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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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amy
April 27, 2016 at 3:39 am
hiya, i separated from my partner 2 weeks ago. unfort i had to stay there until i found somewhere to go. he said he wasnt wanting to tell me about wanting to break up. yet was still reaching out for hugs and was still wanting to cuddle me in bed.he said he wasnt wanting to tell me about it at the same time he seemed eager for me to leave. im confused. we have a son and my ex brings him to see me every 2nd day. i ruined the relationship by accusing him of cheating on me all the time and i feel really really bad about it. i asked him for a hug b4 he took my son home and he did. it was a tight hug but he could have just been being nice. b4 i learned about the NC rule, i would text him asking if he was ok. most of the time he will reply with a ”thumbs up”. he has been diagnosed with depression recently and said he has no emotion towards any thing at the mo. the doctor said its classed as ‘flat line’. the part of depression where you lose emotional feelings about every thing. grrrr, its driving me nuts wondering if he still feels some thing for me.please can you give me some advice. its doing my head in
AMY
April 30, 2016 at 1:50 pm
you are right. thank you for your advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2016 at 9:34 am
HI Amy,
if he’s in therapy.. let him go through it first before talking to him about your relationship.. Because even if you talk now, it’s pointless.. Focus your energy now on improving yourself while he is that doing that for himself too.
jen
April 25, 2016 at 10:04 pm
Me and my boyfriend recently broke up and I’ve just started the NC rule. When we broke up he said he still loved me but he needed time for himself to work on himself and be free and he said he just felt like he couldn’t make me happy. When I suggested a break instead of a split he said he needed to feel like this was for good so it’s not playing on his mind. Anyway, my question is to do with the holiday we have booked. Were meant to go to Greece for a week exactly two months from now and he obviously said he doesn’t want to go. I know this is a very short amount of time but is there anyway that I could get him to change his mind because weve already paid and I really want to go. Thanks x
jen
April 27, 2016 at 2:42 pm
Hi, I’ve unblocked him so should I just wait to see if he tries to add me back on everything? because obviously he still can’t see my stuff because we’re no longer friends on any social media? Also if he contacts me during no contact do I just completely ignore him? because I honestly think he would take that as ‘she’s moving on I want her to be happy I need to move on to’ I’m not sure he’d take me completely ignoring him very well? Thanks for the help
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 5:26 am
hmmm.. he’s the one who asked for time.. so, do you mean he’s expecting you to chase and is that what he wants you to do? because I think after asking for space, you deserve to make yourself happy and not just sulk around.. and it he would still think that way if you pushed to talk because you would annoy him.. if he thinks that way because you ignored him that means his feelings are not really that deep anymore because if it is, he would realize that you’re ignoring him because of request and would feel the need to make it up to you..
so, if he would really think that way, that means he’s just making that a reason to make himself feel better because he has long started moving on.. but also, that means it would be easier to start over nc because he thinks you have moved on.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2016 at 6:19 am
Hi,
It’s better if you unblock him.. and if he doesn’t initiate after 30 days, it’s ok if you do. Check out the blog post I’ll give you so you’ll have an idea what to do after nc.. and with your trip.. don’t think about it too much because you still have a month after nc before it.. If after nc he responds well, then build rapport and attraction through texts and calls so that trip will be like your meet up stage.
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Coco
April 23, 2016 at 2:20 pm
Hello,
me and my ex boyfriend long distance (US – Germany) broke up beginning of february. We were about to get married but we both freaked out and been fighting for almost a month before the break up. None of us did anything bad, but he was terrible mean the day we broke up and said some hurtful things. He also said he never wants to hear from me again. Since that day we’re on NC. I mailed him on his Birthday (no response) , another E-Mail with his tickets i still had ( no response) and a week later he send me money. I was in shock … Money that he promised to send me because the flight that was already booked for march got cancelled after the brek upnbut the money was gone. he said he will pay me back in full. i never expected him to keep his promise…. after two months i almost thought i won’t ever respond the other half for the flight. he send me a small payment saying he is low on cash. i responded that i am financially stable and he the rest is on me. he responded only ONCE saying he is super busy and will pay me back in full like promised.
