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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 5

    July 19, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    I screwed up NC… I kinda cracked & ended up having a light conversation with him, it was pretty quick & I was the one who ended it first, there didn’t seem to be any bad tension… I guess I decided to do it because I really missed talking to him & it was hurting, we didn’t talk about anything relationship related or our issues.. I felt that I did it because when I first initiated it, I knew that even if he wanted to message me he wouldn’t because he wanted to respect my space & he knew that I’d probably get angry with him if he did, now.. I’m assuming he’s going to think it’s okay to message me like I messaged him?? & he’ll probably still try to make plans to meet up after getting back home from my 3 month trip in only a little over a week?? 🙁 what do I do now?? Did I completely screw up?? I have to restart the NC 30 day rule again but I’m scared that it won’t help…?? What if he’s already moving on…. Please help :-((

    1. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 7

      July 20, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      I’m going to drop this message here as well because it’s the most recent one, this is his reply to when my friend was talking to him right before he messaged me today because maybe you can make something out of it..? I mean, he seems so set on his decision but he does think of only good & stuff when he associates me…?

      “I like to think I really do know how amazing she is and I can say without a doubt that the year and a half she gave me is worth everything I had and will experience she is honestly just a blessing of a person even to simply be around. She was the reason I don’t regret moving despite everything she lit up so much and that’s something that I’ll never forget no matter what. I’ve killed my head racking my brain about all this but I was blind to realize that it’s as simple as she’s a star shaped piece and I’m just a square shaped hole. There isn’t anything wrong ep with either one but I need to look at it that forcing one another will lead to stress and break and when I finally realized that my world just went down. I think my decision really is the best right now and it sucks how hard it is to get people to see my perspective but I will keep trying. I left in the sense of the future but everything that happened will always be there no matter what because she will always have a special place in my world. I really think did my best and I know people just saw/see me a lot as a hopeless boyfriend but I think I did good too I think for that time I devoted so much and I don’t regret a single one I tried to be the best I could be and in the end if all that did stick with others was that I disappointed her a lot till the very end then that’s just sad. she is an absolutely amazing and wonderful person but I don’t think she chose me in the first place because she saw something in me but rather that I’ve shown that I’m a person capable of giving her happy times and I really wish to believe I did do that. I’m sorry if that was preachy if at all. I want to see her I’m going to see her when she comes I’m counting the days”

      I got happy when he said he wanted to see me but I’m scared because I know it’s only because he wants to say goodbye.. Is there something I can do right now about my situation to make things more in my favor & maybe somehow be able to make him change his mind…?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 21, 2016 at 11:46 am

      first, you have to understand that he already made a decision.. meaning he’s already moving on.. he’s not meeting up with you to try again..as you said, it’s just goodbye..

      the best option is to really just restart nc and complete it but focus in having your own life and improving yourself.. if you don’t have personal growth, if he doesn’t see you as an ungettable girl, your chances of getting him back will remain low

    3. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 6

      July 20, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      Sorry for so many updates but the situation keeps changing, so I did tell you yesterday I cracked & we had a light conversation that went well & I was even the one to end it but I did this before completing NC so I would have to probably start over again right?? Or now is there no use…? My update now is that he actually messaged me right now as we speak, he just dropped a message asking if I was busy but I didn’t open it & am ignoring it for now?? I feel like he’s going to try talking to me about seeing me when I get back from my trip since I’ll be back in around a week?? So yeah, I haven’t done anything or replied to him, what do you think is the best route to do so that I may still have a chance to fix things & make sure he doesn’t y’know just lose interest & move on…?

