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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Yohojami
March 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm
Hi… im jhoy…
me and my bf for more than 2years broke up yesterday (actually its the 2nd time, coz last year we broke up also but got back after 4 months), at first im the one who asked for space coz i feel neglected and appreciated this fast few days, but he refused. But after few fights, arguments, and forcing him to fix the problem, the break up comes from him. He said maybe its the best way for now, he said maybe we really cant fix things anymore, at first ofcourse i cant accept it, i even paniced, cried. But when the converstation gets longer when he keeps on insisting it and saying things like ” i wish you happiness, i wish the best for you and i hope you could forgive me” words, i aggreed even i dont want coz i almost begged but still insist coz he said he is saving from being hurt again. After that break up phone call, we didnt talk or chat again… i didnt do anymove, same as him… but the day after, i found out that he deactivated his fb(that he only made so we can do video calls when he is in his hometown), he even deleted me and my friends on his snap. Unlike on our first break up where i bugged him 167 calls and lots of messages, now im really stopping myself to contact him and talking to him so he will see that im not the same before crawling for him to come back. Do you think there is still a chance that we will be back together?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 12:32 pm
Hi Yohojami,
yes, there is a chance especially if you’re doing the no contact rule now
Sam
March 21, 2017 at 9:18 pm
Hi,
My boyfriend and I had only been dating for 4 months but it was a relationship and feeling we had both never experienced before. we were so perfect for one another and made eachother so happy that things moved pretty quickly. However, everything we talked about there was a mutual understanding of how important and how scary these things were. He told me every day how much he loved me and misses me when we’re not together and we even talked about getting married and having kids very seriously. He told me over and over again how much he wanted to do life with me and how he was so scared to lose me and that he loved me so much. He has trust issues from his previous relationship which has always causes slight jealousy and assumptions that he was aware he was making and aware that it was effecting things and taking away from the good in our relationship. I love this man so much and would literally do anything to be with him. He came and stayed at my apartment for 4 days and things were amazing. just like always. and then he left on wednesday and messaged me and called me every day after that saying how much he loves me and misses me. everything seemed fine. and then out of nowhere on sunday he broke up with me and was a complete asshole about it. It was as if he didn’t care at all. Never did. He said the trust issues were bothering him and he hates the long distance and he just broke up with me and deleted and blocked me off of everything before i could even say anything. the day he broke up with me he facetimed me a bunch of times but then kept hanging up and calling back. and then 2 days after we broke up he did the same thing and would unblock me but then reblock me and keep doing the same thing over and over again on instagram and fb and stuff. I know it is impossible for him to not care at all anymore even if that’s what he is saying becasue things were so good and we loved eachother so much. we hated being apart. do you think if i do the no contact rule that theres any chance he’ll realize he made an irrational decision and miss me and we could get back together ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 12:29 pm
Hi Sam,
yes, it can help increase your chances..
Sadaf
March 18, 2017 at 9:11 am
Hi,
My bf broke up wid me last month , before the broke up every thing was fine he always msg me a lot care about me and he was regularly calling me it was fine we love each other .. but in Jan I was at home and very busy I couldn’t be able to give him time so after I came back from home I was like normal but he was not he was ignoring me after some day I asked him why are you ignoring me he said pls leave me go away from life I don’t want this relationship… I tried to convince him but nothing happened.. then on after a week it was my birthday so again he made me feel special by sending me a big rose bouquet.. I msg him to thank but again he replied we can not be together and pls don’t msg me . After some time I went on travel for 6-7 days he was worried that time one of our common friend told me . Now still he is not talking to me now ..now he blocked me . Please help me what should I do know to get everything normal and to get him back .
