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1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”

  1. Shii

    March 15, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    I have been with a guy for over a year and a half now. Initially when we started, we were only friends with benefits. As time passed, our group of friends merged, and we started hanging out a lot more, and grew really fond of each other. He was madly in love with me, But I only liked him. We got to a point where we weren’t just friends with benefits anymore, and he was in love with me and I din’t mind it. I told him we should date and give it a shot, and he was the happiest person ever. But as we started dating, I started feeling really suffocated and it was too overwhelming for me, so I decided to end things with him. But even after we ended things, we would still talk to each other all the time, and were sexually active with each other. This went on for really long, there were fights in between, but we got so used to each other, we became a part of each others every day life. it was almost like we were in a relationship but without a label. And we never showed interest in anyone else. Then I reached a point, where I said we need to either go all in, or stop this. We can’t keep going halfway. And for some reason, I decided to let go, and it thought it would happen if it was meant to. So I started going on dates with other guys, and he started talking to other girls. But the first time I saw him talking to someone else, I burned on the inside and couldn’t take it. I thought about it for a while, and went back to him and asked him if he still wanted to give it a real shot. He said he was too heartbroken when I said we should move on, and he said it would be really hard for him to like me again, but he would definitely want to because it’s all he wants. The problem is, he didn’t stop talking to the girl even after we decided to give it a shot, and he hid it from me and spoke to her. I got suspicious, and confronted him about it, and found out he changed her name on his phone, and still spoke to her all the time, and said he wants to take a break for a while from me. I felt like I tried everything I could do to make it work. He still says he wants to love me how much he used to, but he’s finding it hard to. My mistake was, I stopped focusing on my work and college, and focused all my energy on him, and on trying to make this work and making him happy. But it could also push someone away and feel like I was invading his space. He also said he wasn’t fully happy or satisfied with me anymore. The tables really turned. Now we are taking some time apart, and i’m learning to focus on myself again, but I’m afraid he’s going to be happy and satisfied without me in his life. I’m so lost and confused, because for the first time in a year and a half, I’ve gone 3 days with absolutely no contact with him, I’ve gone off social media and my phone, I did inform him I was going to do this for a week. I’m really dying to text him or call him, But I know I should give him some space. I don’t know what to do or expect anymore.

    1. Shii

      March 17, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Okay. Thanks so much Amor for listening to me and giving me some tips about it. Means a lot 🙂

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 19, 2016 at 4:25 am

      You’re welcome!

    3. Shii

      March 17, 2016 at 4:26 pm

      But also, I have never asked him to stop talking to her, and nor do I want to. Do you think it’s fare for me to expect them to stop talking because it makes me uncomfortable? Or do I let them be friends, and stay away from that part of his life?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 17, 2016 at 5:22 pm

      of course it’s fair.. if he can’t he should at least be honest with you

    5. Shii

      March 17, 2016 at 4:24 pm

      Alright. Thanks so much Amor. I’ll meet him after a week and see how it goes. I hope things work out well. Thanks so muchh 🙂

    6. Shii

      March 17, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      I haven’t thought about what to do after that. I know it could go either ways, we could end up back together, or end up not being together. If he says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and he’s happier without me, I would totally respect that and try my best to move on from him. but if he does say that he wants to try, I can’t decide if I should be okay with being with him, even if he doesn’t love me as much as he used to, but he still wants to try. Or should I say I can’t do this, because it’s only doing more harm to me than making me happy, knowing that he doesn’t love me as much as he used to. . It’s going to be difficult for me for a while to trust him, because I will remember what he did in the back of my head. This is where I need your help. I need you to help me decide what to do. If we should remain friends even if he doesn’t want to date me. Should I be okay with just trying? But how long will he want to try for? It’s been a month of trying already, and it only ended up like this. Also, he says he only changed her number on his phone because he doesn’t want me to feel bad that they still talk, because I did feel bad every time he spoke to her. He says they got close and they’re just friends. I do believe that to an extent, but it also sounds like a bullshit story and he likes the attention from someone new. I have never once asked him to stop talking to her, and in return I tried to make peace with her so things won’t get awkward for him. I do also feel that he might like her. But I don’t know how true it is. And he always insists they’re just friends. I’m so confused about what to do now. It’s been four days now. Will things ever be simple and happy again? I wish we dint complicate it so much.

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 17, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      To be fair, Let’s say they’re really just friends and he acted out of fear of you getting angry if you found out they’re still talking to each other. Give it a try. Do your best to show that you trust him and try to focus on your relationship only. Be his girlfriend. But if he still talks to her more, then take a break. At least by then you could say that you had given him chance, you had been fair and you’ve seen enough to say that he’s not investing in the relationship as he should be.

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      Hi Shii,

      if you told him you’re going to do this for a week, what’s your plan after that?

