How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You


How are you supposed to get an ex boyfriend back if he cheated on you? Do you even want to get him back? I’ll admit that these are a few of the most asked questions I get on this site. Today I am going to do my very best to answer them both for you. If you are new to my site then just a warning, every single page I write goes far more in-depth than my peers. Every page draws upon in-depth research (from experts), stories from women who have had success and my own personal experience. So, rather than write more filler content I would prefer to talk about the stuff that can actually do something for you!

Getting A Cheating Boyfriend Back… Is It Possible?

Heck ya it is possible! Of course, the real question is do you even want him back? I have found that a lot of the women who I have worked with who have been cheated on decide not to get their ex boyfriends back because they feel a lot better about themselves after they read the process on this page.

Now, a word about this page:

If you came here looking to get back your ex boyfriend then this page can help guide you. However, it can’t give you the step by step instructions that you are craving. If that is really what you are looking for then I urge you to check out the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO system that I am always going on and on about. Of course, I still want you to read this page because it contains valuable information on understanding the mind of a cheating boyfriend and how to approach the situation you are in. But, if you want a true step by step guide check out the link below:

Learn More About Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Good, now that I have that out of the way we can proceed to understanding why men cheat.

Why Do Men Cheat?


Understanding why your boyfriend cheated on you is important. In this section I am going to give you some insight into the male psyche so you can understand why a man will cheat on you. Obviously, there are a lot of different reasons that a man will ultimately decide to cheat on his girlfriend but I would have to say that the most common reason would be because he is just plain horny.

Basically, he sees something he wants and he goes and gets it. While, I think it is a horrible betrayal of trust to cheat on someone (why not break up with them before you move on?) I think a case can be made here that evolution plays a role in his “horniness.” At his very core, a man is instilled with a primal need to replicate/reproduce. Humans were never intended to be monogamous creatures. While I think it says a lot about the advancement of humans that we have slowly developed into a race that seeks out a significant other we weren’t originally intended to do so.

Now, I don’t want you to sit there and feel like I am in any way “for” cheating because I AM NOT. I am simply explaining to you why your ex would feel a need to cheat on you. I suppose there is a little comfort to take in the fact that your ex didn’t cheat on you because of something you did but because he can’t properly his sexual urges. Which leads us to the next section.

Should You Even Try To Get A Cheating Boyfriend Back?


As I write these words I am little conflicted. A part of me wants to tell you to move on but another part of me wants to help you. You clearly came here because you want your ex boyfriend back and I want to help you do that but above all I want to help YOU. Sometimes that means telling you to run the other way. So, I am just going to say this:

The only way that I can justify giving you my help is if you have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex.

This means that I CAN NOT help you if you

  • Don’t have a good reason for getting back together.
  • If he has cheated on you multiple times.
  • If you don’t think you can do any better than your ex.
  • The relationship you had was physically or mentally abusive.

However, I WILL be willing to offer you my help if you.

  • Have a legitimate reason for wanting to get together again.
  • If the cheating was an isolated incident (AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN)

Trusting Yourself

strength of gut

Here is the deal, before you try to get your ex boyfriend back (if he cheated on you) I am going to ask you to do something that may be a little unorthodox. I want you to implement a no contact rule. If you are familiar with my site then you know I am a really big believer in the no contact rule. Usually, the most powerful part of the no contact rule is it’s ability to break a guy down and make him wonder why you haven’t tried contacting him yet, making him really be on the edge of his seat for when you finally do decide to reach out.


You are in a very unique situation so I am going to ask you implement the no contact rule for an entirely different reason. I want you to use it as a sort of self check. As you read my page you may still be pretty close to your breakup, time wise. As you will probably realize, making big decisions like going back to an ex who cheated on you isn’t a choice you should make when you are so emotionally unstable (no offense.) The normal no contact period is supposed to last one month or 30 days. That means you can’t text, email, facebook, google plus or talk to your ex on the phone. You essentially cut off all communication. However, I would say that you up the no contact period in this case to 45 days

If after that amount of time you still want to get your ex back then I say you should go right ahead. Notice how you are going to be using the no contact rule on three fronts.

  1. To get your ex a little worried that you will never contact him again.
  2. To use the time to work on yourself (healing)
  3. To decide if your ex is even worth getting back

worth itDeciding If He Is Worth Getting Back

During your 45 days of no contact you are obviously going to have some thinking to do. As stated above, you are going to have to decide if you want to take your ex boyfriend back. You may find that after 45 days you just don’t have the same desire you did to get him back when you first started the NC period. It that happens to you then you should probably move on to someone new.