  2. Taylor

    July 19, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    I came to this sight maybe 6 months ago and decided to do NC, I made it 12 days before giving in and talking to my ex! However everything was going good, so I thought until yesterday when he told me he needed to figure things out in his life in order to progress.. You see we met about a month after divorcing and have been together a year and a half now. I’m wondering if we rushed into things and perhaps this was just a rebound for him. He says he doesn’t want to lose me and he isn’t 100% sure if he is making the right choice my breaking up with me. Do you think it’s best to start NC again? Or is it just a lost cause

    1. Taylor

      July 20, 2016 at 11:11 am

      He is already texting me saying he misses me! I decided to start NC yesterday so no reply…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 21, 2016 at 10:06 am

      Hi Taylor,

      I think you should really give him space.. complete nc this time so he doesn’t go back and forth and that you have a restart

  3. T

    July 19, 2016 at 11:42 am

    So my bf of 10 months broke up with me immediately after a trip we took together to a wedding where he was best man. After 3 days around people i didn’t know I started to get overwhelmed and blew out of proportion something one of his friends said to me, which got me upset. I completely shut down. I owned it, but he was still really angry, and told me he didn’t want to work on us. This was our first fight, and to me, seemed pretty normal. But a couple days later he asked for my key to the apartment and told me he never wanted to see me again. We co-locate, as we work in different cities, and I live with him while not in my city for work, which was every week… So this ended up making this long distance. He’d initially, during the break up, wanted me to get my things out of the apartment but then changed his mind before I could (the next day). That was 2months ago and my things are still there–we haven’t even sorted things we shared. I saw him in person at a coffee shop a month ago where I just thanked him for all of the best parts of our relationship. I didn’t beg for him back, but I told him I really didn’t want it to be over between us, and hoped that in time we could talk. He seemed really engaged and even made inside jokes, but told me he couldn’t get over the events of the wedding weekend.

    There’s been no contact for a month this week, save for me liking something on his Instagram. I’ve taken care of myself, gotten back into the groove of being me, and feel better than I ever have… But he’s such a beautiful addition to my life, and we had the best relationship. I know that he’s had trouble being vulnerable and communicating how he feels (except the intense anger he had during the breakup) but I never questioned his love or commitment to me. The week before the breakup, we talked about kids and meeting family. We talked about moving in together and me changing my work around so I could live there full time. This was all so out of the blue… And weddings give off intense emotions.

    Clearly, I don’t want to break up, so I haven’t bothered to ask for all my stuff back. And NC is almost up. I’m just kind of freaked out about writing the right thing and re-establishing contact. Should I take his not returning my stuff (including the key to our apartment in my city) as a good sign? And since I’ve basically been doing me for this past month, is it normal to feel weird to re-engage? I mean, I do want him (more than I could express), but that anxiety is gone and I basically feel like I’m in a good place–just concerned that his reaction (or lack thereof) may get me all anxious again. I feel like I’m fumbling.

    1. T

      July 22, 2016 at 4:10 am

      Thanks. Even though him joking and complimenting was over a month ago?

      Maybe I’m making this out to be harder than it is, but I felt so blindsided before…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 22, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      yep, even if it was a month before.. don’t think negatively because that will affect how you approach him

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 21, 2016 at 9:05 am

      Hi T,

      if he was joking when you bumped into each other that’s a good sign..it means there’s a chance that he is ready to talk..so,.just choose a topic that will look natural to talk about with him

  4. Ginas

    July 18, 2016 at 11:36 pm

    I think I may have come across as needy when I was worried about a guy I’ve just started seeing, he is in a bad place so I thought If I text him he would think someone cared for him and wouldn’t feel so alone now he has stopped talking to me without any explanation and I’m not 100% if it’s coz of me. I don’t want anything heavy or serious from him and I’ve tried to tell him this but now just feel I may have come across differently to how I wanted to is it possible to sort this out?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 20, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      Hi Ginas

      yes..just do no contact and be busy with yourself

  5. puspoo

    July 18, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Hello . I am puspoo . I broke up with my boyfriend recently . He cheated with me . He always flirt with other girls and he also proposed another girl when we are already in a relationship but I became too much weak on him . This is my 1st love and I really love him very much but when I feel that he is a cheater I broke up with him but he didn’t want to broke up .But he don’t tried too much . when I called him he will say like he loves me . He wants me like this but he didn’t call me . very often he called me one or two time . last few days ago I blocked him from everywhere . I can’t control my emotions anymore . inside I am literally dieing . but he hurt me . Still I want him . I was too involved with him . He don’t try to convince me properly . He just completed his duty to tell me he loves me. nothing much . What should I do ??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 20, 2016 at 9:54 am

      hi Puspoo..
      start actively improving yourself.. I’m assuming you’re already in no contact..focus in improving yourself now and also in doing new things and meeting new people