  2. Monika

    March 15, 2016 at 6:31 am

    hey Amor,
    so like i broke up with my boyfriend recently say about a week or so ago, and honestly its been hell for me. and my worst mistake was that i begged him and told i was sorry and what not but just doesn’t want to give me a chance at all, after a last time of trying i got a text from him saying “stop calling me, i don’t wanna talk to you”, “move on”. Now i’m literally giving up. He’s so important to me but after what he said to me it’s as like he never cared and doesn’t love me anymore. The worst thing is that i broke up with him one day after our 2 month anniversary reason being he didn’t wish me at all and ignored my wishes to him and on the day he didn’t speak to me the whole day or wish me or anything which of course hurt me and got me pissed off. The relationship was long distance and honestly i can’t let go of him :(. the following day i see a text from in the morning saying that he is sorry for not talking to me for 2 days and giving me a shit 2 months anniversary and it was so cute that part of me was not mad anymore. As i saw the message i didn’t reply because it was really early in the morning and later on i woke up and i saw his snapchats. And really i didn’t wish him morning. And that’s how the fight started. He started saying he didn’t care and that i wasn’t important to him and further into the fight on call he said to me “If i leave you, you’d cry like a baby” and i did do that once because i was so scared to lose him. And really because of how mad i was from the night before and after all that said i got angry and literally the words came rushing out my mouth, ” it’s over”! I tried to call him again etc but all i got was Fuck off. and that night i just didnt bother to get him back, the next day after he calls me saying if i got he’s text and i hadn’t and he told me the text stated that “he was happy that he wasn’t with me and that i didnt give a fuck about the relationship we had” and really he was like you didn’t try but i did and he told me to go away. The same day i tried because he made it sound like he was wiling to give me another chance. Which i did and after all the trying what i got was ” i don’t wanna go out with you again”. i ignored him for a day or two and then he called me asking “how my single was etc” he even called and i was a fool to answer it. After all that i spent endless days crying and thinking how easy it was for him to say he loved me and all and not accept me back for leaving him… he asked me out on a special date and really we have so much in common and i really love him.. please please please help me i really want to get him back.
    i just found this page and i chose to use the NC method but it would really nice to hear from you and see what you have to say.

    1. Monika

      March 15, 2016 at 9:47 pm

      i hope he comes back i really hope it works, sorry if i sound desperate… but thank you so much for that x

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 3:27 pm

      Hi Monika,

      After what he said, show him that you can do it without it and make him regret saying those things, because he knows how much you love him more than he loves you and how much you would chase him. So, be happy, find your own happiness apart from him, be emotionally stronger. I actually think you deserve a guy who would make you feel wanted but I know you want him of course. But for now, make him realize what he’s losing. Focus on you and your happiness.

  3. Shay

    March 13, 2016 at 2:54 am

    My ex and i broke up for almost 6 months now. last month valentines day, my exboyfriend chatted me in facebook and he wants to clear the things that happened to us. like why we broke up, why did i leave him. why did he leave me. sort of that. after that, he said that he wants me back and cried to me. he ask me if im willing to wait until he break up his current girlfriend in a good way. but the thing is its almost a month since we got together but they are still a couple and me as a third party ? i think. when we go to a date and on our way home. i ask him to choose between his girlfriend or I and sadly he chose that girl but he cried when he said that to me. he chatted me in facebook and told me to wait for him. but now he blocked me in facebook T.T should i still wait for him ? or not?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 7:52 am

      Hi Shay,

      Nope.. he’s stringing you along..

  4. Mac

    March 12, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    Hi, I commented on here a few days ago about my ex possibly still having feelings for me. Recently, he’s gotten a new girlfriend. They spend a lot of time together, but whenever I walk past, he draws away from her. I’ve seen them go home together and they seem close, but I’m still catching him looking at me and staring at me. In addition, a friend of his told me that he talks about me a lot and that he seems genuinely sad whenever he brings me up, and that he never shows emotion like that, so it’s really unusual. I don’t get it… help!

    (Please see my previous comment from early March 2016 to understand the full situation)

    Thanks!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 4:49 am

      I did read you previous comment 🙂 Did you proceed to nc? Is it the reason why he’s missing you? I think the new girl is a rebound

  5. Miranda

    March 12, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    I have kind of a unique situation. I got dumped on Christmas, I wasn’t sure why at the time, he just told me I made him sad. I did the only thing I could do, I stopped all contact, it wasn’t easy, it was a really hard thing to do, he was really far away for the holidays, and we go to the same small college. I say unique cause I also did this other thing, I have a mutual friend, a guy friend, he’s in love with me, I don’t feel the same way but we were always good friends despite this, when I started dating this guy who dumped me on Christmas, about a year ago, mutual friend ( we will call him L) took a step back and stopped talking to me, I thought he was jealous and upset so I didn’t want to force him to hangout with me while I was with S ( guy who dumped me on Christmas). Well here is what I did, I went to talk to L about what happened, he was of course very upset, he told S that there would be problems if he ever hurt me, in fact he told me that S wasn’t a very good guy, and I’m afraid I didn’t listen. My friend did some digging for me as he was very close with S as well, S didn’t call me on Christmas, I called him a lot and he didn’t pick up the phone, he just sat there and watched it ring, he let me sit there desperately for 3 days, until he finally called me on the 28th and called it off, the interesting thing is what he did in between the 25th-28th, he cheated. With this girl he told me was a friend, we broke it off once before when he told me he liked her, I gave him a second chance cause he said he was sorry for bringing another woman into the relationship, you see he told her when I got in a fight with him, and she told him that if I was making him unhappy he should break up with me, she also very clearly let him know that she liked him, invited him to party’s and stuff. Well here’s the kicker he slept with her before he actually broke up with me, got drunk and had sex with her, his first time actually, and he’s currently dating her. When he came back to school he had nothing but bad things to say about me, he said he didn’t want to talk to me, told everyone the breakup was a mutual decision, said I was a sad and hateful person, and our friends believed him, except for L. I learned all this from L, S couldn’t even bring himself to tell me, in fact once he found out I was hanging out with L again he got insanely jealous, he deleted me and L on Facebook and gave all of the things I bought him to L with a note saying “you’ve taken everything from me, here’s the rest.” And he texted me, I’d been waiting for it for a month he told me that “it hurt to see his first love get involved with someone as horrible as L” I responded that I knew what he had done and that I’m not dating anyone. I thought it was done with but he seems to get these build ups of guilt because every couple weeks he begs to see me in person, the Friday before valentines day he went a bit crazy, showed up at my work, texted me that “it’s the perfect time to start again” he went looking for me all over campus, left flowers and sticky notes all over my car with my favorite song written on them. But he stops suddenly as well, I think school reminds him of us, he says he’s really happy, but honestly I don’t think he is, last week he was begging to see me, we messaged each other all day back and forth, it breaks my heart to see him like this, he doesn’t look good. Ever since school started there have been smiley faces drawn on the back of my car, among other things, I know it him, if he’s so happy why doesn’t he just leave me alone? It’s setting me back as well. He exhibits somewhat stalkerish behavior, the smileys are creepy and on those desperate days he waits outside my building, I know that he’s been to my work a few times. Talking to him last week he told me I was a very petty person, I told him he was arrogant and selfish, that made him happy for some reason, he then told me that I was ” amazing, sexy, kind, sincere, loving, sensitive, petty.” He says he want to be my friend, he’s still with this girl, I don’t think he actually wants to be friends though, and it concerns me because if he’s truly moved on and is with this person (however horrible she may be) he shouldn’t be telling me these things, not unless he really wants to be with me, the offer has been given, but in my opinion if he really wanted to be with me, he would try a lot harder, and he wouldn’t continue this relationship with this girl. Am I wrong? I told him that I wouldn’t be his friend as long as he was with that girl, he seemed excited about this, asked me if that was a promise 3 times, it felt like I was making a deal. I haven’t spoken to him since then, he still writes stuff on my car, he tries to be nice to my sister. I’m sad to say that I’m still in love with him, and if he can truly change that I would take home back, but I don’t see it, and if he really wanted to be with me, he would move the world for me, what do you think of all this?