I answered one more time. But no response. Its been two weeks…. it seems like he gives a fuck about me. over 75 days and he still doesn’t wanna talk or shows any interest… it makes me feel so low…. 🙁 did he never care about me ? i mean how can you just dissapear when you were about to say ” i will” … i don’t understand. And ‘m having a very very hard time to get over and move on… it never took me so long, i usually have no problems to move on but this time, it kills me…
Bridget Harrison
April 24, 2016 at 5:25 am
My advice for you is to get help from the internet, when i had a big divorce problem with my hubby i got in contact with Dr Amigo the online love spell healer and he restored my marriage back on track and today i am happy again. for more info. about him just type on your Google search engine ”Dr Amigo the real online spell caster” i assure you of better answers andf results to your findings thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 4:20 pm
Hi,
yeah, it looks like he’s really determined to move on.. write down fhe reasona why you think it’s harder for you this time.. because sometimes, we know the answer, we just don’t face it
Sydneyy
April 18, 2016 at 10:20 am
Hi,
I need your advice and thinking about writing it here since couple weeks now. He (33) me (32), LDR between Europe and USA, for 4 years (we know each other since 8 years now). Finally we made it to move together, I came to him on my tourist visa. Unfortunatelly these 6 months while I was with him, were just too much of everything. We were fighting way too much (in this time he had lots of stress because of his carreer and I was feeling left by him, and couldn’t really adapt to his environment). I return. This has broken his heart. Mine aswell but I had no choice.
It was 1,5 years ago. During this time, I think he applied on me the NC (I didn’t recognize it until couple weeks ago, when I started looking for help how to find a way to get back with him. I had no idea about all this powerfull rules!).
Last month I was with a vist in USA, in the city where he now lives. On his request, we met. The time with him was just great. Couple times he kind of started tipcs from our past. But I didn’t reacted. Comparing to my behaviour after our break-up I was surprised how patient I was while we saw us now. But I will never forget how my heartbeat raised when I saw him from far on the street. He has now a new gf (which I truly think it’s a rebound, he even said this: “I’m dating someone, but I’m not serious about her”, he also mentioned that “she doesn’t understand his busy shedule and they have fights about it, eg. just last week..” and one or two times he said that “he can’t hang out with her like with me”, “she doesn’t share his interest in cars (while we were watching cars in this moment)”, and also once he put his hand on my shoulder, which he used to do when we were together, and I think he wanted to say something but he didn’t. Also… we supposed to meet just for about 3 hours, but it lasted for 6 hours). The next day morning, surprisingly I recived a short message from him: “it was great seeing you.” And later, during the day he asked to meet again, but I refused, because I was with a friend of mine, and we had plans for museum etc., the day after he kept asking if we want to do something together, but again I refused, because of other plans. Then my holydays were over and since then I haven’t heard from him nothing. The one thing which kept me so strong not to fall in his arm or say anything “needy” was that he is in this new relationship since 9 or 10 months!! which I think is very long time if just for rebound….
I love him. I know that for sure. Eventhough now my life seems to be perfect now (work, friends, etc) and I’m quite busy at work, and sociolizing aswell, but I know that I do want to be with him, sooner or later.
How can I recognize if I have chance to get back with him? Our break-up was horrible (for both of us), the post break-up time was then even worst, because we were constantly fighting on the phone. And I was always too emotional, too needy, and too mean to him. But I learnt from that and I do miss him as person (but not obssesivly).
What kind of sings I should expect and not to missread them?
Since we don’t talk now, it’s easy to keep the NC (it has been 3 weeks now, since my return from holydays) – how long should it last?
Should I make the next step? or just wait?
Is, for US standards, an 9 months relationship still a rebound relationship? (beacause in Europe it is definitely different)
I would appreciate any kind of advice from your side.
Sincerely
Sydneyy
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 3:02 pm
Hi Sydneyy,
that’s too long for a rebound.. you can try to rebuild the friendship when you get to talking again but remember he has a gf.. so take it slow
Harsh Lady
April 17, 2016 at 8:08 am
Hi there! I just broke up with my boyfriend for almost a year. And its really hard on my part since we work in the same company. I asked him to let me go because the relationship give me more pain than happiness but he still comes to my office and somehow tease me like holding my hands and kiss me on the forehead. He even told me I am a good friend and he will miss me but i texted him to stop doing this because it will be hard for me to forget him and that good friends dont kiss. I am too much confused because he said ok when i broke up with him.. He is married and i want out of the relationship but everytime he come and look at me i feel pain and i can feel his pain too…
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 9:07 am
Hi Harsh lady,
you made the right decision..just keep your distance so you’re actions really show you don’t want him back
MP
April 16, 2016 at 6:11 am
Hi.