Since we are dealing with someone who cheated on you the thing you really need to figure out is if he is the type of person that will cheat on a moments notice. Here are some qualities that cheaters tend to have.

  • Narcissistic (Selfish and only thinks of himself.)
  • Chronic Liars (Everyone lies but if someone does it over and over you may have to take a step back and decide if this is someone worth being with.)
  • Someone who gets jealous very easily (If he is constantly accusing you of inappropriate behavior.)
  • Constantly flirts with other girls (Every guy will flirt every now and then but if it is common behavior for him then be careful.)
  • If your ex has cheated in the past (Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes but if he cheated in the past then that behavior is NOT a one time thing.)

Contacting Your Ex


The time has come, you have waited, hopefully 45 days, and it is finally time to try and start getting your ex boyfriend back. Now, before I go into some long explanation about each step you should take I do feel it is important to mention that I have put together a HUGE resource on how to get your ex back here. While I will talk about what you should do on this page I can tell you that the page I just linked to goes into way more detail (which you will definitely need.)

Alright, now that I have that out of the way lets dive in to how you should contact your ex boyfriend after 45 days.

Usually what happens is your ex will have contacted you at one point during the NC period. That is a really good sign because it means they are interested or concerned about you. Basically, they are feeling something towards you which is what you want. Now, the whole point of the no contact rule was to NOT contact your ex so you aren’t exactly allowed to respond to them after they contact you during the initial 45 day period. Understand that you essentially ignoring them will make them really angry.  I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DON’T CARE HOW THEY FEEL. At least, not at this point.

What is going to happen is that when you finally do decide to contact them they are going to be filled with joy. They have waited all this time to hear from you and when that moment finally comes they are going to be so excited that they will probably run up and down the stairs and do all the things that guys do when they are happy.

Now, here is an interesting question. What is the best way to contact your ex boyfriend?

Choice 1: Calling (NOOOO)

Choice 2: Writing A Letter or Emailing (NOOOO)

Choice 3: Texting (YESSS)

Before I move on I am going to take a few moments to go through each of the choices and explain why texting is the way to go.

Calling - It’s way too much way too soon. As I have said multiple times throughout this site, you have to earn the right to call your ex or in this case, your ex has to earn the right to call you. Besides, when you talk on the phone you don’t have time to think. You have to say just the right thing at just the right time for things to work out the way you want them to. However, the biggest disadvantage for calling an ex is the fact that you could potentially get angry, raise your voice and start a fight if something is said that you don’t like. Now, it may seem like I am swearing off calling altogether but I promise you I am not. In fact, there is a time and a place to use calling as a way to contact your ex but only after your ex earns the right for you to call them. I feel I do a good job of explaining when the proper time to call is in the link I provided at the beginning of this section.funny gf

Writing A Letter – It’s creepy. Can you imagine getting a letter after 45 days of no contact from someone that you thought didn’t want to talk to you? Besides, sending a letter is a bold statement that basically screams I STILL LOVE YOU. There is no way to that sending a letter is “light” it is basically an all or nothing kind of deal or as I like to say, it’s a low percentage shot of getting your ex back.

Emailing- A couple of problems with this. First, does your ex even check their email? I can go days, sometimes months without checking certain emails (I have multiple.) Secondly, there is no way that you can get an instant response. With a text if your ex doesn’t respond to you in a day then you can pretty much determine “ok, well that didn’t work.” However, with an email it can sometimes take 2-3 days for a response. I think you have waited long enough.

Texting- Texting is really the best option you have for a number of reasons. First off, it gives you time to think (which calling doesn’t allow.) Every single text message you can craft with time and thought. It is also impossible to show you are angry by raising your voice through a text. Add in the fact that you can get a quick response and you are good to go!

What Do You Say To Them?

Alright great, so now you know that texting is the way to go if you want to get your ex back the question becomes “what do you say in your texts?” I am not going to pretend that this is the easiest thing to do in the world because quite honestly anyone who claims that is lying. Getting your ex back is not going to be an easy task. What I will say is that I have written a page that will help you make the “what to say” process even easier. Check out my texting guide that will help you through what to say to your ex boyfriend.

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
435 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You
  1. Kim
    July 25, 2014 | 12:59 am

    I stumbled on this because I’m guilty of googling everything under the sun about a cheating boyfriend. I have been with my boyfriend for three years and he moved in a little over six months ago. We are both in our 40′s (if that matters…it just feels funny to say boyfriend after a certain age). ;) He always brought fresh flowers every week, told me he loved me daily, and was always by my side. We entertained family and friends every weekend and we’re close to each other’s families. However, he would withdraw at times. I don’t know how to explain it…but he’d go play poker or something and leave out details. Anyway, I went through his phone a week and a day ago. I was floored to find his active profile on He had messaged women in September and October, before we decided to live together. And then I found a message from February (4 1/2 months ago) where he asked a woman to meet for drink or coffee so he could get to know her better.

