How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

How are you supposed to get an ex boyfriend back if he cheated on you? Do you even want to get him back? I’ll admit that these are a few of the most asked questions I get on this site. Today I am going to do my very best to answer them both for you. If you are new to my site then just a warning, every single page I write goes far more in-depth than my peers. Every page draws upon in-depth research (from experts), stories from women who have had success and my own personal experience. So, rather than write more filler content I would prefer to talk about the stuff that can actually do something for you!

Getting A Cheating Boyfriend Back… Is It Possible?

Heck ya it is possible! Of course, the real question is do you even want him back? I have found that a lot of the women who I have worked with who have been cheated on decide not to get their ex boyfriends back because they feel a lot better about themselves after they read the process on this page.

Now, a word about this page:

If you came here looking to get back your ex boyfriend then this page can help guide you. However, it can’t give you the step by step instructions that you are craving. If that is really what you are looking for then I urge you to check out the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO system that I am always going on and on about. Of course, I still want you to read this page because it contains valuable information on understanding the mind of a cheating boyfriend and how to approach the situation you are in. But, if you want a true step by step guide check out the link below:

Learn More About Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Good, now that I have that out of the way we can proceed to understanding why men cheat.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Cheating

Understanding why your boyfriend cheated on you is important. In this section I am going to give you some insight into the male psyche so you can understand why a man will cheat on you. Obviously, there are a lot of different reasons that a man will ultimately decide to cheat on his girlfriend but I would have to say that the most common reason would be because he is just plain horny.

Basically, he sees something he wants and he goes and gets it. While, I think it is a horrible betrayal of trust to cheat on someone (why not break up with them before you move on?) I think a case can be made here that evolution plays a role in his “horniness.” At his very core, a man is instilled with a primal need to replicate/reproduce. Humans were never intended to be monogamous creatures. While I think it says a lot about the advancement of humans that we have slowly developed into a race that seeks out a significant other we weren’t originally intended to do so.

Now, I don’t want you to sit there and feel like I am in any way “for” cheating because I AM NOT. I am simply explaining to you why your ex would feel a need to cheat on you. I suppose there is a little comfort to take in the fact that your ex didn’t cheat on you because of something you did but because he can’t properly his sexual urges. Which leads us to the next section.

Should You Even Try To Get A Cheating Boyfriend Back?

optimism

As I write these words I am little conflicted. A part of me wants to tell you to move on but another part of me wants to help you. You clearly came here because you want your ex boyfriend back and I want to help you do that but above all I want to help YOU. Sometimes that means telling you to run the other way. So, I am just going to say this:

The only way that I can justify giving you my help is if you have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex.

This means that I CAN NOT help you if you

  • Don’t have a good reason for getting back together.
  • If he has cheated on you multiple times.
  • If you don’t think you can do any better than your ex.
  • The relationship you had was physically or mentally abusive.

However, I WILL be willing to offer you my help if you.

  • Have a legitimate reason for wanting to get together again.
  • If the cheating was an isolated incident (AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN)

Trusting Yourself

strength of gut

Here is the deal, before you try to get your ex boyfriend back (if he cheated on you) I am going to ask you to do something that may be a little unorthodox. I want you to implement a no contact rule. If you are familiar with my site then you know I am a really big believer in the no contact rule. Usually, the most powerful part of the no contact rule is it’s ability to break a guy down and make him wonder why you haven’t tried contacting him yet, making him really be on the edge of his seat for when you finally do decide to reach out.

BUT

You are in a very unique situation so I am going to ask you implement the no contact rule for an entirely different reason. I want you to use it as a sort of self check. As you read my page you may still be pretty close to your breakup, time wise. As you will probably realize, making big decisions like going back to an ex who cheated on you isn’t a choice you should make when you are so emotionally unstable (no offense.) The normal no contact period is supposed to last one month or 30 days. That means you can’t text, email, facebook, google plus or talk to your ex on the phone. You essentially cut off all communication. However, I would say that you up the no contact period in this case to 45 days

If after that amount of time you still want to get your ex back then I say you should go right ahead. Notice how you are going to be using the no contact rule on three fronts.

