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emily
October 14, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Hi ! i hope you’re doing fine . Well everything was amazing with him since january then he stopped talking with me slowly ( like it was an off relationship but only for him cause i was always waiting for him , like he was online talking with whoever he wants , blocking my number not answering my msgs .. ) i was losing my mind of course but told him nothing ! then in we met in like september he told me that im still his girlfriend i was like WHAT ? anyways ! we met in the university we’re having two classes together ! in the first day we talked like normally then later that day he broke up with me with a sweet sms telling me he will always love me but we’re done its not gonna work anymore for now ! then he was avoiding me or just saying hi hi in the university ! Yesterday he came to me and hugged me we stayed together and i told him that i wanna tell him everything ( about some pictures of some girls .. ) on the road we were having sooo much fun he even held my hand while crossing the road ! this telepathy we have stronger THAN EVER now ! we were touching each other having fun like always ! he told me that he still love me but he just thought about us and like it will not work ! he told me that he had his own reasons ( till now i dont have a serious reason ) he was like do you remember that day walking under the rain , that weather we love … ME AND HIM yesterday LIKE JUST NOTHING HAPPENED and he was aware of it he told me oh god everything is still good between us cause normally when a couple break up they take their seperate ways but not in our case … and he told me that he knows that he didnt lose me as a person ! i showed him everything he was like why you didnt tell me before … and he also asked me to get over it and to LET GO ! At the same time everytime i see him i see that sparkle in his eyes , i mean you can drown in his eyes . we both get speechless sometimes , we both keep just staring into each others eyes for a while even when we talk we keep staring !But he doesnt text since that break up msg doesnt answer my calls we dont talk on the social media . soo please does he still love me like he said ? and why he would break up with me while everything was perfect and it was a selfish decision ?
emily
October 15, 2016 at 11:40 am
oh no ! we were together since january but he started ignoring me since august :/
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 16, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Oh ok.. do you want to do the no contact rule? if yes, I think you should do at least 45 days..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 15, 2016 at 3:45 am
Hi Emily,
I dont understand.. he ignored you since January? onstead of believing in his words when his actions doesn’t match up, try doing the no contact rule.. how long were you together?
Ace
October 12, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Hi Amor
I’m currently 15 days no contact, my ex has tried to contact me a couple times during this time by whatsapp and normal texting however I haven’t broken no contact. A couple days ago he used another social media app to send me some pics he took of me when we were together and has said nothing since. I was wondering if he was just testing to see if he could get through to me using this medium but why wouldn’t he say anything else. What do I make of it?
Ace
October 12, 2016 at 9:53 pm
What do *u make of it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 6:33 am
HI Ace,
he probably didn’t say anything else because he was just testing if you would answer him..
Veronica
October 10, 2016 at 12:23 am
hi its veronica and so me and this boy we broke up and we have a chat group on Instagram and everyone talks about me and him. and whenever he see’s me he always stares at me and i see him doing that
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 9:55 am
Hi Veronica,
So, what’s your plan and what’s your question? How old are you both and how long were you together?
Miranda
October 2, 2016 at 4:18 pm
My ex and I have been together for a little over a year. Our relationship has been great especially in the last few months. I did move in with him a little too fast due to not having anywhere else to go, but we got used to it very fast and then it felt natural. Things in life were obviously going on during our relationship. His mother was sick and in the hospital and passed away 3 months ago. Anyway, he has said that I’m the only girl he’s had this much of a connection and chemistry with, and he’s never been this in love(you know, all the mushy stuff). The break up was very sudden and out of no where. He said he was doing it to have time to think about what he should do with his life, and I would be able to figure out mine without us being together all of the time. He said he needed to be alone for a while especially since his mom just passed. I asked if this would be permanent, and he doesn’t know and he’s confused. After the break up I went to another state to live with my mother, and he went to Australia to visit his cousin. It’s been about three weeks since we’ve seen each other. The problem is we have been talking so we couldn’t do nc. I mostly just say things to help him cheer up a little and support him because he’s still very lost and depressed over the loss of his mother. He literally has no one else to go to for that. When it’s not that he tries to be flirty then says he doesn’t want to mess with our heads but he can’t help himself. Then he says that this situation sucks a lot and it hurts since we left on good terms. Then he would say things like breaking up with me was unfair to the both of us. At first I would ask why he would put both of us through that pain, and he would say he thought it was right but he doesn’t know. He’s clearly very confused. I love him very much and want everything we had back.