    I texted him and told him I was in his account and he needed to get his things and get out. He picked up some things the following night but his furniture is still here. I did send him an email about how much he had hurt me and he sent an apology but it didn’t say anything about a second chance. He just said how much he hated himself for what he did. I never responded to the email. Now that a little time has passed, I’m wondering if I was too abrupt. I honestly don’t know if I want him back…but I don’t know if I “don’t” want it to work either. Any advice?

    • admin
      July 25, 2014 | 3:02 pm

      Your not guilty for wanting to understand more.

      I hear you about the boyfriend/age thing. Usually people at that stage are talking about husbands.

      May I ask why you want him back?

      • Kim
        July 25, 2014 | 3:32 pm

        I appreciate your reply Chris. I’m second guessing myself because we had built a pretty good life together. We really had a lot of fun together, cooking, traveling, entertaining, etc. I don’t know if he actually met with anyone…but I’m not stupid either. I feel like it was cheating. I just wonder if I should pursue finding out what he wanted and needed in order to do my part to make it work. I do believe he genuinely loved me…and I him. I’m struggling with whether or not it is salvagable. But today, I’m back to thinking I’m not in the mood! It’s just so hard to deal with “everything’s fine” to nothing.

        • admin
          July 28, 2014 | 1:51 pm

          I think you need to ask yourself if HE is the best person for you in the future. Take yourself out of the moment for a second and ask yourself,

          “In 5 years can I still be happy with this person?”

  2. N.M
    July 24, 2014 | 4:27 pm

    Ok so im a cheater, im cheating my husband, but really im not! Please we are living parallel lives! I would leave him if my bf, we had aprivate wedding ceremmony back the, would take me away! Oh God this sounds so sleazy!

    • admin
      July 25, 2014 | 3:10 pm

      How does it benefit you to stay with your husband if he has done all those horrible things to you?

      • N.M
        July 25, 2014 | 4:52 pm

        My bf is Not going to take me away! He has abused me too, he cheated yet accuses me of cheating, is like a chameleon, offence is the best defense, whenever i tried to get an apology from him, i ended up apologising for Daring to adk, so that he wouldnt leave me! But it will never work outill stay with my husband and pretend its my bf! Im mad!

        • admin
          July 28, 2014 | 1:57 pm

          I don’t get why you would want someone like that back?

  3. N.M
    July 24, 2014 | 4:24 pm

    Hes 28 now im 56!

  4. N.M
    July 24, 2014 | 4:23 pm

    Dysfunctional! He was 19 fell in love with me, i was x47 ! We aee still togerher if u can call it that! He cheated after being with me 4 years, claiming i cheated on him, all it was , was telephone calls to his (male) friend , asking for advice on how to deal with my bf’s temper tantrums! I stopped contact cos this friend, also in age group of my bf, first hit on me for a ‘loan’ then claimed he had fallen in love with me, all over the phone! I stopped contact, diidnt tell my bf, but did 3 yrs later! Was it cheating? I dont know! To my bf it was, claims ir was reason he cheated on me! Im married, no kids, husband impotent, gone thru my share domestic violence!
    I forgave my bf before he even asked for forgiveness, he hasnt had even a first job at 28, hv loaned him Lots of money he lost while share trading! I know, i know! Just came to know recently he cheated again, right after that first episode, but just dating, chatting, no sex! Help! Just help! He was supposed to ‘take me away’!

    • admin
      July 25, 2014 | 3:09 pm

      Your not still with the husband that abused you are you?

      • N.M
        July 25, 2014 | 4:28 pm

        Indian arranged marriage went abroad after marriage he fell seriously ill 1st yr of marriage resulting in complete infertility if i had left him wd be i did cause of that, turns out he never told His family no kids due Him! Being barren big thing in India
        Started workng after 6 yrs of staying home,( work permit issues) built a parallel life worked 13 yrs till lost job! Things improved i regained some self confidence! Verbal abuse again since i dont work anymore! Am no good!
        Meanwhile husband posted back to India as expat
        Social pressure’people ask why you dont stay with me’!
        Came bk to India 10 yrs ago , housewife snce then!still with him, no physical viloence since very long, but no physical contact either since 20 yrs
        Was waiting husband to retire he wd shift back to foreign country, my bf wd ‘take me away’
        While former has happened i have decided to stay on here, husband one month here one month there! Truce, silence, we dont talk
        , i just cook take care of house, meet with this family , no desires, lost the will to live!

