The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Brie

November 25, 2015 at 7:31 pm

Anyone have success stories to share? I’m starting no contact after making many of these mistakes the past 2 weeks. Hopefully I caught this early enough to fix it and win him back.
Jen

November 24, 2015 at 3:15 am

Hey Chris,

My boyfriend and I have been broken up since October 19. I immediately cut off all contact the next day. For the next couple of days after that, he messaged me saying that he’s sorry for everything that he did that made me cry, wished me a happy life, and hoped that I wasn’t mad at him. I did not reply to this. A week later, he messaged me again. He said that he regret breaking up with me and he had been miserable without me. He said that he’s not comfortable with the fact that I was mad at him. He also asked why I unfriended him Facebook. I replied to him, I sad that I’m not mad anymore and I’ve accepted the breakup and the reason why I cut him off all my social media is because I needed space from him. For the next couple of days, he still messaged me and we would talk briefly. It was me who would always end the conversation. The last conversation we had was 2 weeks ago. He said that something made him remember me and I asked him what he needed from me. He said he missed me and asked if I don’t want to talk to him anymore. I said how can we move on if we still talk to each other? It was obvious that he was not happy with that reply. The conversation ended with him saying that he’s sorry he broke my heart. He hasn’t contacted me ever since and I hadn’t either. I’m still hoping that he would, though.

Do you think he would he still contact me? We haven’t been in contact for 15 days now. I think I pushed him away with the way I replied to his messages. We were together for a year and 6 months. We broke up because I was always jealous of his close female friend and I would always stress him out about it. Please help.

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 6:02 am

I don’t blame you for being jealous. If you were married to him/had a family with him I wouldn’t think having close girl friends would be appropriate. With that being said do you want to end up with him? Would you be ok with him having girl friends if you were married?

Do another 6 days of no contact then you can reach out to him. Send him a text that will make him laugh.

Marissa Lauren

November 23, 2015 at 7:40 am

Hi!
I made the mistake of keeping in contact with him for 2 weeks after we broke up (he would reply pretty nicely) and then finally realized to do the no contact. He mentioned that he still wanted to be best friends and that he wasn’t going to go away forever. I was dumped because he was no longer attracted to me in that way.

After I got dumped I was in a situation where we would be in the same place every 4 days or so for the past month, and we have many mutual friends, so we would have to see each other and say maybe one thing (all positive). I would find him looking at me a lot, probably curious about how I was doing. However, he never once tried to reach out or contact me in any way during that one month of no contact. Is this a bad sign?

I just finished the no contact 1 week ago and texted him for the first time in a month. We went back and forth 3 times, (first response was positive, second one not so much.) I had made the mistake of bringing up something sad (the swim season ending,) but he replied to that with a sad text, so next I replied with something more upbeat to keep it happy. But then, he didn’t reply. I really don’t want to lose him. I don’t have anymore opportunities to see him again in the near future, unless we meet up.
How can I get him back and what do I do now? Do I wait a bit until I text him again and how long? If the last text was a week ago, when can I text him again? Do I have to go back to NC? Any help at all would be appreciated so much. x
cloe

November 22, 2015 at 5:29 am

Am Karen Lola from Scotland. I was having serious relationship problems with my boyfriend and it had resulted in him moving out to his friend’s apartment. Everything got worse because he started going to bars and strip clubs frequently with his friend, getting drunk and passing out. He always threatens me on phone whenever I call him because of all the bad advises that his friend has given him. I really love him and we had been dating for 8 years which gave us a beautiful daughter. I had also lost a lot of money on therapists until I was introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend whom he helped to marry her childhood boyfriend; this gave me total confidence and strength to get him back. I did all he asked and after 48 hours my boyfriend called me and rushed back home, things just changed between us emotionally. He has a job and stopped drinking and keeping irrelevant friends. It’s a miracle I never believed was possible because I had lost all hope until I found Dr Ozama So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. ozaspelltempl (@) gmail (.) com
Sophie

November 20, 2015 at 7:20 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago. I did the NC and unfortunately when I contacted him I offered to “be friends” and he responded very positively. Within a few minutes he started texting a lot..it doesn’t take me effort to start a conversation. He often starts every conversation and it almost feels like he reached out to me and not the other way around. He flirts sometimes and talks about memories but also makes hints about how he’s still sure about the breakup. He hinted a lot that he wants to hang out but he didn’t ask me out directly. It’s been around 10 days So I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m just letting him feel comfortable and I hate that I friend zoned myself after a whole month of NC!