Miranda
October 5, 2016 at 3:58 pm
I wouldn’t say friendzoned, but I don’t really know. He doesn’t have that type of relationship with that side of his family. They’re very dismissive of other people’s feelings unless it has to do with them. I plan to be there as long as he needs it, even if he decides that he doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with me. I don’t want him to feel like he’s been abandoned. I mean he wasn’t just a boyfirend, he was my best friend too, so I can’t just do that to him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 2:44 pm
Ok.. I respect that.. That means you already know what to do right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 11:07 am
Hi Miranda,
so, you’re friendzoned? doesnt his cousin’s family give emotional support? how long do you plan to be there for him emotionally?
Amy
September 28, 2016 at 6:07 pm
Okay so me and my ex have been broken up for over 2 months now. We broke up on ” good terms” almost too good to be honest. He broke up with me because he wanted to live his life now single and grow as a person. He stated that it had nothing to do with me, that he just wasn’t ready to fully commit at the age of 21. Which I understand but also we had zero problems. We never argued, or anything. We have an unbelievable connection. He told me he believed our paths would cross again,We dated for over a year.I have done the NC rule for about 35 days now. However im not sure if it count because no we didn’t call or text but he still would favorite tweets for me to read, and I would fav some back too. He made an attempt to make me jealous by fav another girl tweet he had a past with, knowing I would see it. I of course decided to unfollow him on all social media, it just didn’t feel healthy. He broke up with me but still has all these expections of me to still be loyal and dress appropriate. I unfollowed him and he didn’t for a whole week, I was quite surprised honestly. He even went back and unfaved the girls tweet he tried to make me mad with. Over the weekend he finally unfollowed me, I check his page at 4 am and he faved a tweet saying “don’t change on me”. He actually goes out of his way and types in tweets he is wanting to express and finds them. like he goes out of the way to get a message acrossto me. then that morning around 10 am he unfavorited and unfollowed me on everything. His last fav tweet to me 2 days ago is ” never regret anything, because it was exactly what you wanted at onetime.” I just do not understand… It is obvious we both still care so much. I guess my question is why does he go out of his way to still send me messages of what he is thinking.We have not texted or called eachother! I refuse to text him first, I know he is sitting there waiting for me too. i am not sure why this bothers me so much.. I am stuck between thinking he really cares and misses me to he is just trying to play games with me. keep me on a string. ( me and his mom still communicate almost everyday) Like this guy cried multiple times over me. I don’t understand why he wont get his head out of hiss ass and just call me and say wtf was i thinking i obviously am still in love with you. His birthday is next week too, I don’t want to tell him happy birthday because he doesn’t deserve for me to acknowledge his birthday. sorry for this being so long. I will appreciate any advice you may have !
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2016 at 1:22 pm
Hi Amy,
it’s not actually allowed to keep checking your ex’s profile during and to like his posts because liking is a way of communicating with him but what’s more important now is if you have improved yourself? and he probably kept tweeting about you becauee he misses you.. that’s natural because you just broke up
Ashley
September 26, 2016 at 3:09 am
My ex and I were together for 10 years, never married. We lived together for a while. Part of our relationship was long distance, he went to graduate school, then relocated for work. In February, he moved back to be with me and took a new job. Shortly after getting here, we began to fight quite a bit. He started acted fishy, being really private about his cell phone. I admittedly became quite jealous and accused him of cheating. In July, we mutually agreed to take a ‘break’ with no definite terms of how long the break would be. We had very limited contact for about a month. Then our dog, which I have custody of, got hurt. I did not immediately tell him but when I did, he told me that he has never been more upset with me before. That the whole reason he moved here was to be with me and I have pushed him away, and that if I didn’t act so crazy, we could have been happy. About a month later, I find pictures on Facebook that he has a new g/f. Our dog had to have surgery, which he pays half of. Then, I find pictures on Facebook of him and this new girl, as far back as April, while we were still together. I sent him a text, confronting him with the evidence. He denies the whole thing, saying they were just friends until after we broke up……even though we never officially had any conversation about breaking up. I texted back, calling bulls*** and told him that karma would be coming for him and when it does, he will think of me. Then just last week, we find out that his mom has cancer. She and I have always been very close. So, he and I have been talking mostly via text. I am trying to do all I can to help out with his mom…..he has told me that he appreciates what I’m doing for her. He has told me that he feels like his whole life is falling apart. He told me he loves me. Says that sometimes, he thinks we messed up. With our injured dog and now his mom, I don’t think I can do another NC. I do want him back, but don’t know if I can ever trust him again…….or should I just move on? Please help!