  6. Sofie

    July 18, 2016 at 1:34 pm

    Hi, we broke up 3 weeks ago and a week after the breakup he got a new girlfriend. i bought the book last Saturday night and was told that might be a rebound. But when i talked to my ex a week after they dated he told me he is gonna marry her and have baby with her. i was so crushed that i looked for help here because the engagment and wedding was planed before we broke up. Today i asked him and he said everything went awesome between them two and she is the one and she understand him way better bla bla bla……. i got more crushed…… it is stupid to ask him about that. Tomorrow i will begin the NC period and i will try my best to get him back, i know it might not work but i have nothing to regret if i tried. so can u please give me some comments up on my sitiuation?

    1. Sofie

      July 18, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      oh wait a moment, he has no Facebook and i have already read the whole guide of EX BF recorvery Pro. i just want to know how seriously can it be, if he just met someone for 2 weeks and want to marry her? that statement of his really crashed me and make me want to give up…..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 7:32 pm

      Hi Sofie,

      he might have just said that to hurt you.. you still have to be active in facebook coz there’s a chance that he will still check it.. just keep the post as natural as possible..

  7. Zoe

    July 17, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    Hi. This info is really helpful, makes sense, and I will definitely follow it…. here on out….
    The problem is I’ve already broken rule #1 – No contact rule. It has been a month since my break-up, and I contacted him once during week 2 and once this last week. Have I ruined my chances if I go back to no contact and follow your rules from now on?? I know I know., you aren’t a psychic.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Hi Zoe

      not totally..but make up for it by really focusing in improving yourself and completing nc this time

  8. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 1

    July 17, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    my boyfriend of a year & a half broke up with me around a week ago, he’s my first everything (literally) & I’ve been devastated, we had a pretty great relationship all around & both of us still think highly of each other & know we will never regret our time spent together, but while I’ve been away on a trip for almost three months & missing him so much, he broke up with me saying he lost affection for me which is why he can’t see himself putting effort into our relationship anymore… throughout our relationship, our fights were always brought up because our personalities clashed, although we had similar morals & values, it was really just personality/interest wise, a puzzle hole & piece that didn’t fit together.. there was never any problems about jealousy & such, we were loyal & trustworthy to each other, I know he didn’t leave me for another girl, he’s never been the stereotypical guy & was honestly always shy, sensitive, honest, but sweet. I’ve heard from mutual friends, he just kinda stays home & doesn’t bring himself out to be with friends, he just watched movies & plays games, etc at home ever since,

    two days after the breakup which was very half assed goodbyes, we tried to get closure on skype because as we speak I am still on my trip overseas, it set our hearts at ease for a bit, although we did say we still cared about each other & still wanted to be in each others’ lives, I later on realized I made the mistake when I agreed that even though we both needed space & time away from each other to feel comfortable again, we agreed we’d reply if the other one messaged & not block each other, just the day after that talk he left me a small message to say hi & to have a good day, even though I was happy to hear from him, I realized I was still being unfair to myself, I told him before he made his choice, that if he stood his ground to leave, I would stand my ground when I said he would never have me in his life as anything ever again, & I was going back on my word by keeping in contact cause he wouldn’t fully realize what he lost if I was still lingering around right?

