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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. C

    March 2, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    My boyfriend of about 8 months broke up with me kind of out of the blue yesterday. I thought we had a good relationship, we trusted each other and shared similar views about a lot of important things, like financial priorities and philosophical views. The one thing I will say is we almost never disagreed about anything, and I’ve heard that that could mean one or the other is holding something in… But I guess I just trusted us to communicate if something was off. Anyways, his reasons for breaking up felt like a very unsatisfying closure. He said that he thought our relationship was really good, and that I was amazing, but that he felt like looking into the future we were just too different for it to work out. But he didn’t give any concrete reasons except for ‘he never felt any love or anything like that’, anything else he listed seemed pretty minor. We didn’t have a fight during the breakup, and I didn’t cry at all (I was too shocked I think). He also pulled the ole ‘ do you still want to be friends’ question, which frustrates me because I feel like that’s guys’ way of getting emotional support without having to commit. Does it sound like he just got cold feet or was just tired of working at the relationship once the initial months of romance were over? I’m super confused and don’t know what to think…

    1. C

      March 9, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      Thanks Amor for your replies. I’m trying to do the full-on no contact rule now, it’s been just over a week and I haven’t contacted him in any way, I was thinking of just going the entire 30 days at this point, if that sounds good… He hasn’t texted me or called me, but he has liked a picture that I posted and just tagged me in a photo yesterday that was taken a couple days before we broke up. Is this his corny way of getting attention? I haven’t liked or done any sort of fb contact either

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 8:46 pm

      it can be, that’s a good sign.. yeah you can do 30.. make the most out of it 🙂

    3. C

      March 3, 2016 at 3:32 am

      Possibly? I’m not really sure; I felt like we tried to do new things together often, he seemed fine even just a week ago… His schedule has been very busy the past couple months, and I’ve been thinking that maybe our relationship just got put on his back burner. If he was willing to drop the relationship so easily without talking about what was wrong, I’m not sure what to think

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      okay, give him space for now.. maybe another week and then try to talk, if he doesn’t want to talm, then do nc for you, try to heal and move on

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      Hi C,

      could it be that the relationship got boring for him?

  2. Valerie

    March 2, 2016 at 3:45 am

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years. We’ve already lived together (we lived abroad for one year), and when we came back home, we both had to go back to living with our parents until we could afford our own place. The transition has been very difficult and we have both had a hard time keeping things positive in the little time we do get to see each other (usually just on weekends). In December, he ended up breaking up with me because he said he didn’t have time for a girlfriend and he just wanted to focus on work, and maybe he wasn’t sure what love was. He immediately took this back the next day and grovelled for a month telling me how sorry he was and that he was just overwhelmed with everything that had been happening. From December until now, we have discussed getting engaged and moving in together. His parents have told him he needs to move out in 60 days, and we were planning on getting a place together – I brought up making sure that we had an emergency fund just in case anything happens. He proceeded to say that I was being very negative, and that everything has been negative since we’ve gotten back from England and that he should have stuck with the breakup the first time and that I had to accept the reality that the relationship is over. He did this over the phone and refuses to see me in person. I’m not sure what to do, it has been 2 weeks since that has happened. He’s asked me to stop contacting home. So I’m on NC right now. I’ve unfriended him on Facebook, and deleted his pictures from Instagram. His Instagram still has lots of pictures of us, but he’s told his friends that this is what he wants. I’m not sure what to do as my next step.

    1. Valerie

      March 3, 2016 at 1:48 am

      How long should I do this for? Until he contacts me?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 12:14 pm

      Try 30 days first, you can initiate contact after that.. you can check this blog post on what you can do after nc
      The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      Hi Valerie,

      for now continue with nc.. and make it active.. get back on track with yourself

  3. Daysy

    March 1, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months and we recently broke up at the end of January because he said when he went on a trip he realized that he needed time for himself, school, and work and said he didn’t have time for me. After that we didn’t talk for about a month and then I texted him saying that I hated how things ended and things like that and he texted me back that he wanted to text me but didn’t have the nerve to, also said what we had was amazing but he still wanted to be friends so I agreed and we talked for a bit for like maybe 2 week and I always somehow brought up our relationship and he clearly told me we were friends and I accepted that, then I told he some days later that if we are ever going to work things out and he said “this isn’t something I could take lightly & he needed time to think” and I said okay I’ll give you space but then he texted me back saying that’s he still wanted to talk to me, I told him if we could just talk about it in person and he agreed but we never ended talking. He told me he didn’t have anything to say so I told him I was done with trying to work things out because I seen on social media that his ex said she still had a crush on my ex and he responded with hearts so that pissed me off!!!! And from there we didn’t talk at all but then a few days later I texted hime saying that I wish hime the best and if he’s happy then that’s great and I also told him that I can’t believe I lost him but over I was meaning to say that I wish him the best!!! It’s been 5 days since it happened idk if he hates me or just ignoring, having mixed feelings, or idk what’s wrong but he couldn’t even accepted it or say thanks, what should I do???

