9 Proven Steps To Get Your Ex Back If YOU Broke Up With Him

572 thoughts on “You Broke Up With Your Ex Boyfriend And Now You Want Him Back”

AMA Bezz

October 30, 2020 at 7:16 pm

It been a month and 2weeks that I started dating my boyfriend.Everything was moving on well until he sent me a message saying he wants us to have sex.I tried explaining to him on why we can’t have it now since we’ve met in just a month and 2weeks without even knowing any of our parents or friends.But he insisted to have sex so it pissed me off and I initiated are breakup.The truth is I’m always cool around himI miss himI still love him.It been 3days since we broke up but I want him badly.What should I do.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 31, 2020 at 3:06 pm

Hi Ama, so if he is going to pressure you to have sex before you are ready then this is not a good guy… You did the right thing setting a boundary in your relationship he didnt respect your decision, so keep to your NC and let him worry that you are done. Reach out to him after 30 days if you still want him back.

Samantha

August 13, 2020 at 4:19 am

Hi,
I met this guy since November but started dating on January 1st up until May ( and then I broke up with him (Because I was still talking to my ex and I wanted to fix it) but we were still seeing each other (fwb). Then the last time was June when I ghosted him for 2 weeks. Then send him a huge apology and that I still wanted to be friends. Honestly those two weeks made me realize how important and good to me he had been. We actually had a friendship but I was a shitty person to him. I hurt him so much and I deeply regret it.

Keep in mind I was always honest from the beginning and I told him that I wasn’t over my ex and that I was going to hurt him, he chose to stay and try to make it work.
Long story short this guy was the nicest treated me like a queen. I can’t believe how stupid I was… I literally regret losing him and he knows it because I put so much energy in trying to get his forgiveness which i did receive but he said he didn’t feel the same anymore because I had push him away so far.

Last week I told him(over the phone) I was done begging and that I wanted no contact and he was sad, because he still wanted a possibility to being friends in the future.

I want to know if I have a chance with him. He is really hurt… I broke his heart. I didn’t want to but I did. I don’t think I’ll find someone as sweet and good of a person as he was with me. I’m honestly scared of never being able to have him again.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 15, 2020 at 3:27 pm

Hey Samantha, I can not tell you that you will or wont get him back, it isnt possible for me to predict that. However I can tell you if you work on your holy trinity and being Ungettable. Complete a full NC where you focus on yourself and not your ex and there is a good chance you will be able to reach out and get a successful conversation started and start rebuilding attraction

Immaculata

August 4, 2020 at 2:08 pm

Every message here is very beneficial. Put everything you are been told to do in action. Then you will see the outcome result
Silvia

July 6, 2020 at 8:33 pm

Hi, I have been dating this guy for 3months now, he’s amazing but I suspected he was cheating on me 3days ago and I broke up with him via Whatsapp. He said I was wrong but I know he wasn’t being honest. I immediately started the no contact rule cus even though I know he’s not being honest, I miss him and still want to be with him. I’m not ready to end things for real with him I just don’t want him to take me for granted again. Then he texted me today to tell me to have a nice day and added that I didn’t need to reply him. I don’t know what to do, I miss him and still want be with him and i don’t want him to think I broke up with him for real and move on. What should I do? Should I still continue with the no contact rule or should I reply to his message?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 7, 2020 at 9:23 pm

Hey Silvia, not his does not give you a reason to break no contact if you want to follow this program stick with it

Ala

July 1, 2020 at 6:24 pm

Hi. I was dating my boyfriend for about 3 months, but we had been talking as friends about 5 months before we began dating. Quarantine happened due to corona, and we were unable to see one another. I thought we would get through it, and come out stronger, but we didn’t. I dumped him and I’m starting to regret it. The main reason I dumped him was because I felt him distancing himself from me, like the energy from him changed. He came into my life first, and he had feelings for me long before I even thought of liking him. In the beginning, he would always try to keep the conversation going between us and would plan out things, but about 2 months into quarantine, he would reply back to me after a few hours with one word answers. I asked him many times to give me more attention, and to be more present but he wasn’t changing. I had a friend ask him 2 weeks after we broke up if he misses me, and I heard from her that he doesn’t want me back and he even asked my friend if she would want to begin dating him. A month has past since we broke up, and I’m feeling like I made the wrong decision. Should I even try to get back with him, or just move on ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 2, 2020 at 4:52 pm

Hey Ala, it really is your decision if you want to try to get him back. IF you do then reach out using one of the texts that Chris suggests in his articles