    1. Miranda

      March 13, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Armor,
      Thanks for the reply! I’m curious as to what you think about the smiley faces? Have you ever heard of anything like it? he’s been doing it pretty much since school started, even when he was going around saying bad things about me. I kind of think that’s its just as hard for him as it is for me, even if he’s found another girl. My friend L thinks that he wants to keep me around, sleep with a bunch of women, and then come back to be with me, which would be despicable. I wonder why the change of heart he had though? A first I really wanted to talk to him in person, L tried to get him to do so, but S said that if he did we would get back together, and so he insisted he didn’t want to speak to me. Now he’d give anything for me to talk to him in person, but I don’t think that would be good for me.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      If you said he still sent smiley faces when he was saying bad things about you, it can be just because he’s used to using them.. He missed you because maybe he expected you to chase.. L could have point, that’s why he needs to leave the other girl and prove his motives.. and even if you get back together be cautious because when he’s sure that you’re back with him, that’s when you’ll see his true colors.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 4:20 am

      Hi Miranda,

      I’m happy to see someone like you here.. You know you’re boundaries.. you’re right with all you said.. He has to work for you and you have to be the only girl.. You,moving on made him realized he missed you.. But like what you said, he has to prove it and he has to be sincere..

  6. Diana

    March 11, 2016 at 5:13 am

    Hi Amor,

    The thing is, we’re not talking right now. He told me that we can’t talk for 2 months since we want to be friends later on. He told me that calling him just pushes him away. He says it hasn’t been easy for him since he’s been crying everyday and so have I. He told me that if I love him as much as I do, I wouldn’t talk to him. He says hearing my voice just makes his heart ache. I don’t know what to do with it all. I’m trying really hard to work on myself and work out. I know I should take his word, but I just wonder if he’ll really keep his word and talk to me in 2 months. I don’t know if he’ll ever want to see me again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 11:43 am

      If that’s really what he wants, then in a way that’s good because at least you will have time to heal and post every activity you do in time.. whether or not he blocks you, he will eventually check yoir profile and miss you.. actually I think you will talk after two months.. you just need a break from each other