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Hi Daysy,

      the only thing giid about that is when you start texting he may think you’re just being friendly again… but to make it seem like that, you have to text later on.. maybe after 2 weeks or one month again because if you text right ahead this week.. it would seem chasing

  4. Sophia

    February 29, 2016 at 11:41 am

    My boyfriend of nine months broke up with me. On the same day he broke up with me, he was planning what to do for valentines, and we got into a tiny argument over another subject, honestly, i cannot stress how small they are. But all i know right now is that “he’s done” and constantly shuts me down every time i speak to him, so I’ve left him to it. He cant give me a valid reason as to why hes broke up except that “he’s done”. Its really frustrating and annoying because we were such a strong couple, he is exactly like me. I’m currently trying to do the NC rule, but it is proving difficult because hes convinced me that he doesn’t care. I’m not over this breakup, i don’t understand how you can go from being so in love to i don’t want this anymore in a day. If he truly lost his love for me he would have distanced himself ages ago, i would have picked up on the signs when a guy isn’t interested anymore, yet he was still showing me how much he loved me, it was always in the little things he did that proved he does love me right up until the breakup…. i know he still loves me, he’s putting up a front and i don’t really know what to do…. i just want him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2016 at 10:17 am

      Hi Sophia,

      so after he broke up with you, you remained talking and seeing each other?

  5. Marie

    February 28, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    So I was dating this guy online for a short time and I am moving to the states soon and he lives in the states.

    Everything was good, then one day he was hanging with his friends and then he face timed me, said things weren’t gonna work out?

    He started saying I was an catfish, even though he face times me all the time…

    But an hour before that he was saying how excited he is to see me and how much he wants us to work.

    He then ended the call, blocked me on everything.. I’m just a bit confused?

    Like it all happened so quick and I don’t know why?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 29, 2016 at 1:15 pm

      Hi Marie,

      if he knew you were coming, maybe he got afraid to commit

  6. Aubrey

    February 28, 2016 at 12:13 am

    Me and my boyfriend of almost 9 months broke up around a month ago. He was my best friend, someone I talked to more than even my girlfriends. We did fight often, about stupid things, and often it would get blown out of proportion. But, we would always make up. In December, I found out he had been cheating on me for a while. We broke up, and didn’t speak to each other for a couple of days and then decided to try it again, but focus on each other individually this time, and really just aimed to help each other grow and mature so that our relationship would be much more stable. I couldn’t help but talk about the cheating though. I mean I had every right to be worried. At first he was okay with this, and very understanding. He was sweet. But, I can see how it may become annoying to hear it all the time and have to reassure someone about how you feel. I think he just assumed I’d be over it within 3 weeks, but that’s just not possble… Like, I said earlier it’s been a month tomorrow. I’ve tried moving on and even making plans with other guys, but all I want is him. I miss him like crazy, and I would do anything to get back together with him, and he knows that. Today was my first day on this website, and I have been on it for hours. My friends actually convinced me not to speak to him this whole time, so I have been following the NC rule. He has texted me and I just never replied, but they were texts like “forget about me and my business, it has nothing to do with you anymore”, so after all the crying I did, I couldn’t really think of anything to say back anyway. He has moved on and it is obvious. A couple people have informed me that he has already slept with someone else, which hurts like hell. But, just 2 days ago, after we had both removed each other weeks ago, he added me back on one of my social media accounts, which made me think me ignoring him was working. If you have any advice on what you think I should do it would be greatly appreciated.

    1. Aubrey

      February 29, 2016 at 2:14 am

      update: I was just informed by my best friend that she actually talked to him today and he just wants me to move on, but they are both worried about me and just want me to be happy. So, I think she said he will probably be texting me soon.

    2. Aubrey

      February 28, 2016 at 11:50 pm

      I have been doing it for a month now, not replying to his texts at all. I’m not sure if I should wait a little longer to text him or anything though.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 29, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      Since you didn’t contact him.. you already partly did no contact.. partly because I assume you haven’t focused on improving and getting your self esteem.. So, I suggest do that first..heal first

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 2:54 pm

      Hi Aubrey,

      so basically how many days do you plan doing nc?

  7. Lily

    February 27, 2016 at 11:30 am

    I just broke up with my boyfriend earlier today. Earlier today we got into a fight, leading me to end it with him. Our relationship has gone through many ups and downs and recently he’s been extremely depressed. I have changed my entire being to be with him. Everything he disliked about me, I changed. Every time I changed, he had a new reason to complain about. He says he hates our relationship but loves me so much. When I broke up with him I asked him to say goodbye to me and his response was I’m not going to say goodbye but I love you and didn’t respond. Later in the night, I began texting him because I was upset I ended it. I told him I’m beginning to be depressed with my life too, not only due to him, but because of everything. He responds with “well I’m unhappy too.” I have never expressed my sadness to him before but he always does to me and I always sweetly respond trying to give him the best advice I can, and the one time I want the same, he says “well I’m unhappy too.” I got upset and he said it was due to his hatred for our relationship. He hates how it makes him feel. He also concluded it with “are you happy you ended it?” which i said do you want an honest answer and he replied “I know you are. Bye.” I don’t know if I’d want him back because I’ve been treated like shit recently but I want to know there’s a chance he’ll still want me because i just want the satisfaction of not wanting him back. Do you really think the No contact rule would work in this particular situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      Hi Lily,

      We onlu change our bad attitudes, well, because they’re bad but to change for another person’s approval is not right.. Your’s is a toxic relationship. He doesn’t love you..but he loves how you bend over backwards for him… Do you really want to be treated this way?