Sadaf
March 18, 2017 at 9:12 am
We have been together from 6 years
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 22, 2017 at 2:34 pm
Hi Sadaf,
follow the advice on this one:
Your Ex Boyfriend Blocked You… What Now? (Video)
Michelle
March 17, 2017 at 3:43 am
Hi,
My bf broke up with me last night citing the relationship wasn’t good for long term. We fight too much. Says he still loves me even cried hard. Also, he needs to work on himself he said. He has been through several job losses in our three years living together and is in a lot of debt. He’s very much into being an entrepreneur. A lot of his self worth is tied into how he’s doing financially. Wants to start a new business and I feel he believes the time he spends with me would be better utilized by working on a new business. I’ve always been very supportive of his work. But since he has decided we aren’t working he feels he might as well end it and do the business. He’s 55 and I’m 49. Says he’s doing me a favor. Can I get him back? We live together..how do I deal with all that?
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle
April 12, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Yes, no contact is almost over but I’m fearing super resistance because he deems himself “stronger than most people because they never leave an unhappy relationship”.. He tends to be very stubborn and has a bit bigger ego.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 6:28 pm
don’t think about that.. because if you don’t initiate, then nothing will happen.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2017 at 2:56 pm
Hi Michele,
did you try the advice above?
Meggie
March 17, 2017 at 12:03 am
My ex and I have been dating for 4 and a half years, we were best friends for 4 years before then. Our relationship was great and we really love each other. He broke up with me about 2 weeks ago because he depressed. He says that he still loves me and just wants me to be happy. He also says that he still wants to be my friend and go out to dinner and movies together. He also keeps texting me and trying to pretend everything is normal. I want to be there for him with his depression but I know that I shouldn’t be talking to him if it hurts me. I’m just afraid that he wont talk to anyone else about his depression and I’m not sure what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2017 at 7:26 pm
Hi Meggie,
if he’s not seeing a therapist he should, his family should know too.. just be honest with him that even though you love him, it’s not healthy for you to keep talking to him and then start nc..
because if you keep talking to him, it’s like your empowering his depression that he can friendzone you and use you as an emotional crutch because of it..
Ray
March 14, 2017 at 6:14 am
on the last Saturday I had a fight with my ex and now is boyfriend again on the issue of the long and repeated, he said he was tired and fed up with me with a reason I still have not changed. At the same time he still dig what had happened. After the argument that the length of the text sent by sms, he did not reply to the sms by frequently as usual. Should I have sent 3 4 sms and he only replied succinctly. What should I do? I’m confused thinking whether he want break off to me again or he sulking? help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2017 at 5:21 pm
Hi Ray,
Follow the advice here:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship
Joy
March 10, 2017 at 9:02 am
My boyfriend of 3 and a half months just broke up with me on Monday after a couple of weeks of waining contact.
We met online, met in person the following week, and from the moment we met our relationship took off like a rocket. He was new to town, staying with family while he looked for a job and his own place. official d for hours a day, good morning messages, good night wishes, and flirty AND intelligent conversations. This was only the second relationship both of us, and we expressed our insecurities for lack of experience rightup front. Our physical chemistry was incredible and we had the same kind of crude humor; we just clicked. The relationship continued to progress very fast, and by the 3rd week of knowing each other he was spending Christmas dinner with my family. I began to worry that we were moving to fast seeing as how I was one of the few people he even knew in town that he could probably count on one hand, but alas I let it continue because I was so smitten.
A couple of weeks later, he got a great paying job and a new place all in the same week. Our relationship moral was high, and he asked me to make our relationship official to family and friends; so we did. He began to work long hours, and was often on call because they were short staffed. Whenever we found the time to be together, i would notice that he seemed distracted, tired, and distant. Fast forward another couple of weeks, and I notice that his communication began to thin out. He no longer reached out daily, and if I did so myself, he would engage with me to a point; usually only long enough to complain about his long work hours. Then the final lapse came when I didn’t hear from or see him for almost a week.
We met for coffee, talked for awhile about our hectic schedules, then he dropped the bomb that he didn’t feel that he had the time to make the relationship a priority any longer. He felt stressed out because he was always on call and didnt want me to be marginalized because. We parted ways because I had to return to work, but I was taken aback because our relationship had been nothing but progressive and positive up until this point.