Ashley
September 27, 2016 at 12:24 am
Yes, I’m asking do you think doing a NC will help or should I just move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 8:26 am
There’s no guarantee that it will work but yes, it can help increase your chances.. Try it as a last approach, if it doesn’t work out then move on..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 12:01 pm
Hi Ashley,
I’m confused. You don’t think you can do nc, but you’re asking if you should move on which is a different approach for you
cat
September 21, 2016 at 8:12 pm
my boyfriend dumped me 3 months ago, saying he does’t want to be in a relationship at the moment, we kept meeting for coffees, he came around to my house stroking my hair, telling me he loves me, he always answers phone, texts. I told him i was going on dates, as i need to move on.Last week he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but i saw his profile on a dating website, i asked him would we ever get back together, then said wait for me. ( up until that point he said probably, maybe , doesn’t know) last week, he said no way are we getting back. I then received a message saying sorry but you pushed me into saying that, he then wrote but never say never. He keeps trying to ensure he can keep me dangling. We were together for 2 years trying for a baby. He said he wants to concentrate on work, and i reckon i’ve blown it now, by keeping in contact thinking he would come back? i’m now doing no contact. I reckon he has made his mind up, he feels pressure form me. Is it too late for no contact to make any difference to his mind, will he be thinking about me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 23, 2016 at 11:25 am
Hi Cat,
looks like he friendzoned you.. I think there is still a chance..Check this one:EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
Chelsea
September 14, 2016 at 5:47 am
Hello. Im in a weird situation. My ex and i actually had a mutual “break” that we’ve barely clarified to one another. We’ve had a lot go on in our lives recently. We were together almost 3 years, but in the last few months my apartment was flooded, then the very next week he lost his car in the flood as well. I was living with him just for a bit after i lost my place but both of our jobs had been cutting hours still since last christmas so money was tight for the both of us. We had both taken a semester off from school as well. Our lives quickly became just work work and more work, us hanging out was literally just being at one anothers houses. There wasnt any money to do dates or to go out, you can only do netflix dates so much before it feels like youre just watching a movie with a friend. So we decided that a break would be good. It hasnt been very successful though it seems. It feels like we have a tension built up between us only because we both know we still love each other and probably still want to be together. I would like to get back with him but when we agreed to go on this break he expressed that he would like some space. So far we’ve been on our “break” for almost two months maybe. He usually texts me almost everyday, tells me good morning, updates of his job, little chatter here and there. I told him one day that i missed him and he said he missed me too, then another day i told him i loved him and he said it back…a little bit of a flirty kind of messaging after i said that but soon after he said goodnight to me. He entertained one of my “thats what he said” jokes. I told him that and he said “oh really? Thats what he said?” And i was like “yup. Everytime” and he got defensive in a cute way and said “well im gonna beat him up!” Just got even more florty afterwards. He says hes not ready for a relationship because he doesnt feel very financially stable, especially now since hes lost his car. He says i deserve better but also we had a conversation about our relationship where i asked him on a scale of 10 how badly do you wanna save this relationship and he said 8. He said it wouldve been a 10 but i cant remember why it wasnt. Its still a better number than i thought he would give! Gave me a lot of hope after he said that! Hes just been down the last few months to be honest. Hes in California right now for a month and we hung out before his flight, he said “thank you for taking me out :)” after i dropped him off home. He even said hes getting me a birthday gift after he comes back here. In the time that we’ve been apart ive been definitely working on myself and my own life, ive managed to get my own car, re-enrolled into school, even trying to get back into the gym! My ex though has always thought negative on himself and has trouble pushing through, hes made a possible decision to maybe take a job in cali where he would be making a lot of money. He would be staying with his family but still paying rent here with his roommate. They just signed another 12 month lease. He said if he takes the job up there, itll just be for a few months and then come back here because he wouldve saved up enough for him to go back to school and have another car. It can work out but it can also NOT work out and ruin the job he has here. I dont like this decision but if it can work out then thats amazing! I guess my question is…can i get my man back despite the fact that he says hes not ready ONLY because of financial problems? He knows im willing to help but he doesnt want it because hes felt like im a crutch. I can make the change to watch, itll be hard but i can try it out if it helps him feel more independent.
Chelsea
October 4, 2016 at 6:31 am
But how do you know theres a good chance? Ive been keeping myself very busy, hes even noticed and said so! Ive kept all my feelings to myself even though i love him a lot and would like to be together again. Would it be terrible to spill it all? Hes agreed to meet up with me since hes back from cali and we’ll be discussing our relationship.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 12:52 pm
that’s a good sign that he noticed.. spilling everything when you don’t have rapport and attraction built is like confessing to someone you love them when that’s the last thing they want to hear
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 17, 2016 at 12:11 pm
Hi Chelsea,
You have a good chance, just don’t rush it. If he needs his time for himself, don’t just wait. Be busy in your life too.. That way he won’t think that you’re just there forever and when he checks you through social media, he can see you’re improving and increase the chances of him missing you.. Try out 30 days nc first, and then slowly rebuild rapport after that. COntinue the routine you would be starting during nc even when you’re already building rapport with him and even when you get back with him.