  7. Diana

    March 10, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    I just got out of a relationship with my boyfriend of one year, he’s 18 and I’m 19. We were best friends for 3 years before our relationship. He was always in love with me and I was the one who ended up realizing I was in love with him too, although I told him to take it slow. When we first got in a relationship everything was perfect, we both were very passionate with one another. And then I decided to move in with him and his parents because he lived so far away and his mother said she didn’t mind having me live there. Everything was fine until we started getting into arguments about us not going out on dates like we used to. That eventually settled and we pushed through to make everything alright again. I started to lose trust in him when I realized that his Facebook cover photo was of a previous girl he had been with. The thing is, he’s not that big on facebook, he used to use it often, but when we started to become closer as friends, he started using it less and just hanging out with me. I asked him about it and he immediately took it off, but I was still very angry. I know the picture was a few years old, but it still hurt. During the relationship he treated me like a queen, but my trust in him caused me to lash out in anger. I tried really hard to trust him, but I couldn’t let it go. We had moved into a new neighborhood (with his parents) and I noticed that his mother was just acting very rude towards me. I would let it go, but I finally got fed up when she accused me of my loving him. I told her that I lived him with all of my heart and I didn’t appreciate her assumption. I never raised my cursed or used any profanity, I just finally stood up for myself. Every time something like this happened before, I’d just take it. So much to the point where my ex’s dad would even tell her to leave me alone. Well, back to the story. My ex was starting to do real estate, but he never seemed happy with it. I know he’s very young, but he’s always had a great head on his shoulders. I realized he was getting no where with real estate, so I told him maybe he should look into car sales. I know that his passion is cars and he’s a natural at sales. He didn’t want to at first, but he decided to give it a go and he loved it! I was so proud of him and I made sure to tell him how proud I was whenever he sold a car. He was working these crazy long hours and I started to miss him. I got a job at a local retail store, but only seasonal. I slowly started realizing that this is how it was going to be for a few years. He really wanted to move up to a better position got better hours, but that would take such a long time. I started missing him more and we started getting into arguments about it. Our sex life went down hill a bit. And I had started school and was looking for another job. I was also going through a lot of depression and wasn’t working out or eating right anymore. I only gained 10 pounds, and I’m very petite, but I noticed the difference and that made me even more depressed. I decided to start working out and I pushed myself to hard. I had a heat stroke and went to the hospital. He was at work and he didn’t sound worried when he spoke on the phone with me, so I was upset. We got in an argument and he said he wasn’t going to come since I told him not to. He ended up coming when I told him I just wanted him to be with me. We were having problems then. I was talking to another guy because he would comfort me about situations my boyfriend couldn’t. I didn’t start doing that until my boyfriend started telling his mom all our problems and his friends about an abortion I had a few months back. I was so hurt, but the entire time I held it in and forgave him. He realized what he did was wrong and promised to never do it again. Another thing is, we’d always write each other these long good morning texts, since he was at work, and always ended it with how much we lived each other. We also should say goodnight to each other every night and tell each other about how great our day was and what we appreciated about the day. He always made sure to do it, even if I was half asleep. He was so romantic and loving all the time, but the stress of work and me not having a job, definitely had us at each others throats. I had been thinking about going on a break with him, but when I proposed the idea, he really didn’t want to have that. Then, 2 weeks ago, he calls me while he’s at work and he tells me good morning and tells me he has some hard news to tell me. He told me he wanted to have a break because he didn’t know if he wanted to be in a relationship. He said he didn’t want things to go really bad between us. Of course, I was crushed and asked him if there was anyway I could stay and have a break with him there. He didn’t think so, so I packed my bags and left. He started crying on the phone telling me how much he loves me, but that he doesn’t know if he wants to be in a relationship. His mom even told me that she sees the way he looks at me and he loves me a lot, but she told me to workout and find a job and to show him that I’m doing a lot better. I was glad that she told me that, because I had been planning on it. Except, I ended up leaving some stuff on accident and had to have an uber drop it off. We texted to let the other know when it would be arriving. And then out of no where, my dad has to be rushed to the hospital because of chest pains. I was crying and called him to ask him if he could drop me off at the hospital, he said he didn’t think it was a good idea because he said he would get too emotional. I asked him to please not bring up the relationship, just to be there for me as a best friend. He stayed on the phone with me the whole time and when he came over, I was going to just get in his car and tell him where it was. He told me to wait for him to get out and he hugged me so tight, and called me Banana (my pet name). I was in shock, but quickly tried to calm down. I told him where the hospital was and he asked me if I had had any food to eat, so I told him I wasn’t very hungry. He ended up taking us to McDonald’s and paid for both our meals even though I told him if split it with him. And then when we had our good he kept touching my hand, my leg, my face. He even wrapped his arms around me when he noticed I was cold. I got a call from my parents saying my dad was being released with some prescriptions and to not worry. I was so relieved and told him I should probably head home, but he told me that he wanted to get some gas for his car. When we went in he asked me if I wanted ice cream, but I was too full. So he told me to get some candy. The entire night he had been making such long eye contact and then he would turn away suddenly and signed lime he was choking up. As I’m picking out some candy, he looks me in the eyes, grabs my face and kisses me with such passion. It was amazing, we both smiled at each other and he got me the candy. We were sharing it with each other and he decided he wanted to feed me the candy, while holding me. I ended up telling him that we should go home, but he wanted to so somewhere so we could both have a cigarette. He said he was cold when we got out of the car so he asked me to hold him. And then he started sobbing uncontrollably, and said he didn’t like this break. He said he missed my touch, my kisses, sleeping next to me. I told him that he obviously wanted a break for a reason, so we both had to take this time to think about ourselves. He agreed, and tried to stop crying. I didn’t know what to do but just hold him. At the end of it all, we said our goodbyes and I told him we shouldn’t kiss like that anymore. He blew me a kid goodbye and I did the same (we always did). I ended up calling him yesterday, because I thought about how it wouldn’t work out right now since I want to get a job here and I don’t want to keep moving back and forth. So, I called him up and asked him to see me, but he said we couldn’t. I told him I had been thinking and wanted to start being friends again because I didn’t see it working out at the moment. He was saying, but what if I want to be with you, you can alway
    s move back in. I told him I understand, and I would want a relationship, but at the moment things don’t seem like they should work out anytime soon. I begged him to see me, since I didn’t want to go on a date my friends set up. He said I didn’t have to and I just wanted to see him. It was true. He said he missed me a lot and he wanted to see me, but he knew we couldn’t nectar her end up feeling worse. He told me that it’s not easy on him because the last time he saw me, he cried on the drive back to his house. I understood and told him alright. We both hung up and he kept telling me he loved me, but I told him we should keep it neutral and not say those things to each other. We decided that we’re going to contact each other in two months to try to maintain a friendship. He says he doesn’t want me to be with anyone in this 2 months because he won’t be with anyone. Now I wait. I just don’t know how to go about this. How should I contact him when I can? How do I know I still have a chance with him. He’s my best friend regardless of everything, he has always been there for me and I’ve always been there for him. I’m already making plans on finding a good job over here, I’m going to quit smoking (I’m down to two a day), I’m going to workout with friends, I’m starting school over here in a few months. What should we do when we hang out for the first time in a few months?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:38 am

      Hi Diana,

      Both of you just got tired of the fighting and it can also be because you were living with his parents.. For now, if you’re still talking to each other during this two months be friendly and positive..I think it wouldn’t be a problem for the both of you to meet after it…

    2. Diana

      March 10, 2016 at 6:33 pm

      Oh my gosh, I just saw all the typos! I’m writing this from my phone, so please don’t mind the typos. I hope its not too hard to understand.