        Abuse is relative! Where would i go in a foreign country? It was bearable, i lived double life, one at homeone at work
        When i met my bfi fell in love
        First person accepted me as i am, not chauvinistic like my husband
        Now bf yes, no, dont know? Will be like this till i die
        Thats how it is in our country
        No pressing reason to divorce, no communicatuion, nothing!

        • N.M
          July 25, 2014 | 4:58 pm

          Hv no friends lost all when shifted abroad no one to talk to!

        • admin
          July 28, 2014 | 1:53 pm

          Wait, your husband isn’t fertile?

  5. Rina
    July 18, 2014 | 6:31 pm

    Hai Chris….
    so… remember when I told you I cheated on my ex 4 times with this guy named Dan? well, I just found out from a mutual friend of ours that my ex was cheating on me during our whole relationship (even before I cheated on him). Daron, my ex, always insisted that he’s never cheated on me, and I want to believe him but after I saw this that you wrote:
    *Narcissistic (Selfish and only thinks of himself.)
    *Chronic Liars (Everyone lies but if someone does it over and over you may have to take a step back and decide if this is someone worth being with.)
    *Someone who gets jealous very easily (If he is constantly accusing you of inappropriate behavior.)
    *Constantly flirts with other girls (Every guy will flirt everynow and then but if it is common behavior for him then be careful.)
    This describes him perfectly (although he didn’t start any of this behavior until I cheated on him)…. :/ I just don’t know who to believe. I’m starting to think maybe Daron isn’t a good match for me after all… but I am now extending the 30 days to 45 days… or maybe I really will go with the 90 days NC since it usually takes me 3- 6 months to get over someone (even if I was only with that person for 3 months :/)

    • admin
      July 21, 2014 | 3:12 pm

      I think he isn’t at all.

      (I am not a fan of cheaters one bit.)

      • Rina
        July 21, 2014 | 11:54 pm

        yeah… probably not a fan of me either then? ^_^’ I’m not really a fan of myself either at the moment because I feel severe guilt for what I did >.< I'm trying to work through it though so I can move on from Daron :)

        • admin
          July 22, 2014 | 2:36 pm

          No offense but you are right.

          Cheating makes me uncomfortable personally but I will tell you one thing.

          I am glad you are feeling guilt for what you did. That means you know it was wrong and your ex keeping a secret means he didn’t care enough about you to give you the truth (until after the fact.)

          • Rina
            July 22, 2014 | 3:25 pm

            Thank you for always being honest with me and never sugar coating things. :) I really appreciate it Chris.

            • admin
              July 24, 2014 | 1:59 pm

              You are more than welcome.

  6. vincy
    June 20, 2014 | 6:26 pm

    me and my bf broke up for some time and the reason for breaking up is he is in love with another, seems much stronger than the love we had, we have been together six years and I really want him back..he cheated on me and is in love with another, do I still have chance?

    • admin
      June 21, 2014 | 7:37 pm

      He cheated on you… Tell me, whats your reasoning for wanting him back?

      • vincy
        June 23, 2014 | 7:34 am

        the reasons I want him back is that we are actually very suitable for each other..we have a lot of common interests and being with him is very comfortable, very happy, we can talk nonstop even we had had a six years relationship..I want him back because I love being with him.. I didn’t even mad at him even he cheated on me…

        • vincy
          June 23, 2014 | 8:20 am

          I have seen a lot of getting back your ex website but it seems none has included my situation

  7. Belle
    June 9, 2014 | 7:56 am

    I find your page very interesting. Me and my 6 years bf broke up 2 days ago. He is 27 and so am I, we are planning to have a baby this year. We have a very beautiful relationship with some downs but we struggle and work things out. For the past 2 years, we had a very sweet relationship, everything is in place. Until last week, I found out that hes bee lying behind my back. My work is 8am-6pm and hes working 4pm-1am. Obviously, theres no time for us to see each other everyday. We can only see each other and spend quality time together every Saturday. Everytime he ends his job, he always txt me goodnight and always letting me know hes home already. Until I found out that hes not going home straight and eve not going home to their house for a couple of days. I was so mad, my friend even saw her with another girl eating outside around 2 am. I was so mad at him, I did not talk to him for a couple of days. He says sorry and beg for forgiveness. I even get to a point where I stalk him in his work place to see he has a girl, and as soon as I saw “them” walking towards his car, I confronted him. I asked him why. He said he just fell out of love since the time that I started working and no time to see each other, he even told me to just break it off with me because he dont want to hurt me anymore. He said that i deserve someone better. BTW, the girl is just his office mate and wanted to ride in his car WITH A GROUP. And I know my bf’s taste, the girl that I saw is impossible for my bf to like. He cried when I left him that night.