I think we might have moved too quickly, or he might have felt the draw of the chase had ended because I was so available to him while he didn’t know anyone else in in town. We texted a little that night where he sent me 13 rapid fire texts apologizing, giving me compliments, and offering to let me vent. I told him it was probably for the best that we just leave it alone. I deleted him as a friend on FB and changed my status immediately because obviously I was hurt. He still follows my other social media accounts but I’ve temporarily removed them from my phone because the urge to spy was consuming all of my time.
Do you think he just needs space? Should I initiate the NC rule and is there a chance that he could miss me and come back?
Joy
March 23, 2017 at 2:56 am
I am doing much better than I was immediately after it happened, but I still find it hard not having that direct connection to him every day as a friend. We didn’t end on bad terms by any means, but I was still very hurt when it happened. I am trying to focus on myself and my busy schedule. My schedule is actually just as busy as his at the moment while I finish up my last semester of college, but I miss having his friendship as a release to look forward to. Today is day 16 of NC and he has continued to follow my other social media accounts and watches all of my snaps on snapchat. After 21 days, what is the best way to reestablish contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 6:30 am
check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2017 at 1:57 pm
Hi Joy,
how are you now? Yeah, I think you should try nc but just do 21 days..It looks like he’s overwhelmed..
Julie
March 6, 2017 at 6:06 pm
Heyy, i have been in a relationship for 2 years now. And i get upset on silly things at times and end up over reacting but then also I don’t have this ego thing for saving our relationship. Our relationship has always affected his studies and now he is fed up. But sometimes when i text him he just too normal like how it used to be back then but in the end he is firm on his decision. I tried helping him in studies and all. We were perfect you know he introduced me to his family friends and stuff and we faced all the odds and he is just going he has nothing left for me and i have tried not talking to him but in the end after few days i end up texting him. I really need help. Please email me I would really appreciate that
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 2:35 am
Hi Julie,
you can try to email here:
Contact
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Leah
March 5, 2017 at 6:24 pm
Me and my boyfriend had a minor argument in December but it led to us spending a few days apart without speaking at all, we met up to talk and he said that he loves me but he liked being on his own over those few days. We were on and off for about a month as he was unsure if he wanted to be together or apart, I pretty much begged him to not end it and we were both emotional but in the end he said he’s sorry but he thinks we should break up. It’s been 2 months now since he said that and we’ve still spoke almost every day the longest we haven’t spoke is 6 days which was a one off and we met once 6 weeks ago and we ended up having sex. He still tells me he loves me and misses me but just wants to be on his own for now. We were together about 20 months and he cheated on me once but we managed to get past that then this break up came out of no where, I got drunk a couple of nights ago and messaged him saying he broke my heart and I didn’t deserve any of this and so on and now he’s been acting off with me since then and said he’s going to back off.
Do you think there’s a chance we will get back together?
Leah
March 8, 2017 at 2:03 pm
Yes that’s what I was thinking if you think that’s the best next step now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 2:57 pm
yes, it is.. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 7, 2017 at 3:42 pm
Hi leah,
there can be a chance because you haven’t actually stopped talking. You’re just there.. are you going to do the no contact rule?
Jacky
March 4, 2017 at 8:00 am
I broke up with him using text message he did not respond,will I have him back ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 4, 2017 at 6:47 pm
Hi Jacky,
When and why did you break up with him? how long was the relationship?
clara
March 1, 2017 at 2:29 am
Now i in the relationship with my ex after a year of broke off, but he was still in a relationship with his harpy as scandal but only for sex. Both of them admitted their relationship is just for sex addiction. What should I do? just let them do until feel boring or I break up with him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2017 at 8:12 pm
Hi Clara,
I think you need to check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)
Louise
February 28, 2017 at 2:28 pm
My ex and I broke up 6 days ago. We haven’t spoken besides two times where we texted and had to sort some practical things out, where I had to pick up my stuff while he was at work. It was mostly his decision, but we ended it as good friends, even though we were both sad and he was also crying a lot. But he was confused why he was together with me, and afraid he couldn’t make me happy because he is very busy and started to prioritizing other things above me.