Christine

June 18, 2020 at 12:54 pm

Hi. I was dating with my bf for almost one year and I broke up with him three weeks ago. I broke up with him because I am having a mental breakdown at the time and he was not available when I need him due to exams and assignment. I knew I made a rash decision after calming myself down. I texted him a few days ago to tell him how sorry I am and I want us to be together again. But he refused. He said it is a hard time for him to go over the break up and he came to accept the truth recently. He continues saying that he couldn’t accept us to be back again, he wants to stay single now and be alone himself. Do I still have the chance to get him back with this situation now? What should I do to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 23, 2020 at 5:01 pm

Hi Christine, if you feel that you are having mental health problems I would suggest that you seek out some professional help to get you through that before considering getting back into a relationship. If you are feeling better and think that you can follow this process to get your ex back, then read some articles to understand how the program works and follow the information given

Esya

May 2, 2020 at 3:37 pm

I have been with this guy for a year now. He always says to go with the flow and late october, he cheated on me. December, he came back, telling me that he had no one to talk to.. and all along, i have been transparent with my feelings towards him but he didn’t give me an answer. I’ve been thinking for weeks if i should leave him for good and when i made my told him about my decision, he said that he was planning to get engaged with me. I feel so lost because all this while, I don’t know if he had feelings for me. And i feel like i blew my chance away. So, now, I don’t know if i should try getting him back or simply move on. Or will he comes back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 7, 2020 at 7:37 pm

Hey Esya I would suggest that you take some time apart in a No Contact where you decide what you want for yourself, do you want to be with him? do you trust him? If he is not very open emotionally then it is going to be that way consistently and you are not going to force him to openly speak about his emotions to you. If you decide you want him back then it is a 30 day NC and work on your holy trinity, then start the texting phase but avoid emotional conversations

Morgan Waters

May 1, 2020 at 1:59 pm

I dated a guy for a year. We grew a lot together. We go engaged last year in November. I broke it off with him three weeks after because I got scared: he was my second boyfriend, we slept together (my first) and I thought that clouded my judgement, my parents didn’t like him, and it was my second engagement that was only a year later (the first guy was a total mistake). I loved him with my whole heart and he was so invested. I felt bad for being sort of unsure. I needed time to think and grow up a little. I had asked him for space (move out and stop having sex) to help me get my head on straight, but he freaked out and talked me out of it (because he was scared I guess). I broke up with him sort of rashly and moved out. Then we didn’t talk for six months except twice. That’s when I texted him, just wanting to talk with him and see how he was doing. He was very kind, but I found out that he was seeing someone else. That broke my heart, but I don’t blame him. We have been texting a little and we met up to talk once. We both agree that we still love each other, but he doesn’t trust me yet. He is still seeing the other girl. She looks just like me. It’s painful to talk to him knowing this, but it’s also therapeutic because he’s still my best friend. Should I keep talking to him? Is this not fair to the other girl? I don’t want to ask him to leave her as I’m still trying to work out my broken heart and figure out my life before I’m ready to jump back in. It was the reason I broke up in the first place. I need to work on myself and break myself if codependency and a host of other issues. What next? Is he playing me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 9, 2020 at 5:08 pm

Hey Morgan, I wouldn’t say he is playing with you, but you need to be sure that you do not do the being there method end up breaking up his new relationship and then leave again. I suggest you speak to him as a friend while you decide if you want to try and get him back. If it is just the fact that you are lonely or missing being with “someone” then I would say that you need to stay away. I agree working on yourself, make sure that you are happy and secure being single before getting into a relationship again

Kelly

April 30, 2020 at 8:52 pm

Hi.
I’ve been seeing someone since November. It recently got more serious over the past 3 months and he said he wanted the relationship to progress… There was just one problem. He would never sleep over. We would be intimate and then he would leave. Most of the time, he said it was because his kids were home, which I understood, but lately, even when they weren’t home, there was always an excuse. We’ve been seeing each other weekly during quarantine as he is back and forth between the city and his country house. He calls me every day and we FaceTime almost every day. He says he cares about me, but it feels awful that he won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I told him last week that I needed a few days to think about some things (which freaked him out) and then I called him and told him how I feel about him not staying, that it makes me feel used and that’s not a scenario I’m interested in going forward. I told him I didn’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with and that if it’s a problem for him, we should move on. He apologized, said he understood and again said how much he cares for me and that he wants to get more serious. He came over last night and we had a great time. I went to give him a toothbrush and he informed me he wasn’t staying over. This really upset me, because I blatantly told him the other day how hurtful that was for me. I told him he should have told me before we were intimate that he wasn’t going to stay over and that I felt used and felt he disregarded my feelings. He made a dumb excuse about not wanting to walk home early in the rain and face his doorman when we are supposed to be social distancing. BS. So, I told him I’ve never felt so expendable and I don’t think we should speak anymore. I said I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to share a bed with me and I don’t want someone to share my bed out of obligation. He keeps saying he’s disappointed, he’s sorry, he thought we had a special connection and he cares about me. I wished him luck. That was that. I’m confused. I care about him a lot, but this is a dealbreaker for me. I’m hoping some time without contact will change things. He’s been married before and had a live in girlfriend in the past. So, he’s obviously shared his bed with others.
Cece