  8. Kay

    February 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Hi! I posted a few days ago, but I never got a response. My boyfriend of 4.5 years just broke up with me. We are both 23 years old. He says he loves me and wants to stay, but he would feel guilty about preventing me from having a family (he doesn’t want kids, I might), and he’s worried we are too philosophically different (I’m Catholic, he’s Agnostic but raised Catholic). While he’s been pretty opposed to the idea of kids for a year now, he has in the past expressed strong opinions on parenting styles and ideas for what we would name our kids. When he broke up with me on Saturday, I did everything I shouldn’t have done: I cried, I begged, I apologized, I wrote a sappy letter saying how much I love him. I even asked if we could take a 1-month break and reevaluate after the break – to which he agreed (not sure this was the right move on my part). He’s in the process of moving out of our house (we’ve lived together for a year), and I’m trying to do NC to the best of my ability while he’s still home. What makes this even worse is that he told me he was going to propose in December 2015 and then got talked out of it! What do I do and where should I go from here?

    1. Kay

      April 15, 2016 at 6:30 pm

      Okay, so we are on day 18 of talking. I haven’t been able to get my ex to come with me to grab coffee or anything yet, but he is seeing my (male) roommate this weekend to go rock climbing. I haven’t found a good way to ask my ex to see me yet. Am I waiting too long to try and meet up with him?

      Also, another question: I’m worried that I’m letting our text conversations go too long. I’ve had 11 conversations with him in 18 days. I’ve managed to end the conversation 8 out of 11 times, and he’s initiated conversation 3 of the times that we’ve talked, but I’m not able to implement tide theory as well as I’d hoped. That being said, I’ve never texted him without getting a response, and he seems content to continue our conversations. Here’s what my text counts have looked like:

      Day 1: 4 Texts
      Day 2: No Texts
      Day 3: 9 Texts
      Day 4: 13 Texts (He Initiated Conversation)
      Day 5: No Texts
      Day 6: 24 Texts
      Day 7: No Texts
      Day 8: No Texts
      Day 9: 3 Texts
      Day 10: 4 Texts
      Day 11: No Texts
      Day 12: 10 Texts
      Day 13: 8 Texts
      Day 14: 31 Texts
      Day 15: No Texts
      Day 16: 4 Texts
      Day 17: No Texts

      Thoughts? Do I need to slow down on the texting? Am I doing okay if he’s happy to talk to me? On this last conversation, I failed to end the conversation on my own terms.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 4:21 am

      Hi Kay,

      you should try to transition to calls now, don’t ask for a meet up yet.. just transition to calling.

    3. Kay

      April 2, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      I broke NC on Tuesday. The ex responded VERY positively, and we texted back and forth just a little bit. I made sure to end the conversation after three texts. Waited a few more days, then sent him a text about a funny picture I saw that reminded me of him. Once again, positive conversation, he opened up about a stressful work trip. I was feeling good about my progress.

      Last night, he initiated contact and texted me to ask about work. I told him the day had been stressful for reasons out of my control, so I wasn’t taking it too personally. I then turned the question around and asked him how work was for him that day. That’s when things went bad.

      My ex texted me a VERY long response about how awful work was and how he didn’t feel any motivation to move forward with his career or personal life. He ended the paragraph saying, “To top it all off I am basically seeking solace in the woman that I left because she is clearly better off without me and I can’t hold my shit together.”

      I tried to validate his feelings by telling him that I don’t blame him for being upset, then asked him why he felt I was doing better without him. He said, “you never used to go running when we were together, you seem to be enjoying the company of your friends and socializing more. All I feel like I was doing was bringing you down into my little boring hole where I went to work, came home, ate, watched tv, and slept.”

      I’ve taken the time during NC to work on myself. I started running so I can do a 10K and became more active in my social life. I’m happy with where my life is right now, but my ex is seeing my happiness and feeling like he only brought me down when we were together (which I don’t agree with AT ALL).

      I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I told him that I never felt like he was boring and that some of my favorite memories were when we were doing the ‘boring’ stuff. I’m trying to keep the interaction positive. He talked about how he blamed himself for the lack of adventure in our relationship. I told him not to blame himself because I certainly don’t blame him, and I asked him what kind of adventures he’d want to have in the future. We talked for the rest of the conversation about that and then I ended the conversation and went to bed. What does this mean and where do I go from here?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2016 at 6:21 am

      that’s actually a selfish response from because the more appropriate response is being genuinely happy.. if you can, tell him you used the breakup time to be productive,instead if wallowing in self pity because that’s what you would have wanted him to do because you don’t like seeing him sad.. then invite him,tell him it would fun if he would join you

    5. Kay

      March 20, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      I’m thinking that we probably won’t meet EXACTLY on Day 30 (we both work in the movie industry – both of us work 16 hours a day plus lots of travel), and the first weekend of April I’m already booked to hang out with some friends. We’ll probably meet sometime in mid-April, which will give me more time to implement tide theory.