Now there is a party on friday we’re both invited to, where there will be a lot of mutual friends. Before we broke up we were both going – but is a good or bad decision to still go to the party? It’s a pretty big party, so I can “get out of the way” if necessary / avoid talking to him and talk to many other people. I kind of want to go if he does, and I don’t want him to think I’m just being sad at home. I’m just afraid that I’ll get sad or jealous, or the NC won’t work if we’ll see each other and quickly say hi. But then again, if I manage to pull myself together and “pretend” to be having a good time without over-doing it, then maybe it would work out? What do u think?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 28, 2017 at 9:16 pm
Hi Louise
go, use it to your advantage. Just don’t initiate contact and don’t initiate relationship talk.
Sarah
February 28, 2017 at 2:17 am
Hi,
This is such a great article and spend and hour read it carefully.
I had been dating with my ex for 2 years. After brake up he said we had a chance of getting back together but he wants to be alone. i think he has a girl he likes but when I ask he said he said he doesn’t want to date that girl. He mentioned that that girl isn’t attractive. But he date her before she dated me. She is much older than him, maybe 15-20 years older than him.
We broke up because I was sick and was too drama inlast six months. I went to his house uninvited while he was with that girl. He was so mad and didn’t open the door. He yelled at me in front of that girl. Since he said he doesn’t want to see me and date me anymore. There is no chance.
After he said he didn’t want to see me, i kept texting and calling him, asked him if I could see him or any chance that we can get back together. He denied. And said no. But every time when I text him that I will stop calling him and leave him alone, he called me back asking what I want. I asked him a chance and he said no.
Last night, we ran to each other at a bar, he was drunk. He came to me, said sorry that he was mean and mad on me. Before I left a bar, he hug me tight and said I am important to him. But when I said, I hope we could get back together. He said nothing then I said, ok I understand it takes time.
Today is the first day i start NC rule. But next Sunday, I will take his parents to have dinner for his mom birthday. We planned before we broke up broke up. And he said yesterday that he will come. We will go to the restaurant he likes.
What should I do when i see him
With his parents and after that? I
Thank you very much for any advice.
Sarah.
Sarah
February 28, 2017 at 9:44 pm
I think after dinner, i will apologize for being needy and clingy. And told him that he was a great boyfriend. However i will say that I accept the brake up and hope he will forgive me. I still have a feeling that he cares as every time I call, he usually call back. But he said he needs time and space for a while. And he didn’t say no of going out.
How can I order a book ? And which one is good for my situation ?
Thanks so much. I will update !
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2017 at 7:50 pm
Go for the exboyfriend recovery premium because it includes access to a private group that Chris and Jennifer gives advise too, along with other private members.
Sarah
February 28, 2017 at 2:22 am
He said to be that I am the nicest person he has ever met and also said that to his mom. He said I had done things that no one had done it before. He put a lot of effort on our relationship butbin last six months, i was so clingy and needy from healt problem.
Thank you very much.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 28, 2017 at 8:17 pm
I think you need to start the count after the dinner, but take this week as practice for no contact period and don’t initiate contact. Check the link below:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That
Beth
February 27, 2017 at 4:09 pm
My ex and I broke up one month ago . I miss him a lot and really feel like I have a chance of getting him back . My gut tells me I do . I plan on starting the NC today . We broke up because we had problems and I kept lying to him . I would tell him I would buy him this and that . An I wouldn’t get it . I done see what I lost and its hurts . We been dealing with each other since 2015 . He doesn’t have a girlfriend yet . I plan on dropping these shoes off I bought for him because he wants them and I was supposed to bring them weeks ago . An I didn’t . But I plan on dropping them off at his job not his house because of the NC . Give them to his coworker or boss to have them give to him . I know I can fix what I had but I just gotta show him I’m not finna be the same girl I was that caused me to loose him . Help ? What should I do ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2017 at 7:56 pm
HI Beth,
that means breaking the nc rule.. if you broke up a month ago, why didn’t you give it during the last month?