    1. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 4

      July 18, 2016 at 3:25 am

      Again as of right now I guess I have initiated NC, but did I screw up by calling him out after he messaged me the next day after the breakup telling him that talking to me wasn’t okay & that I really needed space…?? It’s so frustrating cause although I’m working on myself I can’t help but ask mutuals how he’s doing & they say he hasn’t been doing much lately & doesn’t go out with them.. As of right now I’ve also noticed that every time I go online, he’s usually online but he probably notices when I get on & then gets off right away after!! Wtf?? I’m scared, if he asks to see me when I get back from my trip, idk what I should do since I shouldn’t be talking to him at all.. But I’m scared he will already move on & be two steps ahead of me.. Please help..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 12:58 pm

      Hi First love,

      if he says that he lost attraction, then take this time for yourself to make him miss you.. don’t meet him after the vacation right away.. finish nc.. coz he probably thinks you will meet him
      take this time for yourself only.. he’s already moving on because he’s the one who decided to break up since he is losing attraction.. so come from a point that you are going to attract him back,not holding on to what’s left because as of right now, he’s made up his mind..he probably expects you to try to change his mind once again when you meet him..so do the opposite by completing no contact..

    3. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 3

      July 17, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      part of me does want to see him but of course not for the same reason as him because all he wants is a physical goodbye while I still wanted that date he promised me, why should I let him get what he wants when he wont let me have what I want??? I know im not ready to face him, people kept giving me different scenarios, like scenario A, if he saw me again irl he would find affection for me & love me again, but scenario B is also a big possibility, he sees me & realizes he really has lost affection for me romantically already… I thought I was already firm with the decision that I made which was in the end, I just decided to never see him again & not initiate even meeting up at all when I got back because I think he still expects me to notify him.. but of course, im also depriving myself because I still want him in my life & to see him when I get back, please help asap I would appreciate it!!!!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 12:59 pm

      Hi First love,

      if he says that he lost attraction, then take this time for yourself to make him miss you.. don’t meet him after the vacation right away.. finish nc.. coz he probably thinks you will meet him
      take this time for yourself only.. he’s already moving on because he’s the one who decided to break up since he is losing attraction.. so come from a point that you are going to attract him back,not holding on to what’s left because as of right now, he’s made up his mind..he probably expects you to try to change his mind once again when you meet him..so do the opposite by completing no contact..

    5. FIRST LOVE SOS PART 2

      July 17, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      anyways, I called him the day after to tell him how I felt & he said that it was weird to call because we said we’d give each other space & time & I wasn’t doing that by calling, I realized then that what we thought we agreed on wasn’t the same, it seems he thought I agreed with space & time away from the issue but not actually from me & talking to me, wtf??? I thought that was selfish, anyways in the end, I told him again what the consequence was for this choice which is he is depriving himself from me for good, I’m scared I wasn’t able to be assertive enough for myself.. anyways he said he understood what I meant & where I was coming from & I said I needed space & time once again, he still wishes to meet up to give me a few gifts he bought me for when I come back which is around two weeks from now, I didn’t respond, I know now that he will no longer try to message me while using NC, because I called him out on it, he has told a friend that now he’s just waiting for a better time to talk to me again, have I already screwed up my chances to get him back?? if not, please tell me what I should do now to get him back!!! 🙁