      This brings me to another point, though: I’m working on a movie right now and they’re asking me to relocate to Los Angeles for 10 months starting in mid-June (right now, I’m on the East Coast). I’ve already said yes to the job, so this relationship, should it work, will be long-distance for nearly a year. Any tips? We were long-distance for 8 months early in the relationship, but things are sort of volatile right now in a way that they weren’t back then.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2016 at 7:56 am

      it’s going to be harder..you have to have money, a plan and make time to see eacb other at least once a monh

    7. Kay

      March 19, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      Woohoo! I’m on day 20 of NC and am feeling good – doing some home renovation projects today. Anyway, I wanted to get your opinion on something: I’m thinking about breaking NC on day 27. It’s not because I’m impatient or desperate, but because my boyfriend is leaving town that day to celebrate Easter with his family (namely the sister who talked him out of proposing), and I worry about her trying to convince him to split. I want to take advantage of the opportunity if it’s good. I would only send the one text (the intro text Chris talks about in EBRP), then I would go into tide theory and probably not send anything else until day 29 or 30 Thoughts? Or should I just wait until day 30 to send anything? If that’s the case, no worries; I’m totally fine with waiting if that’s what’s best.

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2016 at 6:40 am

      Hi Kay,

      If you think that can work like implanting him a thought go ahead, but if you’re going to do tide theory, that means you’ll only do it for two days?

    9. Kay

      March 16, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Uh oh. Bad news. The boyfriend came by last night unannounced while I wasn’t home and grabbed his stuff. I’m fine with him taking the rest of his stuff (because after all, it is his stuff, not mine), but I feel really violated; I feel like he invaded my privacy (and my house was a mess, which is just embarrassing). My roommate (who is technically my tenant because I own the house) let him in and it was my roommate who told me that my boyfriend was over (they’re friends).

      My boyfriend texted me afterwards saying he’d already come to pick everything up (and he gave good reasons), but once again, it bothers me that he didn’t ask me first. I would have been fine with him coming over had he asked. I was civil and texted him back saying, “No worries. Thanks for bringing in my mail. Have a good evening!” I don’t want to fight him on this and totally ruin the relationship over some clothes and a modem. I’m now back to NC for the remaining 13 days. That being said, I made the mistake of venting and crying to my roommate (I’ve tried to not do that in front of my roommate because he and my boyfriend are friends, but I’ve definitely had some slip ups). I have asked my roommate not to tell my boyfriend how upset I am, but I realize that I need to be more composed around my roommate. Suggestions?

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      That’s okay..You’re human.. Spend time with your other friends for now.. and your room mate might even help you out after telling what you really feel

    11. Kay

      March 15, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      So, good news: I stood my ground on the Day 5 text and didn’t respond. We’re on day 16 now of NC and I’m trying to do everything the book is telling me to do (I started running on the weekends, am going out with friends, recently had professional photos taken of me and put them on FB, etc.).

      But here’s the bad news: yesterday, he reached out to me and said he needs to come and pick up the rest of his stuff from the house we shared and return the key he kept. I know Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro says that I do need to respond to those types of messages, so I responded and said he can come pick up his stuff on Saturday if he’d like, and that I’d stacked his mail in the mailbox for him to pick up. Not going to lie, I’m in an absolute panic about seeing him on Saturday. I’m worried he’s going to officially end things with me. I have a roommate and am thinking about being out of the house on Saturday morning when my boyfriend comes to pick up his stuff because my roommate will be there (roomie has already said that, if I need him to, he can take care of grabbing the key from my boyfriend). Thoughts? Should I be in the house when my boyfriend comes or find a reason to be out?

    12. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 3:54 pm

      Well, for me it’s better to take that chance for him to see your improvements physically and emotionally. Be calm. If you can, initiate a conversation by inviting him inside while, he’s waiting for his things and prepare a snack..

    13. Kay

      March 5, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      They’re somewhat close, but it’s all through me. I think he’s reluctant to talk to them because they have been wanting to discuss the separation with them (they don’t understand why he did it), and he doesn’t want to talk about what’s going on with anyone. Is there anything that needs to change in the process because he and I are still in a relationship?

    14. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 5:46 am

      hmm..the only thing that would cha ge is if he really sincerely messaged yoi that he wants to talk.. but other than that.. if he’s just starting a small talk don’t reply

    15. Kay

      March 4, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Alrighty, so I am on day 5 of NC and he texts me asking how my best friend is doing (she recently found out she may have cancer, and he did the photos at her wedding). I’m guessing I don’t respond to this, right? Or because it’s health-related, do I? I’m leaning no, but don’t want to be a jerk about something serious like this.

    16. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 8:34 am

      better not, do they have some form of contact too? You can tell your friend that he’s asking, but tell her not to mention you told him.. if they’re close, they would probably talk to each other, if not he may be using that to start a convo

    17. Kay

      February 27, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      That’s very reassuring. Now, because I convinced him to take a break and we have a set day to talk again, what if anything should I change in the process? I bought Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and have read it, and I realize that my situation might not be typical. Would this be categorized as a general break up?

    18. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 7:59 am

      If he really loves you, he’ll realize that.. That’s why right now it’s more important to heal yourself first while he’s taking his time too.. So, whatever happens, you’re ready..

    19. Kay

      February 26, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      His sister talked him out of it, but I’m not angry with her; she did it for good reasons and was only looking out for her brother. She felt that my family, friends and I were putting too much pressure on him to propose, and she was right. That was a huge mistake on my part.