  1. To get your ex a little worried that you will never contact him again.
  2. To use the time to work on yourself (healing)
  3. To decide if your ex is even worth getting back

worth itDeciding If He Is Worth Getting Back

During your 45 days of no contact you are obviously going to have some thinking to do. As stated above, you are going to have to decide if you want to take your ex boyfriend back. You may find that after 45 days you just don’t have the same desire you did to get him back when you first started the NC period. It that happens to you then you should probably move on to someone new.

Since we are dealing with someone who cheated on you the thing you really need to figure out is if he is the type of person that will cheat on a moments notice. Here are some qualities that cheaters tend to have.

  • Narcissistic (Selfish and only thinks of himself.)
  • Chronic Liars (Everyone lies but if someone does it over and over you may have to take a step back and decide if this is someone worth being with.)
  • Someone who gets jealous very easily (If he is constantly accusing you of inappropriate behavior.)
  • Constantly flirts with other girls (Every guy will flirt every now and then but if it is common behavior for him then be careful.)
  • If your ex has cheated in the past (Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes but if he cheated in the past then that behavior is NOT a one time thing.)

Contacting Your Ex

contact

The time has come, you have waited, hopefully 45 days, and it is finally time to try and start getting your ex boyfriend back. Now, before I go into some long explanation about each step you should take I do feel it is important to mention that I have put together a HUGE resource on how to get your ex back here. While I will talk about what you should do on this page I can tell you that the page I just linked to goes into way more detail (which you will definitely need.)

Alright, now that I have that out of the way lets dive in to how you should contact your ex boyfriend after 45 days.

Usually what happens is your ex will have contacted you at one point during the NC period. That is a really good sign because it means they are interested or concerned about you. Basically, they are feeling something towards you which is what you want. Now, the whole point of the no contact rule was to NOT contact your ex so you aren’t exactly allowed to respond to them after they contact you during the initial 45 day period. Understand that you essentially ignoring them will make them really angry.  I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DON’T CARE HOW THEY FEEL. At least, not at this point.

What is going to happen is that when you finally do decide to contact them they are going to be filled with joy. They have waited all this time to hear from you and when that moment finally comes they are going to be so excited that they will probably run up and down the stairs and do all the things that guys do when they are happy.

Now, here is an interesting question. What is the best way to contact your ex boyfriend?

Choice 1: Calling (NOOOO)

Choice 2: Writing A Letter or Emailing (NOOOO)

Choice 3: Texting (YESSS)

Before I move on I am going to take a few moments to go through each of the choices and explain why texting is the way to go.

Calling - It’s way too much way too soon. As I have said multiple times throughout this site, you have to earn the right to call your ex or in this case, your ex has to earn the right to call you. Besides, when you talk on the phone you don’t have time to think. You have to say just the right thing at just the right time for things to work out the way you want them to. However, the biggest disadvantage for calling an ex is the fact that you could potentially get angry, raise your voice and start a fight if something is said that you don’t like. Now, it may seem like I am swearing off calling altogether but I promise you I am not. In fact, there is a time and a place to use calling as a way to contact your ex but only after your ex earns the right for you to call them. I feel I do a good job of explaining when the proper time to call is in the link I provided at the beginning of this section.funny gf

Writing A Letter – It’s creepy. Can you imagine getting a letter after 45 days of no contact from someone that you thought didn’t want to talk to you? Besides, sending a letter is a bold statement that basically screams I STILL LOVE YOU. There is no way to that sending a letter is “light” it is basically an all or nothing kind of deal or as I like to say, it’s a low percentage shot of getting your ex back.

Emailing- A couple of problems with this. First, does your ex even check their email? I can go days, sometimes months without checking certain emails (I have multiple.) Secondly, there is no way that you can get an instant response. With a text if your ex doesn’t respond to you in a day then you can pretty much determine “ok, well that didn’t work.” However, with an email it can sometimes take 2-3 days for a response. I think you have waited long enough.