    2 nights after, I went out together with my friends (night out). Unfortunately, we saw each other there. He thought I have a company guy so what he did is dance with another girl. I saw it. I was so drunk and so mad. I slapped her. And I even invited him outside to talk, but I beat him up (slap, kick, pull his shirt). And unfortunately his eyes hit the gutter and theres a blood already. We brought him to the hospital (together with my siblings), and the doctors need to stitch his eyelid. My ex’s mom is a doctor so we called her right away to check on him. My ex’s told his mom that he fell of a cab and hit the gutter. His mom cried as soon as he sees his son.

    A day after that, my ex went to our house to show me all the things that Ive done. He told me he hated me so much and he regret the 6 year we had together. He said bad things like “fuck you, cursed me that I hope I suffer, he even told me that its my fault his mom cried. I take full responsibility of my action. I told him that Im very sorry and even begged for forgiveness. I told him that Im not going to do that without any reason. Im just so mad of what he did, but I know what I did t\during that time was too much. I was drunk and so mad thats why I did not control my emotion.

    Now he said that he will tell his whole family what really happened and will take legal action towards me. I know that he cant just badmouth me to his family. Last time I even kneel down and begged fr forgiveness, he said that sorry right now is nothing to him,. He said that everytime he feels the pain and he face the mirror hes hatred towards me grow and the love diminish. He told me to go to his family and confront them on what really happened and take full responsibility of my action if Im really sorry which Im willing to do, supposed to be Ill go there tomorrow to confront them but he did not let me.

    Do you think we still have chance of being together again? He said he still loves me but every time he feels the pain, the hatred grew. What can i do to bring him back? My conscience is killing me because of what I did. Help me!! What can I do to get him back.


    • admin
      June 9, 2014 | 3:26 pm

      Wait, are you actually pregnant or were you just trying to have a baby?

      • Belle
        June 10, 2014 | 12:11 am

        Just planning to have a baby, not yet pregnant.

        • admin
          June 10, 2014 | 3:47 pm

          Gotcha, so it was a pretty intense relationship.

          Do you have any idea for why he cheated on you?

          • Belle
            June 13, 2014 | 6:29 am

            Hi. I dont have any idea why he cheated on me. He started being different when he started working as a korean tutor, 98% of his co-teacher are female. Im thinking that maybe, its one his co-worker. I dont have enough proof but I can feel it. I asked him many times, but he said he dont have any. He meets a lot of girls, talk to them but thats it.

            I want to work things out, but Im sure his mother hates me soooooo much, as well as his whole family. What should I do?

      • Belle
        June 10, 2014 | 12:13 am

        Hi Kevin,

        Just to update you, Saturday morning (6:30am) as I checked my phone, I received 12 missed calls from my ex boyfriend, he was calling me around 5:30 in the morning, but I put my phone on silent thats why I did not hear him calling. Anyways, I tried calling him twice as well because Im thinking it might be emergency thats why hes calling me, he did not answer. After 4 hours, he called, asking if Im calling him, I told him he is the one calling and Im just calling back. he said to just dont mind it and he is just drunk. I said ok. When I checked my other phone,he sent a wrong message, ” I was looking for you, as usual you left me if you have somebody”, obviously he is with another girl last night. So I replied, I told him to resend the number to the right person and probably its impt for her to know that you are looking for her yesterday. He said that its just a friend, who was introduced my his male friend. He said that he’s been seeing the girl for a couple of days already when the incident happened. She left him yesterday because all through out that night, hes drunk and been talking about me. Anyways, for this moment, I dont give a d*mn anymore.

        He keeps on texting me how fu*king coward I am for not confronting his family. I actually texted her sister already and plans to meet up yesterday afternoon. Because of his non stop texting telling me how coward I am, I texted her mom asking if I could meet her since I want to say something very important, and she told me to just text the details whatever it is because she is very busy. So I told her everything and apologized wholeheartedly. She said that she doesnt have anything against me and he knows that hes son is also drunk, in short, shes not mad at me or anything, she told me that we time will heal for both of us. I also texted her sister that I cant meet her up anymore and just told her the whole story, just like their mom, she also said she understand what I did,.