Liz
September 9, 2016 at 9:20 am
so me and my ex boyfriend were together for 7months. I was his first actual girlfriend. He has only dated other girls for less than 2months. He was my first boyfriend too, and we both loved each other until he said he didn’t love me anymore. He said the reason wasn’t because he loved some other girl. It was so shocking for me, it was the pain that I never experienced before. I didn’t know about the no contact rule then, so I just kept being super annoying and texted him frequently and told him I love him. Well that was the huge mistake. He told me he would not reply anymore and I made him mad.
I kept being annoying for the 5months of the 9months we are apart. Well my ex and I go to the same school, same grade, same class. So we can’t stop seeing each other unless we don’t go to school. And about a few weeks after I stopped texting him, the long summer break came.
I never actually saw him during the break. Just once, I was invited to a friend’s party at their house and he came too. He started to act strangely, and started singing break up songs which was super annoying. He brought the guitar and started to play the song on youtube, and he did it right in front of the sofa I was sitting. On the way back, he was asking friends if they’d loved anyone deeply before and sang the song we wrote together to my friends. It almost teared my heart while I was still recovering from the break up. He kept posting random pictures on social media since then, and kept updating his status which is pretty unusual for him.
After school started two weeks ago, it gets so awkward when I try to talk to him. He starts singing break up songs whenever he is bored, and also some one direction love songs. but he also flirts with other girls, two girls specifically. It hurts to see that because I still actually love him a lot.
Do you think I can get him back? I don’t know how to, and I haven’t texted or talked to him recently and I acted like I have no interest in him, but how I feel is the opposite. In about a week and a half, it would be my birthday(also his birthday is a few days away from mine). Do you think he will confess to me then?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 10, 2016 at 11:20 am
Hi Liz,
You said you acted like you have no interest anymore but have you improved yourself? have you tried doing new things, meeting new people and making new friends?
Because avoiding is one thing, actual moving on is another. He has to think that you are moving on and not just waiting for him to do something.
Rachel
September 1, 2016 at 5:01 am
Hi there. I just broke up with my ex for about 2 weeks. We had a huge fight that involves his good friend and from then on he stops calling me love. To make things worst, he changed his profile picture and told me that it is over. I am on Day 2 on no contact but I couldn’t see anything happening. I wanted him back although he is 10 years younger than me because he has all the characteristics that I wanted. Help me!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 1, 2016 at 2:06 pm
HI Rachel,
don’t rush.. How long were you together? And you should be focused in yourself only. On improving yourself.
Erika
August 30, 2016 at 12:25 am
My ex and I were together for almost 2 years. Spent all of our time together. Seriously like all. I broke up with him about a month ago because I couldn’t deal with one of his kids mother. After calming down I tried to get back with him. He told me that because I keep saying that and breaking it off that this time it was done. So I tried nc and after about 2 weeks tried to contact him. He told me it was over. I also saw on fb he posted a pic of some girl kissing his cheek. His mom told me he hasnt even contacted her. Well last week I found out he contacted my cousin on fb telling him he was tired of my ish. What confuses me is he doesn’t even talk to my cousin often so why go to him about our situation?? And why is he avoiding his parents?
Erika
August 31, 2016 at 5:39 pm
Yes I have already restarted nc. I’m just confused as to why he would contact NY cousin instead of going to his family.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 1, 2016 at 11:57 am
Honestly it’s not good, because if they’re not close and he told him he’s tired of you, then he is tired of you and he had to tell it to your relative to relay to you
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 31, 2016 at 12:11 pm
HI Erika ,
maybe he’s going through something in his mind.. Are you going to restart no contact?
Sick and confused
August 29, 2016 at 3:00 am
My ex broke up with me a month ago. It was a messy break up. I still am in love with him. For the last few years I had been experiencing stress vomiting that prevented me from getting steady work… this put a lot of strain on our relationship. A week after we decided to stop contacting each other while we both deal with our emotions my doctor called me in to talk about test results. He found out I have a tumor. I had put off telling my ex for a week and tried to seek support from friends (they were unhelpful)… eventually I told my ex and he called me to talk about it and the next day out of the blue contacted me to tell me that he had made appointments and paid for them for me for physio…. he says he cares about me and wants to hear from me and I am waiting to get more tests done… I am missing him right now but am unsure if it’s pity that he is staying in touch or genuine care. Or perhaps he feels guilty. I am unsure if I should continue contact with him even though I want him back in my life. More than ever. What should I do?
Sick and confused
September 1, 2016 at 8:14 pm
He has stopped contacting me now that I have had my appointment. So I guess it was just a nice gesture.