  8. Ele

    March 8, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Hi there! Loving these articles!
    I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. I have done the 30 days of No Contact. As you explained somewhere else, He actually texted me during that period. Just once. I was cold, anyway.
    Well, now we’ve already met twice. The first time we spoke about everything, Really everything. I found out he felt the same way I did (mind you, I did not share my thoughts first, he did and it was like hearing me speaking to my friends!). When I say “the same way” I mean that both of us understand why we broke up (we were both in a personal difficult cituation kept fighting mostly because one didn’t have time to deal with the situation of the other because we were looking only at ourselves), and both are not sure if we ever want to get back together. I know I am not sure.
    Now, after this meeting he was very clear. I said I was actually sad that I could not text him from time to time maybe silly things or other stuff (before being together for 3 years, we’ve known each other for 9 so we were close friends). He said “fine” but added that it would be better not to write to him straight away the next day, you know, keep some distance. He said something like “keep it easy”. I agreed. I repeat, it was like talking to myself actually. I was totally fine with it. Surprisingly I even felt very well after this first meeting, better than not seeing him whoich had made me paranoid for a while on him getting someone else. I was really really fine. So I did not text him. Not the next day, or the day after. I did not feel the need to do so. I was really happy on how things went and I was in peace with the world.
    Fun fact, after three days he is the one who texts. Using an excuse. And asking me things, how was my day and you know that way of asking things just to keep the conversation going? like “now what are you doing?” and “what do you do tonight?”.
    Fine I answered and I was, I must admit, a bit flattered that he was the one who needed to hear from me first.
    We texted each other a few times more, we decided when to meet again. We did. It was fine, even better than the first meeting because we did not speak about our relationship we just enjoyed each other’s company.
    And then? BOOM. He is suddenly ignoring the first thing he told me: he is texting me every day (at least one or two texts) and even just after meeting each other! And most confusing of all, he is calling me those little cute names he used to call me when we were together.
    Does he still feels something for me? Is he still confused? Or is he using me for those emotional benefits that he used to have from me during our relationship??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      HI ele,

      I think he still likes you.. you just need to take it slow, so you can observe what he really wants.

  9. Mac

    March 1, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    He dumped me even after we had a really good relationship because suddenly I was “too young” (he’s 17, I’ll be 15 in less than a week). He’d met my dad, we’d been sexually active (though only over text) and then just when we were about to take things to the next level he drew back. He texted me that it wasn’t about me, that I was “awesome”, but that he was uncomfortable having a relationship with someone as young as me. He said he wanted to “still be friends” but I told him I was hurting and needed space. He never responded to that. Now, it’s been almost two months. We go to the same school, and we sometimes make eye contact or whatever. I catch him looking at me all the time. I honestly still have an attraction to him, and I just want to know if he still has one too, or if I’m overthinking this. Does he miss me? Is it hopeless?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 3:40 pm

      Hi Mac,

      That’s actually a good sign of respect from him because the truth is you are young..I know, I know, you don’t want to hear that.. I’m not saying you’re immature.. I’m saying you’re young.. so it’s not hopeless.. for now, let him be.. just like any other person who goes into nc, improve yourself first.
      You have the edge with that because compared to others they don’t have much time because of their responsibilities and sometimes they can’t choose an activity that they really wanted to do because it doesn’t fit their schedule..

      So, like the old people who find, heal and grow themselves during nc..do that too..but in your case..make that the first priority instead of going back with him

  10. Brandi

    March 1, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    My ex and I had been together for 9 months and everything was going great. We’re actually expecting a child together in May! The past two months have been quite stressful on our relationship and I became so wrapped up in focus on prepping for the baby that I forgot to focus on him. He started acting out by being distant more and more. Long story short, he confessed that he had developed feelings for one of his co-workers in the past month and that he needed some time to think things out which quickly turned to them sleeping together. He says that he still loves me with all of his heart and wants things to work but he’s afraid that things will get bad again. I don’t know if this is a cop-out or what. And I really don’t know how to handle the NC Rule since we have a child on the way. Help!

    1. Brandi

      March 7, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      From my understanding, he is torn between his coworker and me. He says he has feelings for this girl but they’re definitely not love. Of course I wasn’t the best pregnant woman. This is my first pregnancy and I was planning on NEVER having kids. I would work a full time job, come home to cook for the both of us, clean up all the messes, do all the housework, and be passed out by 8pm on the couch. So obviously I was a bit irritable when I didn’t have help like I felt I deserved. I’ve flat out told him I’m done talking about our feelings, mistakes, & where we’re headed b/c it’s just one big circle & he hasn’t made up his mind on who to choose. I even told him to go be with the other girl if that’s what’s going to make him happy & it seems like that’s not good enough. Is this just his way of having a pre-baby crisis?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      Yeah.. well you have the right to be feel off after a long day.. plus you’re pregnany..he should doing more of the house chores…. so basically right now..you’re not in nc right? It can be his pre baby crisis..but I know this sounds silly, but try your best to be calm or just not talk to him instead of taking out your frustrations on him, because even though you’re right.. he’ll just use that as excuse to why he’s being distant and looking at other women..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 3:09 pm

      Hi Brandi,

      okay.. If he really lovss you, he should have taken the focus on you and the child.. but what’s done is done.. I hope you don’t mind me asking, have you nagged him? Although if you did that’s understandable because of the hormones.. if that’s what he’s afraid then nc can help to make him think you’re more relaxed now..