  9. Kit

    July 16, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Hi there,
    I was in a non serious relationship with a guy lets call him R, it was quite a brief relationship that I had intended to be just a bit of fun. However after spending more and more time together I realised how good we were together, we share a lot of the same interests, have a similar sense of humour and I was really happy with him. From the beginning we had established it was going to be non-serious, but we weren’t going to see other people. I guess it started to feel more and more like a proper relationship without the label of one. Everything was going pretty well until a couple days ago, you see I still keep in contact with my ex. We broke up coming up to a year ago but we remained friends because he helped me through a really difficult time. He has invited me to go and see him (it was long distance.) When I let R know he responded pretty strangely- he told me he was completely okay with it and if I wanted to be involved with my ex he didn’t mind. This struck me as pretty odd and I reassured him that it was entirely platonic and that it would make me uncomfortable if he was seeing other girls. he reassured me he didn’t want to see anyone else. But then he became quite off and cagey, finally he said he had changed his mind and that he felt like he didn’t want the commitment (he has spoken about it briefly before that he had been in a long relationship with his ex and the breakup had been hard) and would rather be free to see whoever and he didn’t think it would be a good idea to meet up anymore. This was a complete 180 degrees to what he had been acting like and saying before I mentioned the visit with my ex. Which makes me think he was beginning to really like me but is now scared he will get attached and it will just lead to another breakup. Or he was lying the whole time and genuinely just wants to sleep with a bunch of girls :/ but that doesn’t seem like him. Anyways I’ve been left feeling much much more upset then I thought, I’ve been really down, I’m not even excited to meet up with my ex. I really want R to realise he has let go of someone who could really respect him and treat him right, it doesn’t even have to be a super serious relationship. Is there nay advice you could give me on this, our last conversation was an argument and I haven’t replied to him becaue I feel he was being a little cruel. But I do miss him and want him back if possible.

    1. Kit

      July 17, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Thanks Amor for getting back to me,
      R does know I will have to travel to see him, but I have told him many times that it is only to see him as a friend.
      Me going to see him wasn’t the problem he said was the cause of the breakup, but that is what seems to have made him act so differently. I don’t know if he is trying to prevent himself or me from getting hurt in the future. But I think I will stick to No contact, do you think that’s best?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      though we can’t guarantee that no contact will get him back, it’s still the better option

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 17, 2016 at 5:29 pm

      Hi kit,

      does r know that you’re going to travel ling distance to meet up with your ex? did you tell him why? I think the only thing that can change his mind is if he sees you don’t have a relationship with your ex again

  10. Alana

    July 15, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    I haven’t figured out whether we are meant for each other or not, I don’t know. But i do know I care about him so much and I just want him to reach out to me and I want us to be together. We have been on and off again for over a year but he withdrawels all the time and now, the last time we spoke through text was 2 months ago, when I expressed my feelings for him and he just told me I was crazy. So I told him after that my feelings for him dropped instantly (which wasn’t the case but I was caught up in the moment) and I saw him like 2 times after that in group format, I was chillin with other guys while he was there too and he teased me with that but didn’t do anything about it. I don’t know if he even loves me. Should I call him or just leave it up to him, because well he doesn’t take emotional responsibility and doesn’t even let me know where we stand and how he feels. Maybe I should just let him go because it has always been this way, me running after him like crazy, trying to break through this ego walls which he pulls up, I’m done but I miss him..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 16, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Alana,

      hmm what about try to do this one:
      EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

  11. Catherine

    July 15, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    I just realized that my ex unfollowed me instagram. Not facebook or snapchat though. I didn’t even post anything so he actively searched me and deleted. WTF does that mean?! I thought things were finally looking up.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 15, 2016 at 6:50 pm

      HI Catherine,
      Check this one out: EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  12. Niki

    July 15, 2016 at 10:40 am

    Hi,
    My boyfriend of 10 years broke up with me recently due to me cheating on him, it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life. I found out days after we broke up he started sleeping with a co-worker and now he is convicted he’s in love with her? Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get him back the whole time. He would sleep with me and tell me he wants to be with me and do the same with her. I’ll admit I haven’t practiced the “no contact” method at all, I’ve actually gone girl crazy, calling texting etc… The other part of this is before we broke up I was to move away for 3 months for work and since I committed to that I did so. A week ago after this 3 month saga he decided he wanted to be with me. He was going to move here with me and find a job until we went back. Well he saw her the day before he left and is now convinced he’s in love with her, he’s currently trying to find a way back home as soon as possible, he hasn’t even been here 24 hours…Is it possible for him to be in love with someone he doesn’t even know? I know he loves me and wants to be with me but is afraid of things going back to the way they were. I’m at a loss I don’t know what I’m fighting for anymore but I do want to be with him despite everything he has put me through these past few months.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 15, 2016 at 6:26 pm