BR
February 26, 2017 at 8:44 am
Hey, i have one question what to do. How many of no contact day should i have. My story.. I have two dates with guy..on first date we were on dinner, and we were talking for three hours and then restaurant closed 🙂 than he folow me to my apartment, kiss me on my check and then he said good night, next day he invited me on another date, not day after but two days after.. We were at his apartment cooking together dinner and talking for about 6 hours..we have a lot in common. We also kissed a lot.. He drove me home and told me that he was having a great night with me. But he also told me that he was going for trip for one month on vacation..alone… I understand and he told me that we will stay in touch..and we did..he was sent me a lot of pictures of what he was doing there. And then when he came come he told me that he came home. But he did not tell me immediately that he want to see me..every day he had sport or hanging with friends..and then he invited me on another date at him..he was very tired, i can saw that he was having jet flag..so we were talking and then i went home. He hug me and kiss me. But i felt that something is wrong, he seemed distance to me. After that date he told me that he need some days to deal with his tireness. I alowed him, and i did not call him ot text him for about 4 days and then i text him how he was doing..we became distanted, but anyway
He invited me on 4 date and we met at his apartment. And no, it has nothing to do with sex..anyway..we were talkinh and then suddrnly he told me that he feelt distanced to me and that he is not thinking soo much on me like he wish he was..he told me that he thinks that the resos whas in his trip, because he was there alone.. I said thank you to him..because not many man is like him. Often they ignored you and really do not know what happened, so i really appreciate that,that he was honest and look me in the eyes…i saw that he was a lot looking in my eyes, and look me even if i am not looking at him..i asked him, why are you looking me and he answered that but you are looking at me with those eyes so nice. I guess, he thought that i will be terrible and angry, and i was not..i was polite and smiling at him..Than we said goodbye..we were in a huging position for about 3 minutes, he kissed ne on the cheeck, above the head and when a looked at him, meanwhile we were huging,he kissed me on the lips..and then I went. I was sad,because i really like him. Next day i wrote him a text.. That i respect his decision, but that I am a fighter and that i thing that maybe sometimes we are too rushy in naking decisions..I text him also, what i liked about him, and that before trip we have that sparkle, and maybe if we have each other a chance,we can get this sparkle back if he is also for that. I also adked him, if he would like to go on the trip for one day,next weekend. Because maybe if we were all day together we can get this sparkle back..He replied that he agrees with me, and that he made this decisions for him, and that the next weekend for now is too early for tripa for one day or two..but that he would love to hang out with me sometimes and then we will see how it would be… I text him back that is nice to hear this, and thank you for your answer and i sent him picture of me, from carneval..and he replied that i am really cute on this picture..hr sent me back some skiing picture of him..and then a sent that he should have a great day and then i said goodbye and good night. So my question is..should i start a NC? For how many days? Or should I just wait for some days and then i tried with text method on you site? If i started NC, it is possible that he will forget me? Because we have only for dates, two really good and other not so much after his trip
BR
February 27, 2017 at 4:15 pm
Tnx! But what if he is not on any of social media? He really is not 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2017 at 7:58 pm
There’s a high he would be curious on why you’ have not been texting anymore. So keep being in active. And if not now, he will be curious once you start building rapport. He has to see something in there.
BR
February 26, 2017 at 10:48 pm
Hey, two dates were between 10 and 16 janaury, than on 19 he went on trip for 1 month. And came back on february 14 and two days after we had our third date and one week later our four date..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2017 at 3:25 pm
I think you should only do 21 days.. Make the most of it. Be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 26, 2017 at 9:24 pm
Hi Br,
in how many months did those 4 dates occur?