Sick and confused
August 31, 2016 at 7:00 pm
I suppose you’re right. It’s just hard to go through this and feel so alone after having a partner for so many years. It’s very hard not to want to see him and be comforted as well as talk to him to take my mind off things. If I continue to be sick I guess there really is no chance of getting back together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 30, 2016 at 8:08 pm
Hi Sick and confused,
You have the same situation with another commenter but I can’t remember her name.. that’s good that he did that.. I think he genuinely cares.. If he doesn’t, he would have just accompanied you to the doctors but he gave extra effort. I think getting back should be less of your priorities now.. Of course I know you know that but see the good side in this situation. He’s being there for you. Appreciate it and just cherish every moment of it. Get well first. You don’t need added stress. We really hope you get well.
Hicks
August 27, 2016 at 12:41 am
Me and my ex were together seven years. Different countries different languages! We have given up everything to be together and our love was insanely strong. I am jealous person and I don’t give him much privacy he is insecure and flirts with girls to get attention. These two together kept us fighting for years and made thing worse and worse. We broke up after I left home after a huge fight after he has been ignoring me for a while an things weren’t good. For few weeks after the break up every day we d fight and attack each other in a really low way. Now I try to nc but once in awhile I reply because of house matters I have to help since I was the one taking are if everything in the house. Since the half nc I have started e contacts me everyday has been a little bit more soft tell me he misses me and brings up excuses to meet up which before he didn’t want at all. Within the first two weeks we broke up he made out with a chick front of our friends and he was trying to be really hurtful. What should I do? I want him back even though we had some problems and he hasn’t been nice lately to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 30, 2016 at 11:08 am
Hi Hicks,
have you kept it strictly talking about the house only? Are you actively improving yourself?
Nadine
July 23, 2016 at 6:24 pm
So my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months broke up with me out of nowhere. We’re both 28 and had talked two months prior about our thoughts on kids (mine on the edge and his fully in) and a month after that talk I told him that after thinking more about it and talking to friends that I was in and could see having kids with him. He had been the perfect boyfriend during our time together, was engaging with my family, and even the weekend before spent all weekend with my friends from out of town for a wedding reception. He had asked me before about where I’d like to move, what kind of ring I’d want, and the future in general. 3 days after he broke up with my we did the exchange of stuff at my request, and when there I also asked him to not contact me because it was too hard. Did I ruin my chance to let him call me if he changed his mind? It’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t contacted him and vice versa. Just wondering if it’s too late already.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 26, 2016 at 7:19 am
Hi Nadine,
no you didn’t but what matters more is what you did in those three weeks?
Jenny
July 15, 2016 at 1:56 am
Hi there,
I’m in a really confusing place right now.
My ex and I broke up nearly a year ago. We had four months of fighting after the break up which we’d never had when we were together. It was mainly me causing it and it was, I believe, in reaction to the way he did it (he broke up with me the morning he was going overseas for two months).
Fast forward 12 months and I’ve worked a lot on myself and have even finally just completed a month of no initiated contact. I can’t do full NC because we work in the same building and I see him all the time, but I’ve decided to keep going with it at the moment anyway by not initiating anything.
Up until a few months ago, I would’ve said we’d fallen into easygoing friends and having nice interactions here and there.
Then he started doing weird things like parking right next to me in the carpark, taking photos of our cars together and showing me which I would find really creepy if he wasn’t the guy I’m in love with. We had a lovely date about six weeks ago where he brought up nice memories of when we were together and was affectionate with me. He seeks me out at lunch time and if I’m randomly walking around he follows me and wants to talk to me. He teases me in a cute way, makes me laugh and notices every little change I make to my hair, clothes and make up. He has always said I’m the hottest girl in the world, but he even announced a couple of months ago that I’ve had a complete makeover.
A couple of days before my birthday last month, he asked me to dinner (long story, but he said he wanted to take me to dinner when he got back from holidays in two weeks). Then on my actual birthday, he asked me to coffee and cake four times before I was able to go and it was lovely. That night I received a luxury hamper from him with a kiss on the card (something that even when we were together he didn’t do so it was my favourite part of the hamper).
He went away for his two weeks holiday, came back and everything at work has been the same, he’s still parking as close to me as he can and finding me at lunch for cute conversations. The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned our dinner. I made a mini comment about it last week when he asked me if the celebrations were still going and he said “oh yeah, that’s right” and I laughed and said “omg, forget I just spoke”. He said “oh there WILL be dinners, we’ll just do your birthday one in six months to annoy everyone by keeping your birthday going longer”.
The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned it again and he’s been home nearly two weeks. I know he has long-standing personal (mental) issues and financial issues but it’s just dinner and he asked me in the first place. He told me (during the four months of bad breakup time) that if I give him time and space (he was/is grieving his father also) he’ll be able to give me what I want (ie. everything) so I’m trying to live by that and be patient.
I’m at a loss of what to do now. I want to wait for him to be ready but at the same time if his feelings aren’t romantic then I don’t want to look foolish by holding on.