    20. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 10:32 am

      hmmm okay.. I think you still have a good chance.. the space can help ease of the pressure and also help you re-establish your own life in a way that can help him think you’re not rushing next time if ever go back with each other

    21. Kay

      February 25, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      Also, side note: I tried to get rid of the letter that I wrote him, thinking he didn’t care about it. He ended up knocking on my door later that evening asking where it was because he reads it every night before going to bed. How do I take this?

    22. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2016 at 6:46 am

      Hi Kay

      sorry about your previous comment. I can’t see them too..
      Anyways, who talked him out of proposing to you? If he wanted to propose, and asked for your letter back then he loves you.. When he was about to propose, the reasons he gave you now were not issues back then…

  9. Amber

    February 24, 2016 at 9:48 am

    I’ve been dating my boyfriend or ex boyfriend, I guess I should say, for 7 months. We’ve continued being that on and off couple who constantly fought. Our fights would usually last for 3 hours and we’d be okay but since the start of 2016, it has all gone downhill. We had a breakup that lasted about 2 weeks and I was miserable. He was the first love of my life and I realized I depended on him to give me happiness. I now realize that can push someone away, just like he has realized it also. I begged and begged for him back. After taking the no contact rule advise I got a text from him. After that we got back together, but still continued fighting. Due to my clinginess and my dependence on him for happiness, I pushed him away. He continues telling me he’s not happy with me, but loves me so much. He genuinely wants his future to be with me but I’ve caused him more stressed than anything else (from what he said). I realize this is my own problem and I can’t allow myself to be dependent on him. He said he needs space. This break happened last night and I’ve began begging again. I know I have to fix myself before I can be with him, but he also is going through a depressed state, not only due to me but his life, as well. This break is to make us both better ourselves to get back together, or I’d like to believe. I’m just terrified he’ll be happier without me than with me.

    1. Nicole

      February 25, 2016 at 2:38 am

      I just had the same thing happen with my ex who i dated for four years, however our breakup last several weeks because it was very messy. He moved on a week after we officially broke up with a girl from his work and I didn’t follow the no contact rule (this was before I found this website), and I made a total fool about myself. His new girl even posted a subliminal quote about me on instagram. I’m terrified he’ll be happier without me than with me, as well. Except he has been so wishy-washy the past few weeks where he’ll tell me he wants nothing to do with me, but then he sits there for an 1.5 hours talking on the phone about our relationship. He even called me the next day after that conversation and we talked for 45 minutes because he was really upset and we left the conversation on okay terms. Then, the next day I called him to see if he was doing okay because he has a lot going on in his life right now (his dad was recently diagnosed with cancer), and he totally flipped and freaked out on me for calling? It was the weirdest thing, he just flipped like a light switch. The whole thing has made me lose some self-respect, so I’m definitely doing the whole no contact thing from now on!

  10. Older woman

    February 23, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    I met this guy through my coworker. He was her boyfriends roommate and when my ex saw the picture we all took at the Xmas party he asked her to introduce him to me. He fell in love with my smile. He is 24 and I am 7 years older with children. As much as I have stayed away from men that much younger I still gave my number and he immediately started contacting me. He is in the Navy and from another state but stationed near me. The holidays came and we went back home for a couple weeks but we remained in little contact. The moment he arrived he started messaging me and we arranged a date. I was hesitant about a younger guy. After our first date we saw eachother several times a week. He blew off his friends and would take me to do things like fishing and hiking and would cook for me. I cooked for him all the time and made him his favorite dishes. He said I was worth the time. He did make little time for himself with his friends as I did as well yet I still had the wall up as I was afraid to fall for him and also Once I overheard him say one his term with the navy was over he was leaving back home. I Just felt i was a thing to keep him busy but he continued to pursue a relationship and said he cared for me so much and hadnt felt this way in a long time. We got into out first little arguement after a month and it was over a photo he took that he said he had just taken when the photo actually said the date and location. He apologized and I forgave him in seconds. The next arguement was also small over him not texting me for almost a day and it was because the ship left the dock and there was no way to contact me. The thing was I didnt know so I became worried. So we talked and it ended up being soemthign where he said he couldnt stand fighting and told me he wanted to end it and we didnt talk for over a day and he then texted me apologizing that he didnt want to lose me. The following week it was another dumb thing where I hadnt contacted him because I knew we were both working and my kids ended up being sick. Itexted him real quick and he didnt respond and I saw he was commenteing all over instagram and fb and snap chats. It was upsetting to know he had that time to do that but not text me. We just kept our distance and the following day he texted me and asked if I wanted to still see him and I said it was probly not a good idea. HE said ok, but in a few hours said he wanted to stop the arguement and continue where we left off because I just mean so much to him. He learned my kids were gone for the weekend and wanted to come spend time with me, So i agreed and we worked it out. The next day I posted something on fb with a past experience. He doesnt understand my experienced adult humor and he called me out on it. By this time he and I were not fb friends any more and his friend told him about it. We argued because he thought I was cheating, I explained and told him I havent been with anyone else but he said he just wants to be friends. The next day i texted him and asked if he still felt that way and he siad I am beautiful and attractive and he loves being with me but it just wont work because we have different interest. He said he thought about me all night and misses me so much and thinks friends are all we can be. I said ok. The following day I was so sad and then texted him that “I really dont want to end things and I know you dont either, I miss you and I apologize. Told me he was at the gym and would call me once out. He called me right away and talked for an hour. He said he wanted to settle down soon and wanted a family and thought I was done with kids. I told him I still want a fammily and marriage with the right man. I ve learned from my past relationship what I want. He then said he would be moving back to his hometown and realized once we started arguing we cared too much for eachother and he figured using an arguement would be the way out without hurting em. HE said he stayed up all night hurting over it and didnt want to end it but it has to be that way. He wont move back until 1.5 years but is thinking about not continuing with me. Although after we agreed it was over he brought up how we argued and how he wanted to be friends and develop a relationship from that and eventually get back together and that it would change his mind and still wanted to do things with me as friends. I just said ok. HE texted me good night later on and I did the same. I have been through this so many times. I only date the guys who are players and so predictable that it never hurts when we end it, its so easy to remain friends. Even my ex, the father of my kids are friends. But this guy is too nice and I think his sincerity and affection drew me to him.