Just FYI, we broke up before and I also got in touch after NC and got the same positive response from him. But he didn’t ask for me back for real until I told him I don’t want to keep acting like we never broke up but not be in an official relationship then left and did NC again. But this time I don’t know what to do..i doubt the same thing will work. It’s just that most of the rules don’t apply to him..hes doing most of the effort to talk to me but then again he says he’s sure about not being with me.. I’m confused
Jade

November 20, 2015 at 4:22 am

Hi Chris,
So my boyfriend broke up with me after over a year of dating he said that he cares about me but he just fell out of love with me, we had gone through quite a bit together and about a few months ago i started suffering from severe depression and i know it was very hard on him to be there for me and love me enough for the two of us. I was also taking my stress out on him and arguing with him alot and wanting to see him more. I should probably preface this by saying that he is working full time AND going to college so he has his own stress. He told me when he broke up with me that he and i want different things in life and when i asked him to explain he said he prefers an “I” kind of life, while im happier with a “we” kind of life. Hindsight being 20/20 and my mind being clear after receiving proper treatment, i know exactly what i did wrong and where i can change to improve myself as a person (not for him). But i do not believe he told me the truth because i saw him recently when he came to get his things, and he was wearing a sweatshirt i gave him and i know for a fact he still has a painting i did for him hanging on his wall. I’d like to take those little things as signs of hope though im not sure if im right. i think he probably became too stressed with work/school/us that he felt if he got rid of our relationship he would be less stressed and his life would improve a bit (again im not sure), but i know from a mutual friend of ours that his home life has gotten worse since we split. Now I’m not very far into my NC period but there is a bit of a problem, we share a few friends and we are part of an online community where some of our friends are. He and I are online most nights, now I don’t talk to him but my question is do i stop going onto that community and stop talking to my friends during NC? I recently moved to an area where i don’t have many friends yet and i have a lot going on in my life that makes it necessary that I have people I can talk to and a good support system. I really dont know what to do and even if you cant give me any answers i guess a little validation that i have hope would be very helpful because more than anything I want him to be happy and even though we fought alot I know he was happier with me than he is now, but will never admit that he is just too stubborn.
Cindy

November 18, 2015 at 5:21 pm

Hi, Chris

My boyfriend and I were dating seriously with the goal of marriage since this May. We’ve come to know our differences and he’s just not a great communicator so we would get into a lot of arguments, but not full fledged fights or anything. Around mid-October I felt that I could do better than this relationship because I felt my needs weren’t being satisfied, and so I called it off. As soon as I did, I began to regret everything I said to him and asked for him back the next day, explaining I was just being too emotional. This was before I left for Thailand for 2 weeks and of course him being hurt he said he couldn’t get back with me. We decided to think things through for the 2 weeks I was gone and on the day I came back I came back home to a text from him that he’s thought of it every single day but he just cant. He feels that he’ll never satisfy me. I begged him to think about it again for a whole day explaining what I have done wrong in the relationship (not respecting him, making him feel inadequate, being selfish and only thinking of myself) but he couldn’t get over the fact that I told him that I thought he was selfish and calculative in the way he loves. It got to a point where he was just getting so frustrated I wasn’t getting it he just said things like “I want to meet new people and have fun” “I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now, I don’t think I’m ready” “Even if it’s you I just don’t want to be in a relationship” and I knew there was nothing more I could do.

So I said I understand and apologized for a lot of things that was on my heart and also said in the long future, if and if i ever cross his mind and he thinks about me and wants to be with me again, that I will be waiting because I love him.