Year 2009. I had someone in my life, (GD). We were not couple before but we acted like one. I know he loved me. But then one day, he just changed. as in completely changed. December of same year, i decided not to talk to him anymore. I went on vacation with my family. When I came back, I heard that he already have a girlfriend. It caused me too much pain. As in. Anyhow, I moved on. I am married with his best friend whom I met through him as well. He is also married with one kid.
2016, my husband’s family and his are so close that they are always in our home every weekend. We hangout together. But, whenever he’s drunk, he always do something that surprises me. New Year’s eve, he was drunk and just sitting outside the house. I went to check something outside and I saw him. He suddenly held my hand so tight. As if he doesn’t want to let go. but I did. I just shrugged it off. Like nothing happened. And then he did something again, I was fetching something in the kitchen and he knew that I was there. He just popped up from nowhere and next thing i Know, he’s behind me. He pinched my nose (just like what he used to do to me before). I always see him looking at me as well whenever he’s drunk. He always do this whwnver he’s drunk. I should not be confused, but he’s making my mind occupied. Tell me, what is he doing? what is the meaning of this? I love my husband too much.
MP
April 20, 2016 at 5:52 am
I am just thinking that .. MAYBE .. JUST MAYBE .. it’s because we didn’t had a proper closure that’s why I am feeling bothered. But yeah. You’re right. I should not entertain it. Thanks anyway!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 6:13 am
Hi MP,
if you love your husband, whatever he does doesn’t matter anymore, and you shouldn’t entertain it..
Nicole
April 15, 2016 at 11:20 pm
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago because apparently I stress him out too much. He’s 23 and I’m 20, he said that he was tired of taking care of me and tired of worrying about me getting hurt by someone because I’m too passive to say ” no” to people. He was my first boyfriend and the first guy that I have ever love. After the break up he told me that I was the best girlfriend he have ever had and that he hopes that I find I nice guy eventually, but then he goes and blockes me from Facebook and snapchat. Does that means he doesn’t want to do anything with me ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 4:52 am
Hi Nicole,
I think he sees you as being needy.. If you’re going to do no contact.. focus on yourself first.. improve yourself work on being independent not because of him but of course for yourself..
Kim
April 15, 2016 at 9:41 pm
I was with my boyfriend for 7 years ,lived together for 6. Everything was awesome . He was getting distant and I discovered he was cheating on me so I moved out. He said he hadn’t been happy the last two years because I was spending to much time at work, which was true, I did not contact him for two almost three weeks. When I did it was so great we had such a good time he kept telling me how miserable he was how much he loved me and missed me and really did want to marry me (he asked me to marry him a year ago). He also said he never loved any woman like he loved me. Told me he blocked the other woman’s number . After one week he wanted to come over after a really long day I did not tell him no but I hinted it had been a long day. So he says maybe tomorrow or the next day and I agreed. The next day he says we are on two different places and need time because its going back to the way it was. One week later after not really talking to me he tells me hes seeing someone else. Its the one he was seeing before(99.9%). Before I moved out he said she was in a relationship to … I’m so confused I love him and I don’t know what to do . There are other things he has said like how he felt bad after he cheated he just needed a physical release. Am I screwed up in the head for wanting he back or is it just him that’s screwed up. Also I have not talked to him for two weeks ,since he told me he was seeing someone.I
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 4:34 am
Hi Kim,
I think he thought you were going back to being busy and he got afraid but that could have just been settled with a talk instead of going out with somebody else.. Let him be for now, if he really loves you he’ll talk to you.
Tt
April 13, 2016 at 3:34 am
My ex broke up with me, we lived together for a yr, he started dating this girl and still messing aroumd but when he sees me he dodges me, he saw me with a guy once and flipped out? Then said good luck with you and your man have a good life, idk what that means. Is he really done? He hasn’t deleted me from anything..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 14, 2016 at 5:12 am
Hi Tt,
Maybe because he thought you are still waiting up on him..if he really wants, he has to prove it..Otherwise, you have the right to date whoever you want
Amanda
April 12, 2016 at 10:03 pm
Hi,
me and my exboyfriend were together almost 3 years, the last half an year we lived together. We are both 20 years old, he is bit younger. We loved each other very deeply, but when we moved in, things got complicated and probably too serious, he tried to broke up with me before during the last half an year, but then eventually we sticked together. But one month ago he did it and broke up with me. After that we tried NC, but after one week because of mine bad health condition we got in touch and since then he wrote me to check on me and we met several times. Which was sometimes positive, then confusing and then we got into a little bit an argument and he told me that he doesn´t love me anymore. (Even though he texted me again right after apologizing) He seems really confused in his life right now. After that I decided to go for NC and told him that I needed space.