Andrea
February 25, 2017 at 10:36 pm
My ex and I broke up 10 days ago. He says he wants to be friends but I told him I wasn’t sure about it. I was angry and told him I didn’t want to know anything about him. He said he was going to give me my space and that after some time he would contact me. We haven’t talk since that day and I’m thinking about using the no contact rule. My question is: if he contacts me before a month, I shouldn’t reply? And after a month should I contact him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 25, 2017 at 11:12 pm
Hi Andrea,
you can’t reply during the no contact rule and yes, you can initiate after it. CHeck this one:
Using The No Contact Rule With Brad Browning
Sofia
February 24, 2017 at 9:07 pm
Hello. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Technically, I wanted to break up first and then he just agreed. Before he always tried to convince not to (and I agreed not to break up). We are in long distance relationship until September. We were actually. So after he broke up with me I begged him to come back, but he said that he wants to focus on his study and career right now (university, he worries about admission in there) .He said that he still like me and misses me but he doesn’t want to date me anymore, or anyone else. He feels like he doesn’t want to care about anyone now, he wants to focus on his goals. We are talking right now as a good friends (but I always text him first). He still says that we still may have chance together, but not now and he doesn’t want me to wait for him. But I miss him a lot and it’s so difficult to talk as friends with him. Should I wait until September and meet him face to face ? But what if he will not like me at that time? I’m so confused what to do, how to make him miss me a lot and text me first. I thought about no contact rule, but after our break up already passed 2 weeks. Will it still work?
We had been dating for almost 7 months and we didn’t have such big conflicts or break up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 25, 2017 at 8:47 pm
Hi Sofia,
you’re friendzoned.. do you want to try the no contact rule?
lina
February 23, 2017 at 2:40 am
Me and my ex boyfriend were tgt for 10+ months but he told me he had shared so many happy memories tgt. He told me he had a great relationship with me. We were so good till even days before he officially broke up with me. It came as a really huge surprise.. more like a huge blow.
My ex broke up with me a week plus ago just before valentines. Initially he tried telling me a lot of excuses like money issues and how “i took him for granted” sometimes and eventually he lost his feelings for me. but all these aren’t the reasons.. maybe a little for the money issue. Which i compromised of course, they were minor issues. And of course being the shocked and upset girl i was, i pleaded immediately.. even till one week later. He was still determined to breakup. But at least i got the answers towards the end..
He finally told me that the reason was his religious beliefs. Relatives from both of his parents’ families side told him that we wouldn’t end up well (they predicted we would eventually argue and break up). He told me that he had “seen things over the years that made him believe all those sayings.” He said he is a coward who would give up the relationship so easily. No matter how much I pleaded with him to get him back over that week, and tried to convince him that I would take him back without any blames and overcome whatever together, he just kept saying no, his mind is fixed, and begged me to move on myself instead. Even to the point of telling me eventually that “he doesn’t love me as much as I think”, and “I’m not the girl he wants to marry.”
I stopped persuading him a few days ago. He still contacted me but only for school issues (we are in the same class with two more lessons left and doing the same project but submitting by this week end.) It hurts having to talk to him and he used to sometimes brushed it away with school stuff (after clarifying the break up with me) and now just strictly school stuff.. but it would be no more text contact after the project ends in a few days more.
He told me he “wasted the chance with me” when he broke up with me a week ago but he still said I misintepretated (I thought he wanted a second chance) and continued to rejecte me (heartlessly) even when I said I don’t blame him and would have him back. It’s highly likely that no matter what I do, he wouldn’t come back again right? He’s really fixated on the idea. Even if i begged him or go ahead with the ‘no contact’ for 4 weeks, he still wouldn’t. Even if he comes back, he told me it would just be a half hearted person. And especially with that mindset of the superstitious beliefs, the relationship will be bound to fail since he is quite superstitious…
Why do guys’ love fade after the honeymoon stage and they dont bother to try and salvage?