What is the plan after NC and does it sound like he’s into me romantically?
Jenny
July 15, 2016 at 8:38 am
I actually have a real time update on this because he actually came and found me at lunch today (first time he’s done it this week and its Friday here) and it was so obvious he only came outside to find me to ask me to dinner and a movie tomorrow night. Five weeks of me not doing anything at all except being warm, flirty and welcoming and he steps up. I am beyond excited 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 15, 2016 at 5:06 pm
see…just contnue that.. if he proposed soemthing.. let him prove it first.. if he doesn’t let the idea go and just live your usual day.
look your best and enjoy!
Jenny
July 15, 2016 at 2:23 am
I forgot to mention, a couple of months ago I sent him a message telling him that his actions were making me really like him again. I asked him not to reply because I wasn’t saying it to get a response but I was simply letting him know what affect his actions were having on my feelings. He didn’t reply and actually amped up his actions after that. Oh and the reason he broke up with me was because he said he didn’t feel like he was falling in love.
Samatha
July 13, 2016 at 2:48 pm
Hi. I have been dating this guy for almost a year. We have had a lot of stupid little fights because he doesn’t know how to control his anger. He gets mad if a guy says hi to me. So to avoid conflict in our relationship I didn’t tell him a lot of things. He cheated on me and we worked through it and he tried real hard to fix things and things were going good for awhile. Then our relationship started going downhill. He started sneaking around and lying. I ended up cheating on him and he couldn’t deal with the pain. We ended up working on it and we promised to tell each other everything. Well to this day we still have stuff hidden from each other but neither one of us will talk about anything. a girl told him many lies about me and he believes her and not me. He said I need to tell him everything I’m lying about or else we aren’t getting back together. I’ve told him everything I can think of and he still thinks I have more to tell. Do I try and fix things with him or should I let him go? We have been through so much together and I just don’t know what to do anymore. And if we get back together I’m not allowed doing anything. No guy friends, no talking to guys, no going out with my friends. I’m going to be on complete lockdown and I don’t think that’s healthy.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 13, 2016 at 6:32 pm
Hi Samantha,
yeah, it’s not..have you mentioned that to him?
Dina Natasha
July 11, 2016 at 11:01 am
Hi, me and my ex already broke up for 6 years but we still keep in touch (there’s no nc rules because I cannot do that), but he has 2 ex gf after me. What confusing is a few months ago we did something like what couple/lovers did (kissing, holding hands, etc) but after that, he acting like there’s nothing happened. I’m so confused because he said he just wanna still keep in touch with me and he said sorry for being such a jerk. I know I’m so stupid still have feeling for him. And I said it to my ex, “I still love you and I dunno what should do. Should I go away or just stay like this?” And then he replied, “it’s all up to you.” He didn’t gave me the good answer. It’s not clear. And there’s a case where I told him that I want to study abroad and he said he want to spend one night with me before I go. So confusing.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 12, 2016 at 12:37 pm
Hi Dina,
why can’t you do nc?
Samantha
July 9, 2016 at 3:46 am
Hi there I am sorry to ask this much but I’m hurting. I dated my boyfriend for almost two years. We had a good relationship, he was my best friend. He was my first love and I never felt so connected with anyone. However he had a serious problem with putting in effort. We are in high school but he didn’t have his license so I had to drive us everywhere. He never has had a job so I paid for all our dates. I didn’t mind doing this but when he expected it let alone didn’t appreciate it I got very resentful and hurt. And he continued to do things that were just very inconsiderate towards me. I decided it would be good to break it off and he mutually agreed. I think that was more of a pride thing instead of the one being broken up with for him. Anyways fast forward to a month later and I miss him like crazy. I think about him all day everyday no joke. We’ve talked
On the phone and text every once an a while, I know that’s not part of the NC rule but we just found out his mom who I’m very close to was diagnosed with cancer a week after we broke up. He’ll text me saying stuff such as how he misses my giggle and how his mom loves me and misses me so much and all this stuff but yet he’ll tell me how his life hasn’t changed. But he’ll do things like text me but when I respond he won’t respond back. I also heard from his best friend that he’s apparently been making out with this girl from his first new job but has no emotions for her and all this confusing stuff. I wanna tell him I miss him but I’m afraid of
Either two options 1 that he’ll reject me and say he’s already moved on or 2 that he’ll say yes but still be disrespectful. So I guess what I’m asking is do you think he still cares and misses me? Do you think I’d be stupid to try to rekindle things?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 9, 2016 at 4:38 pm
Hi Samantha,
don’t rush it.. if he really changed, he will show it.. with what you said, looks like he hasn’t.. he said it himself.. nothing has changed..but I think you need time to really focus in yourself this time.. if you want to be supportive with him for now go ahead and then decide later on when you’ll take time for yourself
Cammy
June 28, 2016 at 5:28 pm