Do you think that it is too late for NC to be effective? How long should it be? Will he during that time move on and got used to live without me?
Amanda
April 14, 2016 at 8:30 pm
But can NC be still effective?
And how do I know, if he still loves me?
I´m just afraid that he will move on during that time (but NC is recommended for 21-90 days, is it right?)
I want him to move on from the pain, so he can remembers all the good things but not to move on and forget about me. And get used to be without me.
How high is the possibility in this situation.
Thanks for you answer
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 17, 2016 at 2:40 pm
actually it’s 21-60 days.. because 66 days is making or breaking a habit. If he really loves you, he will make an effort for you.. You’re together for 3 years.. which is not easy to forget.. unless he was already moving on when you were still together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 14, 2016 at 1:25 am
Hi Amanda,
to be honest..he’s probably more used being without you coz he broke up with you..what’s more important is to try to influence his view about you by improving yourself, looking like you’re moving on and looking your best self and also being more emotionally independent… try to focus on yourself first for a month before rebuilding rapport with him
Frances Smith
April 5, 2016 at 2:27 pm
So here it is. I’m 19, ex is also 19. We were high school sweethearts, dating since sophomore year of HS and we are currently in our freshman year of college. Our relationship was serious and we loved each other very much, but as time went on it became more of a “friend” type of love instead of “romantically”. Last semester was such an emotional roller coaster; he told me numerous times that he was having doubts of whether we should be together or not, that he was unsure if he wanted this anymore. I felt devastated, naturally, thinking, “How could he throw away our relationship just like that?” Well ultimately we decided to stick it out at the end of the semester because “it was only due to distance and he’ll be closer next school year”. Spring semester comes rolling by and our relationship has become even more stale. I decided to break up with him the Thursday before Easter and although he was crying, he said I was doing the right thing. I asked him why he said that and his reply was that he loved me…but not in the way a boyfriend should. After that I immediately went NC, but about a week later he was apparently texting my sister and she encouraged him to talk to me, so he sent a text asking if I wanted to hang out during the summer and me being a blob of emotional jelly, replied with a “Why?”, to which he replied with a because I miss you. My sister showed me their texts and she asked him if he still loved me romantically, he said he loved me, but didn’t clarify HOW, but was unsure if he wanted to get back together. He then told me that if we were to ever get back together, he wouldn’t feel “lovey” towards me AND that he also doesn’t want to be just friends. Then I said, “Then why do you want to hang out in summer?” Vague reply: “Because”. The heck??? And they said girls were confusing -_-
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 9:31 am
HI Frances,
That means he lost attraction with you.. Are you going to restart no contact?
Stella
April 5, 2016 at 1:52 pm
Hi,
So, My bf and i broke up 2 months ago. The problem is that, he says he still loves me but when it comes to communicating in front of our friends… We just dont talk. Ive tried to talk it out with him but it ends up going the same way each time. I could really use ur help. Thanks Alot
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 5:24 am
Hi Stella,
did he say why he doesn’t talk with you outside?
Gabrielle
April 2, 2016 at 4:20 pm
Hey, I have been in constant contact with my ex for the last two weeks. I tend to initiate most of the contacts but he always reply right away and in a positive way. We are long distance. He left me 2 months ago because he was under a lot of pressure and stress due to external factors. And wrote me a letter after saying he hopes i’ll still love him when he’ll be ready to commit, and said he loves me.
Ok so. Since I started to contact my ex he was asking me lots of questions everytime. He called me twice. We didn’t talk very long because I had to go. We text about nice things. But yesterday it was really weird. I tried the ‘remember the good time’ text about an inside joke. He thought it was funny. He called me later that night but sounded distant and very anxious. I tried to cut the conversation because the wifi wasn’t so good and he kept saying ‘no no let’s talk now”!. And all of a sudden he made a weird comment about me dating other boys (which i don’t). And when I asked him to repeat he didn’t want too. He used to make those kinda comments when we were first dating to “test” me.