^Was that a foolish thing to do before the NC Period? As in it makes me look too available? I only said that because I wanted to keep things a open road between us. What could I do to fix it?? I’m going crazy..please help, Chris.
Sara

November 18, 2015 at 1:14 pm

Hi Chris,

So I have been reading your page for a while now and i should say it has helped me a lot hey. Thing is i broke up with my bf of 2 years in August due to my insecurities and his never ending shenanigans. I can’t remember who said what but i basically walked away just to clear my head and all that so when i went back to him we had a fight again about me walking away every time something happens so he kind of said i should decide whether i want to stay or leave because he cannot keep up anymore so i said i will leave but regretted the decision in the morning. I tried to talk to him but he would not hear any of it so i moved to a different city for a month, during that time i stayed in contacting with him and eventually went back to his place. I tried to sort things out but now he said “he is not ready for a relationship” :(. This was a hard pill to swallow mostly because i did not even understand what he meant so I did a lot of research but none of it made sense to me. I moved to another city , tried the NC but failed as he contacted me first and we started flirting and he kind of always reminded me of the good old times then he would tell me he had sex with someone else but she wasn’t as good as i was. Got so angry, cut all contact with him again and what does he do? contact me and tells me i am not being fair, he might not want to be in a relationship right now but he wants to be my friend blah blah blah, i kind of fell for that, we become friends again and made arrangements to visit each other. So i had a break from work and went to see him, to my surprise he is having a thing with another girl or girls, not sure, he has always been a ladies man and i am kind of crushed, super hurt. I mean who does that? I asked him if he is seeing this girl and he said, “not necessarily” :(. I am super frustrated and heartbroken, he was my best friend we did everything together. So i am doing the 30 days NC but i don’t know if there is any chance of us getting back together seeing that he is also not ready for a relationship. I am super confused. what can you make of this Chris? Thanks in advance.
Lizzie

November 17, 2015 at 8:47 pm

I work with my ex, so I had to reply to his text message. But he is a real dick. He asked a women out right in front of me, the day after we stopped talking. Then made an excuse to stay around me for an hour after she left. He hasn’t contacted me unless it’s work related.
M

November 17, 2015 at 5:13 am

I finished the NC period and I sent my ex a first contact message, which he responded to positively, asking about a concert I went to and how I was doing. However, I made the mistake of writing back to him the next day and sharing some news about myself along with asking how he was. He just replied with a neutral “I’ve been good,” not even bothering to continue our conversation. What should I do now? Do I still have hope for getting him back? My story is much longer and more confusing than it sounds on the surface.
Julie

November 14, 2015 at 9:48 pm

About a week ago, my boyfriend and I went out for drinks. I overdid it bigtime… got as far as me blacking out. What I do remember is nagging my boyfriend over some small stuff I never would have brought up otherwise, him getting angry, driving us back to his place, and telling me it was over.
I acted crazy and irrational, pounding on his door, crying, begging him to let me in so we could talk… and when I was just about to leave, the cops showed up. No charges were pressed or anything… and I’m not sure if he was the one to even call them.
Obviously he isn’t talking to me. I have texted a couple apologies… nothing. We have some mutual friends I saw last night… and she showed me a message he had sent to her telling her I’m nuts… but the thing is, I have never acted this way before. So he’s basing that on the on incident that I completely regret.
I can’t imagine being able to come back from this. I haven’t contacted him in two days… but do guys ever really let go of “crazy”? Our relationship was good otherwise… but I keep thinking if it was as good as I thought, he wouldn’t have went straight to the breakup. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened, and if never drinking again is what it takes to get him back, I’ll do it.
I’m just not sure this is something he can let go of. We’ve had problems in the past, but he’s never closed me out completely. Not like this.
Maria