so me and my ex were together for 7 months. we met at school so we had to go home for summer vacation and we are from different places. Our relationship was a good one. we got into it a bit fast, we didn’t really know each other before we got involved but we fell in love and we were happy and we got really close and we really trusted each other. there were some problems of course as there are in any relationship. he was the first person i ever wanted a relationship with so opening up was hard but i did it. at the beginning of the summer i sent him a long stream of conciousness telling him everything i was feeling and he told me that he loved me with all of his heart and he was here for me and willing to work it out so we talked and things were good and i asked him if there were things that i did that were making him unhappy and he mentioned two small things that we could work on and i said ok but he said there wasn’t anything else. he said he loved me a lot and he was really happy with me. the first time he told me he loved me he said he had never needed anyone as much as he needed me. i once asked him if he was ever got to a point where he wasn’t feeling our relationship would he talk to me about it or just breakup with me and he said he would talk to me about it. however, about 2 or 3 weeks into the summer we had a phone conversation that was kind of meh, we were just talking but neither of us had much to say and he was really tired because he’s been working a lot so we hung up but he said he loved me. the next morning he snap chatted me saying good morning with hearts. i snap chatted him a cute thing later but he didn’t respond. the next day i texted him saying hello my love how are you with a heart and he said hey just kind of tired I’m lying in bed about to go to sleep. after that i didn’t hear from him for five days in any regard. i sent him 2 cute animal videos cause that was something we tended to do and he saw them but didn’t respond. i finally got tired of it and asked him if everything was ok. he said yeah he’s just been busy and asked if we could talk on the phone later. we did and in that phone call he said that he was breaking up with me because he realized he didn’t love me anymore and he had met someone else that he liked and that he realized he didn’t care for me as much anymore. he was really pretty cold about it and it hurt. we talked a bit more after that. he said he did love me when he said he did only days before and he said that when we were together he was happy and he was grateful for the time we had together. he said that it wasn’t anything i did and that i was wonderful, just that his feelings changed and he wasn’t the same person he was when we were together and that who he is now doesn’t like me. i told him he was being really cold and he said that it was the way he was doing it and he was doing it for his own self-interest but that he wasn’t trying to toss me away like it felt and that he still wanted to be friends. i tried to work it out with him but he said no. i asked him to see me so we could get some closure and stuff but he said he probably couldn’t see me until school starts. i asked him why he didn’t talk to me and he said it was something he had to figure out on his own. i asked him if he just decided i wasn’t worth it and he said as mean as it sounded he guessed so. i asked him if he was going to be with this other girl and he said probably. he said he couldn’t be with me when he could possibly fall for this other girl but he also said that she doesn’t do committed relationships and he’s not looking for a committed relationship right now, how could he be so sure he’s going to fall in love with someone when neither of them is going to commit? in our last conversation i was feeling slightly better although it was still bad and i felt like he thought i was a mistake. i texted him a few times after that, he responded once but then not again. he was the first and only person i ever opened my heart to and he said he loved me and he never wanted to hurt me. on our six month anniversary he said that he just wanted six more months. then he turned around out of nowhere and broke every promise he ever made to me and ripped out my heart out of nowhere in a phone call and he won’t even give me closure and now I’m just left traumatized and confused. and i talked to one of his friends who was also becoming my good friend who i assumed he had told just to make sure we could still be friends but he didn’t know about it. i don’t think my ex has told anyone from our school because all of his friends still interact with me on social media. i have no idea wtf is going on and i keep hoping that the no contact will make him miss me but I hate feeling this sense of hope when he seems to be out having fun. if he’s never going to love me again then i just want to get some closure with him so i can let him go and then maybe when we get back to school we can see if we can be friends. but I’m worried asking him will only make him resent me. I fought really hard for him but he never even gave me a chance, he was a coward. i love him so much and it hurts so badly and i just want to get all of this out and have a real conversation with him so i can let him go and move on with my life. he said he was feeling loss and sadness because he was losing something that meant a lot to him, something being our relationship, and he said he had feelings that he could feel himself repressing but that they were going to hit. he says he cares about me but it really doesn’t feel that way. it feels like he never loved me at all and he never thinks about me or misses me or gives a damn about me in general. and i don’t know what to do. please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 2:31 pm
Hi Cammy,
you need to decide whether to talk to him first or start nc rigt away
SkinnyLove
June 27, 2016 at 8:31 pm
Hi There!
in 2012 i had just broken off With a boyfriend that i lived With for two years, that was not treating me good (cheating, lying, manupilating, hurting me, dident say he loved me for 2-3 years even if i was saying it and really spoke Down to me) I just kinda descovered this once i was out of it.