All of our contacts were good. Except that yesterday was really awkward. Not on my side cause I was happy and everything but on his. I’m really confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 6:26 am
Hi Gabriel,
it just looks like he is nervous, just continue with what you’re doing
Lu
April 1, 2016 at 4:17 pm
Hi there, I’m 56 and my b/f is 36, he is African, Muslim and has been in the US for 15yrs. We have no religious, cultural, racial or age obstacles and get along great. We make each other happy and say so often. After 2+ years, we still say things like hi beautiful, handsome, etc…Our issue is time. He is pulled in so many directions that he has difficulty fitting in time for us. I decided that I had had enough and texted him that I couldn’t see him any more. It was a knee jerk reaction because I thought we were going to spend the day together and he said he was too busy at the last minute. Let me clarify, this has happened a lot and I was frustrated. After I sent him the text, he called me and said he wanted clarification. He said that I have always been aware of his situation (he is a single dad and works 12hr shifts), we didn’t really resolve anything and he said he would call me back. That day, I really thought about how much time he really does spend with me and I realized that I made a mistake. When he can’t see me, he calls and texts. After my regret I did what everyone else does and basically got pathetic and begged him to come back. I sent him the text on Saturday, he did respond with a good morning text on Tuesday, but in between and since, nothing. So, I decided to issue the NC rule myself and suddenly I get a “GM” text from him. He didn’t say anything else. I feel like I need to ignore him, but I don’t know what to say when I do decide to initiate contact again. I don’t want him to control the situation, I want to be in control. Any suggestions would be helpful, thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 12:33 pm
Hi Lu,
it looks like he wants to resolve things..why not start with a good morning too?
AB
March 29, 2016 at 10:06 am
Hi,
My boyfriend & I were together 9 years, we lived together for 4. We were having silly fights and he broke up with me. He says his mind is made up and there is no going back. I of course did the usual begging pleading etc. We have been broken up 7 weeks now. We have had contact and when I text him he always replies real quickly. It was his birthday recently and I seen another girl gave him a card and present. should I walk away and let them be? He says it is nothing and I am reading too much into it – he says he hasn’t moved on yet. I have tried NC and he contacted me after 2weeks but I am giving it another go – I have improved myself physically and now just need to do it emotionally
Please give me some help
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 5:49 am
HI Ab,
I think you should just focus on him and you. Unless it’s apparent that they’re together and he’s lying.
Sue
March 29, 2016 at 3:38 am
So my ex and I went 78 days NCR…not so much as a single peep. I got this advice from your website and I’ve commented before. We were long distance and really serious before. Finally, I was ready. I emailed him and said, “I’m in town next week. Would you like to get together?” Well, he was out with his buddies and he left them immediately to come FaceTime with me. He was out of breath and I *think* he must have ran home ;)) We talked for four hours that night and about four hours today. Lots of hard discussions but our relationship (or whatever the label is) is on a new level. We both say we are in love and we want to work towards marriage but we are taking things slow. Thank you so much for your help and the resources on your website. Love is easy. Relationships are hard.
Sue
March 29, 2016 at 3:39 am
Oh and PS ~ He said he kept tabs on me the entire time we were broken up and that he still thought of me at least once a day.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 5:31 am
That’s good Sue! Congratulations!
Sara
March 26, 2016 at 5:10 pm
I broke up with my ex and the first few days he begged me to take him back, but on his terms. Basically I’d need to work around the issues he created in our relationship instead of both of us starting fresh. I didn’t feel it was worth it or appropriate for me to be made to feel uncomfortable for a man who hasn’t made any real commitments to me besides bf/gf. So on those two grounds I felt it was best to not let him back in my life. I still have hope that he will make the right choice, but have I screwed the pooch in not taking him back from when he begged? I care about him deeply and I do want him back, I just need him to respect me and our relationship. I have done NC for two days now (we broke up 6 days ago and tried working it out over several days).
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 2:31 am
Hi Sara,
are you still in nc?
Emily
March 23, 2016 at 8:55 pm
Hi !!
Ok oh dear me i think I’ve don’t something CATASTROPHIC!!!!