April 18, 2020 at 4:44 pm

So kind of a long story but basically we’ve dated almost 2 years. From January to about March I felt like something was off with him. Finally came clean right before quarantine began and told me he was completely hammered one night and a girl and him kissed at the bar for a moment. Obviously I was upset. And he felt awful and was terrified to lose me. We agreed we needed space. But he kept texting me snapping me, the works. So he saw every emotion of me working through it. The highs and the lows. I wasn’t sure whether we were working on things or broken up. So when I finally had worked through it I wrote him a note that said I think our relationship is worth fighting for, this was a few weeks later. He said he thought we’d been broken up for weeks. That he could see himself growing old with me but the indecisiveness made him indecisive he loved me but doesn’t know, said he needs time idk very confusing. So I was like ok i respect that and i wish you the best of luck. He was like what im always gonna be here? Didn’t respond for a few days. HE KEPT REACHING OUT. So i finally sent him a long text basically saying hey you broke up with me please respect my space as I am trying to respect yours. He says you broke up with me I explained how I viewed it all, and he never responded. Basically ignoring me from that point on. Unsure really what to do now. I wanted to work on things but I feel like I screwed things up by being so indecisive and now saying for him to respect my space. Did i blow it?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 5:24 pm

Hey Cece, so I would reach out to your ex with a text that Chris suggested but 21days form the time you sent the text asking him to leave you be

Grace

March 27, 2020 at 4:44 pm

Hi. I recently moved abroad for college and I had the most perfect boyfriend for 2 years, the stress and moving really messed with my head and I broke up with him twice in the process of our long distance relationship even know he did nothing wrong and it was all me, after the 2nd time he had enough, he said he doesn’t think he could be happy with me anymore, I regretted the break up immediately and told him how sorry and regretful i am i but his family and friends have told him I’m not worth it anymore and to move on and I really feel like he is listening to them and won’t let me back in because I really meant it this time that I would change my actions for us, he told me he still has feelings for me but I went too far this time. I have started the no contact rule for afew days now but he hasn’t texted me once and I don’t think he is going too. I really don’t know what to do anymore, do you have any advice because I’m nothing but heartbroken since
Dami

March 25, 2020 at 12:10 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex have been together for almost 3 years and I left him at the beginning of this month because I think he’s cheating on me and someone confirmed that he is. I asked him and he said he’s not cheating. After we broke up, the girl posted a video of them both(dancing), which made me not believe him again. But it’s been so hard living without getting texts or calls from him like I used to.
It doesn’t seem like he regrets or misses me. And I’m not sure whether to ask him, if he wants to get back together, please help me because I’m tired of waking up crying.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 28, 2020 at 9:39 pm

Hi Dami make sure you stick to your No Contact, the fact he has behaved the way he has shows he is not too upset especially if there is a video with him dancing with the same girl. Keep to a 30 day NC and then reach out if you still want him back at the end of that

Krisha

March 18, 2020 at 8:41 am

Hey….so I broke up with my boyfriend of 14 months about 3 months ago over text….It was pretty bad….he even begged me not to but i did….I had been bored of him n I felt like it wasn’t the perfect fairytale romance…..I didnt listen to him n broke up….however now I miss him really bad n have realized that I still love him alot….but he refuses to talk to me n says that I’ve lost my place in his heart….I don’t know what to do….please help….