        When my ex find out that i already told his family, he was shock and maybe not expecting that I can really do it. We talked a little bit, and he told me that Im still in his heart, and if he can call anytime he wants. I feel like everything shuttered. I cant face his family anymore, I cant talk to them anymore because they know what kind of person I am.

        Kevin, do you think it is still okay to be with him after his family finds out? Just in case we still try to fix everything will it affect us and our family big time? Or it is better to just give up and leave?

        Thank you.

        • admin
          June 10, 2014 | 3:47 pm

          Who the heck is Kevin?

  8. Seema
    June 8, 2014 | 3:30 am

    Okay I am going to try posting my comment again:

    Hey Chris! How are you? Before I discuss my weird situation with you and get your thoughts on it, I want to know if there’s a possibility you will be writing a guide on what and how a woman, who was a rebound for her ex, can do to get her ex back or influence by making her ex regret letting her go?

    Here’s my situation:
    My ex and I were in a LDR and we broke up 3 months ago. Few days before the break up, he was all affectionate like usual but there came an out of the blue break up. I knew there was something amiss few days before the break up (like cheating) but he denied it. He cut all contact with me suddenly (on Skype, FB, etc.)and I never got closure. I did no contact after the break up and didn’t even contact him when my mutual friend asked why he was with his ex (she’s in a different country too btw) after few weeks into my break up. Until few weeks ago I was in no contact, but I texted him about a memory of us (the one he mentioned often during our relationship). Never got a response and I miss him because he was planning to marry me this summer. What I don’t understand is why he cut off all contact with me right away but never cut off contact with his ex who he is with now when he was the one who broke up with her and was speaking to me during the time he was with her–which I had no clue about until one day he mentioned something that I picked up on!! I miss him and just want to know why he was so cold after the break up with me. Thoughts?

    Keep writing great guides!

    • admin
      June 8, 2014 | 8:19 pm

      What tipped you off on that he was cheating?

      • Seema
        June 8, 2014 | 10:44 pm

        4 days before the break up, there were references made about things he wanted to do (that he had done with the ex in the past) and reminiscing about moments he shared with her which he had forgotten he told me about in the first few weeks of the relationship. He also made some slips while talking to me and made a guilty face when I asked him point blank if there’s someone else–(my gut feeling). I never had gotten this nagging feeling until those last days. I still haven’t received a response to my text.

        • Seema
          June 8, 2014 | 11:16 pm

          Oh! I forgot to mention that he knows I can’t stand cheaters and people who are passive aggressive. I am the straight shooter type.

        • admin
          June 9, 2014 | 3:08 pm

          Soo, he has avoided the question altogether.

          • Seema
            June 9, 2014 | 4:09 pm

            He said “No” when asked at that time but the mutual friend (the one who didn’t know we had broken up who provided me the closure indirectly asking me as to what he was doing with his previous ex in another country when we were supposed to be getting marry in end of July)…So my gut feeling was right that he left me to be with her and possibly they were in touch with each other while he was with me.
            Why be so cold and cut me off when I didn’t even go “text gnating or call gnating” on him?

            I just wanted your point of view about this. I know you are not a cheater…and thank God for that! There’s hope!

            • Seema
              June 9, 2014 | 4:15 pm

              I so want or need a guide where the rebound woman can get some tips to be the “ungettable woman” in the future (the other side of the coin)!

              Sorry! I meant to say : “…while asking me as to what he was doing with his previous ex in another country when we were supposed to be getting married at the end of July”

              • admin
                June 10, 2014 | 3:35 pm

                What do you mean where the rebound woman can become the UG?

                • Seema
                  June 10, 2014 | 6:45 pm

                  Hi Chris. I meant to say, how can someone save a “rebound relationship”. In this scenario, the girl is the rebound.

                  • admin
                    June 11, 2014 | 4:35 pm

                    Thats a good question…

                    I might have to think about that for a moment.

                    • Seema
                      June 13, 2014 | 2:58 am

                      Hey Chris:

                      Did you come up with a solution or some ideas about how to make a rebound relationship last?

  9. Maria
    May 21, 2014 | 7:36 pm

    Hi. Me and my ex have know each other since we were 18 and we recently broke up. Everything was good until I got pregnant and I had to make a decison. We offically got together in September of last year and we moved out december of last year. I found out I was pregnant on valentines day of this year. After I had the abortion he said that he feel outta love with me. We had to move in with a friend cause we couldn’t afford to get a new place yet. During that month he started hanging out more, coming home late and not having sex with me that often. So he said that we needed or should take a break, but we weren’t broken up at that point. Then a couple days later I told him that I have a boyfriend but I single and then he suggested that we should break up. The whole point of taking a break was to get ourselves where we need to be indivdually but he still said he wants to work on us. But come to find out when I went to go and get my things and I left a girl from the apartment downstairs was calling him baby and was all hugged up on him. He’s my first love and even though he cheated I want him back. What should I do?