      Hi Niki,

      I think this is what you should read:
      Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

  13. Kaitlyn Price

    July 15, 2016 at 12:00 am

    So I may seem young but I know what love is I grew up in a house with strong love between my parents. I’m 18. But I have been with this guy for nearly three years, and very randomly he texted me saying that he wanted to focus on college and getting his life set up, because if he can’t provide the lifestyle he wants then he will always feel like a disappointment. The thing is his family is better off than mine, while I honestly don’t care about that, I think his family believes that’s what I’m after. I believe that if your with someone you love then you’ll be happy no matter what and that’s more important to me. He lives in Texas and I live in Colorado, so it’s a long distance relationship. His family won’t let him talk about me and they are always putting out relationship down. While my family loves him. I think the condemnation from his parents is pushing him to make a huge mistake. Both of our families are very religious and go to the same church, and I am sure that we were pretty much “a match made in heaven.” He even proposed and his parents convinced him to call the rings “promise rings” instead. So after a few days after he broke up with me he said he would talk to me yesterday and never did. So I have this huge broken heart and an empty feeling ring and don’t know what to do. Should I ask him what this all about or not talk him till he contacts me? He means everything to me and until a couple of days ago he said I did to him too.

    1. Kaitlyn Price

      July 17, 2016 at 5:43 am

      Thank you!:)

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 17, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      welcome!

    3. Kaitlyn Price

      July 16, 2016 at 2:20 am

      Plus he’s the one who was all invested in the future, and now he said having the future planned out for him freaks him out. which is ridiculous because it was his plans and I had to change my life plans to work with his and I never put any pressure on him about the future. I don’t know he is my best friend, and I would do anything for him.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 16, 2016 at 5:34 pm

      well that’s good…that can mean it’s more if them stopping him to rush things.. hmm..at least right now, you have less to worry about what they think.. focus in yourself and then once you talk again.. take it slow with him.. don’t ask him about the relationship.. heavy talk are better done in person and if not person, it should be when you’ve built much rapport and he’s in the best mood

    5. Kaitlyn Price

      July 16, 2016 at 2:08 am

      Well we weren’t planning on getting married till after college. Because he is going into the air force we were planning to get married before that but after college. His parents know that. But my question is if I should reach out to him and ask why he suddenly changed his mind, or if I should wait till he contacts me?

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 15, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      Hi kaitlyn,

      I think they’re more concerned because 18 is too young to get married, and if you’re right that they think you’re after their money, then marrying un your teens won’t help with your reputation but if they’re open to call it promise then maybe they don’t think that way.. they just don’t want you two to rush things

  14. Nora

    July 14, 2016 at 7:33 am

    hello, I recently broke up with my bf and i really really miss him alot, i guess you could say we were quite inseparable but unfortunately life got in the way. We see each other everyday and his friends tells me that he misses me but whenever he sees me, he looks mad and he completely ignores me and talks to some other girl, sometimes he looks my way to see if im looking. He’s been distant with his friends lately too. He usually walks with his group but now he just walks by himself, always looking sad. I feel really guilty, i just dont know what to say or do because he looks like he hates me yet he’s been telling his friends that he misses me and regrets letting me go. I really want to make things work again cause we’re both not coping very well and we really need each other this time. I know its selfish of me but i would hate it if he finally moved on and found some other girl. What do i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      Hi nora,

      why did you break up with him and do you want to do active nc?

  15. Cara

    July 13, 2016 at 6:12 am

    Chris, Amor, and EBR team….
    I am so HAPPY right now…..you guys are amazing!! I followed Amor’s advice from the day before and sent my ex a text from having been in NC for too long, 3 months and the texting Convo went great!! ( I followed one of the sample texts) and he ended up asking me out!! I am soo happy ….it works, it really works!! THANK YOU CHRIS and EBR team!