When i first got over it, it fet amazing to be free and 6 months later i traveled on a trip to Thailand that was gonna change my life. I met the one.
We where going to this little island in Thailand to learn how to dive, i dident even think about finding another man or even fall in love, but it happend, and it happend SO quick!!
I was crazy about him and him about me and i never thought it was possible to be tis much in love. 2 weeks went by and the time came that i had to og back home. (it was only a holiday)
We said goodbye but i knew in my heart i was gonna see him again. i talked to him every day on texts and phone and after two months i desided to sell all my stuff, quit my job and just og for it! I bought my ticket back and was back With him again after two months, in Koh tao.
It was like a fairytale and all i culd ever dream about, i went home a few times, but all i culd think about when i was home was to og back and be With him.
In april 2013 i desided to move there, i got a job and we lived together and everything was awsome!
we where so much in love and i was sure, so sure that this was the man i was gonna spend the rest of my life With!
Then in 2014 we started making plans about moving somewhere else to start a life together, not nessesarely the typical a4 life With kids, car, house and a dog, we are bothe wery free spirits and we love to travle and expiriense New Things. Hes parents bought an Apartment there and we lived in it together.
We had planned that i was going back to my country from may-august to work a bit and save some monney (you dont earn much to save in Thailand) and he was allso going home to hes country for two months to stay With hes Family and friends. I came With him there and we stayed at hes parents Place for two weeks before i left to og to norway to work.
The plan was that i was going back in september (even have the ticket) stay in Thailand for a month or so, og back to norway and start searching for a Place for us to stay and a job, first for me and then for him. Then he would be coming to my country between october and desember (hes workpremit ends then so he would have to change Place anyway) and we where thinking that it culd be good monney there.
We stayed in Italy and everything was good as it allway had been, i met hes Family for the second time and he showed me around i i got wery good along With hes friends.
The time came and it was time for me to leave to my country for work, he drowe me to the airport and kissed me goodbye and said that he loved me and all that. It felt sad but allso good cause i was so sure that we had eachouther and that we would see echother wery soon, making all Our plans come to life..
five days after i came home i got a text that cruched my world, my heart and my everything.
He texted that he dident miss me as much as he thought he would, thet when he left me at the airport he felt a kind of relief and that he culdent be With me anymore. He said he still loved me but he needed to be free, to find himself and that i needed to do the same. He said i was becoming a shadow of him and thet i relied on him so much it was more a burden than anything else. He just was not happy anymore.
I culdent believe what he was saying, i had so manny questions!
I CULDENT SIMPLY BREATHE! i thought it was unfear and cowardly to text me this after four amazing years together.
we spoke on the phone and he said he still wanted to be friends, that i still was hes bestfriend and thet he culdent bare to loose me compleatly And that the timing was not Our right now and that maybe we culd find eachother one day in the future.
These Words made me gain a hope, that if we just worked on Things we culd make it, and i was even willing to forgive him if he showed me that he would give it a chance.
I wrote him a long letter in Word (15 pages to be exact) first i was not going to send it, i wrote to get all the thoughs, feelings and questions out of my head, i was devastated..
I was stupid enought to send the mail, and i did not get the respond i was after. I just got the same as he was saying when he dumped me, again over a text.. and that i really had to give him time cause he dident know what he wanted in life. I only wanted him.
He said that he wanted to see me happy without him, something i think is compleatly bizzare, cause (and it might sound selfish) but i dident want to see him happy without me, in fact that was my biggest fear…
I got even more upset this time and it felt like he broke up With me again when i realized he was not even willing to work on us, to fix Things, he just wanted to end it.
The last thing i told him was “fuck you and Your ego” he then turned compleatly and started writing to me like “ehy” “common” and so on. i had to Block him for a while, and then i told him to leave me alone and that it hurted to much to have any sort of contact.
Its now five days since we had any sort of contact, he dont text me and i dont text him…
I thought all hope was out until i stumbeled over Your page..
I think i have red all on it and i desided to start my 30 dayse no-contact rule.
I have to allso say that after this my mum texted him (without me knowing) that he had to leve me alone and he responded “im so sorry, i dont know what to do for her, but i do what you think is best. please dont hate me! big kiss”
so thats my story.. i really love him and i would do about anything to find back to the love we had. But i dont know what to do.. please help me!!
Do you think i have any chance at all? I just love him to much to give up before i tried everything.
Lots of love and hope.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 7:12 am
HI Skinny love,
I think that’s the problem.. you made your world revolve around him and your future together with him.. it’s like you’ve got it all planned out and he doesn’t have to do anything else.. I get that you love him.. but he has to feel like a man.. to take matters to his hands and feel responsible but not too responsible for everything that you will appear to be needy.. you have to have your own life.