    • admin
      May 22, 2014 | 3:55 pm

      How old are you now?

  10. Vickie
    May 15, 2014 | 7:24 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago as he cheated on me with this Christian girl. They are now officially together.

    I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We have been living together in the dorm since the first day of our relationship. And even we broke up, we are still living together till now. We still sleep together and sometimes had sex (but yea, he is with that girl). I know I still love him much while some part of me just didn’t want that girl to have his loyalty.

    We have experience several emotional breakdowns together when we had those overnight talks on our relationship after we broke up. We were like two twisted souls entwined in our lives. He has acknowledged that I am indispensable in his life and he needed me as a friend at least. He was willing to make me happy and could not imagine me to sleep with another guy. He has even promised me not to sleep with his new girlfriend overnight or have sex with her. He said he will be here until I don’t need him anymore. I don’t know why he is still willing to make promises to me…

    Recently, I have been trying to date some guys to spend my time and make his jealous, but I didn’t go on any date in the end. However,he was quite worried and he actually checked out the bar the I was supposed to go with my date coz he was afraid I’ll be drugged and raped. And he could not get a good sleep as he had dreams seeing me raped by men when I went drinking with friends. He admitted some part of him can’t let me go because I am so important in his life.

    We are going travel in July-Aug, which was booked long time ago and he said he wanted to travel with me even we have broken up. I just didn’t want to miss this chance to get back, or at least travel, with him. (We don’t have money to change to air tickets anyways, we are students)

    Should I still ignore him for 45 days before we go travel? I regret reading your blog so late or else I can have the NC period right after we break up.

    • admin
      May 15, 2014 | 2:22 pm

      Thats not very christian of him…

      Tell me, what is your reasoning for wanting him back?

  11. Hazel
    April 20, 2014 | 9:02 am

    Hi, Chris.

    My ex-boyfriend and i were dating for 7 years. Our relationship was great and full of happiness along years. We rarely argue. We loved each other and planed to get marry next year.
    However, 2 months before our break up, he joined a band and our relationship was getting worse. He was enthusiastically to join every meeting or practice of the band. After that, he started to comment on me that i acting cold to him with less response and always being late when we have a date. When i heard of these comments, i was fear as he never comment bad on me before. I started to change those bad habits, but the result was not significant yet.
    Later on, as mentioned, he broke up with me. Saying that he felt i was cold to him when we were texting or having a date (i had self-reflection after the break up that i should have did better on this, though it is my personality). Also, he mentioned that he no longer feel as happy as being with me before. So, he decided to break up.
    I could not bear with it and I tried to get him back by all the wrong ways (just realized it after visiting your webpage :’( ) for month and a half: texting a lot, calling few times, sending him a LONG letter… he replied me he wants to be alone with the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” excuse then ignored all my later messages.
    There was no ways for me to understand his sudden change, so i did something really bad that i checked his email. I found out that he is now in a relationship with a girl from the band, and they started to date just 10 days after our break up.
    I did not know whether it is a rebound relationship (hopefully it is!), they are happily together for almost 2 months already. They had not make their relationship public yet I guess.
    My last message sent to him was on April, 4. Should I break the no contact after 30 days since that day or should wait until he is the one who find me first? What if he has no response to my no contact after 60 days or something, should i keep on no contact? There is also something I have to return him, is it a good reason to initiate our contact again?
    I really want him back, i DO believe we can work on our relationship better and have a great future if we have good communication.

    btw, this webpage did bring me hope and confidence in getting him back ;) THANK YOU!

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 9:13 pm

      I think 60 days might be pretty long.

  12. Britt
    April 20, 2014 | 5:41 am

    How about this for an article? How to get over your cheating ex when you know he’s happy with your ex best friend.

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 8:59 pm

      Well, I think in that case its best to cut ties with both of them.

  13. Cyndi
    April 18, 2014 | 4:01 am

    Hi I had a boyfriend before. But I worked overseas before for two years were more than one year before I leave. Then when im back where still ok but after 8 months I worked overseas again. Then I came back in my country after 6 months the first time we meet were ok. The second time we meet were still ok and when the third time we meet were still ok but in the evening he called me and he told me he dont want me anymore. He said that he cannot return the love i give. I said its ok. I know hes busy i understand. But he insist that he want to end our relationship but i said no i dont want but still he wants. Then the next day i tried to call him and text him and beg him to come back. I told him that im going to their house so that we can talk about us. About what happened. But he told me that i dont have to do that because its useless. He said he love someone new and he dont love me anymore. But even though he told me that i still dont believe. Because i really want him back. What can i do? Im so stress.