      basically, nc in you situation would mean onky talking about the baby for checkups, baby needs and pregnancy needs and not talking about feelings mistakes and relationship

  11. Steph

    March 1, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    So basically, me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago, since then I know that he has been talking to a lot of girls, but he also keeps talking to me and he keeps telling me he loves me and sort of wants me back, but he’s not sure. Since we have the same friendship circle, we see each other a lot when we’re out and he keeps touching me and looking at me and trying to get off with me. We slept together once, which I guess was a big mistake, as now I’m always hoping that something more might happen and we might end up getting back together. He told me that the thought of me being with someone else makes him sick and that he loves me, but then again, doesn’t want to get back with me. What should I do? Is he just using me, or does he genuinely love me? Help! 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Steph,

      he’s not sure…why? how was your relationship before?

  12. any

    February 25, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    no i have no idea what to do 🙁 i still love him but dnt want to beg for his love…. 2days ago he msgd me then i said him " u have so many options of girls to cheat n flirt, then why u talk to me if u dnt have any feeling left for me.. plz do not contact me." then he asked me to block him again i replied "do it by urself" nd still he didnt block me… (no msg yet) i am totally confused what to do 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2016 at 7:27 am

      That’s good that you don’t want to beg.. Think about what you really want too… He’s cheated so many times, as of how he’s acting now, he’s more likely to do it again…. It looks like he even sees you’re okay with it..

      Are you willing to risk gettibg hurt again that way, if yes.. then try to do no contact first… build at least your emotional stregth on dealing with that…
      if not, move on.. You deserve the best..

  13. Dana

    February 23, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    My BF and I were so heavily in love for 1 year (he wrote ever day, called every day, came over every weekend- would tell me our love was unconditional). Through the year we maybe only had 2 fights, and 5 discussions about my feelings of him being a little distant / or me feeling insecure about silly things (but I said them in a discussion way). I also had a “nice” discussion with him about his seemingly jumping from relationship to another (in a nice way again). He got his back up and said “well that’s a red flag” saying I’m at fault for asking. His mom and kids actually verified his timelines on “jump” onto the next. When I brought it up – I asked him if he had unfinished business – maybe? and has he mended from the past in an emotional sense? After that he seemed for months to get a little more distant (in visiting me) but still texted and called every day. One night after I asked him if we could have more “quality time together” – he came over – we had our quality time – then he said he wanted to leave (we spent almost every Sat night together). Needed space. When I asked why – he said “I need to work things out in my head, and maybe I have unfinished business like you said”. I asked him if he wanted to date others – he said “that’s the furthest thing from his mind and I’m not listening he yelled”. Well 1 week went by (I asked him if we were having valentines together the night he said wanted space) he said he wanted a break – saw me in his future, but didn’t know when, and it would be different. 2 weeks went by (I was good with no contact) and he was on a dating site wanting “to date but nothing serious” as his status. I called him on it and really reamed him out. That was the last straw for me since he used 5/7 pictures that I took of him or pics of places we went. I thought that was very insensitive and I called him on it. That’s when he said snidely ” what I do after the fact is non of your business” and said “I’m done” and hung up. So sad. I didn’t see it coming and he did not communicate that he unhappy at all in the 1 year we dated – other than snide comments like “oh that’s a red flag” when I would bring up my feelings. So lost on this one…I told him to never contact me again. But very confused and sad if it was me or him being the demise of the relationship.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 9:25 am

      Hi Dana,

      I think he felt you didn’t trust him… are you restarting nc? If so, finish it.. and also think about if you’re ready to trust him again

  14. any

    February 23, 2016 at 6:27 am

    thanks
    then what should i do to him…? i dnt wnna block

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 6:29 am

      Well, you don’t have to block him during nc.. but if you mean you don’t want to fo nc.. do you have any other ways in mind?

  15. emin

    February 23, 2016 at 12:38 am

    Hello, I really hope i get a reply(: Will try to make it as short as possible. Me and my live in fiance just broke up. Im hurt but things are getting better on my end. We just broke up 2 weeks ago, this is a real break up and i never assumed this would happen. We have a 1 year old son together and have been together for 4 years. He just recently moved out of town for a job/internship, as much as i didnt want him to go i was prepared to support his decision. What i wasn’t prepared for was a break up. We are both trying to finish our degrees, so the move was really shocking to me because i knew i would need help with our son due to nursing school. I chose to support him because he basically took care of all the bills so all i needed to do was go to school and take care of our son. Long story short, a week before he moved i caught him cheating, he told me he was going through alot and he needed my help with things and that the other lady which is older then both of us was capable of helping. He knew he hurt me but continued to talk to her. Whrn i found out i chose to leave our apartment to show i wasnt putting up with the behavior. He seems okay even though he knows were leaving, i love him so much 4 years seems like it meant nothing. After this blow out we have slowly been communicating. He says he loves me but he feels like he is so behind on things right now. Yesterday i had to meet him for him to pick my son up, i have no clue where he is staying when he is in town on the weekends. When i seen him i smiled as much as possible to show him im not miserable but deep down i love hom so much. He isnt the type to express himself AT ALL, it bothered me how seeing us coparent seperately doesnt bother him so i broke down and asked him if he was happy this way. He replied by saying” no im not but however im not happy with myself, i was lonely and chasing other women wasnt filling my void, i just really need to find myself and get on my feet. I haven’t been talking to other women anymore but i am now able to focus and i am now working back out”. Then later he texted”but i do love you” I know this means we are really broken up. But did i mean anything to him? Does he love me you think? He texted me this morning saying he hopes i have a good day. Is there hope for us maybe?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 5:43 am