    1. Beck

      March 5, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      Hi, me and my ex had been together for 2 & a half years (me-18 and him-20) and throughout this time we had been extremely happy. I even went off to university about an hour away from him in September and we were still happier then ever! – even people were commenting on how happy we were!! Because of this he came up with the idea in January that maybe we should move in together in September for the next academic year – I, happy and as loved up as ever thought this was a great idea.

      Last weekend he decided to tell his parents (whom he lives with at the moment) and they had a few doubts which he said that he would consider but it wouldn’t effect us living together so I was obviously very relieved that it went well. However, 2 days after telling his parents he decided to drop the bomb shell on me (over text) that he can’t live with me next year because of ‘instability where he works’, so taking on a house contract would be hard. Me, obviously heart broken and fustrated, decide to ask for some space until I’m ready to talk about things, but when I finally calm down and decide I want to discuss this after a few hours I find him distant and not wanting to talk – and so the alarm bells begin to ring…

      After a day or so of silence from him I receive a cold, distant text telling me that he wants to take some time to think about what he wants out of his life as he feels he isn’t ‘living life to its full potential’. Then I start to panic and send texts to him telling him how happy we are and why is he questioning his happiness etc etc…

      After a long night of worrying I get a text asking to meet me, away from my family home and just in a stupid lay-by down the road. Me, obviously wanting to talk to him about wtf’s going on I go and meet him.. He was so so so cold, it was like sitting next to a stranger. He told me that he didn’t want to see me anymore, he said that we were at different stages of the relationship because I was keen to move in (which I thought he was too as he was the one that suggested moving in in the first place!) and that he wanted to go travelling for a year to Australia and I was going to stand in the way of him doing that.

      I was so shocked and heart broken, I didn’t know what was going on… within the space of three days I not only had nowhere to live, but I also lost him and he was wanting to jet off half way across the world and not give a shit about leaving me behind! This time last week we were incredibly happy, I don’t know what happened other than he panicked and saw me as a way of getting rid of the panic I guess…

      Please give me some advice on what he’s thinking about how I can win him back!!!!!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 6:53 am

      Hi Beck,

      did you reply to that? what did you say?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      Hello,

      do you consider doing nc or observing him first?

  11. Tallulah

    February 23, 2016 at 10:16 am

    I met a guy on a dating app and we dated for about 2 months. We never talked about going exclusive, but I don’t think he was seeing other people and neither was I. We were still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, and there was never any tension/awkwardness, we always had a great time and I would have liked to continue getting to know him as I liked everything I was learning about him and thought he felt the same way about me.

    During the 3rd month, he began to distance himself. At first, he said he was stressed about graduation coming up soon (he is in grad school and has a job lined up for the fall, but was having second thoughts about it). I told him no pressure, he should take time to figure it out and there was no rush for us to hang out, etc. Then he started to take longer and longer to respond to my texts, although every time he did respond, he would really engage and ask questions and seem like he was interested in how I was doing. He would also confide in me about things he was worried about, which I don’t think most guys would do with someone that they didn’t have feelings for at all. But then a week went by without a text from him, and he finally wrote to say the reason he had been out of contact was that an ex recently came back into his life. He said they were just talking at that point (although who knows about now?), but he felt weird talking to both of us at the same time. He also said he just wanted to take this time to pursue some extracurricular activities, and that he hoped I understood him just wanting to be friends for now. He said it would still be nice to catchup soon, but I don’t know if he meant that? I thanked him for being honest and tried to keep it light, said I would be fine with being friends and he knows how to reach me if he wants to meet up. He didn’t respond further, and it has been 10 days of NC. I’m starting to think he made up the part about wanting to be friends or to see me again.

    Will NC even work since I sent the last text and basically invited him to reach out to me? Was this doomed from the start because of his ex (I don’t know anything about their relationship since we never got to the point of talking about it, but I’m sure it was longer than a couple months…) I know I should move on and focus on myself, and I know I didn’t do anything wrong/there is nothing wrong with me. I’m sure I will be fine since I’ve gone without a relationship for many years, but I am in my late 30s and this is the first time in more than 8 years that I thought I really connected with someone. I can’t help feeling this may have been my last chance to find someone who sparks that excitement in me (or that it will be many years before I find someone again).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 7:08 am

      Hi Talllulah,
      That’s not true… if you met someone on a dating app.. what more in the places that you do something you love?

