreed to remain friends on the terms that he understand that I do not agree to the break up but I do accept his decision to break up. That I value our relationship enough that I am willing to be friends if this is the only way I can still check up on him and support him and be in his life. That he knows that I still love him and I don’t discount that maybe not now but down the road that he be open to seeing where it can lead. So there you have it, in my situation, the no contact rule did not work, it only made things harder on both of us. Communication and trust is the key. I think he’s so inexperienced to relationships that he probably doesn’t know what he feels either because it’s all new to him too. I really do feel that in time, he will come around, I just don’t know if I will still be around. He did get a bit surprised when I said I had been on a couple of dates. He justified that he had too and it hadn’t gotten far like me. He also didn’t like when I asked him if he felt I truly should move on and not because he felt it was the right thing for me but if he truly wanted me to. He told me yes and I told him if this is what he wanted then I can only do it if I return everything he’s ever given me and cut him from my life completely. He went into a bit of a panic. So for now, I feel like there is a bit of progress to at least build a new relationship….starting from a friendship and seeing if it will grow. He has promised that he will now respond to my text messages and he has kept that promise. I wish there was a way to speed this up but I know I have to be patient and know that I will still hurt and probably be more hurt when he really starts sleeping around. He hasn’t experienced the grass is greener on the other side yet….I know I set the bar really high. I think this is why he still wants me in his life because he told me from day one that he never wanted to remain friends with an ex, yet he changed his mind about me.

  14. Cassie

    June 26, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    This is kind of a long/complicated story but, I really am not sure what to do with my situation. I mett my ex 7 years ago, when I was 16 while on vacation with family. He lived 5 hours from me so we would see each other every 3 months for a few weeks and this continued for about 3 years total. The distance and petty arguments were basically the issues, then again I was 16-18. We broke it off when approaching 3 years, and then got back together when I was 18 after a 6 month split, it only lasted about 2 months as I was frustrated with not knowing where my future was going and i never really told him, so i created a petty argument and things were over. We didn’t talk for about a year, and we had lots of arguments just about the break up and whatnot when we did. In 2014, we got back onto good speaking terms, and were toying with the idea of getting back together possibly, but I found someone else, and he did too. I actually dated two people which didn’t work out for me. We continued to talk on and off. He’s had a girlfriend now for 3 years, and for the past year or so we’ve talked on and off and he would distance sometimes randomly, we’d talk about memories, and just our lives. Then he’d come back and apologize for not being in touch for a while. We have now been in contact for 4 months straight, and we’ve been on great terms. Things have gotten confusing, very flirtatious, even to the point where he told me he still cares for me very much, and still has feelings too. He even at one point has said his current gf doesn’t respect him, and that i just treat him with so much kindness. We’ve talked about the possibilites even, of seeing each other again, or if it was even possible to be a thing again. All which i’ve received very mixed signals. 1. He’s not sure he can handle the distance but it’s not a no, just not right now. 2. He will have more funds once he’s settled into the new place he’s going to live. ( As far as seeing me goes). 3. we basically both agreed if we were to get together again, we’d have to find a way to end the distance for good. He knows exactly how I feel about him, and we were texting literally just about every hour or just on and off throughout the day for about 2 months straight out of the 4 months. Lately, im getting maybe a few texts at most as of this past week. I’ve tried to do no contact a total of 3 times.. and then backed out just saying that its a scary time for me, with all these feelings and whatnot. All three times he was respectful of my decision, but at the same time didn’t want to stop talking either. we both have this very strong bond and connection, though he has a girlfriend, and im not sure what’s really going on. He’s told me that his home life and work has been crazy the past few days and that he promises he’s not ignoring me. Do I continue talking, and iniating contact only when he does and not flirt, and not bring up any feeling type stuff? Or do i just silently go no contact?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      Hi Cassie,
      Check this one:
      How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

  15. Annie

    June 25, 2017 at 8:37 am

    Hello. My name is Ann. My ex-boyfriend left me after 2 years of relationships, he said that his feelings ended over 6 months ago and now he is in love with another one, and that he is starting to communicate with her 6 months ago, they never go out. And now they are dating and he is in love. Do I have a chance to bring him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:54 am

      Try the no contact rule first, if it doesn’t work, then you can move on..

  16. Mona

    June 24, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Hi!
    Almost a month ago I was broken up by my ex boyfriend of 2.5 months. He broke up with me with the excuse that he “wasn’t feeling it anymore, doesn’t want to be dating right now” and (I have asked many times what went wrong or what I did wrong) he says its not about anything I did.
    What confuses me is that we were getting very serious, he wanted me to meet his father(I wasn’t ready) and he was about to meet my parents, but out of nowhere he ends it, and when I asked if we could get back together sometime in a future as he says he doesn’t want to date right now, he replied with we’ll see. After we ended, he wanted to be friends, I don’t believe exes can be friends although he believes we can. We’ve had some contact since the breakup (holidays and birthdays special occasions), but he doesn’t like any of my social media posts like friends would do, we don’t talk otherwise, but sometimes I give in and start a conversation which he always replies to.
    My question is will I have a chance at getting him back if I do the no contact rule, and for how long should I do it for since we were together for a short time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 28, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      The no contact is not a guarantee, it only increases your chances
      Do at least 21 days

  17. Sara

    June 19, 2017 at 4:58 am

    Hi, amor.
    Well, my boyfriend broke up with me after a six months relationship. The first days I texted him a lot, and I called him some times. I wanted to start the NC but I preffer to told him I needed time(I knew I wouldn’t know what to do if he texted me, I couldn’t ignore him bc I kept being so affected), so he hasn’t texted me in these days, and I haven’t looked for him (13 days of no contact, we are supossed to start taking on 11 days more, my birthday is that day)…Anyways it’s like NC, right? He wants to be friends. I obviusly want to come back with him. I’m not sure about what I should do to get his attention back…After this days, should I text him like normal or just ignore him or…?