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 19, 2020 at 11:41 am

Hey Krisha, so if you want to get your ex back then you need to start the process with no contact, if you got bored of the relationship the first time around then chances are the same is going to happen if you and your ex do not communicate better the second time around

hayley

March 10, 2020 at 5:26 pm

Hello,

So i have frantically been scrolling through your site and it has become very helpful however i’d like some advice on my personal circumstance. Basically I’ve been seeing this boy since October so around 5 months. Everything had been going great, i had met his friends and family but it seemed that this was taking it’s toll as i think he was finding it a bit intense. He also said he thought we sometimes spoke for the sake of it. Which i can understand as i am a person who is on my phone a lot and i have been working on that as a personal flaw. 2 weeks ago things started becoming quieter and as it was approaching the weekend (we have hung out every weekend since we met) he was due to come to a gig i was performing at. My family were going to this gig so it was a big deal to me as he hadn’t met them yet. I asked him if he still wanted to come and if i was still going home with him afterwards. To which he replied yes of course. So he came to the gig and met my family and everything was fine however when it finished and we got home things seemed a little different. Myself and him have a very close chemistry especially sexually so lets just say its not often we go home and just watch tv. But this evening we did and then we went to bed, he said goodnight and rolled over to go to sleep. Of course i was worried as this had never happened before. In the morning when we woke up same thing he didn’t want to touch me pretty much. I got a bit upset and that’s when he said he doesn’t think this is working. He said he thought something was missing but he didn’t know what was wrong as he has feelings for me and he cares for me. He finds me very attractive and loves spending time together … so i am totally confused. He’s only ever had one girlfriend before me and it was 8 years. He is a lovely boy and isnt the type to mess people around but i think he became freaked out with his feelings and maybe things were going too fast for him. I tried to be understanding and give him some space but we ended up messaging all week. Then unplanned but we ended up at the same pub at the weekend (with his ex and her new partner) we all ended up hanging out and i ended up going home with him. We couldn’t stay away from each other but now i feel even more confused. I haven’t spoken to him since Sunday night and im finding it hard not to message him but im trying to make him miss me.

Any advice would be amazing?

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 23, 2020 at 4:47 pm

Hi Hayley, so if you want him to miss you then you have to complete a No Contact, this includes his family and friends for the time being too. Read the articles about being Ungettable and how to complete an active No Contact and this will help keep you busy during this time.

Dee

December 8, 2019 at 6:33 am

Hi Shaunna,

Thanks for your response.. I will try to follow the program.. I know it’s gonna be difficult, but worth a try..

Thanks again!!
Dee

December 6, 2019 at 7:04 pm

Hi Chris,
l met this guy on an online dating app.. we have been chatting/calling since 3 months now.. we haven’t met in person.. after the first month of chatting, he had to go to his native n he s gonna b there for next 3-4 months.. there is no internet or sms service in that area so we would only call each other.. he seemed very emotional, honest guy and cared for me.. he calls me every morning and we would talk for 20-30 mins everyday.. his parents got divorced when he was a kid and had a difficult childhood.. he was in relationship with many girls and says he is not good with relationships and doesn’t want a commitment as of now…. last month he stopped calling me all of a sudden and answering my calls for 2 days n third day he picked my call but gave me blunt answers.. i got emotional and started to cry and confessed that i am falling for him, in turn he said that he is into me and because he doesn’t want a commitment he stopped answering my calls, as at a later stage it ll hurt us a lot.. i was so attached to him that i wouldn’t let him go.. n we started to call each other again.. from the very beginning i have noticed that he doesn’t like me going out with friends for a movie or party or anything..n whenever i do, we end up arguing or he stops answering my calls.. he advises me to spend more time with my parents, which is good i agree .. but i need a social life too.. he does not socialise much and doesn’t talk to anyone much.. he mentioned this several times in past 3 months that he likes talking to me and he has never spoken to anyone as much as he does with me.. i know he likes me.. this last fight was again because i went for a bday party with friends(though he did not admit it)..he called me that evening but doesn’t want to talk n said i m busy i ll call u later..i called him again n again n he got irritated n asked me not to bother him..i was upset that he fought over a silly thing n i texted him “” I am really sorry about yesterday… I have never called anyone in my life so many times when they said they were busy.. i think i m interfering a lot in your Life..even though i like you a lot doesn’t mean i can bother you so much… you take care of your health and family and have patience in life… Thanks for your short visit in my life- i m gonna cherish it forever… I ll miss you.. take care again !! Bye !!””…. and i deleted his entire chat conversation ( when there is internet, he ll receive this text) .. i regretted it later, but i cant do anything now, the chat was already deleted .. I thought he s angry n needs some space so i called him after 4days, he did not pick.. i tried again the same afternoon and next morning, he didn’t pick again.. after a week, he replied to my text saying ” wishing you a great life ahead.. it was great talking to you.. be good and happy in life.. take care and bye .”is it over? i like him and want things to work out.. i know moving on is an option but i dont want to giveup so soon..