      To be honest, you really have slim chance especially if they are close ti each other.. and also.. that fun may have to do with the shortness of your relationship… your memories of him are only from the honeymoon period..so it’s normal that it can’t compare to others

  12. Kelly

    February 23, 2016 at 6:32 am

    My boyfriend and I dated a year and two months and I fell head over heels. On our one year he said if we make it to two years he wanted to put a ring on it. He got a job opportunity in Hawaii in which we decided to do a long distance relationship. I found out over time that he talked to his dad about breaking up with me because it would be to hard for a long distance and he didn’t know if I was a forever love. He broke up with me over the phone and we did the nc rule after I begged for awhile. He added me on social media and started liking my pictures and comments. He then ended up telling me if we are ment to be we will find a way back to each other. We got in a huge fight a month ago and I deleted him off everything again.. Just a reminder him and I never had a fight while dating. His parents ALSO LOVED ME AND STILL DO. I go over for dinner like every two weeks still!! It’s been all together 4 months we have been broken up… Is there and chance he will come back to me ?? His past gf he has gone back but not he is in Hawaii far away. His mom tells him a lot that he won’t find a girl like me … :/

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Hi Kelly,

      to make it clear first,
      he’s back with his xhf? and during this past 4 months you go to Hawaii every two weeks?

  13. Tina

    February 22, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    I and my ex boyfriend broke up before 3 weeks and we were in a 6 months relationship and knew each other since more than a year. The reason for our break up was that his parents were not at all ready to accept our relationship and at any cost they won’t do this. They were ready to strike him out of his family and since childhood he is quite dominated by his parents and is scared of them. He loves me but given a situation to choose his parents or me, he has made his decision to choose his parents. He lives in the same building across the hallway and my roomates are his friends so he keeps on hanging out here and we happen to see each other. I have not been talkinh to him since 3 weeks but twice I had to talk for the unavoidable situations that too work related and thats it. Is there anyway that he would regret his decision or are there any chances that we would come back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      How Tina,

      how old is he?

  14. Help Please !!

    February 22, 2016 at 3:35 am

    I saw my ex today and he glanced up at me for a quick second and then kept his head down the whole time. When we broke up his ex which is now his girlfriend tried to make me look bad and I did fight with her (I messed up), but now I’m wondering what it means if he won’t look at me? I still have feelings for him but I’m working on moving on right now and seeing what happens from there.

    1. Help Please !!

      February 24, 2016 at 12:39 am

      Is it any possible chance of getting an ex to talk to you after an extremely bad break up?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 12:08 pm

      It depends on every situation..but mostly it takes time..

  15. enwr the

    February 22, 2016 at 2:49 am

    My ex told me that he likes me as much as he did when we first started dating. However I felt that his liking for me diminished over the last few weeks until the breakup. We have never fought. He said he didn’t feel in love. However I was sure he was in the beginning. In my scenario, would it be possible for him to come back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 9:46 am

      hi

      did you do nc?

  16. Lauren

    February 21, 2016 at 6:36 pm

    Hi my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me out of no where over a month ago. He is in another state for college but long distance was never a problem because I visited him every month. In the first few weeks I contacted him and at first he was nice and we talked normally and he really really wanted to stay friends. Then all of a sudden he was cold and mean and when I asked him if he still wanted to be friends he was like indifferent about it like he didn’t care at all. I stopped talking to him after that for a few days then I saw he posted a picture with a girl (she’s not attractive but he’s dated unattractive girls before) at a party which he never ever went to parties before even when I encouraged him to. Then later he posted snapchats of her so i deleted him bc I didn’t want to see that. That night he deleted all of our pictures and unfollowed me on everything. I texted him the next morning asking why he was being like this and he didnt respond. I haven’t reached out to him since then and that was 11 days ago. I’m so so sad and I don’t know how he could be doing this. He’s coming back into town next week and when he was being nice he said he would like to catch up, but obviously that was before he started being mean and ignoring me. I’m scared of how hurt I’ll be when he comes and doesn’t reach out to me. I don’t know what to do anymore I don’t get how he could be so fine with this.

    1. Lauren

      February 23, 2016 at 1:23 am

      I guess that could be it but I’m not sure. He just seems to be really good friends with this group of girls. And when I contacted him once he said he still looks at my Twitter everyday and is still in love with me. I should not contact him when he comes back? That will be 21 days of nc.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 5:44 am

      yep

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 22, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Hi Lauren,

      frankly, it’s because he has a found a new girl.. it’s more likely that he won’t contact you but i loll PPPf your friends in other social media, then it’s time to do nc and make it prod
      productive..

  17. Rachel

    February 21, 2016 at 7:35 am

    I dated this guy for 2 months and is in love with him. He was nice to me but i broke up with him b/c he was not ready to commit. Now i miss him too much and ready to give him time. I want him back, shall i tell him about my feelings? I love him and want to be with him? Can i call him?