November 14, 2015 at 2:06 pm

Hi Chris,
I broke up with the father of my 14 month old baby after three years. We broke up 5 months ago and he moved out. His reason for leaving was because in his own words he always felt I loved my other son’s father more than I will ever love him. I talked with my other ex (father of my older child) inappropriately in a sexual way only once but I had no intentions of pursuing them. I was only jealous because I found out he had a new gf and at that time, my relationship with the father of my baby was really rocky and I was feeling neglected. We used to have a lot of fights during the entire three years. The fights circulated around alcohol, coz he drinks a lot, every week – three bottles of wine and almost a whole case of beer in one seating and he would drink on his own. The other issue was that he has always been insecure and suffers from anxiety and was always insecure about my ex. I admit, what I did didn’t help with his insecurities because I would used my ex a lot of the times during our fights and would say things like my ex would never get me this angry, I still love my ex, he is better in every way than you are – it was the only way I knew I could hurt him. He has hurt me a lot in many different ways like putting me down because he thought he was too smart for me, or he did not let me watch the shows I enjoyed because he thought it was ‘low brow’. He also said nasty things about me in front of family and friends when he was intoxicated on more than one occasion. I felt he was not meeting my emotional need in the end. But regardless of the craziness we loved each other deeply. But we did not know how to communicate to one another. He now has a new gf, he’s been with for 4 months and I am shattered. They were only 2 months into the relationship, his best friend died and he had to go back to England for the funeral and he took her with her. I was with him for three years and I still have not been there. He told my sister that he is married but now the story changed from that to engaged. I have stalked them in fb (I know it’s bad), she has their profile picture together. He did have the same profile picture but has now deactivated his fb. I love him so much, so deeply and I made mistakes that I pushed him away. Do you think I have anymore chance, if he really is engaged? Two weeks ago they broke up, he messaged me drunk, asking if I thought we could ever be together again, and said he still had feelings for me.. But then he got back with her and later told me he only said those things because he just wants to see his son. I talked to him in person only three days ago. I turned up at his place with my baby unannounced and his gf was there. I asked him if we could talk, and we did. We went to a park and talked… I begged him to come back. I told him that things will change and be different. I told him I know he loves me too, he did not deny it. He said he is very unhappy atm and if it wasn’t for our son he would go back to England or move to Darwin. He said he would think about it and suggested we would go out the next day to a restaurant for lunch with the kids and will talk about everything then. (his gf was at his house waiting). That day I got home from picking up my son and found an email from him saying he never will come back to me and only wants to see his son, then I replied and he said it was his gf who wrote it. In the end he ended up cancelling on me saying he would only agree to meet if he could bring his gf. She knows everything now, because she has read my whatsapp correspondence with my ex and she ws reading all my emails and what he was writing back to me. I have also contacted her in fb out of spite and told her she will never meet my baby….. I am afraid I have already done too much damage… They are now both against me and I may have brought them closer together….. 🙁 🙁
alex

November 13, 2015 at 6:42 am

Hi Chris I have read your page and your book. I broke up with my bf about 4 months ago. I went into NC for 3 months and re-established contact with him. I followed what you said in the book and it was fine in the beginning, and we were joking and flirting around a bit. However, a while ago I said a nice movie reminded me of him, and he said “what it takes a movie for you to think of me?”. It was probably meant as a joke but I took it too seriously, telling him I thought of him a lot and that I kept all the gifts he gave me. At that point perhaps he recognized I was trying to get back to him, and his attitude to me changed dramatically. He started to give one-word answers a while ago, and now he’s ignoring most of what I text him, no matter how interesting they are. I have tried to stay silent for 3 days or a week in between, but he’s definitely getting colder and non-responsive now.

I am scared that I have ruined my chance with him. The 3-month NC was very tough for me and I feel like I have ruined my own efforts. What should I do now?

Alex

November 19, 2015 at 5:57 am

3 months, I first did 1 month and then felt I was not ready, therefore I did another 2 months
alex

November 17, 2015 at 2:44 am

After 30 days NC I felt I was not ready yet, therefore I took more time off and went on a trip on my own, join new clubs and meet new people etc. I did not want to approach him when I was still a bit moody. Would this extra NC time hurt my chances, and I wonder what should I do now?
Chris Seiter

November 19, 2015 at 5:18 am

How long has your no contact been for exactly?
Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:09 am

Why did you go into no contact for so long?

Laila

November 11, 2015 at 5:46 pm

I have one of the most unique situations possible. Please help!
ashiaana

November 11, 2015 at 2:32 pm

I like a man…he was my facebook friend….we were friend for 3 years in facebook but we did not meet each-other….many times he wanted to meet with me but I did not meet because on that time I was busy with my study and he was giving me time ..he did not mind that much …..after my study I wanted to meet with him but he could not ….because on that time he had a travel planning for going abroad….in middle of this time we did fight and miss understand eachother…he deleted me from his facebook and blocked me….and now I am in “” no contact rules “” I wish I could meet with him and get as my life partner
LAN

November 11, 2015 at 1:54 pm

Hello Chris, I broke up with my boyfriend last Wednesday and it was so bad, I begged him so many times, he said I was crazy and didn’t want to be with me anymore. After breaking with him, I got my stuff back two days after we broke up but when we were going to the subway station together (I was on my way back home from his place and he was going to work at that time) he got pissed off and said F word so I told him, “Now I dont want to be with you anymore, I’ve never said foul language” then I left him and as I remember he was starring at me when I walked down the street.