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 10:38 pm

Hey Dee so if you want to try get this guy back then following the program is your best bet, but if he is not willing to invest time into talking with you then there is a chance this can be a long process where you will need plenty of emotional control and patience

Lee

October 14, 2019 at 7:07 am

Hello,
My ex and I dated for two and a half years. I broke up with him after we both suffered a loss and he wasn’t there to support me. We got back together after he poured his heart out to me and promised to change (which he did). We got engaged and talked about moving in together. However, I was never able to forgive him for abandoning me during a time of need. It’s been two years since we broke up. I still love him. I’ve been wanting to reach out to him but I haven’t been able to find the words and the longer I waited the harder it got. I’m pretty sure it’s too late but I can’t stop thinking about him.
BE

October 5, 2019 at 4:00 pm

Hello there,
My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years. We moved in together and got a dog. About 4months ago, I started feeling unappreciated and so I gave my ex the cold shoulder for 2 months before leaving him alone in the apartment and moving back with my dad. A few days after that, I ended things with him.

I quickly regret doing that but felt it was wrong to try and take it back, so I just left it at that. About a month ago, I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he wasn’t sure if we should get back together because of how I made him feel in those 2 months I completely rejected him before breaking up; we agreed on friendship and i let him control the interactions. Recently, I told him again how I felt and apologized for everything I did and that I regret what I did and he told me that he definitely couldn’t get back with me because it hurt too much (even though he said he really wanted to); we once again agreed on friendship but he hasn’t spoken to me since (it’s been about 2 days). Will NC and following your steps work for a situation like mine?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 6, 2019 at 3:11 pm

Hey BE, so you’ve hurt him so he needs time to get over that but you also need to earn his trust again as a possible romantic partner. I suggest doing the NC and then doing the being there method even though there isn’t another woman on the scene essentially you need to show him how you are the best choice for him out of anyone he potentially does get to know over the next few weeks.

Darcy

September 18, 2019 at 9:41 am

My name is Darcy. I am interested in winning back my ex boyfriend. I am not sure of my chances of it working or not, or how to go about it in an appropriate way. Let me explain mine and my ex boyfriends situation.

Two years ago I was accepted into a position that would allow me to work in another country. This position had always been a dream of mine and I explained this to him before him and I were even a couple.

Him and I dated casually, then became an official couple for about a year and a half. I ended up applying to this job and was accepted in. It was a very difficult decision for me to either leave for two years abroad, or stay with him. I ended up leaving because I knew if I didn’t, we may end up breaking up in the future and I would then decide to leave abroad, or worse, him and I would stay together and a part of me would hold onto resentment that I didn’t fulfill my dream. So I left the relationship, knowing the risk of losing him. Him and I decided together to not attempt long distance. He supported my decision, although I always knew he wished I would have stayed, but did not want to be selfish. Overall though, him and I had a great relationship and ended on very good terms.

Him and I have talked and caught up on life every few months during the time I’ve been abroad. Ive been gone two years and I am now returning home in two months.

I recently heard he had been seeing another woman. I reached out to him directly to ask. He confirmed and said he has been seeing her casually for about a year, and that they became official ‘a bit ago.’ I then told him how I felt about him still and that I had thought a lot about reaching out to try it again with him. Then I found out this information and I was very confused and disappointed, but that I would respect his relationship.

I am wondering now what the chances are that he may come back to me? Is there any way I can pursue him while still respecting his current relationship, or is that not possible? There are many factors involved and I am confused on my next best step to take, if any step at all.

What should I do?

Darcy

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 19, 2019 at 5:19 pm

Hi Darcy, so if you were to want your ex back, you need to read about the being there method. You do need to have some no contact period between you both too as this interaction was emotional and he just told you he was in a relationship now. So NC 30 days minimum and work on yourself in that time to be the ungettable girl (you can also read up on this topic through many articles)

Caitlin

July 20, 2019 at 3:31 am

Hey Chris & team

I have a unique situation and I am in need of some advice. My ex boyfriend and I dated for 1 year and I broke up with him. I’m a teacher and I needed to move to a new state for my career and he is moving to a new state for Grad School. We’ll be about 1000 miles apart! We both knew of each others situation when we started dating and we planned to move together but I was not mentally straight and I was having a lot of stress and anxiety and I got cold feet about moving and I broke up with him and immediately regretted it! We didn’t talk for about 35 days and now we’re talking again. I just bought your program so everything thats been happening between he and I for about 3 weeks was before your program! We started talking strong and its been good so far but lately I’ve been communicating with him more and he’s been kind of “bland” with our conversations. Just wondering what level should I be focusing on in your program? And how to make a long distance relationship a possibility? Thanks!

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