    1. Sara

      June 26, 2017 at 4:36 am

      I had replied but I’m not sure if it appears so…Amor, I have been improving myself…But I’m confuse about posting…What should I post? I have just post two pictures and changed my profile picture…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 28, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Posting in social media.. Especially in the ones where the posts last because that’s to show your improvements and that you’re moving on and not chasing…post maybe 2-3 times a week

    3. Sara

      June 24, 2017 at 6:16 pm

      It doesn’t matter that I told him I needed time?

    4. Sara

      June 24, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      Well, I’ve been improving myself….But what do you mean with posting? I’m kind of new with this so I don’t know the steps…

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2017 at 2:38 pm

      If the past days were not focused in improving yourself and in posting, you should restart the count

  18. Ali

    June 17, 2017 at 10:44 am

    Hello Amor,
    Please, I need your help. I dated my ex for 2 months in the Fall (September- beginning of November), but we knew each other from June 2016. We used to get along with each other very well on emotional level. We both admitted that we have never met anyone who would match so perfectly. Everything was great till one night when we were together and looked at each other and feeling that there is something going on, I mean, we both felt like we are quickly moving towards something bigger and more meaningful in our relationship. After that night he became extremely distant and stopped to reply to my texts for hours/1-2 days. And at work he avoided me. I tried to implement NC rule, but my max was one week, then I texted him to meet or asking what was going on. He said that he was extremely busy and promised to meet but never did, that lasted for one month, till December, when I gave up, became super angry and texted that we break up, (we could not meet even to break up as normal people) he said that he wanted to have with me good time as much as we can but nothing serious. So I said that he is weak if he is afraid of something serious even when he admitted that we should be together and said him not to contact me. Now I know he is commitment phobe, but also I feel like he used me emotionally to boost his self esteem, because he always told how beautiful I am and was extremely jealous at events, work, when any guy approached me, and he is also very handsome man.
    So I decided that it was a game for him, then he is not for me and we both did not text, reach out each for like 6-7 months until we were assigned to work with each other with 5 more people in a team. After the first day, in the evening he texted me and asked me to look at him and talk to him during meetings. I promised to try, he said that very appreciates it, so we continued to chat, but after a few messages I got into situation when I said that still have feelings to him and wish we could work out, he said that he has been dating someone else, but still cares about me and when I said that I’m moving to another city, so we will never meet, he asked where I’m moving I named the city and to my surprise he is already living there and said that then “we will surely meet”. I did not get all these mixed signal, got angry and he said that he wants to be friends, I said, no friendship, because I don’t to be friend zoned. So basically we still work with each other in one team but it’s very awkward because I’m trying to seduce him, but see no reaction from him besides past text when he said that I’m “very beautiful and awesome person”. So after 2 weeks of no contact, last week I texted him that agree to be friends because I really decided to move on, but he did not respond within 2 days, it was weekend, so on Sunday night I deleted him from FB friends list and in the Monday morning got a message that he was sorry for late reply and really happy that I refought the whole thing and want to stay in touch with him from time to time to chat. But I decide not to reply, so basically now I feel that situation in my control, because I did not reply and he doesn’t know what is going on in my head.
    I need advice on the whole situation, does this seems to work out at the end?
    Shall I reply after a week of no response? or text in 45 days?
    What kind of strategy could be implemented to get him back? Nothing works…
    Am I emotional masochist? 🙂 I really felt very good until this team work and managed to stay so close to him.

    1. Ali

      June 20, 2017 at 10:38 am

      Thanks, I’ve read this article some days ago. However, I decided to move on, he is not the Sun to revolve around him no matter how much I like him. 🙂

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 20, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      Ok Ali, that’s good..

    3. Ali

      June 20, 2017 at 10:38 am

      Thanks, I’ve read this article some days ago. However, I decided to move on, he is not the Sun to revolve around him no matter how I like him. 🙂

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 19, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      check tĥe link below and do atleast 45 daŷs nc:
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  19. Lucy

    June 16, 2017 at 7:23 pm

    When should the NC rule start. My bf broke up with me 1 1/2 months ago, we have spoke over the phone regarding our relationship a week ago. Should it start from that day?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2017 at 7:04 pm

      you need to restart the nc immediately

  20. Elizabeth

    June 16, 2017 at 5:11 am

    Almost 3 months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me after an almost 3 year relationship with no previous breakups. I started the no contact rule, and after 5 weeks or so, we started communicating again, and even met several times. It reached a point where we were being affectionate and loving, and talked about out relationship, though no concrete decisions about our relationship was made. He has suddenly gone cold in the last 2 weeks and claims it to be him being “busy”. I started the no contact rule, is 30 days enough? Should I wait for him to reach out, or should I? And how can I bring it to the point where he makes a decision about the relationship, rather than just him being hot and cold? Thank you

    1. Elizabeth

      June 25, 2017 at 10:11 am

      I built rapport with him for maybe 2-3 weeks. He reached out to me a week ago and was very sweet and kind, but still has not made up his mind about the relationship. He says he doesn’t know what he wants, and wants to be in communication with me, but nothing serious, despite the fact that we are flirtatious and affectionate with each other, and talk a lot of the time. He says I can “do as I please” even though he will stay single and not date. I am very confused on how to go about this. I want to wait for him to decide, but i don’t think i can. especially if it’ll just end with him saying for us to both move on.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 6:00 am

      If you think it’s time to move on now, that’s ok.. If not, set a limit on until when you’ll build rapport

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2017 at 7:42 pm

      after the first nc, how long were you building rapport?

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