Me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months total but 4 months ago we met up at his house and one thing led to another (if you catch my drift) and i left in tears!! After that i went no contact for a month then after that we have been occasianly texting every few weeks with him initiating most like with dumb questions SUCH AS “how was the lecture yesterday?” when we both really couldn’t care less. OK OK NOW FOR THE CATASTROPHIC PART!!!!! his made it very clear he wants nothing more than to be friends by saying “i want to stay friends but i don’t want it to feel like I’m leading you on or anything” but i was on the train and i was listening to mariah carey and leona lewis and i have PMS (lol) SOOO i texted him this…..
“Heyy do you want to talk? I mean talk talk like about our breakup and everything?! (Exciting prospect i know) if you do let me know but i want it to be in person because otherwise its just going to come off wrong and be misinterpreted! And if you don’t (OMG I’m not trying to threaten you hahahaha SEE MISINTERPRETATION this is what i’m talking about) but i can’t see us being able to be friends and stay in touch with all of it looming around and i really DO want us to be able to be normal together because besides everything we click! And i know you don’t want to lead me on so you don’t have to worry about that or about me shedding my beautiful glistening tears because i had my eyelids removed. Anyway let me know what you think and don’t keep mumma waiting (i am mumma if you didnt catch that but no rush i just wanted to call myself mumma ok sorry) #longlivequeenemily
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!! MUMMAS WAITING oh god I’m mortified anyway his reply…
him: I don’t really see the need to about about it or what there is to talk about that hasn’t already been said. But if you want to catch up sometime next week at uni ill be around
Me: Well okay but next week we have off!! But i do want to catch up though
Him: Oh yeah well the week we go back I’m free wednesday mornings if that works
Me: Perf !! I think this will be good 🙂
Him: Haha I’m sure it will
We were together for like 5 months but friends for awhile and broke up because he said” we were too different so its better to end it now that i know that rather than let it carry on until we can’t stand each other” (what the hell kind of a reason is that!)
IM SO CONFUSED! Does it sound like i was asking him if he wanted to get back together in my text? WHY DOES HE WANT TO CATCH UP? just to be friends or MORE? i really want to see him but because i know he just wants to be friends i don’t know if it will be a good idea because i don’t know how i feel about him i want to want to just be friends because i know if we got back together it wouldn’t work but if i DID want to get back with him is this a positive step? oh god I’m thinking of just deleting his number like i feel like I’m hanging onto something dead! IS THE FLAME STILL ALIVE??? blehhhhhh
please help! xxxxxo
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 1, 2016 at 2:18 pm
HI Emily,
Sorry for the late reply.. HOw are you? Did you meet up? I think he just said that with his reply because he thinks maybe that’s what you want.
Mac
March 21, 2016 at 9:33 pm
In response to your previous answer:
Yes, I did. I haven’t talked to him since the breakup in January.
Why do you think she’s a rebound? What do I do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2016 at 9:18 am
because of his actions.. try to initiate contact with him now
Ash
March 17, 2016 at 2:09 pm
Hello,
So recently, within the past couple of days my boyfriend and I broke up and it is devastating. We were only together for & months, but for the first 8 of those 9 months everything was wonderful. And then him and his family hit hard times the last month and he grew distant, when he gets stressed he closes up to everyone. Well when we broke up, we obviously talked about it. He said that he would still want to be with me and that this is possibly just an until things settle down break up. He also told me he still wants to keep in contact with me and doesn’t want to completely shut me out of his life, which I know is what he has done with all of his other exes. Our relationship was very serious, we had talked about marriage and he was even the first to say he wanted to get married to me. Now, I know that doesn’t always mean anything, but if you knew him, he was the type of guy that never talked about that with his exes. I was the first girl he had ever brought around his family, and they all absolutely adored me, as mine did him. I am now best friends with his sister, and he has even told me that he does not care if I still come over to his house to hang out with his sister. I then asked if that would be awkward if he were to move on and bring another girl over, two which he responded that he wasn’t sure there would even be another girl he would bring over. What is your take on this?
Ash
March 17, 2016 at 4:25 pm
Amor,
Thank you, I think I’m going to give him as much space and time as possible, and let him do the contacting. It will be hard for us not to see each other as I am best friends with his sister. I like to think I know him very well as we have grown up with each other, and we’re very close during our relationship. We told each other everything and I’m very involved in his family. I am hoping that this is a temporary thing as I believe he still cares for me, but just has a lot going on right now with the family’s very stressful situation.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 4:09 pm
Hi Ash,
Maybe he just needs this time for himself. Give him space to sort things out in his life. Give yourself a timeline of until when you would like to give him space. A month or two? Decide on how well you know him.