I think he felt sorry, so he messaged me that day but I ignored him. Next day morning he sent me a pic of the restaurant where he took me on our first date, (is it a good sign?) I ignored again. It has been three days since he sent me the pic. But here is the thing:

He’s leaving for his hometown tomorrow and stayed there during the winter.. so I won’t see him again.. but we made plans to travel to his hometown and Asia. When we were together we were planning on visiting his hometown for thanksgiving day and I already had tickets. It will be in 2 weeks and he knew that I’m coming. I’ve been on NO CONTACT but I feel like I should talk to him about our thanksgiving day plan. I know it’s too early but I am thinking to message him on next thursday (2 weeks after we broke up/NO CONTACT, hopefully he’ll message me before!) to talk about the thanksgiving day plan and trip to Asia. Do you think it’s a bad idea?

LAN

November 11, 2015 at 1:58 pm

*I have the tickets — so I am going to his town..

Sarah

November 10, 2015 at 2:53 pm

Chris, me and my boyfriend were together for almost a year. He recently broke up with me because we both have some trust issues from past relationships and we had trouble trusting each other when we were apart. We have decided to stay friends so that we can work on our trust issues and he really believes this friendship will be good for us. So what do I do? What actions should I take to make him miss me and want me back?
sharon

November 10, 2015 at 12:37 am

Hi,

My boyfriend and I broke up this week. He is going through some emotional stuff and said that he still wants to see me but no longer wants any labels. He says he loves me and wants a future with me. We have so many similar interests and I’m completely in love with him. He is the one for me. He says that he needs about 3 months of not being in a relationship but still wants to see me. What does this mean? I don’t want to lose him or for him to lose love and interest in me? please give me some advice! Thank you! Sharon
Lils

November 9, 2015 at 7:59 pm

Hi Chris,

I wish I had seen your email last week.

I broke up with my ex 8 months ago, because the feelings weren’t there anymore. Things were too casual. It wasn’t mutual and he was really hurt by it. Unfortunately, we lived together and after a lot of discussion, both of us decided we could and wanted to continue living together. For 8 months, there were no relapses. I kept trying to push him away and to do things without me, i even encouraged him to get together with this girl (Sara – not real name) because i thought they would be really great together. Then about a month ago, i started thinking about us again. I missed it. I missed being in sync with him. I missed our conversations. I missed his family. I missed almost everything about being with him, and the things I didn’t miss, had actually changed. He’d become more independent and made more friends. We’re still really close and do a lot together.

Then on Halloween, we went out with our group of friends and partied and since we drove together i assumed he’d drop Sara off and we’d head home, but instead, i was the one dropped off and he went home with her. It hurt. A lot.

Since then i’ve completely over reacted. We even hooked up after that (for the first time in 8 months), and I’ve opened up to him about my feelings. He keeps on saying that he doesn’t know what he wants, but he wants to preserve everyone’s feelings. He’s still spending the night at her place every once in a while.

I don’t know what to do or how to salvage this and get back on track with your game plan. I did really well with the 30 days no contact (roomies edition) and i’ve dated others (discreet on the details but open about the activities) and i’ve kindled some old hobbies and friendships. Could this be a rebound relationship for him? it is for her. . . she just broke up with her boyfriend too maybe 2 months ago.

Please help!

Lils

November 10, 2015 at 10:35 pm

In your section about $ex, you talk about making sure that he’s left wanting more. If he’s currently got a fwb deal with another girl, what prevents him from going to her after i’ve gotten him all worked up?
Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:35 am

There’s not much you can do about that but trust me he will want you more because you will be more high value

Kamee

November 9, 2015 at 6:43 pm

So I started NC 2 weeks ago. My ex texted me about irrelevant things on 2 occasions. I didn’t answer. Hasn’t texted anymore. As suggested on many “get your ex back” sites, I went on a date. I did it just to get out of the house and feel good but really hadno hopes or expectations, almost backed out. Surprisingly it went really well, we are supposed to see each other again this week. You would think that’s great. But it’s not. I want my ex back and I really liked this new guy. I would hate hurting and/or ruining any chances with either of them. Don’t know what to do. Please help analyzing this through.

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”