    • admin
      April 18, 2014 | 3:40 pm

      Did he cheat on you though? You posted in the cheating section.

  14. EMC
    April 12, 2014 | 11:47 am

    Hi, Chris
    Should I forgive my LDR boyfriend for cheating on me?
    He doesnt know I saw the pics of him and her yet ( his coworker oversea ) after I took 16 hours flight to be with him.
    The last day we were together, he felt so guilty, crying, and kept saying ” I am sorry..I can be better”… but didnt confess and I didnt confront him even I knew.
    It’s been a month since I got back. I am still firguring out what to do… Thinking of emailing him that I knew and I should leave him. But I still love him and want to be with him…

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 4:37 pm

      Thats up to you.

      Do you think this was a one time thing?

      • EMC
        April 13, 2014 | 11:11 am

        No. He’s gonna see her at some point in the future for work for sure. Just would that be a rebound? Read the article of The Complete Guide To Understand Your Boyfriend, my situation just ticked the boxes of reason2 (that’s pretty much my story) and reason 3 in the cheater part.
        If I break up with him, and implement No Contact rule, can I get him bak? He’s saying he wants to come visit me…

  15. Emily
    April 11, 2014 | 4:30 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago to my utter surprise, I knew we had problems, but I didn’t realize this bad. He was unhappy with our communication and my weight and our sex life becuase of the weight; because I kept saying I would change it, but I actually gained weight instead. He says that made him loose trust in my promises especially with the communication because he felt he tried harder to fix our problems then I did. I know he’s right on some levels, but there was a lot else going on too. I lost my job 4 mths into our lease, my friend moved into help with her 3 young kids into our 2 bdroom apt! That was so difficult and looking back, really stupid. It took me months to find another good job, which in the meantime both of them were begging me to just find any old job, which was hard bc I was the one who made all the money before and supported them. To say the least it has been stressful. I don’t know if it’s all over because we just “don’t work” as he says, or because maybe we just ran our of patience and time and grew apart with life and with each other. When we started dating, we were best friends and in college together, but I graduated 2 years ago and he’s still going and kept changing majors… I always felt we were off track because of that. Then add an awkward roommate situation we took on to pay bills… he says it just sped up what would have happen, but I feel different. Hes very logical and looks at things with little emotion when making hard decisions, and now he’s “shut his emotions off” because so busy with school and work and moving out (still in process of that, so living together still).. and i’m going crazy with them all the time!!! And we both would like to at least be friends because we were before.. but also for me because I think this feels wrong to quit after 4 years.
    I have done a lot of talking to him to the point that he says he can’t handle the emotional stuff anymore, that he if I even bring up the past, he goes quiet. I can’t help it, he was my rock, my confidant, idk what to do!
    I know I’ve talked too much to him and any space I give him now, he will gladly take. Lately he has been trying to be there for me, which has been sweet, but only as friends and because he says it harder for me because i wasn’t prepared as him.. he had been debating for weeks when to talk to me! It feels like he just turned it off while i still wait for my kisses. I just want to know he still cares, which he says he still loves me and cares, but he has to move on. I just want to know he thinks abt all the things we are losing and will miss and i want him to realize they are still worth fighting for.
    I did find out he cheated 6 mnths ago, but not until a week ago (broken up almost month now).. and he never told me bc he regretted it so much, he was just unhappy with our sex life (again i’m overweight and mind.. he is not, he loves working out) and didn’t want to hurt me after he thought abt what he had done. He never did it again. I don’t know if i can forgive him yet, but at this point its not like i can punish him.. and all i see is that i wish i knew then bc i just didn’t realize how bad it all was from his perspective. I thought we had time to work on us still since life had gotten so crazy. I would like at least the chance to work it out, but its so complicated.. i just know I still love him…
    He won’t ask my forgiveness for cheating bc he says he doesn’t deserve it. And I just still love him.. i cant shake that.
    Also how do you do it when we still have some bills and accounts together and will take months to end? Is it too late? Have I done too much damage to make this program work like the NC rule? I think we have something real and there is a lot going on, but I want to try! I really do. I want the chance to get him back.. He says he has a small hope things could go that way, but right now he doesn’t see it, but I do. I really do. Is it Too LATE???

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