    1. James

      February 22, 2016 at 7:03 pm

      In my opinion you should tell him what you feel and that you are willing to wait i might be right or wrong. A relationship is built on honesty and trust. So by telling your feelings you are being honest with him and your self in my opinion. He might want to come back or he might not simple as that. At least you was honest to him. And i think you should give him and yourself 30 days (no contact period) to calm down after the break. Again i am no expert of this. He might be afraid of his past, And doesn’t want it to repeat. It’s not fair of him to live in the past but sometimes you have to be understanding. atleast wait for the expert to comment before you contact him again

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Hi Rachel,

      when was the last time you talked?

  18. Jane

    February 20, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Hi, I apologize if this is a repeat but I’ve never got an answer. My ex broke up with me 1 year ago. For 9 months after I still begged and we would get together every month, then he’d leave me the next day. Well I’ve been in no contact for over 2 months and still haven’t heard anything from him. He was so mad the last time we talked, even said he’d block me. I don’t want to risk him doing that. He is extremely stubborn. Is it too late for me? I want to talk to him. Does this mean he will never speak to me? It’s way over 30 days now.

    1. Jane

      February 21, 2016 at 2:53 pm

      No I haven’t though about contact because he was so mad last time. His family told me space would work. I have been trying to make myself better these last 2 months but I’m still at a loss of what I should do or if there’s really no chance any more because it’s been this long

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      It’s ok if you initiate contact..have you chosen among Chris’ suggestion of texting style and thought about his interests?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 5:03 am

      Hi Jane,

      I saw your comments was apprived but I can’t find them too.. Sorry about that..
      Have you thought about your first contact texts? And have you been active in the last two months?

  19. Annie

    February 19, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    Hi,
    My ex and I broke up a year ago, we spent months playing back and forward, i would go no contact, he would chase me, he wouldn’t treat me well (he was sleeping with another woman) I would try to play it cool, break and tell him off, then I would go no contact.
    I finally went no contact in before Christmas with the aim of getting over him and leaving him behind, he didn’t text me during no contact (why would he he knows how this goes by now) I discovered he has been in s relationship with one of my friends, but I didn’t react. Then I realised, I want him back, I sent him a text on the 30th day and he replied, I didn’t text back straight away. Mainly because he took a day to reply, I thought I had failed then. Then I text him again, a week later (no contact from him in between) I sent him another text, he replied immediately – I replied he didn’t. A week later he text me about something he had seen on my social media account. I answered (after a few hours) he waited till the next day to text me back, but he did text me first thing, I replied immediately (I was caught off guard). He then text me five days later to give me a heads up about something in work (I’ve recently been promoted and made sure he knows) we had a short conversation about that until he asked me about a bouquet of roses I’d posted a photo of on social media, I told him which friend bought them and he didn’t reply (he’s never liked this friend), I text him a couple of days later again about work and we had a short conversation ending with him not replying to my last text. I’ve seen him three times in work since (I’ve had my hair done, I’ve been working out, I look good!) and he hasn’t text me.
    I guess I’m asking if it’s too late? Should I keep on limiting the texts (by only texting him once a week) I want him to initiate a long conversation so I can arrange a phone call (we’ve never talked on the phone) I know he and my friend have broken up, I know this is good timing for us to move forward, but I can’t figure out if what I’m doing is working or if I should do more to make him miss me and want to talk to me? Do I even have a chance after all this time and everything that’s passed between us? I’ve got ex boyfriend recovery pro and the texting bible but I feel like I need some extra help and advice now please.

    1. Annie

      February 24, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      Thank you for replying.
      The day after you replied, I realised my ex has done nothing but hurt me for a year and I’ve let him. So I text him and asked him not to text me again, we work together so I said in work I’d be professional. He didn’t reply and I knew I had made the right decision (I still do) today we saw each other in work, I said hi and left it at that. He immediately text to say he didn’t enjoy seeing me and thought I’d do more than just say hi. I replied and he did, I then said, if i thought he would fight for me I wouldn’t have made this decision. He hasn’t replied since.
      My question is, would sending a text like I have (asking him not to text me) make him want to chase me? Is this something that men do when they can’t have someone who has clearly been chasing them for the past year? i just want an idea of what I’ll be dealing with while I move on.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2016 at 11:45 am

      It differs, but most of the time it does make them chase

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2016 at 8:06 am

      Hi Annie,

      I think you need to see first if you’re actions is just based on habit..

      This is going to be risky but aleast you get to break the cycle a little bit and you don’t appear chasing him.. Hold it for 2/12 months.. Maintain your looks, do other activities, you don’t have to do no contact, just try to move on.. if you have been busy and productive after 2 and 1/2 months, then at least you know, it’s not just out of habit of wanting him back

      If he talks to you and tries to reconnect during those two months , then good, engage but don’t initiate

  20. Oops

    February 19, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    I actually deleted him from my Facebook friends list because I couldn’t stop looking at his Profile every now and then and I’d always end up getting upset..so how do I go about the whole social media jealousy part?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2016 at 7:41 am

      Have a mutual friend of yours in Fb gonkn a group date with you and some others and with the guy.. so, you can tag you’re mutual friends and post a pic with a guy while doing some activity or while you’re out with him but don’t make it too obvious..no kiss photos.. just a photo beside him will do
      Or if you have othet social media apps connection use that too

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