Texting- Texting is really the best option you have for a number of reasons. First off, it gives you time to think (which calling doesn’t allow.) Every single text message you can craft with time and thought. It is also impossible to show you are angry by raising your voice through a text. Add in the fact that you can get a quick response and you are good to go!

What Do You Say To Them?

Alright great, so now you know that texting is the way to go if you want to get your ex back the question becomes “what do you say in your texts?” I am not going to pretend that this is the easiest thing to do in the world because quite honestly anyone who claims that is lying. Getting your ex back is not going to be an easy task. What I will say is that I have written a page that will help you make the “what to say” process even easier. Check out my texting guide that will help you through what to say to your ex boyfriend.

Sarah and Kai

The Sarah Vs. Kai Case Study

Put your email in the box on the right to follow along as I show two women exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.Right Arrow

389 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You
  1. Hazel
    April 20, 2014 | 9:02 am

    Hi, Chris.

    My ex-boyfriend and i were dating for 7 years. Our relationship was great and full of happiness along years. We rarely argue. We loved each other and planed to get marry next year.
    However, 2 months before our break up, he joined a band and our relationship was getting worse. He was enthusiastically to join every meeting or practice of the band. After that, he started to comment on me that i acting cold to him with less response and always being late when we have a date. When i heard of these comments, i was fear as he never comment bad on me before. I started to change those bad habits, but the result was not significant yet.
    Later on, as mentioned, he broke up with me. Saying that he felt i was cold to him when we were texting or having a date (i had self-reflection after the break up that i should have did better on this, though it is my personality). Also, he mentioned that he no longer feel as happy as being with me before. So, he decided to break up.
    I could not bear with it and I tried to get him back by all the wrong ways (just realized it after visiting your webpage :’( ) for month and a half: texting a lot, calling few times, sending him a LONG letter… he replied me he wants to be alone with the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” excuse then ignored all my later messages.
    There was no ways for me to understand his sudden change, so i did something really bad that i checked his email. I found out that he is now in a relationship with a girl from the band, and they started to date just 10 days after our break up.
    I did not know whether it is a rebound relationship (hopefully it is!), they are happily together for almost 2 months already. They had not make their relationship public yet I guess.
    My last message sent to him was on April, 4. Should I break the no contact after 30 days since that day or should wait until he is the one who find me first? What if he has no response to my no contact after 60 days or something, should i keep on no contact? There is also something I have to return him, is it a good reason to initiate our contact again?
    I really want him back, i DO believe we can work on our relationship better and have a great future if we have good communication.

    btw, this webpage did bring me hope and confidence in getting him back ;) THANK YOU!

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 9:13 pm

      I think 60 days might be pretty long.

  2. Britt
    April 20, 2014 | 5:41 am

    How about this for an article? How to get over your cheating ex when you know he’s happy with your ex best friend.

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 8:59 pm

      Well, I think in that case its best to cut ties with both of them.

  3. Cyndi
    April 18, 2014 | 4:01 am

    Hi I had a boyfriend before. But I worked overseas before for two years were more than one year before I leave. Then when im back where still ok but after 8 months I worked overseas again. Then I came back in my country after 6 months the first time we meet were ok. The second time we meet were still ok and when the third time we meet were still ok but in the evening he called me and he told me he dont want me anymore. He said that he cannot return the love i give. I said its ok. I know hes busy i understand. But he insist that he want to end our relationship but i said no i dont want but still he wants. Then the next day i tried to call him and text him and beg him to come back. I told him that im going to their house so that we can talk about us. About what happened. But he told me that i dont have to do that because its useless. He said he love someone new and he dont love me anymore. But even though he told me that i still dont believe. Because i really want him back. What can i do? Im so stress.

    • admin
      April 18, 2014 | 3:40 pm

      Did he cheat on you though? You posted in the cheating section.