    1. Chris Seiter

      July 13, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      I am so happy to hear this Cara!

      You made my day!

  16. Maya

    July 12, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    My ex should have no ill feelings towards me considering he is the one that wronged me in the relationship and him not being able to get over his guilt about kissing someone else is the reason we broke up in the first place. But I’m really nervous that the no contact will just make him forget about me and get over me. Is that a likely possibility?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 13, 2016 at 4:42 pm

      oh, I answered your first comment…it was an accident but what’s more importaant is if you’re actively improving yourself because if not you should restart count

  17. Lauren

    July 11, 2016 at 10:32 am

    Hi Chris,

    I’d really like your advice.

    My boyfriend and I were together for around 10 months – he was the kind who I didn’t want to push for more and thought everything would come in time if I was patient with him.

    Recently a few of his friends have started settling down – getting engaged, having babies ect.

    I then found out that I was pregnant but I knew instantly we weren’t ready and made an appointment for an abortion.

    I wasn’t going to tell him because he doesn’t like ‘drama’ or stress.. He likes an ‘easy life’. But I couldn’t cope with it on my own and needed to tell him for support reasons. I told him yesterday morning and last night he ended things with me. He said that it had opened his eyes that he wanted all that but couldn’t see a future with me, couldn’t see us together in the long run. There’s an age gap between us – he’s 25 and I’m 22 but I’ve just graduated from uni and started my first grad job where as he’s settling down, been in his job for a good few years, is looking at buying a house. He said this was a reason – that he needed to start being serious.

    I asked him if he’d been feeling this a while and he said yes, but I don’t believe him. He can’t put on a front if he’s not feeling something and the last few weeks we’ve been really good and I thought we were making progress.

    Part of me thinks he wants the baby, I never told him I was pregnant I just told him I was having an abortion, I never let the subject be up for discussion and part of me thinks that my confidence in this made him think we were on completely different pages.

    Another thing is I told him this on the day after he’d been out with his friends two nights in a row, he doesn’t deal with hangovers well they put him in a bad mood, he’s very negative and I feel like he made a rash decision based on this.

    When he ended things I didn’t put up a fuss or cry or anything, I told him that I was ready for something serious with him but I was just giving him the space I thought he wanted. I haven’t tried to contact him since and I wont until Thursday – he told me he’d speak to me then as he’ll still take me to the appointment on Friday.

    Do you think we have a chance of working things out?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      Hi Lauren,

      you said you couldn’t cope with the stress of abortion, how would you cope after you’ve done it? Think about this carefully first, because you cannot undo it once it’s done.. you’re both young, but you can’t correct a mistake by walking away from it.. If you can handle it alone, I respect you..

      but you should think about the baby first, if he can’t stand up for you now, it makes him a worse person if he’s just going to be fine with you after you’ve aborted the baby.. it shows he has no remorse.. and if he has, he will more probably not get back with you because of that guilt..

      but that doesn’t mean you have to keep the baby to keep him.. being a parent is a different case

  18. Brooke

    July 11, 2016 at 4:58 am

    Hi Chris, My boyfriend recently broke up with me (like today) and it was horrible, of course. But it was as if he didn’t even care– like it didn’t phase him at all. Our relationship had been circling the drain, but for trivial things like he wouldn’t try to be in this relationship or communicate with me. He would say that he wanted to be with me, but would never prove it. I did a lot of things for him and I felt so unappreciated. My question is this: can someone that was so cold during the breakup realize what they are missing? It was as if it didn’t matter if I was with him or not.