The woman may try to move on, but there would always be this fear of falling in love for her from now on. They fear falling so deeply in love with someone and investing their life into the man’s, only to discover the man does not feel the same way about the woman. It’s how she dies while breathing and no matter how hard she trys, her life may be back to ‘normal’ but she can never recover from that. The scariest part is not knowing whether you are falling for the wrong person. How sweet, kind or understanding he is or how compatible you both seem to be, you just can’t invest deeply anymore.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 23, 2017 at 8:28 pm
Hi Lina,
so you’re moving on?
Anne
February 20, 2017 at 9:49 pm
Hello. Well my history is complicated. I was with a guy for 7 months. After this his friends made him think that i was not worth it and he chaleated on me,doing a threesom . I was spying his phone and i let him know this. We broke up 2 weeks,we got together back,and stayed for another month. Than he left me. After 2 months he came back to me telling me that he missed me and that he loves me. We decided to get back together since i had feelings for him too. We stayed for two months together and 1 week ago he started to tell me that he is not feeling good,that we are fighting a lot,that he is a man who likes a lot of woman (and he is not,just that his friends make him think this) and he wanted some time coz i was chocking him with the love and affection.we stayed two days without talking and than we talked again,he was telling me that i was his oxygen etc. than i decided to met him one morning. I went and i told him i will give him space and i will not be that clingy,but he started telling that he jad decidet to brake up that he does not want to hurt me etc (but he was not sure) i was very angry so i wrote a letter to him and i went to take all my clothes . I asked him one more time if he was sure about the situation and he replayed yes(even if he looked unsure) . I gave him the letter which was full of anger and i went. Since than he has been calling and texting me for 2 days but i am not replaying. Today he stoped calling me. And i feel strange. I mean i want him back,but i want him to value me and not to be sure that i will always be there and to disrespect me.helpppp. Thinking that he will not call me again or write to me makes me go crazy
Anne
February 20, 2017 at 9:56 pm
Ps: i have to say that i was a doormate and he could do everything to me coz i was the onlyone begging to him and he was playing with my mind all the time,for 1 year and 6 months today.. the other problem is that his mum and his friends doesnt like me coz he told them that i was spying his phone. And he is affected a lot of what their friends say to him or his mum says to him. Thnx in advance
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 10:19 pm
HI Anne,
For me you shouldn’t go back to somebody like that.. it’s an unhealthy relationship, it’s toxic.. check this:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?
Alice
February 20, 2017 at 7:39 am
Hi!
I had been seeing a guy I met on a dating site for about a month. We both started off very cautious as we’d both been hurt a lot in the past but he would do and say things that showed he was very eager like remembering every tiny detail of what I said, sending me sweet messages throughout every day, a surprise visit on valentine’s day, wanting to spend time together frequently, very nice cuddling, telling me I was beautiful and special, wanting to share news and interests, staying up until 6am having deep conversations about anything and everything. I felt like we really built a connection instead of having sparks instantly. He was the first man I’ve dated that actually respected me and made me feel like I was worth something. I eventually started to open up and feel for him in response to what he was doing and saying but I was quite scared. I guess i could say he was coming on quite strong for wanting to “go slow”.
I felt it was appropriate to bring up where we might go with this in the future and he decided to tell me then that he’d been lying about his ex. He told me she’d reappeared and hurt him greatly 6 months before but it turns out it was a only month before. He told me he wasn’t ready for anything serious and didn’t want to hurt me as he knows how much I’ve been hurt in the past so decided to end things. We didn’t have sex at any point.
I really saw potential with him, we seemed incredibly compatible and had a great time every date. I’m wondering what the next step should be now? Obviously I want him back but that’s not what he wants at the moment, or possibly ever depending on if he was being honest with me. I let him know that if circumstances change in the future and he wants to try again (and I’m available) I’d consider giving things another go. He seemed to really want to stay friends though. Should I just go into NC indefinitely until he contacts me? Thanks for reading!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 5:33 pm
Hi Alice,
I think the first mistake is telling him you’re available if he changes his mind.. It’s like saying you’re always available.. And of course he would want to be friends, that’s common for exes. I think you’re his rebound, and now his trying to friendzone you.. So, it will be a second mistake if you stay friends with him now. Check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?