  4. EMC
    April 12, 2014 | 11:47 am

    Hi, Chris
    Should I forgive my LDR boyfriend for cheating on me?
    He doesnt know I saw the pics of him and her yet ( his coworker oversea ) after I took 16 hours flight to be with him.
    The last day we were together, he felt so guilty, crying, and kept saying ” I am sorry..I can be better”… but didnt confess and I didnt confront him even I knew.
    It’s been a month since I got back. I am still firguring out what to do… Thinking of emailing him that I knew and I should leave him. But I still love him and want to be with him…

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 4:37 pm

      Thats up to you.

      Do you think this was a one time thing?

      • EMC
        April 13, 2014 | 11:11 am

        No. He’s gonna see her at some point in the future for work for sure. Just would that be a rebound? Read the article of The Complete Guide To Understand Your Boyfriend, my situation just ticked the boxes of reason2 (that’s pretty much my story) and reason 3 in the cheater part.
        If I break up with him, and implement No Contact rule, can I get him bak? He’s saying he wants to come visit me…

  5. Emily
    April 11, 2014 | 4:30 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago to my utter surprise, I knew we had problems, but I didn’t realize this bad. He was unhappy with our communication and my weight and our sex life becuase of the weight; because I kept saying I would change it, but I actually gained weight instead. He says that made him loose trust in my promises especially with the communication because he felt he tried harder to fix our problems then I did. I know he’s right on some levels, but there was a lot else going on too. I lost my job 4 mths into our lease, my friend moved into help with her 3 young kids into our 2 bdroom apt! That was so difficult and looking back, really stupid. It took me months to find another good job, which in the meantime both of them were begging me to just find any old job, which was hard bc I was the one who made all the money before and supported them. To say the least it has been stressful. I don’t know if it’s all over because we just “don’t work” as he says, or because maybe we just ran our of patience and time and grew apart with life and with each other. When we started dating, we were best friends and in college together, but I graduated 2 years ago and he’s still going and kept changing majors… I always felt we were off track because of that. Then add an awkward roommate situation we took on to pay bills… he says it just sped up what would have happen, but I feel different. Hes very logical and looks at things with little emotion when making hard decisions, and now he’s “shut his emotions off” because so busy with school and work and moving out (still in process of that, so living together still).. and i’m going crazy with them all the time!!! And we both would like to at least be friends because we were before.. but also for me because I think this feels wrong to quit after 4 years.
    I have done a lot of talking to him to the point that he says he can’t handle the emotional stuff anymore, that he if I even bring up the past, he goes quiet. I can’t help it, he was my rock, my confidant, idk what to do!
    I know I’ve talked too much to him and any space I give him now, he will gladly take. Lately he has been trying to be there for me, which has been sweet, but only as friends and because he says it harder for me because i wasn’t prepared as him.. he had been debating for weeks when to talk to me! It feels like he just turned it off while i still wait for my kisses. I just want to know he still cares, which he says he still loves me and cares, but he has to move on. I just want to know he thinks abt all the things we are losing and will miss and i want him to realize they are still worth fighting for.
    I did find out he cheated 6 mnths ago, but not until a week ago (broken up almost month now).. and he never told me bc he regretted it so much, he was just unhappy with our sex life (again i’m overweight and mind.. he is not, he loves working out) and didn’t want to hurt me after he thought abt what he had done. He never did it again. I don’t know if i can forgive him yet, but at this point its not like i can punish him.. and all i see is that i wish i knew then bc i just didn’t realize how bad it all was from his perspective. I thought we had time to work on us still since life had gotten so crazy. I would like at least the chance to work it out, but its so complicated.. i just know I still love him…
    He won’t ask my forgiveness for cheating bc he says he doesn’t deserve it. And I just still love him.. i cant shake that.
    Also how do you do it when we still have some bills and accounts together and will take months to end? Is it too late? Have I done too much damage to make this program work like the NC rule? I think we have something real and there is a lot going on, but I want to try! I really do. I want the chance to get him back.. He says he has a small hope things could go that way, but right now he doesn’t see it, but I do. I really do. Is it Too LATE???

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