    1. Brooke

      July 14, 2016 at 3:46 am

      I went get my things from him and he didnt say barely two words to me. I then dropped off all his things when he was away at work. It was awful. I have initiated NC, but should I even be hopeful due to his actions?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      hmmm.. you just broke up..it’s more likely that he will really be like that

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 8:50 am

      Hi Brooke,

      that’s actually normal..it’s very rare that somebody will break up with you while being warm and hopeful…

  19. Morgan

    July 11, 2016 at 3:52 am

    Hello
    My ex reached out to me after two weeks of NC–by having his new girlfriend call me from his phone. I assumed it was about returning his stuff that’s still at my house (a ton of it, as we used to live together) so I picked up. I ended up talking to both of them on the speaker phone. I was friendly, asked how they were doing and all. He told me he wanted me to come visit him because he missed talking to me and that he wanted us all to be friends.
    It was a long-distance relationship of sorts. I know you don’t think 100 miles is far, but it can be when it’s two different cities and one person doesn’t have a car and the other one is in school. I simply couldn’t drive there as often as he wanted me to. So he found someone staying with friends down the street from him, and left me for her when I confronted him about cheating. Now, two months later–and two weeks after I stopped being a gnat, and actually started recovering–he had her call me, said he missed me, and that he wanted to hang out. What do I do now? I’m still blocked on his Facebook. I want him back but not as a “friend with benefits.” Apparently, that’s how they started out–at first, she didn’t know he had a girlfriend, then he told her he’d left me and wanted to date her now, but in reality there was a couple weeks when we overlapped.
    I don’t understand any of it, to be honest. And yes, I’m great at hugs, so to speak, I’ve been told that before. But I don’t want to be someone “friend with hug benefts.” I know I wasn’t the ideal girlfriend because I was under a lot of stress and so was he. But I care about him. And apparently he misses me.
    So what do I do?

    Thank you for your website. I nay have learned more about relationships–especially the positive things– since I started reading it than I had from my entire previous dating experience. Perhaps I can do better if I have another chance.

    1. Morgan

      July 11, 2016 at 11:50 pm

      P.S. I was extremely surprised that my ex contacted me so sonn. NC really works! But Now I wish I did not respond, because I’d just started to recover and now I’m back to feeling awful. It doesn’t help that he spoke to me in the presence of his girlfriend–she picked up his phone as she always does. Should I restart NC? I’ll appreciate any advice, because I don’t understand relationships at all

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 8:41 am

      Hi Morgan,

      yes, you have to restart because it was really a conversation.Even though that’s a very good sign, you shouldn’t go there

  20. Joanna

    July 9, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    Hi Chris/Amor,
    I remember read somewhere in one of your many articles which mentioned something about men not talking about their emotions and perhaps trying to act strong by acting like they don’t think about me/miss me(?? -could be from somewhere else/discussion with other male friends of mine).
    My ex and I have a close mutual friend (he’s actually our Cupid haha) and the mutual friend happens to be my neighbor who has a gym and my ex goes there with him. In this article you gave us some bullet points for signs of my ex missing me. I don’t expect my ex to text me or call me anytime soon because I believe he falls into the stubborn guy category and he’s already found a new distraction i.e. Hooked up with another girl (which he told me because he said I should used that as a way to get over him). I’ve started NC for two weeks now but my question is, is there any other way I can tell if he misses me? I’ve asked our mutual friend not to ask about our break up because I feel it’s best to let my ex have his space and time to think about us, is that naive? I just really want to know if there’s a chance of us getting back together especially because he made out with someone not even a week into our break up.

    1. Joanna

      July 11, 2016 at 9:03 am

      I just told my friend not to say anything to him. Im dont know if he has a rebound or not, i was too heartbroken to push on and ask, and i wasnt sure asking my friend to ask him was a good idea, especially if i dont want to suffocate him etc.
      My ex was never social on facebook, apart from the occasional liking of memes etc, but i guess he doesnt miss me because i’ve been posting my whereabouts/social hang out on facebook and he hasnt liked it.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 10, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Joanna,

      he got a rebound? if you really said to your friend to give your ex space so that you want your ex will think about you, he will probably not show in whatever form that he misses you if your friend tells him that..

      other signs might be him liking your posts, unfriending you, appearing more in the areas he would be sure you would be, posting things that he knows will get your attention, being more active in social media when you’re active too

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