      Hi Emin,

      I think so, your space for him seems to work.. take it slowly..make him work his way back so, he will cherish you more

  16. any

    February 21, 2016 at 6:30 am

    Comment hey,
    its been 19months since me n my ex bf brokeup.. our families were happy for both of us, he also wanted to marry me. so many times i caught him cheating on me with other girls through msg at last i brokeup we were in a long distance rltnshp. since the day we brokeup he still msg me “how m doing? do i hv a bf?” n all.. i still love him only.. but i think he has a new gf bcz he is a big flirter cheater.. my problem is that when i say i love him n want our reltnshp back, he say its over i dnt have any feelings for u… is it just bcz we are in long distance reltnshp?
    now my question is if he dsnt have feeling for me then why he keep on messeging me seriously i want him back on my life what should i do.?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 2:29 pm

      Hi Any,

      If he is a flirty cheater then that’s the reason why he still contacts you.. He wanta to flirt but not commit

  17. Robyn

    February 17, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    My LDR boyfriend and I were together for 1.5 years. We were just friends in college and reunited 10 years later and started dating. Our lives moved us to different states on the East Coast, but we planned to move, get engaged and get married as soon as he signed a new contract. The distance took it’s toll (LDR for 1 year) and caused some misunderstandings, resentment and bickering. We were unable to see each other for two months and that’s what started the decline. When the time came to make the big move, I had reservations because I needed to get reacquainted and on the same page. I felt like I needed time to make sure we both wanted the same things still. He took this as rejection and wanted a break to focus on ourselves. I pushed because that’s not what I wanted and he ended up ending the relationship and said some hurtful things – he said he has nothing left for us, wants to see other people, he lost hope. I love him more than anything and my gut tells me we are not done, but the unknown is what’s the hardest and those words seem like final words. He truly is the love of my life. We have been no contact for a month. We are both 35 and I don’t know if the texting thing will work in this case, or with him. Should I let him come to me or try to initiate something? Any insight is appreciated! Thanks.

    1. Robyn

      February 18, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      Correct, that would solve the long distance issue, but he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since 12/28/15. I broke NC to say Happy Birthday on 01.19.16 and he responded, but nothing else after that. We didn’t see each other during the 2 months we were apart, but I started to withdraw a bit, questioned things, and just needed to think through and make sure all of the change that was going to happen was what I wanted (just reassure myself). That’s the kind of person I am in most aspects of life anyway. I basically messed it by up by withdrawing and when I understood that, it was too late. He went from asking for space to full on break up. We are soul mates. I know without a doubt he is the one for me. How should I proceed?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2016 at 8:50 am

      That means you have to give him yime until he can talk to you so you can start over

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      Hi Robyn,

      correct me if I’m wrong but once you move you’ll be together right? Would’nt that solve the long distance issue? In this two months you didn’t see other but you talked to each other right?

  18. Holly

    February 11, 2016 at 2:20 am

    My BF and I have broken up for more than a month. In between that time, we have talked a few times. But we never got back together as he has no feelings for me anymore, as what he said. After that, I decided never to bother him again. But 2 days ago he asked me how I’m doing, I said I’m okay. Then he replied and said that it was good to know. I replied thank you. Then he never texted again. Why did he bother to text me out of the blue? and was a very short text convo. I don’t get it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 11, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      maybe he thought about you but doesn’t know how to get the conversation going

  19. KSM

    February 6, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    I will try and make this short…it may not be possible.
    I met my boyfriend about 7 months ago via a pretty unique situation. Army vet who went to the ME to fight against ISIS. I met him thru a friend and we began talking/emailing every single day.

    We fell in love with each other. I literally found my other half. I can actually say, I have never met a man like him nor loved anyone like him.

    While over there he confessed to me he was BP and told me only one other person in his life knew and he was telling me because he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. He is an amazing writer and everyday told me how he wanted to be with me NOW.

    We exchanged pictures and again, talked every single day – multiple times.

    He has been stressing out bad about coming home, because he literally left EVERYTHING to go fight. he left a place to live, truck, belongings, everything…because he has no idea when he would be back if ever.

    Actually to say he was stressed is an understatement. He was pretty much freaking out and I watched the anxiety and stress and freak out from afar, but stood by his side. When we would talk, I would just let him vent and offer a some words now and then and reassurance that I loved him.

    It was finally time for him to come home and he literally was losing it because of fear of what there was for him ‘back home’. Could he find a job in the middle of winter? Where will he live. No money, no family support. IMO, justified fear. But he was way beyond just stressed.

    On his way back to the states, he stopped in my state to finally meet me in person. We had a short time together because the stop over was VERY last minute and I was not prepared.

    During our time together – it as amazing. Not awkward, uncomfortable or anything negative. It was like we had been together for a zillion years. We didnt have sex. But he continually kissed me and showed me affection in some very sweet ways. He would stare in my eyes and I could see the love..rather than just reading the text. It was the best time of my life – w/out even having sex! LOL

    As I dropped him off and before he got out of the car, he gave me a scarf that he had worn daily while overseas. Tons of pictures on his blog and public FB page with him wearing it. We passionately kissed goodbye and told each other we loved each other.

    I drove way crying so hard because I missed him already.

    We talked on the phone before he got on a bus to head ‘home’. He said he would come visit me when he could and that he missed me too and loved me.

    The bus ride home was super stressful and long. Plus he had been traveling for DAYS to get to the US then to my state and now to his state. No sleep, loads of jet lag and all of that compounded with him being BP and literally losing it over what he was going home to.

    The morning of his arrival at ‘home’ I got an email from him. He told me he had a great time with me in person – however, all the feelings he had for me previously, he didnt have anymore. He also, literally told me, he was not physically attracted to me. It just wasn’t there.

    But based on our time together – it totally contradicts that email!! There is no way NO WAY he didnt feel the same or was not attracted. Not by the way we were together. Also in the email he said he wanted us to remain best friends (because we are best friends). He didnt want to lose me from his life.

    Now he is home and still in a state of distress over trying to figure things out.

    But he is distant from me. Instead of saying “I love you” (all the time) he says “I have/feel love for you” (whatever that means).

    I myself am in a state of confusion and distress. I have not gotten out of bed in 3 days (this is how recent all of this is). I have cried so much, I am physically sick. I have not taken a shower in 4 days. I am suffering such grief that I have never experienced in my life. Its horrible.

    We have exchanged a few messages and tomorrow he is suppose to call me – but we have NOT talked about that email because he said he could not handle it at this time.

    Is his ‘rejection’ of me a result of his BP state? Because there is no logic behind any of what he said in the email. None.

    Has anyone else experienced this?

    I can answer any questions that you may have to help clarify anything.

    Please help me. I am at a loss as to if this is his BP acting out – or if i am so ugly he really wasnt attracted even though he left me with his personal possession.

    HELP ME PLEASE!

    1. KSM

      February 6, 2016 at 10:15 pm

      We have barely talked. But he knows I still love him, am here for him and he knows how to contact me. I have gotten a few little texts now and then…but nothing to personal. He is very very distant. We finally talked and he said he was under a lot of stress trying to get on his feet and needed some space and that I was pressuring/pushing him – not my intention but we went from 500mph to a dead stop after crashing into a brick wall. It is hard to just accept the distance and what feels like abandonment.

      He asked for some space. So I have been trying to give it to him. It has been one week since we were together in person and his situation back home is in dire straights. The stress and anxiety and depression he is gong thru is real and my heart breaks for him. But he doesnt want my help…and seems he doesnt want me around. Again, he will send me a random message but the walls are up.

      It is taking EVERYTHING i have not to contact him because we used to be able to talk 24/7 and not its virtualy nothing. Im suffering badly. I dont know what to do. I do not want to add stress. I do not want to pressure him. I want to let him get his shit together at home. But in the meantime, I suffer.

      I love him and want him back in my life like he was.

      What do I do?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2016 at 4:33 pm

      Hi KSM,

      With BP, you mean Bipolar right?

  20. susan

    February 5, 2016 at 9:25 am

    So I did the NC role for about 25 days now, until my ex contacted me yesterday. It wasn’t a “normal” text though where he’d just ask me how things are going, he contacted me because of a ticket for a concert he gave me as a christmas present (he broke up with me 3 days before christmas but we had exchanged presents before, because we both wanted to see our families over the holidays). So he gave me this ticket and a romantic night in another town, when afterwards he wanted us to go see his family. The only thing was that he had also invited a friend and his girlfriend to go to this concert with us. However he only gave me one ticket, while he kept his. Now, after he broke up with me on the phone he told me right away he wanted to have the ticket he gave me back so he could go there with his friend and the guys girlfriend and sister. However I kept the ticket until now. He offered me money for the ticket but I didn’t take it…it just felt like it never really belonged to me. So yesterday he wanted it back because he told me he’d go visit his family tomorrow and would need it back NOW. He offered to come and get it but I just told him I am busy meeting friends and I could just go and drop it at his Mailbox. So I just threw the ticket in, together with the envelop in which he had wrapped it which said “I love you”. I am still hurt and didn’t feel ready to see him in person yet. However as the texting unfolded he asked me where I moved now, how I’m doing and so on. I said I’m doing great, that I love my new job and met wonderful new people (that’s true by the way). Now he would like to meet, but I don’t know what to think. I fear he just want’s to make the cut clear, because I guess he feels like he finally found the courage to look me in the eye and say it’s over (which he couldn’t before christmas even though he told me he didn’t love me anymore). How should I behave or react? Should I just meet him, not give a shit, and tell him how well things are going (they are, except I’m an overly emotional person and tend to cry in stressful stiuations). I’m so afraid to screw it up and to hope for something that’s not worth hoping for. Please reply and give me some advice or hint or anything.
    And thank you for making me smile through your articles, they really helped me so far 🙂

    1. susan

      February 5, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      But won’t I risk losing any chances of ever getting him back? The thing is, I can’t really tell how he feels and if there’s still a chance he’s missing me and that he has thought about me. I tried to post nice things on facebook and instagram but I’m not even sure he ever took notice of anything. Is his texting me a sign of interest or is it just a because he wanted to get his ticket back. The thing I really don’t get is why he contacts me one day before leaving the city and expecting me to hand out that stupid ticket right away. He was the one to initiate the private conversation about where I moved and how things are going..but maybe he was just trying to be polite? He also asked me out but I feel he may just feel bad about the way he broke up with me. Maybe he just wants to make his final cut in person. It was the only time he ever contacted me while NC. And I’m not sure if he was thinking about me or the ticket.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 6, 2016 at 10:28 am

      Actually I think he’s missing you. But even if that’s the case, if you’re emotional, it’s more likely that when you meet you won’t help but talk about your feelings and the relationship status. You can text him politely that you can’t meet in person. But if you want to take the chance, be calm as you can, listen but don’t appear gloomy and all. I’m not saying you should appear all happy but just calm. Be ready for whatever it turns out. Hope for the better and prepare for the worst.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 5, 2016 at 11:04 am

      Hi Susan,

      It’s better if you don’t meet him yet of you’re not emotionally ready

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